- Member Since 22nd Mar, 2015
- offline last seen 7 hours ago
Mocha Star
I'm here to write my way into your hearts and infect your minds.
Mocha Star
Joined 22nd Mar, 2015 ·
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Mocha Star · 100k words · 88 36 · 1.1k views
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i Should've known harmony would pull some shit, even in canon it messed with the student-six which I always found sketchy. Also got to call fowl on the whole cozy glow thing, it waited until the last possible second to interfere.
The thing with the mean-six not getting defeated or reformed is also up there of sketchy things the tree of harmony did that has me questioning its role in the show.
9994111
Well, we're gonna find out where its going from here. Harmony's gonna get more info next chapter, too.
WOO! Happy to see Snickers back! Some fun drama, cuteness, and I love the overall chapter length.
FINALLY! I GET TO FIND OUT THE DAY OF A THOUSAND SORROWS! WOOO!!!
Its pretty sweet that Silver Spoon is all crushing over the colt that kicked her ass. I feel that would mean she'd be more inclined to swoon over him acting tough, rather then the other 3 fawning over him like its been ingrained in their brains.
Also, Snickers seriously needs more bros to hang out with. I'd be his bro if I actually had something resembling an OC.
Definitely looking forward to the next chapter. Finally, some major backstory over what made this while society in the first place.....and Snickers ain't gonna b's able to hear any of it.......fffffuuuuuu
9995458
I've been so excited to finally get the explanation of the day of 1,000 sorrows out, but it wouldn't come along naturally! Gah. Finally, little guy gives me the chance to put it out there.
Silver Spoon, given her follower nature, just seems to be the one to follow the bad boy and would have a desire to tame him and make him hers, as shown by her following Diamond Tiara all those years. A chance to be alpha over a 'hunk' just fits her.
Maybe she'll tell him once they can talk again.
MAYBE they'll have to start from square one. Probably magic. Definitely gonna happen, though.
....dann....
This chapter was pretty well written, but the heaps of "Snickers is special" that have been bandied about don't quite feel justified by the narrative and the contemporary context of the story telling.
9995632
Totally get it, like other things in the last story, this one has run its course and is just reasoning why colts are wanted and guarded.
It actually plays more into the future, just so you know. ^_^
References to come and events to happen, and all that.
judging by the story I've been told, it contradicts their treatment of Snickers.
That or for some reason Snickers is suddenly being treated like he's the chosen one to the point that Rarity is getting shamed by fluttershy on her parenting methods which were working to my knowledge.
Hm. I'm concerned with the amount of sudden hate Rarity's getting here. It just doesn't seemed justified. And I mean that I don't recall her behavior in the previous story matching up with these descriptions. Could be me forgetting... but it feels off, narratively.
Bwahahaha!!!
The foals' insults are fantastic, by the way.
I always loved the orc dialogue in the Lord of the Rings books, and this sort of stuff is perfect.
Augh. Why is this chapter so short!? And it ends on a cliffhanger!?!?
Absolutely based.
Also... why is the last third or so centered?
Didn't see this coming.
10013771
Fixed. Thanks, I hand type the code and forgot a slash.
10013772
Personality crossover! Fucking Harmony is going all out this time... Probably not the best option, but Harmony is magic and doesn't know any better.
I'm willing to wager it has never experienced anything like Snickers before.
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Which one am i?
10013892
If this story were set later on in the show’s timeline, the problem’d be solved instantly. Just walk up to Twilight’s Harmony Avatar thing and tell her to cut that shit out.
I hope Snickers doesn't lose his driving attitude. Gotta keep that mostly independent, snarky fighter boi.
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Bottom one.
10014177
Oh. My bad.
10013892
Ya know, this is kind of an interesting premise. I have to wonder what'll happen as Harmony tries to enforce more influence.
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It's going to get really messed up and hopefully end on a good note. Next chapter's technically done, but I have to give it an hour and read it over so I may post it friday once I go over it to be sure it's quality.
It begins...
Wow.
Hmph. Thanks Harmony.
Said it last time, but if Harmony gets a physical avatar like in the show... she'd better watch out at this rate.
10015888
Probably a good idea.
I like how he's slowly breaking down, but I like the fact that he's still as strong and feisty as ever. Here's hoping he keeps who he is, because harmony's really bein a piece of shit with how its trying to rewrite him.
10018209
As a few commenters have said, "Fuck Harmony."
But...
"Seriously Harmony, what the buck was that about?"
"... I happen to like horror games..."
Good chapter, can't wait to see how Snickers gets out of this dream.
Um... what!? Wait, is Celestia connected to all this now? Is she causing the harmony kerfuffle? Is she just being affected by it!? Gaaah!
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Yes.
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Well... here's hoping it's not an OOC Malevolent Celestia. I draw a hard line under those, and I've been enjoying this story thus far.
10025033
Euck... no way.
As far as I know I'm keeping everypony in character, let me know if I'm not.
There's no 'alternate' personalities or realities related to this event. Just magic reacting badly to something unknown... A few to go and then it'll be explained and then the story will go the way I'd planned at the very beginning.
seeing, cussing brings ponies together in times of crisis.
also brain.exe stopped working upon hearing scootaloo's back story.
wait for it to reboot later.
