Hunting the Fallen
Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant
Chapter 11
Hunting the Fallen
General Wrath marched across the squadron of pegasi, meeting the eyes of each one with a withering stare. The mares and stallions stared back, unflinching. Each one was armed and armored to teeth; the combination of half-plate, a short sword, spear, and crossbow along with a soldier’s standard travel pack would have strained the average pony to carry over a long journey. The innate magic of the pegasi helped carry substantial loads across the sky as if they were made of paper or cotton, but the mission ahead could require days of sustained air travel, followed by a desperate battle against a cornered opponent. Wrath searched each of her ponies for any signs of lax preparation or uncertainty, looking for any excuse to send them back to the barracks. To her satisfaction, she found none.
Until she reached the end of the line, at least.
Supposedly alicorns grew taller than other mares, but one wouldn’t guess as much from the lavender Princess at the edge of the formation. Twilight Sparkle cut a slim figure next to the equine soldiers even before taking their gear into account. She was wearing her saddlebags and a thin weather tunic, and unlike the troops standing at attention she had a book levitating in front of her during inspection.
“So… did you want some armor or something? I know your talents don’t revolve around physical combat but we’re hunting for rogues and dragons, not going for a picnic.” It didn’t bother Wrath too much that Twilight didn’t display the martial discipline she was used to, and this wasn’t the first time she’d had a charge who wasn’t a hardened warrior, but Twilight’s role wasn’t limited to being their magic compass, either.
Twilight lowered her book and shook her head. “No thank you. My wings aren’t as well developed as yours, especially since I was injured recently. I imagine it’s going to be hard enough to keep up with all of you even with a light pack!”
“Light pack… right…” Wrath tilted her head slightly to look at Twilight’s saddlebags, which were stuffed to bursting with scrolls. “We’ll get a head start by using a mass teleport spell to Coltson, but after that we will have a lot of flying to do. Why are you bringing all those writing supplies, anyway?”
“I plan on checking my heading frequently as we’re traveling,” the Princess explained, flipping around the book she had been reading. It turned out to be a collection of local regional maps complete with travelers’ notes. “If I take enough readings and then see a gradual or sudden shift in direction, then it may help us triangulate his ultimate location or find one of his teleport monoliths.”
“Just to be clear, we only have his direction? That’s how this sense of yours works?” Wrath asked.
“To be extra-clear, the sense gives me the direction of the artifact, not Blood Rite. We’d expect them to be in the same place, of course, but it is possible they’ll be separate,” Twilight explained.
Wrath grimaced. “I hadn’t considered that. That means it’s all the more likely we’re soaring into a trap.”
“For what it’s worth, I disagree,” Twilight retorted, closing her book and sending it back to her bag on an arc of violet magic. “I don’t think this is a trap. Rite isn’t playing a long game anymore. As his plans have unraveled further and further his attacks have become more… aggressive and desperate. He’s looking for an opportunity to strike and complete his objective, not playing for time or whittling away at Equestria’s forces.”
“And what if you’re wrong? What if YOU become the opportunity to strike after being captured by the magic rock?” Wrath asked, quirking an eyebrow.
“He had me before. He didn’t take advantage of it.” Twilight shrugged. “I could still be wrong, of course. My memories of being captured are pretty hazy. But it sure seems like he wants to keep me out of his rebellion as much as possible.”
“Well, then it’s just about time we ruined his day.” General Wrath turned around and spread her wings wide. “All right, ponies! Let’s soar! For Canterlot and Equestria!”
“FOR CANTERLOT AND EQUESTRIA!!”
Celestia caught a glint of reflected sunlight out of the corner of her eye, and she turned her head to the window to watch the formation of winged ponies soar away from Canterlot Castle. She released a tired sigh upon spotting a pair of purple wings among them. In the end, Twilight hadn’t reconsidered. Celestia hadn’t seriously expected her to back down, but she still felt like this mission was a mistake.
“I know you worry for her, but take heart, Tia,” Luna reassured her. She was sitting at the other end of their dining room table, munching on her breakfast (her last meal before bed, typically). “Blood Rite has evaded judgment thus far through careful planning and stealth. Now that his location is exposed he cannot hide from us. Twilight Sparkle will prevail.”
Celestia shook her head and returned to her own meal. “It isn’t just the confrontation that I’m worried about, Luna.”
“Aye, I know. You still feel that this conflict is your fault, don’t you?” Luna levitated her tea cup to her lips and took a long sip.
“Do you believe it isn’t?”
Luna slowly lowered her teacup, looking thoughtful. “Rebellion cannot happen without an authority to rebel against, but Rite’s plot has never felt like a true revolution,” the dark Princess mused. “He seeks no popular support. He brings no message to the masses. He doesn’t seek to undermine your authority, but to physically remove your claim to the throne with some incredible and unlikely magic solution. His plan would - in his view, at least - substantially improve the lives of Equestrians, but rather than make a case for his solution he plots in secret, supposing to overturn the royal order himself and impose his brighter future upon all.”
“He suffers silently far from prying eyes, sure that with enough work and the right magic he can fix everything on his own,” Celestia mumbled. “He was much the same even before he embarked on this ill-fated quest.”
“A testament to ego, not justice,” Luna sniffed. “Blood Rite wouldn’t dare try to explain his better future to the ponies who would live with it to try and earn their blessings. So he plans to bring it about by force, sure that he will be vindicated eventually.” She paused. “That is, of course, being generous and assuming he’s put great thought into his cause at all, and isn’t simply in thrall to his hated destiny.”
“He has. I’m sure of it,” Celestia protested. “These plans of his… they’re too extensive, too grand to be a mere impulse driven by his cutie mark. Rite isn’t simply trying to bring me down, although I’m sure his destiny pulls him toward that eventuality. He has something greater in store.”
“Greater than seizing the sun from Canterlot’s control? I shudder to think of it,” Luna mumbled before biting into an apple.
Kibitz entered the room during the lull in conversation, carrying another plate of pastries and two copies of the Canterlot Sun. “Good morning, your Highnesses!” he sang, cheerfully unaware of the topic that had just concluded. He levitated the plate into place and then turned to Princess Luna with a flourish and a glint in his eye. “And a hearty congratulations to you, Princess Luna! I just heard the news!”
Luna’s muzzle scrunched up, and Celestia blinked uncertainly.
“News? What news?” Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow. The “congratulations” suggested it was good news, and she could certainly use some of that.
“Ha ha ha! Very funny, Princess!” Kibitz wiggled his mustache and then floated the newspapers onto the table, dropping one in front of each alicorn. Each copy of the Canterlot Sun featured the headline “ROYAL WEDDING” in huge block text on the top, followed by the sub header “Beloved Princess of the Night to Wed Violent Arsonist.” Below that was an exquisite portrait of Luna next to a picture of Ranma’s bounty poster.
Celestia stared at the headline silently. After several seconds she levitated her tea to her lips, taking a long sip that completely drained the cup. Then she turned her head and spat it all out in shock.
Kibitz quickly raised a serving platter as a shield against the jet of steaming tea. “Ah. So you weren’t joking. Hmm.”
“What is the meaning of this?!” Celestia gasped, quickly wiping her mouth as her eyes bugged out at the headline.
“Could they really find no other image of Saotome aside from his bounty poster?” Luna griped, her ears falling flat. “And half the associated stories are about his crimes, of which he’s been pardoned! The state of the press these days!” She huffed and pushed away the newspaper.
Luna couldn’t help but feel Celestia’s incredulous gaze burning into her after that, and she cleared her throat lightly before she addressed her sister. “The, ah, gist of the story, however, is true. I am engaged to be married. The wedding is tomorrow."
“When did THIS happen?!” Celestia demanded, standing her forelegs on the dining table and spreading her wings.
“Yesterday,” Luna said. Then she shrunk back slightly. “Well, last night, to be more specific.” Her eyes darted away, suddenly finding a very interesting spot on the floor. “After you went to bed, I think.”
The elder Princess gaped at her little sister for several seconds, and then suddenly perked. “This is Discord’s doing, isn’t it?”
“Oh, sure, blame every little thing on Discord, why not?” The spirit of chaos rolled his eyes and threw his arms up, suddenly entering the room from behind a startled Kibitz. He sat down on one of the many empty chairs around the dining table and huffed as he poured himself some tea. “Never mind that your sister’s been pining over the ruffian for months. Never mind that she’s clearly a willing participant in this union. NEVER MIND that this is an occasion of love and romantic fulfillment that you’re trying to write off as some whimsical prank of mine! Hmph!”
He took a gentle sip of tea, and then put his cup down and started buttering a slab of toast. “Anyway, yes, it was entirely my doing, so what?”
“I knew it,” Celestia groaned, folding her wings and settling back into her seat. “I assume you’re also behind the press catching wind of this event before I did.”
“In my defense, I offered them a real photograph of Havoc, but they went with the bounty poster because it was more ‘eye-catching’ or something.” Discord shrugged and took a bite of toast. “Anyway, invitations were dispatched this morning. The dress fitting is in an hour. I got an early appointment so you could still get to bed by noon, your Night Highness.”
“That’s… surprisingly thoughtful of you,” Luna mumbled, her eyes darting back to her sister.
“Tut, tut! I want this ceremony to be a smooth success as much as anypony!” Discord insisted. “Considerably more than some ponies, technically!”
“Luna, please tell me you aren’t serious about this,” Celestia mumbled, massaging her head with a hoof.
“I… I am,” Luna admitted bashfully. “More serious than Discord is, at least. I realize that this may be some elaborate prank of his, but… but if it isn’t…”
Discord sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye. “Isn’t it beautiful?! The strength of a mare’s love can overcome any obstacle or justifiable skepticism!” Then his expression shifted and he swiveled around to smile at Celestia with his hands clasped together on the table. “Moving on. I have a question for you too, my dear Celestia.”
“No, I do not wish to marry Havoc as well,” Celestia deadpanned.
Discord silently pulled a notepad out of nowhere and flipped through the pages. Then he took out a pen and started scratching over several lines.
“You… You weren’t really going to ask that, were you?” Luna mumbled in growing concern.
“No, no, definitely not. Not at all.” Discord flipped to the next page, tore it out, and then incinerated it with a snap of his fingers. “Anyway, what I was ACTUALLY going to ask was: do you think you could officiate the ceremony?”
“What? No,” the white Princess answered. Seeing the others recoil slightly in surprise, she added. “To be clear, I believe this is all some elaborate joke you’re playing on my little sister, but unlike her I’m not going to be a willing participant in some overcomplicated mockery of her feelings.” She paused to take another sip of tea, and then glowered further at the draconequus. “I will attend this ceremony, assuming it actually occurs, but as a guest.”
“That seems reasonable,” Luna mumbled, only to have Discord interrupt.
