A dying modern-day middle aged American man finds himself in Equestria, changed into a blue unicorn. How can he cope with all the changes?
Gordon T. Bayles, a middle-aged supply clerk for the government, finds himself first with a brain tumor, then getting brought to a place called Ponyville, changed into a blue and red unicorn. Given the restart by powers unknown, he decides to make the best of matters. Fortunately, he has fallen in with a most excellent group of ponies.
My name, when I was born, was Gordon Tristan Bayles. Now, it is a bit different. I’m nowhere near home, stuck in a rather fascinating place. How did I get here? Damned if I know. Do I like it here? Yeah, you can say that.
It was a cloudy blustery day outside as I parked my car in a lot at Devil’s Hopyard State Park. I usually wouldn’t, but I wanted a walk in the woods, to settle my mind some. I had got out of the hospital earlier that day, and I needed time to deal with what I learned.
Glioblastoma.
An ugly word for an ugly disease. Essentially incurable, and now I’m staring a death sentence in the face. Not pleasant, is it? Let me tell you, it’s not.
The week before, I was rushed to the base hospital when it looked like I had suffered a stroke at my desk in the supply office. They ran test after test, scan after scan, trying to find out the cause. After a day, I was fine, but they kept me there. Friends and co-workers dropped by, looking after me and my apartment while I was laid up. Yesterday, my doctors gave me the diagnosis.
After they let me out, with instructions as to when I would have to go to Lawrence and Memorial hospital across the river for my first dose of radiation and chemotherapy, I headed to my favorite ‘be at peace’ spot, out in the woods, walking by a stream.
A lot was going through my mind at the time. Here I am, forty-six years old, four years in the Navy, twenty-four years working for the government in a civilian capacity, second in line of command at the supply center, and now I was told I was not going to live to see next Christmas. Probably not even the next World Series. I had to hope next season, the Red Sox would fall flat on their faces and give the Yankees a chance to get in the big dance again. Actually, I was hoping to be able to SEE the Yankees kick Boston butt. Only reason I would make the trip to Fenway Park and Yankee Stadium, having season tickets to both places, was to see and hope the Yankees would win.
Such were my thoughts as I walked along the stream, feeling the wind pick up some. I pulled my jacket collar a bit closer, reset the hat on my shaved head (damn biopsy surgery) and kept walking. I thought about my uncle Alfred, who had died of a tumor as well a few years before, but he did not have what I had. No, he lasted five years before giving up the ghost. Then again, he was nearing ninety.
I shivered some as the wind at my back chilled even more, and some rain started splatting down. A boom of thunder faintly rolled through the woods. “Now even Mother Nature can’t give me a good day to walk about in,” I muttered as I kept on walking, looking about for a place to shelter if the rain picked up. Being in the hospital for a week made me all the more eager to be out and about in the fresh air. I really hate hospitals. Good people, bad place.
A louder boom of thunder rolled through as it got even colder. “What the hell is going on?” I muttered to myself as I looked about. Above me, the clouds were getting more threatening, dark and gray and building up fast, moving my way. With a curse learned way back when in boot camp, I decided to head back to my car, which was the best shelter I knew of.
The rain picked up as I made my way back, soon coming down in sheets, comforters and pillowcases, soaking me to the skin. “Dammit, I had one shower already this morning, and it was WARM!” I groused as I kept on going, abandoning the idea that I would make it back dry and hoping I would not get back to the car frozen.
The car was in sight when I felt a terribly cold downdraft, saw a bolt of lightning, felt a clap of thunder, and felt a big pain on my head and shoulders as everything went black. Next thing I knew, it was dark, I was soaked, I was cold, I was on the ground and I had a headache that defied description. Not knowing anything better to do, I passed out again.
I woke up slowly, sensation slowly returning. As I came to, I did an inventory of what I was feeling. Headache, there, but barely. Body warm and comfortable. My hands and feet felt off, not bad, just… different. I was not lying on the cold hard ground, it felt like a warm soft bed. I let out a yawn and a stretch, my hand bumping against something. I felt the bump, but what I heard made no sense at all, that being a dull thump. Times like this makes me not want to open my eyes.
“About time you started waking up, young stallion. It’s been four days already. You took a bad whack to your head and horn. Good thing somepony found you in the Everfree Forest and brought you here,” I heard from near my bed.
“Horn? What horn?” I muttered as I carefully opened my eyes. I knew if I did it quickly, the glare would hurt. Lifelong light sensitivity made me wary.
“Why, the horn on your head, of course,” the voice said, now near my bed. My eyes were slow to focus on the source of the voice, but they did. Imagine my surprise when the first face I saw was that of a yellow horse with a white blaze going down the nose, and a white and yellow swirled horn climbing out of its brow. The horse retreated at my scream of startlement. I would have retreated if I was not in bed.
My scream redoubled as I waved my hands in front of my face, only to see the hands were brick-red hooves attached to two dark blue furred legs, followed by some of the more picturesque language I picked up during a port visit to Le Havre, France years ago. The yellow and white horse snapped sharply at me, “Will you calm down on your own, or do I need to give you a tranquilizer?”
I promptly stopped my screaming. I loathe tranquilizers, and how they make me feel. “I’m sorry for the screaming and the harsh language. What in the name of sweet damn all happened to me?” I said in as level a voice as I could manage.
“You were apparently struck by a falling branch while out in the forest during a sudden storm. You were lucky that somepony found you and sent for help, Princess Twilight herself teleporting you here for treatment. The healing spells did their job, but you were unconscious for four days before waking up. I decided to just let you sleep off whatever happened to you,” the horse said, whom I finally noticed was wearing a white coat and had a stethoscope around his neck. I say ‘his’ because his voice sounded male to me.
I looked at him like he was reciting the Lord’s Prayer to me in Serbo-Croatian, backwards. “Excuse me? Princess? Teleport? Healing spells?” I managed to ask.
“Yes. I know you’re not from around here, but the Princess did not give me details. Now that you are awake, I’m to notify her, and she will be here soon to interview you. For now, just relax and come back to coherency. You’re going to want your wits about you during your chat,” the doctor told me, his stethoscope lifting up in a yellow-white aura, going into his ears and up to my chest, listening just like a doctor would. Hope he liked what I heard, my heart going at about the speed of the beat of La Bamba. “Easy now, just relax. The Princess will be here within an hour, so just calm down and be ready to answer questions.” He stowed his stethoscope and left the room, using his aura to open the door and close it again.
I just lay there in bed, left to my thoughts. I looked around the room, for lack of anything better to do. One thing that struck me was the lack of a TV, radio, or telephone. The IV line running into my arm (foreleg?) was plastic, there was a heart monitor with a paper trace near the bed, the pens tracing out lines which, for all I knew, were describing the beat to the Macarena.
With some effort, I managed to flip the sheet off me, using my arms. I was naked underneath, dark blue fur running from my chest all the way down my legs. Some more looking, and it finally dawned on me what ‘hung like a stallion’ truly meant. Mind you, I’ve never been one to sleep with ladies, or anyone for that matter, but now I was thinking of reconsidering my opinion.
I did find a mirror in my line of sight, which let me see enough of my face to give me a shock. My face was covered in the same dark blue fur as the rest of my body, my eyes were a vivid green in color, my hair (mane?) is the same deep brick red as my hooves, striped with what looked to me was platinum blonde in a bold stroke between my horse like ears and again part way down my neck. I could only glimpse that part.
My horn, though, was what grabbed my attention and would not let go. It was a silvery-white spire that jutted from my brow, with a stripe of bright red spiraling its way up, like an old barber pole. “I hope that does not mean I’m a barber now, I have not cut hair since I was at sea,” I muttered as I took in the staggering sight. I mean, before, I was just the average human being, not much to look at, brown hair just starting to go gray at the temples, more than a bit overweight because I was not one for running or jogging. Now, apparently, I was a lean, mean blue and red stallion.
My thoughts then took a sudden lurching turn, my mental wheels barely able to stay on the metaphorical road. The glioblastoma. It would kill me within a year or so. I would not have long to enjoy this new horse like form. I thought about getting up, but the IV in my arm put an end to that idea. So, with nothing better to do, I laid back, waiting for this Princess to come by, my thoughts racing each other like they had entered the Daytona 500 and were intent on setting new lap times.
Somehow, I managed to fall back asleep, because the next thing I knew, I could hear several voices whispering around my bed.
“He’s looking better than when we found him,” I heard a cultured voice say.
“My general-purpose heal spell did its job, all right. It just took much longer than usual to work. Must have been some hidden damage I could not sense,” said another voice, by her tones it was obvious to me she had some education, a good one. I recognized the tendency in her tones to lapse into geek speak, something I have to watch out about when I’m talking about my work.
“Hey! Maybe I can throw a nice big welcoming party for him! He needs to be introduced to Ponyville, and I know he just loves vanilla cupcakes!” another voice said, one whose excitement, I have to say, was infectious- to a point. That voice startled me enough to open my eyes.
The first thing I saw was a blue horse with wings hovering over the foot of my bed, wings slowly flapping. It had a rainbow mane that fluttered slightly in pace with its wings. It was looking straight at me. “Pinkie, you woke him up!” she said, her voice instantly identifying ‘it’ as a ‘she’.
A purple horse moved up next to my bed, with a purple and pink mane and a long horn. “Hello, Mister Bayles. How do you feel this afternoon?” she said, putting a face to the second voice I heard.
“How do you know my name?” I managed to ask, staring now at the purple one.
“We found your identification cards in your billfold. That’s how we know your name and where you’re from. How you got here to Ponyville, that I’m still working on figuring out. I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. With me are my friends, who will help you as you adjust to being here,” she said, a warm smile on her face.
“Well, that’s good. Can you all teach me how to be a horse? I’m afraid to get out of bed. I might fall and break something,” I managed to say.
“Don’t worry, Tristan! We’ll teach you EVERYTHING you need to know!” exclaimed the third voice, revealing itself to be a pink little horse who had a big puffy hair style that stayed put even as she bounced around in place in what looked to be sheer excitement.
I watched her bounce in place as Twilight said, “Easy, Pinkie Pie. He only just woke up. Yes, we will teach you everything you need to know, as well as putting you up for a while, until you get established. That won’t be hard for you to do, not in Ponyville.”
“Ponyville? How did I get from the Devil’s Hopyard to Ponyville? Just where IS this Ponyville?” I asked, my brain slipping a gear.
“Why, in Equestria, of course! Everypony knows that!” the blue winged one said with a snort.
“Well, I’m not everypony, I’m Gordon Bayles, a stranger here. Will you ladies help me go from ‘stranger’ to ‘friend’?” I asked, starting to like this group. “I would like that very much.”
“Well, tarnation, Sugarcube, you have an attitude like that and we’ll get you friended up and settled in next to no tahm!” another voice said from farther back in the room. Lifting my neck up, I saw an orange horse with a blonde mane and a hat. A cowboy hat. I also glimpsed a little yellow and pink pony with wings in the back of the room, just looking at me.
“Applejack is right, Mister Bayles. Let’s get the doctor back in here to unhook your lines and we’ll get you to my place to start your training. Fluttershy, would you please get Doctor Pacer?” she asked, looking at the little yellow and pink winged horse.
“Okay, Twilight,” she said in a soft voice, opening the door and slipping out.
We all chatted for a while, until the doctor came in, disconnected my heart monitors and IV, before lowering the sides of the bed. I rolled out of bed, landing with all four hooves on the carpeted floor (a detail I had not noticed before) and promptly fell in a heap. “Step one in learning how to be a pony- learn how to stand…” I muttered, causing most of the girls to giggle. I had to smile as well. I did manage to get to my feet, er, hooves and took a few cautious steps.
“It’s good to be back on my feet. I’ve spent the better part of the last two weeks in a hospital bed, and I’m sick of it,” I said as I just let my body settle in to being a pony, not a person. I found if I did NOT think of moving or walking about, it would just come naturally.
“Why were you in the hospital?” asked Rarity, the white one I first heard.
I went grim, my nose falling almost to the floor for a few seconds before looking at Rarity. “I had been given a death sentence, Miss Rarity. A brain tumor destined to kill me within a year and change. I had just been released a few hours before, just walking in the woods before I arrived here.”
The girls all looked shocked, Rarity the most. Doctor Pacer just looked startled. “I didn’t see any traces when I examined you sir, and I did so multiple times,” he said.
“They had just spotted it. It’s small, and near my balance centers. They thought I had a stroke at my desk, when I fell out of my chair,” I explained.
“Maybe my heal spell fixed it. It did last longer than usual. I just thought you were badly injured,” Twilight explained. “In fact, you were badly injured, a heavy branch having landed on your back and neck. It’s a good thing Zecora found you and let me know rapidly.”
“Hey, nopony’s faster than me!” Rainbow Dash said from her hover. “I’m glad I was seeing Zecora for some potions when we both heard the crash, thump and moaning. Even over the rain, we heard it.”
“You flew through a thunderstorm?” I asked Rainbow Dash, as I slowly walked around the room.
“Heck, yeah! Nothing to it!” Rainbow Dash said boldly, doing a little loop in the air.
I tried to do what I thought would be a courtly bow but wound up faceplanting into the carpet. “Thank you for my life, Rainbow Dash…” I muttered into the deep pile, to laughter all around.
A purple glow surrounded me, taking my nose out of the carpet and getting me upright. “Let’s get going before it gets dark, Mister Bayles. I’m sure you want out of the hospital as quick as possible,” Twilight said. “You must be hungry by now.”
“You just might be right, Princess,” I said with a touch of humor, just before my stomach let out a rumble that could have been measured on the Richter scale. I blushed so hard my ears almost caught fire as the others giggled. “Lead on, please.”
The walk out of the hospital and to the castle impressed me a lot. Seeing Ponyville, a small town with an eclectic mix of shops, houses, and ponies made me long a bit for my childhood in southern New York, in a small town where almost everyone knew everyone else, and no national chains ever set up shop in it. The castle now was another level of impressiveness. It was unlike any castle I have ever seen, which I admit was not many, but they were all in a rundown condition. This one glittered in the afternoon sun, looking fresh and lively, just like its inhabitants.
Inside, the group led me to the kitchen, where I met Spike, a little dragon who apparently is the Princess’ aide, chief cook and bottle washer. I sniffed at the aromas and started to drool just a little. I can cook, but not well. This little dragon could teach me a thing or two in the kitchen, for sure!
The Princess and the rest introduced me to Starlight Glimmer, a pony who was described as Twilight’s apprentice in learning about friendship. She joined us for dinner and gave me my first lesson on how to manipulate objects as a pony. Once I managed to fully get a grip on the utensils, I was able to eat this most delicious dinner that Spike had prepared. Some of the ingredients, I must admit were a bit strange to me, but my hunger did not let my mind do anything more than wonder at the meal and the company.
Once dinner was done, I found myself letting out a yawn, a big one. “Gordon, I think you have done enough for today. Starlight, please show him to a guest room and instruct him on how to do everything necessary,” the Princess instructed.
“Will do, Twilight! Gordon, please follow me,” Starlight said to me
I got up from my seat. “Ladies, thank you very much for this afternoon and evening. Tomorrow, maybe I can start learning just what this head spike of mine can do,” I said to the group as I followed Starlight.
“Good night, Tristan!” “Sleep well, lazybones!” “Do have a pleasant night.” “See yuh tomorrow!” “Good night,” trailed after me as I left the dining room. The walk to the guest room was quiet, because I could see Starlight trying to figure out just where my room is.
“Having trouble, Starlight?” I asked politely.
“This castle is so big, even I have trouble navigating my way around,” she replied before coming to a decision. “This way.”
We went ‘this way’ for another hall, two corners and umpteen doors before she found the door she wanted. “This is your room for as long as you stay here,” Starlight said as she opened the door. The suite reminded me of a luxury hotel room I once saw when on vacation in Atlantic City, minus a few amenities. Normally, I like to sleep with a radio playing, because silence really gets under my skin- I feel something is wrong when it gets too quiet for too long. She gave me the nickel tour of the suite before bidding me a good night. I climbed up on the bed and was out cold in seconds, I’m positive.
Normally, I don’t dream, or at least I don’t remember them. This dream was remarkable from the outset. I was sitting on a cloud, a long way up in the nighttime sky, a big full moon lending its touch to the scene. That was something I admired, being out in the full moonlight, just walking or driving. I find it a good way to relax.
I caught some motion out of the corner of my eye, something flying towards me. I looked at it, and the whateveritwas resolved into a pony a lot like Princess Twilight, meaning it was a pony with wings and a horn. Instead of a nice purple hue, this one was black as night, with the sign of a crescent moon on its flanks. I had noticed the flank pictures on all the ponies but decided not to ask just yet. I was sure I would find out in due time, and besides, I didn’t have one. This black pony lighted on the cloud next to me.
“Greetings, Gordon Bayles. Welcome to Equestria. I am Princess Luna. I rule the dreamscape. Yes, you are dreaming, and I decided to make my presence known. You are wondering how you arrived in Equestria, are you not?” she asked me.
Now, this pony was bigger than me, almost the size of a true horse. I decided to be candid, but as formal as I could be while doing so. “Yes Princess, I am wondering how I got here. Did I fall into a hole between dimensions, or pass through a faerie gate? Do you know if the ticket is one way, or can I hope for a round trip?” I asked.
“It is hoped that the trip, for you, is one way, because if you return to your home world, the thing in your head will awaken and start removing your life, bit by small bit. How you got here, I do not know for certain, but my sister and I will investigate the matter closely. The Everfree Forest is home to many strange and unusual creatures, objects and magics. It will take some time to answer if you can go back or not,” she told me, putting a wing over my back and giving me a hug. I must admit; the hug was very pleasant. It made me feel comfortable.
“Then, why am I here? What can I do with myself? I’m nobody exceptional, just a supply clerk who rose as high as his ambition would take him. Somehow, I don’t think my skills will be useful here, Princess,” I told her candidly.
“You have skills, Gordon Bayles, that you do not recognize as skills, that will prove their value here. You do like to read and study, yes?” Luna asked me.
I had to smile, blush a bit and look away. “Princess, without having much of a social life, nor the desire to really have one, I had to do SOMETHING with my time. Yes, I had an extensive library, reading about and practicing many different skills. How could that be of use here?”
“I believe the saying is, a little knowledge can be dangerous? Here, your little bit of everything will find its niche. Have you not said that you specialize in generalities?” she asked me with a warm smile.
“How did you know I said that, Princess? Yes, I have said that, and it is something I believe in. I find it useful and entertaining, but how will it be useful here?” I asked in reply.
“Once you learn how to use your magic, you will soon find just how useful your skills and knowledge will be, my little pony. Wake up now, and trust your teachers, especially Twilight. She knows more than she has told you so far and has had many experiences that will put you and her in some sort of tune. We shall meet again, Gordon Bayles.” Luna said as she faded from sight, as did the dreamscape.
I woke up to find myself in bed, the morning light on my face. I made the mistake of opening my eyes, in my confusion of coming out of such a vivid dream. I shut them rapidly, letting out a bit of a scream that I hope was not heard in Westerly. Damn photosensitivity.
When I opened my eyes again, using the pillow as a shield (how I picked it up in my hooves at the time, I’m not totally sure), Spike was standing beside the bed. “Are you all right, Gordon? That scream was pretty loud. Twilight sent me to check on you.”
“Good morning, Spike. I will be, once my eyes stop aching. Getting full morning sun in my eyes is not conducive to a pleasant wake up. Is it breakfast time yet?” I managed to ask without sounding irritated.
“It is, Gordon. What would you like?” the little dragon asked.
“Can I ask for pancakes, two fried eggs, toast and coffee?” I asked back as I struggled to get out of the grasp of that most comfortable bed.
So help me, Spike pulled a scroll and a quill pen from somewhere and wrote my breakfast order down. “Not a problem! Give me about ten minutes to get it ready, okay?” he said eagerly.
“Ten minutes, aye. Thank you in advance, Spike. I’ll be there presently.”
“Just take a left once you step out and follow your nose!” Spike said before running off. I shakily made my way to the bathroom, where I settled on a damp toweling down instead of a shower that morning, because I was not entirely sure if I would be done in time. The brush for my mane was fortunately easy to grasp, so I brushed it down, admiring the colors and length. I never could manage to pull off long hair looking good, much less doing a two tone. I have to say I do like brick red and platinum together.
Spike’s directions worked, and I made it to the dining room just as he brought out a tray with my breakfast on it. I sought out the butter and applied liberal amounts to both the pancakes and the toast before I took a pull from the coffee mug. I damn near aerosoled the contents all over the dining room. “Are you okay?” Spike called from the kitchen.
“Forgot to ask for cream and sugar, Spike. Is there any here?” I called back, using the linen napkin to quickly erase the traces of my bout of spray-can-itis.
“They are on the table, just a little way down from you, Gordon.” I looked and found the desired items.
“Thank you, Spike!” I called out as I altered the coffee to my own taste before taking a sip. This time, the coffee was like liquid ambrosia, sliding down easily and giving my brain the needed kick start.
I was just finishing the pancakes and eggs when Starlight and Twilight entered the room, Spike bringing out their desired breakfasts. “Good morning!” I managed to say after swallowing. “What is the Plan of the Day?”
“Today, we are going to try to teach you how to use your magic, at least on the most basic levels, as in light and telekinesis,” Twilight said as she lifted her utensils in her purple aura.
“I’m looking forward to the experience, Princess. It will help me feel like I can fit in here,” I said as I dunked my toast into the coffee and took a bite.
“I know some methods that should help. I once took a trip to a place where I was changed into a humanoid form, and I remember the drills I did after I returned here,” she told me.
“Then again, you had the advantage of knowing what you did before you went there, Twilight,” Starlight said between bites of her breakfast.
“True enough, but I’m sure the same drills will help Gordon learn how to use his horn like we do,” Twilight replied.
“Then again, if you have confidence in my ability to use magic, then I should start telling myself that I can, once I’m shown just what and how to do it. I don’t disbelieve it, watching you two ladies, I just have to convince myself that I can do it as well,” I told the pair of unicorns.
“Well, let’s get started on the basic ideas and theories of magic in Equestria, shall we?” Twilight asked as a large wheeled blackboard was rolled out. All the way to lunch, Twilight lectured, with Starlight as teaching aide, and I listened and practiced. Twilight is a fascinating teacher, and her enthusiasm showed. Good thing I was equally eager to learn from her and learn I did. Before lunch, I had managed to manifest a reddish glow from my horn and managed to lift a fork. Manipulating it came a bit later, but I was able to do it, to enthusiastic praise from my teachers.
“You learn fast, Gordon. You should be proud,” Starlight said as she brought out lunch, Spike being occupied in another job.
“So, I like learning. I just had to convince myself I could. Now that I can, the door is open, and I can follow the path as far as it goes. WHERE it goes, I don’t know yet,” I said as Twilight refilled my coffee mug. With focus and effort, I managed to use my glow to add cream and sugar to the coffee.
“That’s the way to do it, Gordon!” Twilight said happily, obviously proud of my progress.
“What’s set for after lunch?” I asked as I took one of the sandwiches off the plate, using my hoof instead of my glow. I was hungry, and I knew I could handle a sandwich.
“We’ll take you on a tour of Ponyville and meet some of the ponies here. After all, just staying in the castle can get boring.,” Twilight said as she put the blackboard away.
“That sounds like a plan to me,” I said after taking a bite from the sandwich. I’m not sure what was in it, but it sure was good!
Our wanders took us all around the village, meeting ponies and seeing sights. At the Carousel Boutique, Rarity and I got into a discussion of clothing styles and habits between this world and my own. She insisted on making me clothes to wear for formal situations. I did not put up much of a fight. She took my measurements (which were markedly different than before) and got them written down. Before leaving the boutique, I purchased (okay, was gifted) a hat I could wear to keep the sun out of my eyes. It resembled a Greek fisherman’s cap, but longer instead of round, to go between my ears. Hey, it did the job, going outside I didn’t have to squint.
Our next stop was a place called Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie Pie worked. By the time we left, I had not only demonstrated my limited skill in cake decorating, I was unsure if I could look at a vanilla cupcake any time in the next six months. When I asked Pinkie how she knew I liked vanilla cupcakes, Starlight and Twilight said at the same time, “It’s just Pinkie.” I took it in stride, thanked the pink pony for the cupcakes, and followed my guides to our next stop, Sweet Apple Acres. “Don’t forget your Welcome to Ponyville party tonight, Tristan!” Pinkie shouted as we left the store.
“Are her parties like she is?” I asked as we put some distance between us and Sugarcube Corner.
“Yes, they are,” Twilight told me.
“Oy VEY!” I muttered as we walked.
“I don’t know what that means, but I agree to the sentiment,” Starlight said in agreement.
Applejack met us at the farm and gave me the nickel tour, showing me around the farmhouse and the closer fields, gently quizzing me about my life before I had arrived in Equestria. I answered as honestly as I could, either explaining some concepts that did not exist here, or glossing over it with the excuse of ‘it will take a long time to explain that’. She accepted my explanations without any complaint.
When she demonstrated to me what ‘apple bucking’ was, I looked at her with more respect. “Do remind me not to get on your bad side, Applejack. It’s an experience I would soon let pass by,” I told her. “While I can fight, I prefer to pick where, when and whom. With you, ‘where’ and ‘when’ will not be important, because the ‘whom’ says it would be a bad idea. Besides, I won’t fight a friend.”
Applejack smiled at me after I said that. “Tristan, ah like what you said and how you said it. Ah believe you, and thank you fer calling me a friend,” she said.
“That’s how I feel. I would like to get to know you, and all the others, a bit better. We have time for that. I’m in no hurry, but I will welcome the learning,” I said in reply.
Applejack paused, took off her hat, and scratched her blonde mane a little. “You know, you sound as brainy as Twilight, but different. More understandable.”
I gave Applejack a slight bow, all I was feeling safe to give at the time. “Thank you, madam. I will save my incomprehensibilities until a later date. Now, it is time for clarity and openness,” I said to her, meaning what I said. I’m like that anyway. “The heck with the brainy talk, let’s be friends. Can you show me that apple bucking again? I want to give it a try.”
“A pony after mah own heart!” Applejack laughed before taking me to a tree and demonstrating before I gave it a try. I must have done something wrong, because she had to go get Twilight to come out and heal my hoof. After the buck, which didn’t bring down a single apple, I could not put any weight on my left hind hoof.
We had lunch there at the farm, which Granny Smith prepared, a delightful old pony who reminded me a lot of my own grandmother. She declined my offer to help her cook and told me to sit down while she did lunch. When she spoke, I listened!
Our last stop was to visit Fluttershy, who lived on the other side of Ponyville, near the Everfree Forest. She took care of sick and injured animals there. I went with her as she introduced me to the animals she was caring for. Many of them were friendly to me, and I to them, with one exception. Angel Bunny. That bunny was no angel for sure! When the rabbit balked at Fluttershy’s request to say hello to me, I just looked at the rabbit sadly. “Angel, you do not know what you are missing,” I said to the rabbit, who snorted and dashed away.
“That’s interesting. He doesn’t listen to anypony…” Fluttershy said in her low voice, looking surprised.
“Well, I’m not one to take any guff from anyone, be it a person or an animal. You push me, I push back. Angel wants to behave badly, I will either ignore him, warn him, or teach him a new meaning of ‘bad attitude’. That’s just for the nasty ones. I’d much rather be a friend. It’s easier that way,” I said to the little yellow and pink pegasus.
“Yes, it is,” Fluttershy agreed.
I told Fluttershy that I was interested in dropping by and lend a hoof taking care of the animals, once I was allowed to go out and about unescorted. “Why would you offer that, Tristan?” she asked.
“Friends help friends,” I said. “Need there be any other reason?”
“Looks to me you don’t need any friendship lessons,” Starlight said. “You’re practicing then already.”
‘I’m a stranger in a strange land, Starlight. I would much rather have friends here, especially since I don’t know as much as I need to thrive here. I’m using the smarter play, not the harder play.”
“Do you mind if everypony call you ‘Tristan’, Gordon?” Twilight asked as we prepared to head back to Ponyville.
“Well, Pinkie started it. Why buck a trend? At least it’s better than what you COULD call me, but don’t,” I said with calm and poise. I never much cared for my middle name, but I’m definitely not the Gordon Bayles of two weeks before.
“Now, the only one left to meet is Rainbow Dash. She’s doing weather control today, and she will meet us near the castle, on her break,” Twilight said after we bid Fluttershy goodbye.
“Weather control?” I asked, somewhat naively.
“Yes. Rain is scheduled for late tonight, and she and her team are getting clouds lined up for it,” Twilight replied.
I came to a full stop. “Getting clouds lined up?” I asked, my brain rapidly approaching Weirdness Overload.
“Why, yes. If you look up that way, you can see the pegasi working on gathering clouds!” Twilight said, pointing up and ahead.
I looked up, and saw some winged ponies fly up to a cloud and ram into it, pushing the cloud to a larger one, where it merged. My brain not only rushed to Weirdness Overload, it embraced it like a long-lost friend and started chatting. As for me, I took immediate action. Meaning, I passed out. How to define Weirdness Overload? The pitcher in your head suddenly balks in a runner from third, in a tie game, in the bottom of the ninth with two outs.
I woke up to Twilight standing over me. “One too many surprising things?” she asked.
“No, actually it’s more like five too many, it’s just that there was a delay in shipping and they all arrived at once,” I said as I picked myself up off the grass, Starlight hiding a giggle behind a hoof.
“I’ll be sure to have the postal mare know she will have to pick up the pace,” Twilight said drily as I got up, not without a smile playing around some on her face.
“You do that, please. Now, shall we? I don’t want to keep Rainbow Dash waiting,” I said casually, using my tail to flick bits of grass off my blank flank. Just how I managed that, all I can say is answer unclear, ask again later.
