- Member Since 10th Jun, 2013
- offline last seen Jan 7th, 2023
UniqueSKD
Not really big on fanfic writing, but when I'm in the mood I'll jot something down from time to time. I'd much rather frequent sites like YouTube, DeviantArt, and Facebook
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Some more emphasis and detail on the 'sex-crazed orgy going on below' would have been nice instead of vagueness. Overall, it was an OK read: good grammar, interesting idea.
7942992
Care to explain your point, since I don't seem to understand?
Have you done this before, then taken it down? I read a similar story not long after the season two finale.
7943103 Yes. Is that going to be a problem for you, sir?
7943132 Not at all! I was just curious.
7943145 Good boy.
7943064
Get inside your characters heads! How does it feel physically, emotionally, being rutted and cum in so much like that by so many males; being used? What are her thoughts on the matter? Is Starlight pleasured, degraded, something in-between? What do the Changelings' penises look/feel like like? Are Changeling penises different than stallion penises?
Perhaps you could have a Changeling's point of view in there somewhere, how it feels to take a mare in a group. How wet/warm she is inside, how different she feels than Changeling females perhaps.
What is Chrysalis' view on all of it? How does it feel for her to get her revenge, to watch her brood seeding the mare she hates?
Just a few ideas.
I noticed you wrote Twilight a couple time instead of Starlight just crtl f it
7943168 Isil's younger sister here. I was going to ask why he's been barking at the cat for the last few minutes, then I saw your comment. I'm filming him right now, so thanks for the blackmail material!
7943188 And thank you for wasting my time with a comment that means nothing to me.
7943172 Sorry, but if I was ever going to put THAT much effort into describing sex, it would be after I myself have experienced it so that the writing felt genuine, and me ever sharing a loving intimate moment with someone who could love me for me is never going to happen so I'm never hoing to do that. I am also afraid I'm just not that dedicated to writing clopfics either.
7943185 Fine, I'll correct it. Jesus Christ!
7943185 Sorry, i don't see the thing I'm supposed to correct.
It going to bite back on Chrysalis.
7943417 We'll never know since this is the ONLY chapter you get here.
7943260 Not to sound prudish, but you feel free to write average clopfics (or writing in general) and don't try to grow your writing skills. Also, you shouldn't ask for specification if you don't really want it, and will brush off what's said anyways.
7944404 Oh i'll grow my writing skills. I'll just do so for a story worth improving them for. You go on ahead and talk about those penises you love so much. (seriously - describing a penis?)
Not bad except for the end. Really, up until that point I expected a solid BDSM story, I imagined Chrysalis taking her time to slowly break Starlight. Little by little, getting Starlight to ask for what she wants, getting her to beg for it, convincing her that only a slut wants things like that, followed by getting her to call herself one in hopes of getting the pleasure that she wants. Little by little breaking her mind so that at best, she'll be herself day to day, except for a burning need to degrade herself, unable to love another unless they degrade her. Now that would be a revenge, the gang rape at the end? Meh, lazy.
7944703 I'm not dedicated to clopfiction. I just threw this together so i can say 'there, I had a go and it wasn't for me'. This genre of fanfiction isn't for me, but since i don't care if this story does well or not means it won't affect me in the long run.
Besides, I've never had the luxury of sharing an intimate moment with a woman, so I don't really have a damn clue how a clopfic is meant to be written anyway. Sorry if me being a virgin causes problems for anyone but, well, there you go.
Also the fact that you explained how you would have wanted the story to go like that is even more reason why I will never want to attempt another clopfic ever again. The idea that you WANT Starlight to be degraded like that is just wrong.
7944722
Laughs, "You don't need experience, just a good imagination. Outside of MLP I write fetish fiction, heavy on the BDSM often with female victims, but you know what's the amazing part? I'm asexual, nearly a virgin, and am in a homosexual marriage."
Chuckles, "I wouldn't say so much want, as expected it to go that way, after all, Chrysalis said she was going to break her, and you did a really good job on describing Chryssi teasing her poor victim. My idea is merely a continuation of what you started."
7944738 Well, I wasn't willing to put much effort or heart into something I didn't really much for to begin with. Like I said, I just did this so I can say that I did one and it wasn't really the sort of thing I want to do anymore to contribute to the fandom. I mean what can you really even do with a penis and three holes nowadays that nobody else has already done? You can change the words from fanfic to fanfic but there's still going to be a messy puddle of cum everywhere at the end.
7944751
Exactly, that's why I do fetish stuff, the number of combinations are near infinite, limited only by your imagination (and if you need that expanded, just wander the R-18 section of Pixiv) and what squicks you. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am? Boooooring, been done.
I remember this one but with Twilight instead of Starlight, did you rewrote your older pice?
7945000 Yeah. I found a way to get back deleted stories without needing the admins to do it for me. Don't really know why I chose this damn thing of all things but...whatever.
7944520
I've been paid for commissions multiple times for being as descriptive as I am in my stories, thank you very much. High detail and emotion, what I said in my first response, is clearly what at least some people want. If the clopfic genre 'isn't for you', then don't try to bring down those of us who do enjoy writing or reading it just because you don't enjoy writing or reading it.
As for that latter part, please do put effort into what you ENJOY writing, not what you think you have to prove you can write. Write because you ENJOY writing what you do.
I describe penises, vaginas, wings, horns, the feeling of grass, fur - basically everything in my stories in great detail, sooooo...not just penises. I describe everything in my story in detail so the readers can visualize everything in their minds, a goal of many authors, as well as the thoughts and opinions, the feelings, of the characters. I don't 'love penises'.
Besides, it's kinda hard to have normal, vaginal sex without a penis or substitute, no?
7944520 Not wanting to describe a penis...
What are you, gay or something?
8164809 Who knows? I don't have a girlfriend, so yeah maybe I am gay. So bring that massive fat chubby bottom of yours over here, sexy man, and I'll make them cheeks jiggle like they were Hitome Tanaka getting excited.
8164825
8164857 Meet me in a dark alleyway then, sweet buns. Preferably one where nobody will hear you scream.
8164857 On second thoughts, scratch that last reply I made to you. That was going a bit too far. I'm in a sour mood but that was crossing the line a bit there. I'm sorry about my behavior. It's not you, it's me.
8164884 All good dude
I love me some good old internet banter
No, don't leave me!
8164912 I need medication...XD
Noooooo! Not a clopfic!
XD
I like the fact that you said that "(you) are a better (artist)" at the end of the story description! Your art IS good! What program do you use for animating and cover-arting? XD
Not enough to be given a thumbs up or a thumbs down, but it was ok i guess.