“Tia, I’m shocked! The most important, happiest day of your sister’s immortal life, and you’re treating it as a bad joke?” he gasped.
“I’m only going at all in the hopes that it’s a good joke,” Celestia deadpanned.
“Well… I didn’t want to do this, but I suppose I have no choice,” Discord sighed. “You remember that you owe me a favor, right?”
Celestia gasped while she was taking another drink, and then started coughing while she spat up her tea again. Kibitz quickly raced behind her and started slapping her on the back (incidentally moving himself well out of the splash zone).
“She does? For what?” Luna asked suspiciously.
“For helping her with this MacGuffin thing.” Discord smirked at the Princess of the Sun while she caught her breath. “You don’t think I forgot about that, did you?”
“THIS is your favor?” Celestia asked incredulously. “You’re going to make me perform your probably-fake wedding?”
“No, I’m going to make you perform Luna’s definitely-real wedding,” Discord retorted. “Is that a problem?”
The white alicorn’s eyes narrowed. “If I recall correctly, I have the right to refuse this request.”
“You do, but are you really going to do so for something like this?” the spirit of chaos chuckled and shrugged his arms. “Conducting a wedding ceremony for your own sister isn’t THAT objectionable, is it?”
Celestia growled, ruffling the feathers of her wings and puffing up her cheeks. Then, after several seconds, she deflated with a defeated sigh. “Fine. Have it your way. I’ll officiate. I can think of plenty of worse things you could have asked for.”
“So can I, and believe me, I’m very disappointed that I won’t get the chance.” Discord suddenly pushed himself back and hopped up, rubbing his mismatched hands together. “Well then, I’ll leave you ladies to your meal. I have some additional planning to get to!”
“And what would that be?” Celestia grumbled. “Renting a venue? Catering?”
“Oh, no, I already took care of all that. At this point I just have to let the groom know he’s getting married.” Discord strolled out of the dining room, blowing a kiss to the perturbed equines on his way out. “Ta-ta! See you tomorrow at noon sharp!”
Celestia was still gaping wordlessly long after the door slammed shut. Luna quietly went back to her breakfast, a blush coloring her face. Kibitz wondered if he should withdraw; the good news he’d innocently brought up had turned out to be a great deal more complicated than he could have anticipated.
Eventually the Princess of the Sun shook her head, breaking out of her stunned stupor. “Let the GROOM KNOW?!” Her wings suddenly spread out again, nearly knocking Kibitz over. “Havoc doesn’t KNOW? About HIS OWN WEDDING?! The wedding TOMORROW?!”
“Ugh, I know. I can’t believe he’s leaving that part for last,” Luna groaned while dabbing her mouth with a floating napkin. Celestia started sputtering, and Luna quickly hopped out of her chair and trotted toward the door. “Anyway I have to get to that dressmaker. Thank you, Tia! I’ll see you tonight!”
“Luna, wait! Did Havoc-“ Celestia had barely begun to speak before her sister vanished in a burst of shadowy blue, leaving her alone with Kibitz.
“Well… anyway, I hope you all have a nice time.” Kibitz slowly moved to withdraw himself from the room, grabbing Luna’s used tableware with his levitation and carrying them along with him.
“This is wrong, isn’t it? I’m not going crazy, am I?” Celestia asked, massaging her temples with her wingtips. “This morning my student left with a squad of soldiers to hunt down my ex-student who is trying to overthrow me alongside a royal dragon who also wants to be my suitor and they’re teleporting around the countryside to avoid running into a criminal who is no longer a criminal because two nights ago I pardoned him to keep my soldiers from fighting him but not because he was actually innocent and now that ex-criminal is my little sister’s fiancé except he might not know about it?!”
“And you got roped into being the marrying official because you recently risked asking Discord for help,” Kibitz added. "I think that about sums it up, yes.”
Celestia sighed again and folded her wings. There was a long pause while she considered the recent events, and then her eyes narrowed. “……… If this isn’t a prank, it means Luna will have found a special somepony and married him before I did,” she grumbled.
“Well you do keep rejecting those who are interested, your Highness,” Kibitz said. “Sometimes by imprisoning the suitor in grand displays of high magic. Some probably find it intimidating.”
“You are excused, Kibitz,” the white Princess said curtly, pouring herself more tea. “Have Raven meet with me at one o’clock today. It’s been nearly two decades since I’ve officiated a wedding and I need to rehearse. This is all a terrible idea and obviously some kind of crazy scheme, but at the very least I’ll be fulfilling my favor to the best of my abilities. I don’t want to give Discord an opportunity to demand another.”
“As you wish, your Highness.”
Sylvia Hawke was no stranger to rough times. From the days of her youth in the Griffon Kingdom, to her years carving out a criminal niche in Hoofington, to that disastrous weekend when a random stallion had broken into her home and she was brutalized by an enraged magician, the griffon ringleader had certainly suffered her share of shortfalls. Each time she’d bounced back, recovering her health, her status, and her assets to become stronger than before. After Ranma and Trixie had left her family beaten and her gang scattered it had been no small task to reassert control over her fellow roughnecks that had come to see her as a weak and vulnerable leader. The struggle had been vicious, and she’d expended a lot of favors and made more than a few unfavorable deals, but within a month of her galling defeat by the equine adventurers Mayor Hawke was back on top, ruling Hoofington with an iron claw.
So it was especially embarrassing and intensely frustrating when those ponies strolled back into town and once again scattered her gang like so many bowling pins.
The whistle of magical rockets came from outside, followed by the sharp, explosive bang of fireworks. Colored light flashed through the windows, and the terrified screams of stallions trailed off after the noisy cacophony.
Sylvia threw the curtains closed, and then jumped over her desk. Pinned to the wall at the back of her office was a very large crossbow, and next to it was an array of bolts. They varied in type, ranging from small oil-filled capsules atop metal ignition plugs to long shafts of metal sharpened and tapered to a needle point, but they were all nearly as thick as the griffon’s wrist and possessed the stopping power to knock over an enraged minotaur.
Another scream came from outside, followed by panicked wailing and begging. Sylvia couldn’t make out the words or put a name to the voice, which was unfortunate; a great deal of scathing recriminations were in order if she ended up having to reassemble her criminal organization again.
“Go to Equestria, they said. The ponies are so friendly and welcoming, they said!” Sylvia snapped a needle bolt into the crossbow and then pulled back the draw, locking it into place. “You won’t even have to worry about the guards; they’re pushovers! Bah!”
She placed the crossbow on her desk, hearing the wood creak slightly under the weight of it. Then she took careful aim at the door of her office, sweat crawling down her brow and neck.
Several seconds passed with no further sounds of mayhem. The distant wail of terrified, fleeing pony thugs was barely audible in the distance, but she pushed it out of her head. She would probably get only one chance to attack if the intruders headed to her office. It was a lot to gamble, but this situation had escalated much faster than last time and she had fewer options.
Sylvia heard the sound of a hoof tapping on the door to her office. “Hello Mayor Hawke. The Great and Powerful Trixie has an appointment with you,” sang a voice from the other side.
The door shuddered as it tried to open. The bar lock held firm. A moment later a pink magic field appeared around the locking bar and started to slide it out of the way. Sylvia gulped, but kept her nerve; such precise telekinesis use on something the user couldn’t even see was quite impressive, but she hadn’t seriously expected a locked door to delay the ponies for long anyway.
The door unlocked, and then swung wide open. A smirking unicorn in a purple hat and cape stood in the hall, and Sylvia pulled the crossbow’s trigger. The needle bolt flew across the room in an eye blink, plunging into the mare’s forehead.
The bolt stabbed deep into the wall, and the magic mirror it had shot through broke apart into motes of pink light.
“Heh. Works every time,” Trixie chuckled as she stepped around the corner and trotted forward, her horn wrapped in a sparkling pink glow. Another pony followed behind her, its entire body hidden under a cloak and hood matching the star-spangled design of Trixie’s hat and cape. Only a bit of gray muzzle poked out from the hood, bobbing slightly with each step.
Sylvia hissed and snatched another bolt from the wall behind her. At the same time, a pink magic aura wrapped around a different bolt with a knife-edged point and yanked it from the wall. As Sylvia slammed the next projectile into place, the floating bolt swung down and sliced through the crossbow’s drawstring, immediately rendering the device useless.
Trixie regarded the griffon with an impatient stare, her horn still blazing with magic. “Trixie will take her appointment here and now, Miss Hawke. You should be grateful that Trixie isn’t going to knock you out and drag you off first; it’s not as if you showed Trixie the same courtesy the last time she passed through your town.”
Sylvia glanced down at her broken weapon, and then up at the ponies waiting calmly in front of her door. Then she picked up the bolt and hurled it across the room at the cloaked figure.
“Please, stop embarrassing yourself.” Without the superior force of the crossbow to propel it, Trixie’s magic easily slowed the bolt’s path through the air and brought it to a stop just inches from its target. The hooded pony didn’t so much as twitch. Then the projectile accelerated back the other way, spinning toward Hoofington’s Mayor.
Sylvia recoiled with a nervous squawk, falling backward into her chair. The flung bolt struck the wall, bouncing off and landing haphazardly on the floor. A few shredded feathers floated to the carpet, but otherwise the griffon was unharmed.
Trixie shut the door behind her with another pulse of telekinesis, although her horn continued to glow afterward. Sylvia tried to school her features, regarding the intruder with an air of cold irritation.
“I’d hoped the previous time we met would be the last, Miss Trixie. I graciously neglected to send any hitmares after you to cut my losses and prevent any repeats of the last time you rampaged through my home.” A vein popped up on her head. “Yet here you are. To what do I owe this extraordinary displeasure?”
“Just some unfinished business,” Trixie said, glancing around the office. It was generously decorated, but there wasn’t much in the way of loose valuables out in the open; probably a necessity when one worked around a gang of thieves. In the corner of the office, just next to the weapons rack that was mounted on the back of the room, was a hefty wall safe.
Sylvia’s feathers prickled around her head and neck. “Like what? Regretting you didn’t finish off me and my only child the last time you bumbled through here?” Her eyes kept darting back at the hooded pony, watching for the slightest movement. She didn’t recall Ranma Saotome being so quiet last time he was here, but she also recalled that Trixie hadn’t been quite this bold and casually capable last time, either. Certainly the magician had still been arrogant, vicious, and resourceful back then, but it felt like she was dealing with an entirely different pony than the haughty entertainer who had been ambushed in her hotel room not too long ago.
“Oh, no, nothing like that. Trixie isn’t interested in taking your life,” the illusionist said, tsking calmly. “Granted, Trixie thinks Hoofington could probably do with a new Mayor and a cleanup of the local thieves’ guild, but that isn’t any of Trixie’s business.”
