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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Boy, politics sure has a way of making things way more complicated than they need to be.
She knows, and I don't think she's opposed...
Jon Townsend is a bro and a good soul. I like that channel.
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Especially nowadays.
She suspects but isn't 100% sure yet. That will change!
He really is. And me too. I'm subscribed to it. For the record, I have tried that fried chicken recipe, including using the fried and crumbled parsley as garnish, and it really does work.
The second asylum was brought up there's no way they wouldn't have backed down. There's no way that they wouldn't be terrified by the idea of her spilling all the secrets. Otherwise, good chapter lots of good character building and poor Fortrakt getting teased super hard again. The relationship between those two is certainly a lot... maybe not friendlier but closer than the original.
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KCMA, you make the mistake of thinking that he is a rational person with sound judgement. The ambassador is in fact a politician.
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It's a valid point, except that "they" basically means Goldberg, who doesn't think in those terms. He's worried more about his image and reputation back home, and not running afoul of Dana's politically powerful father. And even if he did relent, Tara knows the instant she passes through the portal she gets arrested. So asylum is her only solution right now if she wants to stay free and in the company of her friends, both old and new.
Nevertheless, I think you raise a valid concern about maybe the Marines being worried about her spilling secrets, so I will take make sure to address that in future chapters.
Thanks! The latter does seem to be a crowd pleaser with both my prereaders and commenters. I'm hard on him only because I like and fully intend to reward him.
And is shortly going to get closer still in the side story! All joking aside, there's mutual respect between them, definitely. Each has their faults and recognizes those of the other, but perhaps they also realize that they cover for each other's faults quite well. Gilda finds Fortrakt a little dweeby at times, but she'd also acknowledge that he's very earnest and honorable, wanting to do right by others and the Kingdom. In contrast, Fortrakt thinks Gilda is a bit judgmental and needs to loosen up, but he also appreciates how driven she is. He finds her a very fair superior who's easy to work with as long as he does his duty, knowing she puts the interests of the Kingdom first. And of course, professional relationship aside, the two do consider each other friends. Otherwise they couldn't insult and tease each other like they do!
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I wish I could say that his depiction was an exaggeration, but unfortunately, his mindset is all too common nowadays. Far too many people care more about their online image or keeping on the good side of the in crowd rather than doing what's right.
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Yeah they were like that in the old version too, but this just feels... less like me and my coworkers and more like me and my friends. It's a subtle difference but for me it's a bit thing and I like seeing it.
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Thanks for saying so. I consider that a compliment to my writing. The trick of the side story will be to maintain that dynamic even in the face of what happens. Keep them true to their characters, and each other.
lol coming back after years and finding that something in the G4M universe is still done! great! that was a pretty good read and i'll look forward to the next chapters
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Welcome back! Good to hear from you on my stories again, even if this just a revamp & continuation of someone else's work. There's plenty more to come, and as you've seen, the Gentlemanverse isn't dead yet!
Excellent story keep up the good work
i assume updates are slow-going for this?
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Actually, you're going to see a massive dump of new Feathered Hearts content in the next couple weeks. Check out the Author's Note of this chapter and my last few blog posts for information as to what.
I find my attention wandering from this fic because the progression feels unpleasantly rushed. It no longer feels like a delicious slow burn of action and horror, and feels like you are rushing the entire story towards the pornographic and relationship side of things. Especially with the 'oops, accidentally dropped aphrodisiacs in the drink!' Setup you have leading to the side stories.
To be frank about this, it feels like a massive chunk of excuse plot to get to write porn as a result of the sudden addition, and it feels deeply and unpleasantly out of place. For all that the writing is good quality, it feels wrong in what was supposed to be a continuation to subvert the entire opening of the story for the thrills of exploring the magically enhanced hormone responses of several characters.
I wish you well, but I'm going to have to abandon watching this story and consider it a dead fic. Have a good day, stay safe and stay healthy.
TL;DR version: This added content would be fine if it was a new story entirely, but being this is supposed to be a continuation of a different story it feels like a corruption instead. I'm not mad, just disappointed.
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I thank you for sharing your thoughts, and better still, doing so respectfully. Most people wouldn't; they'd either just drop their downvote and leave, or write some nastygram of a comment. I've had both happen to me. If this updated story isn’t for you, that's fine, and you've certainly made clear your reasons why. However, I'm going to have to push back on most of these, as I simply don't find them to be fair.
I expanded the first four original story chapters to six, heavily editing and adding to them, and then wrote four original chapters on top of that. Adding them up, this basically means that there are now nine chapters in place of the first four, and yet you're calling it rushed? That seems very odd to me.
Because the original story was not about a relationship? Because it didn’t have the Sex and Romance tags lit? Because DEL didn't have his own well-received M-rated side story (Feathered Heart: Preening)? Because I'm exploring characters that got forgotten after the first few chapters in the original, trying to flesh them out while also filling in some gaps in the story with additional exposition and explanation? Because I'm taking time to set the scene fully while also bringing in organizations like the Council of Crows and Ravens, who will figure prominently in the story later?
I'm sorry, but in my view, there is nothing remotely rushed about this. In fact, if anything, I think I've considerably slowed the pace down.
*rubs eyes* Except it was no accident, and the motives behind it were decidedly not nice. I've said that repeatedly through every blog I wrote over the past month, and made very clear that's what I was doing.
