• Member Since 25th May, 2016
  • offline last seen Yesterday


"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing." - Georges Danton

Comments ( 33 )

I've been wondering what that fetish was called.

This is delightful. I loved the aftercare scene in the beginning, and the dynamics between Twilight and Luna there. And the CNC scene itself was very hot and very much enjoyed getting into Twilight's head for it.

A wonderful little roleplay you've set up here, Gara. Were it not for Manifest - in fact I'd say in concert with her - this fic's shown me just how a con non-con actually works.

TWilight was true to form, and that Luna's made peace with her inner demon to the extent she keeps it in full control to enhance a relation instead of break it apart... goodness, I'd just like to know how proud Celestia would be of this new Luna. Because that'd be a perfect complement to this awesome tale.

Good work, and thank you for a fantastic FIMFic.

I really, REALLY like the fact that there was so much focus on aftercare and the setting of boundaries. Far too many stories with BDSM content just focus on the "juicy parts" of the play and skip those very, very crucial steps altogether.

If they had also agreed on how to non-verbally communicate a safeword, this would've been absolutely perfect.

CNC or Rapeplay, ye.

Glad you enjoyed it and thank you so much for the help!

Thank you for the kind words Vis. It's not an easy fetish to do (either irl or in writing) but if you can figure it out, it's really rewarding.

Dang... now that you mention it, i should've. Thoughhhh i can say that the lack of this is why Luna didn't often restrain Twilight's muzzle (at least for long). Yes, yes, that's my excuse and i'm going with it.

You know... Bcause of this whole water talk, I have a feeling that you are a fellow HydroHomie...

i'm more of a Twilight than a Luna TBH.

I liked that Luna was very preoccupied with staying hydrated. A nice little detail.

This is pretty good. Although, the length of the actual scene could have been better. Don't get me wrong it was a good scene and it's well written but it just feels a little too short. In the beginning of the story you said that their previous bondage session had Twilight orgasm four times. So ending the scene after one orgasm seemed a little out of place to me. Although if you're just intending to show this as a step-by-step process then I suppose there may be a sequel in the works?

Idk, I think it's pretty realistic. When trying out an intense new kink, I'd want to have a shorter one then discuss how it could go better and what they liked and all, and then do a longer scene later when both partners are comfortable with it.

That's true, but...... I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that there was only one orgasm in that entire roleplay. With only Twilight being the one to have an orgasm where as the scene could have been extended a little longer to where "Nightmare Moon" could have made Twilight eat her to her own orgasm before giving her release. I understand that in a Dom/Sub relationship the Dom has to respect the subs boundaries but that scene felt more along the lines of "all give and no take." But maybe that's just me. :pinkiehappy:

Totally agree tbh, the story could've been longer but i also try to keep B-day gifts around 4-5k words or else they rapidly spiral out of control and i'll get bogged down in one for a month.

Danke Schoon.

A lovely and well-written story. :heart:

I particularly love the first scene. :twilightsmile:

I kind of wish the CNC scene had gone on a little longer, but then I do like to keep going right through the orgasm. But maybe it's a good place to stop before it gets too long or repetitive, and I doubt having put in a small time skip to avoid that would have done it any good after all. Ah already addressed in this thread 10380985

“You can stay hydrated for your Mistress.”

Ha ha. :rainbowlaugh: :heart:

I was wondering if I could judge your interest in it

Can you use "judge" like that?


Ouch, right in the immersion.

Suddenly a new source of light came to life, directly in front of her, a blue tint glowing around a horn

Nitpicking mode, engage. Some sort of invisibility spell or how did she manage to do the previous magic without a visible aura?

and body

and her body

the hoof coating in arousal

the hoof coatingd in arousal

“You’re horrible.”

“I am both of those things, yes,”

Did I miss something or did you forget to change the count after some editing?

position in front of

position in front ofbehind

and dragging it up from her taint to the very top, circling it around her victim’s clit

I assumed she was on her stomach on the floor until this point. You might want to make it a little more clear that she was being flipped over up when she's being put on the floor.

made her flinch

her -> Twilight
Just to make it obvious which 'her' it is from the start.

Fuck babe

This whole paragraph has too many fucks in it for Twilight dialogue in my opinion.

Even though this isn't technically non-consensual, I think you need the Noncon tag for this. People averse to rape will be averse to this story.

Is that really necessary with how blatantly obvious the story description is about what this story is? (Edit: Also the obvious answer is no, because the 'non-consensual'-tag description very clearly says that the tag is for non-con stories which this story is not.)

Tags have meaning and if they're used wrong they will eventually become meaningless. More so if they're used to mean the exact opposite of what they actually mean.

The only reason I can see for it needing to be tagged non-con is for those few that get triggered just by reading the description, and that just seems like a little too silly of a reason to tag a story as something it's not.

Tags mean things and when you start, willingly or not, tagging things as things they're not I get triggered.

i disagree since
1) i put a CW in the description that talks about the nuanced nature of CNC, which in my opinion would ward off those averse to that type of content.
2) The entire introductory scene is about scene building (in a BDSM context) and provides plenty of background information to show how much consent and forethought is put into this. This isn't just a non-con story that pulls the punch at the end and goes "LOL it was actually a roleplay."

The story is definitely depicting a nonconsensual sexual relationship. The characters are acting out the depiction. You're basically saying since it's a story within a story the tag shouldn't count, as though people who don't like to read about pretend rape (fiction) will enjoy reading about pretend rape (in the story).

It's fine, just wanted to voice an opinion. It doesn't bother me, but the warning tags are there for a reason. If I'd written this I would tag it but YMMV.

Ah, I see. :twilightoops:
By that logic we better go ahead and slap the tag on any story with any sex in it because if we ignore any establishing of consent that happens before the sex in the story then it's non-con. The tag is now meaningless. Good job. :facehoof:
(Edit: Maybe see about getting a tag for consensual non-consent instead because they're not the same and should therefore not be put in the same category.)

Alright no need to get combative.

May i ask if you read the fic?

Sorry, that could have been put more nicely by leaving out everything but the sentence pointing out the error in their logic, which could also have been worded more nicely.

It just irks me because of the miscategorization; if there is a categorization system and you're choose to use it (which they're advocating for doing) you should use it correctly, which categorizing based on ignoring a large chunk of the story is not.

Guys, it's fine. I was just volunteering an observation—I promise I didn't mean for it to sound critical.

i'm sorry i didn't mean to get overly defensive and i understand the tone of the question might've come across as that. It was a legit question because i actually want to know that, even with the context clues left in the fic, if i still did an inadequate job of portraying the consensual nature of the fetish i was attempting to explore.

No, that's fair. I'm not saying the fic feels rapey on the top level.

Mhm.. technically, CNC wider than that... it defined as any activity , short or long-term, which involves only initial consent and necessary condition of bail-out, but no dithering between those points. Yes, CNC still got a safeword, though its use meant full-stop of everything.

I'm glad that Luna know the benefits of proper hydration. HAIL HYDRATE!

This was so good. Everything felt right. Thank you for writing it.

very well done. Clearly written by someone who shares the kink and understands BDSM properly. :twilightsmile:

that comment made me snort in the middle of the break room. XD

Damn straight :P

Been involved in kink for close to a decade now.

First: you're welcome.
Second: If you haven't commented, i never would have realized that I misspelled "Hydrate". Its fixed now.

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