Case Closed

by Slippin_Sweetie

The Office

Life sure has a funny way of moving us along as ponies. Some sort of force keeps us moving, whether it's the stack of bills that sends most ponies to work or a looming feeling that pushes us forward. Some people just have a fire under their hooves that makes them unable to sit still.

Personally, I have two stallions dragging me in chains to some spooky PTA meeting.

The long narrow cement walls and dim lights lead the three ponies through the security chambers where all their anomalies resided. The constant buzz of the lights and their hoofsteps echoed through the empty halls. That created an unnatural ambiance.

Creatures, big and small, even objects, would sit in the dozens of concrete cells. The Detective was rather lucky when she was accommodated in that familiar-looking office. Most anomalous ponies of interest would've killed for that position.

As the group entered the elevator at the end of the hall, Pinkamena could feel herself become uneasy. How deep underground was she? Where was she even?

Don't talk for me, but yes, I am a bit unsure about this. What if her agent boys have me somewhere where I can't escape?

The elevator ride lasted what felt like a lifetime; eventually, they would be brought up to a large office, with dozens of ponies trotting to and fro from cubicle to cubicle.

"Really getting in that nine-to-five, aren't we?" I joke.

The agents roll their eyes, tough crowd.

I'm dragged toward a set of large oak doors open to a meeting room, where I see a line of familiar faces. Flim, Flam, Maud, Dr. Hooves, Neighsay, Granny Smith, and Bon Bon sitting at the end of the table.

The illusive shadow government is sitting in a meeting room with Danish and coffee like a staff meeting at some hotel.

I can't say that I'm impressed. In fact, I'm a little bewildered by the sight.

"Aw darn it, who forgot to turn out the lights?!" Granny Smith called up, raising a clenched hoof in anger. "We're supposed to be mysterious, dadgummit!"

"It isn't necessary; she was going to find out who we were eventually." Maud's monotone voice cut in, her eyes never leaving the pink Detective. "And as for your question, I have no idea who you are."

"Yeah yeah, well, it would have been fun; it sets the mood. It's practically a tradition!" The apple farmer shot back. "And whatcha mean you don't recognize 'er? She's a clone of yer' sister!"

The gray pony slowly turned her gaze to Granny Smith, her expression not changing an iota. Granny raised her hooves and rolled her eyes in defeat, turning back to the Detective.

"You know I can't say I'm surprised with some of these picks, Neighsay, Dr. Hooves, I can even tolerate Flim and Flam being here… but Maud and Granny Smith!? Is this a joke? Have I been in a bunker for the past few days because of my sister and possible auntie, grandma twice removed, whatever!?"

"Welp, we might as well git on with it.." The elderly mare sighed as she shifted in her seat to get comfortable, sliding on a pair of glasses with lenses so thick her eyes were magnified. She picked up a document, squinting to read the small print on the page. She murmured to herself as she read through it, nodding.

"Wait a moment; we're missing somepony." Dr. Hooves stamped against the desk, "The agent who captured the anomaly in the first place. We should wait for her thoughts."

Just at that very second, Bon Bon came bursting into the room, nearly out of breath from galloping all the way to the meeting room. She wiped the sweat off of her forehead, sighing when she realized she hadn't missed anything.

"Sorry about that!" The agent gave the council a sheepish look, rubbing the back of her head. "I had some… business to take care of in Ponyville."

"Ain't no excuse; we both live in the same town!" Granny replied with a stomp, "But yah ain't missing anything, so we might as well git to it!"

"I'm a stickler for tradition, but even I find the notion of sitting in the dark completely unnecessary." scoffed Neighsay, looking down at the Detective with a severe-looking expression on his muzzle.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, please! Settle down. I can already sense a rising tension!" exclaimed Flim as he perked up in his chair.

"Indeed, which is why I say this group needs to look into getting some of our famous herbal tea!" chimed Flam.

"What rising tension?" Maud asked, despite not having even a hint of curiosity in her voice.

"ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY, SHADDUP!" I roar.

"Did I seriously get kidnapped and experimented on by you, of all people!? To what end gives you the right to poke and prod another mare's tookus!"

Neighsay rolled his eyes, "Firstly, you are not a pony. You are a clone from the Mirror Pool… Secondly, you best hold your tongue before everypony else changes their mind about releasing you."

"Wha–"

Bon Bon chuckled awkwardly and sighed, trotting over to the Detective. "I was going to tell you before this meeting, but I got a little side-tracked… This is basically a… probation hearing. I'll try and give you a good word, and hopefully, they'll let you off the hook. But I can't promise anything."

"That's exactly right!" Granny Smith replied, "Although I don't necessarily agree she's not a pony. Let's each decide that fer' ourselves, hmm?" The elder apple farmer gave Neighsay a hard, grandmotherly look before returning to business.

“So! Yer’ Pinkamena, a detective up in Manehattan?” Granny squinted at the paper, looking as if she were about to spit, "What in the hay makes you go all the way up to the big city?"

"She wanted to start a new life, ma'am." Bon Bon replied immediately, stepping forward. "After the incident–"

"Let her speak for herself; she can talk, can't she?" Granny cut her off, gesturing to Pinkamena. "Go ahead, missy. Why don't you give us your piece? I can tell you're itchin' to get somethin' off yer' chest."

"Oh, thank you, how gracious." I reply sarcastically, "Well, after watching literal clones of you turn to mist and get sent back to the mirror, I thought, "man, I sure don't want THAT to happen," and I went as far away from Ponyville as I could to get away from my past."

"But you know what? I guess I was a little naive assuming EVERYPONY would believe that I was just Pinkie Pie's doppelganger and a genetic rarity. I made the mistake of trying to start a career instead of moving to Griffinstone or Saddle Arabia."

I shot a cold look at the council sitting before me, "But let me guess, you would've just kidnapped me from either of those places, too, I bet? Not like you considered any ethical or legal codes before doing anything."

"Clearly, she is uncooperative and openly hostile toward us. Why are we even humoring this citation?" sighed Neighsay as he gave Granny an unamused glare.

"Now now, it's quite obvious that our friend here is a bit grumpy after being in containment for a few days, and I think this notion of probation is potentially fruitful for our agency and Equestria at large," smirked Flim.

"Indeed, I can only imagine how much money we'd be saving!" chuckled Flam.

"Maud, you have to recognize me… and you have to recognize this is… this… baloney!" I stamp my hooves against the table as I stare at my sister's blank expression.

"I do have to agree with Flim," Doctor Hooves interjected, "Although our intention to allow this pony slash clone freedom should be considered carefully and not a monetary decision."

"Oh please, Time Turner, like those two had anything else in mind." Granny rolled her eyes, rubbing at her forehead. "And you, Neighsay, would you be particularly pleasant after a night in the clink? I doubt it! We should judge her character by her actions, not just her words."

Maud blinked slowly before softly shrugging, "I'm sorry, but I don't. You look nothing like any of my sisters." Her expression did not hold anger or distaste or anything at all, really.

Bon Bon cringed and looked over to Pinkie, giving her an apologetic look.

I slowly smile and erupt into a fit of bubbly laughter, "Oh wait, a second…." I slowly take off my hat and coat before frizzing up my hair into a bunch of untamed curls.

"Do you recognize me now?"

"Good Celestia, she's naked!" Gasped Neighsay.

"Yowza!" exclaimed Flim and Flam.

I let out a long sigh, "Half the ponies in Equestria don't wear clothes!"

Granny Smith cocked a brow, glancing from side to side before sighing. "Are we really doin' this? Control yourselves; you ain't colts no more!"

Maud cocked her head left and right as if she were studying every detail of the pink pony before her, but she simply shrugged and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but you're not my sister." Maud's eyes burrowed past her eyes and into Pinkamena's soul as if she knew everything about her from a single glance. "But I'm sure you would be good friends."

