August 31 – 6:01 AM
Pencil Pusher staggered up to his cubicle, relieved that the worst night of his life was finally over. As a colt, he’d briefly entertained the idea of joining the Pony Express as a messenger, but now, as he finally got a chance to rest his sore, aching wings, he was glad that his mother had browbeaten him into becoming a civil servant. Heading down to the Ponyville area had been relatively easy, since the north wind had given him quite a bit of assistance, but the same wind had made the return trip a nightmare. It wasn’t that the wind was all that strong; he was just really out of shape.
Still, the wind might have been manageable were it not for the fog. Before tonight, Pencil Pusher had never realized just how often he used landmarks on the ground to navigate his way through the skies. Yet instead of illuminating hills, valleys, streams, and rock formations, the moonlight had only offered him a vast, silver expanse that covered the land beneath him as he’d approached Cloudsdale. He couldn’t remember if the fog bank had spread that far while he was flying south, as he’d been too busy trying to get this job done as soon as possible to pay attention. He thought he could get around this problem by keeping the familiar silhouette of Cloudsdale against the night sky in view, but this offered no clues about the location of well-established updrafts and air currents. As a result, Pencil Pusher had exhausted way too much time and energy fighting against the wind, all because of a freak cloud on the ground. But that was no longer his concern, because right now all he had to do was fill out a status report, and then he’d finally be able to head back home to his modest apartment and get several solid hours of sleep.
Well, that’s what he thought, anyway.
“Penny Pincher!”
It took all of Pencil Pusher’s self-control to keep him from groaning out loud. There was only one pony in the office who got his name wrong, and that was his supervisor. “Good morning, Greg,” he said, not bothering to turn around.
Greg was a middle-aged, tan pegasus with a slight paunch and a thinning brown mane. If it weren’t for the fact that he was named after a griffon who’d saved his father’s life, there would be very little that was remarkable about him. Unfortunately, Greg seemed determined to fix this problem by becoming the most notably overbearing boss in the Department of Weather, according to his subordinates, at least.
“Glad you made it in early. It’s been busy here. There was an accident at Caligo Manufacturing last night. Some sort of new formula. Lots of fog. Not normal. Very messy.”
Pencil Pusher had no idea why Greg thought that speaking in disjointed sentence fragments made him sound authoritative, but he’d long ago figured out that this was the type of opinion best left unexpressed in his supervisor’s presence. “Yeah, I know about it.”
“Good to hear. Means I don’t have to waste time explaining things. Need you to fly over there. Apparently, they want to keep their formula secret. The lawyers say they’re probably allowed to. Doesn’t mean they can’t tell us anything, though. Long story short: higher-ups want more information. Go get it.”
“But why me? I usually just handle paperwork.”
“Understaffed today. Pony pox. Unfortunate timing, right?” Greg replied, as if that was a sufficient explanation.
“Well, I—”
“Great! I knew I could count on you.”
“But... I just got back....” Pencil Pusher said forlornly to nopony, as Greg had already rushed out of the room to head to a meeting of some sort. Well, that, or to make sure that he couldn’t hear his subordinate’s protests. Either way, the effect was the same: the grey stallion had been railroaded into doing more work.
He ran a hoof through his slate-grey mane, idly noting how shaggy it had become recently. I need to stop by the barbershop the first chance I get, he thought to himself, mostly so that he could take his mind off of that stupid fog, even if it was only for a few seconds. Pencil Pusher sighed as he gathered up his saddlebags again and flew out the door. “This is going to be a long day.”
August 31 – 6:10 AM
“The Department of Weather wants me to... um... control... no, that’s not how it went. Or is it?” Fluttershy glanced down at the crinkled piece of paper in her hooves, upon which she had hastily scrawled some remarks to make when she met up with Ponyville’s weather team to explain the situation. That was where she was headed at the moment, but she was finding it difficult to memorize a speech and fly at the same time, particularly since the former also required her to read in the dimness of the pre-dawn twilight.
