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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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And when there's no point, we find one.
If we can't find one, then we make one.
And then we live with it.
And if we can't find one or make one, well...
The world's big. I'm sure there's somebody that has an idea on what to do. Just got to keep trying.
Loneliness can drive us insane.
This was more serous then I thought it would be... Loved it!
Stories like this tend to have far more meaning than those in which attempt to have 'meaning'. The so-called 'meaningless' can often be very meaningful to a keen eye and/or someone who is able to decipher the tale in a way that they are able to relate to.
For me, I see this tale as why I always feel like Spike is my most relatable character. He's always been 'different'. He's always wanted to be a key part of Twilight's life along with finding his own destiny along the way. However his path went largely unchanged as the series concluded. He was given some moments of validation but to the degree in which these affirmations impacted his ongoing day-to-day life were few and far between.
As this story tells well, Spike was often 'humored' by Twilight's friends. A lot of his 'growing pains' were largely not given a lot of thought beyond dealing with them as they came. He was a boy in a girl's world. He was a dragon amidst a society of equines. He was also set to extremely high standards for a child who, at best, was but a few years older than The Cutie Mark Crusaders.
The CMC, Mane 7, and so many others around him grew and developed over the years. These changes were long-lasting and gave all their lives more meaning. Spike had some moments but they always quickly lead back to "Assistant To Twilight Sparkle".
For Spike, times prior to Season 1 were special as Twilight gave him all her attention. She needed him and he needed her. However this changed upon reaching Ponyville.
Now, in my translation, I remember growing up knowing that, one day, I would be totally blind. I was perpetually teased as I struggled through mainstream education. I tried so hard to fit in but never could as my low vision made me quite unwanted in many circles. I took to finding ways into the computer labs and working the school library to escape times of torment.
However, while growing up, I was always told that I'd have my eyes fixed once I stopped growing. That I would 'fit in' and my talents would be appreciated.
Through college, I learned the promises of having my sight fixed were all well meant lies. Though, despite still feeling like an outcast I was informed how employers 'liked' people with disabilities because they knew we were hard and dedicated workers.
Then I got my first real job after acquiring my MBA. I worked very hard and learned quite harshly how employers valuing the disabled was a lie. Before I was terminated at Job 1, I was asked to sit in the center of the small-business room and 'apologize' for how my disability inconvenienced my coworkers. (This is no joke.)
I then got another job through a disability-focused job recruiter at a company known for respecting diversity. The contractor not only underpaid me for my work but the employer took no time to put my talents to use. I was given projects that never went reviewed. What kept me alive, along with eventually getting hired, was how I 'forced' myself into other areas so I wouldn't be abandoned to be a 'token' in a cubicle.
I had felt I had worth and was doing great. However my company changed from non-profit to for-profit, new systems were introduced, and my adaptable technology started to fail. This got numerous responsibilities pulled from me and those at the disability recruiter, who had people working my department, helped me not. Eventually I was dragged into a surprise meeting where the HR Rep and my Supervisor allowed my Director to tell me how worthless I was for 40 minutes. (Of course, none of this went documented and he got away with monthly statements of discrimination towards me before I was forced out)
Those people at the disability recruiter never reached out once during a time where I was ready to take my life for how, between almost having no sight, survived numerous surgeries, was at the lowest of my lows as I was apparently deemed worthless.
At my current job, I have had to go on a Leave Of Absense as the technology used to service those I work for has gone very downhill to where I can not keep up being a positive worker who, now, has zero eyesight and a missing eyeball. It isn't looking good for me to be able to return either. :(
In reflecting, all I ever wanted to be is a Spike. I think Spike only ever wanted to feel 'validated' for his efforts while having the same opportunities those arund him had. He liked being the one every creature could depend on but, sadly, he was largely forgotten with a finale that showed him as a lone dragon whom traveled the lands on Twilight's behalf before returning and doing it again. He had a 'purpose' but not a life. What self-value did he really gain that he could be proud of that wasn't only a temporary statement, action, etc. that had no real lasting effect. Even his ongoing traumas from Garble were downplayed by the end. Years of torment meant to be pardoned because poor Garble felt he couldn't be a 'Beat Poet'. Quite a slap in the face for the years Spike was tormented, injured, and put down by Garble. Kind of like one of those, "Suck it up and deal" moments that pardoned Garble without ever validating the hurt Spike had endured to his young heart for so long.
Perhaps, in some way, you, too, feel like Spike? You feel like the world around you grows and develops as you are in an endless loop of 'two-steps forward and one-step back'. You learn from life experience but always end up back where you started with the spark of hope that, one day, you can find a place that truly values you for you and your talents. Where you can feel special instead of as like a sidekick easily replaced when no longer needed?
