Epilogue: No Escaping the Pink
The morning train was almost empty as it left Canterlot. After the all night celebration it was going to be a while before most ponies got back into their regular sleeping habits. As we walked back into Ponyville we found the streets deserted, not a single pony walking around.
“Where is everypony?” Catch asked.
“Probably still asleep,” I said as we turned down Stirrup Street toward my home. “Though now that you mention it…”
As we walked up to my front door I noticed something: It was quiet, like the cliché, as the world waited for something to happen. I leant back towards Catch and whispered, “Brace yourself.”
I opened my securely locked door and I was hit by a wave of confetti, streamers and music.
“Surprise!” yelled a wave of voices.
Pinkie appeared behind us. “Welcome to your surprise engagement party! Were you surprised? I know you were surprised, because I got this really major combo that I hadn’t gotten since my sister decided to get secretly engaged and I knew that you two had just gone on an adventure, So it had to be you two. Also, everypony was starting to get really annoyed by the ticking so I had to stop your clocks, but don’t worry I’ll start them all again at the end of the party. So now I’ll get back to my original question, were you surprised‽”
“Very surprised, Pinkie,” I lied.
“Great! Now go have some fun!” With that said, Pinkie disappeared to make sure that the party was as fun as physically possible—or more.
As we walked in the large number of ponies waiting in my house each took the opportunity to congratulate us. Most ponies simply said a few words of congratulations and compliments while some offered to bring gifts to our wedding. Rarity soon managed to track the two of us down and cornered us with a tape measure.
“Turner, Catch! If I could just borrow the pair of you for just a few moments, I have a lot of potential in mind for the pair of you.” She looked almost giddy with ideas.
“Rarity, calm down,” I said. I looked around, “We’re in the middle of a party, for us, so we don’t have time to stand around for... six hours.” I leaned over to Catch and whispered, “Back me up here.”
“Yeah,” Catch said.” We have to talk to ponies about… stuff.”
“Oh but this is just a preliminary measure,” Rarity said in a desperate attempt at justification. “It’s just to get some rough ideas. I shan’t take too long and you two shall look absolutely stunning together.”
“I’m already fine for the wedding,” I protested. “I’ll just wear that hat and vest you made me, or wear nothing at all.”
“And I’ve still got that dress you made for me a while back,” Catch added. “That’ll be just fine.”
Rarity brought a hoof to her heart and looked at us like we’d just thrown her cat in a lake. “You cannot be serious. This is your wedding, a once in a lifetime event. I could not possibly let you wear such casual attire.”
Catch and I looked at each other uncertainly. Any attire at all was formal, and we started to dread what Rarity had in mind.
“You’re not going to let us go, are you?” Catch asked.
“This is Rarity we’re talking about,” I said quietly to Catch. “We won’t be going to the ceremony wearing any less than fifteen different gemstones.”
“I just need five minutes, please,” Rarity asked. I looked around and noticed that other ponies were giving us a wide birth. We were on our own for now.
I sighed, “Okay, but don’t take too long.”
Instead of only taking five minutes Rarity took fifteen. She started with our measurements in a practiced display of magic and followed up by comparing both our coats with colour swatches. Pinkie started to feel our boredom and bounced our way, only to be warded off by Rarity’s gaze.
Our rescue came from a familiar face. “Hey Rarity, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” said Twilight Sparkle, the student I’d questioned a few days ago. “I was thinking about getting some more curtains, Spike has a habit of setting them on fire.”
“Miss Sparkle?” I asked.
“Oh, Detective Turner,” Twilight said as she noticed me. “How’s your case going, there’s nothing wrong here in Ponyville is there?”
“Twilight, my case is finished. Ponyville is where I live and Pinkie threw this party for me.”
“Oh, I never realized. I just moved here as well,” she replied. “I thought you’d be based in Canterlot.”
“Only when I have to be,” I said flatly. “If you were wondering the Panther is indeed real and hasn’t gone rogue, only silent.”
“Oh really? That’s fascinating. Since it was the reason constructs were banned I’d love to get some details about it from you sometime. I could write a paper on it.” Somehow the prospect of a lengthy research paper filled Twilight with joy.
