• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen May 1st

MisterMoniker


What the hell is a pony?

T
Source

Even in the land of Equestria, with a powerful princess leading the nation, some citizens live their lives lost and neglected by the society around them. Unnoticed among the thousands of ponies working, playing, and laughing during the day, at night they may have an odd encounter.

Under the quiet blanket of night, a leader continues to watch over her little ponies.

----

Image courtesy of AllisZero on DeviantArt. Check out that gallery!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 119 )

Luna as the matron saint of the weak and downtrodden? Someone else with my headcanon, then.

I just wanna swoop in and save that poor filly from her terrible life in the city!!!:fluttercry: I must keep reading to see if she gets to ever have a savior!! :flutterrage:

When I read, "the Big Apple," I immediately imagined a bigger version of Big Macintosh, except with a business suit and a terrible lust for bits. Haha!

Well, the fic has a good setup for a dystopia. Manehattan can go eat hay. :ajbemused:

Not bad. Not bad at all. It's always nice to see a story that closely resembles the human world and its economic corruptions. I also enjoy the idea of the young, innocent orphan. I see plenty of room for development in here, which is what any good fic needs.

919271
Luna is best princess, of course.
919274
Don't fret.
919533
That's definitely going in one of my fics.
919543
Thanks very much. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

919575If you like Princess Luna that much, you should go check out my Princess Luna fic. I'm revamping it in prep for submission to EQD, but I can let you know when that is done, so you can enjoy it to the fullest. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png

My intreats has been aroused. Looking forward to seeing the next installment.

This is clearly Lunar republic propaganda!

just thought I'd say so.

Eagerly awaiting the next installment! :pinkiehappy:

919658
Should be up soon. Thanks for reading!
919883
I smell a Solar Empire spah...
920072
Me, too. :derpytongue2:

Good stuff, here. I'm looking forward to more. Don't disappoint me.

More good stuff! :yay: Well,, I wish to know more.
919274 Agreed, on both points.

919575

Even when she's doing nothing and just being a plot device. :rainbowlaugh:

...Just like her sister. :fluttershbad:

For srs, they both deserve an episode and a chance to be badass.

A very saddening, but true story. Life in the city isn't fair, as you portrayed. I applaud you for this story, and wish to see how this progresses. The two foals seem nice enough, and i have a feeling this'll turn out kind of like the movie, "Slumdog Millionaire". Brilliant movie, and this is the brilliant story. Continue onward!

Excellent job M2. I like it, I likes it a lots.

920165
...Okay. :fluttershbad:
920648
And on my honor, YOU WILL.
921339
Very much agreed.
921744
You got it!
921829
Hey, thanks! Ooh! I have a nickname now. Nicknames are cool.

You certainly know how to make descriptions interesting to read, they make my mind create connections between the described thing and the surroundings/the world around it. It helps imagining a world breathing and living beyond the sight of the narrator, not just a big blot of "here be dragons" on the map. Like this one:
"On his pale green flank was a series of thin scars – whatever his cutie mark had been, he either hadn’t been happy with it or the local color had found it amusing to carve away his dreams after a fight."

Princess Luna! a poor little pony needs your help!!

953066
Thanks again for your input. It's good to hear people appreciating not just the story, but how it's written.

1552286
THERE'S NO NEED TO FEAR

Lulz br0 u totaly stoled this hole idae fro mthe last episode. get out u haK. go writ som Litlest Pet shoop ficshun or somthng k? k

:trollestia:

1765501

It makes me so HAPPY AND PISSED OFF AT THE SAME TIME.

919630Can I have a source for that pic?

1765501That made me laugh more than it should have.:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::trollestia::moustache:

This is a good portrayal of a dystopic city where the bourgeoisie basically rules over the proletariat. There needs to be a spread of power, money, and food. Capitalism is what drove Manehattan into that state. It must be replaced with the Communist way!

...

...

Okay. I need to be serious and not try to act like something I don't believe or even properly know of. This story, it is a well written story. I really feel sorry for that young filly. It makes me wish that someone would take her under their wing. As far as I can tell, Luna will only help her through her dreams and they will not meet in person. I could be wrong of course, but it would fit this story's apparent style.

