Brave New World
Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant
Chapter 9
Brave New World
“Did I really beat up this many soldiers last night? I feel like I didn’t!”
Ranma’s complaints went unheard as he trudged across the orchard. A medium-sized cart bounced along behind him, the interior rattling with a collection of spears, helmets, arrows, knives, and assorted pieces of scrap metal that were not obviously of civilian farmer origin. He had already searched the path he remembered taking through the orchard to escape the previous night, but a little bit of searching revealed that such discarded equipment was scattered to some extent throughout most of the orchard. Ranma wasn’t sure if this was simply because his escape had been more erratic and fiercely resisted than he remembered or if other circumstances of battle had caused them to abandon their gear in the middle of a farm, but either way the martial artist resented that they had left so much of their weaponry and armor behind.
He spotted another spear lodged into an apple tree, and a frustrated sigh emerged. “Look at this! Where the heck was this guy aiming? I was never this far from the farmhouse! Did they just start hurling spears at every shadow or what?”
Honestly, he couldn’t totally blame them if they had. Pursuing an agile, stealthy, and extremely dangerous opponent through the woods at dusk leant itself to a certain amount of paranoid terror. He COULD blame them for not picking up after themselves, though. He unhitched himself from the work wagon and walked up to the tree.
Ranma jumped up and landed on the haft of the spear, dislodging it from the bark of the apple tree. The polearm bounced after landing below him, and with a swipe of his leg Ranma tossed it atop the rest of the military detritus.
He hitched himself to the wagon again and started to leave, but then paused mid-step. Ranma glanced back at the tree, his eyes narrowed.
Then he relaxed and started heading out again. “Hi Rainbow Dash. I don’t suppose you saw any nets caught in the trees as you were headed over here, did you? Those things were pretty heavy, so I figure if any of them got caught in the branches or something the goons just left them behind.”
After a few seconds a rustling noise came from the tree. Rainbow Dash poked her head out and spat out some leaves before she addressed the martial artist with a pout. “Dang. What gave me away?”
“Nothing in particular. I’m actually kind of impressed I didn’t notice you right away. It’s not like you blend in.” Ranma caught a glint of metal and sighed, winding his wagon around toward the next blade that was scattered amongst the leaves. “Do you do martial arts?”
“Hay yeah, I do!” Rainbow bragged, swooping down and perching on the edge of the wagon. “Me and my friends get into plenty of scrapes of our own, ya know. Somepony has to protect them!” She reared up on her hind legs and did a few practice jabs with her forelegs, followed by a right hook with her wing.
Ranma watched out of one eye, fascinated. “That’s pretty neat. I don’t know much about the martial arts here in ponyland. I’ve fought lots of ponies, but, well… you guys don’t seem very good at it.”
“Most ponies don’t really LIKE fighting, obviously. And the ponies that do usually rely on magical stuff.” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “But not me! I can handle myself just fine!”
Ranma smirked. There was a crossbow bolt on the ground in front of him, and he carefully placed a hoof under its edge while keeping one eye on the pegasus. “I’m sure you can take care of yourself… THINK FAST!”
A red blur streaked toward Rainbow Dash, and she reacted instantly, jumping and twisting in the air. “HIYAH!” Her hoof struck the object like she was spiking a volleyball, and bits of wet pulp splattered across her chest fur from the impact.
Rainbow Dash blinked, staring at the partially crushed fruit lying atop the pile of weapons. “What the… did you just throw an apple at me?”
“Well, yeah. I wasn’t going to throw an actual weapon. Come on,” Ranma scoffed, tossing the discarded crossbow bolt into the wagon. “Good reflexes, though!”
“Pff! I told you I can hold my own! I’ll bet I could even teach you a thing or two!” Rainbow smirked. “Especially when it comes to flying! Because - and I’m gonna go a little Element of Honesty here - your technique SUUUUUUUUCKS.”
Ranma hitched himself back to the wagon without saying anything, and then paused to rub his chin with a hoof. “Rainbow Dash. Rainbow. Rainchan? No… Rainbon? Meh…”
Rainbow perched on the wagon again and tilted her head to the side. “What are you doing?”
“Deciding on a nickname. Maybe Rainy? Nah...” He squinted at the pegasus, as if he was weighing her in his mind.
“Just call me Dash,” Rainbow said, waving a hoof at the stallion.
“Hmm… Okay. Dasshu it is.” Ranma turned back around.
“What? I said Dash,” Rainbow repeated.
“Yeah, so did I.”
“No you didn’t! You said it all weird!”
“Don’t sweat the small stuff, Dasshu.” Ranma smirked and started moving the cart through the orchard again.
“Is this your way of getting back at me for calling you Havoc?” Rainbow asked, pouting again.
“Nah. It’s not like you came up with the name,” the martial artist replied. “Although if it annoys you and it seems like I don’t care, THAT might be because you call me Havoc.”
Rainbow Dash blew a raspberry at Ranma, who kept smirking and walking through the orchard. There was a long pause in conversation as he sought out more arms and ammunition, and Rainbow watched him chuck a few more short swords into the wagon before she cracked a yawn.
“Hey, when are you gonna be done with this? It isn’t even a farm chore, really. Just trash collection,” Rainbow mumbled.
“Yeah, I know. But I don’t have a choice,” Ranma grumbled as he pressed on. “I’m pretty sure Jack is looking to get rid of me at the first excuse she gets, so I have to take this seriously!”
“Well, not at the first excuse, no. She had PLENTY of excuses before now. It took you, what, an hour to get into a fight in her barn?”
“Not helping, Dasshu.”
The pegasus slapped a hoof on the edge of the cart, stirring the pile of sharpened steel inside. “What say we take a break and get in some Calamity time?” she asked, grinning. “Give your wings a workout before Rarity drags us off to the spa!”
“Can’t. Working,” the martial artist replied curtly.
“Come onnnnnnn. It’ll be fun!” Rainbow pressed.
“It sounds like it. But I’m working,” Ranma said again.
“You really need to improve your flying if you’re going to be getting in any more aerial fights,” Rainbow mused, her lip quirking into a smirk. “You’d be a pegasus pancake if it weren’t for me and Twi, you know. Or maybe you’d rather just have us follow you around, in case you need saving? Does that work better for you?”
A vein popped up on Ranma’s head. He jerked his body suddenly to the left, and the wagon bounced sharply on one side, tossing Rainbow Dash into the air.
She rolled in a clean, graceful arc, clearing the wagon’s cargo bed and landing cat-like on the opposite edge. Rainbow Dash didn’t look disturbed in the slightest, and she took a moment to buff her hoof against her chest. “So that’s still a no, huh?”
“It’s still a no,” Ranma grumbled.
This reply annoyed Rainbow Dash far more than the attempt to bounce her onto the ground did. “I’ll bet you’re just sour at a mare being better at flying than you are! I can take it easy on you if you’re embarrassed!”
The vein throbbed harder, but Ranma just ducked his head down and kept going. “I have a JOB to do, Dasshu. I owe Jack, okay? I have to do this!”
“Don’t you also owe me?” Rainbow Dash huffed. “I left all my spare cash for Trixie because you begged us to!”
“Yeah. So if you have work for me later, then I’ll do that,” Ranma said, pausing to toss a crossbow into the wagon bed. “But right now I’m busy. I don’t want Jack mad at me before I’ve even cleaned up the garbage from last night.”
Rainbow Dash mulled over that statement for several minutes, laying on the edge of the wagon as Ranma patrolled the orchard.
Then, suddenly, inspiration struck.
“Hey, Havoc!” Rainbow barked, jumping up into the air. “I challenge you to a duel of honor!”
Ranma almost fell over out of sheer shock. Once he recovered from his double-take, he stared back at the pegasus incredulously. “You… want to fight ME?” he asked.
Ranma didn’t mean to suggest that Rainbow Dash was some kind of weakling that had no serious chance against him. After all, more than one equine had surprised him in a fight with their magical shenanigans, clever ploys, or sheer luck since he’d begun wandering Equestria. But every pony he’d fought so far had also overwhelmingly deserved a solid kick upside the head, or at least pressed Ranma to the point where he had little choice. He REALLY didn’t want to start getting into fights with the local ponies when he’d just been handed a pardon, especially one of the mares that he tentatively considered a friend.
Rainbow Dash, for her part, seemed to chew over his shocked reply for a few seconds. “Well… I guess it doesn’t have to be a FIGHTING duel. You ARE really good at kicking things. Taking you on like that would be like… if I challenged you to a race. It would just be unfair!”
Ranma blinked. “Me racing you wouldn’t be unfair. Well, not to me, at least.”
“Oh REEEEEEALLY?” Rainbow’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Then I guess a racing duel it is!”
“Dasshu, gimme a break!” Ranma complained, hanging his head. “I can’t turn down a challenge!”
“Well, yeah. I know. That’s why I did it,” Rainbow replied. Seeing his sulking expression, she got another idea. “I’ll tell you what: let’s make it interesting. If you beat me, then that debt of yours? It’s a wash. Whaddya say?”
The pigtailed stallion seemed surprised at the offer. “R-Really? And what if you win? I mean, you won’t, but… what if you did?”
“Then you… still have to pay me back, I guess.” Rainbow shrugged. “No fur off my nose.”
“I… wow. Really? I get something if I win, but nothing bad happens if I lose?” Ranma mumbled. “Usually it’s the other way around.”
“I mean, I guess I could make you bet the MacGuffin Stone on it…” Rainbow mused aloud, tapping a hoof against her chin. Ranma flinched, and then she grinned. “But who needs all that hassle? I just wanna see how good you really are if you push yourself.”
“Well… okay, fine.” Ranma shoved aside the wagon harness. “But just a quick race, all right? I don’t want to get in trouble over this!”
“Would you stop worrying? It’s gonna take me like a minute to embarrass you, and then you can go right back to collecting trash,” Rainbow taunted, stretching her wings straight up. “There’s a pond a little further to the West. Go get changed and come back!”
“Change? Why?” Ranma hopped a few times to limber up. “I’m not flying this race.”