“Sure,” I replied with a shrug. “I’ll also bring your telescope around to your new house. It’s still in pristine condition, though I can’t say the same about the case…”
“I’m living in the library,” Twilight replied. “I’ll be good to have that telescope, the other one’s still in my tower.”
“Wait, did you just say you live in the library?” I asked, adding, “As in Golden Oaks Library?”
“Mmhm,” Twilight said with a nod. “That’s why I missed the surprise. I spent the entire morning reorganizing the books by subject, author and title.”
Something snapped in my head as I considered that. I’d spent a week shelving all those books by title a month ago. It was a minor addition to my position as timekeeper, but an annually painful one. Then Twilight moved in and undid all my work in the space of a single morning.
As I stood broken for a minute Rarity walked on over. “Twilight, I see you’ve met Time Turner. He keeps all the local clocks running on time.” She looked toward me, “I’m done for now, Turner. I’ll need to see the both of you later for a full fitting, but I shall continue working on my designs in the meantime.”
“Wait a minute, Rarity,” Twilight said. “I thought Turner was a detective?”
“You know about that?” Rarity asked Twilight while I went over to check on Lucky Catch.
Catch was standing still and staring at the wall. Recognising a case of severe boredom I called for Pinkie Pie, who appeared a second later. I pointed at Catch, “She’s bored.”
Pinkie’s face took on a rare serious look. “This calls for a super cereal-ally fun party game.” She saluted me and said, “I’ll have her back to normal in a banana split.” Pinkie then picked Catch up and carried her off back into the party.
I turned back to Twilight to see her nodding to Rarity as she said, “I see what you mean.” Twilight looked over to me, “Rarity just told me why you came to Ponyville. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anypony else about you being a detective.”
“Thank you Twilight, now if you’ll excuse me I’d better go see what Pinkie is doing with my fiancé.” Twilight and Rarity said goodbye and I returned to the party proper.
I slowly made my way through the crowd, accepting congratulations and occasionally participating in discussions. It’s hard to fade into the background if you’re the guest of honour.
After a brief discussion on dental health with Minuette – apparently poison joke surprise can stain teeth green – I found out where Pinkie had taken Catch. The pair was dancing to music from my gramophone player and Catch looked like she was enjoying herself. I stood and watched, happy to see her having fun.
There was a tap on my back and I turned around. Ditzy Doo was standing behind me with a letter in her mouth. “Is that from my Canterlot box?” I asked and she nodded. “Thank you, I forget to check it while I was there.”
I took the letter from Ditzy and she said, “It’s no problem, Turner.” She smiled sheepishly, “Would you be okay to watch Dinky on Friday? I’ve got a long distance courier flight to Manehatten.”
“Not a problem, tell Dinky to come around after school. Oh and Ditz, try not to get lost on the way again. I not sure your management would like parcels being late.”
“They don’t mind so long as the parcel gets there, eventually,” she replied. Ditzy – I refuse to call her Derpy – is Ponyville’s long distance courier, an unusual profession considering her tendency to get lost and crash. Despite that she tends to be very dependable when something doesn’t go wrong. Her daughter Dinky is sweet, clever and adorable, unlike her older sibling Sparkler. But that’s another story.
“I’ll just go see what this letter’s about. Good seeing you again Ditzy, tell Dinky I said hi.” I gave a nod to Ditzy and wove my way back through the crowd to my basement’s entrance. Anything from my Canterlot mailbox, which Ditzy checks for me, tends to be exclusively related to my detective work. So this was something to do in my basement office instead of the ‘normal’ one upstairs.
Dodging a few attempted conversation interceptions I nipped through my basement door and locked it behind me again. Downstairs I put the letter on my desk and got out a little gemstone with a detector enchantment. I sat the gemstone on the letter and let it work. After a moment it flashed green to say it couldn’t find any poisons or enchantments in the letter. I’m paranoid about all my Canterlot mail.
I took out a letter opener and slid it through. Nothing untoward happened so I unfolded it out onto my desk. My heart skipped a beat as I read the letter header.
