Honeymoon Phase

by UnknownError

A Brochure for Seaward Shoals, Slightly Singed

Luna glowered at the ceiling through the golden bubble.

A lock of blue hair fell into her eyes, so she puffed it away.

It fell back into place. The alicorn finally shifted her pouting, folded forelegs and brushed her unkempt mane by hoof. It pooled against the side of the shield she was currently trapped in, matched by her slightly singed tail.

She returned to glowering at the rock ceiling, staring at stalactites. “They had the bell.”

There was no response from the bubble to her right.

Luna’s muzzle twisted and she bared her teeth at the ceiling. “They had the bell.”

“I didn’t know that,” a voice meekly answered.

Luna shifted an eye to glare. Discord laid like a limp noodle in his own bubble beside her, hovering a few hooves off the ground. His colors had partially washed out from his own depowering, leaving his fur and scales sepia toned. The draconequus refused to meet the alicorn’s eyes.

“Trixie is going to get Sunburst,” a mare said to Luna’s left.

The midnight blue alicorn turned to face that bubble, rolling on the magical surface she was suspended in. Seven ponies stared back, most in decent condition. Except the alicorn. The purple Princess Twilight Sparkle patted her mane with a hoof, mumbling to herself.

The cause of her distress was the large newspaper left slapped against the surface of the magical bubble. The front page depicted Princess Celestia in her wedding dress wrapping a wing around her husband, looking serenely sloshed under the light of her sister’s moon. Her husband looked prophetically terrified, and only slightly less drunk.

“Whoa nelly,” Applejack snorted, looking again at the paper. “She, uh, certainly had ‘er share of drinks, didn’t she?”

Twilight hiccupped with a giggle.

“Missed out on one great party,” Rainbow puffed. "If I knew Princess Celestia could throw a rager, I woulda wanted to go." The mare kept flapping around the bubble and attempting to punch her way out, but the magic simply flexed and shocked her. Being a pegasus, it was not much of a deterrent.

“When we get out, we gotta give the royal family a party!” Pinkie chirped. She laid on her back in the overcrowded herd. Fluttershy sat down next to her, trying to reassure Twilight. The butter-yellow pegasus made little progress with her reassuring back pats.

Rarity propped herself up on the side of the bubble. “Princess Luna,” she requested politely, “I must ask: How did your sister like the dress?”

“She liked it enough to be married in it,” Luna deadpanned.

“Did she speak to you about it?”

“Nay,” Luna frowned.

Rarity pursed her lips. “I suppose I can ask her when she gets here.”

“Trixie’s going to the Crystal Empire,” Starlight said again. “Flash Sentry is rallying the guard.”

Rainbow snorted above the unicorn.

“We aren’t going to lose!” Starlight snapped with a flushed muzzle.

Cozy Glow laughed outside the bubble. The ascended pegasus tapped her new horn with a hoof and grinned up at the three golden bubbles. Her horn glowed red and she resumed coloring in several sketches. “Magic sure is useful, huh?”

Grogar’s Bewitching Bell hung from her neck. The cracks in the side glowed with wisps of black, foul magic. Cozy stuck out her tongue as she scribbled extra fountains of blood on her picture with a red crayon worn down to a nub. “Golly! Who woulda thunk that Mister Grogar was really Discord?”

Luna shifted her glower back to Discord. “You did not expect them to lie to you?”

“I usually don’t think things through,” Discord mumbled.

The cave shook. Pebbles on the large meeting table in the center of the room jittered from the aftershock of the impact. Cozy smiled, all teeth like a shark. She winked a red eye at the bubble. “Guess that means we’re good to go.”

“You think they won’t turn you?” Starlight tried. “They left you down here to watch us.”

Cozy pointed her wing at the unicorn. “Nuh-uh. Not gonna work after Miss Nightmare and Not-Grogar crashed the party. Gonna be honest, taking all of you out was even easier than I thought it’d be.”

The little alicorn shakily levitated up a few of her drawings. In one, Starlight was tied up in ropes above a pit full of sharks. The one beside it was a fake ‘Prank O’Rama!’ store that was little more than a large box held up by a stick. A little pink pony stumbled towards it with a dumb grin drawn on.

“Rude!” Pinkie sputtered, “I probably wouldn’t have fallen for that!”

A third drawing of Rainbow Dash caught in a giant net with a shocked look on her muzzle floated up. The pegasus punched the side of the bubble again. “You aren’t getting away with this!”

“Uh, we already did?” Cozy laughed. “Just one to go!” She stamped a hoof and all the papers fell except for the newspaper of Celestia’s wedding. “Gonna be honest: Doesn’t look like much of a fight…”

“Equestria will still beat you,” Applejack snorted. She held onto her half-burnt hat protectively. “Ponies will stand together.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow added.

“Plus, Princess Cadance and Shining Armor will come!” Starlight shouted.

Luna frowned. “Excuse me? My sister is still—”

“The one that didn’t even fight Mr. Tirek?” Cozy giggled. “The same one that lost to Chrysalis twice?” The filly flapped her wings as her horn glowed red again. “I could take her, but somepony needs to keep an eye on you.”

Luna narrowed her eyes, and her expression moved to the Elements of Harmony. And Starlight. None of them met her piercing gaze.

Coyolxauhqui bared her teeth. “Filly…any other day I may have agreed with you, but my sister is not having a good day.”

“That’s obvious.” Cozy rattled the newspaper and it made the broken bell around her neck wobble.

“Nay,” Luna shook her head. Her stare softened and she looked to the Elements. “I am so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Princess,” Rarity assured her.

“I was never as good a fighter as my sister,” Luna whickered. “That remained true even as I was corrupted.”

“SHOW YOURSELF ‘PRINCESS CELESTIA.’ SHOW YOURSELF AND FALL.”

Tirek’s voice boomed out from somewhere beyond the cave. The entire cave rattled, loose stones shaking on the floor. “Oh, he’s really powered up,” Cozy laughed.

“You shall make an excellent battery,” Chrysalis added in an oily hiss. “Canterlot is already mine.” Her voice was nearly unrecognizable, thrumming in multiple tones with echoes of magical power.

“Sounds like she’s gotten quite the feast,” Cozy remarked. She returned to her doodles, humming some song to herself.

Twilight Sparkle finally found her voice. “You…you won’t beat Equestria. Even if you beat Princess Celestia, ponies will unite in friendship. You will fail.”

“STOP HIDING.”

“Filly,” Luna sighed, “today you do not have to beat Princess Celestia. You have to beat my sister.”

