• Member Since 19th Dec, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Cojo5536


T

After being accused by her friends and left crying in the hallways of CHS, Sunset Shimmer wanders into the forests surrounding Canterlot. While there, she discovers something that changes her life and begins an adventure unlike any she had been on before. An evil has taken root at CHS. It's time to fight for friendship, take hold of the light, and -

ULTRA LIVE! ULTRAMAN GINGA!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 24 )

This is a good start, but I think you can do better. Instead of posting hyperlinks to the images, why not just put the images within the story text. There is an insert image icon when you paste your text for uploading. For example...this scene:

ULTRA LIVE: ULTRAMAN GINGA!

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSofx1J4Zhipd8DcUE0g0-_G_hRQgBnffGck7DDTRJ_d3Lg5nNZ

And when you describe Ginga, put an image of him like so:

vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ultra/images/5/56/Ultr_Ginga.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20170207032159

And maybe put in images to help give the image of the Taro Spark Doll and Ginga Spark:

Things like this can help give your story the much needed personality.

Not a bad first beginning. But it would look better with actual pictures instead of hyperlinks to images.

BTW, if you're starting a dialogue sentence, start with a capital.

Sunset emitted angry growl and grabbed the Ginga Spark, "is this thing telling me, that it chose me, BECAUSE I WISHED UPON A STAR!? WHAT KIND OF FAIRYTALE HORSEAPPLES IS THAT!?" She threw the Ginga Spark away in anger.

"Is this". The I is capital. Other examples apply.

You have my attention, my friend! Love the idea of Wallflower already knowing the situation with Taro & the fate of the worlds!

Pretty sure you meant Earth was Doomed, not Dommed. XD Still, interesting first step! I'll be tracking.

All I can say about this crossover is.

9394881
I personally have no idea. I never watched what ever this came from.

Can’t wait to see Sunset’s ultra form. Maybe once they figure who is behind the helmet and armor they might start to get a brain. Because of this question: why would Sunset be trying to save them if she’s anon-a-miss?

This is very interesting so far. It's nice to see another Toku Anon-A-Miss fic

After some consideration, I decided to move the symbol to Sunset's right hand due to having problems picturing it in my head.

This is good. Well, if I have to guess, it could be secret about Dust's sexual orientation, or her grandfather was the former athlete Wind Rider who was discovered cheating by taking enhancement drugs.

Funny idea. Angel Ultra Live to Lunaticks.

Lightning Dust's secret could be that she secretly has a crush on Rainbow Dash.

I hope Sunset rip in the other girls for how they acted to her in future chapters. I'm disgusted with Fluttershy for why she accused Sunset, following the crowd, I hope she realizes just how close she came to losing her friendship.

"Why didn't they listen to me?" She asks, tearfully reflecting on the previous days.

It all started when they found that stupid ball with the word idiot on it.

However as she turned to walk back to Canterlot High, a glint of light caught her eye. Searching for the source, she found an object shaped like a dagger that would not be out of place in a science fiction film leaning against a tree.

I'm personally more of a fan of descriptions rather than images, but I can manage

Sunset looked down and could not believe what she was looking at. At her feet was a small red and silver colored humanoid whose head was adorned with a pair of horns. What was more troubling though, was that it was waving at her.

Drugs, definitely magical drugs, there is no other explanation.

Sunset scared, confused, and far out of her depth, did something that any girl in her situation would do. She threw the device, and the toy and ran screaming back to CHS.

The magical unicorn from another world is out of depth, priceless. If this would have been a green USB-like device things would have turned out much better.

With a great deal of trepidation, Sunset slowly opened her bag, ready to run at the first sign of horns. Her worst fears were realized when a voice shouted from the bag, "HEY! WHAT IS-!"

Well, someone has a new friend, awww

Wallflower, however seemed to take offence to Sunset's mirth, "Why are you laughing? You're not exactly an Earthling yourself."

Took the words right out of my mouth.

BECAUSE I WISHED UPON A STAR!? WHAT KIND OF FAIRYTALE HORSEAPPLES IS THAT!?

No, no, no! If you wish upon a star you get a switch, not a Spark.

On a dark corner at an empty bus stop, a blue-skinned, silver-haired girl furiously muttered to herself about a secret that Anon-A-Miss posted about her. Unknown to her, however, she is not the only one at this stop. A shrouded figure watches from the shadow.

Ah, our lovely magician.

Ok, this was fun. It's not bad, a bit rough around the edges, but I'm sure this will improve the further along this goes. And it's an Ultraman story, those are rare. I definitely will keep an eye on this story. More Toku is never something bad.

First successful monster battle & Fluttershy back on Sunset's side! All in a good day's work!

Is fluttershy going to find a spark doll?

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Even if she did, without a Spark she can't use it.

9404608
If Trixie found one so can fluttershy. I could see this happening Fluttershy vs Rainbow. Or maybe Twilight vs sci-Twilight and the other match up

9404627
No, Trixie was ambushed then handed a Dark Dummy Spark by an evil alien, she didn't find it. Read the last part of the first chapter:

On a dark corner at an empty bus stop, a blue-skinned, silver-haired girl furiously muttered to herself about a secret that Anon-A-Miss posted about her. Unknown to her, however, she is not the only one at this stop. A shrouded figure watches from the shadow.

"My lord, are you certain this is the one?" It asks, pausing as though listening to a silent third party. "Yes, I feel it now. Her heart calls to your darkness. She will make a fine User."

The figure stepped out of the shadows, revealing a bizarre looking red and blue creature wielding a dark object, the Alien Metron.

The poor girl never stood a chance.

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