My heart pounded in my chest and I squeezed my eyes shut. I was still frozen in place - I had to say something, but I couldn’t think of the words, and the breath I was holding came out as a moan. Applejack hugged me tighter. Ugh, why was I so cold?
Get it together! You’re acting like a baby! You’re just cold because you’re panicking.
I took some deep breaths and felt the wood floor beneath me, the warmth of Applejack’s body, the steady beat of her heart.
Focus! Breathe! Say something!
“I’m sorry,” I said automatically. Not the right thing to say.
“There ain’t nothing for you to be sorry for Green.” Applejack said. “Rainbow had no right to corner you like that.”
“She didn’t corner me!” I insisted, “And she wasn’t being mean to me, please don’t be mad at her because of me!”
“Yer shakin’ like a leaf sweetpea,” Applejack said gently, “Ah, know Rainbow can be a might thoughtless but ah promise she would never actually hurt you.”
“I know,” I said, “It’s not her I’m afraid of, it’s just that -”
I clamped my mouth shut when I realized I was about to put the blame for my panic attack on Applejack. I really didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
“I’m just having a panic attack for stupid reasons.”
“It’s not your fault Green.” Applejack said.
“It is my fault though.” I retorted. “I hurt Scootaloo, and that’s why Rainbow came to talk to me, and now you’re fighting with your friend because you’re worried about me. If I wasn’t here, none of this would have happened.”
“It’s not a bad thing to have ponies worry about you Green,” Applejack consoled, “It just means that they care about you.”
“Yes, it is!” I insisted, “If they’re worrying over me then they feel bad, and I don’t want them to feel bad because of me!”
“You can't stop somepony from caring about you,” Applejack said, “What you can do is let them help you.”
I rolled my eyes, but I don’t think she saw.
“If you let them help you then you’ll feel better, and they’ll feel better, an’ fore ya know it everypony will be happy again.”
I groaned at how sappy that was.
Or they’ll fail at helping me because I don’t have any willpower to change my life, and then they’ll be frustrated and I’ll feel bad for wasting their time.
When I’d considered waiting out my second childhood I hadn’t realized it would feel this bad. What if this never went away? What if I felt this way for the rest of my life? My body felt so cold. Stupid body.
Applejack hugged the shivering filly. She had only meant to protect her, but yelling at Rainbow hadn’t been the right way to go about it, even if she did still feel completely justified.
“How are you feeling Green?” She asked.
“I’m fine.”
The filly continued to shiver, drooping her head before finally answering.
“C-cold.”
“It’s going to be alright Green.” Applejack assured. “How about I run you a nice warm bath and then you can get ready for bed. I promise nopony else will bother you.”
“O-ok.” The filly’s voice wavered like she was trying not to cry.
“That could have gone better.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well don’t look at me,” Scootaloo responded, “I tried to tell her it was fine. Not my fault she’s such a cry baby.”
“Mah sister said that an adult treated her really badly and now she’s afraid of everypony.” Applebloom explained, “So she has to learn how to trust other ponies again, an’ mah sister is gonna help her ‘cause she’s the element of honesty.”
“Well, your sister’s doing a great job helping her trust Rainbow.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes
The crusaders stealthily made their way to the door and peeked out to see Applejack embracing Green as the filly shook. They all froze as Green spotted them and retreated further into the embrace.
“Is she still afraid of us?”
When the crusaders saw me being comforted by Applejack I was so embarrassed. Here I was acting more childish than the actual children; and my response was to shy away, like a child, which created an ever-tightening spiral of terribleness.
At my current size, the bathtub was enormous. As a human, a bathtub ended at my knees making it a cramped uncomfortable affair. I couldn’t quite swim laps in this tub, but you could easily fit three fillies my size end to end.
My size also presented a problem; I had no idea how to climb in short of throwing myself over the side and splashing water everywhere. I was surprised when, after seeing my hesitation, Applejack picked me up by the scruff of my neck like I was a kitten. My pony body seemed to know not to flail when I was being carried like this. Rather than panicking, I went limp and actually giggled at how silly the situation must look.
The tub was only half full, so I could still touch the bottom. As I sank into the bath the water was perfectly warm and I immediately felt much more relaxed, and warm!
“Will you be alright on your own?” Applejack asked.
I blushed at the question. I’m not sure why having help for a bath was so different from help in the shower. I guess having a shower is just for washing someone for practical reasons, a bath seemed much more awkward.
“I’ll be fine, thanks!” I said.
“Alright,” Applejack looked a bit uncertain, “Just give me a yell if you need help getting out of the tub okay?”
“Okay,” I promised.
Applejack left the room, closing the door to give me some privacy.
The feeling of being submerged with a coat of fur was indescribable. It created an odd sense of drag, like I was being pulled in a thousand directions at once. The buoyancy of my new body was about the same as a human. With some air in my lungs I could float. If I exhaled all the air from my lungs and took my hooves off the bottom I would slowly sink.
Water rushed into my nostrils. I coughed reflexively as I felt water dripping into the back of my throat, rearing my head back in a panic and shooting twin geysers of water as I breached the surface.
Note to self: Nostrils no longer face downwards.
I did manage to climb out of the bath without help, though the thumping sound made when I flopped onto the floor had Applejack knocking on the door to check if I was okay. I did need her help to dry me with a towel. I would have to find out how ponies managed that at some point; shaking like a dog seemed like it would be poor manners.
The crusaders had left the room by the time we got back, and the bed had been remade from when I’d pulled the blanket onto the floor.
