• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen 30 minutes ago

Elu


I'm a Russian guy writing pony fiction. If you enjoy my work, please support me on Patreon or Ko-Fi

Comments ( 98 )

Your link is pointing to Nightmare: rise of demons

Elu

10660893
I was having a brain short-circuit. Fixed now.

I did not read the old version but the story sounds interesting. I am eagerily waiting for the next chapters.

i feel in love with the old story i cant wait to see how it turns out

And hey, at least one horse is out and about, and that horse is me. I'm also a human, but being a magical flying horse is infinitely cooler than being a regular human.

Fuck humanity, I love being a magical flying horse now. Totally worth it.

Oh, this is one of those stories.

Love it like the old one! Keep it up!

IT LIVESSS YEES YYYEEEESSS YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

I wasn't a big fan of the first one mainly because of the writing but I remember saying I'd give the rewrite a chance so here I am.

Hey there,

I read through the old version, and I'll say I'm looking forward to seeing where this new take on the idea goes.

An alicorn of music, should know everything about music, and all the genders, have perfect pitch, read and write ear, etc. but it's not my story, so go ahead.

Elu

10660968
What do you mean?
10661011
Certainly will!
10661138
Finally, after 9 years in development, it has hopefully been worth the wait.
10661223
I hope you'll end up liking this, then:twilightsmile:
10661593
And I'm excited to bring new stuff to the table as well.
10661634
That's a good point. Despite being a lover of music, the protagonist will still have to learn plenty of things.
10661673
Gracias.

10661758
My favorite class is the Alicorn. Thanks, and have fun!

10661758
Misanthropic self-insert. You know, Earth and humans suck, Equestria and ponies are better in every way. The usual.

Elu

10661805
It's not a self-insert, don't worry. Plus it was more of a joke than anything, a way for the character to cope with his situation. Besides, I think it's absolutely fair to say that we humans have done plenty of bad shit.

10661634
twilight had to learn magic even when she became the alicorn of magic (or freidship but im pretty sure her alicronhood is magic and the princesshood is freindship) so being the alicron of something seems to give someone a boost in understanding and talent perhaps but not make them a master (starlight out played and magiced twilight a few times and she aint alicorn of maigc)

10661977
It just means that the protagonist, asuming he wasn't a conservatory graduate, will have to undergo studies in music in a conservatory and learn everything about music, not just metal, after some years, he can start introducing different kind of music, metal just one among them, because if he only wants to get metal to equestria, then we may as well call him the Alicorn of Metal Music only.

10662240
could be but we can call twilight the alicorn of magic even though she doenst use all magic (chaos never used to my knolage and dark magic next to never) and celestia didnt become the alicorn of the sun and moon in lunas absence but im not sure on that one.

either way i think it can be agreed that being an alicorn of something wont immediatly make you a master but may make it easyer to learn and give you boons in the area.

10662270
Twilight special talent is magic, meaning that she can learn anything about magic, which she kind of does, even to a minor degree, though she is the alicorn of friendship, an abstract concept, the same with love, the sun and moon are not concepts, they are physical objects, so one needs to have the maginc and/or talent to manipulate them, but music, is an art, and, as an art, it needs acknowledge, practice, studies, investigation and innovation through history, if you like rock, and only listen to rock, or know how to play rock, and can not play any other gender nor extrapolate at least, or can't understand or analyze other genders or foreign music, then personally i wouldn't consider you an alicorn of music, or a proper artist, you would be an amateur; take conservatory students, they learn the basics, music theory, learn history of music, and the music of different times and countries, their harmony, they learn classical, jazz, rock, pop, orchestration, traditional music, and a lot of etcs., when they graduate, some go to an orchestra to conteniue with classical music, others work in film, games, others are independent, and other make their bands in jazz, rock, metal, etc., these graduates understand all kind of music, and have the acknowledge to analyze music they may not know to reproduce it, or integrate them in their own compositions; if our protagonist can't do that because he decided to concentrate only in metal, he won't pass the amateur level, he will have his mind limited by one gender only; but i imagine harmony decided he was a good guy, and make him an alicorn anyway, even when he doesn't have the qualifications for the title, which again, is an art, a very broad art, not an abstract concept.

10662344
so what you are suggesting is that he might be a part of a group or pair of music alicorns in the future?