To: Time Turner, Detective
From: Fabulator, disgraced noble
I read the letter in a rush and reread it again just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
Detective Turner, I hope this letter finds you in good health despite my attempts to the contrary. After our recent encounter I found myself rather curious about you and discovered that you’d gone to some extent to hide yourself. An appropriate measure considering.
Never the less, I’m delighted to inform you that there are no hard feelings about your role in my… undoing I suppose is an appropriate word. While some anger was quite natural I soon discovered that the delightful state of affairs in Canterlot’s underworld is in some part your doing. It’s made many of my schemes substantially easier than anticipated. A simple bribe here and perhaps some darker influences elsewhere have done wonders to ease my exile.
Given a few months I should be able to garner some substantial influence within Canterlot; much more perhaps than I was capable of when I still maintained a respectable image.
But that’s enough about me, let us discuss you. I fully expect to encounter you again, indeed I look forward to it, and so you’ll be glad to hear I don’t intend to rid myself of you or do anything to encourage you to come after me. To that end your assistant Lucky Catch and your marefriend Octavia will remain directly unharmed. Fair is fair, of course, so I won’t be expecting you to become involved in my activities unless somepony else asks you to.
As always it was a pleasure to cross purposes with you.
Fabulator
P.S. Octavia’s position in the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra will remain untouched as well; despite some of my own influence in putting her there years ago.
I put the letter down and considered it. Obviously there were several things he hadn’t learned about me. The letter had come through Canterlot so it was possible he didn’t know where I lived, at that point at least. I took the letter across to a clear section of the pin boards that covered the walls of this room and pinned it in the centre. I’d start filling in the area around it as I learned more about Fabulator’s activities.
But that could wait; there was a pinkie party upstairs in my name. I went up and unlocked the door. The party was much the same as it was when as I left. I locked the door behind me and started to look for the next conversation.
Then Pinkie Pie stood up on my coffee table with a familiar object held above her head. “Hey everypony! Time Turner has barrel full of cider, who wants some?” Pinkie called out and several hooves shot up. Rainbow Dash reached the ceiling in her attempts to be noticed. I could only stare as the entire town split up the last of my – illegal – alcoholic cider.
Applejack came alongside with a cupful. “This, that barrel you got off us last year? Didn’t think you’d have saved it for this long, seems a good a time as any ta drink it.” Applejack drained the entire cup in a flash and I saw several other ponies do the same.
“Yeah, that’s the barrel,” I said quietly.
“Woah, that had a darn good kick to it,” Applejack said as she brought her empty cup down. “Ah don’t remember that batch being this good though. Whatcha do to it anyhow?” Considering there was no way to answer that question without lying to Applejack I decided not to answer at all.
Pinkie Pie and Lucky Catch came up to us with a couple of cups that were leftover. Pinkie pressed hers into my hooves and Catch lifted hers up to toast me.
“To us,” she said.
“To us,” I agreed reluctantly and we brought our cups together. I drank, considering the situation it seemed like the right choice.
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Write because it makes you happy. don't wait for others to tell you it was a worthwhile effort.
I can honestly say though, This was fantastic! I can't wait to see more and am going to do my damnedest to make sure it's gets more attention. The fact you have so few followers is a crime that cannot go uncorrected!
This series was thoroughly enjoyable! I'm looking forward to hopefully reading more about him. I'm interested in the Discord connection, exactly what was up with getting his cutie mark, and a bunch of other things I can't remember at the moment.
2701809
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
ohhhh i smella prooooobblllleeemm!
just think even while hiding in ponyville press still travels and once rumors spread that turners married tavis whole coltfriend excuse will evaporate leaving her and vinyl defenceless (not to mention most ponies know about vinyls fillyfooling it wont be hard for nobles to put 2 and 2 together) and possible initiating some hard to answer questions
currently turners known as octavias coltfriend in canterlot thats no joke however a marriage is something different especially if officiated by luna herself ESPECIALLY since its her first since returning this means the press will be ALL OVER THAT
I remember reading some of this a long time ago and wound up forgetting about. Just now found it again and loved it.
I like the character lucky catch and love how you wrote every character.
Both of these stories were great. Spot on. One of the best I've read so far. I hope to see more of the Detective.