Harmony be like: All these lovebirds need are some traumatic events to send them right onto each other's arms.
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Hm... Glad I'm not the only one that thinks that.
“Maybe I should try... not murdering children over and over via hate-filled ghosts?”
“Harmony, you suck at this so hard...”
so the reward for helping scootaloo find her inner harmony by helping her get over what happened to her is to be knocked unconscious by the physical embodiment of harmony. Are we sure this isn't order as none of this seems like something the balance between order and chaos would do since Snickers is a being of chaos but instead of bringing disorder to the world he's trying to use the power of chaos to cause change.
my theory for this based on shin megumi tenshi morality.
order or law=to maintain the status quo that has been set beforehand.
chaos=change the already established status quo for better or worst.
harmony=balance between the two
harmony in this fic=absolute authority over everything and if anything doesn't go its way it needs to be rid of or altered so that it fits into its ideals.
10027618
In this case, they'd actually be mislabeling Order as Harmony. Applying the Megami Tensei alignment system, in this case, would place this False Harmony as an embodiment of order. It's possible that this entity is a corrupted demi-God/Embodiment on a similar magnitude as Pillar Zelenin from Strange Journey. In this case, it might be possible to alter its perception of order, like in the New Law route of that game, but that still presents an unacceptable route. It is entirely possible that, as events progress, this False Harmony will become further perverted, and assume a form consistent with the warped desire of mortal kind for an absolute order that masquerades as harmony.
This then brings up the concerns of how Snickers and the others might combat this entity, or alter its definition of balance.
I won't deny the possibility of this being the neutral concept of Harmony itself and thus was just corrupted similarly as I described for Order. In that case, it's possible that a chaos-based entity like Discord will either become an enemy or an ally. Both scenarios present fascinating possibilities. My theory is that, eventually, Harmony will be convinced of this new balance once Discord and Celestia have taken bigger roles in events to come, and after Snickers reaches his resolution. If Snickers can obtain the willpower to accept his past, accept some of how ponies are, and still maintain his personality and sense of self, I'm certain that will be the turning point. Harmony will take note of his alterations and either try to directly combat them, or be forced to accept his conceptual impact and adapt to it.
Well. That was really fucking weird. And not in a good way.
This whole chapter is really wonky. The pacing and sentence structure is all over the place. It feels like in the first half you deleted half of the key details for every sentence, and there are still a load of spelling and grammar errors. It feels like a first draft. Even the characters don't feel real or anything like themselves.
It's nice to see "Harmony" getting told, but it still feels so disconnected from what Harmony looks like in the show that I just have no idea what I'm supposed to think. Again, if Celestia is involved, I'd peg everything going on as so OOC as to be ridiculous. I like this story, so I hope things improve, but this chapter isn't selling me on that.
"This exchange is over."
10030130
This isn't going to be anything like the show, as we've clearly seen. Harmony, Order, and Chaos/Discord have been given singular yet unified voices and conceptual consciousnesses. However, because they are embodiments of those concepts, they are at their very cores the extremes of each one. By arguing and analyzing, they attempt to dictate changes to the world. It's a very fascinating concept.
10030130
Rainbow Dash is far smarter than she shows, she would have given away the plot having figured it out.
Fluttershy is Fluttershy. Are they expected to send her through hell while being a bearer?
I'd say no, but that's my opinion; that's why it went over so quickly and talky, so far.
I hope I'm not being too blase. Lol
Seriously, though... I appreciate the feedback and I hope to...alleviate some of your concerns/issues.
And the show, in this instance, isn't really related to Harmony as it's shown far into their future. Ghost Twilight disconnected from emotions form.
So... Harmony actually knew all of this bullshit was stupid and was secretly pulling for Snickers?
Well played. Well played indeed. Don't have a clue about the rhyming stuff though. Sounds like bad news.
congrats snickers, you awoken to the fool arcana, time to go on an epic journey to awaken to the power of the world arcana and then put this deities in their place.
That's of course if this goes this way.
10033745
Perfect. I'm not the only one who got some Megami/Persona vibes outta this.
It's fascinating, all things considered, watching how events are going to progress. I have some reservations, but it seems that this story has alleviated many already with one chapter. Maybe we'll get more persona styled references.
10033745
I certainly hope Snickers gets to go on a little quest, but not too soon. He's only been around for a couple weeks! Wth if he runs away or something, next. All I can do is hope the story doesn't twist like that again so soon.
10033423
Now to figure out what the rhyming means for us all. It just happened, so my subconscious has a plan I don't know about yet.
10034183
I honestly don't know what the references are, but I'm very pleased you're enjoying the story and able to find meaning where I'm literally making it up as I go!
Yeah... there'd be hell to pay if this was another bullshit vision twist
Glad to see good things happening to Snickers for once. Assuming it isn't another vision! Just hope we get more Snickers and Twilight talking engineering and science. I admit to liking those bits a lot.
10044338
I am not using them again, trust me.
And I am so ready to have actual interaction!
Thx!
where;s the spinning top, cause this might be some inception level stuff
Frustrated Rarity: "Ah hell! It's Harmony again, isn't it!?"
End of the book, huh? I'm still holding out hope for some Snickers and Twilight nerd-outs before the end!