10662419
I am not suggesting that, i just criticize that an alicron of music that concentrates on metal, and only likes metal, is not an alicorn of music, the description shows aparently a guy that loves hearing music, metal specially, and because of that he is made alicorn of music, loving music doesn't being proficient in it, the description should have said somethin along the lines of : "A man without luck, repressed by rivals, jelous of his talents in music, and compositions, after graduating from music school with honours, he though on following his dreams of becoming a recognised author and singer, composing his own music, sing them, play them, in either rock, metal, jazz; perhaps one day being part of a super production film with
orchestration like Vangelis, or make de music for a game in a studio like Gareth Coker; but due to some old classmates with money and influence, all his opportunities are shot down before he could prove himslef, with his savings running out, he is worried of what he will do to change his situation, until one day, he wakes up in a forest, as a horse with wings, perhaps this is finally the opportunity he was waiting for, after all, these ponies does not have rock, metal, or even jazz, he has a lot of work ahead, and is time to bring some change. "

Somethig like this sound more plausible for me; now being in a band of alicorns with different talents, is an onother idea entirely, one that will make the group a unit, like the elements, one alicorn may bee good with instruments, another in composition, another in orchetration, etc. but music is big, an alicorn of metal, woulnd't fit in it, unless there is an alicorn for each gender of music, that is more complicated even.

Elu

10662465
I love what you're saying. I'll definitely explore the background the protagonist has when it comes to making music - he doesn't just like to listen to it and that's it.

I think it's a good idea to edit the description of the story a bit to reflect it too.

I'm an amateur musician myself - I've never gone to any music or even art-oriented school, I don't know all that much about music theory, I can't really play instruments. I hope to learn more about all of this while I'm writing about someone who knows more than I do, and who will also learn along with me but in a different way.

As soon as I took off the hoodie, the wings manifested themselves on my back. And as soon as I put it back on, they disappeared. Oh, there's more! A pair of stylized wings appear on the back of the hoodie as a print! That's really interesting.

I bet either Twilight or Moon Dancer would love to exam that hoodie of his.

I sighed deeply. Alright, it's official - I'm on another planet entirely.

How would he come to THAT conclusion just opening Google Map? If I get error from my map app, the first thing that comes to my mind is either I don't have connection or the server is down.

Elu

10663405
The protagonist is aware that GPS is supposed to work anywhere in the world. He thinks that only underground locations cut off the signal, so he assumes there would be at least something in the forest he's in. The forest is of a mixed kind that can be found in moderate areas of America and Eurasia where plenty of people live, so logically for him, he would have at least something instead of an error popping up.

Obviously, he didn't check everything, but he also doesn't know everything that he could check. So, he kind of had to assume he was somewhere different.

Rewriting this again, eh? Well, here’s to improving one’s skills!

Elu

10663455
Not again, just the first time. Haven't rewritten it before.

10663481
mm, thought this was the third time i'd seen this. Maybe I'm thinking of something else.

Elu

10663504
There's a person who asked me whether he could make his own version of Alicorn of Music. Maybe you're thinking of that.

10663509
Yeah, that’s probably it.

Just went and saw that again. Too bad it’s cancelled. Good thing the original lives again—in upgraded form!

Is this the 2nd or the 3rd reboot? Meh I'll be reading them all again anyways. Good work Elu, I love your works and can't wait to see where this version takes us.

Elu

10663672
First one. You're probably thinking of an Alicorn of Music story that wasn't written by me but with my permission.

10663677
Oh. Oh well, both were good. Now If you'll excuse me my toaster is trying to make a hellgate out of toast and warp energy... shit it's working.

There's going to be more detail about his love of music in general instead of metal exclusively this time, right? :twilightsheepish:

I really like the premise of this story, but jesus the anti-human garbage right off the bat is really off putting. Like, we get it, humanity is bad for the planet. I read stories like these to get away from that crap, not read more of it.

Elu

10664386
Fair enough, but I don't think I could have a character with his backstory not address at least some of that. Later in the story, you'll see why. In fact, the first chapter already hints at why he's not fond of humanity.

I don't think a story about a human can go without mentioning bad stuff at least once unless it's pushed aside and ignored. Personally, I can't write that way, feels disingenuous. I understand why it can be off-putting, but in my opinion, fiction is as much about reality as it is about, well, stuff that is not real, and the reality is that plenty of things we humans do suck, and pretending otherwise is just dishonest.

I personally can't just push it all under a rug and pretend it doesn't exist, especially when I want to write a character who has faced certain hardships in his life.

And in the end, what you're reading is the thoughts of the main character.

One last note - if you're looking for fiction that doesn't concern our reality and provides perfect escape to a fantasy world that doesn't touch on modern problems or any relatable problems at all, then what I write simply isn't for you.

