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TheMajorTechie


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I have no idea what I'm doing. This is probably gonna be a less triptastic counterpart to What If... that actually tries to be a cherrypicked comment-driven story. Just a place where I could write whatever's on my mind without having to always make it funny.

Think of this as a sort of mirrored What If that focuses on the more serious things then comedy, and actually follows a plot instead of throwing everything at the wall. :twilightsmile:

This story is very heavily comment-driven, and is very much a writing experiment.

Suggestions are currently closed.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 126 )

Where does any well-t-do adventurer start their story but in a forest? Not the Everfree, of course, but maybe something a bit tamer, possibly Whitetail woods. How would he, or maybe she, or even possibly it get there? I do not know.

The Griffon awakens. He doesn’t know who or what he is. All he knows about himself is he has an orange-red coat with grey feathers on his head and wings. His coat is rather shaggy for a griffon. He knows one thing: he needs to go speak with someone important.
(Add in the starting from this comment:)
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Why not start somewhere like Tall Tale, that place is pretty much a blank slate besides the fact that it's a large city (yes, this is a real place in Equestria)
Another place we can start if you want to start at a different time is around the time of the founding of Equestria
Yet another place we can start is around the beginning of the world, back when the races were just starting out, before the princesses, before Discord, heck, even before the three tribes era. (this one is my favorite of the three)

As for the race, I want it to be something that's not done that often in stories, maybe something like a hippogryph or a centaur. Just something that you wouldn't see very often in other fanfics.

Well, for gender we have the three basic options;
Male
Female
And genderless
Yeah, I dont care which one it would be considering this has very little impact on the story... probably

Hmm... what about the name. well it's like the story said, a name could represent many aspects of a character, and this is especially true when you consider the fact that this is probably Equestria, where naming conventions both don't make that much sense to us and somehow predict that character's entire future. So for now, let's continue leaving them nameless, who knows, maybe that could be a future plot point.

Edit: We could also just make Voidtrotter their name instead of just a title

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The first chapter will focus on the Voidtrotter being a griffon that has run across an early Earth Pony settlement in pre-tribal Equestria. This settlement is built at the edge of a forest, and is an early farming center.

Changes to the original comments being made in the chapter:

  • The Voidtrotter is aware that they are a griffon. This is done in order to keep the plot focused, rather than spinning off into a subplot about figuring out what the Voidtrotter is.
  • The chapter focuses on the very beginning of the three-tribes era for the sake of simplicity.
  • The Voidtrotter is kept as their official title, but as far as names go, they will be referred to as "Cookie" by other characters. This may be due to "Cookie" being more memorable by these other characters, but at times they will be referred to as the Voidtrotter. They will also continue to be narrated as such, rather than as "Cookie".

The name of Cookie is what popped into my head

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I like it. I’m excited to see where this goes!

What is this settlement of Earth Ponies like?

Poor, maybe a little run down, they all live in shacks or tepees. Basically, the typical building you would expect to see at the beginning of civilization

What is their culture?

None, yet. Again, they are at the beginning of civilization, they have yet to make different cultures.

Do they struggle against anything?

Maybe the various flora and fauna that live in the forest

What is this settlement of Earth Ponies like?

Hmm... I’d like to think primitive, but not in a “they’re dumb” way. So, developed, but only just slightly.

What is their culture?

Maybe very agricultural based, so they honor the sun and moon. This could be where the later (assuming there is a later time eventually) civilizations got the idea from.

Do they struggle against anything?

Well, seeming as that guard was quick to jump out at Cookie, I’d assume that’s because there are other tribes constantly being attacked around them. You could take this and make Cookie the only one able to make peace between the settlements.

Also, just for general lore, I’d like to think that these other tribes are also Earth Ponies, and that they’ll come together to form a civilization. Building on that agriculture idea, they could have a moment of realization when they realize that they all believe in the same things. I feel like I would enjoy reading that.

Just a thought though.

A settlement near a forest...

Lessee... there may be timberwolves in the forest, or just normal wolves. Equestria has to get domesticated dogs from somewhere.

The animals of the forest would be familiar with the earth ponies, but none of them would have ever seen a griffin before and so some might be curious what “Cookie” is, or possibly how they taste.

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Here's what I'll be using in the next chapter:

  • Wolves
  • Very basic Solar-Lunar culture, but otherwise unaffiliated.
  • For the most part, they live in small huts and shacks built in the protection of the forest canopy or vertical cliff-faces/caves.