“From where I’m sitting, you don’t seem to have many qualms with sticking your snout where it doesn’t belong,” Sylvia sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
“What, did you forget the last time Trixie was here?” the azure mare asked, blinking her eyes innocently. “Trixie did leave you with a severe concussion before she left, so perhaps you don’t recall sponsoring the bandits who attacked Trixie’s wagon, having thugs kick Trixie’s door down, or using a magic ring to foalnap Trixie from her hotel room. But surely you should remember the ensuing fiasco after you tried to enslave Trixie and held her at knifepoint against Trixie’s bodyguard. Otherwise you’d have a lot of questions as to what happened once you woke up covered in bruises and surrounded by unconscious goons. Trixie DEFINITELY has business to settle with you, Miss Hawke.”
“What do you want?” Sylvia hissed, gripping her armrests hard enough that her talons started to dig into the wood.
“Before Trixie left, you offered - in a moment of terrified desperation - to purchase Trixie’s forgiveness for your transgressions against her,” the unicorn began, sitting back on her haunches. “At the time, Trixie refused. Since moving on from Hoofington, however, Trixie has become much more relaxed about attempts on her life and much less secure in her personal funds. So Trixie will accept your offer now and grant her forgiveness at an appropriately exorbitant price.”
Sylvia was silent for several seconds while multiple feathers on her head and shoulders started twitching and standing up of their own volition. “…… That’s it? That’s why you’re here?! To BLACKMAIL me?!” she screeched.
Trixie winced slightly from the volume, but nodded. “Well, yes. Trixie really would like to resolve her grudge, but that’s a fair assessment. Will you be paying in cash or in kind?”
“I’m not paying you anything!” Sylvia snarled, standing up and slamming her fist on her desk. “Get out! Never set hoof in this town again!”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Are you doing that thing where you enter a negotiation with an obviously unacceptable offer in the hopes that the eventual compromise is more favorable to you? Because Trixie isn’t buying it.”
A slight creaking noise came from above. Sylvia’s eyes narrowed at Trixie, who maintained an undisturbed expression of tired patience.
“I’ve said all there is to say,” the griffon snapped, glaring down at the pony. “Get out.”
“Trixie finds your offer insufficient and must press her claim,” the unicorn retorted. “Ranma, go see what’s in that safe, would you? Hopefully we can resolve this with whatever cash you have on hoof.”
The hooded pony started to move, turning toward the armored door on the wall without uttering a word. Sylvia tensed, and then loudly cleared her throat.
A feral shriek came from above, and another griffon dropped from the rafters to tackle the hooded equine to the floor. A dagger plunged into the pony’s back, eliciting a loud BANG like the sound of a balloon exploding. The griffon rolled across the floor, clutching his target for dear life while his blade searched - unsuccessfully - for flesh to bite into.
“What? What was…?” Sylvia stared incredulously at the pile of objects tangled around her son, Tom Hawke. Tom lay on the carpet in a confused heap, the cloak caught on his talons and one arm wrapped around what should have been the head of the hooded pony they thought was Ranma Saotome. Rather, it was a party balloon with a paper fold attached to it in a shape that resembled a pony’s muzzle. Back where the “pony” had been standing, another balloon bobbed up and down, anchored lightly to a small wooden block. A third balloon was spread around the floor in the form of torn rubber scraps. There seemed to be a small sheet of paper attached to the “head” balloon as well, but neither of the griffons noticed while realization slowly dawned on them.
Trixie snickered behind a hoof. Sylvia stood up straight, regarding the magician with a suspicious glare. Trixie’s horn wasn’t glowing anymore for the first time since she had arrived.
“That was a decoy… You’ve been pulling that thing along all this time! That’s why your horn was active since you broke in! This was all a bluff!”
“You seemed like the type to have more than one ace up your sleeve,” Trixie shrugged. “It also helped scare away most of your thugs outside. A few fireworks and a vaguely stallion-sized shape sent them running for the hills!”
Sylvia threw open a desk and snatched up a dagger, her eyes never leaving the unicorn at the front of her office. “You have a lot of guts, Trixie, and I’ll even admit you’re rather clever! But in the end, your thug is missing and I still have one left!”
“Mommm! Don’t call me a ‘thug!’” Tom complained as he stood up.
“Honey, please, not now! Concentrate on disemboweling the unicorn!”
Trixie chuckled, smirking at the griffons brandishing knives at her. “If you think Trixie is alone, you should probably read that message on the balloon.”
Tom hesitated, and then snatched up the note. He squinted at it, not noticing when Trixie leapt away and huddled behind a chair. Sylvia did notice, and her feathers prickled again in alarm.
“I don’t get it,” Tom mumbled. “It just says ‘Trixie prepared explosive runes today.’”
The citizens of Hoofington winced as an explosion rocked the Mayor’s mansion, blowing out one of the windows and unsettling the entire West wing of the house. The ponies that didn’t count themselves among Sylvia Hawke’s lackeys - many of whom had gathered outside after seeing or hearing the fireworks earlier - quickly scattered. Most of the ponies who did consider themselves subordinates of the Mayor also left, but did so more casually and with exaggerated nonchalance, as if they hadn’t noticed their employer’s home being blown up.
Those few who remained finally fled when the front door suddenly burst open. Trixie emerged from the mansion with her saddlebags stuffed to bursting and a trio of daggers hovering in front of her, but hardly any of the hooligans even waited to catch a glimpse before sprinting away.
The unicorn paused to scan the area, searching for any indication of hidden foes. Once she was satisfied that nopony was waiting in ambush, she let two of the daggers drop to the ground and she began to walk away.
“Well, this proved to be a worthwhile stop. Trixie’s glad she decided to clear up this little grudge after all.” The bits stuffed in her saddlebags jingled with every step, and a few loose coins managed to slip out of the folds and onto the dirt. “It’s unfortunate Trixie couldn’t find those Thief ponies from before so that they could purchase their forgiveness as well, but Trixie’s current profits are just slightly greater than her sense of spite.”
Before she got very far from the front door, Trixie heard another pony galloping up the road. She tensed and started to feed magical energy to the dagger she was still levitating, but then relaxed once she spotted the source: a mare racing up the street while carrying a pack full of rolled-up newspapers.
“EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! ROYAL WEDDING IN EQUESTRIAN BACKWATER! PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT TO MARRY ENEMY OF THE STATE UNDER EXTREMELY CONTRIVED CIRCUMSTANCES! EXTRA!” The newspaper mare rang a bell hanging around her neck while she raced past the mansion, and then flung one of the papers toward the (still smoldering) front door of the Mayor’s house.
Trixie intercepted the newspaper with her telekinesis, drawing it along behind her while she returned to her wagon. “Now THAT’S an interesting headline. What enemy of the state would that be?”
The paper whipped around in front of her, and then unrolled itself in front of the unicorn. Trixie immediately found the portraits plastered over the front page, and her ears pinned flat against her head. “Really, Trixie didn’t know what she was expecting. Of course it wasn’t going to be Blood Rite,” she grumbled, staring at the familiar bounty poster that detailed Ranma’s crimes and reward. “Trixie is somewhat surprised the bride is Princess Luna, though. There’s probably a very interesting story behind that, and Trixie would bet every one of her recently acquired bits that it isn’t written anywhere here.”
She reached her wagon and closed the newspaper. Then she stopped, tilting her head to one side. “Oh, there you are. Trixie was wondering what happened to you. You really live up to your name, don’t you?”
A familiar stallion stood next to her wagon with a single hoof pressed against it. A magic symbol glowed a bright pink on the wooden siding next to his leg, extending a magical aura around his entire body and holding him in place. The pony whimpered fearfully as Trixie approached him, but lacked the muscle control to so much as lower his ears in shame.
“Here, let Trixie adjust the spell so you can properly beg for forgiveness, Mister Wagon Thief.” Trixie’s magic tossed the paper into the wagon bed and then reached out to the stallion, banishing the part of the aura wrapping around his head. “Trixie didn’t really think any of Hawke’s thugs would stop to loot a random wagon among all the explosions and screaming and such, but this is a town of thieves after all!”
“L-Look, I’m sorry, all right? You got me! I’m helpless! Have some m-mercy!” Wagon Thief blubbered, his imagination running wild with all sorts of sadistic imagery. The last two times he had crossed the blue unicorn he had suffered first-degree burns and multiple fractured bones, and back then he’d at least been able to defend himself.
“Well, you did happen to catch Trixie in a decent mood. Lucky you.” Smirking, the illusionist lifted the saddlebags from her back and tossed them in the wagon as well, enjoying the metallic jingle of the coins settling. Then she paused, glancing behind her suspiciously. “Although… Trixie is kind of surprised your girlfriend isn’t trying to help you. The magic trap only had enough power to paralyze one target, but it doesn’t look like she took anything and then abandoned you on your own. Hmmm…”
Wagon Thief sniffled pitifully. “J-Jewel Thief… left me right after you and that pigtailed monster left town,” he admitted miserably. “With me injured and unable to help keep us afloat she had to cut me loose and fend for herself.”
“Trixie is happy to hear that she’s learning from her past mistakes and getting her life back on track,” Trixie said while she started hooking herself up to the wagon shafts.
The immobilized stallion frowned. “That’s not what I said.”
“That’s not what you meant,” Trixie corrected. She finished hooking herself in, and then craned her neck to address the bandit. “But that’s neither here nor there. Trixie will tell you what; if you promise to tell Hawke and her thugs that Trixie left through the west gate rather than the east gate, Trixie will refrain from running you over on the way out.”
“Yes! Fine! Whatever you want!” Wagon Thief wailed.
“Splendid! Goodbye!”
With that, Trixie reached over and gave the hapless rogue a firm push. Wagon Thief tipped over, falling onto his side with a pitiful squeak. Then she was off, galloping at a steady trot down the cobblestone streets.
Trixie didn’t cast so much as a brief glance over her shoulder while she raced away from the Mayor’s house. The streets were almost entirely empty, with windows and doors closed and locked tight; a regular occurrence in bandit-plagued villages, especially when they heard explosions. After several minutes heading East through town Trixie stopped, looked around to check if anyone was watching, and then took a left turn onto a side street and headed North. While she supposed Wagon Thief was just cowardly enough to actually abide by their bargain even after he was safely out of harm’s way, there was no reason to trust the rogue to misdirect any potential pursuers.
Besides, the North road was the quickest route to Ponyville. Trixie had always wanted to see a royal wedding.
“All right Havoc, now that ya’ve split enough wood to last us through Winter Wrap-up it’s time ya learn some proper farmin’. Ah don’t know if ya plan on stickin’ around ‘til the busy season, but if ya do yer gonna have to learn ta buck trees.”