I can't help but feel a little deflated after that. Even in her monotone and deadpan voice, I still feel my heart get torn to shreds and stamped out like it owed Maud money. I pick up my hat and coat before putting on my best smile.

"Funny how the people get in up in arms about us being "naked," so we wear clothes, right? But we also think it's in bad taste to wear nothing but socks."

You know who you are.

Dr. Hooves cleared his throat, "Gentlecolts, ladies, please… I apologize, Detective. I realize this is… quite a situation that you've been thrust into. Believe me, I've been in your situation before myself. And ponies not recognizing me… well, I understand that completely." He gave her something of a soft chuckle. "Could you believe me if I told you my name is really Time Turner?"

"Now, from the descriptions we were given, I was expecting a second Discord. But frankly, you seem like a rather reasonable equine, all things considered."

The Doctor went on, "Then again, if you caught our attention, there must be a very good reason. I'm aware of the original Pinkamena Diane Pie's abilities. Still, due to her position as an Element of Harmony and a pillar of the community, we could never take her in for questioning. It would be far too suspicious for her to suddenly disappear. That, and considering her friends and her service to Equestria, we're quite confident with her motives being for the benefit of ponykind."

"But you are… an unexpected variable. Having uncontrolled and unchecked power such as yours is incredibly dangerous. I hope you understand that we can't simply have ponies who can do such things roaming the populace unsupervised."

"It's not uncontrolled, Doctor. I have full control over what I can and cannot do. All of you are just doing this because what? You're afraid? Afraid that I might do something? Turn evil? Please, all I wanted to do was do my nine-to-five and make something for myself." I spat back.

"I'm insulted that some of you think I'm a threat to my community. Do you think I forgot who all of you are? Or I haven't heard of you? I have Pinkie Pie's memories before she went into the pool!"

"Whether or not I'm Pinkie Pie is… undetermined, but at the very least, I have mimicked enough of her traits to be trustworthy at the very least. I served and protected my community in Manehattan for the better part of five years. Kept my nose clean, or did you NOT know that and only recently find out?"

Doctor Hooves sighed and rubbed his temples, Granny Smith taking up the charge in his stead. "Listen, youngin', we know that Pinkie Pie is a good'un, and while you may look like 'er and talk like 'er, we have nothing to say you aren't a tickin' time bomb waiting to go off! Ya gotta understand there are thousands of ponies in that city. What happens if you pull a literal bomb outta yer pocket? Not much we could do about it when it's already happened, eh?"

"We just want to make sure ponies are safe," Maud replied softly, her stare never letting up. "It is our duty to everypony, especially the ones we love."

"And we appreciate that you haven't done anything yet, except cause a bit of trouble." Doctor Hooves added, giving the mare a gentle look. "But we ask that you be patient and at least allow us a few questions."

"Questions, questions, questions!" My eyes spin around my skull, "I got a question for yah. Are you ready for a blowout?" I toss a stick of dynamite out from my pocket onto the table, the fuse burning brightly.

"Somepony call security!" Neighsay shouted as he ducked for cover.

"Look out, everypony, I'm crazy! I'm unpredictable! Ouuuu ahhhh, it's almost like I'm a literal clone of the most unpredictable pony there is."

The dynamite would explode despite the fuse not even halfway burned through yet, with confetti shooting into the air and falling onto the council.

The Detective would pull a cupcake from her jacket as she began eating the pastry, "How's that for answering your questions? Oh, I know; how about you take your question and your fat flank and shove it up your–"

"I have had quite enough out of you!" Neighsay thundered quickly as he pulled himself up from his desk, lighting up his horn before shooting a spark of magic at the earth pony. It took a second for the Detective to realize he had removed her mouth.

Bon Bon groaned, plopping down on her rump to cover her face with her hooves. "You just had to do that…." She grumbled, trying to stave away the migraine that was slowly growing.

