• Member Since 2nd May, 2013
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'I am made from the dust of the stars, and the oceans flow in my veins: here I hide in the heart of the city, like a stranger coming out of the rain.'


It’s a rare thing in life to have the certainty of knowing we’ve made the right decision. He was Fluttershy’s.

A horror story.

With very special thanks to the usual suspects: Admiral Biscuit, Luna Farrowe, Thornquill, Itssopanda, and Suni, as herself. Thank you all for your input and occasional efforts to convince me to reconsider the entire thing. :heart:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Very, well, nice isn't the right word, very effective fic, quite compelling to read Fluttershy go from fear, to interest, to happiness, to love, to sadness and then finally to fear and sadness driven madness

Beware the quiet ones indeed

Hot damn that was a trip! I loved how nuanced the play was between everything. A very different look at this kind of situation that many wouldn't think could happen. Poor Flutter though.

Comment posted by Deora na greine deleted Oct 17th, 2020


Beware the quiet ones indeed

And the ones who want them quiet.

Thanks! Took me six months to tweak it to the point I was happy with the balance of subtlety and brick-to-the-head; glad it seems to be going over well so far.


And the ones who want them quiet.

You know, during pre-reading, that little thought never crossed my mind. That’s a whole new wrinkle, and I can’t say that I like it.

Masterful as ever. The beauty in it really is that there were five pre-readers and five interpretations came out of it. What was obvious to me was less so to others, and vice versa.

I see a lot of my own experiences in this, and that probably explains my fondness for it. Exaggerated, maybe, but not necessarily wrong for it.

That was a bit dark there towards the end as I realised what was going on.

And the ones who want them quiet.


Very powerful.

Jesus bro.

This is some hard-hitting fanfiction boy I tell you hwat

Even in a land of peace and imperturbable Harmony, the girl in butter-yellow shone like a beacon: of Celestia’s light, of love, of warmth and boundless good feeling.

always do love it when Fluttershy is described as butter-colored

She stiffened, wings half-splayed. A gentle breeze ruffled his dark mane, ears flicking a little as the thick locks brushed against them. He didn’t look round, though her hoofsteps had made no secret of her approach. He just kept staring comfortably out across the lake, mane ruffling in the wind.

he’s just lying there! menacingly!

‘Oh, and Fluttershy, if you do end up finding another bench, and he follows you, um . . . let me or one of the girls know, would you please?’

‘Still, darling, we must be ever so careful around stallions—you especially. They’re prone to such violent passions, you know, and so often lack control. Just . . . promise me you won’t do anything rash, won’t you?’

oof, feels all too much like how our world works. and this makes Fluttershy’s anxieties more justified if anything

She edged carefully around the bench instead, her hooffalls slow and steady. It was as much to keep the basket steady as to gradually announce her presence, she knew, but even the act of taking care not to appear awkward made the awkward situation into awkward-awkward awkwardness, and she hated herself for noticing it.

ooh this is too relatable. very Fluttershy!

Fluttershy blanched, but Applejack only winked by way of response. ‘Ah, say no more—young love bein’ what it is an’ all that.’

it is somehow a very Applejack thing to say this even though she is likely younger than Fluttershy herself

Her lips found his, and the world around them dissolved into bliss.

aww, that’s nice! it is a good thing that i do not read tags before starting to read stories now

‘So I hear there’s a new stallion in town, Flutters! Eh, eh, say no more, say no more? So what’s he like? Is there any kind of chemistry between the two of you, eh, eh? Any kind of rrrromance?’ She put on a sultry (and rather poor) imitation of a Prench accent with this last.

hehe that is what Pinkie would do! great job capturing each of the Mane Six in these little interludes 

And it felt right as she pushed the door shut behind them.


