• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2020
  • offline last seen 11 minutes ago

Mockingbirb


A pony of mystery in the darkness. Or I forgot to take the lens cap off. (They/them is fine.)

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WHY did Lyra and Bon-Bon make an art film about naked girls playing chess? This film's secret, uncensored "Director's Cut" explains everything.

A fully authorized but unofficial prequel to EileenSaysHi's "Prench Art Film" (link)

Preread by: Secret Artichoke

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

Of course, the chess player who was recently accused of receiving outside assistance via vibrating technology wasn't accused of placing the technology on himself...

(I was going to post a link to a text-only informational article, but it could be argued that even that wouldn't be safe for work and would therefore be in violation of this site's rules. Search slate.com for the September 15, 2022, article titled "Everything You Could Possibly Want to Know About the Cheating Scandal Roiling the World of Chess.")

The fic speaks for itself.

This clip is not actually the anal beads game; this one happened some week earlier in possibly the stupidest format ever (the players played online, despite sitting in the same room). The famous vibrating game was a regular game.

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Well, in that case, I'm all caught up with it altogether: in my opinion, these allegations are indeed questionable to a fault; after all, no one normal, especially one so committed to the world of chess, would resort to marital aids on the path to victory.

This made me laugh.

11385309
Yeah, the anal beads thing was conceived by two guys in the chat during Eric "Chessbrah" Hansen's stream, iirc. Still,

no one normal

Hans isn't exactly the most stable individual.

https://m.

Also, why did Hans spend $1000 on Uber Eats? Because for him, every day is a cheat day.

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Wait, are y'all telling me I can cheat at chess with a buttplug? Where do I sign for this? (do people even play chess professionally in Netherlands?)

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Before WWII Max Euwe was the world champion, now two best Dutch grandmasters are Anish Giri (who's kinda a memelord) and Jorden van Foreest. There's also a prestigious chess tournament in Wijk aan Zee around January.

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Chess is very much a global sport.

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Whatever happened to keeping it T-Rated...!

Heh, okay, now I'm REALLY glad I read the original first, otherwise I would have been SO confused here!

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Your choice of words; after all, I was trying to keep it clean...

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Well, apparently that's how the guy cheats at chess...

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Even if that's the case, have some tact...

The shot cut back to Lyra and Bon-Bon scowling at each other across the table. Lyra shouted, "Fine! You think I'm using a chess computer hidden in my clothes to cheat? I'll prove you wrong! I'll play a game of chess COMPLETELY NAKED! Then people will know I'M the honest player here!"

There's something I'd not to want experience irl! :twilightoops:

Bon-Bon stammered, "Je ne...je ne pense pas...um..."

Is she just saying random nonsense or speaking another language I don't know? :applejackconfused:

"Seven minutes? They can't DO that to us! We've made a seventy-three minute piece of ART. Telling us to cut it to seven minutes...that's a CRIME. It's oppression by government authority, is what it is!"

Damn, that's long for a film around naked people playing chess! :pinkiegasp:

Bon-Bon grumbled, "For something that was edited into incoherence on very short notice, was rejected for near-continual PG-rated teenage semi-nudity, and had all its dialog improvised in a foreign language at the last minute, it was a really good movie! Truly a piece of art. I can't believe the Canterlot High School Film Festival wouldn't show it."

Which we of course know why. :ajbemused:

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There's something I'd not to want experience irl! :twilightoops:

Bon-Bon stammered, "Je ne...je ne pense pas...um..."

Is she just saying random nonsense or speaking another language I don't know? :applejackconfused:

She's speaking Prench! I hoped you wouldn't need to know exactly what she was saying, only that she was struggling to say it, but here's a translation anyway. https://translate.google.com/?q=%22Je%20ne...je%20ne%20pense%20pas...um...%22

I'm sorry if this was confusing...or should I say, "Please pardon my Prench?" :twilightsmile: :raritywink:

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I've seen worse but still enjoyed it, kinda.

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