Since the beginning, fiction has been used to tell stories about ourselves from a different perspective. Only the minority of stories can truly act as escapism.

10665155
It's not dishonest if it serves literally no purpose other than to just say "wow, look at how shitty our species is"
Like I said, we all know that humanity is "bad" for the planet. Whatever. People hardly ever write about all the amazing and good things we do as a species since its always so much easier to be edgy and stay on the bandwagon of "humanity is a plague". I always find that so hypocritical since people who write that stuff ARE human. Like, it doesn't come across as self aware or honest, it just comes across as self righteous and douchey.

Again, like I said, I really like the premise of this story, and I'll keep reading it for now, but that's a pet peeve of mine since all I see is people complaining vicariously through fiction while doing nothing to solve the problem they're complaining about in person.

Elu

10665634

It's not dishonest if it serves literally no purpose other than to just say "wow, look at how shitty our species is"

It serves the purpose of showing what the protagonist thinks and raises the question to the read "huh, why does he think so?"

People hardly ever write about all the amazing and good things we do as a species since its always so much easier to be edgy and stay on the bandwagon of "humanity is a plague"

Some people focus on positives, other focus on negatives. I mean, when it comes to criticism, why would anyone criticize stuff we get right?

The protagonist also doesn't say humanity is a plague. He in a joking manner says "fuck humanity, I'm a flying magical horse now", which is his way of dealing with the situation of, you know, having changed his body unwillingly. It doesn't mean he actually hates the entirety of humanity.

I always find that so hypocritical since people who write that stuff ARE human.

I think there's nothing hypocritical about that personally, considering that I know I'm human and I've done shitty things myself. Not that it should be all that relevant here - the story is told from the perspective of the protagonist, and his opinions may or may not be mine. Personally, I think we're pretty bad but we have room for improvement because, well, we're just a product of our surroundings, and it's not entirely our fault we're the way we are.

Again, like I said, I really like the premise of this story, and I'll keep reading it for now, but that's a pet peeve of mine since all I see is people complaining vicariously through fiction while doing nothing to solve the problem they're complaining about in person.

That is fair. I personally went vegan and changed my political views so that I become a better person. If you want to talk specifically about that, feel free to send me a message so that we don't clutter the comments with that. Generally, if you have any more questions in regards to "humanity is bad" message here, feel free to message me.

i really liked the previous Alicorn of Music stories, but one of the things i didn’t really like was how the main character went with satanic metal as the worlds first taste of metal/rock.
there was such a wide variety of songs and genres of rock/metal to choose from, yet he chose the one in which the innocent ponies would probably not like.
past music choices aside, im excited to see where this goes.

10661814

It's not a self-insert, don't worry.

pm1.narvii.com/7315/a8eff9a5dff394c4df13929d90bd41c94444e89ar1-600-315v2_hq.jpg
How so? He likes Metal music like you do. He dislikes humans like you do. He likes ponies like you do. And it's only been 2 chapters and he already ranted about how bad capitalism, plastic and climate change are. So he shares your politics. Those feel very personal.

10665155

Fair enough, but I don't think I could have a character with his backstory not address at least some of that. Later in the story, you'll see why. In fact, the first chapter already hints at why he's not fond of humanity.

It serves the purpose of showing what the protagonist thinks and raises the question to the read "huh, why does he think so?"

Oh, so he is a human-turned alicorn AND has a tragic backstory (presumably bad parents\job\country) ? Will he have a herd? Just to complete bad oc trifecta?

I don't think a story about a human can go without mentioning bad stuff at least once unless it's pushed aside and ignored. Personally, I can't write that way, feels disingenuous.

Why? Or are you one of those people who can't stand 5 minutes whithout mentioning his worldviews?

and the reality is that plenty of things we humans do suck, and pretending otherwise is just dishonest.

And yet our "bad" deeds pale in comparison to all the good we do. But I don't see praising for humans in this story.
Besides, Equestria is just as "bad" as Earth is, if not worse. But somehow I doubt he will be ranting about ponies as much as he does about humans.

10665643

Some people focus on positives, other focus on negatives. I mean, when it comes to criticism, why would anyone criticize stuff we get right?

Why are you only critisizing? Focusing only on bad things is unhealthy and leads to depression.

The protagonist also doesn't say humanity is a plague. He in a joking manner says "fuck humanity, I'm a flying magical horse now", which is his way of dealing with the situation of, you know, having changed his body unwillingly. It doesn't mean he actually hates the entirety of humanity.

It didn't feel like a joke. And if saying that humanity deserves to die out for all the "bad" things we did is not considered hating, then I'm curious what you think does.

