• Member Since 23rd May, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Speedy Silverstreak


Sleep is a thing right?

Comments ( 55 )

I read his story and I can't tell you glad ai am that you write a story where they get saved. Silver Death, make their captors and kidnappers pay!

Ah, it's finally up then. I'll tell be interesting to see how this plays out.

8246601
I gave you your credit as well in this story. I made sure you get attention as well. Just think that this would never of happened if you didn't let me write it.

8246618
I saw the credit, and I really appreciate it. Good luck on the story :twilightsmile:

Poor Speedy, loosing somebody close is never easy but he will be always in his heart

8379644
He lost a lot to his heart. Both parents , brother, and grandparents

8379678
Yet, this makes it more of a goal to rescue the foals

can you tag the story its based on in the description?

Keep it up

I enjoy necessary evil story

But still you did it, I knew you could do it! As German myelf, you did really well with the German words and accent. Up for a race, huh? Makes me think of the Need for Speed games.

8575316
Favorite game series. Glad to make this chapter to your approval my freund

8575930
Your're welcome, keep up the good work! And don't let the dislikes get you down. My first NFS was Hot persuit 3 for PC. Affter that came both Underground games, Most wanted from 2005 and Hot persuit of 2010 as well as rivals.

And without involving me for edits? For shame!

8587462
fair enough, but you don't have to post it right away, y'know?

8587543
I promised within a week. Plus that late it would've took hours to contact you

Okay but i'm impressed that your German is Without Errors, rare to See in englisch Speakers. Does Speedy Cheat to win or is he just Lucky?

Anyway, 2 free, One to Go, Great Work!

Challenge accepted! But you have to wait until later. Speedy can be proud of himself and the Main 6 will be grateful, no Doubt. A Revolver...Revolver Speedy. Get it?

crime. The enemy never dies with honor. Only through his blood the hero will bring peace. Police

8622959
By the way, get the reference in my revolver comment?

8622969
Metal gear, Revolver Ocelot, dues that ring any bells?

8622979
OKay, then let me explain. In the first metal gear game, you fight a man, using a Revolver, called Relover Ocelot.

The way he introduced himself to the player character, my comment with the revolver was a reference to that. Imagine Speedy spins his revolver and says "Revolver Speedy" in the same way as Ocelot did as he introduces himself to the bad guys.

8623063
Killing my reference, coudn't help myself but that Speedy would introduce himself in the same Way as ocelot with the Revolver, that's Why i wrote Revolver Speedy

8651103
Have you not read The Cutie Mark Crusaders new lives by Theponycaptorproject yet?

8651301
Well this is what it's based off of. I suggest you read that as well.

I have a soft spot for revenge stories so I'm going to leave some tips here for you. Firstly, learn about the golden rule of writing 'show don't tell'. Write in descriptions for the readers to 'see' not tell them what's happening or what's around them. I'm pretty poor in this regard too unfortunately but I'm still practicing. Secondly, don't be so quick to gloss through the story. Stories like these are often emotional and deep. Give us more insight into the characters and one way you can do this is by putting in more dialog. You want us to emphatize with the protagonist and feel justified in his acts of violence, perhaps even cheer him on. For example, the part with Scoot and Star could have been sweetened even more if Silver had found her pimp beforehand, tortured and killed him, then proceed to save Scoot. Beating up random faceless thugs are just bonus points but we do not relish in their suffering because they're just cogs in a story. Also, Silver's backstory could use a little more substance, like why he does what he does, what happened to him after the incident, and how damaged it has left him as an individual. Thirdly, you might want to revisit your technology in this story, because you have to remember that this story takes place in Equestria, not the USA. It's shaping up well, you just need to polish it up.

8799073
I appreciate the advice. As for the Equestria/USA thing with the tech I kinda had a soft spot for both cars and GTA so I mainly just put a "alt universe" tag just in case

Approximately when will the next. Chapter be put or is it done

Good job! And Speedy’s fighting for a good cause. Onyx forgot one importnant rule: Know yourself and your enemy or you will sucumb in every battle

This was honestly out lf the blue.
I like it. Nice suprise to see the old three f#$ks

Your very welcome but you should go over the pharagraps again, the lines when they talk.

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