“What’s the difference?” Cozy chuckled.

“Coward, are you afraid to face your betters?”

“COWARD, WHY DELAY? WE ARE INEVITA—"

Tirek’s voice cut off with a high-pitched shriek that echoed across the entire landscape. Several stalactites broke free and fell to the cave floor, shattering. Every occupant of the cave clapped appendages over their ears.

Except for Luna and Discord. Luna laid sedately on the bottom of the bubble with half-lidded eyes. Discord’s paw drifted lower as he laid in a pooled noodle. Cozy dropped her crayon as her horn blinked out.

She went low, Coya huffed in her mind. Crom’s Mercy, she has to stop stabbing low.

“YOU BITCH!”

Tirek’s broken, high-pitched voice tore across the landscape. Several blasts of magic reverberated, and every occupant in the cave gasped except for two. Another blast responded, not chiming with magic but the roar of fire.

"Scorpan isn't here to beg for your life."

The new voice was a haughty mare with a self-centered smirk clearly audible. A peal of laughter followed another blast, braying with confidence. It was not as deep as Tirek’s, nor as thrumming as Chrysalis’ hiss. It was both a new voice, and very, very old.

Luna looked to the seven ponies in the bubble beside her. “I am so sorry for what you are about to hear.”

“I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES INTO PASTE.”

“Bold talk for a one-balled centaur.”

Sounds of apocalyptic battle echoed above the cave. A neigh of pain was under the roar of a fireball, followed by Tirek’s wild snarl and a crack of magic. The ground shook, and whatever impact occurred was severe enough to cause a split in the ceiling. Another high-pitched scream echoed and wavered into a sob.

“Correction: no balls.”

Chrysalis’ war shriek followed another neigh of pain. Cozy Glow didn’t notice. Her eyes were very wide as she stared blankly ahead, crayons forgotten. Luna spared a look at the overcrowded bubble. The ponies inside were quiet. Rainbow Dash ceased flapping and landed atop Starlight and Applejack, but neither complained.

“Going for a new look?” Chrysalis laughed. “Or a very old one, Helia?” A zap followed, splitting off into multiple sounds and refracting as the blast was deflected. Two blasts of mismatched magic melded below a long, low roar of effort as Luna’s sister struggled to shield herself.

“I…I WILL KILL YOU.”

Tirek’s voice had lost most of his confidence, though that was understandable. It wavered despite the clear power simmering behind it. There was a heavy impact that left another crack in the ceiling. Most of the pictures had long since scattered across the cave, and all the collected knick-knacks gathered by the Legion of Doom were gradually covered in falling dust.

There was a brief silence after a rattling impact. Somewhere above, a mountain collapsed in an tumbling avalanche. The noise gradually faded and all was quiet.

“Well…” Chrysalis’ voice was breathless in all its tones. “I must say, that flank could truly launch—”

A blast tore through rock, then Chrysalis wailed with all her voices in response to a single savage snarl. There was another impact that shook the cave, then another, then another. Finally, Luna’s ears perked as Xiuhcoatl sliced flesh with a rending tear and low, heavy moan.

“Stick around.”

“Y-you…” Chrysalis’ weakened voice stuttered.

“You appear to be missing a flank. No Hayctor to save you, Brood Queen. No wooden pony.”

A whoosh of magic was followed by a scream of indignant rage. Several wild blasts of fire rolled over desperate, echoing squawks. The ground pounded and the bubbles wobbled mid-air in the cave below.

“YOU SICK MONSTER!”

The magical blasts faded away, and an utterly flat promise rolled across the sky in response.

“You’re next.”

The clash resumed. The laughter was not so braying now, but it continued with every hard strike; Low, fiery chuckles of somepony truly enjoying their work. The magical blasts and shudders began to slow in retaliation, and Luna winced with every thunk of a spearpoint making impact and gradually weaker screams.

Oh, please don’t let all of Equestria be watching this.

The noise abruptly stopped after a growl of inarticulate rage and a choking gurgle. A thud reverberated as a massive body fell to earth with a triumphant whinny trailing the fall. Luna felt the magic rush around her and all across Equestria, returning to all those who Tirek had stolen from.

But that also meant that the vow to the long-dead Scorpan was broken. Luna’s muzzle furrowed and she closed her eyes. I’m sorry, friend. She opened her eyes to stare down at Cozy Glow, who still sat at the circular rock table with outstretched wings. The little would-be alicorn had almost stopped breathing, holding the bell between shaking forelegs.

Luna glanced at the similarly stunned ponies in the bubble beside her. She returned to Cozy. “Foal.”

The filly did not hear her.

“Foal,” Luna repeated with more urgency.

Cozy finally snapped to attention. Her red irises hid pinpoint pupils.

“Run,” Luna ordered.

“I-I have the bell,” Cozy held it up. “I have the b-bell.”

“Do you think those cracks in it came from Gusty?” Luna nickered. “Leave. Now.”

Cozy took a deep breath and her wings fluttered.

The ceiling exploded.

The blast startled the seven ponies back into awareness and they whinnied as one. A cloud of dust blocked everything from view, and Luna registered the small alicorn back up against her hovering bubble. The sound of falling rocks settled into a silence; dust hung in the air.

Metal scraped on stone from within the cloud. It kicked up a flurry of sparks. Raspy breathing picked up, then an awkward, stumbling gait. For one moment, Luna thought Chrysalis made it back to the cave.

And then Huitzilopochtli staggered out of the dust storm, dragging Xiuhcoatl with a wing pressed against her side. The difference was in the stance, a swagger despite the heavy limp and a smile that was more a baring of teeth than an attempt to be friendly. Luna’s breath caught at the sight of her sister’s injuries.

Her right eye was swollen shut and crusted with blood. Her pink, braided mane was mostly charred away, and what remained was streaked with red and green blood in equal measure. Her tail was almost entirely gone, similarly blackened with close calls. Her left foreleg was twisted, having been snapped back into place after a clean break; the left wing was also dislocated and twitching.

Her white fur was pink with splotches of green. A gash covered her left cutie mark, and blood spilled over the happy sun. The golden tiara atop her smoking mane was partially melted and stuck to her head. A single magenta eye burned, fixated on the filly backing away from the monster limping towards her. The bloody spearpoint trailed fire atop the shattered table, then the floor.

“Foal,” Huitzy spat in the old tongue. “I should have known…” The eye caught the bell and the taller alicorn smiled wide with bloody teeth. Luna noted the blood was green on her molars. “Grogar. Heh, did that old goat survive without his intestines?”