Ranma stood at the base of an apple tree, staring up into the branches and the collection of bright red fruits hanging under the leaves. Applejack and Big Macintosh stood behind him, the latter maintaining stoic silence while the former instructed him.
“The idea is simple: ya gotta kick the tree so that the apples fall down. The technique ain’t simple. If ya just kick the tree as hard as ya can then you’ll just hurt yerself and scuff the bark.” Applejack nudged her head toward Big Mac. “Let Mac show ya how it’s done. Then I’ll run ya through it.”
Big Mac trotted up next to the apple tree and then swung around. Applejack did a quick circuit around the work site, dropping baskets on the ground to form a loose ring. Mac glanced back at the tree for a long moment, and then turned away again.
His left rear leg struck the tree with a solid thump, and the entire tree quivered. The branches shook noticeably more than the rest of the body, dipping low before the fruits hanging on the ends broke loose and tumbled to the ground. Apples rained down from the tree, and the majority of them fell in the harvest baskets. One fruit dropped squarely on Mac’s head, and by reflex he tilted his neck to bounce it into the nearest receptacle.
Applejack nodded in satisfaction, and then turned to her pigtailed tenant. “So, whatcha think?”
Ranma looked left and right at the baskets, and then stared up at the tree for a few seconds. Then he finally addressed Applejack. “What’s Winter Wrap-up? Is that what I’ve been splitting firewood for?”
Applejack sighed, mildly annoyed that the question had nothing to do with the job at hand. “Winter Wrap-up is when we ponies all get together to clear out all the snow and whatnot and start spring. Y’know, to change the seasons.”
“You… You do... what? That’s not how the seasons change!” Ranma retorted, furrowing his brow.
“Havoc, Ah ain’t gonna argue with ya about how the weather works,” the farmer said firmly, scowling at her guest. “However they did it ‘fore the world ended and ponykind took over, now the Princess controls the sun and us townsfolk change the seasons and the weather factory makes the rain. That’s just how it is!”
Ranma ducked his head and he snorted. “I’m pretty sure that whoever controls the sun should control the seasons, too…”
“Then Ah guess the next time ya meet Princess Celestia ya can tell her that she’s slackin’ off. Ah don’t care,” Applejack said, picking up a basket and sliding it onto her back. “Fer now we’re talkin’ chores. Get a basket an’ follow me.”
Soon they had arranged the baskets around another apple tree. Ranma pushed his own baskets into place more or less at random under the apples hanging above, and he couldn’t help but notice that the Apple siblings followed after him to nudge them over several inches. He didn’t know what the difference was supposed to be, and the farmers didn’t offer an explanation; Ranma guessed that optimal basket placement was just something that came with long experience.
“Now, then…” Applejack walked up to the apple tree and laid a hoof flat on the trunk. “If there’s one thing yer plenty good at it’s kickin’ things, so Ah figger you’ll be a natural at this.” She raised her hoof higher and tapped the trunk. “The idea is, ya want the kick to push upward, and spread as much force as possible. Ya don’t want the kick goin’ down into the roots. Besides doin’ nothin’ to get the apples down, it’s also bad fer the trees.”
She turned around, spacing herself about half a leg’s length from the tree. “The other trick to it is a little less… science-y. Ya gotta kick through the bark, into the core of the tree. The bark just eats up the power of the kick and breaks. It’s the wood that carries it upward.”
“You mean like, aim for a bald spot?” Ranma asked.
“That can help sometimes, although hittin’ knots in the trunk usually spoils the kick. What Ah mean is ya gotta hit flat-on and drive the impact deep; don’t let yer hoof spring off. There’s a feel to it that you’ll get used to, but it’ll take a little practice.”
Applejack suddenly lashed out with a back hoof, striking the apple tree lightly. A single branch on the opposite side of the tree started shaking, and a trio of apples tumbled down into a basket while leaving the entire rest of the foliage undisturbed. Ranma recoiled in surprise, genuinely impressed.
“Heh. Ah’m just showin’ off, but it’s the same kinda trick what Mac did.” She trotted away to join her brother. “Give it a try.”
Ranma walked up to the apple tree, staring at it thoughtfully. He walked around the side, then slapped a hoof lightly against the trunk. After a few seconds he walked further around it, and then gave it a little kick again. There was no obvious effect, but the Apples didn’t expect any; they waited patiently for the martial artist to make a proper attempt at an applebuck.
“All right, here goes!” Ranma shouted suddenly, whipping around and jumping onto his front legs. His entire body flashed blue, and his legs lashed out like a bolt of lightning. “HI-YAH!”
The tree trunk barely trembled, but the branches started flailing wildly. The apples broke free in short order and start falling to the ground, although the farmer ponies noticed right away that they seemed to be flying far beyond the placement of the baskets.
“Ha! Got it on the first try!” Ranma smirked.
Then there was a tremendous crack, and the top half of the tree split open as if a massive, invisible axe had fallen atop it. Ranma’s smirk vanished.
“Ah. Um… that… was a practice tree, right?” Ranma asked nervously, a droplet of sweat sliding down his head.
Big Mac shook his head silently. Applejack sighed and walked up to the martial artist, clapping a hoof onto his shoulder.
“This’s why we all insist on calling ya Havoc, y’know.”
Ranma’s ears flipped down. “Sorry…”
“It wasn’t a practice tree before, but it sure is now, so after ya fill up the apple baskets ya can work on yer technique a little more,” Applejack allowed, stepping back to join her brother again. “If ya want some advice on yer kicking style, Ah’d say ya should drop that flashy blue magic thing.”
“That’s not magic! That’s my battle aura!” Ranma said, looking proud again.
“Ah don’t care what it is. Just quit gettin’ it on mah trees,” Applejack said firmly. “Yer fancy human whatsit is great fer knockin’ out dragons, but you can take it easy applebuckin’. We clear?”
Ranma nodded silently, and Applejack offered a tired smile. “Then Ah’ll leave ya to it fer now. When ya think yer ready to harvest a tree without tearin’ it in half, then come get me and I’ll find ya a good ‘un.”
The Apple siblings helped collect the harvested fruit in the baskets, and then departed with their bounty. Ranma was left with the badly damaged tree, left to puzzle out the secrets of magic pony farming. Applejack’s technique wasn’t especially daunting to him; Ranma was experienced with energy flows and impact diversion far more subtle and complex than what she had used to knock the apples loose. But the mechanics of a tree were different from a person, and all his practice as a human was harder to apply as a pony.
“Bah. The tree isn’t going to be very much help for practice like this. I need a new one,” Ranma grumbled, giving it a solid kick with his front leg. One half of the split trunk wobbled dangerously, and the cleft between the two halves deepened. “Or maybe… instead I could come up with some kind of training exercise… something a lot like this but without risking the tree…” he rubbed the back of a hoof against his chin.
He was puzzling over it for several minutes before the fur on his back stood on end. Ranma’s ears perked up and a grimace crossed his face, but he didn’t actually move or respond to the new presence until he heard it speak.
“Ah, I see you’re learning the apple farming trade. And it’s going just as well as I would have guessed! Ha ha ha!” Discord stuck his head through the split in the tree, grinning down at the stallion below. Ranma stared back up, unimpressed.
“You again,” the martial artist grumbled, resisting the urge to give the tree another kick. “What’s up, weirdo?”
“Now, now, let’s not be rude.” Discord pulled his head back out of the cleft. “I just thought you might like a little help, that’s all!”
The draconequus reached down to the part of the trunk where the split began, pinching the bark just under the crack. Then he drew his hand up, like he was drawing a zipper closed. The apple tree duly came together along the split, the wood and bark sealing together so completely it was as if nothing had happened.
“There! Much better! Let’s reload it, too.” Discord pulled open a section of bark like it was the cover of a maintenance panel, revealing an array of buttons beneath. He pressed one and flipped the bark back into place, and then new apples suddenly swelled into existence on the tree’s branches to replace those that had already fallen.
“… Okay, thanks,” Ranma mumbled, pausing to rub his eyes. “Is that all you came here for?”
“Not quite,” Discord said with a grin, leaning against the newly restored tree. “As my new best pony guy friend, I was just hoping you could do me an itsy-bitsy little favor!”
“Why… Why am I your ‘new best pony guy friend?’” Ranma asked suspiciously. It wasn’t that he had anything against Discord personally, even if the spirit of chaos had accidentally blown him up; Discord simply had an air of casual, subtle malevolence to him behind his outwardly cheery persona. It was something Ranma had learned to pick up on long ago when dealing with various unnaturally old and ridiculously powerful people that frequently meddled with his life.
“Well you can’t be my best pony gal friend; that slot’s taken,” Discord explained, “but I’ve often wanted somepony around to talk to about cool, MANLY stuff!” He withdrew an iron barbell out of nowhere and started doing bicep curls as he spoke. “You know: Karate, explosions, the scouring of all human life from planet Earth, baseball, comic books, picking up mares at the wedding tomorrow, that sort of thing!”
Ranma grimaced. “You wanna talk about Earth?”
“Oh, dear no, that sounds terribly depressing. It was just an example.” Discord chucked the barbell behind him. “But back to that favor: you may have heard there’s a wedding tomorrow! I’m helping out, and I need an assistant. I’d ask Spike, but it turns out only Princesses get to ignore Equestrian child labor laws.”
“A wedding? Tomorrow?” Ranma frowned. “Who’s getting married? Anyone I know?”
“Oh, but it’s a surprise!” Discord said with a wink.
“A… surprise WEDDING? There are surprise weddings here in ponyland?” Ranma asked incredulously.
“For all you know, YES!” Discord laughed. “So what do you say? Can you lend me a hoof?”
Ranma stared up at the grinning face of the draconequus. “… Is it me? Am I getting married?”
Discord’s face darkened. Ranma kept staring at him suspiciously. Discord stared back, his eyes narrowing.
Then they both started laughing.
“HA HA HA! Married? You? That’s ridiculous!” Discord bellowed. “You barely know anypony here! How would that even work?”
“Ha ha! Yeah! That is really silly, huh?” Ranma chuckled to himself, but also looked distinctly relieved. “Anyway, it sounds fun but I really have to finish working off this-“
“There will be catering, of course,” Discord interrupted.
“I guess I can ask Jack for a day off, sure,” Ranma quickly revised.
“You leave her to me!” Discord said, walking off toward the farmstead. “You’ll need the whole day, so plan accordingly!”
“Really? Do pony weddings take that long?”
“No, but I have a VERY SPECIAL job for you!” Discord said, cackling to himself. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Havoc! Ha ha haa! MWAA HAA HAA HAA HAAAAH!!”
The draconequus flew away toward the farmhouse, laughing the entire time in a decidedly unhinged manner. Ranma watched him go, and then glanced up at the newly repaired apple tree.
