I'm 23 years old and I watched MLP Season 1 to 7 at least four times and I'm currently watching Season 8. I like to write stories and I hope the reader enjoys it
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Gallbar51 stories ·141 members
The first exams are due at the School of Friendship and Gallus needs help with a subject.
Luckily Sandbar offers his help.
Can they work together to pass the exams? Is Sandbar able to help his friend? But how will this all work out? And how will those feelings they have for each other play into the mix?
We will see!
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I think this is a promising story so far
8862389
Thanks. I really hope it will stay a good story ^^
Okay I really like the idea that the characters only teach classes one day a week. That would explain a lot.
8866617
Yeah xD I spend more time walking to school every week than they spend in school xD
I like the story thus far, but the present tense(using "says" instead of "said", or "replies" instead of "replied", for example) is a little odd, and for a character thinking one should really use italics instead of quotation marks(so when Gallus was thinking that he felt like an idiot, it should read like I would look like a complete idiot. But... that's exactly what I am when I'm confronted with Generosity.) Using italics instead of quotations help to keep things clear on when a character is speaking VS. thinking, and will avoid confusing the reader.
I can't wait to see this continue! GallusXsandbar is my favorite pairing out of the 'student six' characters, and I'm glad to see more and more people pick up on writing for this pairing. They're so cute together, and I like your interpretation of Gallus' character.
8866820
Oh thank you very much for the advice :)
I will try to change^^
I saw the promo for the new season and when I saw them my heart melted.
SHIP SHIP SHIP!
I'm really excited to see where this story goes, keep up the good work ^^.
8890123
Thank you very much :) I'll try my best. The summaries of the chapters are done so I think I know how this story will go. Hope I don't disappoint anyone ^^
Okay, I love the Gallus and Sandbar ship, I admit. Your sentences can be worded more smoothly but you have the right flow of story going, keep writing! I'd really like to read more.
8906504
Thank you very much^^ Yeah, english isn't really my native language but I really like writing and talking in english. Hope I don't disappoint you
8906669
If you need any help on editing with future stories, you can ask me! I'll be willing to fix up a few sentences and choice of words for you. Just let me known whenever
8907931
Thank you for your offer!
I hope it's not that bad... 🙈
8907987
Like I said, just a few awkward sentences imo and a few spelling errors. Your ideas and story flow are actually pretty good! :D
Oh my god, this best fic i've read of these two (gallus x sandbar) gah! the characterization is amazing.
is fauna a cousin of pinkie pie? cause of her reaction to sandy liking the griffon.
what country are you from? since english isn't your first langue. pm me your reply, if you can:)
8951520
The world is pretty small so it would not surprise me if they were related.
Thank you so much! I really want to keep the characters the way they are because I like them this way^^
I require more of this! Can't wait til the next one comes out, keep up the good work!
I found your fanfic and I could not stop reading until I finished the 8 chapters. It's great :)
I love how you take the time to develop the relationship between them. And I hope that following the last episode of the series, you include that Gallus has no family.
I really want to see how Sandbar reacted before that news.
Good luck with the fanfic ;)
This is something I can't completely agree upon, but I often have the same reaction and sometimes find the school a bit....well not exactly needed. However there are some creatures who at least gain something from the experience of being together with other creatures.
With hippogrif you meant Gallus right? or was it Silverstream? I honestly forgot what they named themself and I think for a short time there was a small debate about the griffons name.
Okay my first thought was right it'S Silver.
Especially for some creatures there is something to learn yes, but what do you seriously want to teach them for a longer period than a a month or two?
It is like just collecting a bunch of situations or picking it really appart and trying to cover every situation.
a) accepting it?
b) being very annoying for a long time till you get what you want.
Isn't that a possible result of "if someone doesn't want my gift and I keep bugging him?).
Not sure why I get those thoughts today, but this sounds like the pony version where they think something like that is a matter of life and death.
Nice enough first chapter. I had my fun with it and it is really not bad. I finally have read everything else I had to read and finally reaced this story.
I care for the other stories as well, but there are just some stories that can sometimes feel more like work than entertaining, they have some good parts in them but also some more boring aspects or something like that if you know what I mean.
I also have some stories wherre I just can expect something that suddenly turns it into something bad for the moment.
8866617
I didn't saw it but the story said they have only class one time in the week?, yep that would probably explain a lot.
I mean how else are they still able to either have a personal life or care for their animals and stuff like that.
I'm not exactly seeing him as a jerk, maybe a bit confused, a bit like Gilda because he doesn't knows it better anda part of me thinks, that if you would combine Gallus poin of view (black) and Rarity's point of view (white), then you would get (grey) how it would work the best.
I know it doesn't applies there, but when he said lending someone money, I thought of course and the next day I don't find him anywhere or the number and adress I got to get my money back is wrong (maybe he meant doing it with a friend). The giving what you like away....depending on what it is I would maybe rather try to find a different way to help them or something similar good.
However I'm a bit uuuuhhhhh ....let's say on the funny side and like to make a fun out of taking this a bit more serious than needed at the moment, but I have my fun with it.
