*Set before the events of The confrontation*
After meeting Smolder´s family, Spike longs to get answers from his past once again. He and Twilight have a huge argument, which causes Spike to run away from home. Twilight and her friends will search for him with the help of Starswirl, who asked Twilight for help on a quest, Stygian, the Pillars and Discord. In the meantime, Spike will meet an ancient Equestrian legend who might have those answers that he´s looking for.
Cover art by Queen Cold
Chapters (8)
You should link to the previous story. I know you've only written two so far, but it's just in case you decide to write more in the future.
Wow. Impressive and moving chapters, especially the last one.
Great Lion King references.
I wonder who was it that saved Spike.
10201406
I had to. Thank you so much.
10200954
Do you mean putting a link?
10202192
You´ll figure out in next chapter
10202254
Fair enough.
How did it got destroyed? Maybe cause by Scorpan’s betrayal, some enemies of Tirek attack it?
I´ll explain next chapter
This is why Twilight will never been in a relationship.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarsh.
Mega Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsh!!
10216777
Thank you for bringing the real Grogar in. Ah, it’s always refreshing to see him within a surprise, unlike Discord’s Grogar.
10226140
You´re welcome. He´s a very fun character to write.
Great chapter! Very intense and emotional. There are several typos and grammatical errors you need to correct.
“Said” should be lower-cased.
There should be a comma after the words “distract” and “make him sleep”.
Again, another comma is needed after “obviously”.
Omit the first “brother” word (Trying not to laugh out loud).
This should be revised like this:
Once the ruby stopped glowing, Starswirl destroyed it which freed his bound friends.
Both periods are missing at the end of dialogue.
Who is “she”? Pinkie or Twilight? I’m sure it’s the latter, but it would be nice to identify who. Lastly...
I really don’t think that part is necessary to add. Remember, show, don’t tell. You can showcase Discord giving evidence of his knowledge that someone is watching him instead of just telling it. You don’t have to rewrite it here in the last paragraph; just omit this part. The last chapter can be a good place to do it. Just a suggestion.
*****
Whoa, that was a lot! Again, I really enjoyed this chapter. You’re doing great, Dianabel. Excited for the epilogue!!
10237643
but thanks for pointing them out.
Wow! I did lots of mistakes, this time
10238399
No problem, buddy.
Dude I LOVED the story, it was just fantastically written. Good job
10248875
Thank you
Great job, Dianabel. Really enjoyed it!
10248964
Thank you!
10250365
You’re welcome
I simply cannot wait any longer for the finale! When's it coming out?!
10325769
Sooner than you think
I've found this story while ago and I really enjoyed it. I also love your cover of Spike and Scorpan it really looks like it could be a real episode which it should' ve been so we can into more of Spike's origins and finally meet Tirek's brother. The argument between Spike and Twilight made cry a little I could totally picture it in my head and the characters of Garble and Smolder's parents were brilliant I'm also glad you made the character Grogar real keep up the good work 😁👍
10400311
Thank you
I LOVED this story!!! This should've been in the series!!! Scorpan deserved to have had a story about him and Spike's origins deserved to have been explained in this story unlike the series who never used those two things!!!
Love your work, Dianabel!!!
10900316
Thank you
10900481
Your welcome! Also: I forgot to mention that this story also would've been a reference to Spike and Scorpan's relationship like in the G1 series!
10901085
Indeed
This chapter almost made me cry and I’m not kidding why would you write this it hurts to even read it.
11023574
Sorry, but don´t worry it gets better and more light-hearted