“You won’t. I’m already here,” came Rainbow Dash’s voice from above and behind us. I froze in place before slowly turning my head to look. There she was, hovering about six feet off the ground, wings lazily flapping. “Boo,” she said.
I rolled onto my side, feigning shock. Rainbow Dash laughed as she did a couple of tight loops. “Gotcha!” she shouted.
“You did. May I try to get you some day?” I asked as I got up off the ground.
“Oh, you can try, but you won’t get anywhere!”
I looked right at Rainbow Dash. “Of course, you know this means war…” I said, enunciating clearly in almost the Queen’s English, keeping a straight face, but letting my eyes show my good humor.
“Okay, buddy! You are SO on!” she said with a laugh, reaching down with a forehoof for what I thought would be a ‘high five’. I was right, and our hooves clocked against each other companionably.
I laughed as well. I could come to like this brash young lady. “Going to be at the party tonight?”
“Oh, yeah! Pinkie’s parties are not to be missed! Hey, I gotta get back to work. Catch you later and watch your back!” Rainbow Dash said before taking off at a speed I would not expect from a winged creature.
I watched her leave, thinking to myself as to how to adapt a game of ‘Killer’ to these circumstances. My thoughts were interrupted by Twilight. “Tristan? Let’s get going. We don’t want to be late to your party!”
I shook some as my train of thought got derailed. “Oh. Yeah. Sure. Let’s get going,” I managed to say. “Lead the way.”
Starlight asked me as we walked, “What were you thinking of?”
“How to engage in a prank war with Rainbow Dash without losing my shirt,” I explained, my mind only half on the talking part.
“Warn me when you start, and do it AWAY from the castle,” Twilight warned. “I don’t need Rainbow Dash flying through the halls… and windows. Again.”
“By your command,” I droned in my best Cylon impersonation.
“Did anyone tell you, you can be so strange at times?” Starlight asked.
“Just about everyone who got to know me. To me, ‘normal’ is a setting on a dishwasher. I do things my way, the way that ensures a smile in my wake. I’ve never been outgoing, but I’m not a recluse, either. The way I see matters now, you ponies are doing your best to help me. I had best give as good as I get, right?” I said in reply.
“Seems to me you’re doing a fine job, Tristan,” Twilight said. “Starting tomorrow, we’ll do lessons in the morning, and wander time in the afternoon. Tonight, it’s the party.”
“Party… Twilight, do you have the clothes I arrived here in?” I asked. “I want to see if I still have my phone and charger.”
“Yes, they are back at the castle. Why would you want it? You can’t call anyone from here,” Twilight said with some surprise.
“It’s not the phone function I’m looking for, it’s the music player function. If we’re going to a party, I might as well bring some music!” I said with a smile. I have about five hundred songs on my phone, which I would plug into my car stereo when driving to Boston or New York. I love upbeat music, and I can carry a tune. I learned how to play keyboard and drums back home and kept it up. I’m by no means a professional, but nobody ever ran in horror from my playing.
“But, any charge in it would have drained by now,” Twilight protested.
“I’m one who manages to sometimes forget to plug it in at night, so I started carrying a portable charger around with me in my coat pocket. It’s slow, but it will enable me to charge the phone enough to make a call if I needed to. Takes a couple hours of cranking to put a good charge in the battery,” I explained.
“Phone? Charger? Battery? What are you talking about?” Starlight asked.
“I’ll be happy to give you the electricity and electronics one-oh-one course at a future time, Starlight. I will need a drawing board and time to prepare. By the time I’m done, you will understand,” I said to the pinkish unicorn.
“Can I sit in on the lecture, Tristan? I may learn something I don’t already know,” Twilight asked.
“Of course, you may, Twilight. Just how did you know what a phone is?” I asked in reply.
“I went on a trip to another world, one that is a lot like here, but with humans instead of ponies. They used phones there, but I never had a chance to understand just how they worked.”
“I’ll do my best to explain all that I can, Twilight, to all interested in learning. I just have to hope I get it right. It’s not like I memorized all the details.”
“I’m sure the best you can do will be more than adequate to teach me something new. I’ll take it from there,” Twilight said as we neared the castle.
It turned out the phone had about a twenty percent charge on it, so I spent an hour before the party cranking the charger, with Twilight’s and Starlight’s help. Using our glows to turn the crank is a lot easier than using hands, and we passed it around as we chatted some more, building up the charge on the battery. I played some of the tunes, and the two ponies found themselves tapping their hooves to the rhythms. Heck, so did I. I did some singing as well, and they did not run away, which was a point in their favor.
Twilight and Starlight brought me to the party site, which was out in the center of town. When we got there, the place was deserted, no ponies visible in the afternoon light. I looked around in confusion. “Where is everyone? Did we miss the party?” I asked.
In reply, Twilight and Starlight covered their ears with their hooves. I should have taken the hint. With a loud blaring of horns and the sound of a cannon going off, Pinkie yelled ‘SURPRISE!’, as did about a hundred townsponies, coming out of buildings.
I must have gone four feet straight up before landing with a thud. “Pinkie!” I shouted.
“Tristan!” she shouted back. “Come on, let’s meet everypony!”
What started then was a whirlwind tour of the party, meeting all the notable ponies of the town, like the Mayor, the teacher, the postal pony, the timekeeper (who seemed very familiar to me, but I could not quite place where), the foals in school, you name them, I met them, all the while munching on vanilla cupcakes and other assorted party nibbles. What with all the meeting and greeting, it wasn’t until almost seven before I could break out my phone and trigger a playlist.
Let me tell you, my playlist had heads nodding and hooves tapping for a good hour. Lots of ponies came up to me, saying how much they liked the music, and if it would become available for sale? I told all that it will be, but that this is my first full day awake, and I have not thought that far ahead yet.
As the party was winding down, Time Turner came up to me and asked if he could examine the charger for my phone. “There is electricity here, and in order to build you a proper charger, I need to know the power requirements for the output,” he explained to me in a voice I’m sure I knew from somewhere.
“How about I do that tomorrow? After the party, I’ll crank it for a time, to put some charge in. But, I have not seen any power lines or outlets around. Just how will I use the charger?” I asked, more than a little confused.
Time Turner just smiled at me. “The lines are buried, to keep the air clear of obstructions for pegasi. As for outlets, well, ask your hostess for details. She will show you. Until tomorrow, then. Allons-y!” he said as he departed at a trot, heading for his home, his long multicolored scarf trailing over his flanks.
I stared after him as he left. Damn, I was SURE I knew him from somewhere, but where?
That night, as I cranked the charger, I asked Twilight about what Time Turner had told me about electricity here. “Oh, yes, we have it, but more for industrial and research purposes rather than residential uses, out here in Ponyville, at least. In the big cities, like Canterlot, Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Baltimare and such, electricity is far more common. The few outlets I have here in my castle are down in my laboratories in the basement. I do a lot of research, mainly because of my curiosity,” she explained.
“So, I can leave out the electricity part of my lectures, and just go to the electronics portion. Like I said, I’ll do the best I can.”
“I’m sure your best will be more than sufficient. How did you like the party?”
“It was fun, exciting, and different, for me at least. I got to meet every pony in town, it seems like, and just about all of them made me feel welcome. I’m counting my blessings to wind up here instead of any place else,” I explained as I cranked.
Twilight smiled at my words. “I’m glad you’re happy. Next thing we should look into is how to get the music from your phone onto records. For that, we’re going to have to go to a record making factory. The closest one is in Canterlot. Not next week, but the week after, we’ll go there. While in Canterlot, we can visit the Princesses,” she said.
“The Princesses? There’s more than just you?” I asked.
Twilight then spent the next half-hour explaining about the Princesses, Celestia, who was the top boss, Luna, the second boss, and Cadance, who ruled a place called the Crystal Empire somewhere up north. “This next week, Starlight and I will be teaching you Equestrian history and mores, so you can mix in with the populace easier. We’re also going to have to see what your cutie mark will be.”
I knew about the cutie marks, just about every pony I saw having one except for the youngest of the children. “Seeing as I don’t have one right now, will that affect matters for me?” I asked, trying to stifle a yawn.
“Here in Ponyville, not really. In Canterlot and elsewhere, yes. Ponies will wonder why a mature stallion like you is missing a cutie mark, especially the nobility,” Twilight explained.
This next yawn I could not stifle. “I would love to learn more, but I’m feeling extreme bunkie suction right now. How about we discuss this in the morning after breakfast? It is a fascinating subject, but I’m too tired to understand now,” I managed to say.
“Of course, Tristan. You get a good sleep in, and tomorrow, we’ll start your education. Have a good night,” she said to me as I got up, carrying my phone and charger in my glow.
“Only if you promise to have a good night as well, Princess. Good wishes are best sent both ways, not just one way. Now, my bed is calling me. Until morning!” I managed to say in a jaunty voice before heading to my room. Problem was, I forgot to do something, what with holding my phone and charger, I forgot to open the damned door. Last thing I remember was a pain in my nose.
Next I knew, my face was feeling warm. I opened my eyes to find myself in my bed, with full sunlight on my face. This time, I’m SURE my scream of pain was heard in Canterlot, if not Manehattan, because Twilight, Starlight AND Spike came running in my room as I struggled to get rid of what I thought were retina burns. “Tristan! Are you all right?” Twilight asked.
“I have GOT to fix that CURTAIN before I go GLARE BLIND!” I growled through my pain, looking away from the window, blinking to get the afterimages in my eyes to go away.
“I’ll fix it today, Tristan.” Spike said, sounding concerned.
“Thank you very much, Spike. Now, can someone help me see again? Damn afterimages!” I said, trying to calm down.
“Just hold still, Tristan,” Twilight said as I could feel her glow touching my face and moving it slightly. “Just keep your eyes shut. Starlight, pay attention to how I handle this healing. It’s simple, but I don’t think you have seen this before.”
That was followed by some words I did not understand before I felt a tingle on my face and in my eyes. “Keep your eyes shut for another minute, Tristan,” she told me before she and Starlight started discussing the spell structure, something which was completely over my head at the time. “Okay, open your eyes.”
I did, and the glare and pain were gone. However, the bright sunlight streaming past my head onto the pillows was discomfiting. “Thank you, Twilight. It’s never hurt that much before. Then again, I always covered my bedroom windows,” I said in as polite a voice as I could muster.
“I’ll correct that today, Tristan. No more waking up to full sun on your face!” Spike told me. “Same breakfast as yesterday?”
“Please and thank you for asking. Now, may I ask for some space to get up?” I asked. “I would like to use the shower before going to breakfast.”
“Sorry about that,” Twilight said as she and Starlight backed away from the bed. “We’ll see you at breakfast, then!”
“Plans like a sound to me!” I said as I got out of bed, my good humor returning. The shower was oh, so welcoming- warm, soothing, yet stimulating as well. What’s interesting was that I got the water temperature right the first time, not too hot, not too cold. The soap was also good, too, with a fragrance that chased the fog out of my head. I headed for breakfast a very happy pony.
That day became a pattern for the next week, classes in the morning with a halfway break, then lunch, then about two hours more class before breaking for the day. After class, I was encouraged to move around town, going out and meeting ponies, getting familiar with the town. That was extremely pleasant, learning about the town. I brought Time Turner my charger the first day after class, and on the third day he returned it along with a small box and cable during the lunch break.
“All you have to do is plug the cable into your charging port, and let it run. No plugging into the wall, there is a charged crystal in the box with a spell on it to deliver electricity in just the right amount for your phone to accept. You’ll have to recharge the spell about once every two weeks or so. Princess Twilight will teach it to you. It’s really not all that difficult to cast. You should not have any problems.
“Oh, yes- I also had a couple of spells cast on your phone, so that the components won’t wear out, and your screen won’t crack. I also took a copy of your music files. You have good taste in music!” he told me.
“Wait a minute- how could you take a copy of my music?” I asked, surprised.
“Oh, I have ways. Call it payment for services rendered, hmm? Sorry, must dash, work piling up at the clock shop. So much to do, so little time. Good day, all.” Time Turner said before leaving the castle, singing quietly “…I would walk five hundred miles…” as he marched his way out. Damn, I’m SURE he was familiar, but I could not place WHERE or HOW.
The afternoon session that day was spellcrafting, specifically how to cast the spell that powered the crystal in the phone charger. Twilight brought up some blank crystals and started teaching. By break time, both Twilight and I were frustrated and a bit short-tempered, because, try as I did, I could NOT comprehend spellcrafting. Light, yes. Telekinesis, oh, yes. Spellcrafting, nope. We broke for the day, agreeing to meet at a small restaurant Twilight favored in three hours. We both needed some calming down time.
I wandered out into the town, heading in a random direction, which led to the schoolhouse. I got there just before class let out and got to watch the explosion of kids out the door. Many rushed out at first, then a few stragglers. One young unicorn filly sat herself down by the playground and started to read, her horn letting out a glow after a moment’s focus. As I watched, a spark leaped from her horn to the table, making her jump a little. Curious, I walked over to her.
“Hello, little lady, what are you studying?” I asked. I know I saw her at the party, but her name was lost to me in the avalanche of introductions.
The filly looked up. “Hi, Mister Tristan! I’m studying elementary spellcasting, and I think I’m getting it! Did you see me do a spark?” she asked me eagerly.
“Yes, I did. How did you do it?” I asked. She then proceeded to take me through the spell, referring to her book often as she did her explaining.
I did some reading over her shoulder as she explained when comprehension hit me between the eyes with the intensity of a Randy Johnson fastball. Suddenly, I could see just HOW to put a spell together, from idea to execution. I fell to my knees, then to the ground, amazed by what I was comprehending for the first time. “Mister Tristan? Are you all right?” the filly asked.
“Yes, I am,” I said after a moment. “I understand how to cast a spell now. Princess Twilight has been trying to teach me to do it since lunch, and we both got mad. What was your name again?”
The filly giggled. “I’m Merry Smile, remember?”
“Merry Smile. You sure brought a smile to my face. Thank you for helping me understand magic,” I said to the red and yellow filly before giving her a warm hug.
“Can you do that one song that had all of us dancing at the party? The fun one?” she asked.
“You mean, The Macahula?” She nodded eagerly. “Are you ready?”
I brought up the song in my mind, thinking about the music, waiting for the words. At the right time, I started to sing, and the two of us did the song and dance together, Merry Smile singing with me on the choruses. When we finished, we both fell to the ground laughing as hard as we could.
“Thank you, Mister Tristan! That was fun!” Merry Smile said when she could draw breath without giggling.
“It sure was! Tell you what, once I get the songs put on records, I’ll ask Miss Cheerilee if I can bring some over to the school for a music lesson. Would you like that?” I asked when I could draw breath again myself.
“That would be so nice! I would like that!” Merry Smile squealed.
“You won’t have to ask,” came a voice from the schoolhouse door. We looked up to see Miss Cheerilee there, smiling. “I heard it all from inside, and the laughter. Of course, I would like to have you teach a little music to the foals. Let me know before you come by, okay?”
“Tell you what, Miss Cheerilee,” I said. “How about I arrange with Princess Twilight for me to take Friday afternoon off from my studies, and I come here with my music box for an hour or so of fun music? Then, after I get records printed up, I will deliver a set of them here to the school?”
“That will be an excellent idea!” Cheerilee said. “Let’s make it the last hour of the school day, okay?”
As Merry Smile clopped her hooves in glee, I said, “That is a good plan, Miss Cheerilee. Let’s plan that way, and if I have any issues, I’ll let you know right away.” As I went to stand next to Merry Smile, I put a leg around her in a hug. “After all, I can’t disappoint my fans, can I?”
Cheerilee went back inside, and I agreed to sit with Merry Smile until her mother showed up to take her home. She worked in the marketplace most days and used her afternoon break to pick up her daughter from school. Merry Smile did not mind the wait, she used it to do homework.
Once Merry Smile went off with her mother, I did some more wandering around town, having about an hour and a half before meeting up with Twilight. I decided to go to the Carousel Boutique, to see how Rarity was doing on my ‘fancy clothes’, as I thought of them. The bell on the door tinkled as I went in. Rarity was in the front room, working on something stretched over a tailor’s dummy. “Tristan! Do come on in! I have something ready for you!” she called out with a smile in her voice.
As the door shut behind me, I tipped my hat using my glow and bowed pony style, meaning I bent one knee and dipped the front part of my body. “Miss Rarity, I’m sure whatever you made for me will be spectacular. I will be honored to see it, and more honored to wear it,” I said in my best approximation of a southern accent. Back in Groton, many people had a hard time telling where I was from, because one of my hobbies is collecting accents and dialects. I was terrible at languages, French and Gaelic being the only two I could speak with anywhere near grammatical correctness, Spanish being even worse, having picked that up from Sesame Street and other sources.
I’m almost positive Rarity blushed a little. “Do come in back, and I’ll show you,” she said, putting down her sewing tools on a nearby table top. I followed her to the back room, where there were several dummies wearing various gowns, suits, and hats, all of which were spectacular, and I said so.
She went to one particular dummy, which was shrouded in a cloth. “This ensemble I made for you, Tristan,” she said as she whipped off the covering cloth with a flourish.
I let out a gasp of pure surprise. On the dummy was a shirt made of what looked to me like it was a metallic silver, like the stripe in my mane. It glittered in the lights of the room, along with the matching dusky metallic red bow tie and gold buttons. Atop the dummy’s head is a hat, a small one, but enough to shade my eyes, also in silver, accompanied by a pair of sunglasses with glittering gold rims, which matched the buttons on the shirt. I went up to feel the fabric hesitantly. It was light and breathable, so I should not sweat heavily wearing it. “My dear Rarity, words fail me on how I feel looking at this ensemble you have made. It will be such an honor to wear this when I go to Canterlot next week.” I said with honest respect and admiration.
“Come, let’s get it on you and see how it wears,” she said, using her glow to remove the outfit. Carefully, I took it in my glow and slipped it on, the shirt, hat and shades. It fit me like it was made for me, which of course it was. I looked in a mirror and let out a gasp of surprise. Whoever was in the mirror was not someone I knew. The pony pictured had poise, style and grace I normally did not possess.
“The clothes do make the pony, yes?” Rarity said, standing beside me. The shirt was long enough along my body so that it partially concealed my flanks, and the fact I, for now, did not have a cutie mark without drawing attention to that fact.
“Miss Rarity, in that, you are most certainly correct. It is an honor to wear such a creation. Know that I will treasure it for its beauty, and the knowledge that you crafted it. For that, you do have my thanks, my gratitude, and my respect,” I said to her as I looked at myself. The glasses had enough tinting to cut glare but not so dark it impaired my vision. “Too bad I don’t have a camera with me.”
“There will be plenty of cameras when you go to Canterlot, Tristan. Rest assured, you will make the front page of the Equestrian Times, above the fold, with pictures, as well as about half a dozen important magazines,” Rarity assured me.
I removed the outfit carefully, first the hat, the glasses, then the shirt, placing them on a convenient tabletop. Once removed, Rarity carefully folded the attire and placed them in a box, which she then presented to me. I took the box in my glow. “Miss Rarity, in exchange, may I take you out to dinner Saturday night?” I asked. “You name the place.”
“Saturday night at six? Of course!” she said, before naming the classiest restaurant in Ponyville. I was sure I could spring the bits for it off Twilight.
“My dear Rarity, it will indeed be an honor to dine with you. Will it be too bold to ask for some attire that is a bit less spectacular, but suitable for such a dinner?” I asked.
“I already did,” she said with a smile as she uncovered another dummy, revealing a cream-colored shirt with blue buttons and a blue bow tie, cream-colored hat and silver rimmed shades, definitely attractive but not as spectacular as the first set.
“My dear Rarity, this now entitles you to drinks with dinner,” I said, looking at her, catching her blush.
Rarity then removed the second shirt from the dummy and boxed it. That was when I noticed that what I thought of as just a shirt was a shirt and jacket combination in matching colors. “Does the formal wear also come with a matching coat?” I asked. “I’m positive I did not notice it before.”
“It does. You could not tell?” Rarity said playfully.
“The ensembles are so spectacular, my eyes were unable to notice,” I replied. “May I give you a hug?”
“Of course, Tristan!” she replied, moving close. I gave her a warm hug, which she returned. Feeling daring, I lightly kissed her cheek.
She giggled some as we broke the hug. “Tristan, I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Just showing the depths of my respect and gratitude, Miss Rarity. I did not mean to seem forward, but I felt it was your just due for the work you have put in,” I said with all sincerity. “Now, I have a question for you.”
“Oh? What be that?”
“Where can I find suitable attire to work in, both with Applejack and Fluttershy? Something suitable for hard work in the mud and dirt.”
“Oh, yes,” she said before naming two shops she knew here in Ponyville. “Either one can make suitable working wear.”
“For that, you have my thanks. I wish to make friends with all of those who helped me when I arrived, and sharing their work is one way of showing my gratitude. I’m trying to figure out a way to help Rainbow Dash. Unlike her, I cannot fly.”
“I’m sure you will think of something, Tristan. I know she will appreciate any effort you make.”
“I will also like to come and help you as well, but I shall wait on that until I am more practiced with my glow. A shop like this is no place for an untrained and clumsy hoof. I will allow you to decide when I am practiced enough.”
“Why, thank you, Tristan. You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to, Rarity. I want to. Return kindness with kindness, in your own way. My way here is being willing to help, so I can learn about Equestria and Ponyville. I may have had a sit-down desk job before I came here, but I’m not the same person as I was then. I feel the need to share myself with the community. Study is not everything in life, fascinating as it may be,” I told Rarity.
“A lesson that took Twilight a long time to learn,” Rarity told me with a smile.
Just then, we heard the clock tower strike the half-hour. “Oh, my, look at the time!” I exclaimed. “I had best bring these back to the castle now. I’m supposed to meet Twilight at the café at five for dinner.”
“You do that, Tristan! Dinner Saturday!” she said, giving me a gentle hug, which was returned.
“I will be there!” I said in reply as I picked up the two boxes in my glow and headed out, remembering this time to OPEN THE DOOR before going through it.
A slow, measured trot got me to the castle and my room in time to put the boxes on my bed before setting out to Twilight’s restaurant. I arrived there five minutes before five, looking about. The restaurant was more of a hamburger stand, but it was where she wanted to meet me.
It wasn’t long before I heard Twilight calling my name from behind me. I smiled as I looked in her direction. “Over your frustration from before?” I asked in a pleasant tone.
“For the most part, yes. I went and sorted books for a while. It helps me calm down. How was your afternoon? You seem happier,” she said to me.
“I am,” I said before explaining what happened at the school, then at Rarity’s. While I explained, we went inside, where Twilight ordered up a big hayburger and fries. Curious about these ‘hayburgers’, I ordered the same.
“You figured out the spell? Explain it to me!” she demanded like a teacher skeptical about a student’s report. I shut my eyes and talked her through the spell, from foundation to execution, obviously without casting it because I lacked the crystal to cast the spell on. “You learned that by watching a filly and reading her textbook?”
“Why, yes. The textbook had elementary lessons on beginning spellcrafting, and by reading it, I managed to put together the pieces that I could not figure out with your collegiate-level teachings earlier today. The elementary explanation filled in the gaps in my understanding. Remember, where I’m from, there is no magic as you know it,” I told her in a cool, calm voice, which settled any lingering ire.
“Well, then, tomorrow morning, we will start on some basic spells. I made a mistake by assuming that since you are a unicorn, you would have understood basic spellcrafting. Now that I know what the problem is, I’ll find some basic texts for you to study,” she said as the hayburgers, fries and drinks arrived. They smelled good, so I took a bite out of my hayburger. Let me tell you, one bite and I promised right then and there that I would never go to another hamburger joint on Route Twelve in Groton again. These hayburgers are THAT good.
Twilight giggled a little bit looking at my expression. “Good, aren’t they?” she asked.
“Twilight, this is beyond good. I have just promised myself to never eat a hamburger again!”
“Even if you go back home again, Tristan?”
“Even if I go back home. I now understand why you like this place,” I told her before taking another bite out of the delicious hayburger. “This is one treat I do not want to learn to cook.”
“Why do you say that, Tristan?”
“Because, if I learn how to make it, some of the quote magic unquote would be lost, and I would not enjoy it as much as I do now. Sometimes, NOT knowing how something is done or made makes having it all the more special,” I told her after a hoofload of fries.
Twilight thought for a moment as she had some of her hayburger. “That’s a way of looking at life I have never thought of. Much different than my outlook.”
I slurped some of my soft drink before replying. “Twilight, it takes all sorts to make up the world we live in. What makes you special may not be what makes me special, or Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash. In our differences, we learn.”
“It took me a while to find out that truth, to be honest. I’m much the better for it.”
“I am very glad to hear that, Twilight. You are a good pony to know. So far, I have not met a truly bad pony yet,” I said, using a napkin to clean my lips of ketchup.
“Not many in Ponyville but wait until we get to Canterlot. There are some there that will make you wonder.” she said drily as she finished her hayburger.
“I can imagine,” I said as I finished mine. “I don’t want to, but I can. Now, for something completely different…” I went on to describe what I had planned for the school, to visit on Friday afternoon, with the music box, then after we get the music on records, to gift the school with a selection. Twilight readily gave me Friday afternoon off to prepare my ‘lesson plan’ but did promise that Friday morning was going to be rough!
I then told Twilight of my planned gift for Rarity before asking for the bits needed to pull it off. She said there would be no problem getting the bits, and she hoped we would have a good evening together. “Twilight, I would like nothing better to meet each of your friends socially at least once like I plan to do with Rarity on Saturday. The one thing I would need is a reliable stipend from whatever source until I can start earning my own way. If I intend on being friends with them, and the village in general, I cannot be dependent on another’s generosity,” I told her in all sincerity.
“I understand, Tristan. When we go to Canterlot next week, I will ask Princess Celestia about that matter. I know something will be worked out. You WANT to be productive and friendly, I can tell,” Twilight said to me, using a fry to wipe up some ketchup on her plate before eating it.
“The ponies here have shown me nothing but kindness. I really must return that kindness,” I said before sighing. “I just wonder when I’ll get a cutie mark, and what it will be.”
“That’s not important right now, Tristan. What is important is getting you settled. I have found that if you try too hard, you may not succeed. Just be yourself. You’re doing a good job that way,” Twilight said, smiling brightly at me as the sun headed down. Fast. I watched it set, a confused look on my face. “Something wrong, Tristan?”
“The sun- it went down abnormally fast,” I said as the skies rapidly darkened. Lights started coming on in windows and on buildings. An odd reflection told me the moon was rising just as fast as the sun had set. “That can’t be right.”
“Princess Celestia raises and lowers the sun, Princess Luna raises and lowers the moon. It’s the way matters are here,” Twilight said, in matter-of-fact tones.
My old friend Weirdness Overload decided to pay me a return visit, this time, deciding to settle in for a long, extended chat. I was aware of Twilight leading me back to the castle, but my mind was too bollixed to really give a good goddamn, if you get my meaning.
I woke up in the morning feeling far less confused, because Princess Luna visited me in my dreams again and gave me a thorough explanation of what an alicorn can do, especially her sister and herself. This morning, the sunlight did not shine in my face, instead it reflected off a white painted wall near my bed. The light was sufficient to wake me up, but not so strong it glare-blinded me. Spike does do good work.
At breakfast, I tried to explain about Princess Luna’s visit, but it turned out that she already knew, having received a letter from Luna before I woke up. When I commented about fast mail delivery, Twilight explained that Spike was able to send and receive mail from Princess Celestia. “That’s convenient,” I said around a mouthful of oatmeal.
“It’s very helpful, to be sure. Now, when were done eating, I want you to show me you do know the charging spell,” she said to me, going instantly from friend mode to teacher mode.
“Is that an assignment or a challenge, Teach?” I asked with a bit of a smirk.
“Yes, it is,” she replied in teacher mode, using her glow to bring out the materials from a side cabinet.
Quickly, I finished breakfast, except for my coffee, and focused on thinking of the charging spell. As I assembled the spell in my head, a red glow came from my horn and enveloped the crystal. Ten seconds later, I felt drained. Not exhausted, but the feeling I had just hit a triple and barely beat the ball to third base running hard. “Hooo…”
Twilight examined the crystal, not letting it fall from my telekinetic grip when I stopped the spell. After a moment, she snorted. “Not bad, Tristan. You put a good, solid charge in this crystal.”
I looked at the crystal and noticed it was now glowing slightly from the inside. “Is it normal to feel tired after doing a spell?” I asked.
“For you, it will. You need to build up your magic reserves. I’ll teach you some spells that will help you recover. You are at the state where you are essentially in primary school, and the spell you just cast is more of a secondary school spell. This morning, you study this book and practice what you read. After break, more quizzing and the next book in the series. I believe you will be a quick student,” Twilight told me in teacher mode before her expression softened. “Go refill your coffee mug before starting.”
The text, to me, was essentially the magic version of ‘Dick and Jane’. I finished the book in under one coffee and began the practice. I knew Twilight was paying some attention to me, but my attention was riveted on the book. I went back and forth, turning pages and doing the drills outlined. I could feel my magic replenishing itself. I must admit, it was the oddest feeling.
After break, Twilight quizzed me on the drills, which I passed without referring to the book. She then gave me another book, which, after reading, was more like a third-grade level. It took me more than one full coffee to finish this one before I started drilling. It wasn’t until I did the drill that made sparks fly that I realized this was the same book Merry Smile was reading the day before. Again, I passed Twilight’s quiz, and after lunch, began another book, which took me two mugs of coffee to complete, and the drills I had only partially completed before break. Twilight decided to give me a small break, waiting until I had completed the drills in the morning before a test.
My afternoon walk this day brought me to a tailor that Rarity had recommended, because I did want to get the sturdy wear for farm work. I also asked for a set of baker’s whites, so I could pitch in with Pinkie. The tailor, Swift Stitch, said they would be ready tomorrow afternoon and set a price which I agreed to pay upon pickup. I then went to Sugarcube Corner, looking for Pinkie.
