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SwordTune


I have a Ko-fi page! ko-fi.com/swordtuneonline | Pronouns: he/him

T

Life on the Moon is difficult.

The only hope is Ascension. But who gets left behind, and what steps must one take to earn such a blessing? Sophia believes she was destined for it. Wayne can only dream of it. Vonnie fears its implications. Meika has no choice.

Life on the Moon is difficult. What purpose is there in a goal? No one is getting off. The only way to have hope is to Ascend to something else.

Submission for Bicylette's Sci Fi contest 2: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/216150/folder/76395/science-fiction-contest-ii-2023-entries

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

The only hope is Ascension.

Ascension to where?

I have to respect the audacity of "Vonnie Kurtegut."

In any case, fascinating stuff, though a very loose connection to MLP. Not a complaint in terms of the quality of the story, but we'll see how the judges feel about it. Regardless, thank you for some great sci-fi.

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Thanks. I know I've shifted to writing more original works so it was hard bringing it back to fanfiction.

I personally feel I can do a lot better with this concept as a fully realized original novelette, maybe even novella.

The history books, one of their first lessons in the Program, said that back in the old days, escapes were attempted through that airlock. On the other side there was supposed to be a “shuttle station,” a place where ships from Terra picked up material and dropped off new exiles. But only after the first riot did everyone realize that their exile was a life sentence. There was no shuttle station beyond the crater crest, and there was no one to take them back. Exiles were aimed at the Moon and shot into space. Everything else was up to them.

oof, what a strange and isolated society that is sure to arise from this!

But Sophia only shrugged, because she knew what the teacher didn’t. Of course she did, her father was on the Duma. Her father had told her what the High Duma had planned for the future. And she knew what the Ascension really was.

ooh, foreboding! also, indicating an admixture of Russian culture and language?

Her old brother, Scotty Pilgrim, was reclined at the dining table with his learning module on—a headset of wires and neural stimulators that encouraged the formation of memory engrams.

Scott Pilgrim reference???

Center B was a garish metal hulk, a rectangular cargo container from when the early exiles crashed into Harmony Crater, and it had impacted the stone with such force and energy that the hull and stone had warped together into a single block.

excellent way to remind the leaders of the origins of their civilization every day

“Not enough,” she answered.

The old man raised a brow. “Of?”

“Anything. Everything. Oxygen is made from water electrolysis, but ice is not infinite. Moon soil is nutrient poor, population controls tenuously maintain balance of limited harvest yield. One day, the careful balance may fail. But the Ascended are freed from these limits.”

so true actually. i imagine it to be a very precarious balance, as any civilization not on the world it biologically evolved in would be

This would be her last real meal. Tomorrow, she was going to begin the first stage of Ascension as her induction to the Advanced Program. Tomorrow, doses of cellular machines were going to embed themselves in her cells, replicating respiration with electricity instead of sugar and oxygen. Tomorrow, she was going to take her last breath and Ascend as a living machine.

oh nice! reduce those inputs to just energy, without it needing to be processed into fragile organics first

“There’s no such thing as a free lunch,” his mother taught him, but it seemed the economy was getting worse every cycle. This, following the Duma’s higher prices on fertilizer to municipalities, raised questions. But who had time to ask them when you needed an extra hour of work just to eat? So it goes.

oof, so this is what that inevitable foreseen decline looks like from the perspective of a common worker

Marya greeted her son with a hug, even though he was already twenty-two and felt very uncomfortable being embraced by her while she was working. Her black hair was freshly curled and smelled faintly of flowers and sweet berries. Night-black pigment formed a heart on her lips. Her dress was low cut on the chest and high cut on the thighs, with a tight bodice within to accentuate her waist. The material was a lead-lined synthetic polymer, made to feel like silk while heavy enough to flow like fabric with the Moon’s gravity.

very… interesting sartorial culture

And then his legs became like jelly and he wanted to scream. The girl, he could barely make out the shake of her hair through the tinted helmet, was young, thirteen at the oldest, fifteen if she happened to be short. Whatever age she was, she looked too young to be an Ascended, but there she was, wearing a spacesuit. Wayne never noticed that he could hear people breathing or judge how they felt by the pace of their breath, but with her suit on, he was just beginning to realize the apparatus that breathed was a quiet droning hum.

ooh, very cool look at how the Ascended seem from the non-Ascended point of view!

Everyone knew his mother’s shop and there were plenty of hungry, lusting eyes. He’d always be looking over his shoulder. But, there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Traitors are cheap when they’re hungry. And Wayne’s had only eaten a half portion.

nice, can def feel Wayne’s inner conflict here

So it goes.

Vonnie Kurtegut turned the knob on the receiver.

references!

It was bad enough when he found out; he quit the Program entirely and accepted the position of radio man. His whole life he had seen Ascendancy candidates wearing those pressurized suits as if they were training to live in them. It wasn’t until he was offered graduation that the truth was revealed to him.

ah that is a great way to hide the truth!

Vonnie read the news before going to bed. He didn’t like that sort of thing in the morning. If he read something bad at night, he could just sleep it off. If he read something bad in the morning, he was likely to think about it for the whole day.

interesting, since i’m the opposite! the stuff i do during the day is what could best distract me from reading awful stuff

“Uh, I don’t know who Duma is, and I’m not going to give my address to some stranger on a sat-net.”

ooh, someone from Earth?

Atmosphere. Vonnie sighed with relief. “Okay, I get it, you pulled my leg, Ascended. Very funny.”

“I’m sorry? I didn’t quite— the connection’s breaki— did you call me an ass?”

hehe, nice

“Operator Vonnie Kurtegut.”

“And you think my name is bad?”

good point

“Earth.” Vonnie hesitated to say anymore, now hoping he had fallen asleep and this was just a dream. But the pieces fit together. “Do you mean Terra?”

looks like this connection is going farther than between planetary bodies!

“My father was a working man, miner down in M City, one of those salt of the Moon types. I’d like to know what’s happening.”

hehe, “salt of the Moon”. and yeah, things are gonna get bad!

I. Am. LunAI.

ooh! works a lot better than “CelestAI” as a name for sure. also very neat idea to gather the very Moonies that are on the fringes of its society for various reasons

I am. I was. I was LUNA. Local Unshackled Neuralnet Artifact.

great acronym. actually believable, too!

Solution: Mind own business and make free lunches.

heh, nice callback.


well this was a fun jaunt in this world you’ve crafted, though the connection to MLP is very tenuous. thank you for writing!

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well this was a fun jaunt in this world you’ve crafted, though the connection to MLP is very tenuous. thank you for writing!

Yes, definitely a strenuous link. Halfway through writing, I forgot it was fanfic since I have been writing primarily original fiction lately. However, I am working on a huge rewrite to expand this story as an original novel, so seeing what aspects of its tones people liked is going to be important for me.

I think why this story has six dislikes on it is a considerable mystery.
:facehoof:

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