The news regarding the strange fog had been a most unexpected crisis, but fortunately, Fluttershy had a time-tested method for dealing with such emergencies: find a convenient hiding place, cower, and hope that the problem miraculously resolves itself. Granted, every time this strategy had been tested in the past, it had proven to be an abysmal failure, but that hadn’t stopped Fluttershy from giving it yet another go, much to the annoyance of Rainbow Dash. The sleep-deprived weatherpony had not been pleased to find her friend quivering under a pile of blankets when she’d arrived at the cottage to discuss what was going on—apparently, Pencil Pusher had been extremely vague about the situation, and had directed Rainbow Dash to the resident fog specialist for further information.
Fluttershy had managed to get a temporary reprieve at the time, telling Rainbow Dash that she hadn’t yet read the initial report in its entirety (which conveniently gave her a chance to start reading it). That, however, had only postponed her reckoning for a little more than two hours, as she was now expected to brief the entire weather team at sunrise—and if the pink skies to the east were any indication, she’d have to hurry, or risk being late. Folding her notes once again, Fluttershy flapped her wings as fast as she could, which, despite the strength training she’d taken up since the previous year’s Tornado Day, still wasn’t particularly fast. That said, she at least wanted to reach the meeting place Rainbow Dash had told her about before the sun’s heat made the already-muggy morning unbearable. Oh, dear, Fluttershy thought to herself, the humidity’s actually pretty bad today. That could be a problem. She knew that the fog bank wasn’t behaving normally, but she was pretty sure that naturally-occurring humidity wouldn’t improve the situation. I need to keep that in mind.
They’d be expecting her to have answers. And why wouldn’t they? After all, she was supposed to be a fog specialist. She’d claimed to be one for several years; the tax breaks that came with the job were what had allowed her to keep her animal shelter going when donations ran thin. True, she really did have more real-world experience with it than most pegasi, as she’d encountered hazy mists on several of her trips to Froggy Bottom Bog, but this was something else entirely. Other ponies would be paying close attention to her, expecting—no, demanding results, and if she failed...
Luckily, this worrisome train of thought was cut off by a bizarre, rhythmic squeaking noise, punctuated by occasional metallic clicks and pops. Fluttershy glanced over her shoulder and saw a strange contraption that looked like it was made of oversized candy canes mounted onto a horizontal rotor, like the device she had given to Rainbow Dash’s pet tortoise, Tank, so he could join his owner while she zipped through the air. But unlike most anomalies in the sky, this device had a rather obvious explanation: seated on the device was Ponyville’s resident party guru, Pinkie Pie, who was steadily working a series of pedals which presumably powered the flying machine.
The earth pony grinned broadly as she spotted her friend. “Hiya, Fluttershy!”
“Oh, good morning, Pinkie Pie. Um, what are you doing up so early?”
“Flying in my flying machine, and trying to think of lyrics for a song about how much fun it is to fly in my flying machine. I’m having trouble coming up with words that rhyme with ‘gyrocopter,’ though. Do you know any?”
“Not really. Um, I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but I don’t have much time to talk to you. I need to speak with the weather team about something that’s come up.”
“Wow, that sounds super-serious. In that case, we’d better walk-and-talk. Er, except we’re in the sky, so I guess it’s more like aviate-and-communicate, isn’t it?”
“Pinkie Pie...” Fluttershy replied, barely managing to stop herself from groaning in frustration.
The earth pony took one of her front hooves off its pedal and wagged it disapprovingly. “Ah-ah-ah. You’re in trouble, and that means it’s time to confide in Auntie Pinkie Pie.”
Fluttershy had never liked it when Pinkie Pie referred to herself that way, but she decided to ignore the infraction for the time being. Figuring that Pinkie Pie wouldn’t take no for an answer, she decided to use this as a chance to practice what she’d say to the weather team in front of an actual pony, rather than the ones in her imagination who were scrutinizing every word she said, probing each individual syllable for signs of weakness.