Cozy Glow shook the bell, though it was impossible to tell if it was intentional. Her forelegs trembled too badly. The magic tolled across the cave and washed over Huitzy.

The amulet around her neck blazed with fire and Luna’s sister breathed in with a ragged cough. The air grew hot even inside the prison bubbles. Huitzy gripped the spear to her side and twirled it with a deft wing and right hoof. Blood flicked off the spearpoint. The Amulet of Ra shielded her from the Bewitching Bell and Tirek's magic with its own power.

“I don’t need magic, foal,” Huitzy mocked with a rasp. “I did not need it the first time, though Gutsy may have gotten the kill.” She offered a single huff of laughter. “She was good enough in bed to take the credit.”

Coya thanked Crom her sister was still speaking their old language.

Huitzy’s eye wandered above Cozy to Coya. Her grimace turned into a lopsided smirk, though with the bruising along the right side of her muzzle she may have genuinely been attempting to smile. Luna noted the pink, tribal swirls mostly hidden by the ash and blood on her sister’s forelegs: her sister's old war paint freshly applied.

Luna swallowed years of conflicting emotions as she regarded the sister she remembered. She was not Huitzilopochtli; she did not have the frame of solid muscle, and the years had given her long legs and wings and a sharp, pointed horn. And yet…

“Coya,” Huitzy puffed. “Saved you this time, it seems.”

“So it seems,” Luna returned in Ponish.

The one magenta eye rolled in mock admonishment. “Of course,” Huitzy drawled in Ponish back. She turned an eye down to the filly below Luna.

“You escaped Tartarus?” Huitzy asked with some genuine curiosity. She did not wait for the answer. “I did too, once. To see if I could. It was a bet.”

Cozy trembled. She clutched the bell against herself, straining the cloth keeping it attached to her neck. Her horn flickered with red magic.

Huitzy gripped the spear to her side, glaring down her bruised, bloody muzzle. “I saw myself in you. If you want Equestria, it’s yours if you can claim it.” She crouched, growling as her broken leg protested. “Pry the crown off my skull, foal. I was your age when I first killed a pony.”

Cozy took a deep, shuddering breath as her horn flared.

And then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fell onto her side with a squeak.

Huitzy frowned, then flipped the spear around and poked the filly with the spear butt. Cozy rocked slightly from the touch, but was not roused. The last alicorn standing snorted in derision. “Mediocre.”

Oh, thank Crom, Luna prayed.

Huitzy spun the spear back around and jabbed the sharp point downward at the filly’s throat.

“Sister!” Luna flung herself against the bubble.

The point gently cut the ribbon attaching the bell to Cozy’s neck, then snagged the bell by the large crack running through it. “What?” Huitzy snapped. “I wanted her in Tartarus, not dead. Stop being dramatic.”

Huitzy tied the bell to the charred remnant of her mane with a quick flash of her horn, leaving it hanging forlornly. The oppressive heat in the cave faded as the amulet of the sun around her neck ceased to glow. Luna breathed in as more magic returned to her; her mane sparkled and began to blow in a non-existent breeze.

Discord perked up as color returned to him. He turned, desperate, pleading eyes to Luna before risking a look at her sister. “H-hello, Celestia.”

Huitzy snorted. “Trying to be the hero and make up for Tirek?”

“Uh,” Discord pulled on an invisible collar. “Yes?”

The sun alicorn made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat, then stabbed Xiuhcoatl forward and popped his bubble. The Lord of Chaos fell apart on the floor, then the pieces wiggled back together and reassembled themselves. He hunched over, refusing to meet her unbruised eye.

“Discord became aware of the threat and alerted me,” Luna attempted to lie. Her sister bobbed her head in acceptance. “We think Chrysalis must have broken the others out of Tartarus.”

“Bah!” Huitzy snorted. “Should’ve hunted her down in the wastes instead of tending to court the last time.”

“I doubt she’ll be a problem anymore,” Luna said dryly.

Huitzy grumbled something, then twisted around to her sister.

Discord sighed in relief.

The alicorn abruptly twisted back and jabbed the spear low. “133!”

He yelped and covered himself as the spear point stopped too close for comfort.

Huitzy whinnied with a booming laugh. “Can’t take a prank?”

“Were you ever actually taken by my magic?” Discord asked back with folded arms.

“Of course,” Huitzy winked. She lazily slapped the spear against Luna’s bubble and popped it. Luna descended with flapping wings and landed gracefully on the floor. She eyed her sister’s injuries and winced.

“Sister…” Luna whispered.

“I’m fine,” Huitzy lied through her teeth.

Coya snorted and kicked her big sister’s broken leg. Impressively, Huitzy only bit her tongue and breathed in raggedly. Her wing nearly dropped the spear, so she slammed the enchanted haft into the cave floor.

“Sister…” Coya started again.

“I’ve had worse,” Huitzy managed with gritted teeth.

“How many centuries ago?” Coya retorted dryly.

Huitzy plucked the spear free and limped over to the last bubble rather than reply. She twirled the spear between her right hoof and her good wing. She finally looked up at the ponies just before she popped it.

And Luna watched Huitzilopochtli become Celestia. The swagger collapsed, the wing drooped, she brought her neck back in a cringe and turned her remaining eye away as it lost all wild energy and mirth. The spear point gently tapped the bubble and the ponies collapsed into a disorganized heap before their Princess.

Starlight stood up first, followed by Rarity and Rainbow Dash, then Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack. Twilight Sparkle laid on the ground, legs straight and pointing up. Applejack rolled her over and propped her upright with a huff, waving a foreleg in front of the Princess of Friendship’s dilated eyes.

Twilight did not respond except for a series of sputtering sounds.

“Shame Spike went with Trixie,” Rainbow mumbled. “Bet he had a trick to fix her.” The pegasus flapped her wings and backed away in the air, eyeing the bloody spearpoint with nervous eyes.

Celestia watched the newspaper flutter to the ground, then dropped the spear down atop it with a clack. Her long neck bent forward in awkward embarrassment. “H-hello, my little ponies.”

Her little ponies stared up at her in varying states of incredulity.

“I suppose you have questions,” Celestia said softly. Even her voice shifted, becoming higher-pitched and calmer. There was still an undercurrent of strained tension and slight warble as she leaned less weight on her broken leg. The seven ponies stared at her, though in Twilight’s case she stared through Celestia at nothing in particular.

“I’m sorry,” Celestia apologized.

“Wait,” Rainbow rasped. She waved her forelegs through the air in a stopping gesture. “Wait, wait, wait. You had a spear this whole time?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“In storage.”

