Beware The Cuddler

by sykko

The Cuddler is captured! Hooray?

For several days Anon lay in the back of an uncomfortable wagon. When they reached a train station, he was unceremoniously dumped into a luggage car and tied to a luggage rack. Twice a day ponies would come in and give him food, mostly apples or carrots. Every couple of hours they would bring him water in what looked like big versions of the water tubes for hamster cages.

***

For two weeks Anon had laid hog tied in the luggage cart. Once the train reached Canterlot, he was handed(hoofed?) over to the royal guard. The six mares who had caught him got to split the reward.

Anon grunted as he was deposited on a plush red rug in a long room. Along the walls were tall fluted pillars. The winds were stained glass depicting different ponies beating different enemies. He knew this room well.

Anon ran his eyes along the red carpet. His eyes followed the red rug up to a raised dais. On top of the dais was a throne, sitting on the throne was a white mare with a pastel rainbow-colored mane that blew on ethereal winds. She wore golden shoes, a golden ceremonial yoke with a violet gem in the center, and a golden tiara. Sitting to her right was a dark blue mare with a mane that looked like the night sky that also blew on ethereal winds. She wore vestment similar to the white one, only they were clack as onyx, and the ceremonial yoke had mother or pearl adornments in the center that depicted the phases of the moon in a stylized manner.

A golden aura surrounded the ropes and they were untied. Anon rubbed his wrists, glad to be free of the bonds.

"Anon...", the white mare spoke in a bell-like tone. "Did you think you could escape us and avoid capture?"

"Aye, indeed sister.", The dark blue one spoke. "Belly rubs, back scratches, floof scratches, chin rubs, ear scritches and snoot boops are reserved for royalty only. Thou hast caused much disruption and strain on our little ponies."

Anon lowered his head. "I'm sorry, princesses. It's just that ponies are so fluffy and snuggly and cute that I had to go out and give them as many of them scratches and scritches and pets as I could."

Celestia rose from her throne, walked down the dais and gently placed a hoof under Anon's chin, raising his head to look at her. "Anon, I know you oomyns have a compulsion to scratch and scritch and pet and boop all furry creatures. We cannot have you simply giving them out to the common ponies. It would cause riots as ponies would fight over who would be next to get their ears scritched or their bellies rubbed or their snoots booped."

Anon gave a small nod. "I understand, princess."

Celestia gave a small smile and walked back to her throne. "Come, Anon, my sister and I are in dire need of some belly rubs and ear scritches."

Anon rose to his feet and walked towards the two princesses.

***

For two weeks Anon gave the princesses ear scritches, chin scratches, floof scratches, back scratches, massages, belly rubs and snoots boops. The whole while he was planning another escape.

Today both princesses were busy and had not called on him. Anon was currently planting the seeds for his next escape. He was currently giving ear scritches to a small group of castle staff. "If you want more scritches, you will help me with my escape plan. It's not going to be today, but it will be soon enough."

"I know somepony down in Ponyville who can help you get out. Her name is Lyra Heartstrings. I'll talk to her when she comes to visit."

Anon smirked as he could see the pieces for his next escape were slowly moving into place. After all ear scritches, back scratches, chin scratched, floof scratches, massages and snoot boops were for everypony, not just a pair of princesses.

Author's Note:

Aaand the story is finished.

I hope you all had a chuckle or two.

Comments

[Oops door]

Truly, a menace of society that is unmatched and far too dangerous we need the justice league to stop it

[Roran Dreamon]

This Anon is a mastermind criminal on par with MegaMind himself! He must be stopped or else all will succumb to the boops n scritches!

[Tiny_Coconuts]

"I know somepony down in Ponyville who can help you get out. Her name is Lyra Heartstrings. I'll talk to her when she comes to visit."

Just imagine Lyra being happy after having a human in her house... she's a brouman. (reverse brony XDDDDD)

[FTR2017]

Cute and funny, thanks for the smiles this brought me!

[Fireeaters]

It'll be the collapse of pony civilisation, until someone manages to clone anon or something

[Black--Soul]

Silly little fun for a rainy day. 👍

[MurderP0n7]

Anon smirked as he could see the pieces for his next escape were slowly moving into place. After all ear scritches, back scratches, chin scratched, floof scratches, massages and snoot boops were for everypony, not just a pair of princesses.

a sequel... I like, I like very much, especially Lyra, but one thing I hope from the next chapter is that Candance and Shinning appear, but if it is not possible, then that some changelings appear hehehehe

[MurderP0n7]

11813556
but as a woman, it would be a human sister (human version of pega sister Lmao)

[-TheStoryteller-]

This...this..."Cuddler" is obviously a creature of PURE EVIL that must be stopped! Imagine! Booping noses, and giving...giving...belly rubs willy-nilly! It's...disgraceful!

[Starblade]

When I saw the title, I immediately thought of The Cuddle Bandit Begins by little big pony.

[Seredegni]

I liked the ending, for me a happy ending.

Again it was too short for my taste, but at least I enjoyed it while it lasted. I give it three stars ⭐⭐⭐

Likewise, I give the rest of the story its well-deserved three stars ⭐⭐⭐

That does NOT mean that for me it was a bad fic, on the contrary, it was very entertaining and will go on my list of favorite stories, because I will surely read it more times in the future

[Tiny_Coconuts]

11813957
Fr bro

[Black--Soul]

This time they stopped him... but he will return one day, free to cuddke and snuggel and morrre ♡
camo.fimfiction.net/WLtOgQjKIZxUNjD8RiHFxcm6B7IsWI0FpwjdDtnG0rM?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgflip.com%2F2bktwu.jpg

[HorseWordFan]

I'm profoundly disappointed in this story, author. It contained only one of the three things you list as liking in your author blurb. Now, I can excuse the lack of violence--snoot booping is an acceptable substitute--but the lack of heavy metal is absolutely egregious!

[ThePinkedWonder]

Celestia and Luna are two very greedy as hell heroic princesses for trying to keep The Cuddler's ear scritches, chin scratches, floof scratches, back scratches, massages, etc. to themselves & not risk all of Equestria's ponies enjoying suffering from The Cuddler's fun.

[sykko]

11815332
Ponies is metal!

[PrincePegacornV]

Anon is the WORST kind of evil! Bwahahaha!

[Black--Soul]

Until next time, when it returns...
camo.fimfiction.net/3w3Dwfru-LgMxrxtHd0cYWkhNpOSqd5KumlX_BUyg94?url=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2F2013%2F9%2F19%2F430894%2Ffull.gif

[Destiny Chaser]

A black fiend of the worse kind!

[Enzolay]

Anon smirked as he could see the pieces for his next escape were slowly moving into place. After all ear scritches, back scratches, chin scratched, floof scratches, massages and snoot boops were for everypony, not just a pair of princesses.

PERFECT! I had to chuckle so heavily, and especially when Celestia proclaimed that Anon's actions are reserved for mare i flipped out!This is too good!