Getting Ready for Bed

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Comments ( 9 )

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accidentallyoffensive

accidentallyoffensive #1 · Apr 27th, 2020 · 3 · 1 ·

Aww man, that cover pic, And voyeur Celestia, well done! Thumbs up, favorite!

LilSlipsy

LilSlipsy #2 · Apr 27th, 2020 · 1 · 1 ·

10203803
Thanks! Glad you liked it all!

QueenChrysalisForever

QueenChrysalisForever #3 · Apr 28th, 2020 · 5 · 1 ·

This was awesome! I love the idea of Celestia having plushies of herself in every colt and filly's room to watch them have some fun. ;)
I'd love to see this made into a series, seeing things like this from other characters as well!

WordyWrites

WordyWrites #4 · Apr 28th, 2020 · 5 · 1 ·

Neat idea, and well executed! I thought the subtlety added by things like Fluttershy not going for the toy Celestia would prefer kinda clashed with the rather over-the-top cross-room squirting, though. Only negative thing I could say, this was good ^.^

darkwalker787

darkwalker787 #5 · Apr 28th, 2020 · 1 · 1 ·

Nice

LilSlipsy

LilSlipsy #6 · Apr 28th, 2020 · 1 · 1 ·

10204490
Glad you enjoyed it! Certainly a lot of opportunities

10204568
Ah, good point. Maybe the splash zone was too big

10204576

dirty little secret

dirty little secret #7 · May 27th, 2020 · 4 · 1 ·

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Nice job making it very steamy without being extremely explicit.
-The fluffy, white robe she wore was cute -- this is definitely the kind of thing that would be better to show than to tell.
-The music coming from the other end of the house suggesting the contrary. -- verb tense issues.
-A sudden line of liquid suddenly splashed -- it was very sudden!
-The all the way across the room, bullseye squirting seems a bit unlikely.
-Wish I knew how her mother reacted to that.
-Wish we also got a little epilogue scene of what the real Celestia was doing as she watched this. And then Luna walks in on her, gets outraged. Then Celestia says, "Like you don't enjoy visiting wet dreams now and then!" Luna: "That's different!" (And, okay, I'll stop writing fanfic of your fic now.)
-This story has a really great balance between cute and sexy.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 75/100
Allure: 90/100
Enticement: 85/100
Immersion: 79/100
Prose Quality: 87/100
Total Score: 416/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

PonyDragon

PonyDragon #8 · Jul 9th, 2020 · 6 · 1 ·

Meanwhile, in Canterlot castle:

Guard: *slams the door open* "Your highness, I have the report you requested."
: *hides the doll between her hooves* "Knock on the door before entering!"
Guard: "Of course, your highness!"
: "... Did you see anything?"
Guard: "No, I haven't seen you are plaing with your doll again."
: "Good!"
Guard: *slams door close again*