“Well, he’s a total weirdo, but as long as he keeps fixing up Jack’s trees for me he’s all right in my book,” Ranma said to himself while looking at the unblemished trunk approvingly. He tapped a hoof against the spot that Discord had opened and closed like a hinged panel, but as expected he found nothing there. “Well, whatever. Let’s give it another try!”
With a wide grin Ranma hopped up into the air, turning 180 degrees and landing on his forelegs. Both of his legs lashed out to strike the trunk, but as Applejack suggested he reigned in his battle aura this time.
The trunk quivered more than it had before, and the bark cracked under the impact of his hooves. But when the apples started falling nothing else happened to the tree, and Ranma watched the fruit plummet to the ground with quiet satisfaction.
“Heh. Not quite perfect, but not bad for my second try,” he said to himself, raising a hoof and catching one of the falling apples.
Ranma was going to take a bite, but paused when he noticed something small take off from the apple’s surface and hover in front of him. It was a honeybee. An ordinary honeybee, buzzing in a confused orbit above the apple, in the same way any old Earth honeybee would.
This was hardly alarming by itself, but Ranma became increasingly aware of more buzzing coming from above, along with a series of thumping noises. Then a beehive dropped from the branches and landed in front of him, cracking open on impact. Ranma yelped and jumped backward as a swarm of angry honeybees flooded from the sundered nest, startled and more than a little confused.
“This is some kind of dumb magical prank, isn’t it? There was definitely no beehive in the tree before,” the martial artist grumbled before rearing up on his hind legs. “Whatever, come at me if you want. Just more practice for the old horse body!” Ranma boasted.
Five more beehives fell from the tree and crashed to the ground, releasing hundreds of new insects into the air.
“God DAMN it,” Ranma sighed, turning around to flee.
“Knock knock! Anypony home?”
Applejack grimaced at hearing Discord’s voice at the door and she looked up from where she was making lunch. “Oh, NOW what?”
Apple Bloom was sitting on a stool washing apples in the sink, and she instantly perked up when she heard something banging on the front door. “Ah’ll get it!” She jumped down and scampered across the floor to the entrance.
The yellow filly cracked opened the front door, and then yelped as it was suddenly thrown open the rest of the way, sending her rolling across the floor.
“APPLE PONY!!” Discord said, grinning down at the youngest Apple sibling and spreading his arms wide as if for a hug. “Are you ready for the wedding?!”
Apple Bloom blinked up at him repeatedly, scrunching up her nose. “… Yer a nice monster, but Ah think we should just be friends.”
Discord laughed, slapping his belly and walking past the young pony. He didn’t get very far before Applejack stood in his path, staring up at the draconequus with a calm, if displeased, expression.
“What’re ya here for, Discord? Ya know better’n to stop by just fer lunch.”
“So cold, Applejack!” he replied, gripping his shoulders and shivering while his body turned blue and frosty. “This is an occasion for celebration! Love is in the air!”
The farmer’s apparent mood didn’t improve. “Can ya skip the sight gags and get on with it? Ah got chores to do.”
“Oh, fine. Be that way.” Discord straightened up and clasped his hands behind his back. “I’d like to formally extend an invitation to tomorrow’s wedding!” He flicked his wrist, summoning a folded scrap of paper from nowhere and offering it to the orange mare.
“A weddin’, huh? Is it fer you, or is this some kinda whacky show yer puttin’ on as a big joke?” Applejack asked, cautiously taking the invitation.
“It’s not my wedding, but it’s not a joke, either! Not completely. Like 40% at most,” Discord replied.
Applejack flipped the paper open and then read the contents aloud. “’Applejack, Element of Honesty: You are cordially invited to attend the most holy union of…’ uh… didja mess up the line? There’s a dark smudge over the names of the bride n’ groom.”
“It’s a surprise wedding! You get to find out who the bride and groom are when you’re there!” Discord said brightly.
“Yer makin’ that up,” Applejack said bluntly.
“Of course I am, but that’s not the point,” Discord replied. “Havoc agreed to help out putting the ceremony together. You can show up at the appointed time as a guest, but he’ll need the whole day off.”
Applejack frowned at the invitation, intensely suspicious. “…… Is it Havoc? Is he the groom?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Or the bride? Ah guess he could be either.”
“Wasn’t he a criminal until this week? When did he get a special somepony?” Apple Bloom asked.
Discord stopped smiling and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Applejack. “Look, can I borrow the cursed indentured servant or not? I’m a very busy chaos spirit; I don’t have time to sit around while you pick apart my plans.”
“Ah gotta feelin’ Ah’m gonna regret this,” the orange pony huffed. “Fine, let’s do this. Can’t end worse than havin’ half the Equestrian army rampagin’ through mah fields.”
“You’re probably right!” Discord said with a wink, swiftly turning around and heading out the door. “See you tomorrow!” He didn’t wait for any further response, his tail curling around the front doorknob and tugging it closed while he departed.
Once the door clicked shut, Apple Bloom bounced to her hooves. “There’s gonna be a weddin’! Can Ah come?”
“Naw, you should stay home with Mac,” Applejack advised.
“Awwww! Why?!”
“’Cuz there ain’t nothin’ about this that ain’t sketchy as all get-out,” Applejack snorted. “Ah don’t want you gettin’ in no trouble.”
“But Havoc causes trouble all the time!” Apple Bloom complained. “Why does he get to go?”
“Honestly Ah should probably stop him from goin’ too, but Ah don’t think it’d work,” Applejack grumbled. “Tell ya what: if everythin’ is on the level and nothin’ explodes, Ah’ll make sure to bring ya back some cake. How’s that sound?”
“Okay! Thanks, sis!”
“Yer welcome, Bloom,” Applejack said with a smile. “Now go get Havoc, wouldja? It’s almost lunch time.”
Apple Bloom trotted over to the front door, and then paused. Her ear twitched, and then she turned to face the window. “Does anypony else hear screamin’?”
Applejack frowned, and then walked up to the window.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” Ranma sprinted by the farmhouse, wailing in terror. A massive swarm of bees trailed after him, creating a fearsome buzz with the sound of their collective flight.
“Aw, horseapples,” Applejack groaned and turned around. “MAC!! Get the hose! We got magic bees again!” She grabbed her hat from the counter and slipped it on, stomping toward the front door. “Bloom, make sure the first aid kit’s ready when we get back, wouldja? Those stings’re nasty.”
Apple Bloom saluted solemnly as her sister charged out the front door, and a lone tear crawled down the filly’s cheek.
Kamikazan tapped a claw against the obsidian pillow of his roost, the talon chipping deeper and deeper into the gleaming black slab in time with his rising irritation.
Blood Rite was out at the moment, apparently gathering “intelligence” for his asinine plot. That left Kamikazan alone to rest and brood, pondering on his immediate future and the chances that it would conclude with Celestia safely in his claws. His ruminations didn’t leave him at ease.
Kamikazan found Rite’s plans absurd and over-complicated, with far too much focus on evasion and the bizarre artifact that he trusted to bring his ridiculous endgame to fruition. It was one thing to overcome the Equestrian order itself; their magical power was formidable, but not overwhelming. To re-order the solar system was simply madness. And then there was Rite’s… other goal.
“Breaking the bonds of destiny, peh! What a pitiful creature,” Kamikazan sneered. He generally thought the equines were weak and feeble-minded for being subject to the compulsions of destiny, doomed to whatever fate that was grafted to their hind leg, but he didn’t think it admirable to try to reshape the natural order of equinity through sheer magical force. Rite had bitten off far more than he could chew.
But then again, so had Kamikazan.
His own temper and arrogance had eventually set him against the very mare he sought to court, as well as needlessly making an enemy of a bizarrely powerful pony fighter. If he was to ever make Celestia his, the only way now was to seize her by force. Blood Rite had taken advantage of his misery and desperation and struck an alliance, but as the sorcerer’s plot advanced the prince’s confidence soured. Rite had confessed that the Equestrians would be able to track them now that he possessed his precious trinket, and yet he was still not ready to confront them! What was the fool waiting for?
A low hum rose over the cracked ground, diverting the mighty dragon from his fuming. His ally had returned.
Rite stepped out of the shimmering portal, his ears perked carefully. A pair of saddlebags lay over his cloak, stuffed near to bursting. Hanging from his neck, suspended by a chain, was a single tin box; it had the look of an amulet, but was obviously designed to obscure the centerpiece of the accessory rather than show it off.
Kamikazan approached the stallion, his vast bulk cracking the layers of rock underneath. Embers leaked from the corners of his mouth, which was a fairly unsubtle indicator that the dragon prince was annoyed. “Finally, you’re back. Do we move now, or do you wish to waste another sunrise drawing little pictures on the rocks?”
Rite grimaced as he stepped down from the monolith that he used to form his gateways. “I see you’re getting restless, your Highness. But the end of our struggle is in sight.”
“In SIGHT! You don’t say?” The great red serpent made a show of looking back and forth. “The ash storms must be obscuring it then, sorcerer! I do not see my future bride here; only the same bleak, lava-blasted doomscape that’s been my prison for centuries!”
“All right, I get it. You’re eager to head into the final phase. Great.” Rite sighed and took off his saddlebags before lifting a flap with his magic. “As it so happens, I’ve found the perfect occasion for our assault. So perfect, honestly, that at first I feared it was some kind of lure for me!” He levitated a rolled-up newspaper out of his pack, chuckling to himself. “That concern seemed unlikely the more I read on the occasion. Of COURSE Havoc would end up as the other half of a royal wedding. Really, I shouldn’t-“
The unicorn was bowled over by a sudden roar of fury, followed by a blast of hot wind that buffeted him against the ground. Kamikazan reared up, his eyes glowing and flames curling around his jaws.
“NEVER!! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!! HOW DARE THAT CRUDE, VIOLENT WRETCH LAY HIS HOOVES UPON MY PRINCESS!!” The ground started to shake around him, and puffs of dark smoke erupted from several large cracks in the rock surface. “A ROYAL WEDDING?! I WILL SCOUR ALL OF EQUESTRIA WITH FLAME BEFORE IT COMES TO PASS!!”
Rite stumbled backward with wide eyes, quickly summoning a shield to protect him from the flames surrounding the royal dragon. “Wait! Stop! Calm down! It’s not what you think!”
Kamikazan snapped his head down, his eyes aglow with magical power. Fire washed over his scales in waves, and the tremors still hadn’t stopped. “SPEAK, EQUINE,” he commanded, his voice booming.
“Havoc isn’t marrying Princess Celestia, he’s marrying her sister! The cretin rescued her from me during one of my earlier attempts to complete my plan! Celestia is merely officiating the wedding! Look!” He levitated the newspaper up higher, wary of how the pages were starting to darken from the surrounding heat.
