- Member Since 10th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
Twilight Scientist
Beggarly working class.
Twilight Scientist
Joined 10th Oct, 2013 ·
Offline
Sequels1
-
Twilight Scientist · 2.5k words · 52 28 · 6.2k views
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a good story, however your phrasing needs some work. had to re look over parts multiple times just to understand the concept you were trying to convey.
When you can tell from the title that there will be spelling errors everywhere it's a bad sign. You literally misspelled Rainbow Desh's [sic] name.
Interesting story so far, I hope this will grow to a more plot driven story.
Story has potential as far as pretty-much-only-clop fics go, but it's in desperate need of an editor. Lot of problems with grammar, spelling, sentence structure et cetera.
more!!
How could she bite her lip with a cock in her mouth? When did they get into position for a blowjob? Who's thighs did he move when he sat on the bed? The others brought up some good points too.
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
Um... What?
I mean no disrespect, but how in the world has this got 64 likes? Words are repeated, there's spelling errors everywhere, there's odd diologue, and the sex scene just makes zero sense.
9886088
You're right. I set my sights low on this one, but not low enough.
10113846
This is a problem of modern content. There are many people for whom English is not their native language and their knowledge of the language is below average. Nevertheless, even so, we generally understand each other.
I'm a little confused. Is this story complete but mislabeled or what cause I see the sequel labled as complete.
Abandoned