I had not gone two doors down from Swift Stitch’s shop before I saw a blur of pink in front of me and a loud “TRISTAN!” in my ears. Pinkie had found me! Like the first time, I must have gone four feet straight up in surprise. I countered her shout with a cry of pure surprise.
“Pinkie, how do you do that?” I asked when I landed and found my breath.
“I do it,” was her reply. “You looking for me?”
“How did you know?”
“Tail jiggle, ear twitch, and a nose itch. That’s how I know someone is looking for me!” she said in her normal voice, which was so sweet, it made me consider checking myself for diabetes, if I could. “I thought of you, and here I am! Why you looking for me?”
“I was going to ask you if I could spend a day sometime soon helping you in Sugarcube Corner. My way of thanking you for the party you threw and, well, for being my friend,” I told her in all honesty. “I have to complete my schooling, and I have a Canterlot trip next week, so sometime after that.”
“Yes! We’re going to Canterlot on Monday! We’re going to see Princess Celestia, then go to a party after! It won’t be as fun as my parties, but they run their parties different. DULL!” she said.
“So, would you accept my helping you at Sugarcube Corner?”
“Oh, yes! You can come by any time, and I’ll see how much you know about baking cakes and cookies and pies and such!” she squealed, then her right leg shook. “Uh, oh! I gotta go! See you later, Tristan!” She then disappeared in a blur of something. I had to stand there catching my breath before I could move on. Being with Pinkie when she’s wound up is draining, let me tell you!
Having done what I wanted, I went back to the castle, to set up a play list for the school tomorrow afternoon. I was careful to choose age-appropriate tunes, something the foals would enjoy, I hoped. Good thing I had plenty of old bubblegum rock selections. Took me until dinnertime before I was happy with all my selections. Glad I had taken the time to set up the music player properly. I made sure it was plugged in to the charger before going to dinner. After dinner, I managed to get Starlight’s help in writing out the words to the songs I intended to teach the next day and make enough copies for each foal to have.
Friday morning, I finished up the last book Twilight had given me, and did the drills outlined in it. These were a bit harder than the earlier ones, but I did them to teacher’s exacting standards, as well as the recovery exercises after spell casting. She told me that a unicorn trains in those drills from the beginning, so by the time he or she reaches the higher levels, such drills become second nature, doing them without really thinking about it. Once done with that book, I was given another one, this being noticeably more difficult than the previous one. “Now, I’m not going to let you out of class until you finish this book and pass my pop quiz at the end. So, if you want to keep your promise to the school, get cracking!” she snapped. Knowing her inclination of ‘if you’re not doing it exactly right, you’re doing it totally wrong’, I got cracking. Fortunately for me, she did not stray far, because I had questions this time. When Twilight had trouble explaining, Starlight was able to fill in the gaps so I could continue.
Fortunately for the students, I passed my quiz before lunch, so after I had mine, I headed to the school, bringing my phone and power pack. I just wished I had brought either my extension speaker or the Bluetooth, but I had left them in the car. Good thing the phone has a powerful inboard speaker.
Arriving early, I greeted the class and asked if I could take a seat in the back, to watch the class and the lessons being given until it was my turn to lecture. Cheerilee was teaching history, and I paid attention, because what is history to the ponies is something completely new to me. I just treated it, in my mind, not as history, but like Star Trek or gaming lore. Yes, I was a passionate gamer back home. Been so since I was in my early teens, and had a long-running campaign going, meeting once a month now for almost two decades, fleshing out my Isle Scutae game world. Ponyville and Equestria were no Isle Scutae, but it did give me some ideas.
Cheerilee granted me some extra time before music hour to allow the class to ask some questions. Taking my place at the front of the class, I looked out at the colts and fillies and said, “Okay, now. I’ve heard some of you have some questions. Please state your name when I call on you, so I can attempt to learn it. I know I met you all at Pinkie Pie’s party, but I was sort of swept up IN the party and missed a lot of names.”
A lot of hooves shot up towards the ceiling. I picked one at random. “You first.”
“My name is Diamond Tiara. Why are you a blank flank?” she asked.
“Best as we can figure, we being Princess Twilight and I, it’s because I’m in a whole new body, in a new place, completely different than what I was. From what I have learned from Princess Luna, it’s up to me to make good use of my restart, because if I had remained where I was, I would be dead within a year,” I explained in as neutral a voice as I could manage.
It was like a dark blanket fell over the class for a moment, before one hoof raised up, a hoof belonging to a red and yellow unicorn filly I was acquainted with. “I’m Merry Smile. Just what do you plan to do, Mister Tristan?”
That question brought a smile to my face. “Why, to be as good a friend as I can possibly manage and leave smiles and good memories in my wake after I leave. My music will help, as well as my will to simply be a friend to every pony.”
I pointed to another pony, a yellow filly with a bow in her mane. “Ah’m Apple Bloom. Would you like some help in finding your cutie mark? Ah’m the leader of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we can help you find out what your cutie mark would be!” she said with obvious pride, indicating the two fillies next to her, a white unicorn who reminded me of Rarity, and an orange pegasus.
“Well, if you really want to help, I’m willing to accept it. See me after class, and we’ll discuss when we can get together. One more before the fun. How about you?” I asked, pointing to a small pinto colt.
“I’m Pip Squeak, and I want to know just how does your music box work? I remember hearing it at the party, and I can’t understand how you got all the instruments and people inside!” said the little fellow in what I would call a Cockney accent.
I considered for a few seconds before replying in a similar voice. “Consider it a form of magic that I can comprehend and explain, but it will take a long time to do so. You know how a record player works, right?” I asked the colt. Getting a slow nod, I kept on going. “What my music box does is essentially like a record player, just vastly smaller and more versatile. If you want to try to learn more, catch up with me after class, and I’ll see if we can make time to talk about it. Deal?”
“It’s a deal, Mister Tristan!” Pip Squeak said enthusiastically, as did some of the other ponies.
“Okay, everypony! If you want to learn what I can possibly teach, see me after class! Now, shall we get to the music?” I asked. The YEAH! I got in response almost knocked me over. I passed out the song lyrics I had made, then held my phone up in my glow.
“We will now listen to the first song on your sheets, the one entitled ‘Simon Says’. We shall listen to it once, then again twice more. The first time, just listen. Afterwards, you may sing along with the music. I know I will. Are you ready?” I asked in my most exaggerated prim and proper professor voice, getting giggles from the class.
I started the phone, and the intro notes boomed out, followed by the lyrics. The whole class paid rapt attention, some hooves tapping gently as I played the song through.
When the song ended, I reset the player. “Did everypony pay attention? Now, this time, you can join in where you feel comfortable. If you don’t want to, just listen and enjoy.” I started the player, and the song restarted. This time, I sang along with the music. Watching, I saw most of the class join in at some of the places, everypony looking like they were enjoying themselves. On the third play, I did not sing, I lip-synched while I performed the move described in the song. I saw six brave colts and fillies get up in the second half to try to dance along with me.
When the song ended, I sank back onto all four hooves. Being upright for that long, moving about and keeping my balance was a bit of an effort. “Okay, kids, have fun?” I asked. The cheering went on for about fifteen seconds, before I went back to my lecturing professor voice. “Same rules apply with the rest of the songs. Please turn your pages to song number two, ‘Five Hundred Miles’.”
By the end of the hour, I was tired, sweat dripping off me. “Okay, kids! Hope you all had a good time! If Miss Cheerilee approves, we’ll do this again sometime, okay?” The cheering reminded me of old tapes of Beatles shows from the sixties. Before my time, actually, but you get my meaning.
Outside, I spoke with a lot of the kids, who wanted to learn more about how things worked. We arranged a time the next day, right here at the school yard, for a lecture. Afterwards, I sat with Miss Cheerilee. “Tristan, you do have a way with the students. What else can you try to teach?” she asked.
“To be honest, Miss Cheerilee, I can lecture about a lot of things, the problem being I’m not so sure about what is applicable here. I could just tell stories, but the music is something I can demonstrate. The culture I came from and the culture I find here are two different things. Some of the songs, I’m pushing the envelope, but I can gloss over them. Others just do not apply here.
“All I can do is the very best I can, and hope it is enough to do the job, whatever the job may be.” I concluded.
“I have an idea. How about, once you return from Canterlot and Princess Twilight gives her approval, you can help me out once in a while. I hope that maths and science are close to what you know to be compatible. How about that idea?” Cheerilee asked me.
“I cannot promise anything right now, Miss Cheerilee, but I will think about it, and get Princess Twilight’s advice. The kids here appear to like me and seem to listen to me. I must admit, I would like to try. Being with the foals is both invigorating as well as enervating,” I said with a smile.
“It sure is. I’ll see you again sometime. I know you’re going to Canterlot next week, so I can’t say WHEN I will see you again, but I know I will! Have a good night, Mister Tristan,” Cheerilee said to me.
“And also to you, Miss Cheerilee. Do have a pleasant weekend,” I said with a slight bow before heading out of the schoolhouse. I just wanted to get back to the castle, take a shower and a nap before having dinner. Those kids wore me out! Made me glad to have been a confirmed bachelor when I was human.
The weekend passed smoothly, meeting with the kids Saturday afternoon to teach how records were made (and hoping I wasn’t making a hash of it), my dinner date with Rarity that evening, which went spectacularly, especially when I found out that Prench and French were functionally identical. Fortunately, I can get along in the language, as evidenced by a trip to Paris shortly after my discharge, and while I was noticed as a tourist, at least the residents didn’t turn up their noses at my language skills. We spent a good two hours out, dining, drinking and dancing. Okay, I tried to dance, but my four left hooves reared themselves up. I’m just glad Rarity laughed WITH me, not AT me. She did say when I dropped her off at the Carousel, that she had a wonderful time. I did, to be totally honest.
Sunday was a day of rest, quiet and relaxation, to me at least. While Twilight was down in her lab doing something I was not ready for, Starlight being out with her friend Trixie all day (at a spa, someplace I would have to be dragged into), and Spike doing duties around the castle, I spent the time reading books and magazines about the state of affairs in Equestria. Everypony will know I’m an outsider, but hopefully my attempts to learn will be good for something, at least.
Monday morning, we were up at rooster crow to get ready for our train trip to Canterlot. After breakfast, I packed my good clothes into a small trunk, my immediate necessities (phone, charger, and toiletries) packed into a set of saddlebags Twilight gave me and was ready to head to the train station.
The trains came as a bit of a surprise to me. Steam driven wood or coal burners, with about six to eight cars at most behind the locomotive. I marveled at how they could even BUILD such things, let alone operate them. I could remember one time going to Washington from New York Penn Station when I was seven, taking the Metroliner. A conductor asked me if I wanted to see the control cab. What little boy wouldn’t, right? I have never forgotten the sight of the tracks running ahead of us, tapering down to a point on the horizon, while a readout on the control panel said we were doing seventy-nine miles an hour. Thrilling, isn’t it?
It turns out all of my friends were going, the six plus Starlight and Spike. It seems they are all thought of highly in the upper echelons, and on occasion go to Canterlot to either meet the Princesses or the nobles. The trip was spent listening to their adventures. I, for one, found them fascinating to hear. I asked about the Elements of Harmony, and got a full explanation from Twilight, followed by better explanations from the rest of what each of the Elements did. “Well, I hope to show traits of all the Elements, because I find them all sensible,” I said to the group.
“I know you’re very generous with yourself, offering to help all of us at our jobs, and teaching at the school,” Rarity said.
“Ah lahk your honesty in how you work with others, explaining or not explaining about your world as need be,” Applejack declared.
“Hey, I can’t fault your loyalty to us!” Rainbow Dash said from where she hovered.
“You’re fun enough to laugh at yourself, whenever you do something we find silly, and not feel bad!” Pinkie Pie added.
“I saw how kind you were to the animals. They all liked you, except Angel. He’s a hard case,” Fluttershy said in her soft voice.
“I know you’re making great progress in magic!” Twilight said with a smile.
“Thank you, ladies, for saying so,” I said, blushing enough so that I felt I could light a match by putting it to my ear. “I just hope I can impress the movers, shakers, and powers that be.”
“You’ve impressed Princess Luna, which caught Princess Celestia’s interest, and she does want to meet you, both with us and by yourself,” Twilight reported.
“Now, let me hope I don’t catch hoof-in-mouth disease,” I managed to say in reply. “which is making enough faux to get a pas out of town.”
The ladies laughed at that, especially Pinkie. “That’s what I meant!” she managed to get out between giggles, pointing at me. “You’re laughing at yourself!”
It took me a moment before I could reach into my saddlebag and pull out my phone. Once I could, I called up the music player and selected one song in particular. “Ah, Pinkie, but can you do the same?” I asked as I started the song. “This applies to you, maybe…” as the opening notes to “She’s a Must to Avoid” played.
When the song ended, she sat there stonily, giving me a look that would have scared a stone statue. Fortunately, I’m not a stone statue. We held the glare for maybe half a minute, enough so that the others were getting nervous, before Pinkie and I fell into each other’s hooves, laughing hard enough to shake the windows of the train car. “Gotcha, Pinkie!” I manage to choke out before laughing again. The others laughed as Pinkie and I did, seeing we were not hating each other.
“Have y’all picked out music for any of us yet, Tristan?” Applejack asked once we calmed down.
“Not yet, Applejack. I have not got a good enough grasp of each and every one of you yet to make a good choice. I have options in mind, but I have not yet made a decision. Time will tell.” I told her.
Applejack nodded. “Fair enough,” she said almost under her breath, which I took as a sign of approval.
It was not too much later that we arrived at Canterlot. Like any tourist, I stared out the window at the magnificent stone buildings clinging to the mountain, topped by Celestia’s castle, as the train slowly made its way through the points to the station. “I like what I see here. Not like the cities I’m familiar with,” I said almost to myself. “No cars. Gonna have to get used to that.”
“Never really caught on here,” Twilight said. “I’ve seen cars on that trip I went on, but they were a bit nasty.”
“Burning gasoline does that. Diesel fuel is worse. We’re working on other methods, but they have not approached gasoline’s availability and range of travel yet. They will get there, in time,” I explained to her as the train came to a halt. “I miss my little car. Served my needs and fuel-efficient.”
“Well, here, we get out and walk to the castle. That’s where we will be staying for the next few days,” Twilight said.
I stopped and just stared at Twilight. “You didn’t mention that…” I squeaked.
“Oh, yes. I’ve had a suite there for a long time, ever since I was Princess Celestia’s personal student in magic. Now that I’m a princess too, I was able to ask for a suite of rooms for us. You’ll like it. Just ignore the guards unless you need one,” she said.
“Me, staying in a castle? I really hope I don’t stick my foot in my mouth…” I muttered as I made sure I had left nothing behind in the train car before departing the carriage. Old habits die hard, especially when I had left my phone on a plane fifteen years before.
“Hey, we got faith in you, Tristan!” Rainbow Dash said from her usual hover. “You won’t make a bigger fool of yourself than you normally do!”
I looked up at the pegasus from the door of the carriage. “But, Dash, I have such a good example to follow, you!” I called up to her.
Some of the ladies let out giggles, I could not say which ones. I did hear Applejack say quietly, “Ooh, burn…”
Dash smiled a little, a tight little smile that promised imminent mayhem at my expense. “You can’t claim victory yet, Tristan!”
“I won’t. That’s your job, to proclaim me the winner.” I said as I left the train carriage. Our luggage was being off-loaded from the boxcar by a team of porters wearing nice livery into a wagon being pulled by two earth ponies, who were looking at the loading with critical eyes.
“Let’s get a move on! Lunch will be at the castle, and our audience is at the end of Day Court. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m hungry!” Twilight said from the edge of the platform.
“So am I! I know they have some tasty rubies here!” Spike said from her side. Even though I knew the dragon consumed gemstones, hearing him say so always left me a little confused. With those two in the lead, we trooped off, destination Canterlot Castle.
My hooves clopping on the cobblestoned streets of the city sounded a lot different than when I walked around Ponyville, but then again, this IS the big city. Comparing what I have seen of New York City and Boston in my trips there for baseball games, Canterlot had them beat. No cars on the streets, just ponies going about their business, the occasional wagon or cart adding variety to the scene. Advertising was present, but it was not as ‘in your face’ as ads are back on Earth. We passed one shop that proclaimed itself as the True Brew Café, which caught my attention. I made a note to try to stop there while we were in the city. Something about the place just seemed attractive to me, and my curiosity was stoked.
Twilight saw my attention was diverted. “That’s a good little coffee shop. I’ve been in there more than once. Want to stop for coffee?”
“Coffee sounds like a good idea. Do we have time to?” I asked, still nervous about staying in a castle like it was a Motel Six.
“We’ll make time,” Twilight declared. She asked the luggage wagon pullers if they would like some coffee, and they both agreed it would not be a bad idea. None of the ladies objected, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie all saying the baker here is one of the best in Canterlot. Thus agreed, we all trooped in, the porters finding a place to park the wagon before getting out of harness.
Half an hour later, we all trooped out of the café, everypony feeling refreshed. I found Frothy’s double strength coffee, with cream and sugar, an excellent alertness aide, and the cherry pie defied my ability to describe properly. Pinkie Pie said it was ‘too fancy for parties’, but I could tell she found it up to her standards. She didn’t fool anyone, but nobody called her out on it, not even me. Thus fortified, we made our way to Canterlot Castle, and our meeting with the Princesses. To the others, it was routine. To me, it was anything BUT routine, my nervous jitters having been replaced by a caffeine near overload. At least I wasn’t nervous anymore. That came later.
At the castle, for a time I was overwhelmed by the grandeur of the place. The style of décor, the ponies scurrying about, the stained-glass windows, the loose rug on the marble floor that I found which sent me skidding into a wall, giving my head and horn a serious bonk…
I woke up in a well-appointed room, in a comfortable bed, the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the window spreading color onto my bed, the clear piece of glass that sent a sunbeam right into my face, and the scream of pain from my abused eyes that just HAD to have been heard in Ponyville!
I could hear a door banging open and some hoofbeats on the floor before I heard Twilight’s voice. “Tristan! Calm down! I’m right here. Let me help!” I heard, her voice cutting through my pain.
I finally ran out of breath from the pained scream and just breathed for about half a minute. “Okay, Twilight. Go do the hoo doo that you do so well!” I managed to say about the same way Harvey Korman did in ‘Blazing Saddles’. It was only a few seconds later that the pain in my eyes faded to a dull ache, but the pain in my head was still there, right at the base of my horn.
“Thank you, Twilight.” I said as sanity returned to me. “Just two questions, if I may. One, who left the curtains open and two, got any aspirin?” I asked plaintively. “I have such a headache…”
Another voice made its presence known. “I left the curtains open, so I could see enough to treat your injuries when you were brought in,” said a deep voice with more than a little superciliousness in it. “As for your headache, give me a moment.”
I felt the tingle of a spell go over my head, and the kettle drum banging at the base of my horn changed quickly into a tambourine with a slow beat. “Thank you, whoever you are. Is it safe to open my eyes now?”
I heard some hooves go and shut the curtains, the heat on my face fading. “It is now, Tristan,” I heard Rarity say. I opened my eyes to see Twilight by the side of the bed, next to her was another unicorn, a large white one with a red striped mane and a white and green horn. “I’m Doctor Makeswell, the lead physician of the castle staff. Feeling better, Mister Tristan?”
“Much better, Doctor, for which I give you my deepest thanks. Now, where are my dark glasses?” I said as I sat up.
Twilight levitated my backup pair from my saddlebags. “You broke the good pair when your head hit the wall,” she explained. “Ready to wake up? It’s almost time for our audience.”
“Almost time? How much time do we have?” I asked with a little alarm. Okay, near-panic would be a better descriptor.
“An hour. Time enough to get cleaned up and dressed before heading to the throne room,” Twilight told me, backing up so I could get out of bed.
“Good. I want a shower before getting dressed. Doctor Makeswell, may me meet again socially, not professionally. Thank you for your help,” I said as I got up.
“You are welcome, Mister Tristan. Do be careful in the castle, the floors are slippery,” he told me as I walked by him.
“I shall do so, Doctor. Once is twice too often,” I said before getting to the bathroom door. I opened it in a hurry and went in, only to find that it was not the bathroom, it was a closet. Carefully, I used my glow to open the door up and backed out with as much dignity as I could muster, Twilight, Rarity and Rainbow Dash trying not to laugh. Dash did manage to keep quiet, but the little loops she was doing told me she was laughing hard. I moved four feet to my left and opened that door. Fortunately, it WAS the bathroom that time.
I emerged twenty minutes later to find my number-two clothes laid out on the bed, which showed no trace of having been occupied by me earlier. I dressed and made my way through the third door in the room, which led to a living room like place where the ladies were waiting, along with Princess Luna. They were chatting amongst each other like they were old friends, which they were. I stopped short and let out a short gasp of surprise, which got everypony’s attention.
“Feeling better, Tristan?” Luna asked me, looking genuinely concerned. “Your scream would have woken me up, had I not already been awake.”
I carefully lowered myself to the carpeted floor in a full prostration. “I am, Your Highness, thanks to the efforts of Princess Twilight and Doctor Makeswell,” I said, nose uplifted from the carpet, but only about half an inch.
“Please rise, Tristan. Such actions are only necessary during formal appearances, not behind closed doors,” Luna said gently.
“I was not certain of that, Your Highness. Besides, I felt it right to get some practice in,” I said as I struggled to my hooves, the carpet having a deep pile and my legs had gone into uncomfortable positions.
“Also, in private, it is allowable to simply address me as ‘Luna’. After all, we have met twice already, even if just in your dreams,” she said with a small teasing smile.
“Okay, Luna. Just don’t moon me, and we can become good friends,” I said in a breezy tone, settling my hat back in place, which brought a wider smile to Luna’s face.
“But, it’s my position to moon everypony in Equestria,” she riposted quickly.
“Just for that, I won’t call you ‘Crater-Butt’, then!” I fired back with. Fluttershy looked shocked, Applejack looked startled, Rarity was looking away, Rainbow Dash was doing tight loops in the air, Twilight was smiling, Luna looked pleased, and Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen. Starlight had left us when we got to the castle, saying she had something that needed doing.
“I’m glad you are not intimidated by me, Tristan. Many ponies are,” Luna said, approaching me with a wing out for a hug.
I hugged back with warmth. She felt just like her dream self did. “You, I’m not intimidated about, thanks to our night time conferences. Now, your sister, on the other hoof…” I said, trailing off.
“Yes, do not take such liberties with her until she grants permission, and use decorum. I know you know what the rules will be.”
“Yes, I do, Luna. Now, shall we get going? I don’t want to be late for my own funer… AUDIENCE!” I quickly amended.
Twilight and most of the others laughed. “Don’t worry, Tristan. It won’t hurt at all,” she told me.
“Yeah, and neither does brain surgery. Between the two, I think I would rather have the surgery,” I quipped back.
“Let us be off, then, before Tristan has a nervous breakdown,” Luna said. She took the lead, guiding us out of the suite and down, my apprehension increasing with every step I took. I mean, I was going to meet with the top Princess of the land, she who has reigned for over a thousand years. I wasn’t this nervous when I shook the hand of a United States Senator who was touring the base a few years back. No, this was like being called to a White House conference with the President without being told why he wants to see you.
We stopped at a double wide door, flanked by armed guards. I was not a medieval recreationist, but I am a passionate gamer as well as being a fan of Forged in Fire, so I easily recognized the weapons the guards had at the ready, if not in particular, at least in general. I could also tell the edges and points were very sharp. These guards meant business.
Luna excused herself, saying that she needed to be inside before we entered. Twilight arranged us in a wedge-like formation, with me behind her, and the other five surrounding the two of us. The doors slowly opened, and Twilight led us into the throne room.
At the end of the room, Celestia sat on her throne, her white fur shining in the light. I was glad for my dark glasses. We approached the throne, stopping about ten feet away. I knew there were nobles and such around the room, Luna sitting beside her sister, but slightly below and behind Celestia. I could not care less about the nobles, I just didn’t want to make a mistake.
“Princess Celestia, allow me to present to you a new arrival to Equestria, Tristan. He comes from a distant place, brought here by some unknown reason,” Twilight announced.
“So he does. Tristan do step forward,” Celestia said pleasantly. I did so, getting a bit ahead of Twilight before going into a full bow.
Why is it just then that silly things happen? My hooves slid on the slick polished marble of the floor, the carpet stopping about where I had stopped earlier, and I fell flat, my nose and lower jaw bouncing quite painfully off the floor. I’m certain I saw a flock of brightly colored birds circling my head.
“It appears you have a lot to learn, Tristan. Walking and standing should take precedence,” Celestia said in tones that did not constitute a rebuke.
“Walking and standing I can do, Your Highness. Slippery marble floors are something I have not encountered yet. No practice time,” I managed to say as I unsteadily stood back up, still with those damn birds circling. I tried to banish them to Fluttershy, but they persisted in tormenting me.
“Princess Twilight, I invite you and your friends, both old and new, to a private dinner in twenty minutes, in the dining room,” Celestia said as she stood up. “This session of Day Court has concluded! Night Court will be in session in two hours!” she announced before leaving the… whatever you call the raised floor thrones sit on.
“Tristan? Are you all right?” Twilight asked once Celestia had turned away from the crowd.
“I don’t know. I feel like I should be practicing bird calls, but I don’t know any birds,” I mumbled, definitely feeling woozy. Getting kayoed twice in one day is a record not worth setting.
Twilight cast a healing spell on me, making the pain and confusion fade. “I’ve done more healing in the past week and a half than I have done in a year. Are you normally this clumsy or do you practice it?” she asked once the spell was cast and I could think straight.
“It’s an acquired talent, Princess Twilight. One of the few skills I have not mastered is skating, on wheels or blades. I need to figure out how to walk and stand on slick surfaces,” I said.
“You don’t have any problems at Friendship Castle, and they have smooth floors!” Twilight objected.
“I’m comfortable there, not here!” I snapped back. Apparently, that satisfied Twilight and the others, because they remained quiet as Twilight led the way to the dining room.
In the dining room, I was especially glad for my shades, because the room was lit up bright. Celestia sat at one end of the table, Luna at the other. I was bid to sit at Celestia’s right hoof. Trying to hide my apprehension, I did as I was bid.
“There is no need to worry, Tristan. I want to hear what you think about Equestria,” she said to me as I looked at my plate. Not glumly, I was trying to figure out just what was ON the plate.
“Princess, I have to say this much about Equestria. If I had known how to get here two decades ago, I would have. Now, I’m glad I’m here, and I hope to become a valuable, productive member of Ponyville society. These ladies have shown me nothing but kindness. I want to return it,” I told the Princess. A glance at Applejack showed her nodding at my words. Heck, it was all true.
“What job did you do in your previous world, Tristan?”
“I was a lead supply clerk, essentially coordinating all supply center activity for the base. It was an interesting job, but all the challenge had left it after twenty-four years at the same place. I keep my mind occupied by looking into anything that caught my interest.”
“What does catch your interest?”
“Now, learning about Equestria, learning magic, and learning how to thank my friends. They helped me, I should return the kindness with kindness,” I said with all sincerity.
Celestia smiled warmly at me, then looked around the table, at my friends. “They are a very diverse group of ponies, Tristan. How could you ever keep up with them?” Celestia asked.
I thought for a moment before replying. “Princess, when I was seven years old, I read a book my older brother left lying around. I saw a line in that book that struck a chord in me. I memorized it and have never forgotten it.
“It reads, ‘A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.’
“I’m about three-quarters through the list. When I came here, I was pondering the last item on the list. My death would not have been gallant, I can assure you of that.
“As diverse as they are, I’m sure I have a chance of keeping up, given time,” I concluded, taking a drink of whatever was there to be had.
“What’s left to be done?” Celestia asked. “Other than die gallantly, of course.”
“Okay, planning an invasion is not anything I have been called on to do. Same with butcher a hog. I’ve never gone from squeal to table, all my butchering was after the fact, in the kitchen. I’ve steered a ship, but not command. Designing a building I MIGHT be able to do, if I keep it simple. Writing a sonnet, fuhgeddaboudit!” I concluded in my best Bronx honk, causing a ripple of laughter around the table, Celestia and Luna included.
When I joined the laughter, I felt a warmth on my flanks, and a flash of light suffused the room. When the flare faded, I noticed everypony in the room staring at me. “What you all looking at?” I asked.
Rarity was sitting on my right and was looking at my flank openly. “My little pony, you have just gained your cutie mark,” Celestia said.
I got up and turned, so I could look at what had appeared there. Moving the tail of my cream-colored jacket aside, I beheld a grayish-silver mark where before there was only dark blue fur. I stared at it as well, trying to figure out what it was. Pinkie Pie was the first to figure it out.
She bounded up to me and engulfed me in a big enthusiastic hug. “It’s a JACK, silly! Like in the game!” she squealed as she damn near hugged the breath out of me as her party cannon fired, showering the table (and everypony) with confetti.
“As in ‘jack of all trades’, Tristan,” Twilight said. “It fits you.”
“Huh- I’d like to see him fly!” Rainbow Dash snorted.
“Is that a challenge, Dash? I can fly, but not like you. I need to build something first, but with it, I can fly.” I told the blue pegasus, looking right at her.
“You do that, and that would be so awesome!” Dash cheered.
“It is. I hope I can build the wing right,” I said, still looking at my mark.
“I have no doubt that you can, once you set your mind to it, Tristan,” Twilight said from her place at the table.
“Nor do I have any doubts,” Celestia added. “Shall we finish dinner? There is still the noble’s reception tonight, and I will need to fortify myself before. So should the rest of you.”
“Good idea, Princess,” I added, lending my support for the idea as I sat back down at the table and dug in with a new enthusiasm. I’m still not quite sure just what it was I was eating, but it tasted a lot better now than it did ten minutes before!