Kamikazan stared, and his aura slowly dissipated. The ground stopped shaking, and his eyes returned to their usual dark gold while he squinted at the font printed for creatures a fraction of his size. “…… Celess has a sister?” he mumbled.
“Yes.” Rite stood up straight, smoothing out his cloak and grumbling. “I suppose it’s no great surprise you didn’t know; she’d been banished for a millennium. I don’t know if you’d even been born yet.” He snorted. “The Princess of the Sun can be quite… harsh in her approach to incarceration. I suppose I should count myself lucky.”
Kamikazan kept staring at the paper, pinching it delicately between his claws and bringing it closer. “… Princess… Luna is it? She’s… She’s beautiful.”
Rite’s expression fell, and he arched an eyebrow while looking up at the dragon wordlessly.
“… Ahem! But indeed, it would seem the wretch isn’t marrying Celess after all. Good!” Kamikazan raised his head and flicked the paper away, attempting to look aloft and dignified after his outburst. “So then, what is your plan?”
“The wedding is taking place in Ponyville and is expected to be lightly attended for what one would expect for a royal marriage. Assuming the details in the paper are true, it means we have a few hours in which Princess Celestia will be vulnerable outside of her capital. We probably won’t have to deal with too many guards, but of course there are… other obstacles,” Rite admitted.
“The bride and groom,” Kamikazan rumbled.
“Yes. I estimate my weapon should be able to handle them all, but if they should hold it off even briefly Princess Celestia may be able to escape. I won’t be able to pursue her very far,” Rite explained.
“Really? What use is your weapon if she can simply fly away or teleport?” Kamikazan growled.
“I have countermeasures for that, but even my magic and planning can only account for so many outcomes. And not all the complications will be magical in nature... I can only imagine how upset that pigtailed brute will be at having his marriage interrupted.”
“… Will he be upset?” the dragon mumbled. “He’s an odd one. He seemed uninterested in a fight when I challenged him for the artifact, but then flew into an enraged frenzy because I burned some stupid wagon.”
“Us ponies can be fickle creatures, your Highness. Our reactions to certain threats are not always…” At this the sorcerer paused, his eyes narrowing. “… Proportionate. Nonetheless, the plan is set. All that you need to do now is give yourself to the artifact.”
Blood Rite sat down and tapped both sides of the box around his neck between his hooves. The box cracked open, and then a gemstone fell out only to be scooped up on a cloud of misty white magic. Kamikazan’s eyes narrowed at the MacGuffin Stone. The jewel started to glow, and then it flipped around in the air to face the mighty dragon.
“So this is it, then? I’m to be trapped in this… thing until you deign to release me?” Kamikazan growled. “And you REALLY think this weapon of yours will be enough?”
“Your Highness, please, let’s not start doubting now,” Rite chided. “We will never get a better chance than this. You could have spread your wings and flown away at any time rather than waiting for my preparations, yet here you are, staring into the eye of the unfathomable.” His dry lips twisted into a smirk. “Was it curiosity? Desperation? Vengeance? Or was it love that brought you this far?”
“It was love,” Kamikazan answered immediately. “… Maybe SOME vengeance. Mostly love.”
“This means so much more to me than love or revenge,” Rite said, his voice increasingly sharp. “I will free my people from the shackles of fate and the sun from the grasp of Equestria’s royal order. It is all I want; all I have dreamed of since leaving that wretched castle. But if it’s love you’re after, your Highness, then I have to ask that love be enough.”
“And vengeance. Don’t forget that part,” the dragon grumbled. “Upon my emergence I expect to claim Celess, unharmed, and the pigtailed fool, dead and burned.”
“Would horribly maimed be enough?” Rite asked with a sigh. “Honestly, I expect I’ll have to kill him over the course of the attack just to achieve my objectives, but he’s proven very hard to finish off. Besides, wouldn’t you rather end him yourself?”
Kamikazan raised a claw to his chin. “Hmmm... Now that you mention it...” Then he grimaced, remembering the previous occasions of hooves crashing against his skull. “No. Not enough! I want him dead and gone by the time you release me!”
“... Very well. If that is your price, then I shall pay it,” Rite said, bowing his head. The MacGuffin Stone rose upward, floating through the air toward the dragon.
“Good. So... what am I supposed to do now?” Kamikazan plucked the gem out of the air, holding it between his claws. “Do you cast a spell, or... huh?!” the dragon prince recoiled, and the jewel started to glow.
“Yes, so, the trigger for this process is just touching it,” Rite explained with a polite cough. “It will be fine, your Highness. You’ll probably feel your magic energy being drawn into the gem. That’s normal, probably.”
“Guh! This... This HURTS!” the dragon clenched his teeth, and his eyes flashed. “You didn’t say it was going to hurt!”
“Pain is an illusion of the mind, your Highness,” Rite lectured. “Banish your fears and doubts, Lord Kamikazan. Victory is at hoof. By the time you leave the confines of the MacGuffin Stone ALL our dreams shall be realized!”
“Unless you lose,” spat the dragon, wrapping his claws fully around the gemstone.
“What did I say about fears and doubts?” Rite’s horn flashed, and light pulsed in his eyes at the same time. “There’s no going back, your Highness. For either of us.”
Kamikazan groaned, and a deep rumble filled the air as his body began to break apart. It didn’t feel quite like a magical disintegration – another painful experience he had been unlucky enough to endure in the past – but was also distinctly more forceful than a teleportation spell. His senses faded into empty noise, and his vision went dark.
Blood Rite watched as the mighty red dragon dematerialized, coming apart into motes of light and flooding into the MacGuffin Stone. The gem pulsed lightly, and then plummeted to the ground. The sorcerer again caught it with his levitation magic, and it stopped falling to float on a pillowy cloud of sparkling light.
Rite stared at it briefly, tilting it from side to side and studying it. The jewel had a slight red tint to it now, visible only when the facets caught the light at a precise angle. Less obviously, Blood Rite felt new magical strength suffusing the gem. It felt different than before, when Twilight Sparkle had been imprisoned within. More tumultuous and violent. Mana wasn’t supposed to have a “feel” to it, much less a mood, but this energy did anyway.
“I wish I had taken the opportunity to study the artifact in more detail before,” Rite mumbled to himself as he walked toward the cavern where he had made his makeshift laboratory. “There’s still so much we don’t know about this gem. So many capabilities shrouded in mystery and rumor. But it will have to be enough.”
He trotted inside, past the gaping mouth and over the scattered scraps of obsidian stone. The MacGuffin stone floated along behind him, swinging slowly from one side to the other, like it was weaving through a mysterious wind current. Off to one side of the cave lay a pile of large stones: rough-cut marble in varying shapes and sizes, all of them with extensive runic glyph carvings cut into the surfaces. The decorated rock filled the greater part of the cavern, carefully arranged and spread out across the floor.
“Once again, I hold the future of Equestria in my hooves,” the sorcerer said to himself, approaching a particularly large, central stone. “The sun. The throne. The destiny of the equine race. Such incredible power wrought into the very fabric of magic itself. The pillars of this world.”
A square-shaped slot was drilled in the top of the construct, and Blood Rite floated the MacGuffin Stone up over it.
“There’s no going back now.” The gem fell into the hole.
For a long minute, nothing happened. Rite sat in front of the rock, his brow creased.
The boulder shuddered.
“It works... It really works...” Rite mumbled in awe, releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The runes carved into the stone started to fill with light, as if some luminescent liquid was slowly being squeezed into the furrows. “I... I had expected this, and all the other functions of the MacGuffin Stone operated more or less as I had predicted, but still... the research was so theoretical, so... untested. I can scarcely believe it!”
He shook his head to clear it. “Settle down, Rite. You’re not done yet. Not by a long shot. This isn’t even the most difficult technical challenge ahead.”
Arcs of multicolored lightning started to spark from the main boulder, jumping to the other rocks scattered about the cavern. The runes carved into those pieces began to glow as well, and they started to quiver on the ground.
“First, tests. I must make sure everything is working as expected. Then the shielding wards! I couldn’t add them before, but now that there’s a proper mana core to-“
Rite’s rambling stopped when a light turned on behind him, brightening the cavern interior considerably and casting the unicorn’s shadow across the hunks of carved marble. He blinked, and then twisted his head around. A magic symbol drawn on the wall of the cave in chalk was surrounded by a pulsing, near-blinding light aura. Rite spent several seconds staring, and then much of the blood drained from his face. That was the alarm response from one of his magical sentries. Something was approaching.
“No. No, please, not now... is he... already here?”
Rite stumbled over to a rickety table with a cracked glass orb sitting in the middle, his horn lighting up with desperate fervor. The sphere quivered and flashed, and swirls of color started spinning up within. The sorcerer placed his hooves on either side of the orb, his eyes narrowing while he searched the magical fog.
His horn pulsed, and the colors stopped moving and then shifted in new, stomach-churning patterns. Tiny scraps of what appeared to be colored gas formed vaguely discrete images, mostly in the form of dark rocks and lava flows. Some of the magical shroud seeped out of the crystal ball entirely, squeezing out of the cracks and rising into the air. Despite the poor resolution and the damage to the orb, eventually Rite caught sight of movement in the scrying image. His horn pulsed again, and the image broke apart into colored gas again before reforming into larger, clearer shapes.
“... Princess Sparkle?” Rite mumbled to himself. “And... is that a pegasus hunter squad?”
The sorcerer peered closer at the image, his thoughts racing. Having the Equestrian military, apparently aided by a Princess, was not the kind of threat he had been expecting at this late hour. Arguably, they were far more dangerous than Havoc; a single pony could always be diverted more easily and Havoc in particular could be disabled with a single spell if he was unlucky. Twilight Sparkle, was, of course, extremely dangerous on her own as a clever spellcaster, and if he wasn’t mistaken the pegasus in the lead of the formation was some kind of big-shot General.
Still, he couldn’t help but feel great relief that none of the winged equines had a bright red mane.
“Sparkle must be leading them. Blast! She must have figured out the MacGuffin sense after all! Another reason why I wish she’d never gotten involved.”
Rite looked over the rocks arrayed on the side of the cavern. The large central piece was floating now, and the other pieces were slowly being drawn up into the air as the runic markings pulsed with magic energy. The enchantment process wasn’t all that slow, all things considered, but it took long enough that the soldiers would definitely find him before it was complete. And Twilight Sparkle, being able to tell where the MacGuffin Stone was, would definitely be able to interrupt the process.
This would not do.
“I’m actually tempted to just hurl the dragon at them, but I don’t think the good Prince would be willing to cooperate any further after that,” Rite growled, extending his magic toward the boulder again. “I have to relocate. But they’re almost here! Blast, blast, blast it all!”