Taking a deep breath, she began: “Well, there was an accident in Cloudsdale last night, and there’s some very unusual fog heading towards Ponyville right now. Because the clouds in the fog were meant to be used as, um, construction material, they’re very thick, which means they might be dangerous. Because I’m a certified fog specialist”—Fluttershy tried to keep her voice from wavering, but was only partly successful—“the Department of Weather has asked me to oversee all matters relating to its containment, including public safety and eventual dispersal.” The pegasus couldn’t resist a smile; it wasn’t precisely what she’d written down, but it was close enough. That had certainly gone better than all of the previous times she’d practiced the statement in the last two hours. Granted, she’d culled most of it from the official documentation she’d been given, so it hadn’t been too difficult to begin with. Next would come questions, and those would be challenging.
Or rather, they would have come, except that Pinkie Pie, being an earth pony without any pronounced interest in meteorology, had no reason not to take everything Fluttershy had said at face value. “Gosh, that doesn’t sound good at all. Is there anything I can do?”
“Um, well, I don’t know. I think the Department of Weather wants me to use professional weatherponies to deal with this.”
“Aw, but I wanna help!”
“Er, I’m not sure what you can do, though.”
“Hmmm... Oh! I know! How about I take my flying machine to this fog thingy and have a look at it while you and the weather team are coming up with a plan? I mean, somepony’s gonna have to head out there eventually, right?”
Fluttershy was more than a bit hesitant in her response. “I’m not certain that’s a good idea.”
“Pretty please?” Pinkie Pie asked, giving Fluttershy the best sad puppy face she could muster. “You can trust me.”
“It... it isn’t that I don’t trust you. But, well, the fog is awfully far away, on the other side of the Unicorn Range,” Fluttershy replied, gesturing northward with one of her hooves. “You might tire yourself out.”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! I’m an earth pony, remember? I’ve got more stamina than I know what to do with. I’ll be fine. Besides, if this really is dangerous for pegasi, wouldn’t it be safer to send somepony who won’t be affected by clouds?”
Fluttershy mulled over this for a few seconds. On the one hoof, sending an earth pony to survey a strange weather pattern was highly irregular, particularly when that earth pony had no formal training in the subject. But on the other hoof, it would be proof that she had already made a decision. That, in turn, implied that she had some idea of what she was doing, and right now, Fluttershy really needed everypony to think that she knew what she was doing. “Um, alright, Pinkie Pie, if you think you can handle it—”
“You bet your pinfeathers I do!” Pinkie chirped.
“Well, then I guess you can go have a look. You, um, don’t have to be too exact. Right now, I need a rough estimate of how thick the fog is, and maybe how fast it’s moving.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” The pink pony banked her gyrocopter northward, and set out towards the Unicorn Range.
“Um, be careful!” Fluttershy called out, almost as an afterthought.
“Got it!” Pinkie called back.
The pegasus bit her lip nervously. I really hope that wasn’t a mistake....
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Poor Fluttershy
First?!
Second.
To Pinkie Pie, one pegasus' breached cloud tank is next year's whipped cream supply. I can see her cutting holes in the fog bank like Scooby Doo already!
I suddenly have this theory that Pinkie's usual hyperactivity is just a multi-year experiment to see if her stamina ever runs out.
Awesome!
Pinkie Pie has lots of stamina you say?
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png
I already see where this is going and approve greatly. Fluttershy is gonna make things up as they go along using snippets of half remembered data, bluffs and a tiny bit of common sense. And she'll miss things a normal specialist would think of which would have ended up wrong thus saving lives and property.
Like this Pinkie thing.
"Oh Fluttershy had me fly over and check out the fog before dawn. It's how we found that stranded pegasus:"
"Miss Fluttershy sent an Earth Pony to fly over the fog thus avoiding trouble a pegasus would have."
"Specialist Fluttershy had a contingency ready for the scenario and trained an Earth Pony using a flying contraption as a fog scout."