After dinner, we trooped back upstairs to our suites, to dress for the reception, and in my case, take another shower. I needed it to clear my head after all the recent events, and, I’m not afraid to admit, to stand in front of a mirror for a few minutes, just admiring my brand-new cutie mark. Jack of all trades, eh? I admit to versatility, but all trades? Not now, but eventually, I’m sure.
When I came out to the living room area, all the ladies were there, waiting for me. They all admired the silver outfit I was wearing, and more importantly, HOW I wore it. “Tristan, to enter the party, you should escort one of us inside the ballroom. Who would you prefer?” Twilight asked.
“Honestly, I would pick all of you to do so. Seeing as it can only be one, and this is a noble’s party, it should be Princess Twilight, if only to impress the nobles. I just want it said that I favor you all equally, and I refuse to pick one over another,” I said with dignity. “That is something you ladies should fight over. I’ll abide by your decision.”
Truly, all the ladies looked spectacular, wearing gowns I am positive Rarity had designed and made. I could say something nice about each of them, but they all shone in their own inner and outer beauty. Makes me glad I’m wearing dark glasses!
Applejack was the first to speak. “Tristan, you sure do speak honestly. Ah can feel it. You’re finding something to lahk in all of us, an’ you don’t want to hurt our feelins.”
All the ladies relaxed at Applejack’s words. After all, if you can’t trust the words of the Element of Honesty, who CAN you trust? I’d pick Applejack over Prestone any day of the week.
Twilight clopped her hooves together. “Now that THAT is settled, let’s be on our way. Sooner there, sooner done, and we can go back to being ourselves,” she said before taking a deep breath, then letting it out with a sigh. “Let’s do this.”
Together, we left the suite and made our way to the ballroom where the party is taking place, Twilight leading the way. I took great pains to tread carefully on the slick marble, not wanting to slip a third time and crack my noggin. One more good knock and there would be scrambled brains all over the place. Definitely something to avoid.
At the doors to the ballroom, Twilight spoke to the door pony, a pegasus whom I took to be of advanced years. She opened the doors and announced our arrival in a startlingly penetrating, yet not overly loud voice, “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her entourage!”
Every noble’s head turned at the announcement, looking our way. The variety of haute couture staring at me was intimidating- for about ten milliseconds. I looked back at them coolly, putting myself at least one stratum above the highest in the room. Hey, I was escorting a princess, right?
Several nobles broke themselves away from whatever conversation knots they were in and made their way to us, while we headed to a serving table and were served drinks or nibbles. One white-furred dandyish unicorn was the first to arrive. Placing himself in front of me, the overdressed dandy announced, “I am Prince Blueblood, direct descendant of Princess Platinum and nephew to Princess Celestia. Why should we even allow a blank flank outsider such as you into our august presence?” he half-asked, half-demanded.
I caught Rarity rolling her eyes in disgust. I looked right at this Blueblood. “First of all, my name is Tristan. Second, I am not a blank flank, I achieved my cutie mark not more than an hour ago in the presence of Princess Celestia herself. Third, while I may be an outsider, having only arrived in Equestria not two weeks ago, I am positive I can have more of a beneficial impact on Equestria than you could ever hope to attain,” I said in my most composed tones of voice, focusing hard on having no accent at all. “I may not be of such distinguished ancestry as you may be, but I know I can achieve honors honestly, on my own efforts, not on the coattails of my ancestors, and I intend on proving those words with actions, Prince Blueblood. Can you do the same?”
Blueblood met my stare for a moment before muttering a reply. “Jumped-up commoner…”
“Commoner I may be, in your eyes, but common I am most definitely not, Prince Blueblood. Would you like to get aboard on the ground floor of my attempts to make Equestria a better place, or do you declare yourself in opposition?” I challenged, keeping myself calm and unruffled. Had I been a pegasus, I’m sure my wings would be outstretched stiffly in frustration. Good thing I’m a unicorn. I kept my horn from lighting up in annoyance.
“I hardly think one such as you could have anything to offer Equestria,” Blueblood snorted.
“Would you care to wager on that? Say fifty thousand bits?” I countered.
That made Blueblood blink in surprise. “Fifty thousand bits? Where could you possibly come up with fifty thousand bits?”
“Never you mind that, Prince Blueblood. I will wager with you, that within one year of this date, I will have made a positive effect on Equestria in a noticeable way that cannot be denied by you or anypony else. Do you accept or decline the wager?”
By this time, I had attracted the attention of everypony in the ballroom, attendee and servitor alike. It was so quiet, I could hear my heartbeat in the background as Blueblood looked a bit apprehensive under the combined stares of the nobility present. Gathering himself, he looked at me. “I accept your wager, Mister Tristan. You have one year from this date to have a positive effect on Equestrian society. Fifty thousand bits to the winner.”
I then glanced at Princess Twilight, who had moved closer to me during the verbal exchange. “Princess Twilight, do you bear witness to this wager?” I asked formally.
“I do so bear witness, as do the Elements of Harmony. One year, fifty thousand bits,” she said as the rest of the Elements nodded in agreement, even Pinkie Pie. I must admit to a little surprise that she was handling this formal affair without disruption. I had thought her incapable of doing so.
“The wager is on, Prince Blueblood. Do not stand in my way, or else you will be trampled, and it would be unseeming for a noble to be trampled. I won’t stand still for that,” I declared, getting approving looks from many of the nobles. I then turned away from Blueblood, paying attention to the drinks arrayed on the serving table. “Just what do you recommend, Princess?”
Twilight’s horn lit up as she lifted two glasses. “I’m quite partial to this wine, Tristan. I hope you like it.”
I took the wineglass in my glow and sipped. I knew it was wine, and it was quite tasty, but, being practically a teetotaler for the past twenty-plus years, I could not make heads nor tails of it. I gave up drinking after one night of liberty where I had to be brought back to the ship in a blind drunk and waking up on the floor of the library with a hangover that I still do not want to remember over two and a half decades later. I could hear Blueblood sputter some before stomping off.
For about the next hour, I schmoozed with curious nobles, many of whom at least tried to be polite with me. I met politeness with politeness, snobbery with snobbery. Any pony who tried to intimidate me, I countered in my own way, with my own confidence. At least one of the Elements stayed by my side, rotating in and out.
Rarity then brought an earth pony up to meet me, an older black and tan stallion dressed neatly, but not flamboyantly, as many of the nobles were. “Tristan, darling, I would like you to meet Lord Topspin, owner of Topspin Productions, the leading record maker in Canterlot. I’m sure the two of you will have much to discuss.”
“From what Miss Rarity has told me, indeed we do, Mister Tristan,” the earth pony said in a marvelous deep voice which reminded me of James Earl Jones doing Darth Vader. We then launched into a discussion of how records were made and managed to get an invitation to his production facility the next afternoon, Rarity agreeing to be my guide to finding the place. Topspin was keenly interested in my music files, but I did not bring my phone to the party, it being secure up in my room. He did ask for a sample performance of a song, and I asked Pinkie Pie if she wanted to help me do the song I had played for her.
“Sure, Tristan! It was fun! Let’s do it!” she agreed, and together, we did ‘She’s a Must to Avoid’. Where she got the musicians to accompany us, I can’t say. It was just Pinkie being Pinkie. We did attract a lot of attention, most favorable, with Blueblood and a small clique of his giving us disapproving looks.
Topspin and many of the other nobles gave us polite applause when we were done. “If that’s a sample, Mister Tristan, I cannot wait to hear the rest!”
“Clear a lot of time, Lord Topspin, because I have quite a bit to listen to!”
Fortunately, the rest of the evening at the party went rather smoothly, with only a couple of small bumps happening when some of Blueblood’s clique tried to get under my fur. I kept up my normal behavior, meaning I gave what I got, whether they liked it or not. Also, Pinkie Pie somehow got her party cannon into the ballroom, set it off, then called for a pie fight, the winner being the one with the least splatters on their clothes. Rarity and I took the opportunity to duck out before the artillery barrage started. From what I heard the next morning at breakfast, that was my best move of the evening. I had the feeling that Pinkie would not be able to restrain herself all night long…
After breakfast, Twilight decided to take me on a tour of the castle, saying that I would enjoy it. When I pointed out my track record with the marble floors, Twilight said she had something for that, giving me shoes for my hooves that were shod in a rubberlike substance, stopping any sliding problem. Once I got them on my hooves, out we went. Rarity said she will meet me at the castle front gates at one, because now she was going to check her boutique here in Canterlot while she had the chance. The only other one to go with us was Applejack, everypony else finding something else to occupy their time while here in Canterlot.
The tour was as spectacular as Twilight promised, the castle living up to its grandeur. I met some of the more important ponies in Her Highness’ government, ones who were not at the party the night before. They were good folk, with only a little stuffiness in their shirts, especially the Prime Minister, a smaller gray unicorn whose mane looked like every brush that approached it had run away in terror before doing its job. A good fellow, he is.
The only flaw in the tour happened when we were up in a turret, enjoying the view. A throw rug at the door to the parapet was not secured in place, and guess who went for a slide? You guessed it, me. I was glad for my sleep the night before, which had allowed me to recover from yesterday’s knocks.
“Tristan, will you please watch your step!” Twilight scolded when I returned to consciousness.
“Don’t blame me, Twilight, I didn’t put the rug there!” I protested.
“I’m going to have to teach you some healing spells, so you can take care of yourself!” Twilight huffed, leading us not to the steps down, but an elevator platform in that tower. “I don’t want you to trip on the way down, Tristan,” she snorted, Applejack holding back a smile.
Lunch, fortunately, gave me time to recover from my knock, and promptly at one, I was outside waiting for Rarity. As we walked to Topspin Productions, she told me about how well her boutique was doing here in Canterlot, and did I happen to see today’s copy of Equestria Today? When I admitted I had not, she promptly steered me to a newsstand.
There, on page one, above the fold, was a photograph of me, in my silver getup, at the party, followed by an article about my presence there. I never noticed the reporters nor the photographers. The article was surprisingly detailed, saying accurately that I was not from Equestria, but from someplace else, and detailing my wager with Blueblood, whom I gathered was not in good standing with the author of the article.
“There’s a lot of speculation on what your benefit to Equestria will be, Tristan,” Rarity told me
“They can speculate, it’s up to me to make my words real. May Lord Topspin agree with me.”
The studio and factory surprised me for being higher tech than I expected, but it would work. I pulled out the phone and held it up to a microphone in the studio while a master record was cut from it. We then took that master and ran it through a copy-making machine before playing the record. We both agreed that the fidelity was more than adequate for the job. I agreed to write down a list of songs and a description of the lyrics (if any) to submit to him. He will have a contract drawn up that will split the gross proceedings of sales of the records sixty-forty, sixty for Topspin, forty for me. I insisted on that because I knew Topspin is taking the initial costs onto his company. With Rarity overseeing the negotiations, I had no doubt that it would be to our mutual benefit. We then spent the rest of the afternoon listening to some selections, debating if we would make copies or not. About half of my music I rejected for copying, because the references were all human world related, and had no suitable base reference here.
Lord Topspin was kind enough to give me two hundred bits in advance, out of his own purse. “So you can entertain your friend properly,” he told me when I protested. I shrugged and accepted the gift in the spirit intended. As we left the building, I asked Rarity if she knew a good restaurant. She did and took me about ten blocks away to a place that reminded me of Arabia or Turkey, of all things.
Service was prompt, the food excellent, the prices reasonable, and the hostess friendly. We had a most excellent dinner and made our way back to the castle after dark. “Thank you for a wonderful dinner, Tristan,” Rarity told me as we walked up to the castle gates.
“Rarity, it was indeed my pleasure. I know we will be here at least one more night, and I’m glad I had the chance. I like being with you, and I want to be able to do so with the rest of the ladies. Fair is fair, after all. Once I get the income, I will be able to do so,” I told her in reply.
“Your generosity in taking me to dinner shows you do have sparkling qualities. I, for one, am glad to see such. I’m just not used to it coming TO me, instead of from me,” she said gently as we passed the gates.
“I suggest you be ready for it, because I’m going to show such generosity to you and the others.”
Next morning, after breakfast, Twilight made an announcement. “Tristan, today, you are going to be training with the Royal Guard, for lessons in self-defense, both physical and magical. Today will be an introductory lesson, and a senior instructor will meet with you in Ponyville daily for training until you can pass his requirements.”
I was a bit surprised. “Twilight, what brought this about?” I asked.
“Rumor has made it to somepony that Blueblood and his friends are not happy with you and aim to make you lose your wager. What tactics they will stoop to, I don’t want to think about. I want you to be prepared in case none of us are near enough to help,” she told me.
“I see your point,” I replied. “While I will never shun the pleasure of your or anypony’s company, you all do have lives to lead, and I treasure my independence. So, I shall willingly undergo this training to my instructor’s satisfaction,” I paused then to look at Twilight, “as well as your satisfaction, Princess. Let me begin my training. Sooner started, sooner finished, sooner our lives will return to what we call normal.”
Twilight and Rainbow Dash led me to the parade grounds, where we were met by a dark green unicorn with a light tan mane and tail, gray hooves, a white horn and an expression on his face that reminded me of my company commander back in boot camp. I had nightmares about him for years. There was also enough gold on his… call it a uniform, but it could also be armor, like I said I’m not a recreationist, just a gamer, to make me think this fellow is an officer. “Tristan, this is Lieutenant Accurate Strike, senior instructor in the Solar Guard,” Twilight said, performing introductions. “He will be your instructor in personal defense.”
Accurate Strike looked me over as if I was a three-day-old fish. I looked back at him (and a little up as well, he’s a big unicorn, but not as big as Bulk Biceps back in Ponyville) with a level gaze, not giving in to his intimidation. “I am sure Lieutenant Strike will instruct me to the standards desired by you and Princess Celestia,” I said in a plain voice, no tricks or accents in use. “But, will he train me to MY standards? That is the question, and I hope it will be so. I regret the necessity, but I can see the value.”
“Your basic honesty shines through. Applejack will be proud. Now, I will leave you three to start instruction, and I will see you at lunch,” Twilight said.
“Three of us?” I asked with a touch of surprise.
“Heck, yeah! There are more than a few moves I can teach you, Tristan!” Rainbow Dash said from where she hovered.
“If you can teach, Dash, then I will learn,” I said, looking up at Dash. The whole time, Accurate Strike was appraising me, trying for intimidation, like any D.I. would do. However, I am not an impressionable teenager, I am a middle-aged adult with nearly thirty years of government service, both in the military and out. I let him look while I returned the compliment.
Once Twilight took her leave and was out of sight, Strike said his first words. “You have been in the military before, yes?” His voice is deep yet penetrating. I could imagine what he would be like in battle, or worse yet, training.
“Yes, I have, Lieutenant. Four years enlistment, then twenty-four years in government service, attaining a high rank there. Intimidation is not going to work on me, I have little to gain from being intimidated. I am going into this reluctantly, but I do realize the necessity, and whatever you are willing to teach, I am willing to learn. Shall we begin?” I said to the lieutenant. Rainbow Dash was paying attention, in her own way.
“Yes, we shall begin. First part of the day, we will concentrate on the physical training. After lunch, the magical. I have heard you are a quick study. Prove it.” Strike declared.
What followed was one of the worst four-hour segments of time I have ever experienced, topping the football game in the pouring rain where I went home muddy, soaked, and with more bruises than I could count. Strike demonstrated many moves on me, both grappling and more important, how to break grapples. Dash was there to teach me how to break grapples from a pegasus, which is completely different from a unicorn or an earth pony. I must have acquitted myself well, because Strike never complained about my performance. To be honest, he didn’t compliment me, either. Dash, however, did have some complaints, because of what I did to her on some of her flying attacks. One time I did a quick double-buck combination that not only got her off my back, it sent her flying across the parade grounds. Strike’s only response was an ear flick and a quirked eyebrow.
By lunch, I was battered, sore, and grimy from being thrown to the ground more times than I could accurately count. “Be back here in two hours, and we will begin the magic part of the training,” Strike told me bluntly.
I did the best salute I could muster. “Aye aye, sir.” I said before I stumbled inside the palace, my body one big bruise. Rainbow Dash flew alongside me.
“Tristan, you were awesome out there! You sure you have not trained in fighting?” she asked as I stumbled inside, heading for the lift to the suite level.
“That is correct, Dash. I have not. However, when at sea, I had plenty of time to think, and I came to a conclusion. If someone decides to fight or harm me, fight back. Fight back hard. They get one chance to win. If they fail, bring the fight to an end fast. If it means killing someone, do so and regret the necessity later. Stupidity is its own reward,” I said, fighting back groans. I did not want to appear weak before my friend. I sagged against the lift wall, after telling the operator which floor.
“Tristan, I cannot fault what you say,” she said, landing on the floor and putting a wing around my barrel. “It can’t be easy for you to even think that.”
“It’s not, Dash. It’s very hard, but, during a fight, there is no time for self-doubt. You go for the win, because losing may mean your life.” I tapped my head. “Inside here is a fight I hope to win, but I don’t know how. I do know going home WILL reawaken it, so I have to do the best I can here. Now that I have a target on my back, I will do whatever I can to stay here. You are my friend and I thank you for letting me ramble,” I said as the lift stopped and the door opened.
Rainbow Dash helped me down the hall to the suite, into the bathroom, and started drawing a hot bath. “You get in and soak. I’ll go get your lunch and bring it here. Don’t you dare fall asleep, okay?” she cautioned.
“I won’t, Dash. I hurt too much. Bet you can’t have lunch here before the tub is ready,” I managed to say with a weak smile.
“You’re on!” she said eagerly before vanishing.
While I waited for Dash to return, I took a brush and got the worst of the grass and leaves out of my mane, tail and coat. As I brushed, Fluttershy came in, with a medical kit. “Tristan, let me check you over some,” the shy yellow pegasus asked.
“Please do so, Fluttershy. Any treatment is welcome.” She proceeded to check me over, looking critically for any cuts or lumps. Finding none, she took a bottle of what I took to be mineral salts and poured them into the tub as it filled. “This will help with the bruising. It works well on my animal friends.”
“Fluttershy, you have my thanks. I regret the need of the training, but I can see the need as well. Thank you for your support,” I said as the bath neared its fill line, steam coming off the water’s surface.
She turned away from me, blushing a little at my compliment. “You need it, Tristan. I’m happy I can help,” she said just as Rainbow Dash flew back in with lunch on a tray, shutting off the water to the tub just below the marks.
“Pay up, Tristan!” she said as she set the tray down. The tray had legs on it, so it could hang on to the tub and I can eat while soaking. “Thanks for coming up, Fluttershy.”
“Glad to help.” Fluttershy whispered as I slowly got in to the tub. It was hot, all right, but bearable, if only just. I made myself comfortable on a bench and looked at the tray.
“There’s a lot more on the tray than I want, Dash,” I said.
“Hey, I brought mine, too. Now, how you gonna pay up?” she asked, grabbing a sandwich.
“What would you like? A night out for dinner here in Canterlot?” I asked as I chose a sandwich myself. Despite being bruised and battered, I was hungry.
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Naah. Every place here in Canterlot is so fancified, there’s no fun in it. All the good places are coffee shops and Donut Joe’s, and they are not good for dinner.”
“Well, then, how about sitting with me at dinner at my right hoof? I know I would like that.”
The pegasus gave me a long look, considering my words. “Okay! We’ll do that. But, when we get back to Ponyville, I’ll take dinner at the hayburger stand!”
“Dash, you got a deal!” I said, raising a hoof up for a hoofbump, which was returned with a big grin. That hoofbump sent waves of pain down my foreleg, but I did my best to hide it.
We sat there and chatted as I soaked, the pain gradually leaving my muscles, talking about the training session. She liked my double buck combination, saying it was something she had not thought of. Somewhen in that time, Fluttershy had went on her way, and I didn’t notice until later. I asked Dash about it, and she told me that it’s Fluttershy’s way to do that. I stopped worrying about it then but vowed silently to thank Fluttershy MY way.
After getting out of the tub, I got dry and made my way back to the parade ground, thanking Rainbow Dash for her time. Not seeing Accurate Strike there meant I must have been early, so, I sat down and began thinking. What CAN I do with what I knew now to defend myself?
I don’t know how long it was before Accurate Strike broke my reverie. “Early, I see.”
“I hate to be late, Lieutenant. What do you have for me this afternoon?” I asked.
Until sundown, Accurate Strike taught me some offensive and defensive spells. I soon found out why we were training out on the parade ground instead of indoors, because horn blasts are potent, as are shields. We did a bit of landscape rearranging that afternoon, all intentional, of course.
When he called a halt to our training, he looked at me with something approaching pride, but not quite. “You are an apt student with battle magic. Now, the next step is to learn how to cast them fast, because any opponent worthy of the name is not going to allow you any time to gather mana,” he told me.
“I take it that speed casting will be tomorrow’s lesson?” I asked.
“Tonight, you will find a book on your bed. I suggest you read it before morning drills. You are mine for a full day tomorrow, then in Ponyville, two hours in the afternoon four days a week until I’m satisfied you won’t get yourself killed in the first seconds of combat,” he said to me.
“Fair enough,” I said as I gathered mana. “Maybe then, I can consider you a friend?”
For the first time, Accurate Strike broke his stern drill master persona and smiled. “You can now but wait until we get to Ponyville before we actually show it. If I’m spotted like that here in Canterlot, there goes my reputation.”
“Point made, Lieutenant. Let’s make it so.”
At dinner that night, which was shared with the Princesses, I made sure to sit between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, showing them honor in my own way. I was asked about my day, and I replied honestly about how rough the training is. I did ask Twilight about an idea I had, a way to teleport my phone to me, and more importantly, send it back to a secure place when I was done with it, to prevent theft.
Twilight, Luna and Celestia all pondered the question, but it was Pinkie Pie who spoke up first. “I have a way you can do that! I can show you, but you’ll have to Pinkie Promise to never tell ANYPONY!”
I nodded in agreement. “Okay, Pinkie. I Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony what you teach me.”
She gave me a frowny face. “You gotta DO it, too!”
“Do what?” I asked. All six from Ponyville then demonstrated what a Pinkie Promise entailed.
“Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my EYE!” I said, doing the gestures before the final one, which I wound up doing just a bit too enthusiastically. I woke up to Pinkie Pie standing over me.
“Silly Tristan! You didn’t have to promise THAT hard!” she laughed.
“Yeah, Sugarcube. When you make a promise, you REALLY promise!” Applejack added.
“Well, I say what I mean and mean what I say,” I said, getting back up before rubbing my forehead. Twilight rolled her eyes and went to get up, but I waved her down. “No, Twilight, I’ll keep this one for a while. It will teach me to be more careful.”
“Hey! I noticed that all during combat practice, you didn’t slip, stumble or fall the whole time!” Rainbow Dash said suddenly. “Only when things are not threatening do you knock yourself out!”
“Praise whatever for small favors, if my life here goes that way,” I said as I sat back up. “I can live with it, if it doesn’t kill me first.”
“That, my little pony, is what we are trying to prevent.” Princess Celestia said from her place at the table.
After dinner, I retired to my room and did my assigned reading and drills for a couple of hours before Pinkie showed up and demonstrated how to hide and retrieve my phone from a hiding place. It took practice, the clock chiming ten before Pinkie declared herself satisfied. “Fortunately, your phone is small. I’m not going to show you what I do with my party cannon, so don’t ask!” she told me when we were done.
“I won’t, Pinkie. Thank you for what you have showed me this evening. I promised I won’t tell, and so I won’t,” I told her in tones which satisfied her. (What, you think I’m going to describe her methods here? Nope- I Pinkie Promised, so there!)
Wednesday was like Tuesday, only this time Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Twilight joined me on the parade ground. “This morning, I am going to see how you handle yourself against more than one attacker,” Accurate Strike told me. “That’s why the Elements are here. Do your best.”
At first, I thought to ‘pull my punches’, because I did not want to hurt my friends. I soon learned that THAT was a bad idea, because one, they are real tough ladies in a scrum and two, they weren’t pulling their punches! I learned a lot that day, mainly that I had a surprisingly high capacity for pain. Let it be said that the ladies and Accurate Strike all got their share of lumps as well.
Before dinner, as we were soaking our aches away in a medicated hot tub, Applejack turned to me and said, “Tristan, you fight like a cornered rat, only nastier.”
I looked back at the earth pony, who had her hat off and her main untied. “Years ago, I promised myself that I would not START a fight, but I will do anything in my power to FINISH a fight. People who knew me knew that fact and took pains to make sure I was not around fights.”
“Why would they do that?” Twilight asked.
“It’s because of how I ended fights. If I came upon a brawl, I would wade in and separate the combatants as best I could. Now, if anyone took a swing at me, I would convince them of their stupidity, usually by sending the offender on a flight, without a license,” I answered.
“How could you send them on a flight?” Rainbow Dash asked, her wings spread on top of the steaming water, feeling the bruising I had delivered unto her.
“By either giving them a hip toss or picking them up bodily and throwing them either onto a table, the ground, the water, or once, through a window. I had taken some unarmed combat courses while serving in the military, so I could become a better security guard. I achieved a decent level of skill, and have not let myself forget it,” I told her, with no trace of pride in my voice. I take no pleasure in hurting anyone, even if they rightfully deserved the pain.
“No wonder why ahm hurtin’ as much as I am, Tristan,” Applejack said with a groan behind the words. “You sure know how to land a blow.”
“I second that,” Twilight added. Rainbow Dash just sank beneath the surface for a moment before resurfacing.
At dinner, I sat between Rainbow Dash and Applejack, with Twilight across from me. By then, much of our pain had subsided, and we were all feeling much more civil. Twilight stood to speak.
“Tomorrow, we will leave Canterlot for Ponyville on the after-lunch train. In the morning, Tristan and Rarity must see Lord Topspin for some contract work. Accurate Strike will meet us at the train, with his equipment. Until Tristan passes his requirements, Strike will be the commander of the Ponyville detachment of the Solar Guard,” she said, looking right at me when she did.
I let out a groan that was only half play acting. “Do you have a hot tub at your castle, Twilight?” I asked.
“There’s one at the spa. You’re going to need it and a massage every day after training,” she warned. By her voice, I was either going to enjoy the experience or regret it. The odds were in the coin flip range, for sure.
“Rarity, what’s the deal with Lord Topspin?” I asked.
“Tomorrow, we are going to sign the contract with Topspin Productions, and you are going to record ten songs for reproduction. Depending on sales, we are to head back to Canterlot once a month, to record ten more each time,” she told me.
“I’ll select a variety tonight before I go to bed. That way, we can find out what will and won’t sell well, and to what demographics.”
“You know something about sales?” Rarity asked, surprised.
I nodded. “Some. Just what I picked up in study. Not like I ever did much with it.”
On the train ride back to Ponyville, I told the assembled group (which included Spike, Starlight, and Accurate Strike) about which songs I had recorded, how many promotional copies I had with me, and what I intended to do with them. A set to the school, a set for the Mayor (I had offered a set to Pinkie, but she turned them down. She suggested my gifting a set to the Mayor, instead), and two sets to be kept in the library, one to be left alone and the other set to be loaned out. The rest will be promotional issues, which I will use to decide who will sell my records in Ponyville and elsewhere.
“You’re not going to forget dinner at the hayburger stand tonight, are you?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Not at all. Anypony who wishes to dine there tonight, it will be on me!” I declared. Everyone agreed to that, even Spike.
“Hey, if it gets me out of cooking tonight, I’m all for it!” Spike declared, to everypony’s laughter. I was glad for Princess Celestia’s gift of ten thousand bits, to help me get settled. I had every plan to remain at Friendship Castle for the time being, saving my bits until Accurate Strike said I was fit to be on my own.
We arrived in Ponyville mid-afternoon. The only ponies waiting for us were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, they being Applejack’s sister Apple Bloom, Rarity’s sister Sweetie Belle, and Rainbow Dash’s not-sister Scootaloo. I never did figure out the relationship between Dash and Scootaloo, and I never thought it polite to ask. The girls rushed up to me, talking a mile a minute each about ideas to help me get my cutie mark.
I smiled at the fillies. “Ladies, calm down,” I told them. “Apparently, news travels slowly here.” I turned, presenting my flank to them.
They all squealed and mobbed me with hugs. I fell to the platform, trying to hug them all back at once. I think I succeeded, but I’m not sure. “Easy, girls!” I pleaded. They did back off and let me stand again.
“But, what does that mean?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Silly! It means he’s a Jack of all trades!” Pinkie Pie said with a laugh. All three fillies took the news well, I think.
“Does that mean you can do EVERYTHING, Mister Tristan?” Scootaloo asked.
“No, not everything, Scootaloo. It means that if I apply myself, I can get things done, but maybe not in the ‘proper’ style. It shows that I’m versatile, willing to learn anything,” I explained. “It’s something anypony can do, if they are willing to try.”
“Can you show us how?” Sweetie Belle asked.
I rubbed my chin at the question. “I can do the best I can. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to be fast, but I’ll try,” I promised.
The three fillies gathered around me for a more sedate hug. “We’re willing to learn!” Apple Bloom said. The words touched my heart in a way I have seldom felt before. It is a good feeling to have, and I made a silent promise to myself to treasure that feeling, and to prove myself worthy of it every damned day I drew breath.
“Shall we all meet at the hayburger stand in an hour?” I called out. “That will give us all time to check our homes before dinner.” Getting unanimous agreement, we all went our separate ways. I made sure to give Spike a hoof in pulling the luggage cart. In fact, I had him ride the cart while I pulled it. Sure, I knew he could, but I like the little dragon and want to show him some kindness as well.
Dinner at the burger stand was a slightly chaotic affair, what with all of us, plus the Crusaders. Chaotic, but fun. “Yes, your word IS good, Tristan,” Rainbow Dash said, holding a half-eaten hayburger in one hoof. “Not to mention tasty!”
“I promised you dinner here, and so I deliver,” I told her after having some potatoes. Turning to Twilight, I asked her, “So, what is the Plan of the Day for tomorrow, Twilight?”