I think there's nothing hypocritical about that personally, considering that I know I'm human and I've done shitty things myself.

I agree, it's not hypocritical. Just wrong.

Not that it should be all that relevant here - the story is told from the perspective of the protagonist, and his opinions may or may not be mine.

So far they align perfectly.

That is fair. I personally went vegan and changed my political views so that I become a better person.

Eh, your politics and diet do not make you a better person. Especially when you adopt them to feel self-gratification.

Sorry if I sound a bit too critical. You are a good author and the story is well written. I like the premise of bringing human music to ponies and the guy not telling everyone he meets that he is an alien from another dimension. Just write more ponies and less rants. Cheers.

10665634
10665634
I find it a little ironic that a guy who wrote stories about a guy being turned into a pony, and staying in Equestria because of how good it is, and a story about most of humanity dying off in an apocalypse with only raiders remaining is "defending" humanity.

Elu

10665794

How so? He likes Metal music like you do. He dislikes humans like you do. He likes ponies like you do. And it's only been 2 chapters and he already ranted about how bad capitalism, plastic and climate change are. So he shares your politics. Those feel very personal.

There are certainly plenty of people on this planet who share those points. His experiences are different to mine, his personality is different to mine, his backstory is different to mine, and his wants/fears/goals are different compared to mine. I don't think it's fair to say that the protagonist is a self-insert purely because we share points a lot of other people aside from me also have.

Oh, so he is a human-turned alicorn AND has a tragic backstory (presumably bad parents\job\country) ? Will he have a herd? Just to complete bad oc trifecta?

A bad OC is defined by how its done, not by the ideas. It all depends on the execution. Sure, feel free to flack me to hell and back if what I end up writing turns out not making sense and whatnot, but the idea of a person having a tragic backstory isn't a bad one inherently, and neither is human-to-alicorn transformation. I don't know about a herd, likely not going to be one. I see no real reason to include it, at least.

Why? Or are you one of those people who can't stand 5 minutes whithout mentioning his worldviews?

Those views don't need to be mentioned directly to show themselves. This story is told from the perspective of the main character, and as such shows his inner thoughts. It's not like all his thoughts turn into spoken words at all times.

And yet our "bad" deeds pale in comparison to all the good we do.

This is a very, very debatable point and hugely depends on whom you ask. Personally, if we do end up killing the planet, I think the answer to "did we do more good than bad?" will become clear. If we end up at least giving housing, education, healthcare, food, and water to everyone, the answer would be that we did do more good than bad.

But I don't see praising for humans in this story.

I think it's a bit early to say that the protagonist only sees the worst in humans. As he continues his life in Equestria, he'll learn about ponies and appreciate some stuff humans have come up with that the ponies did not.

Besides, Equestria is just as "bad" as Earth is, if not worse. But somehow I doubt he will be ranting about ponies as much as he does about humans.

Depends on his experience. I don't think Equestria is as bad as any given human country that I can think of purely based on the fact that ponies haven't industrialized murder of sentient beings like we did. But ponies also have weapons of mass destruction (alicorns), they are sometimes xenophobic, they seem to rely almost entirely on a group of six mares to deal with serious villains who want to enslave/destroy/etc Equestria, their initial tribal conflict rendered a ton of land uninhabitable, etc.

Why are you only critisizing? Focusing only on bad things is unhealthy and leads to depression.

I can assure you trying to be positive isn't how I dealt with my own depression some time ago. And I do not wish anyone to deal with it like I have. As for how I came to it, well... Like other people, I don't like focusing on negative things, but they do tend to crawl their way into my life.

It didn't feel like a joke.

I thought the words "totally worth it" would make it obvious, but alright.

And if saying that humanity deserves to die out for all the "bad" things we did is not considered hating,

That... was never said? He said that we might've done bad shit to ourselves and died off. He never even implied that we deserved it or whatever.

I agree, it's not hypocritical. Just wrong.

Being critical of humanity is wrong when you're a human?

Eh, your politics and diet do not make you a better person.

Veganism is a lifestyle, it's not a diet. Not wishing unnecessary harm on sentient beings, in my book, makes people better than those who think unnecessary harm on sentient beings is fine. As for politics, I used to be a bit racist, transphobic, homophobic, and a few other things I forgot the definitions of. I think I'm better than I used to be.

Especially when you adopt them to feel self-gratification.

Now that is just plain rude. I didn't become who I am to feel self-gratification, that's a really bad assumption to make.

Sorry if I sound a bit too critical.

