The Newborn Princess of Stars

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Comments ( 14 )

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Sanguine Blade

Sanguine Blade #1 · Jul 14th, 2020 · · ·

Wait so is she human with xenojiva armor instead of just being the xenojiva, or does she transform?

Viper Pit

Viper Pit #2 · Jul 14th, 2020 · 2 · ·

Intresting

King Rose

King Rose #3 · Jul 14th, 2020 · · ·

10331530
She's not wearing armor I can tell you that.
Don't want to give away too much though

Zapper Frost

Zapper Frost #4 · Jul 14th, 2020 · 2 · ·

Just like with the previous version, you have caught my attention

Sub-Zero

Sub-Zero #5 · Jul 15th, 2020 · · ·

Wow...ok I see you well I can say that I look forward for the next chapter

Jest

Jest #6 · Jul 15th, 2020 · · ·

Not a bad intro but your prose are very weak. The big thing that stuck out of me was the sheer repition I saw and you should avoid using the same word more then once. This helps with flow, and makes your sentances all around better. Obviously words like 'the' 'and' 'I' are exempt from this rule.

ARKLIGHT SNIPERSHY

ARKLIGHT SNIPERSHY #7 · Jul 16th, 2020 · · ·

Not bad... kinda liked to original idea better. This feels.... less? Will still read just I don't know man legit Xeno in Equestria was a bit more interesting to me.

Zigrth