“Other than your training with Accurate Strike behind the castle two hours before dinner, your day is open, Tristan. I have a lot of backlog to catch up on, and I know you want to do some deliveries and searching. The weekend will be open, too. We’ll start more magic lessons on Monday,” Twilight said.
I sighed in relief, finding out my days were open. “Thank you, Twilight. If you need a hoof in your work, ask. I’m willing to help you, too.”
“If I need you, I will say so. Thank you for your offer.”
Friday morning, I woke up feeling better than I have felt in a while. Maybe it was the day without the rough training, I’m not sure. After a long shower and breakfast, I loaded up a cart Spike had dug up for me to use, loaded up my saddlebags and headed out on my rounds.
My first stop is a discount shop, because I needed a new pair of sunglasses, having broken my good pair in Canterlot. I bought two spare pair of glasses, as well as two more hats of a plain design. I treasure the hat Rarity had given me but seeing as I had planned on doing some hard work, I did not want to get the hat messed up.
My second stop is the school, having timed matters so I would be there during morning recess. After greeting the foals, I went inside to gift Miss Cheerilee the pre-release records I had brought from Canterlot. I told her of our tentative release schedule, along with a promise to deliver records before they hit the stores. I also described the code on the label, a green stripe meaning anyone can listen, yellow stripe saying parents should proof the records before letting kids listen, and a red stripe meaning adults only. I did promise that red stripes will be rare.
After getting through the herd of foals with a promise to drop by next week sometime for another ‘music lesson’, my next stop is Swift Stitch, the tailor. He is also a cobbler, and I wanted boots for my hooves for working in mud. Plus, getting the insides of my hooves dirty felt repulsive to me.
Next up, lunch. I avoided the hayburger stand and went to Sugarcube Corner, where I refreshed myself with several large oatmeal cookies and some milk, getting Mrs. Cake and the twins to smile at my words and actions.
After lunch came the stop that I was sweating. There is only one store that sold record players in Ponyville, and it was owned and operated by Filthy Rich, the wealthiest stallion in town, and the father of Diamond Tiara. I found him at the store, in his office, and I started my presentation.
When I had made my pitch, I asked to play a demo record or two. He stopped me by waving a hoof. “Mister Tristan, Diamond Tiara has been going on for the past week about your music and regaling us with the four songs you played at the school. What I want to know is, how do I go about getting your music to sell?” he asked.
Not showing the sigh of relief I let slowly out through my nostrils, I gazed at the wealthy pony, collecting my wits. “Mister Rich, do you deal with Topspin Productions in Canterlot?”
Mister Rich’s face fell into a frown. “I know of them, but Topspin and I do not get along very well. I will agree to sell your records in my shops, but I insist you, or an agent you choose, be the intermediary between Topspin and myself. We have not got along for a long time.”
I nodded in agreement. “What I need to know from you is how many records you should need. If I remember right, you have more than one store, correct?” I asked. At his nod, I went on. “This is going to be a challenge. I do not know the extent of your chain of stores, which means I have nothing to base estimates on. I would like to help you, but right now, I don’t have the information to do a proper job.”
Filthy Rich blinked, not having considered that. It seemed like he did not remember, or even realize, that I had only appeared in Equestria only a short time before, and honestly did not know conditions here. “If information is what you need, information you shall get,” he told me. Said information was provided, over the next hour. His holdings were more extensive than I had realized.
“If you have all this wealth, why are you living here in Ponyville instead of a place like Canterlot or Manehattan?” I asked.
“I like it here, Mister Tristan. That’s the best way to say it. If I’m happy here, why go elsewhere? Besides, I hate moving. Traveling is fine. Moving is not,” he told me.
“I can live with that. What I have now are just samples, which I am willing to leave with you. I will get with my contract pony and have one drawn up for your approval. When you do, I will notify Topspin of the contract, and you can start sales. Deal?”
Filthy Rich bumped hooves with me. “Deal. Now, just which of these did you play at the school? I want to hear the ‘real’ versions, not hers. I love Diamond Tiara, but her singing voice is not perfect. Yet,” he said after a short pause. I showed him, and I left, feeling much relieved that I had survived the encounter, looking like I would profit from it.
Naturally, my next stop was the Carousel Boutique, and my business pony, Rarity. I gave her a thumbnail explanation of my talk with Filthy Rich and asked her for her input. She referred me to an attorney here in Ponyville, one Legal Terms, and ask her for her help. “Honestly, darling, I use her for my business contracts. She’s so much better at it than I am,” she told me.
“You did very well indeed with Topspin,” I said.
“Yes, but that was just doing the initial deal. Legal Terms is so much better at the details than I am. Topspin used his attorneys to draw up the contract,” Rarity said as she sewed something that looked nice on her sewing machine.
“I’m off to see Legal Terms now, Rarity. See you again soon!” I said before heading out.
Legal Terms turned out to be a middle-aged pink and green earth pony mare, with a cutie mark of three brown quill pens in a black inkwell. When I explained to her who sent me and what I was looking for, she readily agreed to not only draw up the contract, but to act as an intermediary between Filthy Rich and Lord Topspin. For a consideration, of course. That took about a half hour of haggling to set up, but we made it, and I had her include that in the contract, so I would not forget.
My last stop this Friday is at the clock shop. I wanted a watch, because one of the hardest things for me to do is tell time. Here, especially, what with the sun and the moon acting like jack-in-the-boxes, it really messes up my miserable excuse of a time sense.
I walked in to the clock shop and started looking at the wares. Time Turner was not there, but there was a ‘be back soon’ sign on the front showcase, so I killed time (pun intended) looking at the watches.
There were fob watches, pocket watches, and watches on straps that looked like they would easily strap on to a foreleg. I admired one watch that was set in a leather sleeve, with a flap that covered the watch when I was not looking at it. It did look familiar to me, but for the life of me, I could not place WHERE I saw it.
“Find something interesting, Tristan?” Time Turner said from behind the counter. I must have sprung a good three feet up before landing.
“I didn’t hear you walk up!” I managed to say after coming down. “You scared the daylights out of me!”
“In your case, avoiding daylight would be a good thing, hmm?” he replied with a hint of a mocking tone, but not a vicious mocking.
“You do have a point. I would like to buy this watch here,” I said, tapping the display case.
“Ah, that one. I made that to honor an old friend, whom I have not seen in too long a time. He wore one a lot like this. One hundred bits, including repair warranty if needed,” Time Turner told me, opening the display case and removing the watch. He flipped up the leather flap and checked the watch against some other clocks in the shop while I dug out the hundred bits. “Oh, it’s self-winding, too. One less thing to remember in the morning, yes?”
“Indeed. Does it have an alarm setting?” I asked.
“Indeed, it does,” he told me before showing me how to set and activate it, and more important, how to shut it off! “You’re not going to be able to ignore this alarm!”
I took the watch and slid it up over my left forehoof. I twisted it around some to get it comfortable and practiced flicking the cover open and shut. That was when I noticed that the leather band had no buckles on it. It had slipped on over my hoof without any problems.
Time Turner noticed my curiosity. “Oh, that. Just a simple enchantment I hired a friend to put on watchbands. It won’t come off unless you WANT it off.”
“That’s good to hear. How durable is it?” I asked.
“It will hold up during your training session which starts in about fifteen minutes. I would shake a leg if you don’t want to be late,” he cautioned.
“Yes, you’re right, thank you! Best be off, then!” I said as I went to leave.
“At least you’re not learning Venusian Aikido. That’s a little rough,” Time Turner said as I cleared the door frame. I got exactly six paces before stopping dead in my tracks. I turned to go back in, but the door had a sign on it that said ‘closed for the day’ on it, a sign I KNEW was not on there when I walked out.
“Venusian Aikido. Where have I heard THAT before?” I muttered to myself as I hitched myself up to my cart and headed back to Twilight’s palace, and my training session with Accurate Strike. “I’m sure I’ve heard of it…” I muttered, thinking about a tall white-haired man in a ruffled shirt and a smoking jacket, whose name escaped my mind at the moment.
Matters went very well indeed for the next couple of months as summer turned into fall. I was doing well in my lessons, well enough so that both Twilight Sparkle and Accurate Strike were pleased with my progress. I was not yet up to teleporting when it came to magic, but Twilight was sure it would not be long before she judged me ready to learn. Accurate Strike was proud of my progress in hoof to hoof combat and had begun teaching me battle magic as well as armed combat. I already knew how to wield a quarterstaff and a tonfa, and once I had proved to him my knowledge, he moved me up to swords and knives.
Where I really impressed him was with my skill in throwing knives. Crossbows did not work well, but I was able to plant a throwing knife in a one-inch target at a range of fifty yards more than nine times out of ten. That ratio improved when I brought up senbons, and had a batch made by a local smith. Took a while to hammer out the flaws in my initial plans, but once they were made properly, Accurate Strike commissioned a batch for the Ponyville Guard and had me teach the guard on how to use them.
The record deal went gangbusters right from the start, my initial ten songs setting records (yes, pun intended. I don’t suffer from paronomasia, but I’ll admit it is a near thing) for sales, as well as sparking increased demand for record players. Shortly after the second release, Filthy Rich stopped me in the market and told me that his record player sales had tripled in the past month, thanks to the demand for my music. Lord Topspin was happy as well, giving me a ten-thousand-bit bonus when I went to Canterlot for the third session.
In Ponyville, I kept my promises to the ladies, spending Saturdays helping each of them in rotation, the only exception being Rainbow Dash, because obviously, I’m unable to shove clouds around like she could, or fly. We found other ways to be together, thus keeping a promise to her.
I learned from each of the ladies in turn, Rarity showing me how to run the sewing machine competently, but utterly refusing my help in design, saying that I had no taste at all when it came to attire. I did not dispute her words, because I knew she was right. However, she did let me assemble her designs, to her satisfaction.
Applejack taught me about farming, and I made myself useful to her and her family, helping at Sweet Apple Acres once I learned how to do more around the farm than cause ruin. Apple bucking, however, was RIGHT OUT. After the third broken hoof, it was decided that I should find something else to be good at while working at the farm. I did not argue with Applejack or Big Mac.
Pinkie Pie taught me baking and decorating, which did take a while to learn. I never gave up, and it was not long before I could make and bake a cake from scratch that pleased Pinkie Pie. She looked forward to my occasional ‘help at the bakery’ trips. So did I. However, I did not partake of vanilla cupcakes for a long time. I found the chocolate fudge to be better. Good thing I didn’t put on any weight, a bane of mine since I was young.
Fluttershy taught me a lot about medicine and veterinary care. I knew basic first aid, ever since Cub Scouts, but she taught me far more than I had known. I learned how to be empathic with the animals, getting them to relax while being treated, that they had nothing to fear from me. Fluttershy declared I had passed her basic test by tending a skunk with an injured paw, and not get sprayed. The animals liked me. All but one. Need I name which one? Little snot of a rabbit….
My time with Twilight, when not taking magic lessons, taught me how to organize a library. I was highly organized to begin with, being a stores keeper, but she showed me methods I never would have thought about. She appreciated my assistance, as did Spike, who always had trouble putting books on the higher shelves. Spike knew to call on me if he needed help. Same with Owlowiscius. I just had trouble understanding him. Not that I could give a hoot…
Rainbow Dash, like I said, was a problem on how to help. Fortunately, we found something. She taught me how to chillax, and she found chillaxing with me really settled her down. We found some games we enjoyed together and took it from there. She, however, did not appreciate it when I beat her in bowling. Somehow, I never got around to mentioning the shelf of bowling trophies I had accumulated since high school. I learned to tone it down once I figured out how to throw a fingerless ball accurately.
The school was fun, as well. I learned enough about teaching, and Miss Cheerilee’s method of lesson planning, to be able to substitute for her as needed, if available to do so. Getting certified for that was an experience, one that ranks right up there with being in a Damage Control trainer with all the water pipes on. In winter. Using river water. NOT fun, but doable. That Chancellor Neighsay was a tough stallion to convince…
One project that I wanted to do some ground breaking on was the design of radio. Here, I was sure we could build crystal radio receivers, but making a transmitter proved to be a challenge. I had ideas, Twilight had ideas, but we were having trouble on making it work. That was our ‘if and when’ project, meaning we nibbled at it if and when we had time. She liked the idea in principle, it was making it work that was proving a pain in the rump.
I should mention that I still retained the habit of finding slick spots on the floor, going on a fast slip and having a nice fall. Almost in desperation, Twilight not only taught me some healing spells, but also gave me a charm (which I kept tucked in the flap of my watch) to speed my recovery in case I knocked myself senseless. I could not be called a klutz, but I always found the bad spots on the floor. Doctor Pacer at the clinic gave me a frequent visitor discount card, because I was there at least once every couple of weeks for treatment. I also carried a first aid kit in my saddlebags, both in the big set and the smaller, more casual set. In three months, I replaced the kit twice.
It was on my fourth trip to Canterlot that the first signs of trouble started rising. This trip, Accurate Strike came along with me, because he wanted to visit the Solar Guard headquarters to talk about senbons, which are becoming popular with the Guard in Ponyville. I had an arrangement to take the train up one day, spend the night at the Castle in company with the Princesses, then head to Topspin Productions to make the records, a chore which would take all day to do. I would then spend another night at the Castle before training home to Ponyville the next morning.
The train trip to Canterlot went without a hitch, as did the first night at the Castle, arriving early enough to chat with the Princesses before catching some sleep. They liked my slightly irreverent tone with them, never going to disrespect, but treating them like I treated everypony else, with just a touch more respect. I would never call them anything but ‘Princess’ for Celestia and ‘Luna’ for Luna, but only when we were chatting alone.
The next morning, after breakfast, I’m walking to Topspin Productions when I encountered a crowd of ponies in my path. Skirting the crowd, I spotted four ponies fighting, two of which were City Guard trying to break up the other two. I gave it a glance as I made my way past.
Suddenly, it felt like the Jolly Green Giant’s flashbulb went off in front of my face. Yes, I was wearing my hat and shades, but still, the intensity of the light caused so much pain to my eyes, I screamed loud enough to shred something in my throat before I passed out.
I woke up to darkness as well as an ache in my head that wasn’t severe, but a real annoyance. My throat felt like I was gargling used razor blades, and I became aware of some unusual twinges along my barrel. I let out a grunt of surprise as I came to, which was followed by a voice I knew too well. “Mister Tristan, how do you feel?”
“Doctor Makeswell? Where am I?” I managed to rasp.
“You are back at Canterlot Castle. You were rather viciously attacked when you were near Topspin Productions. First, some pony cast a flash spell, not in front of you, but on your sunglasses directly. After that, you were beaten rather severely before two of the Solar Guard spotted the commotion and investigated. Most of the perpetrators escaped, but one was captured and is being questioned now,” I was told before I felt a straw in my mouth. “Have some of this.”
I sipped, and whatever was in that drink did wonders on my throat. I sipped again, and the razor blades vanished. “Why is it dark in here?” I asked.
“I have your eyes covered right now. They will need to remain covered until tomorrow morning at the least before I remove the bandages. Your eyes were severely burned by the flash attack. They will heal, but you need some time yet,” the doctor said, sounding as if he was delivering a pronouncement from On High. I thought ‘thank you very much, Major Winchester’, as his bedside manner has yet to improve.
“Where are my saddlebags?” I asked.
“From what I have heard, they were found nearby, having been torn off your body. The contents were scattered about. That accounts for the cuts and scrapes on your barrel and legs. They are healing, not to worry.”
“When it comes to healing, you are one of the few ponies I trust to do it right, Doctor Makeswell. I may not like you personally, but professionally, you have my respect,” I told him.
“Thank you for saying so, Tristan. For now, get some more rest. Princess Celestia will be up soon. She will be able to answer many of your unspoken questions.”
“Before you go, what time is it?” I asked.
“Fifteen minutes until five. You have been unconscious for over nine hours. I kept you that way to promote healing. Feel free to yell later, when you can see me, so you can aim your picturesque language in the proper direction. If you need anything, your guard will bring it to you,” Makeswell told me.
“My guard?” I asked.
That’s when I heard Accurate Strike speak. “I will be here until you get the bandages removed. You need anything, say so.”
“Why are you here, Strike?”
I felt him sit down next to the bed, leaning up against it. “I thought you would prefer having a friend here with you. It’s no problem. Just relax,” he told me, taking my hoof in his glow.
“Thank you for being here. Have you let Twilight and the rest know?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. Princess Celestia sent her a message shortly after you were brought in. They arrived here via teleport and have been searching for the ponies behind your beating. Princess Celestia personally questioned the one we captured,” he said in a tone of voice that said I really should not press farther now.
“Any reporters?”
“One photographer happened to be nearby when she saw the flash. She did manage to take some photos of the crowd. I don’t know anything more.”
“This is going to get ugly. Anything I could have done different? I had no warning at all…”
Strike sighed. “Sometimes, even fools get lucky,” he said.
When he said that, a cold chill ran down my body, from my horn down to my tail. “Fools. I’m going to suggest the known compatriots of a certain pony I have become acquainted with should be questioned.”
“Blueblood?” Strike said. “Somepony thought of that hours ago. I have not heard any results yet.”
I groaned and laid back on the bed. “I hate it when I’m right.”
Strike stayed with me, holding my hoof, talking to me for some time before I heard a door open. I could feel Strike stand, then I heard a voice, one of the most wonderful voices I know. “Do sit down, Lieutenant. I won’t be long.”
“Princess Celestia, please forgive me for not bowing to you. Then again, I’m not entirely certain which way you are, so I think I should be given a waiver in this case,” I said in a calm voice, aimed almost precisely opposite to where I am sure she is.
Celestia laughed in a demure fashion. “Keep that up, Tristan. Your good humor despite all that happens is refreshing,” she told me as she took a place next to the bed.
“Do I dare ask about the results of your investigations?”
“You may ask, but I doubt you would like the results,” she said flatly. Immediately, I started sweating some. “I hate it when I’m right,” we said simultaneously.
“The one assaulter that was captured did not know much, only that he was paid a hundred bits by somepony to, and I use his words, ‘mess you up some’. No, he did not know who it was who gave him the money. He knew who you are, and he said he did not cast the spell on you. That we believe, because he is an earth pony. The flash was his cue to move in, along with several others,” Celestia told me.
“What are Twilight and the others doing?” I asked.
“Looking for the unicorn who cast the spell. Every spell can be traced, it’s just that tracking down the caster, if the searcher does not know the caster, can be difficult, especially in a city composed primarily of unicorns,” Celestia said to me.
I did not say anything for a moment or so. “I have some ideas on that score, but I will wait for a more appropriate time. How about tracing Blueblood’s associates?”
“That will take some time, especially because we have no connection to any of them,” Celestia told me before adding a word. “Yet.”
“Princess, thank you for the report. May I ask that when Princess Twilight or any of the others report in, that I be informed?” I asked.
“But of course, Tristan. Now, get some more rest. It speeds healing. Besides, you look ridiculous with that hood on over your bandages,” Celestia said with a slight giggle.
“I’m gonna moiderize Makeswell for this…” I said, pointing to the head wrap, which not only increased Celestia’s giggles, it sparked Accurate Strike into laughing as well. My opinions on Makeswell, both personal and professional, were well known.
“Word will be sent when Twilight Sparkle reports back in, Tristan. I’ll tell Luna before I retire for the night.”
“Sleep well, Princess. May I hope for the same,” I replied, bowing slightly from my position, deliberately aiming away from Celestia.
“May your attitude never change, Tristan. It is so refreshing to me,” Celestia said before departing.
When I heard the door shut, I relaxed, and Strike started to laugh. “Just how do you get away with such things with Princess Celestia?” he asked when he stopped laughing.
“I treat her like I would treat anypony else, Strike,” I told him, relaxing back into the bed. “She may be awesome, but she does not overawe me. I respect her, not worship her, and she knows it. That’s how I can do what I do with her.”
“I envy you, Tristan.”
We chatted for a while longer, then he fed me a light dinner. I found that trying to use telekinesis with my lights out requires a lot more practice than I had on the subject. After some more talk, I dozed off. I woke up when somepony shook me. “Tristan, wake up,” I heard.
“Twilight? What time is it?” I mumbled.
“Almost midnight. You wanted a report when we were done?” Twilight told me.
I came fully awake and turned my face in her direction. “Good news, bad news, or just news?”
“We got a reading on the unicorn who cast the flash spell on you, and we’ve been looking. We followed a lead, got a name, but we can’t find her.”
“Her? Who is she?” I asked.
“Her name is Obsidian Sands. She has a tenuous connection with another unicorn of our acquaintance…” Twilight trailed off bitterly.
“Is that a fact?” I asked. “Why can you not find her?”
“We think she skipped town right after the attack. It is known she can’t teleport yet, so she must have caught a train,” Twilight told me.
“Or walked or caught an airship flight or chariot out. If Blueblood is behind this, he could have had her spirited away right after, to deny evidence. What I want to know is, what are they after?” I asked.
“I think that should be obvious, Tristan. Your phone, which contains all your music. He thought you had it in your bags, while you carry it someplace else, a place only you and one other can access,” Twilight replied, a little irritation creeping into her voice.
“Yes, and if you don’t want something heard…” I said, waiting for Twilight’s follow-up, which arrived right on cue.
“…don’t say it.” I taught her that phrase, and she took it to heart, along with a bunch of other odd turns of phrase I will mention when I damn well feel like doing so, thank you.
“Twilight, get some sleep, and we can follow up tomorrow.”
“What do you mean ‘we’, Kemosabe? You are staying right here until Doctor Makeswell says you can leave, and not one second before!” Twilight snapped back at me, using a line I used on her more than once. It stings when it gets turned around.
My face fell into a frown. “If you insist, Princess. I will stay here, and Accurate Strike will make sure of that. Right, Strike?” I asked.
“Got that right, Tristan. You are not leaving this suite until I get the go-ahead from the doctor.”
“Well, then, how about you help me up and guide me to the john? I gotta go!” I snapped.
“I’ll leave you two to that chore. I’m going to bed. Good night, Tristan,” Twilight said, definitely cranky and tired. I wished her a good night as she walked out, not quite slamming the door. Strike helped me do my business.
“She’s upset, all right,” Strike said as he led me back to bed.
“She is and she’s not going to let me forget it anytime soon. I’ll appeal to her logic later. Right now, she needs sleep, and so do you. I’ll just lie here and fake it.”
Accurate Strike used his glow to get me up and settled into bed. “Fake it? You are going to sleep, not fake it!” he told me firmly.
“Strike, I just woke up! There is no way I’m going to…” I remember protesting before a wave of sleepiness the size of the wave that hit Sumatra on Boxing Day some years back rolled over me and I passed out. I didn’t know then that Strike also had passed Field Medic training and knew some general anesthesia spells. Just when you think you know a pony…
I did not wake up until noon, when Doctor Makeswell was removing the bandages. I could not be sure if he was holding my head up or twisting my head OFF. I let out a squawk of protest, and he told me in his oh-so-cultured way, “I suggest you hold still, Mister Tristan. I’m working to restore your sight. That is worth any small discomfort along the way, yes?”
I could only let out some chokes and gasps until I felt the bandaging come off, and his grip on my head relaxed. “Now, keep your eyes closed,” he commanded in a doctor voice. I heard the curtains closing, then felt something get tossed over me, like a heavy quilt.
“Open your eyes,” Makeswell commanded. Slowly, I did, blinking furiously to get the gunk out that had built up there. I became aware of a dim glow, which grew brighter until I could make out Makeswell’s head under the blanket with me, his horn glowing. “Do you see me now?”
“Yes, I do. Whatever you did worked, for which you have my thanks.” I told him with as much sincerity as I could muster up.
“I’m going to require you to wear dark over-glasses for the next few days, to allow your eyes a chance to heal some more. It’s that or staying in the dark for two more days. Which would you prefer?” Makeswell asked in his snootiest tones.
“Wearing the dark over-glasses, of course. Can they be warded so no more flash spells on the lenses?” I asked.
Makeswell snorted. “Goes to show you have some sense. These are warded like that, and once your eyes heal, bring me your other glasses so I can treat them as well. They are going to have to get more creative next time!”
“I apologize for cutting into your social circuit time, Doctor,” I told him with a little acerbity. “I’ll try not to let it happen again.”
“Good to see you are returning to the disturbed state you call normal, Tristan,” he replied in similar tones. “Shut your eyes, I will remove the blanket and fit the over-glasses on you. Then you may look around.”
“Sounds like a plan, Doctor,” I said as I complied with his orders. We have a love-hate relationship, as I said earlier. We share respect of each other skills, but personally, we can’t stand each other, and do not hide that fact. The blanket was removed, and I felt something slip over my head and settle into place.
When told, I opened my eyes. I could see perfectly through the over-glasses, but the light I saw was dimmer than I knew it should have been, but without the darkening tinted lenses would give. “A little different, yes?” Makeswell said.
“I should say so,” I commented as I got out of bed and headed to a mirror. At first glance, I could not see anything over my eyes, then I realized there were clear half-globes attached to a strap the same color as my fur, rendering it almost unnoticeable. The protective lenses were almost invisible at first glance.
I nodded at my image, impressed. “Not bad at all, Makeswell. I can hardly tell they are there.”
“That is the point, yes? Credit me with a little bit of sense.”
“I will, for now. I’m still waiting on the check for the rest of your sense.”
Makeswell let out a snort. “It’s a good thing we respect each other, Tristan, or I might get a bit upset with you.”
“With your professional demeanor? I highly doubt you ever get upset with a patient while you are treating them,” I said back to him.
“It’s when I’m NOT treating you that you should worry, Tristan.”
“Why do you think we never meet socially unless someone is around? I’m not going to give you a chance!” I laughed.
Makeswell smiled at that line. “I never think you’re dumb, Tristan. You just think different than I do. Must be why the Princesses like you so much.”
“I’ve said this before, I treat them with respect, not awe. They are wonderful ladies I am honored to call my friends. Maybe someday we can reach that stage, you and me,” I said, turning to look at Makeswell.
“In your dreams,” he snorted.
“That’s where I practice, Makeswell. Thank you for the glasses, and rest assured I will wear them until you can treat the other sets,” I told the bigger unicorn. With the lenses, only brightness was dimmed, not the colors.
“You are quite welcome, Tristan. Do try to be careful, will you? This time, you had a good reason to need treatment. Other times, not so much,” he said snootily before departing.
“You let him have the last word?” Strike asked.
“This time, he earned it. Now, shall we go and raid the Royal Kitchens?” I said, making my slightly wobbly way out of the room. Being in bed for over a day, it takes a few minutes to get steady again on your feet. Well, it does for me…
Over lunch, we got an update on the search for Obsidian Sands, which essentially boiled down to she had skipped town without leaving a trail. The news was irritating, but not unexpected. I know of ways to skip town without leaving traces, it all depends on the amount of effort one wants to put into it. After lunch, Strike and I went out, first to replace my casual saddlebags, in dark blue this time instead of red, then off to Topspin’s for a reschedule.
Topspin was glad I had recovered from the attack and asked where my trademark sunglasses are. I told him I am wearing what the doctor gave me, and I will wear them until he says I could go back to normal.
We rescheduled our session for the next day, but I wanted to record some tracks not for general release, but to make some for a specific pony, a friend named Vinyl Scratch. They were not tunes I would release to the public, but some tracks I knew she would enjoy, having played them for her and getting her enthusiastic approval. I think it was her throwing herself at my hooves and begging, but I’m not sure. I also had two tracks cut for her roomie, Octavia. I did not have much classical that was not organ, but I found what I had and printed them off.
With Strike by my side, walking through the city became far less worrisome. Strike wore his undress uniform, which pretty much announced the fact ‘do not mess with this pony, you may not live to regret it’. Strike got a good laugh when I told him my thoughts. “Not too far from the truth,” he said.
That night, I dined with the Princesses, Strike, Twilight and the ladies. They did not have much to report, having looked for the ponies pictured in the few photos from the scene of the attack but coming up completely empty-hoofed. Obsidian Sands also vanished like a will-o-the-wisp. I announced that my next recording session is rescheduled for the next day, and that I would keep up my routine. “After all, if I let our opposition dictate my patterns, they win. No, I’m going to be me, no matter what.” I declared.
“It is to be hoped you make some changes in your routine, so as not to be predictable,” Luna said in cautionary tones.
“I shall endeavor to be predictably unpredictable, Princess. Let them make the next move. Every attempt leaves more clues to trace the perpetrators,” I said.
“With Captain Accurate Strike as your personal guard, you will be much safer,” Celestia declared.
Strike looked like he had been slapped across the face. “Princess, I’m just a lieutenant,” he said.
“No longer. You are now a captain, in charge of Tristan’s security. You may draft whatever resources you think are necessary to safeguard Tristan. He and his music are positive forces for change, and we wish to keep it that way,” Celestia said, looking to her fellow alicorns in the room and getting slow nods of confirmation.
“So, you are going from the Terror Trainer to my personal demon, eh?” I quipped. “I’ll struggle to cope with the load.”
Strike mock-glared across the table. “Got that right, you independent cuss! I’ll shackle you right proper!” he called back.
I started humming a tune as I ate some more of the dinner. “Just what is that tune?” Rarity asked. She has the best musical sense of the six.
“A song entitled ‘Shackles and Chains’, Rarity. Remind me and I will play it for you sometime. I just thought the title appropriate,” I told her casually, to laughter around the table.
“Now will be a good time, Tristan,” Celestia suggested.
“Be right back. Pardon me,” I said, leaving the table and going to where nopony could see me. Then and only then did I retrieve my phone, as per my promise to Pinkie that nopony would ever see me do so, until she said I had the trick down well enough to do so in front of witnesses. A small price to pay for the knowledge.