He began to levitate the MacGuffin Stone up and out of the construct, and the light that filled the various grooves and pits within the runic carvings rapidly dimmed to nothing. The artifact floated out of the repository slot, and a frosty-looking mist poured off of it while electric sparks lashed out from the edges.
“I’m SO CLOSE. I will not be denied now! Not by Sparkle, not by anypony!”
“So this is Flamehearst, is it? Just a random volcanic wasteland in the middle of an otherwise temperate region?”
General Wrath slowed her airspeed slightly while she surveyed the terrain below her unit. The entire ground was an utterly hostile carpet of jagged, dusty black rock. Blades of glassy obsidian jutted out of massive shale boulders, pockets of lava veins vomited smoke into the air, and even the most inviting patches of ground were too rough to easily navigate by hoof.
“I’m not sure it’s ‘random’ exactly, but yes. That’s what we’re looking at,” Twilight Sparkle confirmed, soaring above the soldiers. “I don’t think these formations are normal. There’s definitely an ambient magical effect altering the elemental composition here.”
“Normal or not, I can see why a lone instigator would make his home here. It’s well within Equestrian territory but the ground is almost impenetrable to hoof patrols and even most monsters. Hay, with all the smoke and hiding places down there I wouldn’t bother with aerial patrols either,” Wrath admitted.
“Only a strong command of teleportation magic would make it feasible for a unicorn to live here. And even then I think most would be completely miserable. We can’t exactly rule out that living in this searing wasteland for years contributed more to his desire for revenge than Princess Celestia or his cutie mark,” Twilight quipped.
“I suppose we could just take some extra time to sit down and listen to the traitor’s life story after we safely and gently defeat him in deadly combat,” Wrath said bitterly. “Perhaps read his memoirs while we’re at it?”
“General, you should feel free to gripe about Princess Celestia’s orders to me all you want, but I hope that when the time comes you’ll do as she asked,” Twilight said. After a pause, she added, “Also if we actually DO find any of his journals that would be extremely valuable and we should definitely recover them.”
“As you wish, Princess,” Wrath said solemnly, her eyes narrowing at something in the distance. “Wait... what’s that?”
Twilight needed to search a little longer to find what the pegasus was referring to, as her eyes weren’t quite as keen as the soldier’s. A speck of color was barely visible through a column of smoke ahead of the squad, and she certainly would have missed it if Wrath hadn’t said anything. The Equestrians soared through the column, and then Twilight’s eyes widened.
“That’s it! A magic gateway!” she said excitedly. “We’re here!” After a few seconds, her expression darkened. “Wait... it’s already active!”
“The gate is open? He’s using it now?” Wrath asked.
“Yes!”
“DOUBLE SPEED!! LET’S SOAR, PONIES!!” Wrath’s orders boomed through the sky like a thunderclap, and before Twilight knew what was happening the pegasi were rocketing ahead of her. She wasn’t even sure how they had accelerated so quickly, which didn’t bode well for her possibility of catching up.
Twilight started beating her wings faster, speeding up as best she could, and then she closed her eyes, turning her thoughts to the MacGuffin Stone. The strange beacon in her thoughts appeared, and her heart sank. The direction was far off their current heading, completely different than it was when she had last checked a few minutes ago. Had it already gone through the portal?
A sizzling whistle came from the sky ahead of her, and Twilight opened her eyes just in time to see a tremendous burst of magical light erupt in the middle of the pegasus formation. Bright rays of force shot in every direction, like shrapnel from a grenade, and even those soldiers who weren’t struck flinched away from the flash and noise. Three of them started to fall out of the air, stunned, and the Princess gasped.
“Oh no! Hang on, I’ll save you!” Twilight teleported, crossing the distance with magic that she couldn’t cover with her wings. As soon as she rematerialized, however, she was almost knocked out of the air when Wrath dove past her.
“GET IT TOGETHER AND GET ALOFT, PONIES!!” the General roared, catching one of the stunned soldiers in mid-air and stopping his death dive. The other members of the squad were likewise helping their stunned companions, catching them before their descents turned fatal. “HE KNOWS WE’RE HERE!! SPARKLE, GET DOWN THERE AND KEEP HIM BUSY!!”
“R-Right! On it!” Twilight tilted toward the ground, her eyes narrowing.
Down below, on an obsidian plateau rising from the wasteland of blackened rock, was a monolith supporting a swirling blue portal. In front of the gateway, as expected, was Blood Rite.
Unexpectedly, the sorcerer was not charging another volley of magical energy to swat his enemies out of the sky. Twilight was preparing to teleport again to evade an incoming attack, but instead the stallion seemed to be hurling large rocks into the portal using both his hooves and telekinesis. She didn’t know what to make of it at first, but after a moment the young Princess decided it didn’t matter. She switched her magic focus and fired an attack spell, sending a purple lance of magical power straight for the rebel.
Rite heard the spell discharge and his eyes bulged as he glanced up at the sky. With a surge of desperate effort, the boulder he was currently levitating lifted higher into the air, and the bolt of purple energy stabbed into it. The sheer force cracked the surface and punched halfway into the stone before tearing it out of Rite’s magical grip. The boulder went flying into the portal, trailing wisps of violet hoarfrost behind it.
The sorcerer seemed shocked by the intensity of the assault at first, to say nothing of his cargo being launched to its destination by sheer chance. He recovered quickly, and as Twilight approached closer his own magic started to wind its way through his horn. “Princess, hello! We really must stop meeting like this!”
A lightning bolt erupted from his horn, but Twilight had enough time to shield herself from the blast. The energy cracked against the barrier, and hot-white ribbons writhed over the glimmering purple screen. “Surrender the MacGuffin Stone and it will be the last time, I promise! You can’t hide from me!”
“If you can sense the artifact then you already know it isn’t here.” Rite kicked a boulder behind him, sending it rolling into the portal. Twilight didn’t get a very good look at it, but once it vanished into the shimmering gateway there was only one more of the strange objects left. It was as big as a young pony itself and covered in magic symbols, but Twilight couldn’t imagine what it was supposed to be.
“The MacGuffin is important... but not as important as you.” Twilight’s eyes flashed with power, and she spread her wings wide. “You can’t escape!”
A thunderous boom came from behind the Princess, and a bolt of lightning streaked past her toward the ground. Rite was already preparing a spell, and when the lightning bolt struck the stallion released a whinny of pain and fury that somehow rose above the thunder. He reared up, his horn pointing toward the sky.
Twilight yelped as a massive column of crimson light appeared in front of her, and she was blown back as a shock wave pulsed through the air. Several pegasus soldiers that were making an attack run were likewise knocked off-course, although they handled this disruption much better than the last magic attack. A huge cloud of black dust billowed up from the ground as igneous rock was crushed and swept up into the stream of energy, and an unearthly screech filled the Equestrians’ ears.
Twilight wasn’t able to place the magic type or the exact mechanics of the spell in the time before it seemed to run its course, and after a few seconds the column narrowed to a thread, and then winked out. She stabilized her flight again, and then looked around to check on the soldiers.
“Is everypony okay? Did anypony actually touch that magic pillar?” she asked.
“We’re fine! SOLDIERS, CLEAR THAT DUST CLOUD!!” Wrath commanded, pointing a hoof at the ground.
She started flapping her wings more slowly and with greater strength, her body dipping slightly and then bouncing back up into the air with every beat. The other pegasi started doing the same thing, all of them synchronizing their timing almost perfectly.
It looked like a rather inefficient exercise to Twilight, but after a few seconds there was a substantial rush of air blowing away the dust cloud. Her horn lit up again, and she once again prepared to unleash her magic the moment she caught sight of the cloaked stallion.
The magic faded when she failed to spot her target. When enough of the volcanic dust was swept away that she could clearly see the teleportation monolith, Twilight cried out in frustration. The portal was gone, and so was Blood Rite. The last of the strange rocks he had been moving was gone too.
“Blast! Did he get through the gate?” Wrath asked.
“I think so! It’s possible he’s trying to hide around here, but I doubt it!” Twilight flew down to the teleportation monolith, landing right in front of the structure.
“Spread out! Search every nook and crevice of this place out to one hundred meters!” Wrath called to her squad. “Don’t stray too far from each other, though! If he ambushes somepony we need to be close enough to help!” Then the general landed behind Twilight. “Can you sense him? Or, the rock, I suppose?”
“Yes. Northwest. But that isn’t very helpful to us. The artifact was already through the gate when we found Rite.” Twilight walked up to the monolith and placed her forelegs against it, standing up in front of the magical construct. “I think I have a different solution, though.”
Her horn lit up again, and this time magic started flooding into the glyphs carved into the monolith. “I’ve been brushing up on static-pattern spell tethers! If I can track the mana resonance before it fades, I can rebuild the spell construct within the runic grid and regenerate an identical pattern!”
Wrath blinked repeatedly. “Uh... well, you kind of lost me after ‘static.’ But if you think it would help, then go ahead.”
Twilight shouted something incoherent, and purple light flooded from her horn into the monolith. It seemed to seep into the carved patterns at random, sometimes clinging to the stone and sometimes bleeding off into colored vapor. Where the magic stuck, more energy seemed to be drawn into it and it expanded outwards, filling nearby runes with a violet glow. This continued for several seconds, with Twilight’s expression growing more intense while her brow furrowed.
“Okay... almost there... I think I’ve got it...” droplets of sweat crawled down the sides of her head as the mana flow intensified, and she started to feel a painful throbbing in her horn. This was an extremely intensive and inefficient way to use a magic spell, and the gateway was not a simple pattern at all. Still, it was her only idea for following the sorcerer, and if she let her concentration slip now then she wouldn’t be able to try it again.
“Yes! I’ve broken through!” The monolith was consumed by purple light, and then a small floating circle of bright blue started opening up in the air in front of her.
Then, after a few seconds, the circle rippled and vanished.
Twilight recoiled, blinking in shock. Her magic still clung to the construct, and the runes flickered softly in an activated state. But the pattern was broken. The spell didn’t work.
“... What happened? Why did you stop?” Wrath asked.
“I didn’t! Something else is wrong! The gate was starting to open!” Twilight complained. “The monolith is still active, it’s just... not doing anything!”
“Why?”
Twilight paused to calm herself and tamp down her frustration. “If everything is working on this end, the interference must be from the other side. He must have shut down the other gate somehow when he saw the portal was opening again!”
Wrath snarled, and a few electric arcs crackled around her greaves. “So what do we do? Where is he?!”
Twilight’s horn pulsed, still thrumming with magic. More droplets of sweat crawled down her brow. Possibilities bubbled up in her thoughts; spells, principles of energy, and magic theory collected over a lifetime of study and years of hard experience. The runes in the monolith shined with equal intensity, weaving a bridge through space and time that led precisely nowhere.
