Fiery Hearts and Sibling Love

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Comments ( 11 )

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Sora21

Sora21 #1 · Oct 23rd, 2023 · · ·

Not bad for a first time fic like this. Definitely has room for improvement. Good job.

SamSwordsman123

SamSwordsman123 #2 · Oct 23rd, 2023 · · ·

11729378
How could I improve it right now?

Sora21

Sora21 #3 · Oct 23rd, 2023 · · ·

11729563
Well, one thing I can say is that when writing a fic like this, the most important thing is to be able to make sure that you're readers can picture and feel what is going on in their minds. So, the more you can give a clear description of what's happening, the better off it'll be for reading and helping you to get comfortable when doing these kinds of fics.

SamSwordsman123

SamSwordsman123 #4 · Oct 23rd, 2023 · · ·

11729737
I thought I did do that. What description do you feel is lacking? If it's with the action of sex that's cause this my first time writing that as I said.

Sora21

Sora21 #5 · Oct 23rd, 2023 · 1 · ·

11729756
Right, and I understand that. Just letting you know that the more you practice with describing a scene out, the better you’ll get at it. Practice makes perfect, but for a first attempt, not bad at all.

SamSwordsman123