Granny Smith had ducked away when the Detective threw the stick of dynamite, only coming back up once the smoke had cleared, a military helmet strapped to her head.

"Well, that was one way to get the heart a-runnin'!" Granny chortled, resting a hoof on her stomach as she let out a long laugh. Marble Pie sat; still; she didn't flinch for a second even as she stared the stick of dynamite down.

"Well, that's certainly one way to get the point across." Doctor Hooves coughed as he climbed back into his seat, having been thrown back by the force of the explosion. He wiped soot from his face, looking up at Pinkamena.

"I am so, SO sorry!" Bon Bon began, trying to smooth things over, "She's just upset; please don't put that against her!"

I press my hooves against the area that was once my mouth as I let out a muffled growl.

Not enough chaotic magical powers or rubber chickens to get me out of this stitch, better make a move. I quickly flop into a nearby office chair before sighing through my nose.

Bon Bon scurried over and forcibly pulled Pinkamena back to her hooves, gritting her teeth. "Please stop; you're just making yourself look worse!"

Granny Smith would slam a hoof on the table and turn to Neighsay, "Consarnit, Neighsay! You know well as I that she can't explain herself if ya up 'n make her mute! Give 'er mouth back!"

Maud blinked slowly before nodding, "I'd like to ask a few questions."

Neighsay rolled his eyes as he glared at Granny, "Oh please, there is nothing more to be said, she is an uncooperative anomaly, and she needs to be contained or destroyed!"

"Mmm! Mmm!" I screech. I quickly reach into my pocket before pulling out a zipper and smacking the small piece of scrap metal before opening up my mouth again, "I never voted for you, buddy!"

"This. Isn't. A. DEMOCRACY!" snapped Neigh Say.

Everypony else looked over to Maud, staring as they waited for her response.

"Neither is it a dictatorship." Maud's calm glass eyes landed on Neighsay, her expression unreadable. But those eyes… something felt incredibly threatening about them.

Turning back to Pinkamena, the grey earth pony paused for a long moment before speaking, her voice soft.

"You claim to be my sister…." Maud paused for a brief second, "Do you remember when we were fillies? What was the one thing we did every year together that I showed you when we were young?"

I roll my eyes, "C'mon, Maud, we gave each other rock candy necklaces."

Maud raised a brow, allowing Doctor Whooves to cut in.

"I don't mean to be insulting, but what is the point behind this line of questioning? Yes, she may have the original Pinkie Pie's memories, but that doesn't mean she has any of her characters." The stallion adjusted himself in his seat, slightly worried about the possibility of another stick of dynamite or worse.

"I just wanted to see if she remembered." Maud's voice was surprisingly soft, although very few could tell the subtle difference.

"Well, that doesn't tell us much whether or not she's dangerous, considerin' Pinkie herself ain't no better," Granny replied, tapping her chin. "But perhaps it's nice to know. Hey youngin', you remember our adventure to Golden Delicious? Hehe, what a mess."

"Of course, I remember Granny; I remember everything before I was pulled from the Mirror Pool! I remember your faces, the good times, the bad times. And as for you, Doctor Hooves? You better stuff it before I stick you with a spork."

Doctor Hooves cocked a brow and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms with a slight huff. "I'm simply saying that you have the same experiences doesn't make you the same creature, or am I wrong? Clearly, you've chosen your own path in life. Otherwise, you'd simply be another party pony! Why a detective?"

"I was wondering that myself, actually." Granny snickered, side-eyeing the Doctor. "Baker, decorator, party planner, that's all I can see. But Detective?"

Maud simply mumbled, "Pinkie was always good at finding things."

"Because I knew you would've looked there. Do you think I'm an idiot? Why would I make the search easy for you?" I can't help but laugh, smiling at these fools.