“What? Seriously?” Rainbow asked. “You know I am, right? I’m not going to run grounded just to make it more fair.” She found this new development rather disappointing. While she was interested in a race for its own sake, the pegasus had been hoping to better gauge Ranma’s flight technique. Also, it was going to be much harder to show off when her opponent was separated by the tree cover.
“Why would I try to outfly you? We both know you’re better at it than I am,” Ranma admitted. “For now, anyway.” Then he looked back and forth. “So where’s the finish line?”
“Let’s use that pond I mentioned as a checkpoint!” Rainbow said, pointing in the indicated direction. “First one to touch the water and then make it back to the wagon wins!”
Ranma nodded sharply, and then stepped up next to Rainbow Dash. She lowered her profile, crouching low to the ground, and then spread her wings high.
“Ready? Three! Two! One… GO!!”
Ranma bolted forward like a loosed arrow, his hooves leaving divots in the earth. The trees of the orchard sped past in a blur, and the lowest-hanging branches quivered from the wind of his passing.
Up above the trees a rainbow streak cut through the air, unsettling the topmost leaves in equal measure. Rainbow Dash’s wings pumped furiously to propel her forward, and she briefly glanced up, working out in her head how many precious seconds she would lose ascending and then later descending to reach a more comfortable soaring altitude.
Briefly scanning the orchard below revealed a glimpse of gray between the branches. Ranma was, evidently, keeping pace with her over the ground. That much was impressive, but not surprising; Rainbow hadn’t hit her sub-rainboom top speed, and didn’t want to exhaust herself before the home stretch anyway. It did mean that she probably couldn’t give up any time for the sake of convenience, though.
The pegasus veered out of the way of an unusually tall apple tree, rolling in the air and tearing a few stray apples free in her passing. With that obstruction clear, the apple trees gave way to open grass plain underneath her, and Rainbow Dash spotted the pond ahead. Ranma burst from the trees right behind her, and then glanced up to judge his progress.
The ponies’ eyes met.
Rainbow Dash exulted in her slight lead, and then decided to risk it for a bit of showmareship. With a mighty flap of her wings she surged forward, and then pulled her wings and legs tight, arcing into a shallow dive. A risky move, considering how low and fast she was flying, to say nothing of the fact that she didn’t quite remember how deep the pond’s water was.
Just before she touched the surface, Rainbow suddenly rolled sharply, and the pegasus touched the water while spinning like a drill head. The pond split around her, creating a tremendous splash around a swirling cyclone of color, and incidentally scattering a family of ducks that had been swimming too close to her approach vector.
Rainbow Dash bounced up again near the edge of the water and shot into the air, spreading her wings in preparation for the return flight. She gave her head a quick shake to get the wet mane out of her eyes, and then looked down to check on her competitor.
Ranma reached the pond, and then his body was consumed by a blue flash. Rather than touching the water and veering away he ran straight into it at a mad gallop.
Or rather, right over it.
Ranma sped across the surface of the pond as surely as if it were dirt, leaving a trail of sparkling blue flares and mild ripples behind. He didn’t even splash enough water on himself to activate his curse, and in the blink of an eye the martial artist was on the other side. Then he kept running, leaping up toward a tree in the middle of the clearing and landing on it near the top. The entire tree shook from the force, and the trunk bent over with an ominous creak.
Rainbow Dash decided to stop watching and start flying again.
The tree snapped back, launching Ranma across the clearing like a catapult. He zipped past Rainbow - who was still accelerating after her brief pause - and then struck an apple tree at the edge of the clearing. Another blue flare of light bloomed from the impact, and the tree’s apples quivered and promptly rained to the ground. Ranma kicked off the tree and launched himself into another one, and then kicked off of that one as well.
The martial artist became a whistling, zig-zagging blue streak through the orchard, bouncing from one tree to another like a pinball striking a series of bumpers. Leaves and bark blasted from each impact like shrapnel, and apples tumbled to the dirt in his wake.
Finally, Ranma spotted his abandoned wagon ahead. With a wordless shout, the stallion landed on the ground in a full sprint, his aura still pulsing around him and after-images trailing a jet stream of leaves and upturned dust.
He shifted his path alongside the wagon, and his hoof lashed out to tap the side even as he dug his hooves into the ground. Ranma’s aura winked out and he screeched to a stop, digging a short furrow through the dirt that carried him past the finish line.
Then he whirled around, a wide grin on his face. “Ha! Made it! I win!” he shouted into the sky, searching for any sign of his colorful opponent.
He found none. Granted, the trees were dense enough here to obscure much of the sky, and his senses were still a bit off-kilter from ricochet-kicking his way back, but he was pretty sure that Rainbow Dash should only be a few seconds behind him.
“Did she… get lost? Or… strain a wing, maybe? Can that happen? Is she okay?” He walked past the wagon again, his eyes still scanning the sky above. “HEY!! DASSHU!! WHAT’S WRONG?!” He shouted, cupping his hooves around his muzzle. “DID YOU RUN INTO A TREE OR SOMETHING?!”
Then he felt a feather-tip brush over his back. “Havoc! You made it!”
Ranma yelped, jumping up high enough to turn completely around by the time he landed. Rainbow Dash was leaning over the edge of the wagon bed, giggling into a hoof.
“Where did… How are… When did you…” Ranma stumbled over his words, pointing a foreleg at the pegasus accusingly.
“Did you miss me on your way in? Sorry about that. Got tired of waiting for you and laid down for a nap,” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. “Good try, though!”
It was hard to take her taunts seriously. Her casual tone was spoiled from being completely out of breath. Her chest heaved, her mane was stuck to her neck and forehead with sweat, and her wings were extended and slowly moving to keep the muscles from cramping. Obviously she had made it to the finish line before he had, but she looked like she'd pushed herself to her limit to do so. Ranma felt could have run the entire circuit again and probably matched his first time.
That was some comfort to the martial artist, but not much. He fumed silently while Rainbow smirked at him, and then sat down in a huff. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. That’s what I get for taking it easy on you.”
“I’m sure you say that to all the mares who beat you,” Rainbow teased, gingerly stepping out of the wagon and dropping to the ground. She had been joking about taking a nap, of course; even landing on a pile full of weapons had been quite uncomfortable, and she almost cut herself trying to hide and set up this entertaining ruse. “But hey! You did good! I almost had to hit rainboom speed back there to make it ahead of you! Not just anypony can say that!”
“Yes, FINE. I get it,” the pigtailed stallion groused. “Whatever. You won’t win next time.”
“Next time?” Rainbow asked, her ears perking up. “You already planning a rematch, Havoc?”
“What, you didn’t think I was just going to take a loss and then scurry away with my tail between my legs, did you?” Ranma asked. He stepped closer, and his expression finally broke into a smile. “You DID challenge me to a duel of honor, after all. I have a reputation to uphold.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be great for your reputation to lose to me over and over again, but I like your attitude!” Rainbow taunted, stepping forward so that they were almost nose-to-nose. “Any time, any place, Havoc. That’s a promise!”
“Havin’ fun on yer break, Ah see.”
Ranma and Rainbow recoiled at the sound of Applejack’s voice, and then quickly whirled around. The farmer was standing several feet away with a very displeased expression and a vein bulging on the side of her head. Behind her stood Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight, who were watching the encounter with intense interest.
“Jack! Hi! Uh… Look! Look at all the weapons I cleaned up!” Ranma said, sweating slightly and gesturing to the wagon bed. “I think that’s all of them! I retraced my tracks from last night three time already!”
Applejack approached wordlessly, and then stopped to size up the pile of blades, polearms, nets, and dented helmets. “That’s quite a heap o’ scrap.”
“I know! There was a lot! I didn’t think I took out this many ponies last night!” Ranma stopped and coughed self-consciously. “Er… sorry again about getting your farm invaded.”
Applejack didn’t reply immediately, rearing up against the side of the wagon to get a better view of the bed and its contents. “So which of these things put all them holes in mah trees?”
“Holes? What holes?” Ranma asked, tilting his head to the side.
Applejack dropped back down, and then wordlessly pointed a foreleg up over Ranma’s head.
Ranma turned around, and then sucked in a breath through his teeth. The stretch of orchard he and Rainbow Dash had been using for their race track was a mess, with a trail of churned earth and fallen apples scattered on the ground. The apples would have been bad enough, certainly, as the crops weren’t ripe enough to be harvested, but that was not all: as Applejack had said, several of the trees had shallow divots carved into their trunks within patches of stripped bark, obviously as a result of Ranma kicking off of them at maximum speed. Calling them “holes” was disputable, but Ranma didn’t really want to argue about the extent of the damage.
Rainbow Dash groaned at the sight of the trees, and then clenched her jaw when she saw Ranma’s ears flip down. “Aw, geez. Sorry about that,” she interjected. “That was my bad.”
Ranma flinched in surprise. Applejack turned a hesitant glare on the pegasus.
“YOU did that? How?” the farmer asked suspiciously.
Ranma started to speak, but Rainbow talked right over him. “Not sure! I didn’t quite go Rainboom back there because I was flying too low. Guess I came a little too close though, huh? Heh!” She chuckled and knocked her head with her hoof. “Anyway, it was definitely me who damaged your trees. And it was me who challenged Havoc to a race in the first place. Oops!”
Applejack scowled. “Well Ah guess there ain’t nothin’ fer it now, but keep yer shenanigans outside mah property, y’hear?! Ah don’t want Havoc slackin’ off on the job, an’ Ah don’t want ya tearing up mah crops! That clear?”
“Crystal!” Rainbow said brightly, briefly turning to Ranma and winking at him.
The martial artist found himself at a loss for words, and not just because it was convenient and pertinent to remain silent. He shuffled his hooves nervously as the mares’ attention shifted to him fully.
“Well, Ah ain’t here just to check up on ya. Rares and Flutters wanted to know when ya were free to have yer spa treatment,” Applejack said. “If yer done with the weapons, then ya can clean up those fallen apples and then head out.”
Ranma frowned. “Oh, okay… So what’s Sparks and the weird monster here for, then?”
“Weird monster?! Why, I NEVER!”