"Equestria Daily news report: Chief Ponyville Fog Specialist Fluttershy leads the Weather Team into a miraculous Counter of the worst Industrial Accident in recent history, sources say she had contingencies for every fog based scenario imaginable. More news at eleven."
I love the story premise! Keep up the good work! Pinkie Pie is watching you.
This is eerie. I'm named Greg, and I'm named after one of my dad's friends. My dad's a pilot, and he told me this story one time about how he almost had a plane engine (or parts of one, I forget the details) fall on him, but his friend Greg managed to warn him right before it fell. Who are you, and how do you know my family history?
1424778
I don't know if Kwakerjak has ever heard this, but pilots have a saying -- "Aviate, navigate, communicate." Those are your responsibilities in order of importance in an emergency. First keep yourself in the air, then figure out where you are and what you're going to do, then start making radio calls.
Flutters, rule one: Don't listen to Pinkie PIe. Maybe listen to Surprise, she is at least a pegasus.
Poor Pencil. He's gonna be the chew toy of this story, isn't he?
1425194 - Let me put it this way: I briefly considered naming him Doormat.
1425197
Oh, that poor pony. Please don't ever name a pony Doormat. They can be *
* well enough without literally being named that.
Always good to see your treatment of The Pink One, and glad to see her making an appearance here. It's also nice to see Fluttershy dancing around a position of actual command rather than just her typical Jekyll-and-Hyde flashes of assertiveness.
Last line ?= foreshadowing?
I really hope this doesn't end in having to launch a rescue mission for Pinkie.
Loving it! Definitely agree with the portrayals of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Great work. I like Fluttershy's solution to Pinkie Pie getting in the way. Not only does it get her out of the way, but it might provide some marginally useful information and if worst come to worst she is not really a critical link in their crisis resolution plan.
Good thing Pinkie Pie can use Pegasus magic....wait, this isn't TIG.
Welp this will be interesting.
Something tells me Pinkie is going to be a great ally during the fog crisis.
At least there's HOPEFULLY nothing Pinkie Pie could possibly do to make the fog MORE dangerous to Pegasi!
And how often does Fluttershy need to renew her license?
I think RD KNOWS Fluttershy stinks as a leader, and hopefully will back her up.
This updated?
And I take it that we will be seeing more of Pencil Pusher. (Call it a feeling on my part. *shrugs*)
Pencil Pusher is best desk jockey.
I've actually had that happen: Coming back from the other side of town only to be told to go back where I came from for one more bit of useless data.
1425031
You seem to talk in complete sentences, tho.
1427687 - No, he types in complete sentences.
1427780
Oooooh! That makes sense
Pretty good so far; the idea of Fluttershy cheating on her taxes is pretty amusing while actually not being as OOC as it seemed at first glance, and overall you have a pretty solid set-up. Keep going!
1425017
I can so see that happening. And it will be glorious.
1425496
The Pink One, the Opener of Ways and Means, Muse of Muses, Laughter Incarnate, the Wallbreaker, She of Many Verbs, thanks you for your appreciation.
I love the concept, and I love what you've done with it. Your characterization is spot-on, and Pinkie's dialogue in particular was pretty clever. Your OC was well-done as well, and I liked the way he interacted with Fluttershy. I like how you worked in the pony pox reference, too. It added to the story and gave me a chuckle.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
I am the six hundred and sixty sixth viewer of this chapter! Oh noez!
But anyway, "aviate-and-communicate", Best. Line. Ever.
If I ever invent a flying machine and just happen to be next to a sapient bird creature or anything else that can fly, I'll say that.
...
I can see it's going to be used often.
Wait a second. If this is cloudcrete, and if I am remembering correctly, doesn't that mean it is supposed to be traversable by earth and unicorn ponies? And that means it would have an affect on pinkie....wait, scratch that, she's pinkie pie. Things only affect her if she wants them to.
On a side note, who would win in a fight: pinkie pie/pinkamina Dianne pie, or chuck Norris?
1431466>>1431466
The effect of them fighting would be similar to the Unstoppable Force hitting the Immovable Object. Only bigger.
1424999 She doesn't know what to do with all this stamina.Suggestions, internet?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
1425017 That's scenario one. Scenario two is that the super dense cloud affects Earth and Unicorn as well as Pegasi ponies. Then disaster and rescue mission.
I like the idea that griffons have the odd habit of giving their children what we would consider "normal" names.
You continue to write an excellent Pinkie Pie. As others have said, the "aviate and communicate" line is brilliant.
Should this be "doesn't mean they"? Hard to tell with Greg. Talks like J.J. Jameson.
This has got to be the nittiest of nitpicks, but... at the end of "May the Best Pet Win" Tank's turtlecopter (
tortoisecopter) has a golden glow under the rotor that matches Celestia's magic. I'd always assumed Dash added it as a request at the end of her letter to the princess, but at the very least it looks like the work of a unicorn rather than a pegasus.
1439495 - Well, yeah, but I figure that's the sort of thing that Fluttershy would have had a unicorn make for her ahead of time. I mean, Rainbow Dash can't be the only pegasus with a cloud house and a pet who spends most of its time on land.
1441378
Good point.
This story is so awesome, just the fact that Pinkie is willing to help hasme on edge, and I fear for Flutter's, she's cheating on her taxes, she's going to get into some serious trouble.
alas i would read the most recent chapter (i just started reading this story), but it is almost 11pm, and i have school (and a hellishly boring 1st that makes the cloud overseer's job "fun") so i must retire for the night, i bid you and this fanbase a temporary adeu (really awesome story btw)
dont worry flutters
pinkie will probably come back an expert
"Fridge brilliance" as the doods at TVtropes say! Of course that's how it works!
Earth ponies doesn't just have great stamina, but great strength, at least in comparison to their size. One of the problems with using muscle force to propel an aircraft is the ratio between the power available to the weight - but if you're an earth pony, it's much less of a problem than it would be for a human (or a donkey, or a unicorn, you get my drift). So the Pinkiecopter is one of Pinkie's LEAST physics-breaking tricks!
1439495
Me too. Note that Greg also follow the tradition from the show of having griffon names begin with a 'G' (Gilda, Gustave).
Way to jinx yourself Flutters
Aviate-and-communicate. That line was so unbelievably Pinkie Pie, I have to hug you now.
Excellent story. I love how the whole thing moves almost exclusively on dialogue and a very familiar, highly entertaining writing style. I enjoy the sparsity of details and the key points you make with non-dialogue, most especially with the apt description of Fluttershy's favourite disaster coping tactic and their usual result.
The whole plot as a result of taxes had me in stitches. I like it when people mirror real-life problems into Equestria, most especially when it comes to matters of making everything work. Fluttershy's using an exotic, mostly-useless specialisation to avoid taxes is incredibly real and appropriate for her, and I enjoyed your making this presently original premise, as far as I'm concerned.
The bits about the minor characters are excellent. I especially enjoyed that part about the environment not being against Pencil Pusher but his own lack of inactivity that dooms him to huff-and-puff and as he tries to make it back to Cloudsdale.
In finishing, I like the "construction material" bit and the "everything went white" ending, an oddly appropriate, entertaining, and original spin on the "everything went black" cliche. Bravo.
1425197
Well.....this is awkward....
I really hope that wasn’t a mistake....
Famous last words, second only to 'Hey, watch this!'.
3432366 or "it can't get any worse!"
3456833 or "is it dead?"
"I dunno! go poke it"
3877515 Don't downplay the most classic of them all: "Oops!"
I actually think I got the rhyme Pinkie was looking for, though it would be for a chorus of onlookers rather than Pinkie herself.
"There goes Pinkie in her Gyro-copter."
"The sky's the limit now, nothing can stop her."