• Member Since 17th Jul, 2018
  • offline last seen 13 hours ago

GeneralOs


I like stories about Sunset, the economy, world building and Harry Potter. Been a reader since March 2018. Profile Pic: https://derpibooru.org/733752

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Sunset is Princess Celestia's faithful student but, she is not destined to wield the element of magic and so is sent on a mission to research another world through the mirror she is obsessed with. Will she discover the magic of friendship while in the other world or will she go down a dark path to become an alicorn?

Cancelled because I'm bored of MLP and want to read/work on HP GOT and Star Wars fanfics

A fanfiction where Sunset doesn't run away but is sent away like Twilight in Ep 1. Every 1 year in the mirror universe is 4 years in the MLP universe at least at the beginning of the fic .

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 68 )

A bit of redundancy here and there, I felt. Also just seemed a bit rushed pacing-wise. Other than that I am for this.

9237065
I would have to agree but I didn't want the fic to be stuck in Equestria for 3 chapters so I sacrificed description for speeding up the story

So far so good cant wait for more.

If you are going to do Anon-a-miss as the end of Season 2, you might not want to have Sunset's friends abandon her. It would work better in this story, a story in which Sunset never broke up the Human 5's friendship, if they instead promised to help Sunset find the one behind it.

9240865
Yeah its just an idea at this point and by no means the final story yet. Thank you for the suggestion though

This is an interesting concept. The execution feels a bit rushed, but the story is still rather enjoyable. I look forward to seeing where you take this. Well done Darling :raritywink:

it's a good story but, friendly advice? Don't do numbers for words. Just say those three rascals instead of those 3 rascals.

9248294
I changed it for most of the story. Only exceptions I made are for when characters are speaking and for some uses of the word one.

"Hello I'm Sunset Shimmer are Cheerilee, my homeroom teacher?

"Hello, I'm Sunset Shimmer. Are you Cheerilee, my homeroom teacher?"

9248338

Only exceptions I made are for when characters are speaking and for some uses of the word one.

Why?

9268691
For example, you wouldn't say "1 of those" you would say "one of those" or for words such as someone.

"Hello dudettes, I'm Treehugger, how can I help you?" The guy behind the reception desk asked with a stereotypical San Prancisco accent.

...Treehugger is female.

Comment posted by GeneralOs deleted Nov 9th, 2018

9282855
I know, I just felt that the character made more sense as a male in this situation.

Oh. Wouldn't have to worry about Filthy Abusing it... His future wife However...

Comment posted by GeneralOs deleted Nov 15th, 2018

9285089
You mean current wife.
DT is the same age as the CMC and whit AJ parents gone that means Bloom is allredy born.

9294839
In Where the Apple Lies, a Flashback Episode, we see Filly Applejack with her Cutie Mark in Ponyville meaning it is after the Rainboom, and we Also see a Younger Filthy Rich and a Younger Spoiled Milk. Who is his fiancée. Meaning that currently there is No Apple Bloom or Diamond Tiara in Equestria. Remember: One year in Hairless Ape Land is 4 Years in Equestria when the portal is closed.

9295387
My storyline timeline has DT and AB along with the others born the year of the Rainboom. DT's parents will get married the year she is born and are engaged right now. SS hasn't received that info yet, but will in the next message from Princess Celestia. AB's mother dies in childbirth, and AB's father dies from Timberwolves earlier in the year. This trauma leads to AJ leaving for Manehattan.

9268713
So... You're NOT going to write out the numbers instead of just typing them out, (i.e. one instead of 1) period?

9297681
It will depend on the situation. The original comment wanted numbers instead of words eg. 4 years instead of four years. That was the change I made

As Daring Do trekked through the tropical jungle, the wet heat sapped her energy and slowed her every step. If only she could escape this oppressive atmosphere and fly up into the crisp blue sky, but her crash landing in the jungle had injured her wing, and she was grounded for a few days. Those feathered appendagse would do her no good on this journey.

How did Pinke get the Equestrian version? Becouse I'm resnably sertien that humans dont have wings.

9298205
You're right my bad. I'll change that. The transcript I used was from the episode where it mentioned wings, so I went with it. Update: fixed the issue.

9298436
NO keep it.
It be hulerius if Sunset noticed and wonderd how but never geting a strait answer.

After all Pinkie.:pinkiehappy:

9298441
Too late I already fixed it, but I should have done that. DON'T QUESTION THE PINKIE PIE. I added a minor reference to this in the story.

"I have the first book in the series here," Pinkie told her "You can read it now."

"Pinkie, why do you have the Equestrian version of the book?" Sunset asked her.

"No I don't, silly," Pinkie said as she quickly swapped the book for the human version. "You should read this Dashie since you can't move, and your parents banned you from using the internet or watching movies.

Sincerely Sunset Shimmer (Richest Canterlot Resident)
Sincerely Princess Celestia (Richest Equestrian - I can brag too)
:rainbowlaugh:

for when the update

9367277
Sorry it's taking so long but I had 4 essays due last week (school ended the 21st for me) and I didn't want to write during Christmas. I have exams at the end of January so I likely won't be able to upload until those are over.

9367292
ok and I'm sorry for hurrying

why did you turn treehugger male if you wanted a guy for this why not use sandlewood

9445125
Sandalwood is a student and the shelter needs an adult to run it. Writing for Treehugger is also easier and more fun since we don't really know what Sandalwood sounds like.

this chapter felt pointless you even admit you just ripped off a episode of the show

9445297
Fair enough but I have to disagree, it establishes what the Wonderbolts are, it shows that Rainbow Dash still likes Daring Do in this world and the only bit that I stole was the Daring Do story (in italics) and the whole injury thing but I had to change that anyway because it was written for ponies and not humans.

The story will become more original now that I've had time to think through some storylines rather than just have a general plan and no specifics. (The new release tomorrow is going to kick off a major part of the plot, providing some exposition for what's to come)

You could call this "The Colors of the Sunset

9446955
That could work, but the name indicates that Sunset's character changes through the story when it really doesn't since the story starts after Sunset's major character change. (It will be included in my next story that focuses on Spitfire and has Sunset as a minor character).

Uh oh, that isn't good that Trixie now has Sunsets Journal, Trixie could fake writing as Sunset to Princess Celestia then, it's too bad that the book doesn't have a protection spell on it so that no one but the owner or those who the owner trusts can open the book.

9447141
Trixie isn't actually a bad person in this fic (as the next chapter will reveal). She just wants her father to notice her. I won't reveal anything else but Trixie isn't the type of person to impersonate others.

the apple jack stuff was un needed it was just ripping off a episode of the show

much better than the last couple of chapters for more original thoe some aspects feel forced you should have spent more time with sunset celestia luna and scoots at home to better set up scootaloo feeling bitter adn trtixies story just kinda feels forced

and speaking of trixie you wrote her rather flanderized

but still over all good chapter

I see someone's a fan of the Sunburst and Sunset siblings theory

9477535
Yeah, it doesn't really affect the story though. Fire ponies are best ponies (Sunburst, Sunset, Spitfire)

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