Lets have him come with two other timberwolfs. There all aggressive and the ponies are getting defensive. Right as shits about to go down, a feminine voice tells the three timberwolfs to stand down. Then another timberwolf comes out, this one is notably taller and slimmer, and sits right beside the original timberwolf that showed up (we will call him Woody to make things easier to explain). Woody looks at (and we will just call her Sap, to also make things easier to explain) and gives a grunt/growl. She doesn't even flinch, and just gives him a glare. Woody rolls his eyes and sits. Sap looks at the ponies and explains "hey, sorry for the trouble. Me and these guys were scouting out the area, and this little mut broke protocol. But we are going to have to report you guys to the alpha." (Don't actually use that dialogue, it was bad) and with that they leave back into the forrest before any of the ponies get a reaction in. But this creates some conflicts, like: tribe rivalry, or they try to work together but the timberwolfs and the ponies don't get along. I don't know, but I thought this might help to give some structure to the story, but in the end its up to you.

The wolves are natural inhabitants of the forest. They are different from the timberwolf. Timberwolves are guardians of the forest that have a connection with the common wolves, sometimes calling them for help when an intruder came. Cookie is a perfect example of an intruder. The ponies, a relatively new addition to the forest, are also counted as intruders.

The gem is a crystallized form of ambient magic, becoming solid for its high concentration in the earlier days before civilization. The crystal now holds the leylines together and is an intricate part of keeping the ambient magic usable by biological beings in the area. They are the reason timberwolves exist, thus why they are protective of it, and why being around them is a really bad idea.

Some ponies don't get it, and there are tribes that collect these gemstones and wonder to the Sun and Moon why they get so many timberwolf attacks. At least, before they got devoured.

The Timberwolf has companions much like in the other comments, however because of the massive amounts of magic the crystal carries the female wolf can cast a simple form of telepathy showing images and different colors for emotions to be interpreted by VT. The wolves being an early predecessor to the ones in the show are actually good and wish to help and teach the ponies what is safe to eat and what isn’t in the forest, but since the earth ponies are not receptive to telepathy don’t know what the wolves want. VT now feels like it is his/her responsibility to act as a translator between the two groups and help them live in coexistence and survive together.

Maybe a bear or two might show up now and again

Where did the timberwolf come from? Are the regular wolves that it leads going to become future timberwolves?

I'm going to say that the Timberwolves started out here, but when the windigos appeared they migrated to the place that is now the Everfree Forest

What significance does the gem in the ground hold?

Well if we're not going to follow show canon, it's the Tree of Harmony, but if we are, then I have no idea what it's supposed to be

What other threats may live in the forest?

Manticores, cockatrices, tatzlwurms, hydras, ursas, ya know, the usual suspects
Although, I feel like parasprites would make a major threat in this point in time when you consider that the ponies are just getting started and have limited food

What is the location of the setting relative to modern Equestria?

Its wherever the three tribes era took place... so, not in Equestria

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Next chapter:

Liquid Truth- I really like your idea and I'm just gonna use all of it :P
The wolves are natural inhabitants of the forest. They are different from the timberwolf. Timberwolves are guardians of the forest that have a connection with the common wolves, sometimes calling them for help when an intruder came. Cookie is a perfect example of an intruder. The ponies, a relatively new addition to the forest, are also counted as intruders.

The gem is a crystallized form of ambient magic, becoming solid for its high concentration in the earlier days before civilization. The crystal now holds the leylines together and is an intricate part of keeping the ambient magic usable by biological beings in the area. They are the reason timberwolves exist, thus why they are protective of it, and why being around them is a really bad idea.

Some ponies don't get it, and there are tribes that collect these gemstones and wonder to the Sun and Moon why they get so many timberwolf attacks. At least, before they got devoured.

Amilition-
Some kind of alpha timberwolf.

B4ssxCello-
Timberwolves are able to use very basic telepathy to communicate due to their deep link to the magic gems.

Zapper frost-
The majority of the other threats are just creatures that have been seen before in the Everfree and other forests.

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Sorry, you kinda lucked out this time. Let's see what you've got for the next chapter! :raritywink:

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I am enjoying your writing style. This story is kinda relaxing to take part in

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Thanks! It's a mix of the writing style I've used in stories like Pony-Me and Worlds Reset combined with random things I've been picking up from my AP Literature class! I wanted to experiment a bit, so I went ahead and tried to imitate the writing style of some of the books we read, while keeping the same touches of intentional vagueness that I've used throughout my previous stories. :raritywink:

Battle with the forest creatures

Let go of me!

