- Member Since 19th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen April 7th
Kamen rider yokai
Part of the displaced group. Likes adventure, machines and foxes with cats. Dragon fan and part of toa coy's writer group.
Kamen rider yokai
Joined 19th Oct, 2013 ·
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Kamen rider yokai · 1k words · 15 3 · 833 views
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good start, though I'm having difficulties imagining this version of glitchtrap. if you could add a pencil sketch or something to help the viewers visualize it, that would be great.
so far i am liking this. though im hoping to see more character development from sunset as she enters the first stage. i hope that our main character will be able to be there for each of the levels and help sunset through them. maybe she could learn that as more and more of her is collected by sunset, she is able to interact with the environment and help sunset out directly by closing doors or forcing an animatronic out of the way and preventing a jumpscare. another thing i would love to see is the ORIGINAL glitch trap still being present, whether it being another entity within our main character's head, or it controlling the other animatronics in each of the levels, forcing sunset to race to get her put all back together.
All hail Glitchtrap.
I Love This story man just love the FN@F Lore to it all.
Dude I didn't know you were a FN@F fan that's awesome dude.
10180148
Yeah like I said in the description I would have done that but I'm not that good of a artist plus do you know how hard it is to take a photo of a hand done sketch and make sure the lines are fully visible? I would have to do a full on colored design to get something like that across. And you actually guessed what I planned from the start in regards to my version of glitchtrap helping sunset. As for the original glitchtrap well he won't show up until the Freddy Fazbear virtual experience is actually developed in the equestria girls world meaning after the pizzaria simulator location burns down. The version of the game sunset is playing was generated when marrie was displaced so she didn't cause issues on arrival. I'm going to be working at the next arc today which means finding the fnaf 1 section minigame phone calls. I got the tapes on a note in ever note so I can just copy paste them for the relevant chapters.
10180406
Never actually played the games but I love how the story needs to be worked to be found. And don't worry sunset will be more developed as a character as we go along.
Lovely story so far, however I feel compelled to ask if any of the (EQG) human analogs will retain their original names or if they'll recieve new ones as appropriate to the roles or defining traits they had in the FN@F series?
10180748
Still retain their original names. After all won't make sense if AFTON robotics was a thing only for the founder to not be named afton. And trust me vanny is going to appear but her relation with this glitchtrap is going to weird out marrie for a bit... Mainly due to mistaken identity with the original glitchtrap. And her yandare tendencies due to glitchtrap's messing with her head. I thought long about where I want this to go all of last week so I got a firm plan. Though when the actual displaced stuff happens like meeting other displaced sunset will have to get used to being dragged along for the ride.
Is the rabbit animatronic really from FNAF?
Dude we are talking about FNAF of course everything in it has animals of all kinds. StarLight Nove You are a new to FNAF so just stop it. And I love this story keep going more chapters more keep going I know you can.
10181254
If you're referring to Glitchtrap, then yeah he is. Like the story is saying, the original is literally a piece of malware, a computer virus, possibly leaning on Supervirus territory, that is literally an uploaded copy of the main villain of the series's mind. Think the horror movie Child's Play if they took the original and put that guy in an AI based toy instead of the Voodoo route since the actual AI one was sabotaged to kill by removing all safety parameters and allowing him to learn and copy everything he saw he horror movies, especially slashers. With no sense of right or wrong and programmed to protect his best friend while glitching heavily, you can see how that can turn into a serial killer free for all by having nothing to hold back.
Though in this case we're dealing with a serial killer who before dying in a fire and sent to Hell to be endless tortured by every single animatronic in the franchise even the docile ones who might simply talk to him instead and that be considered torment, had the foresight to make a copy of his mind and put in in a game based on his crimes, kinda meta there too. Glitchtrap is also based on Springtrap in appearance, the animatronic that became the killer after he literally got Springtrapped in Springbonnie, the duel animatronic suit used to lure in and kill the kids. He became him after dying in the suit and soul never resting, possessing it til the eventual 2nd fire he couldn't escape as he got out of the first one because it wasn't meant to seal him in as a trap.