Rainbow Dash jumped in surprise at the voice, having failed to spot Discord before he joined the conversation. The draconequus approached her and Ranma from behind, hands clasped behind his back. Ranma glanced over at him, but then turned back to Applejack and the other ponies.
Twilight couldn’t help but smirk. “Ranma Saotome, this is Discord. Discord, this is Ranma Saotome, more commonly known as ‘Havoc’ and less commonly known as ‘Calamity.’ Discord is the Spirit of Chaos, and an ancient tyrant that we… well, convinced to be less tyrannical. Ranma is a human trapped in a pony’s body who was the most wanted criminal in all of Equestria up until last night.”
“Fascinating,” Discord said, walking a circuit around Ranma.
“So am I supposed to beat this thing up, or what?” Ranma asked, narrowing his eyes at Discord.
“Beat him up? Why?” Rarity asked.
“I dunno, that’s why I’m asking,” the martial artist said. “I’m getting a real bad ‘end boss’ vibe here, but I want to be sure.”
“Yes, well… Discord can be difficult, but he isn’t evil, so there’s no need for violence. Yet.” Twilight gave Discord a warning glare. “However, I believe he knows something about your world.”
“What?! Really?” Ranma whirled toward the ancient creature, his expression filling with hope. “You can help me go home?!”
“Ha ha ha ha ha! No!” Discord said, guffawing and slapping his knee.
Ranma’s ears immediately flipped down. “Oh. So what do you know about my world, then?”
“Oh, this and that. I’m a big fan of humanity, actually! They were such FUN!” Discord said, still observing Ranma closely.
Discord circled around to stand in front of the martial artist, and then carefully took hold of Ranma’s jaw and pulled it open, peering at his teeth. Ranma found the inspection unsettling and more than a little demeaning, but he waited patiently until the draconequus let go of him.
“Remarkable. He really is a pony. On the outside, at least.” Discord stood up straight, his lips stretching into an even bigger grin. “But under the surface you’re far more than that, aren’t you?”
Ranma didn’t really know what to say to that, but Twilight trotted up to him, placing herself between him and Discord. “Yes, we know. He’s a human. We went over this.”
“I’m not talking about something as simple as his animal heritage,” Discord mused. “Don’t you see it? This creature BLEEDS magic, yet he couldn’t so much as light a candle with it! I’ve never seen anything like it!”
“Is that bad? That sounds bad,” Fluttershy fretted.
“It’s certainly not good,” Discord shrugged. “But aside from the casual offers of violence, he seems perfectly sane. I’m impressed! He’s nothing like I expected!”
“What did you expect?” Rarity asked. “Didn’t you just hear about Ranma today?”
“I expected a monster, of course. A creature tortured by curses and haunted by the fate of his fallen people. A being that had ended the old world, and had been unleashed to ravage the new one. You know: someone like me, but without a sense of humor.” Discord laughed. “He turned out to be far more interesting, though! To think, the Ancient Shapers spoke in terrified whispers of this! A hapless wanderer suffering from one too many curses and trapped in the wrong body! HA!”
All the ponies were more confused than ever by now, but none more so than Ranma himself. “Whoa, wait, what are you even talking about? What ‘old world?’ Are you talking about Earth?”
“Of course! Didn’t you know why you were trapped in the MacGuffin Stone to begin with? What did you THINK happened after that?” Discord giggled.
“You know what happened to his world and how he got here? Really?” Twilight asked skeptically. “This isn’t just a long and elaborate joke?”
Discord rolled his eyes. “It can be both.”
Ranma’s face was twisted into an expression of confusion and dread. He understood the implications of what Discord had said, but he wanted to hear it straight. “What happened to Earth, then? And how did I end up on this planet?”
“I COULD tell you… or I can simply SHOW you!” Discord raised his lion-arm over his head and snapped his fingers.
“Here we arrrrre!” Discord sang after he appeared in a flash of light.
Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash stumbled in surprise at the sudden change in location and quickly looked around. They had arrived on a beach somewhere, with a great expanse of ocean on one side and a short cliff face opposite the water.
“What is this? Where are we?” Twilight asked. There were certainly no signs of civilization on the beach itself, and the space above the cliff was overrun with jungle. There was, however, something else further down the water line, and while she didn’t know what it was it certainly didn’t look natural. “What is THAT?”
Discord snickered while the mares stared. They were still some way away, but the object looked to be the top of some long-buried statue. It was difficult to make out any more than that, as it had been covered over with layers of dirt and stone and punctured at multiple points by the elements. What was probably the head seemed to be wearing some kind of crown with large, triangle-shaped spikes, and another section of the construct stretched up into the air above it, holding something aloft.
“It’s quite a mysterious artifact, isn’t it?” Discord asked, grinning with his arms crossed over his chest. “Shall we get a little closer for a better look, Havoc?”
Ranma didn’t answer.
Discord waited a few more seconds, and then turned around. “What, you don’t answer to that anymore? It’s a little late now, buddy.” He scanned the confused ponies, and then his expression fell. “Huh. Where’d he go?”
The mares looked about some more in confusion, and then suddenly Twilight’s eyes went wide. “WAIT!! Did you just try to teleport him?!”
Discord blinked. “… Yes? So? Why, does he get conjuration sickness?”
The other ponies gasped. Applejack’s jaw fell open, and Rainbow Dash slapped a hoof against her face.
“Oh dear. Uhm, Discord, you see, Havoc has this condition…” Fluttershy mumbled, her ears folding against her head.
“So he DOES have conjuration sickness? Because I literally made that up just now.”
“Not quite,” Rarity sighed. “The poor dear has a magic allergy.”
Discord tilted his head sharply to the side. “That’s hardly any different from the thing I just made up, which is not actually a thing, because - and I stress this point - I was being facetious.”
“Stop yappin’ and send us back!” Applejack shouted. “He could be in trouble!”
The draconequus didn’t really understand the concern, but with a shrug he raised his hand into the air again. “Too bad. This reveal would have been HILARIOUS.”
He snapped his fingers, and again they vanished in a flash.
Again, the ponies glanced about in distress and confusion as Discord’s teleport deposited them in unfamiliar territory. Unlike before, they quickly ascertained exactly where they were. They were on Sweet Apple Acres, in the middle of Applejack’s orchard. Discord had, evidently, returned them to the exact respective locations from whence they had left.
The confusion was due to the face that a considerable expanse of the apple orchard immediately below and around them had been replaced by a massive, blackened crater.
“Okay, so somepony’s going to have to explain this to me because I am stumped,” Discord confessed, twisting his head around to look at the devastation. Even the trees that hadn’t been completely demolished by the explosion were badly scorched on the sides exposed to the epicenter, with their branches stripped free of leaves and fruit.
Applejack’s legs wobbled, and she slumped to the ground with an expression of horror on her face. Rainbow Dash gave a low whistle. Twilight shouted something unintelligible and started looking around in a panic while Fluttershy quietly scanned the sky above. As all her friends seemed occupied, Rarity sighed and answered Discord’s question.
“As I said, he has a magic allergy. Magic spells don’t affect him the way they should. Well, most of them, at least. Teleport being a prime example,” the snow-white unicorn explained sadly.
Discord blinked. Then he looked around at the crater. Then he scratched his head. “Did I just kill Ranma Saotome?” he wondered aloud.
“Nah. He’ll be fine. The guy’s practically indestructible,” Rainbow Dash assured him. Then she beckoned to Applejack. “I’m off the hook for the damage to the apple trees now, right? I mean the dumb race hardly matters with a giant hole punched in your orchard.”
“DASH!!” Twilight and Applejack snapped simultaneously, glaring at the cyan pony.
“What? The last time he stopped by he blew up your home AND got chased through the farm by a monster AND got flung into the air by a tornado. I’m telling you guys, you’re stressing out for nothing,” Rainbow scoffed.
“I don’t know about that. This blast crater is… quite a bit bigger than Twilight’s former domicile,” Rarity mumbled anxiously. “And if Ranma DID survive, where is he?”
“Incoming,” Fluttershy mumbled.
Ranma hit the ground at a slight angle, striking behind the others and digging a furrow through the ground with his head. Black puffs of smoke trailed after him, marking his travel arc through the air and leaving an ashen shroud around his landing point.
“Ow,” the martial artist volunteered.
“TOLD YOU,” Rainbow Dash said smugly.
Twilight bit her tongue, electing to rush to the stallion’s side rather than snapping at Rainbow again. Discord followed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully while observing the curled-up equine body.
“He looks quite healthy for someone who…” Discord paused to glance around, “who endured whatever exactly happened here. Did he explode?”
“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” Ranma grunted weakly, his rear leg twitching. “I think I’ll stay here for a few minutes, if that’s okay…”
Twilight grimaced as she circled the martial artist, looking more pained than he did. She hated feeling this helpless, with a dozen normally useful spells on the tip of her horn but held back under the infuriating knowledge that every one of them was likely to make things worse. “We don’t actually know the precise physics behind his allergy detonations. Obviously the explosion origin isn’t inside him, or necessarily on a consistent point of contact. But anyway the important point is DO NOT USE MAGIC ON RANMA, as it will generate a randomized arcane result instead of the intended effect!” She sat down suddenly, rubbing her head with her hoof. “Of course I PROBABLY should have mentioned that earlier, when I was going over all the things I knew about him. Perhaps this could have been avoided.”
“Oh, no, there’s no chance of that,” Discord assured her. “I would have tried to magic him anyway just to see what would happen.” As the mares glared at him, he looked up at the sky thoughtfully. “What do you think would happen if I used a spell to make him explode?”
“I’m pretty sure that would create the effect where I kick you in the head over and over,” Ranma grumbled.
“Discord, if you’re not going to help, just leave Ranma alone!” Twilight snapped. “He’s been through enough already!”
“Why so prickly, Princess? This is incredible!” Discord laughed, clapping his hands. “A fragment of a lost world, a legendary warrior, is hurled to us through time! Plots and counter-plots and the odd sex-starved dragon are all ruined for having crossed paths with it! And to round it out this wonderful anomaly can twist the most timid or powerful of magics alike into absolute CHAOS! Aren’t you excited? I’m excited!”