When I came out, I announced, “The title is appropriate, but the song is about a bad love affair,” before playing the song. When it ended, Celestia told us, “There is SOME appropriateness, Tristan. Only, it is not Accurate Strike, it is our suspected opponents who are trying to shackle and chain you.”
“Point made, Princess. It’s a habit of mine, that being certain situations will remind me of song titles, even though the lyrics do not match the situations,” I said in reply.
“It’s not a bad habit,” Applejack said. “Have you decided which songs you are going to do for us?”
“I’m being very careful on that, Applejack. I want the song to be a true representation of my feelings for you all. I only have a selection of five hundred eighty-five songs on my playlist, so I have to winnow with care. The title may be right, but the song may be wrong,” I said in all sincerity.
“I liked some of what you were singing while working at Sweet Apple Acres,” was her answer.
“Me, too, when you were with the animals,” Fluttershy piped up.
“Fluttershy, the song I have in mind for you is not one I have recorded, all I can do is try to remember it as much as I can. It has been years since I last heard it,” I said. “If somehow, I can get my memory enhanced, and learn to write music, I could try to write it out and have someone perform it.”
I saw a glance fly around the table. I knew then I was in for something. “Tristan, I think I have something in mind. When I get back to Ponyville, I will research the spell,” Twilight said.
“Now I know I’m in for it…” I muttered, to laughter from the group.
Bright and early the next day, Accurate Strike and I went to Topspin’s place and did our ten selections for the month, leaving with a set of samples and a check for more bits than I expected. “A bonus for high sales, and with Hearthswarming coming, sales can only go higher,” the earth pony told me when he gave me the check. I thanked him profusely, thinking what I could do with the unexpected dividend. I stowed the check, folding and tucking it under the protective cover of my phone before putting them away.
Strike and I expected to train home to Ponyville the next day, but Princess Luna had a surprise waiting for us. Our bags were already packed, and we were told that she had arranged for an air chariot ride back to Ponyville, pulled by two of her strongest Lunar Guard thestrals, and accompanied by two more. Now, I knew of thestrals, but I don’t know any very well. This was going to change tonight.
We were told the four have been assigned to Accurate Strike to be part of my guard force, along with four from the Solar Guard. The troops will be staying at the Ponyville Barracks until better accommodations were found. “The Princesses consider you a valuable commodity, Tristan,” the leader of the group, Lieutenant Black Sky, told us. “We were willing to accept the posting, because we like what we have heard so far of your music.”
“That’s right! It really opens up something inside me!” said one of the chariot pullers, Inky Spot. She is a younger thestral, only recently attached to the Lunar Guard. She had a good voice, and I told her so. I think she blushed, but at night, who can tell?
“We were all picked because we have some musical talent, Tristan,” Black Sky said. “We may not be professionals, but we know what we are doing. The Solar Guard ponies will also have some talent. One idea that has been floated is touring Equestria as a live band, performing some of your music, while checking for trouble.”
“Who posited that idea?” I asked.
“The Princesses, who else?” Black Sky replied.
I turned in my seat and looked at Accurate Strike. “Ever get the feeling you’re being manipulated, Strike?” I asked him.
“Breaks of the business and the price of fame, Tristan.”
The next day was busy for me, what with meeting the rest of the guard force, four more ponies from the Solar Guard (two pegasi, a unicorn and an earth pony), getting to know the thestrals better, and deciding with Captain Strike on how best to use the force to protect me. That lasted from rooster crow to sometime before lunch, when the thestrals caught some sleep until sunset. Lunchtime, I ran the records over to Vinyl Scratch and Octavia, because I knew Vinyl would want to use them that night at her show. A quick stop at the hamburger stand, then to the school to drop off their records, say hello to the kids, and reassure them that I will recover. Do you know what it is like to be gang-hugged by a whole class of eager colts and fillies? I know now…
Afternoon was spent with Twilight, Strike and I going over plans with her, and seeing if she had some other ideas on how to use the guard force. While I knew the earth pony, a stallion called Low Note, was a good musician, we found out that he could also write music. That sparked an idea in my head, to have him do sheet music of the phone songs. Another income stream, yes?
That evening, I met with the entire guard force again, this time to hash out earlier ideas. Low Note was willing to write out the music, but we limited that to only the records in production. Otherwise, he would need possession of the phone, and there was absolutely no way I was going to let it out of my hooves, nor reveal the secret of where it was hidden.
I brought in a record player and a stack of records, and we all sat around in the barracks, listening to the music and debating on just how we would form a cover band. I told them all that I felt uncomfortable being the lead singer, but that I would try my best. Black Sky convinced me that we could pull it off, once they learned the music and decided on their roles. That evening also convinced me that all of them could be trusted, to a point. While Accurate Strike knew that I hid the phone through some sort of Pinkie Pie magic, not even he knew HOW it was done or WHERE it is at any given time. His idea, not mine.
I worked hard on getting along with my guard force, because my life may possibly depend on these ponies. I deliberately left details on HOW I was to be warded up to Accurate Strike. The less I knew about how, the less I could possibly give the game away. While I knew them, and they knew me, how they worked was something I asked not to know. To that end, I started training on how to ignore them in public when they were on duty. The only known guard is Captain Strike, the rest I officially ignored. Well, tried to, at least.
Makeswell himself came out to Ponyville a few days later, to give me an examination. He pronounced my eyes had fully recovered from the flash attack and brought me several pairs of new reinforced sunglasses to wear. I accepted them with good grace while asking if I could keep the pair I had, because they worked so well. Mister pompous doctor took me at my word and let me keep the pair he had first made. Hey, they matched my fur, and they were comfortable.
As time went on, getting closer to Hearthswarming, not only did my fame and fortune increase, the weather grew colder. Living in Connecticut for almost thirty years, on the coast, I was used to snow, but the cold was freakish to me. It’s always warmer near the coast, the water not cooling as much as the land. Ponyville, even with all its attractions, was NOT on the coast. I took to wearing sweaters, a scarf and knee-high boots along with my hat and saddlebags when I went outside. The guards were more accustomed to the cold, especially the pegasi and thestrals. The one unicorn member of the guard force, Silver Strings, suffered as much as I did, being originally from Manehattan.
One thing we did is put a band together. The thestrals were all accomplished musicians, the others slightly less so. Low Note kept himself occupied making sheet music of the already transcribed records, earning me even more bits, which I must hasten to add I did share with my guard force. We practiced several nights a week, getting comfortable with each other and the music.
We all decided to make our debut on the day before Hearthswarming, in Town Hall. That last week was a rush for all of us, working hard on rehearsals as well as shopping. All the guard force but Accurate Strike will have Hearthswarming and the next two days off, to be with their families. Let me tell you, shopping was a real pain in the tail end, but I got mine done with a day to spare.
The performance, I am happy to say, went over better than anypony ever expected. We did ten songs in total, and the applause was warm enough to warm a windigo’s heart, if they had any. We were swarmed over by adoring townsfolk, under the watchful eye of my guardians. Fortunately, nothing untoward happened in the town hall, and we all made it to our respective homes afterward without incident.
Hearthswarming Day, I exchanged gifts with my friends, safely inside the castle. Everypony was appreciative of their gifts, while I liked the small gifts I was given. Twilight, however, saved the biggest surprise for last. I was aware of some construction near the castle, but I had paid it little heed. Construction is going on all over Ponyville, and this was just another build, or so I thought.
Spike brought over to me a brightly wrapped small box, with a card that read ‘To Tristan, from all of us at Friendship Castle’. Intrigued, I carefully opened the box, not wanting to ruin the beautiful wrapping. Inside I found a folded paper and a set of keys. “Keys? You bought me a new car?” I joked.
“Read the paper, Tristan! It’s awesome!” Rainbow Dash called out, trying not to do loops in the air.
I unfolded the paper, to read the deed to a house here in Ponyville, transferring title of said house to me until ‘such time as I decide to relinquish ownership’. “A house? Where?” I said with a squawk of surprise.
“It’s the gray one at the edge of the palace green, Tristan!” Pinkie Pie squealed in excitement as she bounced around the room.
“The one I have seen being built for the past however long?” I asked, feeling a little shell-shocked.
“Oh, yes, Tristan! We all helped in building it. Shall we go over to see it?” Rarity suggested.
I had to let out a bit of a laugh. “Twilight, I didn’t know you were this eager to get rid of me!”
Twilight laughed at that line. “No, Tristan, it’s that I know that you have had a yearning for both privacy as well as independence. Now, you have a house of your own to live in. Peace, quiet, and room enough for you, Accurate Strike, and part of your guard force, if necessary. So, shall we go see?”
“Yes, let us go and see,” I said with a gallant bow and gesture, which led to a skid and fall. This time, I did not knock myself out, just rattled my brains some. We all dressed for the cold and tromped through the snow that had fallen overnight to the little gray house on the west side of the castle. MY little gray home to the west.
With a bit of a shiver, enough to make the keys jingle, I unlocked the front door and led the way in. My first sight is the kitchen, built to an open plan, and fully stocked with appliances and, after a cabinet check, food. The oven was warm, too, because Spike had slipped over earlier to prepare the traditional Hearthswarming feast. The furnishings on the main floor were sparse, yet the décor was fabulous, led, as I had surmised, by Rarity. There was also a large closet and a bath on the main floor.
Upstairs we found a master suite for me (bedroom, bath and den), a smaller one for Accurate Strike (with his gear already inside), two smaller bedrooms and a shared bath for them, as well as access to the attic, which a look showed to be well-insulated. Fireplaces were common in the bedrooms as well as the main room, well stocked with wood, ready to be lit.
The real surprise was downstairs. In addition to several small rooms, one of which contained a hot tub big enough for four ponies, there is a large room that contained the band’s instruments, along with a note signed by all the members of the guard force, wishing me a Happy Hearthswarming and we would meet again in a few days. I sent an accusatory glare at Accurate Strike. “Going behind my back, eh?” I snarled, but with a grin tickling the corners of my mouth.
“Well, if I can’t go behind your back, who can?” Strike replied. “It’s my job, remember?”
I first hugged Strike, then went around and gave everypony else a warm hug and a chaste kiss, for Hearthswarming, except Spike, of course. “You’re all grade-A stinkers, but, by all that’s holy, you’re MY kind of stinkers!” I said to them when I was done, my voice breaking some in sheer joy.
“Tomorrow, Twilight or I will run you through the security measures we have installed here. Today is a holiday and let us treat it as such. Deal?” Strike said after the hug fest.
“Deal,” I agreed, nodding. Such joy should not be dampened by threats, at least not right away.
“Let’s go upstairs and have something to eat, okay?” Spike suggested. We did, the main floor having more than enough room for the ten of us, and a most convivial time was had by all. After dinner, Strike and I collected my belongings from the castle and settled in at the house. There is a sense of pride of moving in to your own home, something I have never really done before, instead moving into new apartments every four or five years. Besides, housing prices in Connecticut are steep, and I, well, was too damn cheap to want to spring for a house.
The next day, early in the morning, Strike and I went through the security measures that I had to know about. There is a small maze of secret passages in the house, hidden between the walls, which led to all floors of the house and the attic. There is a spell, attuned to myself and Strike, that upon utterance of a key phrase, will allow us, and anypony with us, into the passages. These fed into an underground passage to Twilight’s castle and escape. I chose for my pass phrase a line from an old story I had read years before, that had stuck with me, that no pony in Equestria should be able to figure out. ‘Hid the Bell with a Blot, she did’ was the phrase.
In my den is a large safe, with a combination being a spell Strike taught me. That safe is an open one, being patently obvious. The INobvious safe is elsewhere, disguised as something else. Smaller, but much more secure. “I wish we didn’t have to take these precautions,” I said to Strike after the full tour.
“Same here, but, better to have them and not need them, rather than the other way round,” was his reply. I could only nod in agreement.
We did that chore in the early morning, because later in the day, visitors will come. A Ponyville tradition with new houses is to have the local version of the Welcome Wagon come around, along with reporters. I did not want to try to hide much from the residents of Ponyville, because in the months since my arrival, they have been so hospitable to me, truly good neighbors.
Neighbors and reporters queued up after breakfast, and went on most of the day. Every student at the school dropped by, with cards and gifts, along with other neighbors and friends. I had my picture taken so many times, I was glad for my dark glasses!
Later in the day, I had reporters come by from the nearby cities, Canterlot, Manehattan, Baltimare, Trottingham and Hoofington, to be precise. Somehow, I managed to keep my patience with repetitive questions. I don’t know how, but I did.
The last interview, held just after dinner, is with the Hoofington contingent. I settled in for the questioning and photo op, when at the flash of the camera, I felt a spell taking effect, one I was unfamiliar with. The spell knocked me out before I could ward myself.
I woke up to find the two reporters (an earth pony writer and a unicorn photographer) bound and gagged, with Twilight, Starlight, Strike and Spike surrounding them. “What the hell happened?” I asked when I could.
“These two had a stun spell rigged to the flashbulb, one the reporter was warded from. They started tearing apart the house, looking for your music box. Fortunately, there are some alarms I have not mentioned to you, which brought Twilight and friends running here when the alarm went off. I felt the stun spell go off from upstairs, and I met the unicorn on the stairs. He didn’t get far after that,” Strike told me.
“While I teleported in here, saw you stunned, and the reporter frisking you thoroughly,” Starlight Glimmer said. “I gave her a knockout spell of my own while she looked at me in stunned surprise.”
“What do you plan on doing with them?” I asked, shaking my head to clear it of the stun shock.
“First, send a letter to the Princesses. Next, question them. Thoroughly. I’m sure Princess Celestia will take an interest in the proceedings,” Twilight said with a hint of bitterness.
I had an idea come to mind. “How about sending a telegram to the Hoofington Post, to see if these two are actually reporters? They showed me their credentials, but I would not know a real set from a fake one.” I suggested.
“Good idea. Once we get these two into a cell, I’ll do that,” Twilight told me.
“Separate cells, in case they get any ideas,” Strike added.
“I can do that. You’re the security specialist, not me,” Twilight said before disappearing with the two perpetrators.
Starlight then asked, “Are you going to be all right, Tristan?”
I nodded. “I should be, with Accurate Strike here. Better flip over the welcome mat. I doubt I will want to do any more interviews tonight.”
“Mind if I stay here and fix you something?” Spike asked. “I don’t think you want to cook any more today.”
“An offer gratefully accepted, Spike. We have a lot of edible housewarming gifts, so go see what you can do with them. We trust you.” I told the little dragon, who grinned wide as he raced to the kitchen.
“Want to stick about for afters, Starlight?” I asked.
“That would be a good idea. I know Strike will want to go interview the reporters, and I think you would not want to be alone,” was her reply. I nodded in agreement as I walked over to the liquor cabinet, the one in the main room, not the one in my den.
“Would you like a cider, Starlight? I will have a slug of the Eyrish meself. Strike, I’ll save you a slug. You might need it after the questioning,” I told my friend. Strike just nodded as he put on a scarf and a hat before heading out.
“I’ll take an Eyrish, Tristan.” Starlight told me. I broke out a bottle of Eyrish whiskey and two glasses, pouring two shots with a rather shaky glow.
“To our combined health, Starlight,” I toasted before tossing down the shot in one gulp. Yes, I quit drinking a long time ago, but now, I needed one! Starlight and Spike stayed with me in the house through dinner and after, until Strike and Twilight returned with the news.
It turns out the two were not reporters, but were connected to Brandywine Records, a production company in Hoofington who was losing sales to Topspin, whom I had given exclusive rights to. Exhaustive questioning could not pin Prince Blueblood directly to this, it appearing that this came from the two overhearing Brandywine complaining about poor sales compared to Topspin. Yes, Blueblood had ties to Brandywine, but so did a lot of other high-ranking ponies. Inquiries were ongoing to find out when and if Brandywine and Blueblood had met since my arrival. After the discussion, and Twilight and company’s return to the castle, Strike and I had a chat, where I downed two more shots of Eyrish, neat. He did not argue and helped me to bed afterwards.
When I woke up, I found that Strike had set out everything needed to make my favorite breakfast, pancakes and eggs with toast. I hasten to add he did not MAKE breakfast, that being my job. Strike has the cooking skills of a paralyzed newt. I made enough for both of us before pulling on the dinner bell rope, Strike being upstairs while I cooked.
“Feeling better now?” he asked when he got downstairs.
“I’m still scared. We can’t think of everything.” I said as he sat down.
“No, we can’t. We just have to be better than the rest when it comes to defense to their offense. Your music box is valuable to those who want it,” he told me as he buttered his toast.
When he said that, an idea hit me between the eyes with the force of a solar flare. “When you get that look on your face, I feel the urge to get to minimum safe distance. Yakyakistan should be about right,” Strike said in a worried tone.
“I’m going to need Twilight on this, but I do have an idea. What if we made duplicates of the phone, duplicates that can be tracked if stolen? After all, there are some things about it I have not told anypony, like how to activate it. You have to enter a code, and if you enter the wrong code five times, it wipes the phone clean,” I told my security captain.
“So, if they get their hooves on it, they can’t use it. It will only deny you access to the recordings.”
“That it would. Fortunately, I have backups, I think. I need to ask somepony a few questions before I can truly relax,” I said, finishing my breakfast.
“Who, if I may ask?”
“Time Turner. When he gave me the charger, he said he had taken a copy of my playlists. How he did that, I don’t know. I’m just telling you what he said to me.”
“Who else knows this?” Strike asked.
“Other than Time Turner, myself, Twilight, Starlight, and now you, nopony. Like I say, the chances of a secret being blown is the square of the number of ponies that know it,” I told my friend.
“You do have a point. Let’s finish, clean up and go pay Time Turner a visit. If we can settle that question, it would make us all rest easier.”
We did just that, cleaning up after ourselves before heading to the clock shop, bundling up against the cold. I knew damn well that the weather here is on a schedule, and Rainbow Dash does a very good job in the Ponyville area, but does it have to be so damned nose hurting COLD!
At the clock shop, which was open for business, Time Turner readily answered my questions. Yes, he has a copy of all my files, and he would be willing to provide me a copy IF AND ONLY IF it was necessary before I ran out of songs. He knew about the attempted theft last night, how he knew he didn’t explain, and made me an offer.
“I like you and your music. I find it relaxing. Let me make a gift to you, copies of your phone that will look and act like the real thing but will send out a distress call if it is handled by anyone but you or those you designate to carry one. Will four be sufficient?” he asked.
Accurate Strike and I both stared at Time Turner, our mouths hanging open in shock. “how did you know that?” Strike managed to croak out. “We just came up with the idea twenty minutes ago!”
“Oh, I thought of it while I was making the power supply. I’ve just been waiting for you to say something. A little bit slow off the mark, eh?” Time Turner said with a rather charming smile, which did nothing for me other than increasing the certainty that I knew him from SOMEWHERE.
Dumbly, I just nodded as he turned and reached into the cabinet behind him. He pulled out a smallish box and set it on the counter. “There will be a bit of a delay before an alarm is sent. Differentiation by intention and all that,” he said as he wrapped the box up in stout brown paper. “No charge for this. Call it a timely Hearthswarming gift, okay? Now, head home and settle down. We are all on your side here in Ponyville, Tristan. No sense giving yourself an ulcer about what you cannot control, right? Besides, I don’t have any Pepto-Bismol. Go on, see you later! Allons-y!” he said as he ushered us out of the clock shop, shutting the door firmly, the box finding itself in my saddlebag.
“Just what is this Pepto-Bismol he mentioned?” Strike asked me as we headed home.
“A medication back from my home, that is good for soothing upset stomachs,” I said absently before stopping dead in my tracks, eyes wide, pupils pinpoints. I turned to look at the clock shop, blinking.
“Tristan? Are you all right?” Strike asked.
“How did he know?” I whispered. “I forgot to ask him how he knew my passcode…”
“Let’s go home. You look like you need another shot and a hot soak.” Numbly, I let him lead me home. Fortunately, we did not have many visitors that day. I made it through the visits, my mind gradually losing its shock account balance.
The guard force started returning that evening, the night crew flying in after sunset. All of them stopped by the house before heading to the barracks. They were all in on the secret of the building and were pleased to find out my reaction to finding it the way it is.
The next day, I kept myself busy by going through the house and finding out what I needed to get to truly make my house a home. I went through the Hearthswarming gifts, using some for house décor, but noting what I still wanted to get, like chairs, pads, and a warmer blanket for my bed! I’m not used to using fireplaces that burned wood, and the house lacks central heating, dammit! That kept me busy in the morning, and in the afternoon, I went shopping, the bane of any male’s existence.
Thanks to some incredible good fortune, Silver Strings had returned early that morning, and volunteered to go shopping with me. I didn’t mind, she was a pleasant enough mare, and she really knew how to play guitar, bass and harp. She has been teaching me bass, but progress is slow on it. Not because I was inept at it, we just did not have that much time to practice.
Out we went, picking up this, that, and the other thing and either having it delivered to the house or carrying it ourselves. Shopping with her was indeed pleasant, she filling me in on her home leave, spending Hearthswarming with her parents and sisters in Manehattan. The only thing she hated about returning to Ponyville was the blasted cold!
Rather than cook dinner, or make Silver Strings eat at the mess hall, I asked her and Strike if they wanted dinner at the hayburger stand. Not that I felt particularly lazy, I wanted to get warm! Strike likes the house a bit cooler than I do, and he hadn’t really stoked the fires while I was out. So, after getting the fireplaces going, we went to dine. Strike brought Strings up to speed on what had happened the day before, and she showed her shock at the news. “I’m going to have to come up with some sort of protective charm for you, Tristan. We can’t be around you all the time, and the fools will never stop trying!” she snapped.
“Chill down, Strings. It all worked out, thanks to forethought on Strike’s part. Think you can come up with a charm against paralysis or stunning?” I asked.
She just gave me a disgusted look as Strike told me, “Tristan, Silver Strings is merely one of the best unicorn mages in the Solar Guard. While not as good as Princess Twilight, if she says she can make a charm for you, I assure you she can.”
I had the grace to look sheepish, especially with a fry hanging out of my mouth. I slurped it up before speaking. “I apologize, Strings. I did not know. I have been encouraged not to go into your backgrounds, just accept what I see and find out about you.”
Silver String’s frown turned to a smile. “I accept your apology, Tristan. Your unfailing manners led me to take the job and stay with it. I like you a lot, and I know I can trust your word in matters,” she told me.
“Thank you, Strings,” I said before taking a bite out of my hayburger. These things are addictive!
We spent mornings in rehearsals down in the basement, that being the best time for all to be awake and ready. Twilight, Starlight and Strike came up with a way to ‘record’ my memories on a crystal and play it back for Low Note to ‘hear’ and transcribe. It also came with a memory booster, so I can remember the complete songs, not just fragments. It was useful, but it gave both me and Low Note headaches while using it, so we kept its use to a minimum. I did recover the one song I wanted to do for Fluttershy, the ‘Talk to the Animals’ song from ‘Doctor Doolittle’. We practiced that song about an hour a day until we got it down to my satisfaction.
Low Note also kept busy writing music, cranking out about two songs a week. He also taught me how to read the music properly, how to see the page, yet only notice what I needed to notice, ignoring the rest. I wish I had a music teacher like him back in junior high- I may have stayed with instruments, rather than relegating it to a hobby.
After Hearthswarming, all of us were invited to Canterlot Castle for what can best be described as a Command Performance. The princesses wanted to hear our music live, not off a record. We timed the trip to combine it with a stop at Topspin Productions, not only to drop off the monthly ten, but to do the ‘Talk to the Animals’ song for Fluttershy. Setting up was tedious, and it did take much of the afternoon to record, what with Topspin being a perfectionist, but that’s why he is tops in the music field. We got the song done and pressed, but only a dozen copies. I did not feel ready to release this yet, and this is special, my gift to Fluttershy.
That evening, at the castle, I presented Fluttershy with the recording. I have never seen the little pegasus more excited in my days in Equestria than when I put the record in her hooves. Her reaction to the first play was beyond description. If pure ecstasy could be personified, I saw it right there. I never saw a thestral blush before, but all four in the band did at Fluttershy’s thank you.
Next day, I walked to Topspin’s with Strike and Low Note as escorts to do the ten per month obligation. We were unmolested, but there were a couple of nasty looks from some potential ne’er-do-wells, which we noted down, but did nothing about. Looks were just fine. Thoughts are just fine. Actions can have consequences.
The Command Performance is being held in the Castle, with a number of notables attending, including Blueblood and his clique. We really had no way to keep them out, because nothing could be proven to implicate any of them. The band had spent much of the day doing setups while I was at the studio, so we could be ready for the after dinner show.
The performance was all we had hoped it to be, doing fifteen songs live and in pony. The applause was thunderous after every song, the Princesses radiating approval from their box seat. In this case, yes, ALL the Princesses were there, including Princess Cadance, whom I have heard about, but never met. Didn’t have any cause to go to the Crystal Empire.
Once the show was done, we all cleaned up and changed before heading out to mix and mingle. When somepony tried to thank me, I deflected the praise to the band. After all, without them, I would not be worth much on my own, right?
Blueblood worked his way over to me late in the party. “Your music does have its attractions, but I still intend that you will lose the bet,” he said haughtily.
“Gee, I don’t know, Blueblood, it looks like you’re way behind already. Do take a look at the sales figures being recorded at the First Canterlot Bank and tell me I’m not having a positive effect on society,” I told him, not backing down from his stare.
“I am not responsible for the foolishness of the common pony, Tristan. You can be assured of losing, because I always win.” Blueblood sniffed.
“Not this time, dandy,” I said to his face before turning and walking away, leaving him spluttering.
I had not gone ten paces when I heard, “Nice move, Tristan. Put him in his place, yes?” It was a voice I was not familiar with. Turning to look, I saw Princess Cadance there looking at me, smiling. How did I know it was Princess Cadance? Simple- it was an alicorn I had not seen before. Knowing there are only four alicorns, and I was friends with three, that sort of narrowed the field. Her regalia closed the deal.
“I do try, Princess. I try to get along with every pony I meet, but he seems determined to put me down beneath his hooves. I refuse to allow it. Can you blame me?” I said in reply, bowing slightly.
“Not in the slightest, Tristan. My compliments to you and your band. Such music was unknown until you came along. I have all your music that has made it to the Crystal Empire so far,” she said to me.
“Well, while here in Canterlot, you can catch up with what you don’t have. Want an autographed copy?” I asked her, combining eagerness, innocence, and admiration all at once, or so I hoped.
“That would be delightful! Which song will it be?”
“I don’t know, Princess. I have yet to pull one out of a box. I have to get the whole band to sign it before me, because without them, I will be nothing,” I said gallantly.
“As you desire, Tristan. Also, you will be nothing without a special somepony in your life. You have one near you. Don’t ignore her. I will be leaving in an hour. Will you have the record by then?”
“Yes, Princess. It should not take that long,” I told her before moving out of the ballroom, going to where I knew the Princesses kept the records, Inky Spot trailing me.
“I wonder what Princess Cadance meant about a special somepony,” she said to me as I dug up a record.
I shrugged. “Damned if I know. Who would want to hook up to somepony like me? I’m always under a microscope, as well as being in somepony’s crosshairs. Nopony would be that foolish,” I said, heading out of the storage room.
Inky Spot let out a small giggle as we walked back to the ballroom. “I would not be that sure, Tristan…”
“Why do you say that, Inky?”
“Well, she IS the Alicorn of Love…” she said as we got back to the ballroom. I gathered the band to autograph the record’s dust jacket, and we, as a group, presented the disc to Princess Cadance, who accepted the gift in a matter befitting a Princess. I noticed her gaze lingered on Silver Strings and I.
“My blessings be on you all for your fine music,” she said to us, tucking the record under a wing. We all bowed to her, then the formality vanished and we chatted for a while, not with a princess, but with a fan. A refreshing change, for all involved.
It was not until we got back to our suite of rooms when Strike approached me, his phone copy in his glow. “Plan A is in effect,” he said bluntly.
“Do you know who lifted it?” I asked, checking my pockets. Sure enough, my decoy phone is missing.
‘That’s your job,” Strike told me. “You know how to work it, not me.”
I took his dummy in my glow and put in the access code, which, I hasten to add, is NOT the real access code. The display lit up, and I called up the data for Decoy One. It showed when the phone was taken, where it currently is, and the status of traps, currently quiescent. I tried the camera function, but all I saw was black, and the audio did not tell us much of anything, either. “Captain Strike, I need first a map of the Castle, then of Canterlot. After that, assemble the band. Alert the Solar and Lunar guards. Once the trap has been sprung, we shall pounce.”
“Yes, sir!” he said, saluting before heading out. Brave pony, he is, galloping inside the castle. If I tried that, I would be wall pizza at the first turn. I paid attention to the screen. It showed slow movement, like it is being carried by a walking pony. I had vector description of its location, but Google Maps never made it out to Canterlot, so I have to wait on paper maps of the area. While I comprehended navigation, I’m not what you call practiced at it. I was a stores keeper, not a quartermaster!
When Accurate Strike returned with the maps and a representative of the Solar and Lunar Guards, the rest of my guardians had gathered with me in the sitting area of the suite. Vectorex, the other female thestral in my group, took the maps and dummy phone two, putting them on the coffee table. She looked back and forth for half a minute, then pointed to the city map. “There it is. What you would call the high-rent district of Canterlot. Nobles live there, nobles high up the list,” she reported.
“Someone like Prince Blue balls?” I asked.
Vectorex pointed to another part of the map. “No, he lives over here. Once it stops, we can get a better fix.”
The captain of the Lunar Guard, a senior thestral named Bold Stroke, looked at the map and at the phone. “I can have a detachment shadowing any movement and report in to me,” she said in her commanding voice, which got my attention, for sure. How could a female thestral have such a voice?
I nodded. “Sounds like a plan to me. They have not tried anything with it, so we’re safe for now. Once they input the wrong code, they are in a rude surprise,” I said.
“What sort of rude surprise?” Bold Stroke asked.