10184441
Not to mention that there is still something akin to soul magic going on if the fact his daughter's soul is inhabiting the animatronic that killed her. And that it's still kinda voodoo as springtrap is a walking cybernetic zombie not a pretty image. Also I'm going to quickly go off the rails a bit next chapter even more because if Afton had his mind uploaded into a games programming well the version sunset is going through is different since marrie isn't malware the fact animatronic programming was used to make the game will be effecting the fnaf cast. I'm going to do the rest of the fnaf 1 segment and put them up all at once as well as you guys saw the nights are not that much discriptive for fnaf 1 so it's going to mostly be character interactions. And since I have seen ultimate custom night well toy chica is not going to have a funtime... Pun not intended for the funtime animatronics.
Won't lie, I wasn't expecting the sizable content drop but you won't hear me complain.
10185336
Do you really think I could just keep describing what goes on every night? It's mostly repetitive. Plus I have admitted never playing the games themselves but I have seen walkthroughs and watched YouTubers put the lore together. I'm using the help wanted game as a guide for this first story seeing as the story I have in mind would be a series. Heck I'm surprised I wrote over 10k words for this story in three days and got this far of reception without a beta reader. More detail will come as we get into things past fnaf 3. As the first 15 minigames are recreations of the original 3 games with it becoming more original from the next few segments. And that's including the curse of dreadbear dlc.
10185358
For what it's worth I think you're doing good but i'm hardly a critical type of person that said I would consider either compiling verified facts and sound theories surrounding the FNAF lore or enlisting the help of a person you know could provide said knowledge reliably. Now that's not to say or imply any lacking on your part i'm simply suggesting what came to mind to be thorough in what I feel would be a logical conclusion. Sadly I myself do not fall into either suggestion and only have internet on my phone due to my current residence.
10185370
Well this is a displaced fanfiction I'm only using the help wanted game to set the story then invoke the butterfly effect via minecraft fnaf roleplay shenanigans I'm only doing this for fun remember so I may take cues from the lorists in the fnaf community but it will become my own story once things get going. And I did the same thing when I crossed fnaf with naruto. I still can't believe I crossed them so well they felt like its own separate universe to me. I'm going to take what I learned from that crossover and focus on the two series equally. Plus at least now you know when in the story this is taking place at least.
10185438
A fair counter point in both your reasoning/intent in content, that said as long as you avoid anything outright outlandish or considered story killing or improperly linked/established in the displaced stories people oft lose track or the like, I feel you'll do good on your story, even if the story ends up flopping you'll still have gained experience and improve in whatever manner is appropriate or involved.
Keep going dude this is getting good.
I hope this story hasn't hit a rut and has died. I really want to see what happens next. when can we expect to see another chapter?
10203124
I am working on it sunset is going to be the focus next chapter as this story takes place about a week after the first equestria girls movie it will be about a month before the events of rainbow rocks happen. So this is going to also give me a chance to introduce a teen vanny into the story. Seeing as five nights at Freddy's 3 takes place 30 years after 1993 five nights at Freddy's 3 takes place in 2026 and if I remember right vanny in the help wanted teaser when the player gets the bunny mask is sounding like she's in her thirties. So since this is 2013 in setting vanny is going to be barely 14 years old. Just saying this now so you guys can't complain about why vanny is so young in this story when I introduce her.
10203943
updates are still coming, right? i want to read more of this!
10235163
Yeah they are I just been busy with Cole vocational stuff for the past couple of weeks. I'm still working on sunset's interlude and having her meet vanny as a teen before I continue with the main story... That and I recently got summoner's war to pass the time during quarentine. I'll burn myself out if all I do is write so I'm going to take at least a few days break to not overwork myself and catch up on things I like. Such as Minecraft roleplays I'm getting into as I find them fun to watch. I also can't forget to stay rested otherwise I won't be able to think. I'll work on the next chapter after lunch. There's a reason I don't set up a update schedule. I don't want to burn out my thoughts to force the story.
10235397
Ah i understand. I just got worried when i saw nothing new for the last 2 weeks. Hope things are well!.
10235783
Yeah I should have time this weekend at least. I actually forgot I signed up for activity kits from Cole vocational for something to do during quarantine. So yeah I'm glad I got copies of the tapes and phone calls in separate notes so I know where they are for reference.