“Ah ain’t EXCITED at havin’ mah orchard torched acre by acre fer yer amusement,” Applejack seethed.
“Oh, fine. You’re such a bore. HAVE your silly little trees.”
Discord casually snapped his fingers, and in a flash of light the ponies found themselves surrounded by Sweet Apple Acres’ bountiful orchard once more. The crater was gone, and the ground under their hooves was once more firm, undisturbed ground. The trees surrounding them were free of any apparent damage, including the gouges that Rainbow Dash had allegedly caused. The only disturbance that still remained, in fact, was Ranma himself, and the long gouge through the dirt he had made on impact with the ground.
Applejack was stunned, her expression slowly turning into a hopeful smile. “Yah… Yah fixed it? Really?”
“Really. No harm, no foul!” the draconequus said with a toothy grin.
Big Macintosh bolted into action, a frightened squeak escaping his seldom-used lips. A quick and hopefully-not-too-rough shove of his hoof sent Winona rolling into the barn, yelping in surprise. He reached down and bit onto Apple Bloom’s bow, snatching her off the ground and prompting a noise not unlike that from the family pet.
He barely made it into the barn before the first spear plunged into the ground right behind him, fully embedding its lethally sharp head into the dirt. The second spear embedded itself into the barn wall, the third and fourth hit the ceiling, and then a firm, rhythmic patter, like the sound of heavy raindrops, started falling against the structure. It was accompanied by the sight of shuriken blades and throwing knives slicing halfway through the wooden wall to poke their gleaming edges into the barn interior.
Swords, halberds, crossbow bolts, arrows, daggers, damaged helmets and maces battered the barn walls while Big Mac protectively shielded his sister and their dog, waiting for the deadly storm to end. And soon enough it did; but not before a familiar wagon smashed into the ground immediately in front of the barn entrance, breaking apart in an explosion of shattered timbers and twisted nails.
"Yes! Nopony at all was hurt! Except for Havoc, technically!"
Ranma slowly pushed himself off the ground, feeling his bones creak from the effort. Twilight fretted wordlessly, darting back and forth and looking like she wanted to help push him up but was afraid that even the lightest touch could hurt him. It was adorable, really.
“So ANYWAY,” the martial artist grumbled, turning to glare up at Discord again. “What were you going on about before? Do you know what happened to Earth or not?”
“Yes, I do. Although I really hate to divulge it outside of a humorous reference. It’s not that funny on its own,” Discord sighed.
“I don’t care! Just spill it! What happened to my planet?!” Ranma demanded.
“Exactly what you’d expect happened to it. It was destroyed,” Discord said with a resigned shrug. “A whacky death cult trapped you within the all-powerful artifact, went about their ritual, and obliterated human civilization.”
Ranma stared at the draconequus, his expression frozen; not disbelieving, nor resigned or disturbed. Discord snapped his fingers, and suddenly a series of scribbly colored circles appeared in the air, as if someone had drawn over reality with crayons.
“This is the solar system as you no doubt remember it,” Discord said, gesturing to the big, yellow circle with a spiked fringe. It was in the middle of all the other circles, which were all slowly floating around it. “All the planets swinging merrily through space at high speed around the sun as they had for billions of years! But with a little black magic, powered by the world’s most dangerous curse magnet…”
He snapped his fingers again, and the sun started shaking and then swinging back and forth. The closest shape - a bright orange circle that no doubt represented Mercury - collided with the star and was completely consumed, vanishing in a puff of disturbingly real smoke. Pluto, a blue dot orbiting at the outer edge of the image, wobbled and then flew off-course, vanishing among the apple trees. Soon the entire system was a mess, with planets being pulled closer or breaking away farther while the sun zig-zagged across space.
“Some random cult did THIS?” Twilight gasped.
“Well, yes. You shouldn’t be so surprised; your teacher uses the same magic every day.” Seeing the startled gasp from the mares, Discord chuckled. “What? Did you really think that the spell to raise and lower the sun was some grand act of long-range levitation? It’s an ancient and terrible incantation, developed to nurture or end life as we know it. We’re fortunate enough that our benevolent Princess firmly prefers the former, but she was not the first to possess this magic, and if certain ponies have their way she won’t be the last, either.”
The strange projection suddenly zoomed in on Earth as the sun flew by alarmingly close, and then the crudely-drawn circle of aqua suddenly burst into flames. Real flames, at that; the ponies flinched away from the sudden heat, and their expressions turned to horror at the smell of burning wax.
“And so ended Earth,” Discord said sadly, staring down at the flames with his arms clasped behind his back. “At least, so ended Earth as you knew it. Eventually the orbit came to be controlled and the world was slowly restored to some semblance of its former, vibrant glory. I won’t bore you with the details, but it just so happens that the reference materials used in the rebuilding effort was less Encyclopedia Britannica and more 2nd Edition Monster Manual.”
“Wait, wait, wait! You’re saying… our planet… is actually HIS planet?” Rainbow asked, pointing a hoof at Ranma and gaping.
“Well how did you THINK the MacGuffin Stone ended up here?” Discord asked. “Scooped up by hidden space aliens escaping Armageddon and then discarded on some random backwater planet with the rest of the trash? No,” he snorted. “They mostly just made off with the comics and pornography. Although to be fair, most of it WAS from Japan.”
He snapped his fingers again, and the magic projection winked out of sight, leaving the ponies with only the smell of fire and the disturbed, unsettled feeling that comes from watching someone illustrate planetary genocide like a foal’s bedtime story.
Ranma sat down heavily, his eyes unfocused and staring at nothing. Twilight considered the martial artist very easy to read, but at the moment she could only guess at what he was feeling.
“If… If all that is… true,” Ranma said, his words coming uncertainly to his lips. “Then that… means…”
“Yes,” Discord nodded somberly. “All of your loved ones are gone.”
“… BOTH of them?” Ranma asked, his voice cracking in distress.
All the mares gave him curious looks at that, but only Applejack proved tactless enough to ask what they were all wondering. “Ya only had two loved ones?”
“Yes!” Ranma paused, glancing at the ground. “Well… okay, more like one and a half.”
“Did you not get along with one of your parents?” Fluttershy asked tenderly.
Ranma looked confused. “What do my parents have to do with anything?”
Discord laughed and slapped his knee, which earned him more annoyed and disgusted glares from the ponies. Then he suddenly straightened up and coughed into his fist. “And that, unfortunately, is the story of your home planet, Havoc. You’re already here, so you cannot return there. It is extremely unlikely you will ever see a human being again, and to the extent the possibility exists it mostly involves you finding a way to shake off this polymorph deal and using a mirror.”
“Discord!” Twilight hissed through her teeth. “Could you TRY to be a little more sensitive and quit cracking jokes?!”
“I could, yes, but I doubt it would work,” the ancient spirit admitted.
Ranma didn’t seem to be listening, staring off into nothing again. Most of the other ponies didn’t know what to say, but Applejack calmly approached the pigtailed stallion and placed a hoof on his shoulder.
“Hey, why doncha take five fer now? Head back to the house fer a little while. Maybe take a nap. Ah’ll come get ya when Ah need somethin’ important done,” the farmer said firmly.
Ranma’s stare finally focused, meeting Applejack’s eyes. “Uh… yeah. Okay. That sounds good,” he mumbled, slowly turning around. “… Thanks.”
“Yer welcome. Just take yer time and get yer head straight,” Applejack said while he slowly walked away.
Rarity waited until Ranma’s backside was well outside of earshot before she sighed. “Well, so much for spa day. I’m glad I didn’t make the appointment yesterday after all. The poor dear could use a little tender care and pampering, honestly, but I doubt he’s in the mood.”
“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Discord scoffed. “You don’t get to be a font of chaos and destruction on that scale without learning to walk off the odd massacre and expedite the grieving process a little.”
“You’re a jerk, you know that?” Rainbow grumbled. “You should have told us, and let US break it to him!”
“Naw, as much as Ah hate to admit it, Ah think Havoc was better off gettin’ it straight from the source with no sugarcoatin’,” Applejack said, her expression grim. “Havin’ some experience mahself with sudden loss of family…” She took a moment to adjust her hat. “’Course, me’n Mac had a farm to deal with at the time. Ah don’t know what Havoc aims t’do now that he knows he ain’t gettin’ back home.”
“Well, I imagine you don’t want him as a permanent houseguest,” Rarity said wryly.
“I doubt you’d even want him as a permanent Equestrian, honestly,” Discord murmured.
This got him another round of hostile and/or baffled looks.
“Why wouldn’t we? What’s wrong with Havoc?” Rainbow asked.
“Didn’t you just say that he WASN’T the sort of destructive monster you expected?” Twilight demanded.
“I did say that. And he isn’t! At least, not on purpose.” Discord chuckled, leaning over and patting Twilight on the head condescendingly.
“And what’s THAT supposed to mean?” the Princess snapped.
Discord seemed amused at the question. “Did you miss the part where he demolished an impressive slice of the farm by accident? Don’t get me wrong; I thought it was hilarious! But it seems like the sort of thing you’d try to keep to a minimum in the interest of harmony and friendship and whatnot.”
“That was YER fault!” Applejack complained.
“I certainly played a decisive role in that little blunder, yes. Which is why I fixed it,” Discord admitted. “But if I remember correctly there were a great many other explosive incidents our long-lost friend has been involved in, and surprisingly few of them involve me.”
“Would you stop teasing us and get to the point?” Rainbow growled, hovering before the draconequus and jabbing a hoof at him. “What are you trying to say?! Is Havoc secretly evil? Is the MacGuffin Stone going to destroy the world again if we don’t get it from him? WHAT?! Because if you’re just going to tell us that Havoc is bad luck or that having him around will lead to him destroying Canterlot or something, Trixie already tried it and we already proved her wrong!”
Discord didn’t answer right away, looking up at the sky thoughtfully and scratching at his goatee. Applejack and Rainbow Dash got tired of waiting after several seconds and turned away, ready to depart without waiting for the Spirit of Chaos.
