The small Appalachian town of Dashville is full of quiet citizens doing quiet things. They mind their own business.
International party superstar Pinkie Pie does not mind her own business. In fact, that was what sent her on the run in the first place. Going home to her family seemed like a good choice.
She didn’t realize that they might not agree.
Part of Mitch H's Dashville 'verse
Prereading by Shrink Laureate
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The most awe-inspiring thing about this Pinkie Pie? Her indomitable bladder and cast-iron spine. I've done straight-shot runs up from and down through Florida, but to do it without breaks?
I'd say that Pinkie missed her calling as a long haul trucker, but they have federal regulations - lots of them! - forbidding exactly what she just did.
Also: woo! I've been looking forward to this!
Stay home with a family that never seems to have understood you and join what might be a dying industry or choose yourself and be the black sheep for life ...lord if that ain't every small town in america
Heh. Yeah, the local convention doesn't work well here when her potential alias has already been taken.
Ah, yes. A tale as old time.
Oof. This is going to be painful, but I'm sure it'll be a fantastic read. Eagerly looking forward to more.
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Dashville is...well, kind of that. More over on the group.
"Her mother put a roast and another place setting on the table"
She appears to have already done this?
"to distribute hugs as her mother set another place at the table"
Well, this looks like a good start. :)
So, that's the Pies at prayer. At least some of it. You might have picked out from the bit about Granny Pie speaking Plattdeutsch in her youth something of her roots. That dialect is still the marker today for the various sects in the United States known generally as the Pennsylvania Dutch. How did Granny Pie go from a childhood in some pacifistic Amish-esque country church (Pie-tism?) to rampaging through war torn Europe like a barbarian princess? I figure a rumspringa gone wildly off the rails, hitting exactly as the OSS was recruiting American German speakers.
It says something about Granny Pie that when she came back home, it was to a new church where they did crazy dangerous things like juggling rattlers in front of the congregation.
So the church the Pies go to is a snake handling one?
Lovely.
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Ah, thanks for the information!
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[wikis]
Ah, and nteresting; thanks. I had a vague idea already that this was a thing, but I'm not sure I would have looked it up without your comment.
Jesus. Can't say I'm surprised, though. It's also a nice change from the usual generic Amish, too.
...So, now I find myself wondering: exactly how many guns does Granny Pie keep in the house? Because it now feels like it might come up.
I enjoyed the chapter. :)
Well, some interesting developments. :)
Maud is the bitter, angry one?
I did not see that coming.
Okay, we already knew Pinkie was on the run, but apparently whatever she's fleeing is so bad that the police may be looking for her four states away! What the tartarus did Pinkie get into?
And the CMC appear
Damn, so Sombra either has people or subcontractors in Dashville ... Twilight and Flurry aren't as safe as they think they are
That's an interesting saying ... I thought the Apples were the ones who did the Countryisims.
We have five of the Mane6, and all three of the CMC, I wonder when Rarity will come to town? (And when everyone will come together
)
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Mitch has plans for Rarity, so I guess her story might be forthcoming.
10183914 Cool, I do have to wonder how our fashionista will deal with "podunck nowhere" Dashville
So, the park that Metternich Park is based on, needless to say, doesn't have an 88mm FlaK gun trophy as a centerpiece. In fact, it doesn't have any military equipment at all; that was the 28th Division Shrine's deal, the next valley over. Even they didn't have any captured equipment. But in general, you can find these sorts of displays in town squares and town-parks all through the Appalachians. Napoleon twelve-pounders, Shermans, French 75mms, the occasional M-60 or M-48 Patton. But only a town the Pies call home would have an enemy capture sitting in the middle of the city as a war-trophy.
Given what Marble pulled off in this episode, I think it's pretty obvious that whatever makes Pinkie, Pinkie is inherited. It may or may not jump generations, but even looking at Limestone - how is it that all the cops know her name, but none of them seem to be able to find her? Her name might as well be 'Limestone Duke', but Soft Eyes is hardly a Sheriff Roscoe.
