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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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...noted...
In the next chapter, I'd try and make it about Kai Chisaki experimenting with his powers or "Quirk". I'd also try and put off him finding out about how corrupt his Equestria until the 3rd or 5th chapter, just so he doesn't rush into the Absolute Overhaul.
Also I think someone else on this site is doing also doing an Overhaul Displaced story... can't remember the name though?
10757886
Well, I haven't seen a different overhaul crossover story, so you may be thinking of a different site. But if you remember it, please leave a link for me to read it.
10757886
Its an rgre story i forgot the name too but its in ky favorites somewhere you can find it on the rgre group fairly easily
10757923
I found it: Just a Bartender
10757959
Thanks man.
It looks interesting.
He will do what's necessary
Since there's Caribou in this Equestria, the MC will cure this planet of their filth.
Damn, you got me hooked !
10758727
I am glad to hear it,
Chapter 2 will be posted sometime later today after I am done proof reading it.
.... I'm curious about this story hope to see more soon
The world is sick, it needs a cure.
I feel as a character Overhaul was limited heavily. He could gain many benefits such as practically instant regeneration just by modifying himself a bit. If his quirk could control air he could just throw his disembodied hands at people. Even just copying the biology of those around him would be helpful for a multitude of reasons (magic, blending in, durability, etc, etc). I look forward to where this story goes. But I would recommend a editor/beta reader to catch spelling errors you miss
10759662
As overhaul as in from the anime or story?
Also, if you find any spelling errors, please let me know where it is and how to fix it.
10759684
10759684
I meant Overhaul from the anime sorry if I didn’t make that clear. I’ll include the ones I found but I suck at grammar so can’t help you there.
“This should be our most profited show since we had started airing.” Should be “This should be our most profitable show since we have started airing.” Or “This should be our most profitable show since we first started airing.”/“This will be our most profitable show since we first started airing.”
“The colorful chains and shackles where made to match Fluttershy's mane and coat, with the actual shackles that'll go around he wrists and ankles painted yellow and the chains alternated between pink and yellow.” Should be “The colorful chains and shackles where made to match Fluttershy's mane and coat, with the actual shackles that'll go around her wrists and ankles painted yellow and the chains alternated between pink and yellow.
I probably missed some but I’m not an editor anyway. Feel free to do what you will with what I’ve written
10759739
You, my friend have good taste
10759882
They are the disease and he is the cure
I've got an idea, try and make the next chapter about Kai Chisaki learning about Pony biology and magic so he can try and integrate the ability to use magic into his body.
Plus I don't see how any creature stands a chance against Overhaul, seeing as he can instantly kill them with just a scratch. In the My Hero Academia manga and Anime I feel like Overhaul's abilities were really undersold seeing as he has control over matter, the possibilities were near-endlesss.
10759684
I like that song Too for overhaul
Get you some new friends.
Is that meant to be a reference to a vine?
Is that common?
10771359
yes,
yes,
and yes
with twilights help he might be able to make himself into an alicorn. dont think you will go that route but its an interesting thought
Are all the ponies like that?
Is that legal?
Did turning into the character also change his personality?
What does that mean?
10771366
What about stallions?
10771385
There are three major genders in the fallen equestria timeline,
Stallions,
Hermaphrodites,
and mares.
Males and hermaphrodites are considered the 'apex gender', and in doing so, they treat mares as nothing more than holes to please themselves with.
In this timeline yes
How would you feel if you got covered in blood?
The saying "Let the dead burry the dead" roughly translates to it is not important, or there are better things at hand that need to be done.
Why? What was the point?
That’s a very odd resistance.
10771405
I’d be disgusted if I was covered in blood, but I wouldn’t be nonchalant about it.
10771416
The answer to both is easy to understand if you've seen the anime,
but I don't want to accidentally spoil it for you.
10771424
I’ve seen the anime, but I may need to catch up.
Great chapter, I have a few criticisms though. Overhauls mask is a fairly obvious mask so how did twilight get that confused. If sweet apple acres is selling the ponies, presumably publicly, why are they missing. If the mares are truly in so much danger and realize the danger why do they continue to act out when it could mean death. I would love to have these questions answered but feel free to ignore me
10772025
First question, I think I may have left out some words or made some typos.
Second question, more than likely, sweet apple acres has a log of which ponies they’ve sold. So they’ll know if someone had either bought them or the mares had escaped.
Second question (alt answer), if you mean how are they missing, it is implied that Overhaul/Chisaki saved them sometime in the night.
Third question, if you mean why Rainbow Dash kept lashing out, she is Rainbow dash, do I really explain any more?
Bruh you got to make more I got to see how overhaul kills the rapists and celestia
Continue com essa história por favor tá muito legal
10804603
I've been busy, but it is on my to-do list
10771405
"How would you feel if you got covered in blood?"
It's a really good thing a certain blood lover wasn't the displaced instead...oh sweet discord. Now I kinda wanna do a story with each villian.
10809082
I may do a fix with All for One or Gentle Criminal,
But right now I need to continue working on my already existing fanfics.
When is the next update
Wait, what’s their goal? I kinda forgot.
How can his eyes scare him?
Wait, so is his goal different from the girls?
Wow. Strangely specific.
How did it reach that far?
10816922
1.) their goal is to destroy the misogynistic society they live in and create a utopia out of its remains.
2.) the eyes were full of anger, not to mention his somewhat intimidating costume.
3.) their goal is the same, it was just a typing error.
4.) It is a common trope in the mlp fandom for a unicorn horn to be sensitive.
5.) Big Mac was running for his life, while Overhaul wasn’t in any kind of rush.
10816935
And that explains how it reached so far?
10816946
The range is what he wants it to be all he needs to do is touch it with his hand
10762698
Because those creatures and other Ponies are too prideful, arrogant, and even too f****** retarded to even "think" of standing little "chance" against a OP Quirk like Overhaul has.
For example, from a Star Wars perspective. It's like seeing weak ass non-force users facing against a Full-Blown Sith Master that masters the force so much. That he can turn your body into paste like Overhaul did.
10817404
So it can go for miles and miles?