“If I had to put it in laypony’s terms…” Discord said, stopping the mares short. “He’s not going to harm you directly, no. He won’t even harm your property, necessarily. But he will absolutely destroy your destiny.”
“Mah what now?” Applejack asked, exasperated.
Rainbow Dash just laughed. “Our destiny? Really? What a bunch of hay!” Twilight and Rarity seemed less sure, giving the draconequus a scrutinizing stare.
“It’s true. While Ranma Saotome can, obviously, reduce a pony’s future to a brief stint in the local Intensive Care Unit if he so chose, he tends not to do that. He even seems, on balance, generally benevolent in his application of brute force! But wild brawls are hardly his only contribution to disrupting Equestria’s general order and welfare. He never sought to harm Canterlot, much less overthrow Celestia’s rule. Yet his acts of interference soon eclipsed the efforts of those ponies who did! Isn’t that HYSTERICAL?!”
The draconequus started laughing, although none of the mares joined him. Twilight looked perturbed, while Applejack, Rarity, and particularly Rainbow Dash looked annoyed and skeptical. Fluttershy simply paid polite attention.
“Applejack,” Discord said suddenly, pointing both his hands at the farmer, “tell me: have you ever lost so many trees in so little time as when Havoc was in town?”
“… No, Ah don’t think so,” Applejack said, furrowing her brow. “But ya brought the last batch back, so it ain’t so bad. And Ah lose plenty o’ apples in other ways. We get by,” she said firmly, nodding.
“Yes, you do. Barely. Budgeting a farm and a family is difficult work, isn’t it?” Discord shook his head sadly. “How much harder would it be with the occasional explosion gutting a section of your farm? Could you make up the shortfall? Do you think the harvesting season could survive another invasion of your land by the Equestrian Army? What about a roving gang of criminals seeking revenge? Or perhaps a firestorm rushing through your precious trees to serve the arcane plot of an angry sorcerer…”
Applejack scowled. “Yeah, fine. That’d be bad. Real bad. Ah’d have to sell the farm then. So what?”
Discord stepped over next to her, bending down so that his long, serpentine body was folded over. “SO give him another week or two as a houseguest, and where do you think you’ll be? You’ll still be alive, surely. You’ll still have your family. I imagine Havoc would go to tremendous lengths to ensure it, in fact. You might not even collapse into total, abject poverty! But I hardly think you’ll still have your farm. Your legacy, your future wrought into the fur of your rear end by the claws of fate, will be dust and ash in his wake. What would you do then, Applejack? I’m sure Havoc would have some ideas, if you don’t!”
Discord stood up and cackled some more, while Applejack huffed and turned away.
“Yes, Discord. Tumultuous events often disrupt ponies’ lives, and higher-magnitude events tend to happen around Ranma. Including explosions. Basic causality. Fine. That hardly proves that he destroys ponies’ destiny.” Twilight said wearily.
“Well, of course it doesn’t. How could I prove something like that? It’s not even deliberate! It’s rather insidious that way, don’t you think?” Discord chuckled, sliding up to the alicorn and hanging an arm over her withers. “I snap my fingers to turn a few ponies into twisted, hateful mirrors of their true selves, and you imprisoned me in stone for it! Havoc leads a trail of destruction across the countryside for months and you turned against the Royal Guard to protect him! I love it!”
“I’ve heard enough of this,” Rainbow Dash groused. “See you guys later.” Without waiting for a farewell, she zipped away into the air, leaving a shimmering trail of rainbows behind her.
“Yeah, Ah’m with Dash,” Applejack said, walking away toward the farmhouse. “Ah was more worried than anypony else ‘bout takin’ him in, but just ‘cause Havoc tends to get into trouble don’t mean he’s some ‘font of chaos’ or whatnot. Hogwash.”
Discord stood up and waved to the departing farmer. “I’m glad you’re all taking this so well! I was a bit worried when you told me that Ranma Saotome had not only been delivered to this era, but to this very village! But so far this has been DELIGHTFUL!”
Twilight grimaced. “I can’t claim it’s been easy or… harmonious, certainly. But I believe that I’ve done the right thing, and so far so has he. Mostly.”
“And with every step you take on that fitful path of conscience, fate unravels a little further,” Discord mused, his voice suddenly somber. Then he giggled and rubbed his hands together, instantly ruining the foreboding effect of his words. “Ooh, I have SO MANY ideas! Fluttershy, let’s go to the spa anyway! I need to look my best tonight!” He turned directly toward Ponyville and started strolling away, his long, serpentine tail happily swishing back and forth.
“Oh, uh, okay,” the pegasus mumbled, giving Rarity and Twilight a questioning look while she started after the draconequus.
“Go ahead, darling. I’m not quite in the mood for more small talk with our resident chaos spirit. Next time,” Rarity said wryly. Fluttershy nodded anxiously and then picked up the pace, rushing after Discord and out of earshot.
“… Well, I suppose I should get home too. I’m very skeptical of this anti-destiny theory, but maybe I have a book on the subject that can help contextualize the claim,” Twilight mumbled. She turned around and started heading in the direction of the farmhouse.
Rarity moved to join her, although the seamstress was still staring in the direction Discord and Fluttershy had gone.
“Do you really think it’s that absurd?” the unicorn finally asked.
“What? That Applejack might not be a farmer if her farm is destroyed? Of course it’s not. But that’s not the case Discord was making,” Twilight said. “Not to mention that his example was hypothetical; Applejack’s farm - despite suffering considerable damage recently - has not been destroyed, and she has not stopped being a farmer. Ranma has not yet managed to ruin her foreseeable future simply from living with her. And to my knowledge, the only pony who that HAS happened to is Trixie!”
Rarity blinked repeatedly while following next to Twilight. “Oh? What do you mean? I heard they were traveling together and had a sudden falling out, but I didn’t hear the details…”
“Trixie has…” Twilight trailed off, her expression turning frustrated. “… Changed,” she murmured after a long pause to think. “I can’t articulate exactly how she’s changed or why, but it was obvious enough to me that I noticed immediately while talking to her only briefly after I tracked down her and Ranma.”
“Changed in personality?”
“Yes. Well… kind of? Trixie’s always been temperamental and overconfident, but in Lancanter it simply felt more… REAL.” Twilight lowered her head, grimacing. “She argued with me and talked over me like I was nopony special and what I had to say didn’t really matter. Not to say I AM somepony special and everypony needs to submit to my requests, but it WAS objectively important, at least! And then, after she found the ruins of her wagon… she…”
The young Princess trailed off once again, staring off into space. Dried leaves and sticks cracked gently underhoof as she trekked through the orchard, and Rarity patiently followed in silence waiting for her to continue.
Eventually, Twilight shook her head. “Maybe I’m imagining things. It’s not like I know Trixie all that well. But I never would have guessed the unicorn I saw in Lancanter was a stage magician. So if that’s the best example we have, then I don’t think there’s anything to Discord’s theory at all.”
“Well, I don’t know if it’s a better example than Trixie, but there’s also you,” Rarity said.
Twilight nearly tripped over her own hooves in surprise. “M-Me? What? How?!” She didn’t mean to sound quite so defensive, and Rarity recoiled at her tone.
“You don’t think you’ve changed?” Rarity asked cautiously. “What with your library destroyed and the covert journeys across Equestria in pursuit of a troublesome stallion?”
Twilight didn’t know what to say. The idea hadn’t even occurred to her. “What… What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”
“No! Well… Not really,” Rarity hedged. “But I was more than a little surprised to hear that you ventured out into the Equestrian countryside just after Princess Celestia warned you about a new dire threat seeking to capture a Princess. And then asked Celestia to pardon a wanted criminal. And then went to bring the criminal back to Ponyville when she refused. And then, well, helped the criminal against the ponies trying to capture him.”
“What’s wrong with any of that?” Twilight asked, sounding distressed. "Under the circumstances it was the right thing to do, wasn't it?"
“Well I’m not going to say that you shouldn’t follow your conscience even if it leads to a direct conflict with authority, but it’s not something I expected of you, darling,” Rarity admitted. “I simply wonder if your time in Mr. Saotome’s company has given you a bit of a… rebellious streak, is all.”
Twilight flinched like Rarity had slapped her. The unicorn blinked, wondering if she had crossed some unspoken line.
“You know what? Perhaps we’re just taking Discord too seriously,” Rarity said, sighing and trotting ahead of the young Princess. “He says bizarre things all the time. He’s probably just trying to get in our heads or something. Forget about it.”
Twilight followed along silently as they emerged from the orchard. Rarity promptly turned toward the road heading back to town, glancing back when she noticed that the alicorn mare wasn’t following.
Rarity contemplated calling out, but eventually shrugged it off and moved on. Twilight was staring off into space again and their conversation had concluded. She trotted down the road, leaving the alicorn and the farm behind.
Twilight stood in front of the Apple farmstead for some time, her eyes furtively darting over to the departing seamstress and searching for any other pony that could witness her.
Once she decided the coast was clear Twilight spread her wings, and then jumped into the air.
The purple Princess slowly approached the window to the Apples’ guest room, checking below and behind her to make sure there were no ponies within her line of sight.
Had she been asked, Twilight probably couldn’t have explained why, exactly, she didn’t want anypony else to know she was checking in on Ranma before she went home. Certainly flying up to the guest room and peeking into the window dramatically increased the likelihood of suspicion and misunderstandings, if nothing else. But nonetheless she found the idea of asking Applejack permission to speak to the martial artist hopelessly embarrassing.
Hovering close enough to touch the glass, Twilight moved to brace herself against the frame so that she could get a good look inside.
The window suddenly slid open instead, and Twilight’s heart leapt into her throat when she found herself staring into Ranma’s eyes.
The martial artist didn’t seem surprised or displeased. He stuck his head out to check if there were any other flying ponies nearby, and then backed into the room to clear the window. “Hey Sparks. Did you wanna come in?”
Twilight didn’t know what to say at first, a deep flush covering her cheeks. “I… uh, I… sure?” She meekly flew into the Apples’ guest room and dropped gently to the floor, making sure to touch down as lightly as possible. Despite being invited in, she still felt like she was intruding, somehow.