I think I will like the whole story.
I honestly didn't saw him doing anything like that.
I thought he never did anything in the class at all.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, maybe it's because I don't want to feed her ego, but somehow I think calling her the expert here isn't completely right, but she knows the most I suppose.
well I had nothing to add here.
Are all of the thoughts from Sandbar here? half of the chapter I thought it was from Gallus.
I kind of liked this chapter, I stopped at some parts maybe, but it was not enough for me to be mentioned here.
Okay I give you the short version and more when you ask since I just forgot to post the comment i prepared when I had nothing else to add to it.
I think at some parts of the chapter, maybe even others too, it's hard to tell if someone else is talking/thinking. I mean at some point I notice "oh it was that guy," but once in a while i keep thinking if I was maybe wrong about some other parts to. I mean when I thought he was thinking, was maybe the other one thinking something?
Like when I was suprised why Gallus was saying he was falling for the guy "again", since I thought i saw him having the thought for the first time and only Sandbar having those crazy heartbeat moments.
I feel like giving you an extra
, because one of your characters actually thought about something like that. I mean I know many situations, half of them probably including Cadance, who would be less sensible and understanding with this situation in some stories.
Normally I don't like it when they do that, but you somehow did something right here because I like it. I guess I really only had bad examples in most stories.
nope no magic sixed sense please.
I liked the scary griffon.
I think I will be pretty happy with the shipping.
I enjoyed this chapter and that Smolder wasn'T jumping to conclusion right away. I never liked it when the story/character pretend that they would know that two characters are in love and all that stuff, mostly even before they know it themself.
Since nobody's leaving any about this chapter I will...such beautiful character interactions & development.
especially love the scene when sandbar talks about designing clothes and gallus doesn't make fun of him for his interest:)
aww sandy admits he loves gallus
p.s: I had those thoughts several hours ago but didn't comment until now.
So sweet, these two wholesome boys really are really lovely together.
I just want a more sarcastic Gallus from time to time.For a second I thought my greatest fear came true, that the cutiemap was included in this story.
yeah well I guess he can really refrain from listening to the history of needles.
I wanted to say something about the bathroom scene, I hope no matter what you make Gallus learn, he never completely stops to act like himself and do stuff like that to other, that will make it more cute if he is nice to Sandbar.
I think it's save to say now that I really enjoy this story. It was a good chapter.
I allow myself to leave an upvote this time.
I require MORE of this, loving it! Keep up the good work!
This is literally one of the only things keeping me ALIVE after I finished reading the "Brushed Away" franchise (By TheVClaw)
Please post more often....um...if you want to.....
9143599
Me too, I just noticed how much I actually like it when i was reading a story about those six, I suddenly wanted to read more here.
-------------------------------------------
I think I would be interessted in a sequel where they are maybe grown up, meet again and decite to live together or something.
Maybe make it three stories and we have somthing in the middle leading to them living together and then adopting someone.
As much as I like them, I think I want to avoid including the main six in the sequels.
Sometimes as much as I like them, it's nice to get a break from them. I mean it could be because of how or what others always include when they write about them.
Meh, you just want something different from time to time.
9154022
You raise a good point, it would definitely be interesting if there was like a sequel taking place in the future where the young 6 are all grown up and they meet each other again (implying that they have not seen each other in a long time)
OOOOO! That DOES sound fun! Ohmigosh it would be interesting to see how like they've changed since they were younger. You know like what they do now and how they act around eachother (Ships *hint hint*)
9148507
I am working on it as often as I can ^^ And I will try my best to post something as soon as it's done! I am glad you like it
9157773
Thanks! Looking forward to it! SO EXCITEEEED!!!!
When is the new chapter coming up? ^-^
9194610
Yeeeeeessssss!! When *IS* the next chapter coming uuuuuupp???
9197619
9200174
You two seem to be very excited^^ I think today should be the day or tomorrow... I need my test-reader's answer first.
It's a pretty long one so it took some time but I like it the way it is
9200642
I bet it's good! :33 uff, I'm really getting into that ship ;D <3
9200646
Glad you are^^ I got into it the first time I saw them
But looks like the show is currently supporting Gallus X Silverstream (at least a bit)
9200651
I've seen that. Just because of a hug .-. Sandbar X Gallus is best gay ship ^~^
9200653
Yeeees
And it would make way more sense.
The season was about accepting differences and having the first canon gay couple or characters would have made great stories^^
9200693
Indeed! :D I wish it would be official.
9200791
IM SOOOOOOO EXCITEEEEEED!!! Like all the time. About everything. WOW! I agree too honestly because THEY ARE. THE. BEST. SHIP. EVEEEEEEEEEERERRRR
9201713
yASS! :3
I LOVED THE NEW CHAPTER -
kEEp iT uP !1!1 <3
9202545
OMIGOSH YESSSSSSS!! WOW IM SUPER CRAZZZZZZEDDD RIGHT NOWEEEEEEE!!! THATS SOOO CUTEEEEEEE!!!!!