Maud was right; I could find a needle in a haystack if need be, an overlooked talent of mine put to good use. That and my ability to hide in plain sight…

"Look, I wanted to help people, but in a different way, sure I'm not partying it up and saving the world, but I'm making my city, my community, a better place with my dedication to them. What more can I say or do to convince you that I'm not your enemy here?"

I raise my hooves up defensively as I place them on the table, letting out a sharp sigh, "I was doing good before you ever knew about my existence. You…you pencil-pushing bureaucrats!"

"So you knew someone was following you?" Doctor Hooves cocked a brow. "We weren't made aware of your existence until a year ago after a witness from Ponyville spotted you downtown. Who were you running from?"

"Eh, I guess I was running from Twilight, Ponyville, or I dunno, maybe there's something metaphorical junk in there." I tap my hoof against the table, "Can I go back to my job now?"

"Afraid of Twilight Sparkle?" Granny cocked a brow, "I'm guessin' cus' she made the rest of yer' kind go back into the pool, eh?"

"That makes sense," Doctor Hooves nodded to himself, "A somewhat unfounded fear because I doubt Twilight would take the time to hunt you down, but I suppose you had no way of knowing she was unaware of your escape."

The group looked amongst themselves before giving each other a short nod. Looking back down at Pinkamena, Granny Smith sighed deeply.

"We can't give yah an answer now; give us some time to… go over everything." She gave the pink mare an apologetic look. "Agent Drops, can yah take her outside? Git something to eat too; yah look famished!"

Bon Bon looked up and nodded, feeling a little uncertain as she and two guards walked Pinkamena outside.

"Well… that could have gone worse, I guess." Bon Bon sighed. "And please, don't get any ideas because we're not taking you back to a cell. After your attempt yesterday, the doors have been sealed."

I quickly shove Bon Bon, accidentally to the floor as I stand over her. But I don't care, I've had it up to here with this crap."When am I getting out of here!? This is ridiculous! Either you're letting me out, or I'll be busting out!"

Bon Bon quickly retaliated by swiping her hindlegs underneath the Detective, bringing her to the floor as well. She grappled with the mare until she was on top, glaring down at her.

"THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU, PINKAMENA!" Bon Bon roared in her face, finally having reached a breaking point. "I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE."

The agent pulled herself away before catching her breath, surprised by her own sudden anger. She turned back to Pinkamena, her glare softening but not leaving her face. Worry lines etched her forehead as she rubbed her temples. The two guards accompanying them traded looks before stepping away, close enough to intervene if needed but far enough away to not overhear the conversation.

"This is my JOB, Pinkamena." She spat, shaking her head. "Just like you want to make your community safe, so do I. That's the entire point of this organization. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you're exempt from it. And just because you do good things doesn't mean you're not dangerous! What if you were mind controlled? What if you're lying to us? We're not mind-readers!"

"So for ONCE, could you do me a favor and SHUT UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB?"

I cross my front legs as I roll my eyes, "If you wanna project and vent about your hard job, you should've just asked!" I say sarcastically.

"Sure! I'll shut up and let you go back to your little life! Not like I'm being held against my will here."

Bon Bon gritted her teeth, "You're not SPECIAL in that case! Do you know how many hundreds of ponies and other creatures we've had held here? Some of them, yes, were not necessary. But the thousands of ponies who threatened our society made this necessary."

She continued, "We've saved Equestria from threats you've never even heard of! So my apologies that we can't just have some third party running around with the abilities of a Chaos God! We already have ONE. And you causing scenes and being intentionally aggressive only makes you look WORSE! It seems to me you're trying your hardest to STAY here!"

I slowly clap my hooves, "Bravo bravo, you assisted a secret agency and are suffering the consequences of your own actions. You had a choice, and in your case, it looks like Stockholm syndrome. You were either beaten or brainwashed into helping them or blackmailed into being the long arm of Celestia's marshmallow buns."