Ranma backed up and sat down, leaning against the bed that he was using during his stay. “So, did you want to talk to me?”
Twilight took a moment to study the martial artist. “Well… um… are you... okay? About the... uh... end of the world?” She stumbled over the question awkwardly, feeling like an idiot.
“Yeah,” Ranma replied, his eyes darting away quickly. “It’s just… yeah. I’m fine.” He hopped upright again, his ears perking up. “I think I’ll just do some kata to blow off steam for a little while, and then see what Jack has for me to do next. Probably prying all the weapons out of the barn.”
“You don’t have to rush back to work, Ranma. We understand if you need some time to yourself,” Twilight assured him.
“I DON’T need time to myself! I need to get this damn debt cleared!” Ranma snapped.
Twilight recoiled, and a second later Ranma did too. His ears flipped down, and he held up his front hooves.
“Sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to yell! I, uh, I just… I’m kinda restless and, err… what Discord said really bothered, well not BOTHERED me, but, I mean, I can’t say it didn’t, right? Who wouldn’t be bothered? But it was a long time ago, except it kinda wasn’t, but, uhm-” he started babbling, and his eyes darted back and forth as if seeking an escape.
Twilight felt something click in her head, and she shook off the saddlebags that hung over her back. Without interrupting Ranma, she walked up next to him and turned to face the same direction. His legs tensed, as if he was preparing to leap to safety, but the stallion didn’t flee even when Twilight finally laid her side against his and rested her head against his shoulder.
Ranma stopped talking and heaved a deep, shuddering sigh. Twilight kept leaning against him, and then gently raised a wing to stroke his back.
“It’s okay, you know,” the Princess whispered. “You don’t have to prove anything to us. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Nopony is going to be let down because you’re distressed over the annihilation of everything you knew and loved.”
Ranma gulped. “I… I do still owe you guys, though,” he mumbled. The feel of Twilight’s fur and feathers against him was extremely soothing; so much so that he almost felt like he had to stay extra alert.
“You owe Applejack and Dash a certain amount of money to cover what they gave up, true. But you certainly don’t owe ME anything,” Twilight insisted. “You saved my life. I stopped the Equestrian state from frequently inconveniencing you and donated a blanket. I hardly think the debts are balanced in my favor.”
“It’s… It’s more than that,” Ranma admitted, his shoulders slumping. “You guys came for me when I really needed it. You stuck with me when you were facing down your own soldiers. You didn’t leave me behind when I said I wasn’t going to give you what you wanted.” He allowed himself to relax ever-so-slightly, leaning some of his weight on the mare next to him. “I just crashed into your lives, and probably made them a lot worse in some ways, but you still tried to help me. Hell, you didn’t just try, you did it! While facing down an army! You could have just left me to beat General Rock-Name into the ground and run off, but you MADE your Queen or Princess or whatever come down and pardon me then and there!”
“And I’d drag her down here all over again if you needed it,” Twilight said firmly. “Because I’m your friend. And because you’re far too powerful and dangerous to alienate. But mostly because I’m your friend!”
Ranma chuckled slightly. “I guess I’m still not used to it. And after Trixie… uh…”
Twilight quickly interjected after he trailed off. “I don’t know what you intend to do now that you’ve discovered what happened to your planet, but I want you to know that I’ll be here for you. And for pony’s sake, you don’t have to decide now! I mean, yesterday you thought you were on a grand quest to return to your family on your home planet, and today it’s suddenly dumped on you that it doesn’t even exist anymore! I can’t imagine what a shock that must have been!”
“It wasn’t,” Ranma mumbled sadly. “I already knew.”
Twilight tried and failed to come up with a coherent response to that, her mouth opening and closing repeatedly while emitting a strained “whaaaa” sound.
“I mean… I didn’t know for sure. But I’ve thought for a while that this whole ‘alien planet’ idea didn’t really add up.” He sighed forlornly. “Not that Discord’s story makes perfect sense either, but there was just… too much in common between this place and Earth. The way you speak English, the way horse towns look bizarrely similar to human towns, the horse foods based on human foods, and all the monsters that seem like they’re from Earth stories. Little things like that. And I never really had any theory for how I got here if I wasn’t on my own planet.”
Ranma leaned more heavily on the alicorn next to him, shifting his position so that her head was resting on his chest. “All this time everyone was gone, but because I couldn’t know for sure I ignored it and kept going. I thought maybe if I just held out long enough and kept winning that somehow everything would turn out okay. Now I know for sure. It’s not gonna be okay.”
Twilight blinked away a tear. Where the previous topic had her practically glowing, now she felt a deep, cold pit in her stomach. “I’m so sorry, Ranma.” She squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her cheek against his chest. “To think, when you first came to me I wrote off your past as a hallucination! You had been dumped into the Everfree millennia after everything you knew was burned away to nothing, all alone, and I… I-!”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Ranma scoffed. “Zee just dropped an exploding martial artist in your lap one day and you’ve been trying to help me out ever since. It means a lot to me, Sparks. In fact…”
Twilight felt Ranma’s body shift against hers, and her heart started racing. She didn’t intend for the physical contact to be anything more than a comforting cuddle; she’d gotten the idea from the way Ranma had casually and platonically slipped into her bunk on the train ride to Ponyville. There was something undeniably thrilling about rubbing up against the muscular stallion, though, and the Princess was having trouble keeping her thoughts focused whenever she felt him rub against her.
All naughty impulses vanished into a fog of confusion and a little fear when the MacGuffin Stone dropped onto the floor in front of her.
“If I’m not going home, then I don’t have a use for this thing anymore. Swan Song already admitted she didn’t know how to change me back to human, and it’s not like Blood Rite would help me even if I knew where the jackass was. Take it. It’s yours,” Ranma said.
“M… Mine?” Twilight squeaked.
“Sure. Or Princess Celestia’s, if you want to give it to her. I don’t care. I’ll be glad to be rid of the thing.” He sighed and reached a foreleg over her back, gently hugging the mare closer. “… Let me know if you ever figure out where my clothes went, though. I still want my clothes back.”
Twilight hesitantly reached over with a leg, her hoof hovering inches from the gem’s surface. She was nervous about even touching the gem, although mostly she was just shocked that it had suddenly been given to her. This was the outcome she had been working toward ever since she’d left Canterlot to bring Ranma back: Ranma’s record was clear. He had befriended the Elements of Harmony. He had uncovered the secrets of his origin. And now she had obtained the final objective. The MacGuffin Stone had been recovered. Everything Twilight had worked for had come to fruition.
And yet…
“Ranma… are… are you SURE?” Twilight asked. “You know how dangerous this is. Do you… Do you really think it’s better off with Canterlot?”
Ranma blinked. “Don’t you?”
“I… uh…” Twilight gulped. “Y-Yes… Yes! I mean, definitely!” The alicorn did not sound confident in her reply. “But you just… seemed VERY sure before that you weren’t going to give it to us! Have you made sure to re-examine that case? You made some very good points!”
Ranma frowned, and then pulled away far enough that he could look Twilight in the eyes. “So, do you… not want the gem now?”
Twilight’s heart started racing again. Her chest was brushing against Ranma’s, and she was suddenly very conscious of the strong, gentle rhythm of his heartbeat. “I… I don’t…”
The door creaked open, and Applejack poked her head in. “Hey sugarcube, we’re ‘bout to have lunch so… Ah…”
The farmer’s voice trailed off while she stared at the ponies hugging each other next to the guest bed. Ranma and Twilight stared back. The former’s expression was brightened at hearing the word “lunch.” The latter looked like she had been caught swiping produce from the barn.
Applejack’s ears pinned back and she grimaced. “Twi, if yer gonna try and cheer him up the old-fashioned way Ah ain’t gonna judge, but y’all are gonna have to take it to yer place. Whether it’s you or Princess Luna, Ah don’t want no funny business in the guest room! Rules’r rules!”
Ranma blinked. “Princess Luna? What? What funny business?”
Twilight’s fur had transitioned to a bright burgundy, with her face reaching a hue of hot pink. She honestly contemplated teleporting away then and there, abandoning the MacGuffin Stone, Ranma, and perhaps her entire life up until now. “Applejack, this is NOT what it looks like, I swear!”
“It isn’t? What does this look like?” Ranma asked, perplexed.
“It doesn’t matter what it looks like, because that’s not what it was!” Twilight shouted, squirming free of Ranma’s leg and jumping out of reach. “Ranma, thank you for talking to me, and thank you SO MUCH for the MacGuffin Stone!” She stuffed the artifact in her saddlebags, and then flung it over her back with her magic. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later! PLATONICALLY! Goodbye!”
She leapt out the window, flapping her wings frantically get airborne and nearly knocking off her saddlebags in the process. Within seconds the alicorn was gone, speeding away toward town.
Applejack frowned at the open window, and then turned a scrutinizing gaze back on Ranma. “So were you two gettin’ frisky in here or not?”
“What? No,” the stallion said flatly, looking annoyed.
“Okay, fair ‘nuff.” Applejack turned back into the hall. “You feelin’ up fer lunch, Havoc?”
“YES,” Ranma answered, racing after the orange mare.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
All across Ponyville, the residents glanced up into the air upon hearing a loud, indistinct wailing sound. After spotting the purple shape in the air making a beeline for the center of town, most of them shook their heads and went about their normal business. It wasn’t exactly every day that Twilight Sparkle raced through Ponyville in the middle of a nervous breakdown, but it happened often enough that everypony knew to give the library some extra space and just go about their day.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” Twilight suddenly made a sharp descent, aiming straight from her front door. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” her dive accelerated to unsafe speeds, and as she rapidly approached her home her horn started to glow. “AAAAAAAAAAAAA-“
Twilight vanished, winking away into a cloud of purple magic just before impact.
Twilight Sparkle reappeared inside and dropped onto the floor, her previous momentum safely neutralized. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” She finished screaming, and then started heaving for breath.
Spike poked his head out of the kitchen. “You’re home early. Something happen at the spa?”