“In the Royal Vault,” Luna corrected.

“Storage,” Celestia repeated.

“Your leg is broken,” Fluttershy interrupted. “And that wound above the cutie mark needs stitches.” The pegasus shoved her way forward with her wings, staring critically at Celestia’s bent foreleg.

“I…” Celestia paused. “I reset the bone.”

“That’s not how bones work,” Fluttershy answered. She took a deep breath as her wings fluttered. “I need a medkit.” She looked around the room, now covered in dust and debris. A shaft of sunlight spilled in through the massive whole in the roof of the cave.

Fluttershy trotted to Cozy Glow and laid a wing on her head. She hummed in consideration. “She’s out cold.”

“Flutters?” Rainbow asked nervously, “uh, you’re taking this…well…”

“I’ve fully disassociated from what just occurred,” Fluttershy returned serenely. She turned a soft smile up to Princess Celestia. “I’m not even going to try to fucking deal with that beyond what I know: medical aid. You’re on your own, girls. Sorry.”

Rainbow Dash’s wings beat out of sync for a moment.

“I’m sure there’s a medical kit somewhere that Chrysalis stole,” Discord ventured as he wrung his mismatched hands. “Lemme help you look.”

“That would be wonderful,” Fluttershy smiled. Then the smile abruptly fell. “And we can talk.” Discord looked between Celestia and Fluttershy, then slowly walked into a side cave with slumped shoulders. The pegasus followed him out of sight.

“Uh…” Rainbow restarted. “Uh, o-okay. Right.” She shook her head. “Right! You’ve just been some…some kind of awesome warrior princess this whole time?”

“Not exactly,” Celestia winced.

“Why did we have to deal with everything!?”

“Less collateral,” Luna and Celestia said in unison. The sisters traded a glance.

Rainbow took in Celestia’s injuries, cringing at the clearly dislocated wing. The Princess followed her look, then leaned her head back and grabbed her wing joint with her mouth. There was an audible pop and full-body shudder from Rainbow and the alicorn.

The wing flexed stiffly. Celestia turned her head back to Rainbow with a grimace. “I’ve had a lot of practice. Never liked wings.”

“Wait,” Rarity interjected, “I thought you were a unicorn? One of Star Swirl’s students?”

“I had a horn by the time I met Star Swirl,” Celestia admitted, “and I was his student. It took me many years to properly raise the sun.”

“You were an awful student,” Luna added. “I’m surprised the Pillars still talk to you.”

“We agreed to leave our past…dalliances in the past.”

Rarity’s eyes widened. “Sweet, uh, never mind.” She sputtered for a moment. “Star Swirl? Did…did…”

“He wasn’t my type,” Celestia denied.

Pinkie hopped forward. “All these questions and nopony’s asking the obvious one!” She rolled her eyes at the others, then peered up at Celestia. “Who are you?”

Rainbow folded her forelegs and squinted. “You think she’s Chrysalis?”

“No, silly!” Pinkie said up to the pegasus. “I’m Pinkie Pie the party pony, but on the old rock farm I was Pinkamena Diane Pie, the fuddy-duddy rock farming filly.” Her bright blue eyes returned to Celestia. “So who are you?”

“I am Princess Celestia of Equestria," the alicorn sighed.

“Before that?” Pinkie asked knowingly. The alicorn thought, then began haltingly.

“I am Celeste, sole Princess of Equestria.

“I am Soleste, Queen of Equestria.

“I am Solene, Diarch of the Day.

“I am Helia, Queen of the Kingdom of the Greater Equestria.

“And I am Huitzilopochtli of the Hummingbirds, daughter of Tonacatecuhtli and Warmaster of the Earth Ponies.”

Applejack raised a brow. “You were an earth pony?”

Celestia nodded.

The earth pony glanced at Luna.

“Nay,” Luna shook her head. “I was born a pegasus named Coyolxauhqui. We are only half-sisters—”

“We are sisters,” Celestia spat with sudden heat. Her ears pinned back. “I’m sorry. We are sisters. We have been from the start. There is no 'half.' I did not proclaim it atop the corpses of Platinum’s mages for it to be undone with semantics. I promised.”

Luna suppressed a smile.

“Excuse me?” Rarity blinked. “I’m…wait…how old are you?”

“Four calendar systems and Discord’s reign leaves time unreliable,” Luna explained. “I was born twenty-one years before the Hearth’s Warming; my sister is six years my elder.”

“You fought Platinum?” Applejack snorted. “That ain’t in the play.”

“No,” Celestia said flatly.

“And isn’t Helia a myth?” Pinkie asked. “She’s from Trot and Odyssey’s Adventure. The Flank—”

Luna drew a wing across her throat from behind Celestia, rapidly shaking her head.

Pinkie, for once in her life, did not finish that thought. “Grannie Pie read me that as a filly. It’s a classic.”

“Trot was real,” Celestia sighed. “Chrysalis impersonated me and led the city to ruin. It took a long war to destroy her brood, and a longer trip home as Discord ravaged the land. That is how we found the Elements, and much of Old Equestria passed into legend.”

“So,” Applejack clicked her tongue. “How much of history is a lie?”

“Things occurred as they were written,” Celestia retorted. “But it was not the whole story.”

“That’s lying.”

Celestia squeezed her eye shut. “Tell me, is the tale of Hearth’s Warming improved by knowing Platinum was a slaving bitch out to claim all earth ponies as her property? That Hurricane only ceased his raids after we killed enough of his warriors?”

Her voice turned mirthful. “That he challenged me to a wrestling match to soothe his wounded pride that led to a bedroll?”

“You and Commander Hurricane were lovers!?” Rainbow abruptly squealed.

“No,” the alicorn snorted, “I fucked him. There’s a difference.”

Rarity nodded in agreement, though fur paler white than usual.

“So Hearth’s Warming was a bunch of junk!” Starlight scoffed.

Celestia turned her piercing eye on her. “The Windigoes were real. But we only negotiated after we bloodied each other to the brink of destruction in falling snow and cold winds. It was meant to be a tale of hardship and hope, not death. Let alone what we did to preserve that peace afterwards.”

“I poisoned Chancellor Puddinghead,” Luna revealed. “And poisoned Pansy’s blade when Hurricane dueled her for the fate of the Armada. She never knew how her timid cut killed him, and the guilt left her bereft for the rest of her life.”

Starlight wilted back down.

