Flurry’s Dad does not have wings

Flurry wonders.
Just why is it that most of the ponies in her family have wings. But her dad does not?

There is a perfectly normal reason why.

However that might not be the answer she gets.
Because today Shining Armour has decided to be a Terrible Dad.

Written for the Shining Armour is a Terrible Dad contest

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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odeeyou

odeeyou #1 · Mar 21st, 2024 · 2 · ·

...I was five or six years old and the toilet in my childhood home was an ancient thing. It made a huge ruckus every time you flushed it. Sounded like it was growling... My dad convinced me there was a monster living under the toilet.

Kassaz

Kassaz #2 · Mar 21st, 2024 · 2 · ·

Shining had managed clear his schedule

Shining had managed to clear his schedule

while Cadance had left quite early and was hoping to able to join them all sometimes after noon

while Cadance had left quite early and was hoping to be able to join them all sometime after noon

So, at this moment the breakfast table was only populated by Shining, who was doing something so rare and precious as simply drinking a nice cup of tea and reading a newspaper. And Flurry, who had grown past her initial toddler stage of destructive exploration, to a slightly less explosive, much more subtle age of inquisitive experimentation. Which still included the occasional destruction. And thus the little alicorn was currently systematically deconstructing her pancakes.

Many of these sentences should be clauses separated by commas, although I suppose this could be arguable in style.

Then there was the questions.

Then there were the questions.

For while there was a perfectly good way to answer, Shining was now a Dad, and the things about Dads are that they will all reach moments where they have the choice to be good proper fathers.
Or to be terrible Dads.
And in this moment Shining made a choice, *the* choice.
To Be a terrible Dad.

For a while

These paragraphs have improper capitalization.

And so he carefully pushed his newspaper to the side, took a sip of his tea, looked right at his sweet little daughter. And smiled as he answered.

I'd make this a single sentence.

“Both at the same time, you were unlucky.”

“Both at the same time, if you were unlucky.”

Unfortunately for Flurry her grandfather was also a Dad. And even if his children had grown into their own lives, he was still a Dad, and so was tempted by that same terrible urge.
The urge to be a terrible Dad.

I suppose capitalizing dad like this can be a stylistic choice.

“Oh yes, mine was bitten of by a really big green beast. I was trying to save you grandmothers wings, but alas, hers was bitten of only a few days later.”

“Oh yes, mine were bitten of by a really big green beast. I was trying to save your grandmother's wings, but alas, hers were bitten off only a few days later.”

But don’t you worry, your mom and dad with do all they can to make sure no nasty monsters come and bite off your wings. And so will your grandma and grandpa, now that we are here.

But don’t you worry, your mom and dad will do all they can to make sure no nasty monsters come and bite off your wings. And so will your grandma and grandpa, now that we are here.

It's really not proper to begin a sentence with and like this.

Not that there are much to look out for

Not that there are many to look out for

Eyes a little bit too wide, the tiny princess took of in direction of the guestrooms. Wings carefully clamped at her sides.

Eyes a little bit too wide, the tiny princess took off in the direction of the guestrooms. Wings carefully clamped at her sides.

My second correction is optional here.

Dedicated to my Dad, who is a terrible terrible Dad. And my Great-Grandmother, who helped him convince my little sister that humans used to have lizard tails, but they all got bitten of by dinosaurs

Dedicated to my Dad, who is a terrible terrible Dad. And my Great-Grandmother, who helped him convince my little sister that humans used to have lizard tails, but they all got bitten off by dinosaurs

This should be one sentence if the and will remain, and it has no ending punctuation, such as a period.

Lastly, the title should use does, not do.

I'm available for proofreading.

Starlight Nova

Starlight Nova #3 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · 3 · 1 ·

...Man this contest has a lot of entries. What is it about making Shining a bad father that makes it so appealing to write stories like this about? I had no idea he was this unpopular.

AvoidingFever17

AvoidingFever17 #4 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · 3 · ·

11857119
He's not unpopular!
Heck its the opposite
Really its about making fun of his silly moments
But in the end? He's a great father to flurry and brother to twilight

Easysnuggler

Easysnuggler #5 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · 3 · ·

When she lost her first baby tooth, I convinced my daughter that she was going to lose her baby ears and her baby nose.

Moosetasm

Moosetasm #6 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · · ·

11857119
He’s not unpopular. But there are just some things that he’s done that raises some red flags. Like throwing his wife from a balcony. And not noticing his wife had been replaced by a giant bug. And not telling Twilight he was getting married until mere days before the ceremony. And not telling Twilight that he and Cadance had a foal. So you see, Shining brought all this bad publicity on himself.

Purple Seacow

Purple Seacow #7 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · · ·

11857119
I mean, the vast majority of the stories for this contest, (including mine, of you actually go ahead and read it) are not grounded in a dislike of Shining? Instead they are all based about him being dorky and goofy. Generally playing with the silly tropes about Dads and Dad Jokes.
You don't get this much output unless it is grounded in fondness.

For real, I literally based this story on my own dad, and a thing he did when I was a kid.

And I love my dad.

Purple Seacow

Purple Seacow #8 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · · ·

11857398
The sound I made when I read this

Forcalor

Forcalor #9 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · · ·

Dads are the best sometimes, right? There are a truly unique energy to them and to everything that relates to fatherhood
Great story.

11857119
And speaking of that, he's like, only prominent dad figure in canon -- besides one or two, or maybe three side characters that are never highlighted in that regard. The stallion gets to pull almost all the weight

Purple Seacow

Purple Seacow #10 · Mar 22nd, 2024 · 1 · ·

11856934
Ah, thanks!
I honestly knew it needed a second round of polish, but got IRL issues, so decided to run with "good enough" so that I at least got it posted within the deadline.
I did not find out about the extension until after posting it.
So your suggestions are quite welcome.
And yes, the capitalization thing was a deliberate choice in those sections.