Twilight spent a few more seconds catching her breath, and then shook her head. “No, I didn’t go. There was a race, an explosion, a story about the death of the planet’s previous pre-eminent civilization, and Ranma and I had a deep heart-to-heart talk AND NOTHING ELSE so we got a little sidetracked.”
Spike grimaced. “And Fluttershy wonders why we don’t seem to like spending time around Discord. Are you okay?”
“Yes, actually! Screaming during the entire flight home was surprisingly calming. Thank you, though.” Twilight’s horn flashed, and the fold of her saddlebag flipped open. “And look! Ranma actually gave this to me!”
She pulled the MacGuffin Stone out of the bag with her magic, accidentally spilling a few other things in the process. A quill pen and some papers fell onto the floor, along with a small sphere that started rolling across the room behind her.
Neither Twilight or Spike noticed. Spike’s jaw dropped open, and he pointed at the artifact breathlessly. Twilight beheld the gem with a calm smile, and then gently lowered it onto an upraised hoof.
“He… He actually gave it to you? But how? Why?” Spike asked, stepping away from the kitchen for a closer look.
“Because he’s my friend and he trusts me, Spike,” Twilight explained solemnly. “Granted, after we went through his past, it was clear that the Stone isn’t much use to him at all. But still. Trust and friendship.”
“Should we deliver it to Princess Celestia or send a letter to ask her to come here?” Spike asked.
At this question Twilight’s triumphant expression faltered. Instead of responding, she stared hard at the gem.
“…… Uh, Twilight? We are going to give her the gem, right?” the young dragon asked.
“I…” Twilight faltered immediately, failing to find the words to explain herself. She brought the artifact closer, inspecting her reflection in its gleaming surface.
Her horn sparked, grazing the jewel with its charge. The reaction was paltry; the artifact glowed faintly in reaction, then dimmed immediately. Currents of energy ran underneath the surface, hinting at a vast web of magical potential locked away beneath the inert, multi-colored shell of glimmering stone. To the uninitiated the gem would have barely registered as a magic item, much less an artifact of great power.
Twilight had been very well initiated, however.
“Maybe I should run some experiments first,” Twilight mumbled. “We know a few things that the MacGuffin is capable of: magic draining, extra-dimensional imprisonment, and, uh, destabilizing major orbital rings, apparently.” She scratched at her head with her free hoof. “What if there’s more? Couldn’t its power be used for good?”
Spike looked stunned. “Used for good? Like what?”
“I won’t know if I don’t even run a few tests! Maybe I could make a trap for Blood Rite and stop him once and for all! Or safely imprison other deadly, antagonistic enemies! Maybe I could even cure Ranma’s magic allergy or his gender-switching curse!”
Spike looked down at the gem, and then back up at Twilight. “What about the spell that turned him into a pony? I think he’d want that cured more than anything.”
Twilight didn’t seem to be listening. Her telekinesis was already pulling books from her shelves, piling them into a stack next to one of the reading chairs. “There’s so much potential here! We should at least TRY to use it to help somepony before throwing it into a big vault where it will never be seen again!”
“Okay, yeah, I see your point,” Spike said nervously, tapping his fingers together, “but would Princess Celestia be okay with you taking a few… what, days? Weeks, maybe, to study this thing without letting her know about it?”
Twilight faltered, and the next book leaned out of its row on the shelves, frozen in place while wrapped in a shroud of purple. She didn’t turn toward Spike, her thoughts racing while she stared across the room at nothing.
“Princess Celestia said she trusts my judgment,” she said calmly.
“Well, yeah. She does. And she should! We all do!” Spike assured her. “It’s just that, well, this new judgment sounds a little different from yesterday’s judgment, and I’m a little confused. And, er… it’s not always a good sign when somepony gets a powerful magic artifact and their priorities suddenly change, so… I just wanted to make sure…”
A tense silence settled over the room. Then, after several seconds, Twilight sighed and her ears drooped.
“Thank you, Spike. I think I forgot why I was doing this for a minute.” The book frozen in place shifted back into its row. “Even if it could help Equestria, if I were to research the artifact here, on my own, I’d have to do it in secret, hiding it away from my friends and the Princesses. Aside from whether it’s wrong or not, I couldn't even keep it under wraps for long. Applejack already knows, and she’s not exactly great at keeping secrets!”
The alicorn shook her head, looking even more resolute than before. “Obviously I should turn it over to Princess Celestia directly and ask to research it in Canterlot. If she says no, then she says no. There’s too much at stake for me to take such a ridiculous risk!” She turned away from her books and levitated a small pouch from a different shelf. “We’ll leave on the next train to Canterlot!” She slung the pouch’s strap over her head, leaving it hanging over her chest.
“You got it, Twilight!” Spike agreed. “You should probably wash the MacGuffin Stone before you give it the Princess, though.”
Twilight grimaced. “Spike, there’s no evidence that Ranma keeps the artifact in a bodily orifice. Stop being gross.”
Spike just raised an eyebrow. Twilight stared back, her eyes shifting repeatedly from her draconic assistant to the gemstone in her hoof and back again.
“… Then again, there’s no reason NOT to clean it first,” Twilight admitted, walking into the kitchen at a slightly hurried pace.
“Use soap!” Spike advised, walking in the opposite direction to clean up the floor.
Spike gathered up the dropped papers, and then noticed a small silver orb resting next to the couch. He placed the paper back into Twilight’s saddlebags, and then picked up the sphere.
“What is this thing?” He squinted, staring at the intricate lines cut into the gleaming surface. Many of them were arranged in strange, unfamiliar glyphs, while slightly thicker ones spread across the sphere from a fixed point in straight lines and sharp ninety-degree angles. The orb had a strangely utilitarian aesthetic, but was beautiful nonetheless; he’d never seen anything like it before.
He took a bite. “Hmmm… kinda tangy,” Spike mumbled, chewing slowly. He couldn't tell if the orb was a gem, a stone, or some kind of metal, but he found it surprisingly appetizing.
“Spike! Are you ready to go?” Twilight raced past him, heading for the door. The pouch around her neck bounced as she ran, weighed down by the gemstone within.
“Yeah, right behind you!” Spike flicked the other half of the orb into his mouth and then rushed after Twilight, closing the door behind them.
“Well… so much for that sentry.”
Blood Rite stood in front of a magic mirror, the surface displaying a constant series of meaningless ripples and color distortions. He wasn’t really surprised or frustrated that his spy construct had been destroyed, although he wouldn’t have imagined they’d make good dragon snacks. If anything, he was giddy that it had been carried along with Twilight Sparkle for so long, evidently forgotten among Discord’s hijinks.
The story Discord told of the world’s origins, of entire civilizations instantly burnt to cinders due to the calamitous whim of some random lunatic, was extremely interesting on its own merits, if not mostly irrelevant to Rite’s own mission. For the moment its only importance was explaining Havoc’s - or Ranma’s or whoever’s - presence in the MacGuffin Stone when he had found it. Blood Rite’s study of the artifact had neglected its origins in the middle of the rotting, burnt-out ruins of an ancient city, and now that he knew something of its past he almost regretted making the jewel the centerpiece of his master plan.
But there was nothing for it now. The gem was the best way forward, and more importantly, it was vulnerable. Learning about the dreadful fate of his family and species ultimately hadn’t been a great shock to Havoc, but at the very least it removed any lingering desire to protect the MacGuffin Stone from those who wanted to actually use it. Twilight Sparkle had her own designs on the artifact, petty as they were, but ultimately intended to hand it off to Princess Celestia, as expected. There would probably never be a better time to strike.
Blood Rite trotted out of his cave and into the blasted wastes outside his new home. Immediately outside the entrance was a spire of carved obsidian, riddled with runic symbols and scraps of parchment. A gateway node, albeit more crudely developed than the ones he had built and hidden across the Equestrian countryside.
Off to the side, next to the spire, was a wide, deep pit burned into the sands and lined with coals. Kamikazan laid within the cavernous pit, smoke rising from around his scaly, armored bulk. A pile of jewels and gemstones was scattered across the smoldering ground; the remains of his lunch, apparently. Rite didn’t know where the dragon prince had gotten the treasure, but he was just relieved that he didn’t have to feed the serpent himself.
“Good news, your Highness. The MacGuffin Stone has been separated from its protector,” Rite said, leaning his head over the edge of the pit. “Twilight Sparkle is heading to Canterlot with the artifact even as we speak. This is an ideal window of opportunity, and I intend to take advantage of it. When I return with the stone, we can begin the next phase of the plan.”
Kamikazan twisted his head so that one golden eye glared up at the unicorn. “Didn’t you say you could seize it even after Canterlot recovered it? Why attack now?”
“I could if I had to, yes. But such an operation would be quite dangerous. Probably not as dangerous as trying to assault Havoc while the Elements of Harmony are nearby, but far more dangerous than assaulting Princess Twilight Sparkle and some random train passengers. I wasn’t expecting such a perfect opportunity to appear like this, and it would be foolish to wait for a better one. It’s also generally better for everyone if we keep the artifact out of Celestia’s hooves entirely. She’s hardly above using magic weapons to defeat her enemies, after all.” He turned around and started walking away. “I’ll be back, your Highness.”
“Halt,” the dragon commanded.
Rite stopped, and then he heard the sound of the great dragon’s wings flapping, blasting a wave of hot and dirty air over him.
Kamikazan landed next to his pit, and then a shroud of crimson magic started washing over him. “I will join you. I don’t intend to lay here like a docile PET until you return with the means to imprison me.” His voice was a resentful growl, although it lost much of its rumble when he fully converted to his hybrid equine form.
Rite blinked. “You’re… coming with me? Why? To do what?”
“To help,” the dragon grumbled, glaring at the stallion. “You said you intended to attack a train, was it? I can aid with that.” He raised one of his lizard-like hands, and embers flickered around his fingers and then fizzled away.
Rite gulped. Having the power of a dragon on his side substantially increased the chances of success, but changed his plan of attack substantially. He wasn’t sure he liked the idea of letting the reckless fire-breathing monster loose on a vehicle full of innocent ponies, either.
“The thing about that is… I thought we were trying to keep your involvement secret?” Rite asked cautiously. “There’s no reason Equestria has to know that you’re working with me. It would certainly make your eventual dominance over Princess Celestia much easier, don’t you think?”