Celestia turned to Applejack. “Yes. I lied. I lied about much in hopes that my sister would return to a world that was truly what she always dreamt of. An Equestria that had left its past behind and all were welcome to love. I could not build it as Huitzy or Helia…so I built it as Celestia.”

Luna’s ears flattened. “Sister, I never asked you—”

“You asked me many times,” Celestia countered softly. “I was often too drunk or…otherwise occupied to listen. It was only after I lost you to my stupidity that I truly heard your voice. I’m so sorry, sister.”

Luna approached Celestia and nuzzled her. She nuzzled the bruise and black eye, and accidentally got blood all over her blue fur. Both alicorns pulled back with winces.

“Most ill-thought,” Luna admonished herself.

“Yes,” Celestia agreed.

Applejack groaned. “Alright, I…ugh.” She flapped her burnt hat atop her ponytail. “Hayseeds and horseshoes, can’t rightly condemn sisterly love. Even if it’s built on a foundation of dishonesty.”

“I’m sorry,” Celestia apologized again.

Applejack and Pinkie shared a look between them. “You were an earth pony?” Pinkie asked in confirmation.

Celestia nodded with a frown.

The two earth ponies hoofbumped, then Pinkie threw her forehooves up. “Yes!” she whinnied. “Aw, yes! Representation!”

“You coulda said something,” Applejack admonished. “Thought you were both unicorns, or born alicorns, or some weird shit like that.”

“Once I realized the unicorns thought I was always one of them it was easier to say nothing,” Celestia admitted. “You know how hornheads are.”

“Don’t I know it,” Applejack said wryly. Her muzzle turned serious. “You gonna say something before you retire. Give earth ponies a win. Do that, and I'll forgive and forget about everything else.”

“Thank you,” Celestia accepted.

“Come on, Pinks,” Applejack nudged Pinkie. “Let’s subdue little miss wannabe alicorn.”

Pinkie withdrew a length of rope from her mane and a pair of hoofcuffs. She winked up the Celestia. “You’re cooler now that I know you’re not a virgin.”

“You thought I was a virgin?” Celestia grimaced. “I don’t seem like a virgin, do I?”

Luna wiggled her wing. “I thought having an all-stallion guard force at the castle that you never indulged in was some sort of self-flagellation.”

“Like the Tantabus?” Celestia scowled.

“A fair riposte,” Luna stated gracefully. Pinkie giggled while Applejack quickly trussed up Cozy Glow and set the filly between them. She remained unresponsive and breathing shallowly.

Celestia turned to Rarity. “I greatly enjoyed your dress and I owe you another.”

“I have seven,” Rarity responded absently. She refocused. “You truly liked it?”

“I did. I am slightly concerned how you acquired my measurements.”

Rarity danced on her hooves and ignored the implicit question. “Oh, perhaps I should be upset that you just confessed to several murders and lies, but you like the dress so I really don’t care.”

“I may have destroyed it in a drunken rage this morning.”

Rarity waved a hoof. “Happens to all of us.” She gasped. “Oh! Does the Prince need anything? I’d love to work with a stallion.”

Celestia grimaced. “We’re divorced.”

“Permanently,” Luna quipped. “No chance of reconciliation.”

“What a shame,” Rarity sighed theatrically, “but that’s stallions for you. I’m going to rub my horn in Applejack and Pinkie’s affairs, like a proper hornhead.”

“I apologize for the remark,” Celestia cringed.

“You have a horn; you can say it.” Rarity flipped her somewhat disheveled mane and sauntered off, humming a bridal tune. She slowed as she passed Luna, eying her like a manticore eyed a steak. Luna ignored the look. I could use a few dresses for the theatre.

Luna looked to the amulet around her sister’s neck. “May I ask about the other thieves?”

“Corporal Long Spear preformed ably in their apprehension,” Celestia answered. “Two are in custody with only a dozen broken bones between them.”

“There were three.”

“The unicorn named ‘Enigma’ decided she wanted a fight.” Celestia did not elaborate.

“Okay,” Rainbow huffed again. “You were some kind of badass. I still don’t understand why we had to deal with all that crap.”

“Tirek fell outside,” Celestia responded. “Thankfully, the fight was away from populated areas and ponies were either drained of magic or love so they didn’t see their Princess stab a several stories tall centaur in the balls.”

“Why did you go for the balls?” Luna sighed.

“His fault,” her sister snorted, and a drop of blood fell from her nose. “Should have worn armor there.”

Rainbow unwisely took the bait and flew out through the hole. Ten seconds later, she retched into the hole to the nickers of disgust from her friends. She wavered back into the cave with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Celestia apologized again.

“Woah,” Rainbow choked out. “Yeah, okay. I kinda wanted to know all the messed-up secret history, but was it all like that?”

Luna perked up. “It's not even secret history. When we went on our vacation, turns out the Cavern of Darkness is the mouth of a giant rockworm. Took Celestia a day to stab us a way out. She used to be able to do that in an hour.”

“Should’ve brought the spear,” Celestia grumbled. “Had to wash off in an underground river.”

“It was your idea to go there in the first place.”

Rainbow waved her forelegs. “You know what? I’m a stupid pony. I’m happier not knowing.” Her stare twitched. “Actually, which Pillars—”

“All of them except Star Swirl,” Celestia answered.

“At…at once?”

“Over time.”

Rainbow landed and deftly stepped over her vomit. “I’m gonna go check on Discord and Flutters. She’s probably done yelling at him.”

Celestia’s muzzle quirked as best it could with the bruising. “For what?”

Rainbow froze.

“For his terrible plan to stop the Legion of Doom,” Luna said smoothly. “Truthfully, I was no better.”

“Right,” Rainbow laughed awkwardly. “That’s totally what I meant.” She trotted towards the side cave at a quick canter.

Starlight stayed next to her mentor. Princess Twilight, missing all regalia, still pet her tail with twitching eyes. The light purple unicorn seemed to struggle with what intensity of glare to give Princess Celestia, or if she should even look her in the eye. Celestia cleared her throat with a cough.

“I am slightly disappointed that your imagined evil version of me is simply a rip-off of Nightmare Moon.” She dipped her head. “I still thank you, Starlight Glimmer. You taught me lessons I still unfortunately needed to learn.”

"Our sisterly conflicts have diminished in time," Luna agreed, "but they still needed addressing. Thank thee."

Starlight blushed. “I, uh, thanks. Can…can I ask something?”

Celestia waited.

“We traveled through alternate timelines because of my…uh…”

“You should have asked Sunburst to pin you to a table.”