Crawling under the covers I felt drained. The anxiety had finally left my body and been replaced with an all-consuming drowsiness.
“Goodnight Green,” Applejack ran a hoof through my still damp mane, “I’m sorry.”
The regret in her voice made me want to cry, she’d tried so hard for me and I’d made her feel like a failure. For once I managed to let it go.
“Goodnight Applejack,” I said.
When I thought she was out of earshot I added, “I’m sorry too.”
Ah yes, the chapter we deserve. Thank you for your gift to ponykind
Nice little chapter.
Haha! But unbeknownst to you, she did hear you! Haha!
Poor little Green, a hard life awaits if you cannot let go.
May the force be with you. Always...
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/643894420709834752/743654094358577284/Anonfilly_Headpats_anonfilly_ruffling_hair_pat.gif
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And the Schwartz!
Lots of awkwardness, but definitely a worthy addition to the story. I continue to look forward to seeing how all this will play out.
You really should have a spotter on standby for a 'child' of that apparent age. In case a quick response is necessary.
Talk about clearing out your sinuses!
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Be careful with that kind of mindset. Just because you like the story doesnt mean you deserve more of it. It's up to the writer and the writer alone to decide if they want to finish it.
Ah yes, the old Catch-22 of "I don't want to inconvenience anyone, but I'm also trapped in an unhelpful mindset." I'm intimately familiar with that experience.
This will be very interesting going forward. We'll see what the Apples can do to help Green. And if anything can get her to help herself.
Awww. Thanks for the chapter. Green might want to take some time, alone without ponies to feel anxious about, to process losing everything he/she's ever known and get to the root of her feelings.
While I don't know if Scootaloo's characterization was accurate, her lack of... insight and sympathy here provides some more variety in ponies' responses, and is realistic for a child to show. Especially one of her background.
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Yeah it is a pretty iffy way to say "I really liked this chapter."
Rd thoughtless crap AJ have you looked in a mirror.
No one else seems to be mentioning it, but the bit with the CMC was interesting and doesn't bode well for future Interactions. Something tells me that Scootaloo isn't happy at seeing her idol get kicked out of the house. Let's hope resentment doesn't build up...
Maybe it's just me but I feel really bad for green
I have to wonder what the therapist will say about how moving to a more “stable” environment seems to be making things worse.
I love this story so much. Every chapter leaves me wanting to read more and more. Just so I can see that Green is okay. This will definitely be one of those stories that I can come back to over and over again long after it’s finished.
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I mean they literally used the term "gift".
(Oh, poor Green... well, tomorrow's another day... we'll have to see how it goes.
Now, the Crusaders bit was interesting. Applebloom seems to be the most understanding and wants to help, but still doesn't know how. Scootaloo is, perhaps, not so sensitive to the needs of others... or just using the tough filly exterior and being defensive. Sweetie Belle seems to be the most pragmatic thus far.
I'm personally betting that Applebloom will try to get one on one time with Green while they're doing farm chores or living around or the like. And it will probably be awkward... but, she also seems like she's the most patient and understanding right now... maybe she'll be able to help.)
Well Green still has some skills from their old life, maybe they can do something that won't make them feel like they're a burden.
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Dawww... Heart failure do to cuteness overload increased by 20%
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Heart failure now on 40% !!! Ready the defilibrator!
Rough day, time for everyone to recharge! Problem is, too many ponies are going to sleep troubled and upset... Wonder if Luna will drop in?
Time for everyone to stew in their misconceptions! 🎉
Keep going! ;)
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"Every now and then somepony comes along that happens to exhibit the reverse of normal responses. This appears to be such a case..."
Awww, poor Greenie. Can't wait for more!
Call me, a long awaited chapter. Are we getting a dream scene with Luna next? pleeeeeeaaaase. #Luna is best pony
Very nice, look forward to that notification.
Really AJ would be right to scream at RD, given the pwgasus has been inconsistent towards Green and has expressed a desire to hurt and threaten him.
OH MY GOD I CANT WAIT FOR MORE!!
Relaxing pacing.
Thanks for the update! Made my day today!
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Thanks for the great comments!
I've hit the end for now and I'm sad. This has been interesting so far, and each chapter leaves me wanting just one more.
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Thanks for reading. I hope I can get a new chapter out soon™.
If he had been Luna's Ward it might have worked out better for him. I think Luna would understand the easiest, and he wouldn't have the choice eventually... Sweet Dreams... :)
Nice new cover.
Saw it get published on dA— nice new cover art!
The start of this story felt rigid and a little rocky to me, and I wasn't sure I was going to continue reading. I'm glad I stuck to it because this has really grabbed me, looking forward to more!
Cutest, saddest, most heartfelt, best story I have read on this site yet.
Definitely nice new cover.
The evil baddie who sent Green to Equestria cackles as the Plan is working, dividing up the Mane 6 to make them helpless for the INVASION!
Dat's da Plan!
Huh... I guess that would make a difference.
Another reason why I very much dislike CMC in stories, or in general
I'm in this story an I don't like it.
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her reaction is justified after getting kick in the face, suffer the whole ordeal solely because of green's stubbornness.
she's just a kid. she's doesn't have responsibility to care for green. not abandoning her is already a huge generously from her part.
I miss those days. Back when the bathtub was big enough for me to lay in with room to spare.
Green seem to be like a intelligent pet. Limited in action, but a joy to observe.
When did this story become about me?
This sort of behaviour is uncomfortably familiar to many people I see. It is very well written.