Cars are still parked outside. If the rapture had happened, why was it unrecognizable? Why was the sky blue? Why did no one tell me? Do these things not announce themselves?
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And life would pour down like water to a well, attempting to drown out their love. For Meadowbrook, she could either stay afloat or drown.
This story was written as part of a gift exchange by reviewers from Nailah’s Review Group, as a gift for AppleZombi! Hope you like it!
Edited by Wishcometrue!
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Might wanna fix that description Red, seems a bit broken.
This is an engaging start. I like the hints of something deeper going on without their noticing.
And I find it very believable to the reactions of each involved.
The cuddling is a nice touch, and gives a new perspective I hadn't considered. Keep up the good work.
The symbolism you are evoking in this piece is quite brilliant. It captures the mood, and the severity of it all, and what it might mean for them. This is a solid chapter. Keep up the good work.
And the plot thickens. I am trying to find more ways to say how great the characterization and overall style of yours is vastly fascinating and just makes the reader truly think about the words put forth. The symbolism continues, and as such, so does our story. Let us see how it ends...
Dawwwh. This was both powerfully emotionally driven, and a look back at the Pillars, a side of them we didn't get to see in the show.
I really like that you choose to have Meadowbrook and Sommubula be the focus of the pece, as they are very interesting in their own regards.
I knew who the thief was right away, but that wasn't important.
It's the overall weight of the emotions that were felt, and how they both have to deal with how to work through it together, and showing that Meadowbrook was the one that needed support was a nice touch. As healers are often depicted as being strong, even they can be fragile.
I am so very intrigued. The foreshadowing of future events is really well done. By revealing to us that their stuff is missing, you've put an invisible countdown on the entire story that the reader is aware of even if the characters are not.
There is a sweetness and a chemistry here that I love, too. Very excited to read the rest.
Which I will do right now.
I love how tense this got. The subtext is quite fun.
I think one thing that works really well is the way that the romance isn't without conflict. Happily ever after is only interesting if it comes at the very end of a story,
A great story leaves the reader begging for more, even while it opens wide the imagination for what could be.
Clearly, I choose to see this ending from the standpoint of Hope. Obviously we know how the fight against Stigian turned out, and Starswirl's eventual 'softening', so it's easy to speculate a happy ending for the couple. On the other hand, leaving that ending in the dark is the right touch of bittersweet vagueness.
I loved it. Thank you so much, it was fun and sweet. The visuals were beautiful and touching, and the dialogue was intense and nuanced. Most of all the use of symbolism throughout, the rain and the drowning, was a masterful touch.
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<3 I'm so glad to hear you liked it! This was an interesting and challenging piece to write, but if you're happy with it then I'm happy. Happy holidays!
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Thanks for all the great feedback Nailah!
Yees. Yees. So much gay pony. This exactly what I crave in fanfiction. Thank you The Reed Parade. Excellent story telling, melodrama, the works. Could've used more lesbian horse kissu kissy, and a few small typos, but otherwise an excellent piece of gay ponies. A like button thoroughly smashed, and a follower gained
My only regret is that I didn't read this sooner. Despite a few typos here and there the story was excellent, it's one of those stories where even if you know the ending you're hooked because it's all about the journey.
Really, just wow.