“The device will detonate, spreading a quantity of fluorescent dye over everypony and everything within twelve feet. INDELIBLE fluorescent dye. The only way to remove it is with a counter spell that I don’t know. The Princesses do.”
Bold Stroke chuckled, something that made the thestral members of the band look at her in surprise. “Oh, I like that! That is so sneaky!”
“I have to give credit to the inventor. I like it too,” I said as I watched the vector numbers change on dummy two. Looking back and forth from the map to the dummy, I started to figure out where dummy one is. Does not help much when you’re not familiar with the city OR vectors in a strange place. Bold Stroke left to issue orders. I really must get with Twilight and work some more on my radio idea…
Within forty-five minutes, we had surveillance in place, a squad of thestrals circling in the darkness over the heads of a small knot of ponies walking along a prosperous boulevard. The knot was seen entering an upscale apartment dwelling, where they took station on neighboring rooftops, watching all sides.
In our command center, a dozen ponies were trying to watch a four and half inch screen. Never comfortable. Then again, I never like being in a crowd. I was watching when a light glowed on the screen of dummy two, which told us we had an image. Hurriedly, I activated the video feature.
We all saw a group of ponies, mostly unicorns with an earth pony in the mix. The picture only lasted a few seconds before it turned off, the last sight being of a unicorn who I knew but could not put a name to. “Bold Stroke, alert your troops, the trap has been sprung. Look for fluorescent pink ponies trying to make an escape. Also do what you need to do to get inside and find out which room they tripped the phone at,” I said, but the thestral commander had started acting before I finished, taking off and out to do the deeds herself.
“Who wants to come with me to let Princess Luna know what’s been going on?” I asked sarcastically. Just as I expected, everypony in my guard force said they would. Good ponies, all of them. “Well, let’s go secure an audience, shall we?”
We went into the throne room in wedge formation, with myself at the point, Silver Strings and Accurate Strike behind me, the rest of the day crew behind them, and the thestral contingent bringing up the rear. We got Luna’s attention very quickly. When told to, I gave the full report, as I knew it up to the time of Bold Stroke’s departure. “You have done well, Tristan, you and yours. Allowing the malefactors to steal what they thought was your music box and trapping it. Very smart of you,” she said from the throne dais.
“Don’t thank me, Your Highness. I didn’t build the thing. You know who did,” I said with a polite bow.
Luna nodded, having caught my subtext not to mention just who DID set this all up, namely Time Turner. We were not alone in the throne room, and who knows who is on Blueblood’s team? “That I do, Tristan. I will order that thou beist informed of the capture shortly after I find out the details. I know it has been a long day for thee, so go and get some sleep, both you and your loyal followers.” When she used the Royal Canterlot voice pattern, I knew it would be senseless to argue.
I bowed, deeper this time. “By your command.” I droned in my best Cylon voice, which drew some shocked gasps from the Night Court courtiers, but a smile came to Luna’s eyes but not mouth.
“Thou art dismissed,” Luna concluded. In a choreographed move, all ten of us pivoted in place, and we inverted the triangle as we walked out, to put me back in the lead of the formation. Hell, yes, we like to show off! Especially to an appreciative audience! Even my missing the door handles to the throne room, leading me to walk into the doors, did not spoil the effect one bit. I hope nopony noticed the combined glows of Strike and Strings keeping me upright as we marched out of the room. I didn’t regain consciousness until the second flight of steps. Good thing with my shades on, nopony can tell if my eyes are open or shut. I was put to bed once in the suite and was told in no uncertain terms to get some sleep, that Strike will take reports from The Princess. For once, I did not argue.
In the morning, I found out who all got splattered with pink dye. A total of seven nobles, all part of Blueblood’s clique, along with Blueblood himself and the earth pony who was carrying the decoy after somepony light-hoofed it from me during the party. Questioning lasted through the night, but confessions were not exactly forthcoming. Neither Princess Celestia or Princess Luna decided to remove the dye just then, telling the ones foolish enough to be near that they should come back in a week, because the counteragent to the dye would have arrived by then. Celestia is not malicious, she is stern. Luna, I’m told, did not stop laughing for a good five minutes after the perps were released. Celestia just smiled.
Ten days after the command performance, word arrived via D-mail that the pickpocket had finally been identified, the clique breaking down and confessing when told the ‘shampoo’ to remove the pink dye ran into sudden unexpected delays. That noble I knew was a fan of my music, but I did not know she was a member of Blueblood’s clique. Goes to show, innocence can hide a lot of things.
I also received an unexpected item in the mail from Canterlot, a letter from Blueblood. To sum up what he said, he admitted I was right, that I have been a force for positive change in Equestria, enclosing a check for fifty thousand bits. Mind you, the admission was couched in a whole lot of noble look-down-your-nose-ese, and some words I had to go to Twilight to figure out what they meant. Apparently Blueblood and I share a common trait, using obscure words and languages to cover up our true feelings. I did send him a nice letter back, thanking him for his donation, and asked if we could meet socially on my next trip to Canterlot. That was three weeks ago, and I’m still waiting for a response. I know Derpy isn’t that slow in delivering mail! I have an intact copy of the main Canterlot paper secure in my safe, with a picture of a pink Blueblood placed right in the middle of page one above the fold, in full color. The negative publicity and ridicule is still going on, for all I know. The bits I donated to the Ponyville school, to get updated materials and building repairs. For three days, every foal I encountered hugged me, some more than once.
As winter went on (and on and on and on, in my opinion), it turns out the band found itself in demand, and so, we did some investigating (mainly asking Topspin) on how to set up a tour. We kept the idea small, only seven cities, the shows three days apart to allow for travel time and rest. As a warmup, we decided to do a show right here in Ponyville. With a heartfelt assurance from Rainbow Dash that the weather would be fair, if a little cool, we set up the show to be held outdoors, so all who wished to attend could do so. No tickets were sold, either, because this was for our neighbors.
The band and I deliberated for hours on exactly what songs we wanted to do. After four hours of bickering, I just threw up my hooves and cried out, “Okay! Every pony here, choose TWO songs YOU want to do, and we’ll call it right there!” That ended the bickering.
The Ponyville show was all we had hoped for, every pony in the band, myself included, jelled in perfectly, and for those two hours, we were one with our music. The crowd loved it, said crowd being enhanced by ponies training in to see us perform. It was such a joy to perform, live on stage, for my friends and neighbors that I had to be dragged offstage by Low Note. No, that was NOT planned, by the way. Where he got that big stage hook, I have no idea. More than likely Pinkie Pie, but he has not told me.
Setting up the tour took a bit of deliberation and a lot of telegraph time between us and Topspin’s chosen show manager, Encore Act. Before he arrived in Ponyville to settle in, he worked from Canterlot. We decided on shows in Manehattan, Baltimare, Fillydelphia, Canterlot, Las Pegasus and Hoofington. Our first stop, however, was not up to any argument. I selected the Crystal Empire, over Encore Act’s objections. He stopped objecting when I hinted that I just might fire him if he pissed me off enough.
When I told Twilight that I intended the Crystal Empire to be our first stop on tour, she let out a happy squeal before hugging me and saying that she intended to tag along, at least through the first show. I met Princess Cadance, but I had yet to meet Twilight’s brother and niece. In fact, all of the ladies would travel with us to that show, and Spike.
A problem we had is that we had not selected a name for the band yet. At the Command Performance, we were billed as ‘Tristan’s Troop’, but none of us really liked it. Despite Rainbow Dash’s suggestion of ‘The Awesomes’, we settled on ‘Tristan and The Wonders’ instead. That pleased everypony.
Encore Act arrived three days before setting out for the Crystal Empire. He is a unicorn, as I expected, but his fur pattern reminded me of a circus ringmaster’s outfit, as did his choice of coat and hat. He is a literal buzzsaw of activity, going here, there and everywhere, getting to know us, Ponyville, our gear, and I suspect every railroad tie between Ponyville and the Crystal Empire. Hell, I got exhausted just watching him go! I did find out that he IS a good pony to know, he being dedicated to his job and image. I also found out he is Topspin’s nephew, which explained why he backed down so fast when I threatened to go over his head.
He stayed in a guest room at my house, not that he slept much. I did find that once he arrived, all the annoyances of handling the tour vanished and matters flowed as smooth as my hooves skidding on a marble floor. I did get to like him, and him me. We just ignored all of each other’s annoying traits.
Training to the Crystal Empire took hours, our gear in one boxcar and all of us in a coach. Encore Act slept the whole way to the Crystal Empire. “So, this is when he sleeps,” Silver Strings said to me two hours out of Ponyville.
“Smart of him. Nothing for him to do on a train, yes?” I replied.
“I see your point,” she said. Silver Strings and I have been growing closer together since the Command Performance, finding more and more to like about each other. Hey, she’s good to be around.
Everypony spent the trip to the Crystal Empire chatting, napping, or reading. I brought the phone and power pack out and played some ‘unreleased tunes’, ones I have been debating on releasing. I made sure to hide it at the stops, though. Several hours of that helped me decide my next two releases.
One thing I did not like about going to the Empire was the weather. The Empire is way north, and it is so cold that way, it made Ponyville at Hearthswarming seem like Miami Beach in July. I was assured by everypony aboard that inside the Crystal Empire, it is quite warm and pleasant. I’ll believe that when I see it. I hate cold weather…
When we approached the Empire, I did see the snow give way suddenly to green fields and croplands. I mean suddenly, like there was an invisible wall up that said ‘Snow, you stay on THAT side!’. I just shook my head. Just an example of magic I had yet to comprehend.
As the station came into view, Twilight started bouncing with glee. “There they are! It’s been so long since I’ve seen them!” she squealed. I know she was referring to her brother and niece. Her enthusiasm is infectious, so by the time we pulled up to the platform, we were all excited.
The noise caused Encore Act to wake up from his nap. With a yawn and a stretch, he asked, “What’s all the noise about? Are we there yet?”
“We’re here.” Inky Spot told him.
Twilight and the ladies charged out of the coach the instant the train stopped, Twilight beelining for her niece, which she hugged warmly, spinning her around several times before putting her down and greeting her brother. The rest of us left the coach more sedately, half of us going to the boxcar to start unloading our gear, putting the instruments in a waiting wagon.
Once the family reunion went from blissful excitement to something more sedate, I approached the group, greeting the Princess first before saying hello to the others. “You like the record we gave you in Canterlot?” I asked. In reply, Flurry Heart started squealing the opening bars to the record I had given her mother, “Shimmy Shimmy Ko Ko Bop” by Little Anthony and the Imperials. After a short laugh, I had to add, “Well, we have at least ONE fan up here!”
“That you do, Tristan!” Prince Shining Armor told me. “It’s her favorite song.”
“Can’t you tell?” Princess Cadance added with a warm smile.
We walked into the main town of the Crystal Empire, with me carrying Flurry Heart on my back, singing ‘Shimmy Shimmy’ together. Everypony saw how thrilled the little alicorn filly is, and how happy she is as well. Definitely warmed my heart. Speaking of warm, I did have my sweater and scarf on. I managed to get the scarf off, but Flurry Heart refused to budge from her spot, so I had to sweat my way to the castle. So, she’s a kid. Let her be happy.
Flurry Heart would not get off me until we got to the castle, where I hurriedly removed my sweater and wrung it out. Stowing it in a saddlebag, I followed the rest inside and up to our suite. I only made it about half way there before I once again found a loose rug and went headlong into a wall, coldcocking myself again. I have the damndest luck with throw rugs….
After my revival, we were led to the hall where the concert is to be held. Encore Act immediately began directing where and how the instruments were to be placed, taking charge like the manager he is purported to be. The rest of us headed to dinner. Any attempts at good conversation was interrupted by an eager little filly, so the dinner became a song fest. Good thing the Wonders are almost as good a cappella as we are with instruments.
It was not until Flurry Heart was put to bed that we were all able to relax. “Tristan, I’ve seen the way you have with foals. Flurry Heart just adores you,” Twilight said.
I shrugged and said in my usual manner, “It’s all up to the kids. Here, I have managed to find more than a few above-average ones.”
“She likes you, and so do we,” Shining Armor told me, pouring me a drink. Unfortunately, nothing potent, because otherwise my healer-on-hooves would yell at me.
“The only question being, how can you keep her calm during the concert?” I asked after sipping.
“Early bedtime and sleep spells,” Shining Armor said in tones so dry, dust flew.
“That will work,” I agreed.
“I just dread what will happen when those tricks stop working,” Shining Armor said as he sipped his drink.
“Can’t help you there, Shining. Out of my wheelhouse for now,” I told him. Foals, I can handle. LITTLE foals, I would have to drop back fifteen yards and punt, something I don’t like doing.
The next day, the morning was taken up in rehearsals, while the afternoon was for resting before the show that evening. I accepted an offer from Prince Shining Armor to tour the city, with Spike and Flurry Heart in tow. I was suitably impressed by the sights, including the Crystal Heart. I got the stories involved with the Heart, along with the story behind the thrice (or more) life-size story of the statue of Spike, which the little dragon took pride in telling. What was story and what was embellishment, I was not clear on from the start, but I didn’t care. It pleased the little dragon, and his smile told me enough. Hey, I like the little guy a lot, and he me, especially when I joined his O&O game on occasion. Having been a passionate gamer for decades, I was able to show Spike some tricks to make his game better.
Shining Armor and I did reserve an hour before dinner for some sparring, just one-on-one instruction. I learned some good maneuvers in that hour, and he learned just how ruthless I can be when cornered. I did apologize for the hoofprints in his fur, which he took in good grace. “Where did you learn that?” he asked me when he got his breath back.
“When it comes down to me or thee, I’m going to do my damndest to make sure it is thee, not me, who goes down. Besides, I got a black belt in crazy!” I told him after helping him up.
“I noticed. Those last few seconds, I could not read you at all. That kick came as a complete surprise.”
“Hey, if I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, how could you ever figure it out?” I replied.
“Point made,” Shining puffed, rubbing his side gently. “I think you cracked something in there.”
“Sorry.”
The show that night went over as well as the one in Ponyville did, with the band and the audience connecting on some visceral level that brought max enjoyment to all involved. It was the after party where things went a bit sour.
The after party is held in the courtyard of the castle, to allow ponies in who could not be at the show, which was a packed house. There is a magic crystal set up which acted as a loudspeaker system, sending the audio out to the public listening area, and from what I was finding out at the after party, the ponies did enjoy the music. Most of them, that is.
I was schmoozing with the populace, signing autographs and deflecting praise to the band members when I became aware of a disturbance by the courtyard entrance. A mass of crystal ponies were there, swinging weapons, chanting something I could not make out initially. I saw Low Note go down from a hit, as did Black Sky. The mob was gunning for the band members. I made an apology to the pony I was with at the time and waded in, determined to protect my friends.
It was not easy, making my way through a crowd of panicked ponies. The chanting I made out to be anti-new music, determined to stamp out the evil it represented. The city Guard was closing in from behind, while my band members did their best to defend themselves. The thestrals and pegasi took wing, and the unicorns waded in, defending our fallen.
I watched Silver Strings lift a pony that was ready to stomp on Low Note’s head and toss it into a knot of three others, scattering them like tenpins. Accurate Strike is standing over Black Sky, two senbons at the ready. I launched two myself and headed for Black Sky.
I think four or five of the mob broke off and came my way as I went in, brandishing weapons. I charged at them, and when they set up to repel the charge, I gave an adrenaline-charged leap over the mob, twisting as I did to hit them all with a stun blast. I landed hard on the ground and took aim at another bunch of miscreants. I then felt something hard impact my head, and everything faded to black, shot with stars of all different colors. “Rabbit sees stars…” was my last coherent thought.
I came to in what looked like the ward out of M*A*S*H, ponies on cots while doctors worked on another pony under some lights at the far end of the room. I could feel something wrapped around my head, and one eye was bandaged, my glasses nowhere to be found, my performing shirt in tatters.
I groaned, and Rarity came into my field of vision, looking very worried. “Tristan, can you hear me?” she said to me.
“Yes, I can, Rarity. What happened?” I managed to ask, my voice slurred because some of the bandages wrapped under my jaw.
“A mob of uncultured music haters decided to crash the party. Of the band members, Low Note and Black Sky are bad off. You took a hit from Vectorex as she was taking out someone charging you with a knife,” she reported, taking a hoof in her glow.
“She has a hard hoof,” I groaned.
“Not a hoof, a battle baton. The pony she was swinging at ducked, causing her to hit you. You needed surgery to get glass out of your eye. Twilight took care of you herself before going to help Low Note.”
“Everypony else okay?”
“Minor. Cuts, scrapes, bumps and bruises. Rainbow Dash carried you out of the combat zone herself, while I helped Silver Strings with Low Note. He’s heavy, even for an earth pony,” Rarity told me.
“I’m thinking this is just a bad dream, and I’m going to wake up to find every pony hale and healthy,” I grumbled.
“That’s not the worst of it, Tristan. It’s who was attacking you that is bad.”
I looked up at Rarity with my unbandaged eye. “Okay, I’ll bite. Who attacked us, other than deranged music critics?”
“Changelings.” I heard Rarity say before I passed back out. I knew about changelings, but last I heard, they were on our side. I had listened to Spike’s and Starlight’s stories about how Chrysalis was defeated, but this is a little beyond the pale.
When I woke up again, I was in a real hospital room, but not a private one. I could see Black Sky in the next bed out of my right eye, my head still bandaged and covering my left eye. I tried to move my head, but the pain told me that was a bad idea. At my groan of pain, Encore Act came into my field of view. “Hey, Tristan,” he said quietly. I knew it could not be good news, because he, like Pinkie Pie, tends to talk in exclamation points.
“Encore… how is everypony?” I managed to croak. He brought a cup and straw to my mouth and I sipped some liquid ambrosia. Okay, it is just water, but my throat thought otherwise.
“Black Sky is doing better than you are. Low Note is not. Not only was he severely beaten, he was drained by an overeager changeling. It’s still touch and go for him,” he told me.
I shut my eye and grieved for a few seconds- Low Note is not only a member of my Guard Force, he is also a good friend. I’m sure a tear or two leaked out, because Encore Act went on. “He’s being looked after by the best. Let’s not lose hope.”
“Where is he?” I asked. Gently, he took my head in his glow and turned me to the left. Low Note came into view, bandaged up, asleep or unconscious, looking, well, to be frank, bad.
“Princess Twilight has gone to speak with King Thorax, to find out what is going on with these changelings,” Encore told me as he rolled my head back.
“Has anypony interrogated the prisoners?”
“As far as I know, none of the survivors are talking. Out of an initial twenty-five, six were killed in the ruckus. You got one of them, by the way.”
“How does anyone know that?” I asked, my eyebrow rising.
“You left a senbon in its eye. Nice toss, by the way,” Encore said with a twitch of a grin.
I frowned. “I regret the necessity of the deed. Where’s Strike and the others?”
“Strike, I believe, is with Prince Shining Armor. As to the others, I would presume sleeping. It is four in the morning,” he told me. When I tried to tell him something, he was quick to add, “I got my three hours already. How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been hit in the side of the head with Vectorex’s battle baton. What about the tour?”
Now, a little life came back to Encore’s eyes. “I’ve cancelled the next stop, in Baltimare. We’ll pick it up at the end. The next two stops have been alerted to possible changes, in Fillydelphia and Manehattan. All depends on how the recovery goes.”
“I knew I could count on you to get affairs done properly…” I sighed before dozing off again.
I woke to find Twilight and Spike next to my bed, along with somepony I didn’t recognize. Since when did a pony have… antlers? “Good, he’s waking up” Twilight said.
“How long this time?” I slurred, my mind and eyes not on speaking terms with me or my skull, which throbbed to the rhythm of Teen Beat. It was still dark on the left, too.
“It’s been about twelve hours since you last woke, Tristan. Your skull took a serious whack. Another session with a healer should set that to rights, along with your eye,” Twilight reported.
“How the others?” I asked, meaning the other two injuries to the Wonder’s members.
“Black Sky should be out of here in a few hours more. Low Note is well on the road to recovery, and should not be too much behind Black Sky,” Twilight told me.
“How that happen?” Last I saw of Low Note, he looked horrible.
“That’s where Thorax here comes in. He was able to replace the emotional energies drained by the rogue changeling.”
I flopped my right forehoof limply in Thorax’s direction. “Pardon my not rising. Don’t know which way is down. Thank you for Low Note.” I managed to get out before Spike held up a glass of water and a straw. I needed that.
“No need to, Tristan,” Thorax said. He has such a nice voice. “We know now where those rogue changelings are from, and what they were wanting.”
I looked at Thorax with my good eye. “Rogue? How?”
“They are not from my hive, but that of the former queen, Chrysalis. She is trying to re-establish a hive and sent harvesters here to gather love energy. Your music generates a lot of love and good feelings, and they were attracted to it. They attacked so they could cover emotional harvesting with fighting. The survivors have been dealt with,” Thorax said, sounding both angry and apologetic at the same time. That, or my head was still not quite wired up right.
“Thorax is a good friend of mine, and he wants to make up for the attack. We’re just trying to figure out how he can do so,” Spike said from where he was holding my glass of water.
‘Spike is right, Tristan,” Twilight added. “Thorax is a friend, and he’s ashamed of the attack on the Wonders. He’s also a fan of your music releases.”
“You are?” I grunted.
Thorax nodded, a faint smile dancing on his face. “Yes. I have most of your releases. They spread good cheer among those who listen, which makes my hive happy and content. Something we did not know we were missing.”
“Thorax, will there be a chance for us to talk once I get out of this bed and can see with two eyes again? I will be happy to talk music with you, once I can remember which are the better songs to talk about,” I managed to get out.
“Looks like you need a dose of Jeremiah Peabody’s pills, Tristan,” Thorax said, the smile on his face becoming a little more genuine.
“You have that one, eh? I’ve liked it since I was a foal,” I managed to say.
“It is funny. I can be contacted through Twilight. I intend to remain in the Crystal Empire for a few days still. We can talk more when you are released,” Thorax told me.
“Plans like a sound to me, Kingie,” I said before I passed out again.
When I next woke up, I could tell it was bright daylight outside, but somepony took care to make sure it did not shine in my face. Opening my eyes, I found myself in possession of binocular vision again, somepony was by my side, and I was hungry enough to eat a timber wolf, splinters and all. Without mustard or pepper, but with salt. I was craving salt. “whuh?” I grunted.
Silver Strings' face came into my field of vision. I knew it was her, because of her royal blue horn and silvery face. Her eyes lit up when she saw my eyes open. “Hello, Tristan! Feeling any better?” she asked before giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek. On the right side.
The kiss did indeed make me feel a lot better. I knew she cared about me, but with that kiss, I KNEW it, someplace deep inside of me. “If I’m not feeling better after that kiss, maybe I’ll need a second dose of medicine,” I said with a weak smile.
Silver String’s laugh was like music to my ears. She delivered a second dose of medicine before taking a hoof of mine in her glow. “At least that weak excuse of a mind you have is waking up!”
“Hey, I’ve taken so many knocks to the head, I’m surprised I still have two intact bones touching each other up there! Be kind to a battered pony and get me something to eat, okay?” I asked, with a bright smile on my face and a seismic rumble from my guts.
“I’ll get you something light, but first I’ll get a doctor in here to unhook you from your lines so you can walk to breakfast like a pony should!” Silver Strings laughed at me before giving me another high-voltage kiss and departing to find a doctor. That’s when I noticed that I have an I.V. line going into my left arm, and another line… down there… ho boy. Glad I was asleep when THAT was installed. May the removal not be as painful as I have heard it can be.
Strings returned in less than a minute with a local doctor, a crystal pony who freed me from the tyranny of the bed- painlessly. Fortunately for my modesty, Strings left the room while the catheter was removed. The doctor gave me a quick examination, finishing before Strings returned with Twilight, Cadance and Thorax. “You’re looking better!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Feeling that way, too. How are Black Sky and Low Note doing?” I asked as I carefully got out of bed. I knew moving fast would cause dizziness, and I did not need that now. I was like that in the days before I… I froze in place, a look of horror coming across my face, which everypony picked up on.
“Tristan? What is wrong?” Princess Cadance asked.
“I think I should have my head examined…” I breathed cautiously. “I think IT is making its presence known.”
“It? What is IT?” Thorax asked.
“A glioblastoma, also known as cancer of the brain. Incurable and with a survival rate of a year or so. I’m feeling now like I felt before I went to the hospital before I came here,” I said slowly, Silver Strings moving close, sitting on the bed so I could lean against her. She felt so nice to lean against.
“I can take a look, if you would like, Tristan,” Princess Cadance said. “With Twilight’s help, of course.”
“Please do, Princess. This time, I want to be wrong. Please, let me be wrong. I don’t mind being wrong every now and again,” I started to rant, but Strings calmed me down by taking my hoof in hers and leaning against me.
“Easy, Tristan. Let them look. I’m here with you,” she said in my ear, which DID calm me a lot. I just nodded in agreement before looking at Thorax, Cadance and Twilight.
A combined pink and purple glow surrounded my head and penetrated it. I could feel slight tuggings inside my skull. Not something I am used to, but I know it was the combined magics looking around. My own magic accepted the combined glows and helped it along. This lasted for a long two minutes (well, it felt like that to ME) before fading.
The two princesses then looked at each other, faces twitching as they seemingly thought at each other. Soon, the concerned looks faded to that of relief. “Do I dare hope?” I asked.
“You can dare to hope, Tristan,” Cadance said. “What we found in there is that your balance centers are still recovering from the knock, and we could not find any cancer in there. There are some structures we don’t know about, but we are just princesses, not doctors.”
I slumped against Silver Strings, much relieved. “Okay, that is something that can be dealt with. Now, if we are to talk, may we do so after breakfast?”
Twilight smiled at my words. “Of course, we can, Tristan! Strings, help him up so he can go eat.”
Silver Strings got me to my hooves, and I made my wobbly way to a room that had breakfast foods on it. I sat down at one end and grabbed the one thing I needed most first- a mug of coffee. Mixing in cream and sugar, I took a long sip, getting the caffeine into my system and letting the wondrous stuff work its magic. I then looked at Thorax. “Okay, Your Loftiness, you have hardly said a thing. You have something on your mind that involves more than your antlers. So, out with it.”
Thorax looked at Twilight with a little confusion evident. “Is this normal for him?” he asked.
“It’s a sign that he is awake, aware and alert. He has reasons to be suspicious, but he is open to making you his friend, if you can take it. I’m used to it. You should hear how he talks to Princess Luna in private moments,” Twilight advised.
Cadance chipped in her two bits worth. “Something about calling her ‘Crater-Butt’.”
Thorax then looked at me. “You call Princess Luna Crater Butt?” he asked, amazed.
“When we’re among friends, yes. Never in public. So, speak your piece, Antler Attic.” I said while buttering still hot hotcakes.
“I would like to put a changeling with your troupe, Tristan. She does know music, and will be able to let you know whenever one of Chrysalis’ drones comes near,” he told me, his manner going from amazed to professional. “The Princesses approve, as does your troupe. I’m looking for your blessing to do so.”
I had a forkful of hotcakes and eggs while I thought. “You say The Wonders approve. Is it unanimous?”
“Encore Act resisted a bit, but Accurate Strike argued him down. Low Note is solidly in favor, as is Black Sky,” Silver Strings told me. “Yes, it is unanimous. You are our leader, so your vote overrides all of us, Tristan. What do you say?”
I drained my coffee mug and grabbed a glass of orange juice in my glow. “The only thing I can say is when will she be here, Thorax? We plan on leaving for our next stop soon, if my time sense is right,” I said out loud before looking at Strings. “Where in Tartarus is my watch?”
“In safe keeping, Tristan. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not worried, just how did you get it off my arm? Time Turner said the spell on it would not allow it to come off unless I allowed it!” I exclaimed.
Silver Strings just gave me a long, slow Look. I then remembered that she is a formidable magician in her own right, good enough to be respected by the Solar Guard. “Forget I asked…” I muttered before I drained the orange juice and went back to the eggs and hotcakes before they grew cold. I hate cold eggs about as much as I hate cold toast.
“I can have my agent here within an hour or two at most, Tristan. You’ll like her. She will travel with you as a changeling, to prove to the audiences that changelings like your music as well as they do,” Thorax told me, with Cadance’s and Twilight’s nods of agreement.
“Okay, I’m in. Once I get my act together, I will be happy to chat with her, and see how I can fit her in to the group. Strings, that’s your job, once I talk to her,” I announced.
Silver Strings kissed my cheek, to my embarrassment and Cadance’s look of approval. “Of course, Tristan,” she said while my ears heated up to just short of ignition temperature.
The three nobles took their leave, allowing me to finish my breakfast, which for me was double normal size. Feeling much more human (okay, you know what I mean…) I allowed Silver Strings to lead me to the band. The reception I received is a lot more than I was expecting, unexpected but welcome. I immediately sought out Low Note and Black Sky, to check on them. Imagine my relief when I found them alive, well, and largely recovered from their injuries. I then looked for Vectorex.
Fixing a baleful stare on her, I slowly approached the thestral. “You…” I growled.
“What about me, Tristan?” Vectorex countered, not backing off one inch.
“You… have a very hard baton! See Accurate Strike for more training. You MISSED your target and hit ME!” I snapped at her, my ‘rage’ building, pointing at my head. “You’re buying me another set of shades!”
She reached into a saddlebag and pulled out a set, almost identical to the one I was wearing when she clocked me. “Already did. I was waiting for you to get off your fat ass and get them!” she fired back.
I took the proffered glasses in my glow and put them on. I then moved up nose to nose with Vectorex. “You still have to undergo punishment!” I barked before launching into a tickle attack using my glow.
Vectorex fell to the floor, helplessly giggling under the tickle attack until I stopped. “You still need refresher training. I’ll get with Captain Strike later!” I told Vectorex, helping her up to her hooves.
“Understood, Tristan!” she said before hugging me. “Welcome back.”