"Do you really have no memory, or was the one thing you got from Pinkie Pie other than your looks is you forgetting everything because you're stuck in your own head?" Bon Bon shot back venomously. "When I joined, I was desperate to keep the ponies I love safe. And we have done a lot of good, far more than you have ever done, I might add. Cities, possibly Equestria entirely, might not even exist if we weren't around. The Elements of Harmony aren't the only ones protecting ponies!"

"So stop acting like you're so special!" Her eyes narrowed, "Especially when you're just a faded, imperfect copy of the real Pinkie Pie."

I raise my brow at Bonnie, a desperate plea to get me in the dirt and rubbing elbows with her. She isn't worth the time or bruises to brawl, "I'm not arguing with a mare who can't even see that she's in the wrong here. Let's just move along so you get your mandated lunch break."

Bon Bon's face went red, and without warning, she slapped Pinkamena across the face. Turning away, she refused to look at the Detective and simply trotted down the hallway, directing the two guards to stay by and keep her from wandering off.

One of the guards cringed as he approached, repeatedly glancing back toward Bon Bon before taking a position by the pink pony, leaving them in an awkward silence.

".....Is anyone gonna get me something to eat? I think someponies are hangry." I say as I drum my hoof against the ground.

Comments

[DingoAte]

Well that chapter was dynamite:D

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

I hate this chapter.

I cannot see this particular Council existing. To even have Flim and Flam part of this council after what they pulled off. Heck unlike Pink they have actually committed crimes.

and Bon Bon. the mere fact they are doing this without knowledge or permission of the reigning Princess is a big difference. Means THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW. Bon Bon you need to tell Twilight tell Celestia and Luna. this council cannot match three alicorns.

[CheshireCat19]

I hope Pinkie gets out and retaliate against them.

[Green-Venom]

Remember when in episode 100 it was revealed that Bonbon‘s organization was taken down? I’ve got an interesting feeling here…

[TheCommunistDog]

I declare bankruptcy!

[Screw]

The council lineup doesn't really make sense. I'd rather be inclined to believe if they were non-agents contracted to decide the fate of the subject.

This also sounds like S.M.I.L.E. is undermining Twilight's philosophy of "make friends, not enemies". Even more so that this organisation feels corrupt without Equestria's supervision

[Adamastos]

I'm so waiting for Pinkamena to pull Lyra and Celestia into scene just to make a point or expose the whole organization as corrupt & illegal to the public.

[Aklinstar]

"Well, that doesn't tell us much whether or not she's dangerous, considerin' Pinkie herself ain't no better," Granny replied, tapping her chin. "But perhaps it's nice to know. Hey youngin', you remember our adventure to Golden Delicious? Hehe, what a mess."

Okay, so I'm a little confused by this. Are you referring to the episode where they're trying to figure out if Pinkie is a part of the Apple family or not? If so, that occurred during season 4; the cloning of Pinkie Pie occurring in early season 3. She wouldn't have any recollection of this, unless she's lying I suppose?

Also, the name of the one they travel to meet is Goldie, not Golden. If you did in fact mean Golden Delicious, were you just adding some headcanon stuff? I have no issues with that, I was just confused because Granny Smith makes it seem like she was referring to that one episode.

Otherwise, another good chapter!

[nighters]

pinkie playing the long con against the crocked...

I wonder if It's deeper and some of these ponies are from alternates verse glimmer screwed over?

[Slippin_Sweetie]

11428662
Hey, thanks for the comment. Although me, my co-author and my editors make sure everything is coherent as possible and everything either will be explained or be elaborated on later. This was a mistake on our end and of course the addition of headcanon with the naming convention.

[hmaf43]

trixie should be in the council

[tsaukpaetra]

Someone call the real SCP organization, these kooks are ... Not.
BonBon is the most confusing. She's captured the detective. Job finished. Why is she hanging around? If she didn't want her in there, she should have let her go. What the heck?!

[Dreadnought]

I do hope you consider picking up this great story!

[Slippin_Sweetie]

11787205
In due time