• Member Since 18th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

B_25


Thanks for Coming In! | Retired

T

We all want to be liked. If we could, we'd take acceptance and respect, but, for the time being, we'll take just being liked. What happens when a dragon dislikes us? Will we take the time to convince him otherwise, that we all are worthy of being liked, not on what we have done, but on who we are?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 36 )

i wrote this while ha;f-awake.

enjoy the stream of conci0suness.

This is the best thing I've ever read

Awesome fiction, I think the mare itself was the Princess Luna. And I really want to read the sequel of that.

9024772
He'd make a great therapist.

Deep!:moustache:
Psychology is a powerful thing.:twilightsmile:

Whoa dude I don’t wanna learn right now it’s summer

9024903
My bad fam

So the said mare was LUNA?

This was great the only thing that makes me sad is that we didn't get to see more cases of Spike breaking down ponies that came to talk to him. But I guess the Dash was so taxing trying to do all the mane 6(7) would have been too much. But at least we got to see one really great one lol.

Damn it, I just woke up. You make me wanna go back to sleep.

Hey, B_25.

I dislike this fic.

Convince me to like it.

In all seriousness, while the writing here is pretty solid, the concept fell kind of flat for me. I commend you on your pacing and structure, though.

9025642
Thank you for the kind critique,

GG, making me think before bed. Now I'm never gonna fall asleep

This is a nice short story. Perfect relaxing thoughts to fill my head before I go to sleep.

As a member of a debating club, seeing someone with any proclamation in the street, asking me to argue with them, would make my day.

9024820
He'd be a good lawyer.

I don't really know what to think of this story. I mean, it wasn't offensive or badly written in a mechanical sense. I don't think it really entertained me or edified me either. I suppose i feel very neutral about this.

9025136
that's what i gather

9028782
Wonder what she looked like, any idea's?

I could just yell "This is a masterpiece times a trillion" and move on, or I could give some feedback.

You could have written the exact same thing with any number of characters taking Spike's place, and replacing Spike with another character wouldn't have really changed anything. Hell, this could take place in another setting, and nothing would change. You could put this un-fleshed-out idea into pretty much anything, and things would only change if the setting was so inherently different from MLP that it FORCED things to go down differently, like if this was attempted in Caesar's Legion or something.

Calling Rainbow Dash lame has been done before, a fic where Rainbow Dash makes an ass of herself has been done before, and it seemed like you were going to do every member of the mane six, but then you got lazy, and you didn't. You didn't feel like writing a scene where the ponies in Ponyville Rainbow Dash saved stick up for her, and then Spike calls them shallow for only liking her because she saved them, and you pretend that's a legit reason. You skip over every character you could dissect, while telling us Spike's super cool because he does it all offscreen, and then you skip right to the shilling. This story exists to shill that one mare, but since she's an imaginary figment within Spike's imagination, the shilling doesn't accomplish anything. It doesn't make me interested in seeing a sequel starring her. You skip directly from the "Lol fuck Rainbow Dash she's egotistical and worth less than Twilight" to "And then Spike realized this whole thing was dumb". But you didn't feel like writing "And then Spike ran to Rainbow Dash and befriended her again", so you made the whole thing a dream.

Is there any last-second twist more unsatisfying than "And it was all a dream"? Probably not, but I reckon the only way to make it worse is "It was all a dream, but he decided to not do what he did in his dream".

You could have written this story in under 200 words. Perhaps even under 100. I could probably write this in under 50, no, 25, no, 20 words. You could probably express this whole thing in under 10 words, or in a badly photoshopped four-panel meme comic that uses that "Change my mind" meme.

Honestly, I'm disappointed. I thought you were going to try and do something deep and philosophical with this character and the characters of this setting, but then you didn't. You just hi-fived yourself for pretending to do that.

Please flesh out your ideas more next time around.

9028978
Your critique, while valid at certain points, makes a lot of assumptions as to what you would like to have seen happen, as well as my perception of the story itself. This fic was written as a cathartic, stream of consciousness piece that allowed me to offload my thoughts, which, by the way, was the theme that, if someone could tear someone did with cold logic cuz they're good at arguing, then they're also capable of building someone up and convincing they're good. A lot more scenes and writing would be required to do this, and I didn't have the time to do so.

In the future, try not to assume what you think the author's perceptions are, and what they, according to you, should have to write to be deemed worthy to be posted on the site.

All the best.

9029027
Alright then, sorry. But in that case, what did you try to do with this fic?

9029029
Write bout a guy who tears others does, while with the same intensity, could do the opposite with it being just as truthful.

Throw in a half-baked concept, a dash of a meme, and sleep deprivation, and you have this fic

9027277
What else can I add to the list of job recommendations for Spike?

Oh I know! He would do great as a dad/Foal sitter.

P.S, Please help the cause and think of more jobs for Spike.

This was very silly, but quite enjoyable.

Spike would be excellent at CinemaSins or Wisecrack :moustache:

It was nice, wasn't fond of the copout feel of "it never really happened" thing though. Aside from that it's nice.

Riz

9029070
Can you link me the cover pict for the story please ?

Not sure if I should be mad Dash was nearly in tears by the end or happy it was all a dream so...I can't decide.

An interesting thought piece. I'm very fortunate to read this.

That was pretty. Poetic, too.

There was a strange joy to it. Destroying someone meant they could never return to what they once were, a victory beyond the temporary [...]

How ironic. If Spike succeeded, he probably would have destroyed an important part of himself.

I suspect people think for the same reason they need others' thoughts: to settle feelings of incompleteness, to feel emotionally connected, to make actions more purposeful. It's unfortunate that overly clever people can convincingly "complete the picture" however they like, or find purpose in whatever happens to be demotivating them at the time. Like having the ability to run 30mph, and only being able to see through a squint. It's good that a cute mare could point Spike towards a more light-hearted spirit. Life is just better when clever people are nice, and not running into walls.

9632355
I agree to an extent.

I don't think being good at one particular skill makes you better than anyone else. More than that, we need other people to cover for our own deficiencies, and the same is true for them to us. The theme of this story never goes that deep, however. It's more basic than that. Really, for the same reason we can talk people down, we can also talk them up—and both ways would be as legit and genuine as the other. You can find some good, and some bad, in most, if not all people.

Also, long time no see!

9632360
I don't know about better, but some people do seem to leave a larger mark on me than do others. I think a lot of people have a tendency to want to make sense of the things they believe, and in that particular regard, clever people tend to be disproportionately impactful. Sometimes I get emotional just watching people be nice, and in that regard, nice people tend to have a disproportionate impact on me.

Do we need people to cover for our deficiencies, or do we need them to help us see them properly enough to fix them? Maybe a bit of both, but I would never take the cover over the fix.

9632385
I can agree with that.

A wonderful story filled with insanity. Great work B.

Spike has been converted

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