Criticism is always welcome. I hope my response to it is also welcome.

Just write more ponies and less rants. Cheers.

I'll try.

10665983
How so? He likes Metal music like you do. He dislikes humans like you do. He likes ponies like you do. And it's only been 2 chapters and he already ranted about how bad capitalism, plastic and climate change are. So he shares your politics. Those feel very personal.

There are certainly plenty of people on this planet who share those points

Yep, Likes Metal, Check
Dislikes people in general, Check
Likes ponies, (looks around at all the pony porn on the walls) Check
Capitalism, plastic, Climate change bad, Well, two out of three ain't bad.

So Hi Elu, You certainly aren't the only person with those views.

As for Climate change, research the Medieval Warm Period. It was from 800 AD to 1300 AD. and warmed the earth so much Grapes and vineyards flourished in England and in countries above the 55 parallel, where its far too cold for grapes to grow today. Like we have summer and winter, the earth has warm and cold periods. Micro hot and cold cycle measured by the lunar calendar, Macro Hot and Cold cycles measured in geological time. (hundreds of years to tens of thousands of years per cycle)

This story is on my to do list, prob get to it this weekend.

The Monk
"Turning to the now gaping Shining Armor, “listen you little turd nugget, this is the holidays. A time in which no one is supposed to be a dick to another. So how about you pull on your big boy pants, and act like the adult you are supposed to be.” -Morgan83

great chapters! keep it up!

10665155
I remember looking for this exact premise years ago and finding this story. Then reading it and finding out that it was a self-insert gary stu fic. Disappointed, I gave up and started reading other things. Imagine my surprise upon finding that the story was being rewritten, and got featured! Imagine my disappointment upon finding that the problems with the first were just as present in the second.

The author doesn’t know enough about the topic to write about it, and based on the fact that we’re still having this problem years later, it seems to me that they refuse to learn. Additionally, they can’t help but to shoehorn their misanthropic views in at every opportunity. They completely ignore the conventions established by far better fictions on this site, and as a result, even from the first chapter, you can see important problems, from a story point of view, that may have been interesting to see the protagonist take on that are completely overlooked and solved at will. Adding in a slight obsession with the idea of sex that, while I wouldn’t quite call it excessive, definitely does stand out.

Let’s just say I’m disappointed, because this is a concept that I’ve been hoping to read a fic for since before the original upload of this story. I don’t mean to leave a scathing review, but I’m gonna call it as it is.

I predict that this rewrite will solve few to none of the problems present in the first iteration.

Good luck to you, and I hope I’m wrong

Elu

10667531

The author doesn’t know enough about the topic to write about it, and based on the fact that we’re still having this problem years later

I think it's an unfair critique, considering that the story only has three chapters, all of which cover the same day. They establish the protagonist's personality and thought process, and his thoughts don't just go to music right away because his priority is to survive. I can't just start writing about his relationship with music when it doesn't make sense.

Additionally, they can’t help but to shoehorn their misanthropic views in at every opportunity.

I am not misanthropic. I used to be, but now I recognize that humans aren't inherently bad or good - we depend on our surroundings. We are a product of our upbringing along with our experiences. On top of that, even if I were misanthropic, pointing out bad things about humanity and where they could lead is not being misanthropic.

Second, you are reading the thoughts of the character. They may or may not reflect my own thoughts. And do please consider that the character has reasons to feel the way he does. If he didn't, your critique would make sense. Otherwise, you're just saying that you don't like his personality based on subjective reasons, not more objective ones like characterization.

They completely ignore the conventions established by far better fictions on this site, and as a result, even from the first chapter, you can see important problems, from a story point of view, that may have been interesting to see the protagonist take on that are completely overlooked and solved at will.

This is where your critique is fair, in my opinion. I'd like to hear what would actually be interesting to see the character solve from your perspective.

Adding in a slight obsession with the idea of sex that, while I wouldn’t quite call it excessive, definitely does stand out.

All a part of the main character's characterization. You don't have to like the entirety of his personality or traits or wants.

Good luck to you, and I hope I’m wrong

I've taken all the criticism I've received so far to heart even if I don't agree that certain parts of it are fair.

The main character doesn't like the taste of sugar anymore!?! Q_Q Makes me a tad sad, as I love sugar. Basically a sugar-powered fae-like being...

Press 'F' to pay respects.

Elu

10673789
Nope, just the first one. Like a few people before you, you confuse it with Alicorn of Music written by another person, who asked me for permission after reading the original.

10673813
No. Wait. I think I got confused with the adolescence one. My bad

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