Nice job dude keeps up with the good work.
10184717
Good because most funtime hers a bi***** at best spoiled ones ungrateful ones at worse
I'm interested!!!!!
I can't wait to see more of this, I'm really enjoying it.
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10279230
Glad to see new readers! I'm still looking for a new cover art for this story so if anyone can properly do a Marie/glitchtrap pic with the suit looking like something from the toy generation but clearly a female glitchtrap then I would be glad cause as I mentioned before I'm not that great a artist. I'm just glad I'm going to be receiving a laptop from my sister once isolation ends so I can properly work more as a result. Phones are not that great for story writing so it's good to have something to change things for the better.
10180148
I actually agree with you. Possibly when the next game comes out it will be easier
This is pretty good, but I recommend getting a editor. Or editing these chapters yourself
" We can still Build one to be modular to simulate growing up” vanny deadpanned. that moment when you remember that this is cannon lore that happend
HA!!!!! I remember that one!!!!!
ugh. springtrap is going to be soooooo pissed. i expect many shenanigans for them to pass fnaf 3
10292006
And I also answered why I didn't put the original glitchtrap into this version of the game because technically he already was there as springtrap. People should have realized it when I revealed the animatronics in the game were sentient.
Two words love it keep going you've got the puppet down now for Afton then nightmare then SL Fnaf then the vents hope you can make the space a little bigger for two people. Also, keep going I love this story.
10292514
Thanks but I still have the reactions of the rest of the fnaf 2 phone calls to go and a bit of comedy next chapter. And don't forget I'm also doing curse of dreadbear just so I cover everything.
I have an ironic idea for Afton.
You know, I have a question. Just to sate my curiosity, are you going to include the Curse of Dreadbear or is it just the main game? I'm actually curious now if the Nightmare and Funtime animatronics are sentient too in that regard. I figured Circus Baby (who is Elizabeth Afton) would be, but how would she act?
10293627
I am doing curse of dread bear and as for the how the rest of the animatronics will act you will just have to wait and see.
10293293
I would love to hear this idea over a pm.
Please make more chapters with the withered animatronics, please I would like to see where withered foxy gets annoying and the shadows should be there to please.
10294059
Well, night 3 of fnaf 2 is where the withereds start to show up. So we should see them in the next chapter.
10294067
You would be right there... And expect sunset to have a few reactions to their looks while Marie has to deal with a enraged Vixen if you remember the night 3 phone call and the fact sound travels in a mostly silent building.
10294926
I barely remember any of the phone calls, but it will be interesting to see what you mean.
Yeah, I'm sorry, but that's just wrong on so many levels. If Foxy doesn't like being watched, then you shouldn't watch him on the cameras. But if he becomes more active if the cameras are off, then that would mean he likes being watched. Scott really didn't think that through when he was making that audio log.
10296863
Well I am using the actual phone calls from the games since I'm using the fnaf help wanted game as a guide and the phone calls are pretty much deeply set for the lore. In fnaf one Scott's character as phone guy is nervous for dealing with the animatronics for his time as night guard. It's understandable that he would make that mistake due to nerves at least.
10296875
I get that your using the tapes from the game, I just think that 'Phone Guy' wouldn't be that nervous to make that big of a grammar mistake. Maybe Scott when was first making the game.
10296894
How would you sound after dealing with killer animatronics for a couple of days and trying to stay alive while experiencing trauma inducing nightmare fuel and not thinking clearly as a result. Let's just agree that Scott must have a reason for wording the calls like that and not derail the story with an argument. I'm the author and I just want to tell a story as I have this first story all planned out and I don't want to get distracted by arguing over certain points of the lore I'm using for it. I don't need that particular migraine popping up.
I liked the idea of the old look better.
10299113
Don't worry once Marie gets her own body out in the real world rarity will recreate her outfits so she has something to wear. I only changed the look so people had a proper description of her look as glitchtrap. Not much about the outfits style actually changed just colors and more modest with trying not to look like a litteral bunny girl you usually see at Las Vegas. She is not that kind of entertainer.