No, sir!

I have to tell them! I have an idea!

Sir, no! Let others get a chance!

Hey stop dragging me away!

Its for your own good!

I will be back, you hear me! Noooooo


I liked it. I have more ideas but I want other people to get a chance to take part. Good luck!

Ooh! A sneak attack! The wolves leave The Voidtrotter alone for now, but when the ponies least expect it, the wolves attack. You mentioned that they use the power from the crystals on their crops, right? Makes me think that would only make it easier for the wolves to fight back, because they could probably link a connection between the pieces. Maybe where The Voidtrotter does something, probably while trying to figure out what’s happening, and accidentally shows the timberwolves how to connect them.

This is a final warning, strange creature. Do not touch the gem. The intruder ponies have stolen well enough of them to place a strain on our existence. They are not yet readt for the power these gems hold, and have suffered the same fates as the parasprites and other creatures of the sort that seek these gems.

Typo.

Cookie's form is still unstable. Every day or so for the next week, he is forced into a new identity at the crack of dawn. However, it's painful to switch established forms: the more details he gained, the more it hurts. Maybe the Earth Ponies have met someone like this before?

Voidtrotter goes back to the Earth Pony settlement while being very cross at them for destroying the crystals

Can Voidtrotter/Cookie be female, but... would be a a "father" in the Future

What is this settlement of Earth Ponies like?

Mare ruled !

What is their culture?

They the first and only ponies that eat fish

What is their culture?

Ponies VS D--dogs

And more, of course.

they thing pegasus are GODs !

How about...

If then Earth-pony ... a crystal,
They stats to change into a Crystal-Pony !

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I only consider comments on the newest chapter, since the story is comment-driven.

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You can stell keep it, and use the ideal later
or add that later

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We'll see. It depends heavily on how well they can work with other people's comments as well.

How about a shipping with fluttercord, cheesepie, sordash, applespike, rarity and capper, with flashlight

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None of those characters have even been mentioned yet in this story. Please at least make your suggestions relevant to the current state of the story. It's less of a headache for me to figure out how to use your comments that way. :twilightsheepish:

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Sunbro4life - battle against forest creatures
Howzdozit - sneak attack by timberwolves
Shadow_8472 - Cookie's form is unstable
Zapper frost - Voidtrotter returns to settlement cross at ponies for destroying crystals

The Voidtrotter returns to the settlement, unaware of the battle that is still going on. Much of the forest animals have been pushed deeper into the forest for the time being, and the main part of the village is calm. They bring up the topic of the crystals being used in the farms, to which one pony responds that the gems have allowed the crops to grow at speeds nopony had ever seen before, and assures the Voidtrotter that the crystals' energy is returned to the earth with every use.

Later that evening, a surprise raid is launched by the forest creatures, spearheaded by the timberwolves in an attempt to destroy the crops that they saw the ponies sprinking the crystal shards over. The Voidtrotter, unfortunately, is unable to help, flickering more and more often between his current griffin form and a strange, misty-grey fog, the latter of which is unable to physically interact with the world at all.

Do they struggle against anything?

Maybe parasitic invasive trees are in the area, which, obviously, is a problem.

How about the earth ponies find out that a type of vines is taking over the forest, and they need to stop it before it's too late.

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Sounds like he is turning into tear gas. He moves between the combatants, separating them until he stabilizes into a new creature and can talk again.

Lighting storm rolled in and a bolt of lightning hit the tree

What new form may the Voidtrotter take?

a FEman D.-dog

What damage have the creatures caused to the village?

Set fire to the houses
and tock the mares for them self
And have them clean there house and other things.

What may have caused the felling of the tree?

The tree has to cut down to make an other timber-wolf

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FEman

Huh?

Set fire to the houses
and tock the mares for them self

I'm not gonna touch that idea. This story is rated-T with no warning tags. I'd like to keep it that way.

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Huh?

Jest wanted to make sure that you understand
FEMALE
He becomes a She.


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I was thinking that they are asked to ... Clean there nest ans other things.

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The Void trotter is established as genderless.

As far as the second part goes, in still not sure about using it.

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I know that why I think his/her body should change gender each time


I understand
Sorry :ajsleepy:

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It's alright. This is a comment-driven story after all. I'm just trying to keep the story going as smoothly as possible, so there's bound to be some rejected suggestions.

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