“We’re just friends!” Starlight yelped unconvincingly. “That’s all that was! But I never saw…uh, a Celestia like you.”

“Did you speak with many of me?” Celestia asked.

“Uh, none.”

“I figured. If they had my history, they would have killed you where you stood for your folly.”

Starlight gulped.

“I would ask that you intercept your friend and reassure her that Equestria is saved,” Celestia requested. “And perhaps Captain Sentry as well. Princess Cadance will only croon 'I told you so.' She always sensed the conflict in my heart and encouraged me to 'live a little.' I'm sure this wasn't what she was thinking of, however.”

The unicorn vanished with a snap, leaving a near-catatonic Twilight alone. Luna sensed the ponies in the cave stop and look between the Princess and her Faithful Student. Celestia bit her lip and limped forward.

“Don’t touch me,” Twilight finally hissed. She recoiled back from the other alicorn with twitching wings. Her horn sparked and a shield descended around the three alicorns, cutting off the outside world.

Celestia shut her eye. “I’m sorry, Twilight.”

“For what?” Twilight spat. Her voice shook. “That all of history is a lie?” A hoof stabbed at the spear next to the bloody alicorn’s hooves. “T-that’s the Staff of the Sun Serpent. Or it should be. What’s the real name?”

“Xiuhcoatl,” Celestia whispered.

“A dead language. The oldest language in Equestrian history. Whatever that means.” Twilight laughed, and it descended towards a sob before she recovered. “What about that amulet? A gift from King Darius. Is that true? It obviously does more than sunny days.”

“I killed him when he attempted to invade Equestria after Luna’s…” Celestia trailed off. “His death meant peace and a long-lasting relationship with the minotaurs. In time, we chose to forget and be friends again.”

“Or course!” Twilight’s voice pitched higher. “Of course! Did everything for your sister! The Princess is a crass, violent murderer. Can’t have that! What would ponies think?”

Celestia said nothing.

“You sent me after her!” Twilight hiccupped. “Make some friends? Why? Didn't want to take your spear and—”

Luna looked away.

Twilight jammed her mouth shut, but restarted at Luna. “A-and you k-knew! About all of it! I thought you were my friend!”

“I am your friend,” Luna said, pained.

“Friends don’t lie!” Twilight screamed at her. She turned the wild glare to Celestia. “Teachers don’t lie! Books don’t lie!” The purple alicorn wept into her hooves. “W-why?”

“Because I’m an awful Princess,” Celestia sighed. “And I made you one so you could be better than me.” Twilight looked up with tears in her eyes. Her sobbing made snot trail from her muzzle.

“Luna talked me into it,” Celestia whispered. “I was never that good at it, not even after a thousand years of really trying. You and your friends still taught me lessons I would have never learned on my own.”

“I saw you banish your sister,” Twilight mumbled. “You were a good Princess.”

“But I was a shit sister,” Celestia retorted. Her eye turned glassy. “‘Luna, it is your duty,’ right? I thought she was fucking around with me at first. Our relationship was long destroyed before that night.”

Twilight huffed. “You taught me to never say any of those words.”

“I thought it was improper in a nicer land.”

Twilight summoned all her strength. “You’re a bitch.”

“Yes,” Celestia chuckled. Her wing jittered and she breathed in sharply.

“Sister?” Luna frowned. “Ribs?”

“A few are cracked,” Celestia gasped out.

“H-how are you even standing?” Twilight stuttered. She stared up at Celestia’s swollen-over eye and bruised muzzle. Her own muzzle twisted in concern, then indignation, then shame at her own feelings.

“I’ve had worse,” Celestia tried. Both uninjured alicorns gave her a flat look. “Fine. I’m running on sheer adrenaline and I downed a keg of the strongest beer I could steal to deal with the hangover. The adrenaline is starting to wear off.”

“Do you e-even like tea?” Twilight sniffled.

“I acquired a taste for it after three centuries of forcing myself to drink it,” Celestia nickered. “I traded vices. Alcohol for tea, and cake for…uh, well…the pleasures of flesh.”

"You eat a lot of cake," Twilight hiccupped.

"I had a lot of fun when I was younger."

“Those are hardly healthier vices, sister,” Luna stated with a toss of her head.

Twilight closed her eyes. “I don’t like looking at you like this. I don’t know if I want to hug you or hit you. My heart hurts.”

Celestia shut her eye and a tear trailed down the dried blood. “I’m sorry. It’s pathetic that it’s all I can say, but I am.”

“Was I just a r-replacement to you?”

“No,” Celestia vowed with sudden heat. “Never. You were never my replacement. You were always my successor and better. I never doubted you.”

Twilight’s muzzle twitched as she sniffled.

“I am proud of you,” Celestia whispered.

“Who’s saying that?” Twilight asked. “Which one? Helia? Soleste? My teacher?”

“Me,” Celestia answered simply. "I've always been me."

Luna laid a wing against her sister’s undamaged wing and looked to Twilight with clear regret. Twilight looked back with apologetic eyes. There was a long silence.

Finally, Twilight shuffled over and nuzzled Celestia's unbroken foreleg. Only slightly, because it was still bloody and covered in dust. She looked up and saw Celestia's smile; the same smile she had given her for years.

"T-thank you," Celestia stuttered through a closed eye.

“I can’t believe you got drunk enough to marry some random earth pony,” Twilight abruptly snorted. “I never got that drunk in my life.”

Celestia opened her eye. “You drink?”

“You think I write friendship reports about that?” Twilight half-chuckled. “Of course I drink. I lived in a library where nopony checked out books. You know how many Ponyville ponies actually like reading?”

Celestia blinked.

“The castle has fourteen self-stocking bars,” Twilight deadpanned. “Harmony apparently agrees with alcohol. I could host the most debauched post-coronation party in Equestria’s history.” Her muzzle turned sour. “Known history, I guess.”

“Ours was not that bacchanalian,” Luna denied. “I won the coin flip and organized it.”

Twilight took a deep breath. “I want to know. All of it. Every detail. And I’ll decide what Equestria should know.”

“Equestria was built on a foundation of hope and friendship,” Celestia said. “That was always true. I didn’t want the message muddled by all the violence in between.”

Twilight nodded, then visibly hesitated. “D-did you have to kill Tirek and Chrysalis?”

Celestia opened her mouth, then closed it and thought about her answer. “No,” she finally said in defeat. “I didn’t need to. I wanted to. It was a close fight, but I could have subdued them in other ways.”

“I’d be mad but I helped kill Sombra twice,” Twilight grimaced. “Guess they can’t hurt anypony anymore.”