Just my thoughts. :)
Ignoring the meta narrative for a moment, I was always sad that spike gets sidelined. Even in like the one episode with the power ponies that "addresses" the issue, he never has his own agency. I wish that he would have became the leader of the dragons, or had just done something for himself instead of just lounging at the castle for twenty years while life passed him by.
I don't know what you're going through, but I know that you can be better (if you aren't already) than spike. I wish you the best of luck in whatever path you take. Even if you fail, at least you can say that you kept moving forward.
The thing that really bothers me is that Spike had the chance to be somebody. He could have been Dragonlord yet turned it down. He could have used his great intelligence and made the dragons lands greater then ever. He could have been a great leader. Yet he didn't to stay the Assistant of Twilight.
That was the perfect opportunity to be his own character. Yet he was too attached to Twilight. Perfect example being his deep fear as shown by Sombra of him being abandoned by Twilight. Becasue of this he let the chance slip by and once he got over that fear and no longer relied on Twilight for meaning and purpose.
Well, it was too late. Seemingly forever relegated to being an assistant with no real impact or value. No real appreciation or anything of worth.
With at the worst of times being a punching bag and slave for others. Looking at you Rarity the most. With at the best being actually treated like an individual for once.
Hell. How many years did he have to sleep in a fucking dog bed before actually someone said "Hey, isnt he a living sentient being with thoughts and emotions. Not a god Dam pet." Not to mention literally becoming one in the human world. How downright demeaning is that.
Thus for years the only value he got was being of use to others. Never given proper direction to grow into his own and not have to rely on the validation of others in order have some self worth.
Its sad and sickening. Spike deserves better. Alot better then what he got.
Spike doesn't matter.
Of course there's a point!
Spike is the quintessential Outsider: an alien in a foreign land who, because of his alieness, feels cutoff from the herd.
He thinks he isn't important and that his friends don't take him seriously enough. He wants to be a hero, someone that matters, but is stuck as being Twilight's assistant, feeling like a non-entity. He's worried about the future of wandering and clinging anxiously to the past: to Twilight and her cuddling.
In this fic we see Spike grown up and standing at the crossroad of life, fearful, not knowing what awaits either north or south, east or west. He wants to move ahead, sick of the rut that is his current life, but the dread of unknown is too strong and so he retreats back into the safety of the usual.
A very good representation of the inner life of an adult of above average intelligence, with the hope, the nausea, and the dread. And it does propose an answer to the existential anguish:
Whether you end up as hero or not, you got to take care of friends first. Succes is good; but does success matter if the end you're a alone, swelling with regret about the missed opportunities with your family and friends?
You're a good writer.
Far better than you suspect.
10008112
In the show's defense, there was a valid storytelling reason for Spike to turn down being the Dragon Lord, as it demonstrated to the onlookers that he wasn't looking for the position for the power, greed, or fame like most of the other dragons--he just wanted it so he could help his friends, thus setting an important example for Ember to follow when she took up that mantle instead, one she's done a fair job doing. No, it didn't help Spike as a character in the long run, but it was important for the plot line of the moment, and I can't honestly say I blame the show for doing that, especially as the end goal was to teach a lesson in friendship. Indeed, in conversations like this, I feel like it is sometimes important to remember that the show's goal was always just that--teach friendship--and to look deeper into it is to miss the whole point of the show at times.
But that being said...
...I agree there was plenty more that could've been done with Spike as a character. It's just, from my own experience writing for him, I've found he really is a pretty selfless character most of the time, less concerned about himself and more concerned of the needs of those around him. It's his core defining trait, really, and it's a great one to have, something more people in the real world could stand to have, honestly, and I do think that was part of the show's intent, writing him the way he was. He's good at just sort of falling into that role without consciously meaning to.
So on one side, I'm not all that surprised he remained faithfully and loyally to the sidelines as the eternal assistant to creatures playing a far bigger role in things than he likely ever will, and it's sort of admirable that he's not only accepted that but, most times, seems content with it. But at the same time, I know being selfless only gets one so far, and there are times where one needs to think about their own needs over that of others and prioritize that, or you lose yourself, or worse, your motivation to keep going. Everybody has their own well-beings that they need to pander to from time to time, and the argument can certainly be made that Spike never really got such chances for that throughout the course of the show, fewer still ones that really lasted beyond one maybe two episodes.
Still...it would've been nice if Spike had been given some more chances where he and he alone could truly shine...
I don't even know what this is about. There is no point.