I also can't help but note you posted this comment on chapter 8. I take it that you didn't read chapter 9, which was set after the side story? It actually revealed what happened and why, while tilting the story back towards its main storyline, but if you didn't read it, then you're not going to know that. I think it gives a very valid--to say nothing of rather malicious--explanation for what happened, and also goes into how they figured it out as the immediate aftermath is explored. Trust me, Gilda’s not happy, and neither is anyone else when they learn who was responsible and what they were trying to accomplish. Spoiler: it wasn’t sex.
I freely admit I wanted to explore griffon/human relationships, which is a neglected niche on this site. This offered the chance to do so without overly-affecting the main storyline, in my view, which remains intact as these events will (mostly) not be remembered--something else chapter 9 makes clear.
Look, I didn't just up and spring this on people. I asked readers on my blog back in April if they wanted me to do this, and the answer was yes. I then set out to write the side story and took pains to keep everyone informed of my progress, offering teasers and even hints as to an explanation for what was happening. You can look at my blog over the past month and a half if you don’t believe me. The side story itself has been a smashing success, in my view, as it not only featured and surged past the 70-like mark--not an easy feat on fimfiction nowadays, especially for a clopfic that doesn’t feature the Mane 6 or even ponies--but better yet, pulled more than 80 new readers and 25 likes to the main story. I really couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.
TL;DR version: I asked for reader input on the potential of writing a side story and once I had it, I did what it seemed both they and my very muse was demanding. I'm sorry you don't like it, but I'm not apologizing for it or changing it. I churned out nearly 60k words on both the main and side stories over the past six weeks, and that's an enormous output. This all but consumed me, and I couldn’t be happier over how it’s turned out. So you'll forgive me if I really don't like it when someone just dismisses all that work and all those hours writing out of hand.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I wish you well too. Stay safe and stay healthy out there as well.
Then we will have to agree to disagree, because I find your rationale to be unfair, and most of the comments I’m seeing are quite favorable and complimentary on both the main story and side.
I'm sorry you didn't like it, but you had plenty of chance to object before and didn't, even going so far as liking the side story before you flipped your upvote to down. But so be it. You’ve said your piece, and I’ve now said mine. I doubt we’re going to convince each other, so let’s leave it there. Have a good day.
Extreamly good additional content to the original
Magnificent chapter!
Purrfect resolution to that Bitch. Hope her father drops her foul ass in the trash.
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Thank you very much:
We’ll have to see what ultimately happens to her, but with apologies, you’ll have to wait until the very end of the story for that. In some ways, Dana is very lucky, you know--as a result of this, she’s leaving the Kingdom before the Cloven attacks.
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She would be probably be not just a waste of supplys but also detremental to any troop moral... Great Resolution 👍
Re-reading is quite the treat
Especially the juicy Ero
I was definitely going to wonder about Warrior being shown if the idea of modern machine guns were what was being restricted, but that got addressed a little further into the narrative. Personally, I haven't seen that movie, myself, but I suppose if any early battlefield scenes involving one of the brothers were minimal, then the griffons might not have picked up on the nature of human weaponry.
Still--haven't any of the humans ever visited Ponyville? I mean, they should all question a "party cannon"!
Tbh Gilda's interest in Marco feels weird here, while Dara and F not only seem adorable, but you can see the slippery slope that he's sliding down.
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Welcome back, then! There’s still some reasons to hang out here, and I hope you find this to be one of them.
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It feels weird to her, too! As I’m sure you’ve figured out by now if you’ve gotten into Eros (thanks for the like, btw! ), what’s happening to them is not natural, and it’s all just getting started here as the first few untoward thoughts and impulses start to rise to the surface. If you want to know what’s actually hitting them and why, you’ll find out the next main story chapter. It picks up after the events of Eros, which will be (mostly) unremembered, at least to start—but suffice it to say, there were some very bad intentions at play by as-yet unknown agents in bringing all this about.
As to why Gilda might be attracted to Marco, sorry to sound like a broken record, but that does get discussed later on in both the main story and side. Regardless, welcome to the story and hope you enjoy the journey!
And absolutly nothing was going south that night.
Only
sunshinemoonshine and rainbows11138888
Nope. Not a thing. All they did was enjoy a few kid-friendly movies, chat and eat popcorn.
I have no doubt all they did was just sing a friendship song and go to bed.
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... ...
The night of the Ciderrr~♡
Why 8: Expulsion or Asylum
It should be:
8: Expulsion AND Asylum?
Or not?
Eros... The next update will be glorious ♡👍
not withstanding
Will we get a chance encounter for Gilda and the delivery bird?
This party just started, but is already going full tilt towards FUN
Love finding stories that cover details like food and drink in the world of Equestria beyond hay based puns. The use of actual recipes is a particularly nice touch. I'm subscribed to a couple of other food YouTube channels B. Dylan Hollis and Tasting History with Max Miller come to mind.
As to Goldberg, he was so slimy and self-serving that even Blue Blood might raise an eyebrow.
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Thanks again! I’m an amateur cook myself, so I’m into stuff like this. I tend to slip it into my writing whenever I get a chance.
Blueblood would have no use for him at all, and show him zero respect. He’s actually a good if stuffy pony in this verse, if you read all of Five Star Service. And the plan is for him to appear in this story later.
With the cooking skill of Marco I can see Gilda falling in love through the stomach alone. My father won over my mother with great cooking and dancing skill.