“I didn’t kill Chrysalis,” Celestia stated. Her eye wandered. “She escaped.”

“Again?” Luna nickered. “Sister, I see the green blood on your teeth.”

“I bit her.”

“H-how…”

Celestia mumbled something.

Luna scowled harder.

_{“Chicken…”}

Luna threw up her forelegs and reared in annoyance. “Sister, we have to deal with this absurd phobia!”

“I couldn’t be afraid of you so I pushed all the emotions onto that!” Celestia snapped back. Her eye widened in horror.

Luna shrunk down and bit her lip. It took her several moments to respond. “Truly?”

“If I had been a better sister that night—”

“The seeds had long been planted,” Luna denied. “Think no more of that.”

"It's all I thought about for a millennia," Celestia sighed. "I suppose I internalized all my guilt atop it as well."

Twilight waved her wings. “Uh, wow. Okay. You two are really f-fu…fucked up.”

The two elder alicorns quailed in unison. “Yes,” the sisters agreed in sync.

“I…” Twilight raised a hoof to her chin and tapped it. “I was worried about being a Princess and living up to the legacy, but honestly? This is such an unmitigated disaster that I can’t possibly do a worse job.”

“I’m glad my failures give you confidence,” Celestia coughed.

Luna glared towards the side cave. Glad your plan ‘worked’ Discord.

“You divorced your husband?” Twilight raised a judgmental brow. “And is ‘divorced’ a euphemism?”

“Yes and yes.”

“He was part of a plot to steal the Amulet of Ra,” Luna supplied. “Celestia being drunk enough to marry the first pony that was remotely amusing to her proved to be an unexpected wrinkle."

“Ugh,” Twilight grunted. “Well, maybe for the best. This is going to be Tartarus to clean up.”

Celestia paused. “I…I don’t follow.”

“I am not being coronated as sole ruler with a nation half-mad that Princess Celestia murdered a bunch of ponies and married a random loser,” Twilight huffed. “We’re cleaning this up.”

Luna tilted her head. “How?”

“Chrysalis kidnapped Celestia and impersonated her during the Gala and afterwards to weaken Equestria’s resolve,” Twilight said with confidence. “Then, Celestia escaped captivity and rescued us while the Legion of Doom turned on each other in an apocalyptic, violent battle.” She gave Luna a knowing look. “I am sure Discord will be willing to do corpse disposal.”

“Twilight, that’s incredibly deceptive,” Celestia admonished.

The purple alicorn glared up at her with a look of pure affront and indignation. “I said I’d decide what Equestria should know. Not dealing with this. Step one on my Princess checklist is a smooth transition of power.”

She stared outside the shield to the bundled up Cozy Glow. “I’m sure Cozy will go along with the story and a nice reformation to begin my reign. Or I could leave Xiuhcoatl laying around next to a picture of Tartarus.”

Celestia breathed in raggedly again. “I’m…where did you read—”

“Marechiavelli,” Twilight ruminated. “Wasn’t required reading when I was your student, but boy does she make more sense after today. I guess that's why you sponsored her back then.”

Celestia sputtered and focused on breathing with cracked ribs.

Luna smirked. “Fair Princess, you appear to have things well in wing.”

“No,” Twilight shook her head. “First, get Fluttershy to splint that leg and then get Princess Celestia medical help for all her injuries.”

The sun alicorn smirked painfully. “I assure you—”

Twilight stomped on her broken leg and fired a sleep spell into the taller alicorn’s muzzle when she collapsed in pain. The alicorn fell to the floor with a heavy thump before Luna even registered what occurred. Celestia’s eye rolled back into her head.

“Sister!” Luna gave Twilight a horrified look.

The purple alicorn picked up the bloody white alicorn and set her on her other side. Celestia’s breathing steadied. “Did you want to knock her out?” Twilight asked idly. “Sorry.”

Luna’s muzzle scrunched in anger. “That was entirely uncalled for!”

“She wasn’t going to go to a doctor.”

Fuck, she’s right. “Still!”

“And Celestia being critically injured saving Equestria’s heroes runs better with the press,” Twilight continued. “Also gives us a chance to clean her up so she’s less…bloody.”

Luna stepped back. “Did you just think all this through?”

“Yeah,” Twilight waved a wing. “I think fast. Are you onboard?”

“What happens if I say no?” Luna raised a brow.

“I bother you for all the historical revisions because you were there for a lot of them,” Twilight threatened. “And you’re probably a better source because you weren’t drinking or fucking through most of known history.”

Luna glimpsed a future of being hounded by scribes with purple stars on tall hats: a literary inquisition that would even infest the dreams of the world. Her wings shuddered. “Nay, We are ‘onboard’ with the plan.”

“Good,” Twilight smiled. Her horn glowed and the shield fizzled into sparks. She stood just as a thoroughly chastised Discord, Fluttershy, and Rainbow emerged with several medical kits from ‘Chaos Incorporated.’ Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity sat beside a barely conscious Cozy Glow. Luna tossed the spear over to them, and Pinkie snatched it up with glee and waved it around at the terrified young pegasus.

“Listen up, ponies!” Twilight called out. “Here’s the plan…”

Luna listened, mute and numb, as Twilight Sparkle thoroughly planned out how to deceive Equestria off the tip of her hoof. Her friends nodded along as they tended to Celestia’s injuries under Fluttershy’s watchful eye. Discord vanished after summoning a yellow full-body hazmat suit with nary a complaint and several worried glances at the unconscious Celestia as 'Grogar' was mentioned with increasing derision.

The group broke after ten minutes. Twilight had removed the Amulet of Ra and wore it herself, keeping the magic nullified. The spear sat beside her, planted in the rock for safe-keeping. The Bewitching Bell was wrapped in the newspaper announcing Celestia's sudden marriage.

“Princess Luna?” Princess Twilight asked aloud. “Do you mind taking Princess Celestia to Canterlot General? Please stick to the script.”

“The script where I scream about Chrysalis?” Luna licked her lips. “That…”

Twilight glowered at her and began listing historical events on the back of one of Cozy’s drawings. She used the red crayon. The glow of her horn lit her eyes from above in the dark cave.

Crom, sister wanted a better successor and she fucking got one. Luna nodded rapidly. “Have no fear! We art a patron of the uh, arts!” Her horn glowed and she snapped away with a heavily bandaged Celestia atop her back.

The electric jolt woke the elder sister up. Luna felt her shift around and move her stiff, splinted foreleg. They reappeared in the lobby of the castle due to Canterlot General being overstuffed with fallen reporters. Celestia lifted her head; her mane had begun to slowly drift strand by strand, but it would be a long process before it regained its full power.