I got with Accurate Strike and Encore Act a bit later, catching up with and finalizing plans. The Baltimare stop was rescheduled to be the last stop of the tour, instead of the second. Leaving on the morning train tomorrow would have us in Fillydelphia the day after, well in time for the next show. Silver Strings stayed with me the whole time. I didn’t mind her presence, not at all.
Our meeting was interrupted by the arrival of a changeling, one that has a black carapace with bright orange highlights as well as orange eyes. “Mister Tristan? I am Harmonium, your new team member,” she announced. She has a very pleasant voice.
I got up, walked to her and gave her a welcoming hug. The changeling looked surprised at my action, but soon relaxed into the hug. “Hello, Harmonium. Welcome to Tristan and the Wonders. I’m Tristan. With me are Silver Strings, Accurate Strike and Encore Act. Nice to have you with us. Shall we go meet the rest?” I said to her.
“Of course! I would like that a lot!” Harmonium replied.
I took Harmonium out to meet the rest, Silver Strings at my side. The band, as I hoped, accepted her, even Low Note and Black Sky showed no holding back in their welcomes. Since everypony was present, we gave Harmonium an ‘audition’, testing her musical knowledge, as well as her knowledge of OUR music. Not only did she pass, she passed well enough to understudy just about every pony in the band, myself included, but only on our published stuff. With happier hearts, we packed up for our next show while welcoming our new member. So, she’s a changeling. So bloody effing what? She’s a good pony and will help prevent a repeat of what happened here in the Crystal Empire.
Chapter 21- What we did when the Storm King dropped in...
The rest of our initial tour went as well as we could ask for, attracting big friendly crowds at every show. Harmonium did attract attention, but I defused a lot of potential anger by saying, in interviews before each show, that she is part of the Wonders specifically to ward off any potential instances like what happened in the Crystal Empire. She did, in fact, point out some hidden changelings trying to mooch off us, changelings of Chrysalis’ hive. They were run off before they could do any damage. That happened twice, in Manehattan and Las Pegasus.
Post-tour, we returned to Ponyville for some well-deserved rest. It was our home and being home felt good after weeks of travel. Encore Act, Accurate Strike and Harmonium accompanied me to Canterlot for my monthly drop off with Topspin, and to get a report on our tour proceeds. We left Topspin’s that evening dazzled by the proceeds and weighted down by our cut of the first four shows. I’m glad for the First Canterlot Bank and their checks. That amount of bits would have made swaybacks out of ALL of us!
At the castle that evening, Princess Celestia informed us of a Friendship Festival that is in the works, with Twilight Sparkle organizing, and asked us if we would like to participate. I showed no hesitation in accepting the offer and encountered no resistance when I suggested we appear without pay, any bits we would have been paid going to a charity of Twilight’s choice. Friendship Festival, you see. Twilight is my friend, and I’m always big in helping friends. What surprised me the most is that Encore Act supported my decision. He’s always out to get as many bits as he could get, for himself and Topspin Productions, but not this time.
When Tempest Shadow appeared and petrified the Princesses, we were backstage getting ready for our appearance. A message from Twilight reached us, saying to get back to Ponyville by any means possible and protect the town from Tempest’s minions. We only hesitated long enough to determine just how we would get back to Ponyville, the decision being to go on hoof, abandoning the bigger instruments. Instruments could be replaced easily. Ponies are harder to come by.
We decided to split into two groups. The thestrals and one pegasus formed one group, under Black Sky’s leadership, while I took the rest, keeping the other pegasus in case aerial recon was called for. Getting back to our suite, we packed our bags and in the immortal words of Colonel Sherman T. Potter, we BUGGED OUT! (Apologies were made to Harmonium when I could, explaining the term in enough detail that she didn’t take offense.)
Accurate Strike, being a Solar Guard officer, knew the secret ins and outs of Canterlot Castle, as did Black Sky. The thestral contingent found a place to hide out until nightfall, while Accurate Strike led us to a hidden exit. From there, he led us to a good place to hide until it grew dark. We took the time to divest ourselves of our show attire, and I switched my shades for my favorite spare pair, the photograys Doctor Makeswell had given me months before. Less obvious, and the wards built into them would keep me from being blinded by a flash attack. So, it’s my well-known Achilles heel. I deal with it.
All told, it took us two days to get to Ponyville, using the railroad tracks as a guide, travelling by night and remaining as inconspicuous as possible the whole time. The airborne contingent made the trip in one night, as expected, and spread the word throughout the town as to what happened in Canterlot.
Once we arrived, I brought Mayor Mare to my house for consultations. After some talk, it was decided to shelter the foals in a safe place while the adults defended the town, if needed. I came up with a good place to hide the foals, the underground passageway between my house and Friendship Castle. Accurate Strike is to work with the Mayor arranging defenses while I kept the foals safe.
Accurate Strike gathered the town’s ponies at Friendship Castle, deciding it is the most defensible building in case of trouble. I led the foals along with several adults (Miss Cheerilee, Granny Smith and Nurse Redheart, among others) into the passageway, with camping equipment and enough food for several days. We went through the castle entrance, the house entrance being a little too hard to pass about thirty-five ponies through easily. Harmonium stayed with the foals, while Silver Strings and I interfaced with the surface, bringing in supplies as needed. I put Encore Act in charge of logistics, which he took to like I hoped he would, thereby getting one worry off my mind.
The only building that stayed occupied above ground the whole time we were in hiding was the telegraph office, in case any messages came in. We felt it was worth the risk, by maintaining an illusion that life here in Ponyville is going on as normal, while the Storm King did his thing in Canterlot. Sure, one overflight would dispel the illusion, but we guessed that the Storm King would be busy in Canterlot, which had far more unicorns in it than Ponyville did.
We hid by day and scavenged by night, each scavenging team being escorted by several Guard ponies, both Ponyville Guard and the Wonders. I spent a lot of time with the foals, along with Silver Strings, keeping them occupied and entertained. Miss Cheerilee taught lessons, Granny Smith told stories, and Harmonium, Silver Strings and I alternated stories and music. All told, we kept the foals calm, which reduced the worries of the parents, so they could function.
We stayed that way until we got word via telegraph of the Storm King’s defeat. Once that came in, I sent a squad of pegasi to Canterlot to confirm the report. Our response was Twilight’s arrival via teleport back at the castle for a detailed accounting, which was given. We were invited back to Canterlot for the resumption of the Friendship Festival, which we all agreed to, fortunately starting the next day, allowing for the trains to resume.
The Friendship Festival was a smash hit for us, the good feelings generated being enough to saturate Harmonium despite her best efforts not to. Having Ponyville’s foals along, with their parents, with backstage passes, all train fares paid by me, may have had something to do with Harmonium’s nausea and bloating, but she waved off my apologies. “The foals loved it. It’s worth the discomfort,” she told us.
Right after the Storm King’s defeat, life was busy in Canterlot, rebuilding from and erasing any trace of the ‘recent unpleasantness’, as many of the look-down-your-nose contingent called it. Tristan and the Wonders stayed in Canterlot for a month, doing free concerts four nights a week at regional parks around the city. We said that this would be our assistance to the rebuilding effort, because we took no pay from anyone, and only a nominal entry fee, which was turned over to the management of whatever park we performed in, to defray maintenance costs. The parks were packed for every performance.
On our off days, we all could be found at Topspin Productions, doing music that I did not have on the phone play lists, but were pulled out of my head and Low Note had written down. Seeing as we stayed in Canterlot for a month, we built up a sizable backlog of masters for later printing up. Topspin was quite pleased at the results, as were we. Once home from Canterlot, we had no intention of leaving Ponyville for a while. A long while, if I had any say in the matter. I’m just the boss pony of the group, nopony ever tells me anything.
Back in Ponyville, I declared a three-week holiday for the whole group, telling everypony to go home for some rest and recreation, there would be adequate security for me, so long as I stayed around Ponyville and the Mane Six. Accurate Strike put up an argument, and I argued back. Vehemently. When he helped me up from the grass, he admitted I had a point. I admitted to a headache and a need to go soak in the hot tub, with Fluttershy’s bath salts, until my bruises faded, and the ache went away. Strike left me a detailed list of instructions, which I found when I dried off. He had the taken the first train to Canterlot.
By the next day, everypony had left for their vacations, except one. Silver Strings stayed with me, saying that I needed at least one body guard. Heck, she could guard my body as much as she wanted! I had a sneaky feeling in the back of my head that this was a setup by Princess Cadance, but if it was, I had no objections. We had fallen in love with each other, and it is a wondrous love to behold. Or so everypony in town told us, because we were seldom seen apart. The ladies noticed, and they were all pleased at the sight, and one, who I will not mention out loud (*coughRainbowDashcough*) who would not stop the good-natured teasing, not even when I threatened to use her as a skeet target. Not much of a threat when it was just me. When it was me and Silver Strings, it was a different story. We worked well together, Strings and me.
There was one chore Silver Strings nagged me to do while we were on holiday, and two weeks in, we went to Canterlot to have the matter attended to. That matter is having my head examined closely by specialist doctors, to check once and for all if the glioblastoma was still there or not. Two days of getting examined by one doctor after another led to one conclusion. They were not sure if it was there or not, my brain structure having some anomalies that confused the doctors. I always knew I was abnormal…
A side purpose of that trip to Canterlot was for Silver Strings to visit a magical research lab. All my talk about radio had given her some ideas she wanted to check out, but the only suitable lab in Ponyville belonged to Twilight Sparkle, and there was NO way Silver Strings was going to go in there unescorted, after warnings hoofed out by both Twilight and Spike.
What she came up with is essentially a two-way radio-like headset, with a talk switch being engaged by an ear twitch. Being a first attempt, it is a ‘party-line’ arrangement, what one says, all hear. It took practice to learn how to work the thing, but I have to say it’s better than what we had before, which is nothing. Strings has an idea for a multi-channel radio, but at her stage of understanding, only a unicorn or alicorn could use it, magic talent being needed to change the channel.
To test the range of the headset, we called upon a friend who could go a long way in a little time, Rainbow Dash. When we returned to Ponyville with a dozen of the headsets, we asked her to try one out, seeing how far she could go before losing signal. She made it from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire without losing signal strength, according to my ears. Declaring the invention ‘Awesome!’, she asked when she could get one. Silver Strings answered honestly that she would have to talk to Twilight Sparkle first, to use her lab to impress the crystals needed to make it work, and she could make one specific to the ladies, without crossing into our network.
Her main problem was getting Twilight’s attention long enough to get what she needed from the lab, so she could work. Twilight and her friends were all abuzz about starting a school to teach friendship. I supported the idea, but I was not sure if I could do more than spot-fill in teaching, what with the success of the music. We would be doing more tours, and I just was uncertain of how much time I would have to devote to the school. Besides, as Miss Cheerilee’s substitute, I was really pinched for time.
Good thing Twilight supported my radio idea and let Silver Strings get all she needed to set up her own magic lab in a room we had excavated off the basement. Silver’s skill in spellcrafting, coupled with my own knowledge that such things were possible, led to the design and building of multiple-circuit radios, or as I took to calling them, magirads. Problem being, it takes a unicorn to fully utilize the multi-channels, because it took a spell to shift ‘frequencies. We also worked on wall models, which, at our stage of development, would need an operator to put calls through, a unicorn operator. Designing the plug and hole board for phone connecting is a real bitch and a half, let me tell you! I just knew it was possible, not how to build one!
Our next tour as Tristan and the Wonders was a long one, taking thirty days to do eleven cities, not counting Ponyville. It is fun to tour, but damn, it’s exhausting! We had little trouble with changelings disrupting the affairs, but we knew there were changelings in the audience, taking in the ambience. No sign of Chrysalis or her ilk, though. This tour was deliberately planned to go in a direction AWAY from her rumored location.
We kept that up for a while, a month tour, followed by an extended time off phase. We needed the break after the grind of the tour. Our popularity soared with each tour, along with sales. That’s why we could take long breaks- we could afford it. It also allowed us to be real ponies when not on tour, integrating with Ponyville as more than just musicians and guard ponies.
On our third vacation break, Silver Strings completely broadsided me with a proposal. Yes, THAT sort of proposal, meaning getting married. She could tell I was surprised by it, and while I responded positively to the offer, (down, boy!) she could tell my hesitation. “Let me handle all the details of the wedding, Tristan. You keep on doing what you do best,” she told me.
I could only nod in agreement at the time, my mind completely cross-circuiting at the idea of marrying Silver Strings. It was not something I had even considered. Sure, she is my best friend, and maybe even my ‘special somepony’, but marrying her? Making her my wife? My brain put up an argument, which I handled in the best way I could. Excusing myself, I made my way to Twilight’s School of Friendship, then completing construction.
I managed to corner Twilight for a while, convincing her to have lunch with me. I confessed to her Silver String’s proposal. She squealed in delight, hugged me tightly (alicorn strength…) and offered me all the support I needed. “You know, she’s right for you, Tristan. Cadance told me so a while back,” she told me once she settled down- and let go of me.
I took a cautious breath or two before replying, checking to see if I had any broken ribs. Fortunately, I didn’t. “Cadance, eh? Now I know what she meant when she told me about needing a special somepony,” I said quietly. Alicorn of Love, yes. Whyinhell did she have to put ME in her crosshairs?
“You really do, Tristan. I’ve noticed how close you and Silver Strings have been getting these last few months. Once you marry, then Accurate Strike could move on to another post, if he wants to,” twilight told me.
“Somehow, I don’t think he will, Twilight. He likes it here and likes being my chief bodyguard. So far, several attempts on me have been repelled, and he’s hinted that there are more I don’t know about. I deliberately did not push him for details.”
“But he is also your best friend here, right?” Twilight asked.
“My best stallion friend, yes. As for best friend overall, it must be Silver Strings. We do get along together, in the house and out, in the lab, on the road, and wherever. I’m just surprised she moved first,” I said, reflecting on Silver’s and my relationship.
“Nothing surprising to me, Tristan. You are a wonderful pony, but you get so focused on what you are doing, you hardly ever think of yourself. It’s a failing I’m familiar with,” she said, her dazzling smile and bright eyes taking any sting out of her words.
“I’m sure you are, Twilight. How goes the school?” I asked. For the next fifteen minutes, I got a complete rundown about her school, getting students from all over Equestria, including the sea ponies she found while on the run from the Storm King. I let her run on while I had lunch, paying attention to her words.
“A yak?” I said at one point.
“Yes! A yak. Yona is a nice girl. You’ll like her. Ever consider joining the faculty?” twilight asked
I shook my head. “While I am certified to do so, I like what I’m doing too much to do what you want as a full-time job. A substitute, or a guest lecturer, I’m okay with. Touring does take a lot of time, and Ponyville is home to me now. I want to help my home town be a better place to be,” I told her.
My turn down did not damp her enthusiasm. “I understand, Tristan. If you weren’t such a good friend, I would not have asked in the first place. You, of all ponies, truly understand what friendship is, and I do want you to teach some of what you have learned to more than just ponies.”
“Understood, Twilight,” I said, disposing of my lunch trash. “I must go now, before I get a call from Silver Strings asking where the hell I went,” tapping the magirad headset I wore.
“Tristan, you’re always welcome here. Oh, how is the wall mounted magirad idea coming?” she asked.
I rolled my eyes some. “Designing a switchboard using the mishmash here of magic and technology is giving me a pain behind the horn, but we’re making progress. I’m just glad for one thing on this idea- no wires between the houses,” I told her.
“Yeah, the pegasi would not like that. You have a great day, Tristan. My best to everypony!” I could only agree with her, say that I would before leaving, and headed out.
Trotting back to the house, I looked around the village, truly looking at it for the first time in a while. Today, it seemed brighter and better than before. If this is what it means to be truly in love, well then, I’m all in favor. It is a wonderful feeling, something I have never truly felt before. For some reason, I found myself tap-dancing (well, almost- you know what I mean) to the tune of ‘My Old Bam-Boo’ from Mary Poppins. I should curse my parents for getting me hooked on old musicals, but no, I’m not the type. Townsfolk saw my joy as I headed home, and the smiles and waves I got in return made my prancing about worthwhile.
Of course, just as I got to the front door of the house, my hoof skidded on the welcome mat as I was doing the closing buck and wing, and my nose impacted the door rather forcefully. I woke up to find myself on the sofa, Silver Strings and Vectorex standing over me, giving me The Eye. I smiled up at them, and they just kept on giving me The Eye. Finally, I gave in. “Sorry…” I said in a small voice.
“You, stallion of mine, really should learn how to knock on the front door without knocking yourself out,” Silver Strings said in a cold voice.
“What she said, boss,” Vectorex added in similar tones.
“You can stop trying to intimidate me, ladies. You know it does not work for long. My good mood stops for no pony or even loose door mats,” I told them, the smile coming back to my face as I got up.
Vectorex then made an observation. “Dark fur goes a long way in hiding bruises and black eyes.”
Silver Strings backed up the statement. “It does, but not completely, if you know how to look.”
“I’m not that bad, am I, lovely?” I asked Silver.
She pointed to the kitchen. “Get to work on the dishes, and I’ll forgive you. This time.”
I did the dishes, singing an old Beatles tune, ‘If I Fell’, one I had not released or even brought up. It just came to mind. I heard Vectorex say to Silver Strings, “You got him well trained and you’re not even married yet. How do you do it?”
“Native talent and a pliable student. He takes training well,” was her reply. I countered with another song, ‘You Talk Too Much’, by Joe Jones, another dredged from my memory. That resulted in laughter from the two ladies.
The wedding was scheduled for after the next tour, a ten-gig routing that would end in the Crystal Empire. We had made no announcement of our engagement, but somehow, news of it spread. Why is it that the only thing faster than light is gossip? By the time we got to the last stop on the tour, I had to hire another boxcar to haul along all the wedding presents we were given. My announcement that many of the gifts were going to be donated to charity did not stop the deluge from well-meaning fans.
After the last show, Silver Strings and I had a private audience with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. There, she gave us her personal blessing on our marriage, adding “See, Tristan? I told you that you would be much better off with your special somepony.”
“Cadance, I have to admit you were right. My history with love and romance never turned out sweet, just mildly sour, so I stopped trying. It took this wonderful mare, and coming here, to turn matters about,” I told the Alicorn of Love.
“It was love at first sight for me, but I could also feel his shyness and hesitation. I just waited for the right moment to propose. Thank you for hinting when that moment should be, Princess,” Silver Strings added.
I gave the Princess a long Look. “Did anypony ever tell you that you are a skilled puppet master, Princess?” I asked in tones which mixed humor, admiration and sarcasm.
Cadance let out a long laugh, got between Silver Strings and I and gave us a long wing hug. “Many, Tristan. Don’t ever change. You know how to put us alicorns in our place and we appreciate it.”
“That’s because I was not born here and have never been fully indoctrinated to consider an alicorn to be a top ruler. Respect, yes, but worship? No, alicorns are ponies too, and they deserve to be considered as such. Don’t undermine their authority, but don’t consider them so far above you can’t tell them when they are being foolish. Also, don’t consider yourself so far above them that they can do no right. I can be just as wrong as you. Just remember, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.”
Silver Strings just stared at me while Cadance started giggling, backing out of the hug as the giggles built more to laughter. “How did you do that?” she asked me.
I gave my fiancée a blank look. “Damned if I know, but it worked.”
“No fair breaking an alicorn, Tris,” she said as Cadance’s laughter built.
“I’ll put her back together. Now, where did I put the alicorn glue?” I asked, searching my saddlebags. That earned me a playful look from Strings as Cadance rolled on the floor, laughing harder. “Oh, dear, I left it in my other pants.”
As the wedding day neared, I became more and more agitated, jumpy and nervous. I mean, this is going to be a day bigger than my getting the government job, bigger than my honorable discharge, bigger than my rather painful arrival in Equestria! It took the combined efforts of my stallion friends to keep me from flipping my lid. The week before the wedding, Silver Strings moved out of the house and into Friendship Castle, just for the week, mind you. That helped settle my nerves.
Invitations were printed up and sent out long before the wedding, to allow for RSVP’s. That would suggest to us where to hold the ceremony. Our response led to holding the wedding out in the open air, on the parade ground in Ponyville behind Friendship Castle. All the Princesses would be there, as well as many friends we had made on our tours. Silver Strings’ family would be there, as would the families of the Guard Force members.
Ponyville got itself ready for the onslaught of visitors in its own style, residents opening their houses to board visitors, the trains having additional runs to keep up with the demand and setting up tents for overflows as needed. Any questions as to why I wanted to hold the wedding here?
We (Silver Strings and I) had a long talk as to who we wanted as celebrant for the wedding. The discussion went back and forth between us before we stumbled upon one who we could both agree on. We sent her a letter, and she replied that she would be happy to. Princess Cadance is a very good sort. All the Princesses were invited, of course, and all said they would attend, so we scheduled the wedding for the late afternoon, so Princess Luna could attend and not miss much sleep.
Pinkie Pie, of course, we put in charge of the wedding party after the ceremony. She said leave everything to her, and so we did. We expected it to be over the top, Pinkie Pie not being known for her restraint.
There was one detail that I had to take care of, and that involved the assistance of Fluttershy, to extract a promise from Discord not to disrupt the ceremony. Discord and I have been aware of each other since shortly after I arrived. I have not discussed his pranks on me for good reason, that being I want to forget as many of them as I possibly can. He does respect me for my skills as a role-playing game master, having told me more than once at a game that he likes my style of running a game. I taught him the pleasures of being surprised and pleased at the unexpected in a game, because I was prone to go off on tangents. Big Mac and Spike liked the tangents, too. Nice thing about running games here in Equestria is that I could use all my old tricks on a new audience.
Discord agreed not to be too disruptive at the wedding. I can’t be sure if it was my pleading and groveling at his feet or Fluttershy’s Stare that caused him to agree. He gave his word, and I accepted it. I also told him that if he broke his word, I would have Fluttershy and Silver Strings deal with him. Discord’s not really a BAD draconequus, just capricious. Once you understand that, he’s more tolerable to be with.
Plans moved forward throughout Ponyville that week before the wedding. Rarity outdid herself, making Silver Strings’ gown and my suit. Never in my life have I worn a suit and tie that did not make me feel like I was choking until I put on the one she had made. Applejack and her family helped set up the little stage and seating area, Fluttershy trained up a flock of songbirds, Pinkie Pie was going full bore gonzo inside Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash trained her Wonderbolts team to do a flyover, slaloming between buildings so as to pass over the wedding party at the right altitude, and Twilight, while not being the celebrant, was indeed the organizer and planner for the affair, and she outdid herself that week. Not a thing went wrong that I could see. Then again, I was being carefully herded about by Low Note, Accurate Strike, and the other stallions of my guard force. My uncommon klutziness surged that week, finding myself doing all sorts of slips, trips, skips and impacts. They decided, for my own safety, I should spend the last day and a half before the wedding in the safest place in Ponyville- the hospital, under care of both Doctor Horse and Doctor Pacer. It worked in that I was able to show up at my wedding unmarred, unmussed and unruffled. What was not obvious in the sunlight of the ceremony was that Accurate Strike was supporting me the whole way from the hospital to the green, because my knees were in full sponge rubber mode.
I slowly walked to my spot, my Best Stallion by my side. Looking over the crowd, I saw thousands of ponies waiting there, the Princesses up front along with some of the band. The rest of the band I knew were helping Silver Strings, along with the Ladies, except for Twilight. I waited, practicing relaxing mantras. “Easy, Tristan. You’ll make it. Only a few minutes more,” Strike whispered in my ear.
“Yeah, I know, Strike. It’s not that easy being here. I’ve never done this before,” I whispered back.
“You’ll never have to do this again. Think on that.”
“What, me think? At this time? I can’t, I’m deep in panic…” I managed to say.
I heard an organ start to play, and I saw at the back of the crowd the approach of the ladies. Silver Strings was resplendent in a silver metallic gown which glittered in the sunlight. The mares of the band were all clad in dresses that matched their fur, and the ladies were just plain stunning, even Rainbow Dash.
Slowly, they marched up the aisle, the flower fillies doing their job. The ring bearer was in position, holding the pillow with the matching rings. Princess Cadance took her position when Silver Strings reached the podium.
“We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of this stallion and this mare,” I remember hearing before all the sounds just faded to a meaningless drone and the sight of Princess Cadance got fuzzy along the edges. The next thing I remember clearly is being asked if I wanted Silver Strings to be my wife. I think I said, ‘I do’, but I can’t swear to it.
I clearly heard Silver Strings say her ‘I do’, then I was told to put the ring on her horn as she put one on mine. Shakily, I got the ring up. As we slid the rings on, from somewhere we heard a loud brass band start up and someone singing ‘… he slips it on her horn and the choir begins to sing! Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor on The Bedpost Overnight?’ quite loud, clearly audible throughout all Ponyville.
Back behind the seated audience, I could see said brass band and Discord, dressed in a tuxedo that changed color every second or two. I looked at him, he looked at me, the band stopped, and he said “What? Were you expecting ‘A Lover’s Concerto’?”
All my nervousness fell away as I just lost it, laughing like I have never laughed before, as did everypony else up on the stage and quite a few down in the seating area. I laughed until I was blue in the face (yeah, like THAT is very hard…) before shouting out, “Thank you, Discord!” He bowed, gestured with a walking stick that wasn’t there a second before, and vanished, along with the brass band.
After that, the party started in earnest. Pinkie Pie outdid herself with the party, everypony had fun, and the food was just excellent. All too soon, it was time to end the party. That was a good thing, because all the dancing we did tired me out. We managed to get into the house, leaning on each other, loudly thanking the crowd for turning out. Instead of going UP to the master bedroom, we went DOWNstairs to one of the spare bedrooms, which was much quieter. I refuse to fully describe our wedding night, but I will say Isolde was born about a year later. Draw your own conclusions, folks. Details are MINE!
Fifteen years.
Fifteen years since the wedding. We can’t believe where all the time has gone. We still live in the same house, added to because of Isolde, Silver Wire and Satin Blush. Isolde is fourteen, Silver Wire my ten-year-old colt, and Satin Blush my little pink filly of five years.
I still tour with The Wonders, but only twice a year. The records are pressed and out and are still selling well. Where I’m really raking in the bits are from the magirad patents and the telephone company. Phone service is in place between and within the major cities and spreading through the rural areas. Thank goodness Silver Strings figured out a means to dial a specific number without needing a unicorn to make the connection. That switchboard idea was giving me nightmares!
I was once offered a chance to head home, no questions asked. I thought for about a femtosecond before declining Discord’s offer. I’m so much happier here as a father, inventor, musician and teacher than I ever was back there, an aging civil servant with a glioblastoma in his brain.
Yes, teacher. I substitute at the Ponyville school, and guest lecture at Twilight Sparkle’s School of Friendship. I can get along with anypony, even Maud Pie. We talk rockology every once in a while. Still have not got her to smile, but I’m in no hurry. I’m just as willing to learn from her than I am from anypony else.
Excuse me, the phone is ringing. Wonder who needs me now. At least it’s not a loud bell. “Station calling, go ahead… Yes, Fluttershy, I should be ready in about five minutes… Yes, I will reserve you tickets for the next show run, and you can ride with us. Isolde is willing to fill in for you. Okay, Fluttershy. Dinner tomorrow? Good! I’ll tell Strings to set another plate for you. Okay, bye!”
Sorry about that, Joe. I don’t have much time left on the chip, so let me reiterate the instructions to you. You’re the executor of my estate there, because you’re the only one I trusted with my passcodes. My instructions boil down to this- take what you would like and donate the rest. I don’t care who or what you donate it to, just get rid of the stuff. Of course, tell nobody about what you’ve heard on this phone. In fact, the smart thing to do is download it to your desktop and chuck the phone out in the Thames or the Sound.
There is absolutely no way I am going to go back to Earth, even if I could. Glioblastoma will lead to a miserable life. I don’t want that, especially after all the news coverage about Senator McCain a couple months back for you, a long time for me.
Discord has promised me that this phone will be put back in the car, in the door pocket where I usually leave it. How he twists time, I have no mortal idea, Joe. Then again, he IS inexplicable. I’m just glad I can call him a friend. He suggested I leave this testament to you, as a form of closing the door and locking it. My life here is too good to walk away from, especially when it leads to certain death.
Okay, Joe. I trust you to get everything done seeing as I am going to be declared ‘missing and presumed dead’. Hell, dead is what I would have been, had I not come here. I wish you could meet my wife and kids. You’ll like them. Be well and have a good life.
I sighed as I shut off the phone’s record function after a very lengthy dictation. I checked it over one last time, making sure nothing had decayed or deteriorated (which I knew full well it hadn’t) and that the files were intact.
Taking out a sheet of paper and a pencil, I wrote on it, ‘Joe Abraxos’ on one side and 10974 on the other side. I then took the phone and tucked it into the paper after folding it. “Okay, Discord. All’s ready for you.” I called out.
Discord appeared in the office, holding a cup of tea. “Took you long enough to call, Tristan. I decided to brew some tea while I was waiting,” he told me as he sipped from the cup.
“Just being thorough, Discord. Now, when you go to where and when I was before I came here, go to the little blue car that should be no more than a hundred feet away. Open the door on the driver’s side and slip this into the pocket at the bottom of the door. With luck, my missing an appointment will be enough to start a search for me,” I told him, hoofing over my phone.
“No need to worry, Tristan. It will be put in the right place, at the right time. You’ll have the tickets, yes?”
“Of course. My word has always been good. You know that. Besides, Fluttershy just called me. She knows, too,” I told the draconequus.
“Good! She will enjoy her birthday present from me. Now, to go put this here it should go,” he told me before disappearing, his teacup remaining exactly in place where he had left it, steaming gently, hovering in midair with no visible means of support. Fifteen seconds later, Discord returned, dripping wet, leaving water on the rug as he retrieved his tea. “You could have told me it was raining!”
