• Member Since 17th Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen 22 minutes ago

Alden MacManx

If you're living on borrowed time, do you have to return it?


Gordon T. Bayles, a middle-aged supply clerk for the government, finds himself first with a brain tumor, then getting brought to a place called Ponyville, changed into a blue and red unicorn. Given the restart by powers unknown, he decides to make the best of matters. Fortunately, he has fallen in with a most excellent group of ponies.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 56 )

It's a good start. I like the departures from the typical HiE/human-turned-pony stories.

As a bumper sticker I once had said, 'Why be normal?'

Better to meet Pinkie for the first time before the party rather than while she's screaming SURPRISE! in your face.

Little suprised Twilight was able to pull off meeting Pinkie Pie without Tristan having her pop up suddenly.. That does seem to be her thing

That's next chapter. They caught her behind the counter at Sugarcube Corner this time.

9165025 She still seems to be able to pop up suddenly shocking people

Turner is bad at subtlety.

Then again, the Doctor always was.

While Tristan is a Who fan, he is NOT a Whovian, he's a Trekkie. Hence his inability to recognize what he's seeing. Now, if he goes into the back room of the clock shop, it will be a tad different...

Like I was going to say its not HOW or WHERE... But WHO. Dr Who. XD

The "Doctor" in Doctor Who shouldn't be abbreviated, it's a name, not a title.

I prefer a latte with a couple of hot cinnamon doughnuts.

whatever you call the raised floor thrones sit on.

I don't know if you actually don't know it, or if it's just the character, but the word you want here is "dais".

And the worst thing is that our current society seems bent on insecthood. Should anything jerk it out from under us the "I don't know how to do that." line would kill more people than the event.

Oh, I knew it, but Tristan's brains just took a whack off the floor. I doubt he would remember his own name after that.

a place that reminded me of Arabia or Turkey, of all things.


I recognized the Heinlein quote within a few words, and I haven't even read that book in ages!

I had to look it up to quote it properly, to be honest. It fits, so I used it. It does stand out, yes?

It makes perfect sense that hammerspace is a thing that can be taught in a magical land of quadrupeds who infrequently wear clothes.

Edit: And Spike does it in his own way.

After all, Pinkie does come up with a lot of stuff out of nowheresville, and she does have this weird sense about ponies, so this shows a level of trust between her and Tristan that goes both ways.

Hehehehe wonder how long it will be before Tristan remembers why he recognizes terms Time Turner uses and some of the stuff he has

I don't suffer from paronomasia, I enjoy every minute of it.

I dunno, man. There's nothing WRONG with the story, per se, I just am not feeling it.

Guy leaves earth
ends up in Everfree forest
rescued by character(s) in mane 6
immediately relates to/is friends with them

I mean, it's been done hundreds of times before.

It's not a bad story. There's nothing wrong with it. It just seems cookie cutter/conformist? Maybe? I might be making something out of nothing. I'm not sure. It's just hard to feel motivated to read any further, when I feel like I've read it a dozen times already. I:'ll add it to my 'read later' shelf, maybe I'll give it another try later.

Don't feel too bad about it, HB. This story is more personal than anything else. Came about due to an unexpected hospital stay two months ago. Nothing I write will be for everyone. It's also something different for me, a challenge as a writer for me to write in the Mane 6/Equestria scene, something I have been avoiding since I started writing.

I would not know too much about cookie cutter, because it is not a habit of mine to read such tales. Some, yes. Constant, no.

Your opinion is always welcome.

I figure that rock n' roll's more something that Baltimare and Manehatten would enjoy, while Ponyville ponies would be divided between pop, classical and EDM.

9180942 It's actually sad and I honestly can't multitask to save a life. Especially since it's important in culinary arts!

Cadence is probably just planting a seed of a thought...

Cadence was just so influenced by the music she was seeing things that aren't there all those GOOD Vibrations

Tristan's gonna figure it out soon. Time Turner's voice should sound very familiar to him.

It does, he just can't place it. The truth is just too bizarre for him to figure out. After all, that's just a TV show, it's not REAL...

Reminds me of the one quest in Fallout 4 with classical music.

I hope that is a good thing. Never have played any of the Fallout games.

If they kept that kind of thing up, they would make a good comedy duo.

So far it comes off to me as ... aggressively bland, if that makes any sense. Main character quips left and right while effortlessly being inserted into the daily life of the Mane 6. The only thing that stood out is when he apparently knocked himself unconscious or something and the story just cut right to waking up in bed with no explanation of the in-between (and waking up to a faceful of sun bothers him about as much as your average vampire).

I'm sure this story has a target audience that will love it, but I'm almost in pain right now. I hate to leave stories unfinished but I have to bail out. But you can rest assured that it was relatively free of technical errors.

I have no problems with that. If you feel it is free of technical errors, I count that as a win. This whole particular story is an experiment in writing for me. Get it out, and find out what i did right and what i did worng, so the next story can be that much better.

Need the playlist, or the general makeup of it. Good story so far. No glaring grammatical mistakes, the only critique is that it seems just a tad rushed, but not bad.

Seeing as I wrote the whole thing in three weeks a month after getting out of the hospital for something that damn near killed me, it turned out better than I thought.

I do have the complete playlist (all 585 songs) made up, I just need to figure out a way to transcribe them. Think fifties through seventies and you won't be too far off.

The light sensitivity comes from me- hats and/or sunglasses are a necessity for me here in the desert southwest.

You did one great job then. As for the music list, it's from when music was good then!

My Old Bam-Boo was from Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang, it was how Caraticus Potts got the money to buy Chitty!

I forgot about that part... I just like the tune!

when an idea comes up and Gibbsmacks me in the back of the head

I take it all three Brothers Gibb were involved?

hum i wonder is Tristan thinking of captain jack harkness??

Venusian Aikido (sometimes called Venusian karate) was an unarmed combat style used frequently by the Third, Twelfth and Thirteenth Doctors to defend themselves and others.
i may be a bit of a DR Who fan.

As am I. Thing is, Tristan just could not associate a TV show with the pony he's met here. It just cannot be!

He may be thinking of Captain Jack, but not being a real big fan of the show, all he can say is, it looked familiar.

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