Her horn dimmed. The magic drained from the grooves carved in the stone. The gentle, reverberating hum that enveloped the monolith stopped.
“... Northwest. That way.” She stretched out a wing, pointing away from the gateway construct.
Wrath twisted her head about to look where the Princess was pointing. “... So he got away, then?”
“He did,” Twilight admitted, her ears flipping down. “I’m sorry. If... I’d just used the right spell, or... uh...”
“Ponyfeathers,” Wrath seethed, spitting the words through clenched teeth. Then her ears also pinned back. “It’s not your fault, Princess Sparkle. You did far better just now than me and my team. If we hadn't been taken by surprise or had resisted that opening barrage better than we could have cut off his escape.” The pegasus turned to glare at the armored ponies around her, and they shrunk back nervously.
Twilight turned around and pointed a hoof toward a cavern sitting under a series of interlocking igneous spires. “We can investigate his cavern here. It’s probably where he’s been living. Maybe it will help us figure out what he’s up to, but every hour we spend studying it is an hour we lose trying to catch up to his new location.”
“Check the site for traps,” Wrath ordered a trio of soldiers, nudging her head toward the cave. “You decide how much time you need, Princess. No matter what, we won’t be getting back to the barracks tonight anyway.”
“Right.” Twilight watched the stallions trot toward the mouth of the cavern, and then glanced back at the monolith.
“... Do you think he can pull off whatever he’s trying to do?” Wrath asked after a tense pause.
“...... I think it’s possible, yes. He was bringing... something with him. He was successful. I think he has what he needs for his plans.”
“And all we know about his plans is that he intends to dethrone Princess Celestia?”
“We know that he intends to dethrone Princess Celestia AND needs an incredibly powerful magic source to do so. I also speculate, based on his alliance with Kamikazan, that Blood Rite doesn’t intend to seriously harm her.”
“If you think THAT is going to reassure me...” Wrath started to say, her eyes narrowing.
“No, of course not,” Twilight sighed, pausing to shake her head and get some of the ash out of her mane. “I just wish I knew exactly what he was trying to do. All I know is that it requires a LOT of magic. Way more magic than you’d need just for a battle.”
Wrath huffed angrily and turned toward the cave. “Well, let’s ransack this hole and get a move on. I want another shot at that mule!” She stamped one of her greaves on the ground, and a crackling spark ran up the side of her leg.
Blood Rite gasped for air, his legs quivering under him while the light from his horn dimmed. The energy was bright crimson, and it seemed to cling to his horn like a film rather than the magical aura that he and most other unicorns were used to. In front of him was the shattered rubble that remained of his teleport monolith. Behind him was the more orderly rubble that he had desperately moved through the gateway before Twilight could stop him.
Rite’s rear legs gave out, and he fell backwards onto his bottom while sweat rolled down his neck. When the monolith had lit up again and another portal appeared, he had panicked. The constructs were large structures, with the mass of a fairly large tree and a network of protective spells besides, and destroying one had not been a simple matter. The sorcerer’s heart thumped hard in his chest, but each beat came slowly and heavily, as if the organ was struggling.
“This... This is it, then. The end of the line. I can’t even go home anymore,” he whispered to himself. His hoof quivered as he brought it to the tin box hanging against his chest. A shimmering, nearly invisible wave of mana pulsed from the container at his touch, suffusing his body with raw, arcane power. Yet he felt no comfort from the energies.
Rite turned his head to look over his surroundings. It was a clearing surrounded by forestland, with a small tent nearby and a burnt-out fire pit. No supplies, but a reasonably safe area to rest, at least. This was the same monolith he had used for his expedition into the lost ruins within the Everfree forest. The monolith closest to the Equestrian capital. And his only viable staging point for an attack on Ponyville.
“I have perhaps a full day before somepony of the Equestrian royal order tracks me down. Probably less. All my plans, my alliances, and all my preparations have come to this. I’m ready... I must be! There are no other options now!”
He turned toward the pile of rune-carved stones. “Now, then... preparations... we have so much to do, and even less time than I thought...”
So I know it's been a long time since I last updated this one, and I have to apologize for that. As things have gotten kinda-sorta back to normal at work, I'm now in a position to actually write more often. Maybe I can even bring this story to a close before the end of the year! We'll see 
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This didn't quite kill me laughing, but it was close!
Nice to see this in my notifications! I've missed it.
And right off the bat, we see that the upcoming wedding is where all of this is gonna go down. Many of the major players are in place, it's just a matter of them accepting the invitation.
And Ranma thought his last wedding was explosive!
Heh, Luna's not protesting this shotgun wedding at all now. At least she beat Celestia to it.
Discord is playing his own game, with his own rules. Let's see if his mismatched hands can handle the final move.
Ranma's played this game before.
Ah, bee training. Perfect for avoiding breaking point techniques and apple bucking. TOTALLY the same.
And Trixie's gonna be there! Yay! She's really learned a thing or four since traveling with Ranma. Let's see if she continues to be the wildcard that will fix everything or make things worse. Maybe both!
The only one left unaccounted for is Swan Song. I can only imagine that she may make a last ditch effort to ruin things for everyone.
I guess we'll find out. Until next time!
Edit: For a second I thought Kamikazan was going to go full Kuno Tatawaki and declare that "I must have both!"
I notice notice that Discord said Ranma was not getting married not Havoc. Why do I think Discord plans on getting Ranma multiple wives out of this just to torment him. At least Twilight and Luna would be willing to share with each other.
I was so excited when I saw this had updated. Finally after years of waiting, the wedding is soon upon us!
While reading this chapter I had to withhold the urge to scream 'how does it keep getting worse?!' Ahh, good times. That's classic Ranma. Right there.
Beautiful.
Also, I love Applejack in this, especially her interaction with Ranma.
So happy to see this continue!
It's great to see this updated again. I almost passed up on going to bed to read it; it was a very close thing.
So, it looks like the climax is approaching. With all the chaos involved, both figuratively and literally, I wonder if anyone will be happy with the outcome once the dust settles.
Varsuvius would be proud~
Another excellent chapter, and all leading uo to a very Ranma very chaotic wedding disaster, This may become Discords finest work yet! I can’t wait for the big event and Trixie and Ranma to start traveling together again.
P-please tel me they will travel together again?!
11192464
The thought may have crossed his mind, but he's kind of got his claws full with just one so far.
11192519
Discord clearly had some ideas to this effect, but nopony was biting. He'll have to make do with the one (if that doesn't get screwed up too).
11193108
That would be spoilers!
Awesome!! Great to see another update, and to hear that more might be coming relatively soon.
Very glad to see this updated! Finally after 2 and a half years... we are ALMOST back to Trixie and ranma reuniting (so close but yet so far). I liked how both Ranma and Applejack suspected that Ranma was the ne that would be getting married, which spoils Discord’s surprise a little (and he never explicitly said Ranma wasn’t the one getting married, just that it would be rediculous if he was).
... I don’t get it. Why is she crying? Because she doesn’t get to go to a wedding where she doesn’t even know who is getting married? Are events like that so important to her?
Great line.
11193442
She was crying because she was imagining getting stung by like a hundred angry bees
I was really happy to see an update for this story and it gave me quite a few good laughs.
This chapter was the very essence of Ranma 1/2 comedy, every part of it. Discord is such a troll but at the same time, I think he likes Ranna not only for his chaotic nature but who he is. There is perhaps some faint form of guilt involved or maybe he see him as one of his own, a natural chaos generator.
Trixie both Trixie and Twilight were bosses here but in very different ways.
This chapter reminded me why I love your Ranma stories for their high octane action and the varied magic cleverly used or gigantic blast thrown around, pure Anime style.
Glad to see you back and I hope we will see the next installment soon.
HMMM
Huh, Twilight did better than I expected. Not only did she manage to avoid getting captured, but she even managed to put a possibly-critical dent in Blood Rite's plan by damaging one of his stones. We'll have to wait and see of course, but that's not bad considering she probably won't make it back in time for the wedding.
Also, I'm looking forward to seeing how this clusterfuck with Discord will shake out. I'm kinda surprised he didn't tell Ranma he was getting married to Luna since the surprise really isn't necessary to make a mess. Leaving Ranma in the dark means Discord can't really claim to have been on the level with this, and I'm sure Discord could have convinced him to at least show up on the basis that the wedding will obviously go to hell before the actual marriage occurs.
Had to reread the entire story before I started this one, BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!
Also, i hope you don't end this story too soon. I just recently had to come to terms with not one, but two long times stories i love coming to an end and I'm not sure my poor heart can take a third so soon.
Anyway, great work as always can't wait to see what crazy shenanigans happen next.
I'm so happy that there's a new chapter. Can't wait for more.
This story is still going strong and I LOVE IT!
Ooh and we've got some classic Ranma shennigan chaos heading our way with Discord setting up a wedding and poor Ranma clueless to the fact that he's the groom.
And it seems a reunion is on the horizon with Trixie heading toward Ponyville and Canterlot, will she have something to speak up about at this wedding, or will she forever hold her silence.
Finally great drama with Blood Rite escaping and him working ever close to his big master plan. This story truly continues to be AWESOME on so many counts and i'm so pumped to see what happens next.
I am so glad that this is back, and look forward to reading the new chapter at the first opportunity.
Edit:
Okay, I just got through the chapter, and it's even better than I imagined. Seeing the puzzle pieces pile up through something as simply complex as a wedding set up by Discord was f-ing amazing, especially when I imagine the powder keg that Blood Rite is about to spark off; it only gets better from how everypony seems largely aware of the tropes that Discord is bringing into play, only they keep falling into the trap. Is he just that good, or is that the ol' Saotome effect kicking in again?
Good to see you back! A great chapter, and I love the way you write Discord.
So the stone real name is the rock of stupidity? Because they honesty should have destroyedbit by now.
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You know that with plot related artifacts they prevent anyone that holds them from destroying them. Even Spike who's first reaction to eat/break the gemstone suddenly kept getting the random question of where it had been and the need to wash it... Rather than destroying the world ending stone.
Basic MC Guffin defense.
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Even the Princesses didn't outright destroy it but it has gone for too long as is getting annoying.
When a story relies on everyone being an idiot and only Ranma paying for it it gets old super fast.
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Well you liked the story enough to read through the whole thing anyway, so thank you for that.
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Actually I skipped to complain so I actually didn't read the whole thing, It got stale in the first story already.
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"you forgot to attach the gigachad image"
When will this be updated??
Dang! This is a pretty good story! Although I guess I shouldn't be suprised given the other amazing series you've written. Will this story get an update, or is it on a permanent hiatus?
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It is not on hiatus, I'm just writing slowly