• Member Since 9th Jun, 2020
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

SnowOriole


who knew we owned eight thousand salad plates?!!

E
Source

Applejack accidentally makes the best apple pie in existence (well, according to Rainbow, anyway). She just needs to know what that last darn ingredient is.

Or, in which Applejack attempts to win a heart with pie.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 15 )

If Rainbow Dash didn’t like any of pinkie pie’s pies, what makes applejack think she could do better?

10379206
I say that either Rainbow's absolutely smitten with AJ or AJ's pies are just that fabulous. And the traditional vs modern pie distinction. It's probably a combination of both in real life this fic. It depends on your interpretation. I was going to include details like that but it seemed a tad unnecessary.

And hey, thanks for reading! That means you're my first! Commenter! Ever! On Fimfiction. This calls for celebration. *confetti rains down on you* Really appreciate it.

Amazingly sweet! The pacing, the writing, the prose... Perfect, just like AJ's pie! :ajsmug: Thanks for writing this story; it's a good one!:twilightsmile:

"I can't believe you just confessed to me with Froot Loops."

:rainbowlaugh:

This may have been short, but the pacing was spot-on and it was chock full of adorable and funny moments. It's just all-around, top-notch, weapons-grade cute. This is seriously really well done for your first story on the site! :twilightsmile:

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10380587

Thank you so much! Asjkhsdakla I'm so happy yall like it :yay:

This was a very cute little fic and I very much enjoyed it. Hope to see more from you.

This story is sweet in more ways than one, and I enjoyed it. Out of curiosity, what was your writing process like?

10422842
Thank you for the kind words. Well, for a writing process...I started with an idea of what I wanted to happen, and read some similar food-related fanfics for inspiration and reference. Since it's a rather simple idea, I didn't plan much and just improvised as I went along.

I have to say, this is very good for a first story. The pace’s decent, the characters feel like themselves, and your grammar and style are mostly solid, just watch out for any slightly confusing use of ‘she’ when two females are present. Also, I noticed some recurring errors in direct speech, though I’d be surprised if I didn’t—most don’t get it right the first time. I can send you a little guide on that, if you wish.

Furthermore, if you introduce a side remark, don’t do so by using a hyphen followed by a space. The ideal way for this site is either using an em dash (—) or a double hyphen (--) without a space on either side. So, instead of this

Although Applejack felt like she had just signed her own death warrant- the way Rainbow’s eyes lit up made any thoughts of backing out vanish instantly

it should look like this:

Although Applejack felt like she had just signed her own death warrantthe way Rainbow’s eyes lit up made any thoughts of backing out vanish instantly

Lastly, it’s far better to separate scenes with some line break, such as the horizontal rule


which you can generate simply by selecting it in the tool bar or by typing [*hr] without the *. The audience clearly understand that, unlike “......” which might mean a lot if things, none of which really fit traditional prose.

10554043
Ah okay, thank you so much! I was wondering how writers did that line break thing.


Wowie. Also, the guide on direct speech would be sweet, I'm always getting confused about that. :twilightblush:

10555647
You’re welcome! :twilightsmile: I swear, someone should make a guide/tutorial on how to use that tool bar properly. A lot of users don’t know how to use half of these tools, which is a shame.

I’ll PM you the guide in a moment :rainbowdetermined2:

Excellent story keep up the good work

I only have to know it's written by you to sense this is an amazing story :twilightsmile:

- just don't know if I will read it yet

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