'Duke' is not really an EqG name, though. Unless it's the slang - put up your dukes!
Hrm. Iron Duke? Duke Out... seems like a boxing family.
(Also, Boss Hogg is a very, very EqG name. But Washington County is hardly Hazzard.)
Got a bit behind and had both these chapters at once, but enjoyed both of them too. :)
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It totally is
So, I am somewhat led to wonder if that 88 was disabled by filling the barrel with concrete or some other permanent process, or just by, say, the firing pins being removed and "lost".
Why, no, this is completely unrelated to Granny Pie contemplating a visit to the park after hearing about the dangerous gangsters hassling her family. :D
That's still a terrible, terrible pun. I forget, did Großvater ever get a real name? Although I guess it's true that tertiary characters in this franchise tend to get stuck with titles rather than names - Mayor Mare, Mr. and Mrs. Shy, etc.
I'm still convinced that those aren't Fluttershy's parents' names, Rainbow Dash just never bothered learning their names, and they're too timid to correct her.
I love this detail so much. As if Granny Pie and Großvater were up to all sorts of Kelly's Heroes style wacky adventures throughtout the Fifties and Sixties.
This is nice. I told totally that the various abandoned quarries north of the town which is a model for Dashville in Pennsylvania are infested with turkey vultures, which for some reason like to nest in abandoned quarries.
[after Pinkie reads the plan]
Oh, I did think that was maybe moving a bit fast. :D
And I assume, of course, Maud also had a rifle with her, just in case a bit of sniping was needed.
Of course, I was also wondering why the police, who are also known to monitor Pinkie's social media, hadn't also shown up, so, you know, the plan might have some flaws.
Still. :D
[reads the next paragraph]
Oh, right, Limestone's is much more sensible. :D
You know, their parents may have forbidden war councils, but from what Pinkie's said to and about her grandmother, and now this, I think some traits may have skipped a generation. :D
Marble is surprisingly bloodthirsty
You know, even if Pinkie manages to befuddle and bamboozle Autumn into leaving her alone, the rest of the Kirin are not likely to be so easy to dissuade, especially if they decide Pinkie has become enough of a problem/embarrassment to give up on making money off her carcass and just go straight for "resolving" the problem.
Hah, nice. :D
They're kind of like velociraptors that way.
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...Oh, Pinkie. Just. Pinkie. :D
A fun story I found this, though; thank you for writing!
I hope in jail, Autumn Blaze puts on a prison production of Phantom of the Opera.
I'm afraid I am confused and afraid regarding a great many things. I don't want to know but I can't look away. Part of that expectation is set by Pinkie Pie and the other part by the promise of festering toxic relationships in Appalachia.
I do appreciate that Pinky is swimming in dangerous waters but consistently trying for an outcome where the people she likes are happy and no one gets hurt.
Ah, the joys of pony naming conventions.
I do wish I'd followed along as this updated, but reading the whole thing at once was a delight. Thank you for a fantastic read and some very intriguing questions about the deeper truths of the Pie family. And just imagine what would happen should Ponk PK ever cross paths with a certain Miss Dusk Shine...
Ohh.
So they're not Amish after all. c.c;;
Hang on, Party Cannon is a real band, I get that reference! Did that actually happen to them? :O
Does she keep the windows up in case she's attacked? :V
Shoney's? D: Gag!
Yeah, I wouldn't expect much out of Browns vs. Lions, either. :B
Also, huh. I kinda figured that was Sunset, though I don't think she exists in this AU? Not sure how I didn't put two together.
In this universe, I have to assume that's short for Zucchini.
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It actually took me a bit to realize it would be "Zuck" in our world, because I'm just used to words that end in a hard k sound being spelled with two c's nowadays.
I'm so happy. :D This makes up for Holder's Boulder not actually being the Chekov's Gun that ends the conflict. But damn did I enjoy that scenario!
This plan was cockamamie from start to finish. o.o
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They be related.