The nine mercenaries of Teufort hold several beliefs in common: weapon maintenance is vital, everyone else on the team is crazy, and a good hat is precious. Dell's a little worried about having two strange specimens from that last category just appear, but -- hats are hats, and one of them has already been claimed. Maybe it'll end there.
Maybe the original owners won't show up to take them back.
Maybe said owners aren't small magic-wielding equines.
...well, crap.
(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)
Rated C for Concheror Crackfic.
Chapters (1)
Added to
Triptych Continuum Rebooted (group)
Cracfick (folder)
Success! We have secured the Magician's Hat!
Demoman: "Cheers, mates!"
Trixie: "The Greatly Perturbed and Powerfully Enraged Trrrixie demands the return of her glorious magical hat of majesty!"
Teufort gets exploded by fireworks
That last line is a thing of beauty.
At least it wasn't a fez.
Which is surprising. Because fezes are cool.
I have hats in my story too. Head glomping living hats...
Boo, hiss
Shame on you
Taking those twos hats was a massive mistake, at least once the problem was realized they knew when to fold them. At least this time the owner of these items will be able to just ask without any issues. I wonder what they with think of his darling?
That ending. Badum-tiss!
I’m trying to imagine which of them would look the most absurd with Twilight’s diadem of Magic.
I think the answer is “All of them”.
He’d better get that teleporter fixed. Or else they might wind up with a grumpy archeologist looking for his fedora and whip…
Hats are serious business.
It occurs to me that Applejack would be upset if she learned that someone was excited to wear Trixie's hat but no one tried to wear hers.
I have a new and deeply concerning hypothesis on the origin of Discord.
In any case, it's always a delight to see you dip into crossovers. Seeing the same care and forethought you put into Equestria applied to other media always makes for an engaging and rich experience. You always have such tremendous respect for the source material (often more than the source material has for itself) and the results of that go in such fascinating directions. The scene from the Pyro's perspective was especially touching and question-raising.
Delightful madness throughout, as sane as Dell's finest hat. Thank you for it.
for the benefit of anyone who's not familiar with that reference:
and another funny video that fits the theme of this story:
Thank you, Mr. Feghoot.
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https://youtu.be/WUhOnX8qt3I?t=46
https://x.com/PinkieFanClub/status/711611832918736896
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I think, owner of that scarf is much, much scarier.
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If he's pissed at you, sure. He's usually a pleasant chap if not provoked.
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Unless he already found his bowtie, he would be.
That was the only one with some semblance of taste. Well, until exposed to fez. But that is universal constant. (to think about it, if Estee used fez, that apply to every incarnation)
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Very serious, ask any Jagerkin
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I was almost expecting a Jagerkin for the ending. Perhaps for part two.
This was a very enjoyable story - I don't know much about TF2, but I've seen some of the videos - This seems to fit nicely around them.
YES
loved this. all the mercs felt perfectly in character, and god the way you wrote soldier got plenty of giggles out of me
One of the most engaging and fun stories I’ve read, it’s crazy I read this right after getting into MvM. Your prose and style is awesome in how witty, subtle, and rich it is! I’m also looking forward to reading your other fics sometime. Great work!
somehow this reminded me of another funny video: