• Member Since 9th Jun, 2020
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

SnowOriole


who knew we owned eight thousand salad plates?!!

E

Sunset Shimmer goes for a haircut, and her hairdresser is the first familiar face she's seen in a while. Who knew, in this place, years now from her graduation, she'd be sharing this conversation with Adagio Dazzle?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

I actually liked the story. The idea of Sunset becoming friends with the Dazzlings as the Mane 7 reorient themselves to college and their individual pursuits is intriguing, and I can think of several interesting stories expanding on the concept.

That was a rather touching heart to heart between two former enemies.

Niceeeeeeee

Found my lunch-time read. I'll follow up after, heh.

13 points for grammar cause their were a few punctuation mistakes.

20 points for plot I liked the plot but their was a lot of exposition for what happened with the sirens and the main 7.

18 points for creativity and originality.

7 for romance I’d say their wasn’t enough romance especially for a shipping competition but I like how you made it seem like their might be a future relationship.

9 points for your fun writing style.

So 57 out of a 100

I’d actually continue to read this story if you ever add more chapters.

Comment posted by Scoots_went_burrr deleted Jun 3rd, 2021

10843875
10843948
10843977
10844074
10844443

Thank you so much :twilightsheepish: I'm really glad you like it!

10844487
Thanks for the critique! May I ask though, where were the punctuation mistakes? Could you give some examples? I'd like to learn from them.
I did think about what happens after this story , but unfortunately I'm not planning on continuing the story because of a simple lack of motivation :twilightblush: I might do a related, but not explicitly linked sequel one-shot in the future, but maybe when I feeling more up to it.

10845033

No problem, I'm interested to see what other stories you write :rainbowkiss:

You have one more follower (meee!) :pinkiehappy:

10845062
Awww, now you have one more too! :pinkiegasp:

10845033
I did enjoy this one. Love seeing interaction between these two (if you couldn't tell, from my written fics, heh).
I also do agree with your own personal assessments in the author's notes. I dig what you're going for here plot-wise, but the emotional ebb-and-flow through the dialog did seem a bit abrupt at a few points, as if the thoughts had been kind of pieced together, as you said. But still, a solid "feelings" piece. Cheers.

This was a pleasant surprise. I liked this story. A nice look into the mind of a reformed villain. It's like a haircut--you can't just snip it all away and expect it to look good. :derpytongue2:

Your work is showing improvement. No need to put yourself down. I think you've got a bright future ahead on this site.

10887932
Awwweejehhe thank you! That warms my heart :heart:

Login or register to comment