Honeymoon Phase

by UnknownError

Soleste is Quite Sauced

"Princess!" Sergeant Nocturne whinnied. "Watch out!" The night guard’s eyes were wide and terrified, and for a moment Celestia wondered why. She blinked at him from the side of her right eye.

And crashed horn-first into a display. Her sharp horn pierced the glass and overpowered the wards, slicing through the defense like it was a slice of velvet cake. Celestia reared her head back, sending her braided mane whipping across her head.

The heavy pink locks whipped around and knocked the exposed vase off its pedestal. Prince Jungle Trek stepped clear of the chaos, having tried to redirect his wife away from the collision-course. Celestia only then realized the faint shoves against her barrel for the past minute were from her husband attempting to nudge her out of the way.

The vase tumbled to the ground as Long Spear drove fruitlessly towards it, hooves outstretched as if gauntleted hooves would cushion pottery. Mercifully, he failed. Celestia noted the swirling tattoo extending from his greaves; it was a black rose inked into the fur with the name Daisy spelled out on the petals.

Celestia knew for a fact it wasn’t regulation and would have to be covered up, overpowering the enchantment that made the guards look similar. The earth pony winced as his dive came up short, skidding across the hallway floor just a hoof away from the shattered clay.

The vase didn’t make the traditional sharp sound when it broke; it was a rather limp affair of broken pottery. And it was thoroughly destroyed, not even close to resembling the elegant and ornate hourglass shape it held but a moment ago.

The hallway was silent as the four ponies stared at the shards. Jungle Trek started forward and his eyes roamed over it. “Was, uh, that one valuable?”

“Everything in this hallway is valuable,” Celestia said down to him from the side of her muzzle. She scanned over the pieces. Sergeant Nocturne looked under his Princesses’ legs to survey the trail of carnage she had left in the hallway, then looked over his withers to the kitchen door less than ten hooves away. His ears pinned back in distress.

Celestia thought of Odyssey glaring at her in the surf before the Wooden Pony. She chuckled, voice hoarse and broken. “Reconsidering you career choices, Sergeant?”

His mouth flapped open. “I…uh, your highness, of course not, but—”

“Lead on,” Celestia waved a wing, sweeping it over the wrecked display. She opened her eyes fully for the first time since she left the bedroom, and it was doubtlessly terrifying from Spear and Nocturne’s synchronized flinch. The alicorn looked over the wrecked display case for a large enough piece of glass to see her reflection.

One red eye stared back at her. Her normally soft, kind magenta eyes had been replaced with bloodshot, piercing orbs ringed red from blood vessels. She blinked again and it only looked worse as a shaft on sunlight from the windows made her squint.

I look like shit.

Prince Jungle Trek whistled. “W-woah.”

“P-princess…” Long Spear muttered. “T-that w-word is b-banned.”

“Oh,” Celestia sighed. “Said that one out loud, huh?” She smacked dry lips. “Well, it’s unbanned. Feel free to try it out.”

“I…” Sergeant Nocturne paused. “It…passing laws doesn’t work like that…”

“Sure it does,” Celestia huffed. She glared down at him. “I banned it and I just unbanned it. Say it.”

The Night Guard’s lips clammed up. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his head.

“Fine,” Celestia shrugged a hoof. She set the hoof down on a piece of pottery and broke the piece into more shards. “Let’s keep going. I’ll have Rare Archive and his unicorns repair it.” She considered the pottery. “Or we’ll just shove one of the replicas up there and hope nopony notices.”

Even Prince Jungle Trek seemed taken aback by the stream-of-consciousness from his wife. He stared down at one of the larger shards. “Is this from the minotaurs?” His hoof pointed at the silhouetted minotaur standing before a sunrise. The male was hefting a battleaxe into the air, with clear rings around his horns and massive biceps.

“King Darius,” Celestia explained despite her headache. “It’s a gift from his wife after his passing. He was a good friend after my sister’s fall.” The words still come so easily.

“It’s one of the most recognized and popular artifacts by the Minotaur Kingdom to Equestria,” Sergeant Nocturne added. “P-princess, we cannot just replace—”

“I’ll write to Queen Pasiphaë that I stumbled into the vase while hungover and broke it,” Celestia whickered shortly. Her voice cracked low into a growl. “Is that better?”

Sergeant Nocturne’s bushy tail tucked between his hind legs. Celestia caught herself and forced her muzzle shut before she bared her teeth at him. “I’m…I am sorry,” she apologized. “You are correct. Rare Archive’s team will do their best, and I’ll write a letter of condolence to Queen Pasiphaë.”

The Night Guard nodded slowly.

“When I’m not hungover,” Celestia continued. “Breakfast.”

Nocturne and Long Spear froze. She strode past the two guards, only shooting Long Spear’s exposed tattoo a glance with a raised brow. The earth pony hurriedly adjusted his gauntlet to hide the flower again.

Celestia stopped after a few hooves and slowly twisted her head back when she realized her husband had not followed her. Jungle Trek still looked down at the pottery with flicking ears. His sleeves needed to be rolled up again on his rented tuxedo.

“Want breakfast, my little husband?” Celestia nickered in a rasp. The alicorn forced herself to think critically despite the headache. “Oh! Did you help the minotaurs with their undersea archipelago?”

Jungle Trek shook his head. “W-what?”

“The Cartographers Society of Canterlot,” Celestia explained with a slow frown. “We had sonar spells two years ago to help map their coral ridges.”

The Prince knocked a hoof against his pith helmet. “No use for an earth pony out there.” His long sleeve flapped for a moment before he started to roll it back.

“What caught your eye?” Despite the hornache, Celestia grabbed the large pottery chunk with King Darius and his battleaxe and levitated it up to her muzzle. Her magic popped and sizzled around her horn.

“Nothing,” Jungle Trek said quickly. “It just seems like you were pretty close.”

“We were,” Celestia said easily. “The first few years were difficult after Luna…” she trailed off and swallowed. “We were close.”

“Right,” Jungle Trek said softly. “I understand. I just—”

"Hah!" Celestia abruptly brayed with a single throaty chuckle. “We weren’t that close, my little husband. Don’t be jealous.”

Jungle Trek smiled brashly. “Of course not.” He knocked his pith helmet. “No ancient warrior king of the minotaurs can compete with me.”

Celestia rolled her eyes, then closed them as the hallway spun. Huitzy: You are still hungover. She coughed. “Well, I had a special place in his heart. Still have the amulet he gave me in storage somewhere.”

The Prince laughed slightly shrilly. “…Really?”

“Yes,” Celestia turned back towards the kitchens. She bit her chapped lip as she tried to think of the name it was now known by. “The, uh, the Amulet of Sunny Days.”

“Sounds…appropriate,” Jungle Trek said haltingly behind her. He avoided her swinging braided tail. Celestia’s long strides overtook her two remaining guards even with her uneven, wobbly gait.

“It makes sunny days,” Celestia deadpanned. “Good picnic weather.” She gracelessly shoved open the kitchen door.

“Enough games, Sun Queen,” King Darius’ voice boomed across the fallen.

Comments

[Killer20]

This Story is just Amazing!