Rofl this is so much better opening then the cannon one

Damn... no offense but whoever decides to brave that mess to point out corrections is going to have to reference almost the entire thing.

As for the content of the chapter, there's not much to say since it's just an adaptation of canon.

11541245
Sorry, but I’m a complete failure at grammar and don’t have access to grammarly anymore to do minor corrections myself. I wish I had an editor for this story but sadly I have none and no volunteers either so I have to make due

“Wow….” Pinkie said. “He’s even more intense then Nanna Pie said…. And hot!”

Why did I suddenly get a chill here?

Thanks for the chapter 😊

11541712
Sorry but there's no way is be able to follow this. I do appreciate the effort and if you're willing to keep it up then I can send you a link to the Google doc

11541725
...Oh. Well, then ignore the PM I just sent you I guess. As for keeping it up, probably not. There was a lot more work to do compiling all that than I thought when I started.

11541730
I did say I suck at grammar but it doesn't help that I'm limited to writing on a tablet to as to why my Grammarly won't work like it used to

11541733
It's also a good thing I write this story as a side bit to clear my thoughts or when I get an urgent for a more comedic based scene

11541730
As for the editing I just use the comment feature in docs so it wouldnt be a big deal if you choose To keeping track with it or not. This story jas been a bigger success than I originally intended, which is why I hate the fact I'm not motivated to write for it more often or just plain put more effort into it altogether.