D'awwww at Turner getting married reluctantly with Lucky Catch. I didn't expect it to turn out that way.
3285349 3283716
Thank you both. I find myself rather suprised to get two comments on this story in one day – I'd thought this doomed to the dusty archives of the back catalogue.
SliQster, I find it rather flattering that you included both of the Discordian Detective stories on your user page, thanks again.
3285370 Believe me, my friend, they deserve it.
3285370 Your welcomed and I'm suprised this doesn't have a hundred comments.I added this to my group"the good prince" because of your portrayal of prince blueblood.
Well, I enjoyed it.
On to the next one.
I finally got around to reading this story, and it was a nice little ride. I had a good bit of fun with this story. It had a solid mystery, some interesting characters, and some good humor. I think I'll check out the other story in this series and see what it is about someday.
Nice to see a non-useless Blueblood. Would be like Time Turner to not write down what his personal fear is. Also interesting to see that Time Turner doesn't always completely win. Luna certainly gave him a bit of a slapdown over the whole marriage thing. And an interesting complication with Octavia.
I thought I had read this one when I read the first one, but the latest chapter of your Winningverse story reminded me I hadn't. Personally, I can't wait to see what happens to poor Turner when Discord actually breaks out ... and what the reaction of a certain librarian will be to his relationship with the god of chaos!
3515399 That's fair. I still feel like it wasn't her place to interfere like that. Absolutely tell him that's wrong but you force him to deal with it doesn't feel right. It just really felt like a gross abuse of power. ><
4172339
That, is probably one of the reasons I've been so slack with continuing this series. Lucky Catch, people either like her, or detest her.
Probably what I get for taking a joke and making it such central part of the story (not to mention writing Turner into a corner with her).
This was a great read! Thank you very much for the story.
Quick question: Does this happen before or after the "Timekeeper" story with Golden Harvest? I don't remember any mention of Lucky Catch anywhere or are they not canon?
EDIT:
Oh wow! You answered my question before I could even type it. Thanks.
4172375
Seperate universes and all that - Alcohol isn't banned in the other one.
The more recent Timekeeper Turner has become a rather different character, despite this one being his chief inspiration.
4172353
Oh wow! You answered my question before I could even type it.
That really is a bummer though. I really do enjoy these Time Turner stories, and probably because I read "Timekeeper" before this, I was feeling really uneasy with Lucky Catch. To be honest, I thought she was adorable, but I still feel that things wouldn't work out between the two of them because of Turner's hesitant and uncertain stance on the subject. It kind of seems like he is giving himself up to her rather than giving himself wholeheartedly to her. In a passive-optimistic way rather than "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you" way.
It really stinks you've painted yourself into a bit of a corner, but perhaps things wouldn't just work out between them make an interesting story? He already has one furious ex and the experience could leave him with a more mature look on how he handles relationships (like he does in "Timekeeper").
Looking forward to your next work!
4172388
Okey-Dokey-Lokey!
Haha, no. Unless we're counting Luna, Celestia, and (I hate to say it) Cadance all as one pony this isn't true. And even assuming this is before Cadance that still leaves Celestia and Luna as more powerful than him.
5260849
In context it is, this is immediately before Luna's return, but I hadn't really accounted for Cadance either.
5264173 Even if we were to account for Cadance, in both the context of Canon and this story, Cadance hasn't been talked about or mentioned in anyway. Meanwhile, Blueblood is the head of the mortal royalty/nobility and is essentially the talk of Canterlot. At least, when compared to Cadance who doesn't get mentioned until the episode(s) she premiered in. Factor out Luna, and you have Celestia on top followed by Blueblood.
As a sidenote, I want a sequel. And make sure to include the inquisition. After all, nopony, NOPONY, expects the inquisition.
5264173 Well to be fair, I don't think Cadence had a lot of authority. She may have had power on paper, but....I am not sure that she really had any TRUE power and certainly didn't seem to have a lot of influence.
While Blueblood may have less power, he has a SIGNIFICANT amount more influence. Not only that, but Blueblood would have a MUCH bigger reputation as someone you did NOT want to anger and who would hold a grudge, also more reasons to give him more EFFECTIVE power than Cadence.
You can has review!