Twilight Scientist
Joined 10th Oct, 2013 ·
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.....ok, interesting
My inner Grammar Nazi wants to kill you. Please repost this with fixed Grammar. You sound like a 4th grader from Germany who is learning English in the second year.
Normally I support the working class. But I choose how and when, and this does not inspire such support.
7814489 Please. This almost hurt.
It's frustrating to find a story that caters to most of your specific weird fetishes, that turns out to be unreadably bad. You really need to heavily edit this before it's even passable.
I read the first few lines saying to myself "No-no. I'm sure this will improve..."
However, when I reached this line, I stopped.
It's not that hard to find an Editor on this site.
Aughtt why? Ok look fix the grammer and put a lot less fatness to her and youll be golden.
7814489 "Please respond this with fixed Grammar."
When you try your best but you don't succeed.
Um... I don't actually think that you're English, and I'm sure that you'd have better writing in a foreign language, and for that there's no hard feelings. However, you could always get it read through by someone if you're skeptical about the English Language.
Also, have a more excitable name for a chapter, otherwise people may not click on it.
Needs some work, but for what it's worth I like fat stuff, so don't let others tell you that needs to be cut out. You just need a good editor to go over it perhaps.
7815877 auto"correct" f*cked me up.
Thx tho
Ok. That description scares me.
........ I don't know how to feel about this.
Good...
But check the spelling, and the grammar (I think there may be words missing/typo's)
7815126 What's most frustrating is how often it seems to happen.
I think I was expecting something else... then again I don't know if what to think of it...
7814489 Please do so.
You respond to comments by moving your mouse over to the right hand side of the comment that you want to respond to and then clicking on the >> that appears. Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?
Holy hell, man, you gotta find an editor, or at least spell check your writing. This might be a good story, but it's just painful to try and make sense of. I couldn't get past the Cutie Map scene.
Just needs an editor and this story's golden.
7829761 i read it in a Russian accent to make it bearable
its good.
I realize that this is likely impossible, but this should get some kind of sequel where Rainbow Dash somehow gets turned back to normal.
Seriously, man. You gotta get a proofreader, because I could barely even read this story.
I'm sorry, but your story is just unreadable.And it's a shame because I found it interesting(at least til I stopped reading)