Comments ( 16 )

As a note, you can also sneak this premise into the Season 9 premiere, and need to add the Alt. Universe tag if you don't.

9795200
I can't, because this is using pre-transformation Thorax. I might need to add the AU tag though, true.

9795217
Yeah, I noticed that in the tags after posting that, and that's the only place where that's mentioned.

Also, completely unrelated to anything here or elsewhere, but Wintermist is weirdly absent from the reader participation story...

You always writing some hot stuff! Can't wait to read this.

I'm liking where this is going. I do hope we can see Sunburst and Shining as well. To be hoenst I would love Shinning to try and save them, but with each one saying no and that they want Sombra Shinning's resolve falters more and more. I hope it is not only three chapters though.

9795231
Not for lack of trying on my part, I've linked it more than once. I should try to do so again when I get around to the next chapter.
9795239
Thank you.
9795252
Five planned chapters, one for each of Sombra's slaves plus one at the end.

9795320
Seriously, try harder. In case I wasn't blatant enough about implying it, that was part of the circumstantial evidence that the two of you are the same person.

9795320
For Thorax, maybe have him try to sneak around. Only to be caught, and mind controlled.

Maybe once he is corrupted Sombra tells him a new form for him to take, and Thorax eagerly takes on that form for the forseeable future to make Sombra happy.

9795320
Hey I have a question. Is spike of age in this universe or not. Because if he’s 18 it would be interesting for Sombra to gain a dragon pet.

But if he’s not, please then don’t.

9795231
Wintermist doesn't write M/M, does she?

Well, Sunburst is down. Does he really have increased magical ability or was that all part of the trap to corrupt him?

I do like the new concept here. Thanks for the new chapter and the new variety in corruption.

This is getting good

And so falls the prince. I do like this chapter. One Shiny confronted the other slaves and realized he couldn’t help them. Then it was Shinning’s mind and memory being rewritten. I think that was nice. Very good chapter to end. To be honest thought I wish it wasn’t the end. I hope maybe there will be another chapter with an adult Spike. But if not this was a good way to end this story.

Noc

Late catching up on this one, but – hot, damn hot. Love the whole “seducing him” aspect to this.

Noc

Hrm. I hope you don’t mind if I go off on a tangent here, but I had an interesting thought. This chapter didn’t quite do it for me like the others did, and I think I know why.

The previous chapters were from Sombra’s POV, so as a reader I identified with him over the other stallions; I wanted him to succeed in his goals, and because we barely saw or heard of the stallions before they were enslaved I didn’t have time to empathize with them much – they were just toys to be broken in by their master, and therefore, hot domination smut fuel.

But this chapter was from Shiney’s POV, and we also spent a lot more time with him, in his mind, before any naughty stuff began – getting to know his wants and goals, empathizing with him. As a result, his inevitable corruption here felt less like a victory or climax (pun half-intended), and more like a tragedy – our hero lost, everything is bad now. As a result, it just wasn’t, for lack of a better word, hot for me.

I thought it was an interesting example of how the same subject matter can be either arousing or depressing depending on how it’s framed. To be clear, I didn’t dislike this one or anything, it’s a good chapter. Just not one I can quite, er, enjoy like with the previous ones.

to the author - Omg what a sexy, yet dark & twisted ending!
i wanted to read this one but decided to read your flashburst [for that's their ship name on DA] story instead.

p.s: here's the first person whose done on this pairing (don't even know if you're a fan of reading or like writing m/m stories?) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/412675/public-boundaries

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