“Whuzzat?” Celestia drooled. “Did…did my s-student knock me o-out?”

“Yes,” Luna responded quietly. She affected a panicked look as the guards around the lobby registered the two missing princesses reappearing in ash and dried blood. “Play along,” she said out of the side of her muzzle.

“To the infirmary!” Luna belted out to the crowd. She galloped forwards before the guards could panic. “Mine sister hath been seized by the foul Chrysalis before the Gala!” Ponies gasped and whinnied.

“I knew she was acting weird!” a stallion called out.

“The Princess would never do that!” another guard cried.

“Of course the Princess would never marry an earth pony!” Blueblood snorted.

“Shoulda blasted him…” Celestia mumbled.

Luna carried her sister through the castle; Celestia’s legs nearly dragged on the floor and the younger sister audibly huffed. “I w-wish you just s-slept with the guards l-like a normal pony instead of gorging on c-cake.”

“It’s weird I’m like their mom to them.”

“I see their d-dreams.”

Celestia laughed slightly, though it was more a breathy wheeze. “Twilight h-hit me. She’ll b-be a good Princess.”

“She will,” Luna smirked. She turned a corner and galloped with a herd of guards trailing her.

“T-there’s more m-me in there t-than I thought.” Luna could hear Celestia’s smile. “I’ll let her have Xiuhcoatl. S-show her how to swing at Seaward Shoals.”

Luna skidded to a halt at an intersection. She glanced over her shoulder. “Sister, are you sure?”

“She might need it.”

Luna reached the infirmary. “For who? Chrysalis?”

“That bug is mine. Twilight c-can kick Opaline’s ass if she comes b-back.”

Comments

[Forcalor]

Ah, that was an amusing and wonderful read. Thank you for that.
I very liked seeing competent Twilight in the end, with all of build up it felt almost like a plot twist
Loved the language, strict but descriptive enough to send all needed emotions across.

[Savant Sentral]

thanks for this. It's a shame nothing came of Jungle Trek, he was my favorite

[Screw]

Out of all the "Celestia is badass" stories, this is far more entertaining and extremely well paced. It doesn't devolve into Celestia explaining why she did nothing during the course of the show, but rather, it doesn't need to due to your expert portrayal of her character.

Very nice work, Wordsmith!

I believe Discord's magic might have something to do with Celestia's multiple 'personalities'. Almost like a co-conscious dissociative identity disorder.

[StarzGecko]

I don’t like that Jungle didn’t come back for this last chapter. Sure, it was wild chapter seeing Celestia being her old self but I guess I over imagine about what could happen next chapters not thinking it would end so soon. At least thank you for the story at least.

Good for Cozy to survive. Hope she’ll stay safe

[_R_E_D_A_C_T_E_D_]

Question. Is this, Flurry Heart is Evil and Daydream part of the same Indigo Extended Fanfiction Universe?

Also I really want to see Twilight beat up (impale?) Opaline with Celestias spear.

[UnknownError]

11663236
There's no multiple personalities. Dig beneath the surface, Huitzy is still recognizably Celestia. She likes pranks and quips, but is a little more mean-spirited about it. She made a titanic effort to improve as a person a thousand years ago, but she's still her. (Just more out of shape.)
11663472
The stories aren't connected. I would be way more blatant if they were.
11663368
Yeah, the story stretched out. It was originally a parody of the "Celestia marries a random pony on accident" and "Celestia was a warlord" fics that drift around. That's not a good combination of Celestias. Her and Jungle Trek actually did click a bit; the relationship could have worked out...

...if he had fessed up what really happened before he got cornered. Celestia was hungover, humiliated, and poor Jungle made one comment too many that finally made Huitzy go back to basics.

[duckmagee]

personally i think this ending ruined this story for me, i would have rather it been it own story without adding villain trio or Maine six and focused more on jungle Trek and celestia relationship while hunting down the thief's while dragging jungle Trek along, they had fun chemistry, and it would be more interesting then throwing jungle Trek into tartarous, feels wasteful after building him up all this time. overall a good story

[TCC56]

“I’ve fully disassociated from what just occurred,” Fluttershy returned serenely.

Yeah, that's the wise course of action Flutters. Excellent life choice.

A wonderful and fun story. Thank you for sharing it.

[CharonX]

A thoroughly enjoyable and very entertaining read. Seeing "Huitzy the Barbarian" in action was a real treat. And yeah, Twilight is scary...

[AzureShade]

excellent story

[UnknownError]

11663642
Very late reply, but this story was always intended as a misdirect from the "Celestia marries a random pony due to contrivance" crowd. (Hence the lack of a Romance tag.) It's definitely not my finest work; I expanded it beyond the initial 10,000 words and struggled to make some of the connective tissue fit, but I always intended the swerve with poor Jungle Trek.

Barbarian Huitzy and Jungle were this close to having a good moment. As Luna laments, if he had fessed up once it was clear she was too drunk to remember what happened, her sister would have been fine with him. They would've gotten along. But he was caught in a lie and kept the lie going until she realized it herself, and unfortunately for Jungle Trek the trip down memory lane opened up some other avenues that Celestia would normally never consider.

Which leads to a fully off-the-rails finale.

[duckmagee]

11670810
Fair enough, it your story it ends how you decide, guess I just didnt want the ride to end, perhaps if he been honest when he was caught, it might changed things either way he go down as a legend, he seduced married princess in a single night then got divorced and sent to tartarus before the honeymoon was over, this they say why celestia always single

[Yo Mommy so fat]

Beware Its Bite

i.postimg.cc/43nHk6Xt/Beware-Its-Bite.jpg

[CopperTop]

Intended as a parody or not, this was a very fun story to read! Don't know if poor Jungle Trek really deserved to go out like that; but the idea that an older and more brutal Celestia, born of a more brutal time, being just one particularly bad hangover away from emerging from beneath the carefully crafted lie she'd built for herself over the last thousand years is an interesting one to me. There was a very The Doctor "Good men don't need rules"-esque vibe going on there and I kind of liked it.

Also a neat little reimagining of The End of the End to fit with the story, and a nod to G5 to boot!

Now I'm left wondering if Opaline is/was that "third sister" that Huitzy and Coya mused about existing before attacking Platinum...

[Killer20]

This is one of those rare reads that you finish and go: 10/10 Story, Literally NOTHING Wrong with any of it!

Loved EVERY SINGLE SECOND of this!!