‘Jackie . . .’ Twilight murmured, eyes flicking to the skylight. ‘Could you maybe rein it in? You’ve been sitting here practising the same joke for two hours.’

oh i can totally imagine this, Applejack just going over variations of that line repeatedly while everypony else gets sick of it

‘Oh, darling, I was ever so pleased to hear about this from Pinkie, however . . . uncouth . . . she was about it,’ Rarity cooed, patting Fluttershy’s cheek with a carefully-manicured hoof before looking around. ‘But where-oh-where is the stallion of the hour? Surely the guest of honour isn’t late to his own party!’

oh i am getting a bad feeling from the fact that literally nocharacter else but Fluttershy had ever seen this stallion, and how he always just happens to be on the same bench day after day…

In her enthusiasm, she didn’t catch the rising of a single, heavily-pencilled eyebrow, nor the series of murmurs that followed her up to the cottage’s little loft.

love Rarity’s single, heavily-pencilled eyebrow, so good to express concern and skepticism with

‘Stallion of few words, ain’t he?’ AJ mused, sipping at a glass of juice. ‘You ain’t never talked to him ‘bout where he’s from? What brought him here?’

Fluttershy stammered. Had they ever talked about such things? It didn’t seem like much had ever needed to be said when they could sit there and enjoy the moment instead. Applejack seemed to take her nonanswer as confirmation, casting a glance at Twilight before focussing on her plate again.

well i am relieved that he is at least alive and real! but yes, that does raise questions

‘Just imagine how disappointed my folks would be—heck, maybe yours, too, if they were still in the picture.’

oof, really not painting a good picture of her friends here, even within their own logic 

As long as Fluttershy lived, they vowed, she would never have to be anything but that which she had always been to them—the happiest, sweetest, and gentlest of ponies.

well, this really merited its “Horror” tag, in a way that turns out to be deeper and more interesting than where i thought it might be headed halfway through it. the prose was beautiful throughout and wow did that serve the story in that final, harrowing section.

and i know there are a lot of ways to interpret this, but the racialization of the stallion stood out to me, between the following:

He had a . . . what was that word Rarity used? swarthy? look to him, something that spoke of sand and earth and distance. ‘A dusky dun’, her friend’s romance novels might have painted him; but, then, he was missing the low-cut shirt and the violently unnecessary rose between his teeth, so perhaps that was out.

even a heavily-spiced curry dish that had been his contribution to proceedings.

as well as the communication barrier, which feels very much like a language barrier. just the way that all the other characters in this society have a suspicion of this stallion is so outsized and unspecified, and the scene where her friends met him where they were outwardly polite but looking for reasons to dismiss any chance of connection, particularly

He nodded, several times in quick succession, slurping down the rest of his stew before moving to answer, making several complex pantomimes involving the sun, the table, and a quickly-produced bit coin. Rarity nodded along, politely, but the look in her eyes betrayed no hint of understanding—nor, it seemed to Fluttershy . . . well . . .


really captures something real, and very well.

i really hate to imagine Equestria and the characters i love being anything like this. it upsets me a lot, actually! you did an excellent job with this work.

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad people are still finding value in these however many years after I've written them, and I love getting thoughtful comments like yours when they do.

It was interesting to follow your changing impression of the titular character as you went through the story: from potential abuser to ghost (!) to just one of the victims of the piece, right beside our girl Flutters. As you said, I prefer to leave the specifics open to interpretation, but you did very much nail what I was going for with him -- the danger of othering, whether cultural, gendered, or on the basis of disability. That, coupled with the deliberate, consistent infantilisation of Fluttershy that is so often the hallmark of poor canon and fandom writing, made for -- again, as you said -- a chance to draw attention to something cruel, and grotesque, and abusive to everyone involved.

For what it's worth, I agree with your last point fully: this is not an Equestria I could imagine outside of a horror story. But I think for me, the horror of it lies in both the clear validity of the concerns the other girls brought up at the outset, and how they were twisted into something self-serving and oppressive when it suited the narrative they, in-story, wanted to paint. I'm glad you found those interpretations of the Mane Six to be believable (and thank you in particular for that compliment! :twilightsmile:), but it was and is alarming to me, rereading through as I write this, how easy it was to reframe that into something that could be used to hurt.

As you say, distressingly real, even if -- happily -- nowhere near canon.

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