1766398
Well, hey, the new update should be up in a few hours, give or take. Let's see what you think after that.

Also, thanks for the opinion on the proletariat being crushed under the massive wheels of industry. :rainbowwild:

Wow. This isn't bad at all. Feels like it's set quite a bit in the future, but with the offhand mention of :pinkiehappy: probably not that far. I like the grungy atmosphere. Also, the cut away / scarred cutie mark isn't something I've seen done in a fanfic before. I like the concept. It works here.

And that's the new chapter. I went through quite a few drafts of it before deciding to draw out Lily's story a bit longer. Back when I started writing, her story was going to end in the first chapter! It's funny how things change as soon as you start putting pen to paper. Metaphorically, anyway.

This chapter ended up getting cut short as I was working on it, too. It was just getting too long in my opinion. Fortunately, that means that I'm already well underway with Chapter 3, and the update for it probably won't take five months. A novel idea, I know.

Thanks Sabre, for pre-reading for me. We should go hang out and drop some meticulous syntax for sicknasty kickback beats together.

Sweet new chapter. It kinda gives a little tease into what its like in Manehattan, making this much more enjoyable to read, yes?

1769671
Thanks man. I hope you like where I take it.

1769955
Haha, thank you. The story will be returning to this area pretty frequently, so I wanted to get a little world-building in.

1769984 Sweet, sounds nice! Can't wait to see this get fleshed out!

So wait, all of that before was a dream? Or is Moonlight Gardens the dream?

1770355
That is exactly the sort of question I want to hear while I'm writing this.

1770438Because of how you had her 'wake up' in MG it lends to idea that Manehattan wasn't real and that she has only been asleep so far. However in my experience, you are just as likely to wake up in a dream and think that the real world is just a dream. I've had dreams like that.

That feel when this story is supported by canon.

Luna loves all the little children.

Not my usual cup of tea in terms of fiction choice, but this is good enough that I'm going to stick with it to the resolution.

"Years of filth and anguish was washed"
"were washed"

I'll give this story a chance, but if it's another 5 months til' the next upload i'm out.

I very much like this story, I find it fascinating. The whole Luna-sponsored orphanage thing, I have seen before, what I'm really liking at the moment is the fact that you didn't put Scootaloo in here. As much as I love Scoots, she just shows up in EVERY fic involving orphans. Keep up the good work, I plan to leave regular comments per chapter!

Beautiful.
Simply. Beautiful.

Hmm. I think that this happened:

When the other colts knocked her out, that sent her to the "Dream Dimension", which allowed Luna to talk to her. She disguised herself as the blue colt, and helped heal her mind, as she was carried away into the orphanage in the middle of the night. Now, she's woken up, and she's able to begin a new life in the orphanage, which Luna is helping to serve its purpose of saving those fillies and colt's lives.

1858069
Thanks for giving it a shot. :pinkiesmile:

1858425
Ah, nice catch.

1858430
Don't worry.

1858512
Thanks very much! I don't think Scoots will be making an appearance.

1858983
Thank you! Smart cookie over here.

Luna being awesome yay I love story's where she isn't portrayed as a stuck up btich.

Luna is my fav charter keep up the good work

First chapter set the scene, second captured my interest. Can't wait to see where you go with it. :twilightsmile:

Ooooo This is interesting can't wait for more

1766398 *reads the first paragraph and gasps!* A COMMUNIST SYMPATHIZER!!! *beats you with a railroad tie!*

Die, red devil!! Huh... there's another paragraph? *reads* Oh... uhm... *pokes your somewhat squishy body, which has taken a rather beanbag-and-jello-like consistency* No hard feelings?

:trollestia:

>>>She had been down the slides once before, but a nasty-looking police pony had chased her back to the entrance. He had bellowed as she ran about making sure the “trash” stayed outside the gate.>>>

*Alondro eye-narrows dangerously* I'm sure Celestia will be interested to know how the 'defenders of the law' are behaving... *Alondro is one of Celestia's secret agents, who scout about on the lookout for ponies who have let chaos and disharmony rule them! Such ponies are a risk, as they might allow Discord to escape, and thus they must be... dealt with.*

:trollestia:

1860669There are stories like that? Wow. Most I've seen portray either as a kind, enthusiastic, and slightly ill adjusted to modern society princess or be over adjusted to modern society and have he r be relaxed, enthusiastic, fun loving, and pop culture spewing princess who loves the espresso.

1890307No hard feelings per say, just a lot of squishy, hate filled ones. I don't take kindly to being mashed to a pulp with railroad ties.

as soon a I saw the capitals come in, I was like.
Oh boy here we go =3

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