“No, I do not,” Kamikazan snarled, walking past Blood Rite. “You already explained how I would acquire Celess: by force, after you depose her. Fine. I assent to these terms.” His golden eyes flashed, and a series of hot sparks jumped from his horns. “But I don’t care for deceit. If I’m to take what is rightfully mine, I will do so openly, so that all of Canterlot knows its new king!” His tongue flicked from within his mouth, dripping a rope of saliva onto the ground. It sizzled when it touched the sand, and acrid-smelling smoke puffed into the air.
“Huh… That’s… Okay, sure.” Rite was singularly unimpressed by the dragon’s reckless pride, but he, at least, was comfortable enough with deceit not to say so.
“In addition… you mentioned that the lesser Princess has the artifact? We are seizing it from her?” Kamikazan asked.
“Lesser Princess? You mean Twilight Sparkle?”
“That is her name, yes,” Kamikazan snorted. “That one bothers me. I wish to end her.”
Rite winced. “That… isn’t particularly helpful to our cause, your Highness.”
“And why not?” the dragon demanded, twisting his neck about to glare at the unicorn. “The lesser Princess stands with Canterlot against this plan of yours, does she not? If she is an enemy, and I am no longer bound by Celestia’s request not to incinerate her citizens, then let us be rid of her.”
“My plan is not a brutal takeover of the Equestrian throne, Prince!” Blood Rite snapped. “This isn’t about petty conquest! My aims are greater than that!”
Kamikazan rounded on the sorcerer, his eyes blazing gold. “I am a KING, equine!” he snarled. The local air temperature jumped several degrees, and burning cracks started appearing under the dragon’s feet. “But that aside… Your plan is a fool’s errand that I tolerate because it may yet succeed far enough to complete our bargain. You say it is not about petty conquest? HA!! If you lack even this much conviction, then you may as well throw yourself on Equestria’s spears.”
Rite wasn’t deterred by the dragon’s ferocity, meeting Kamikazan glare for glare. “I seek to uplift all of equine-kind, your Highness. Deposing a Princess is merely a means to an end. That end-“
“Is beyond you,” Kamikazan interrupted flippantly. “You’re a marauder with delusions of grandeur, sorcerer. You think yourself nobler than that - BETTER than that - but I can see through your façade. Your heart seethes with spite and jealousy, not hope and love.”
Kamikazan turned again and rested a claw against the obsidian spire. “However… you’re at least capable and wise enough to aid me in my own purposes, and for that I will show lenience. The lesser Princess doesn’t have to die today, if you insist.” He jerked his head to the side, gesturing to the spire. “Are we going, or not?”
Blood Rite was silent for several seconds, glaring at the dragon prince coldly. Then he finally approached, his horn pulsing with magic. “Thank you for your cooperation, your Highness,” he said, his voice cool and flat. “Let us depart.”
Rite’s magic lit up the monolith, and the various symbols blazed with power. He set it to a particular teleport node, and then his eyes glowed. “To the end, and then the beginning.”
Kamikazan snorted as the password was accepted and a portal opened up. “Drama queen.”
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It's been a while. How deep does this conspiracy go.
Aint that cute
Well i think he would be affected by the death of some of the people he knew.
Well, Ranma isn't often depicted as introspective and in certain ways, he is quite sharp.
The line about it creating the effect of kicking Discord in the head over and over nearly slayed me, so very funny.
With as often as Applejack's orchards get damaged in your stories, you'd be forgiven for suspecting there was a grudge against apples.
Excellent chapter. Looking forward to more.
Excellent chapter.
I thought Ranma's reaction was well done and in character. Good job.
I'm curious who the one and a half people are that Ranma actually loves. Can you tell me, or would that be spoilers?
Hey, at least Ranma doesn’t have to worry about assault-happy fiances or his dad anymore.
9819691
Have you...actually read any of the Ranma 1/2 source material?
I'm, frankly, somewhat shocked Ranma cares about 1.5 of the people around him in Japan. If the manga author had been going for horror, instead of humor, just about the only things that would have to change are Ranma's attitude, and the realism of the effects of violence on human bodies.
The cat thing alone, that's some nightmare fuel all on its own.
Edit: Also, thanks for chapters! (And stories.) Enjoyed them immensely, looking forward to more.
9819724
I was wondering who Ranma's "one and a half" loved ones would be, myself. Probably his mother for the 1 and Akane for the 1/2, that would be my knee-jerk theorizing.
9819691
Honestly? Like 9819749 said, it's actually pretty generous to say Ranma cared about two people at all. Seriously, Ranma's circle of "friends and family" in Ranma 1/2 canon consists of the following:
> A father who would repeatedly starve and verbally abuse him, who sold him like property on more than one occasion, who traumatized him into incurable ailurophobia, and who was directly responsible for both his gender-bender status and his relationship problems.
> A mother who gave him up to his father to raise for 10+ years and who entered his life swinging a sword with every intention of making him commit suicide through self-disembowelment if she decided he didn't live up to some nebulous definition of manliness.
> A self-proclaimed father-in-law who would routinely emotionally bully Ranma into serving as his dogs-body.
> A "surrogate grandfather"/school grandmaster who was constantly subjecting him to low-level sexual abuse, when he wasn't using him as a scapegoat for his own crimes.
> A self-proclaimed "great-grandmother in law" who would trick and torment him in an effort to bully him into marrying her great-granddaughter.
> Akane Tendo, his "official fiancee", who literally trusted guys who had tried to take physical advantage of her more than she did him and who routinely both accused him of sexual misconduct and hit him for it.
> Shampoo, his self-proclaimed Chinese Amazon fiancee, who spent a prolonged amount of time trying to kill him before she decided she had to marry him, and who was perfectly willing to abuse her cat-shifter curse to terrify him when he made her angry.
> Ukyo Kunoji, his former childhood friend turned crossdressing yandere fiancee, who would try every dirty trick she could think of to get him to accept her suit.
> Nabiki Tendo, whose willingness to financially exploit him went from charging him money in life-threatening situations to selling racy photos of his female form to selling Ranma to the yakuza as a prostitute.
> Kasumi Tendo, who just let her sisters run roughshod over Ranma as much as they wanted.
> Ryoga Hibiki, Ranma's former best friend, who is constantly blaming Ranma for everything wrong with his own life and trying to seduce Akane.
> Mousse, Shampoo's unwanted boyfriend who keeps trying to murder Ranma so Shampoo will go out with him.
> Tatewaki Kuno, who was constantly trying to beat him up to take Akane as his own - when he wasn't groping and glomping Ranma's female form.
> Kodachi Kuno, Tatewaki's crazier little sister, whose idea of "expressing affection" for Ranma at its worst was "paralyze him with a sneak attack bomb and then throw him to my pet crocodile".
I'm accentuating the negative here, but there's a reason that people like to cross Ranma over with shows like FiM; compared to who he used to call a social circle, anyone is an improvement. Heck, Discord and Trixie are hands-down legitimate improvements over Ranma's former "circle of friends".
9819799
Definitely NOT his mother. And I quote: “What do my parents have to do with anything?”
9819691
"You're telling me everyone in my old world died, but not only do you still have cats, you also now have giant talking cats with wings!?"
9819806
It's probably a good thing Ranma's first extended contact with a pony started out as "business associate/slave driver" because if he'd stayed with the Mane Six right away he would've eventually gone either paranoid or catatonic waiting for the other shoe to drop on those friendships.
9819833
Huh. Then... I'd probably guess his "1.5 loved ones" are Kasumi (for all her failure to stop her family treating him like dirt, she was always abstractly nice to him, and she fed him regularly) and Akane, or else Akane (the 1, because he was romantically attracted to her) and Ryoga (the 1/2, since Ryoga was his best friend and his favorite sparring partner as well as an annoying jerk).
9819849
Considering Ranma's talent for self-denial/willful obliviousness and the fact he DID accept the motley bastards of the NWC as his "friends", I think Ranma would have fared okay, since he's good at the "enjoy the NOW, don't worry about what could go wrong until it happens" mentality.
Now, what he's going to do when he realizes that A: Twilight Sparkle is starting to have a little crush on him, and B: Princess Luna is full-scale attracted to him and openly signalling that she wants him, that's a whole nother story.
9819872
I mean, yeah, he's pretty good at optimism when it comes down to it but even he knows that stuff goes wrong around him more often than not and that everyone around him in Nerima was going to waste no time somehow making it his problem. I just think everypony doing their best to reassure him and not blame him for anything that isn't actually his fault (or try to kill, extort or beat him up for it) would make him paranoid just because it's so far off from anything he's used to.
9819749
I say Akane for repeatedly he did things including willingly go female to get her out of stuff so he does care for her. And likely the cook girl for she wasn't as annoying as the rest
Lovely continuation of this story! Some heavy revelations handed down by word of draconequus and a little budding romance on the side. Just your typical day in Nerima/Ponyville.
I see you got the whole comment section worked up on Ranma's comment on who he misses. Sly dog, it doesn't take much to restart the whole "who does he love/who should he marry?" debate. I'm curious too, but I'll hold off on speculating just yet.
Rainbow Dash is a cheeky little shit when she wants to get her way. At least Ranma's a good sport about it.
Twilight's growing affection for Ranma is extremely adorable! She's only a hoof step away from blurting out "fiancee".
Discord's a douche, but really, Applejack is right in that it was probably for the best that he explained it the way he did. Though I'm sure he was disappointed that Ranma didn't get the chance to say, "You blew it up! You damned dirty equines!"
Trixie's legacy still lingers and Ranma's reality distortion field is claiming a new victim.
Looks like more action next time. Looking forward to it!
This was another enjoyable chapter. My only (slight) disappointment, due to my own selfish desire, is that Rainbow Dash didn't make a challenge that resulted in a humorous flight event with Ranma.
To other commenters, concerning Ranma's loved ones:
From his point of view, if loved ones don't include the familial, then, yeah, Akane is probably the one. The half is probably himself.
At least, I don't recall him favoring anyone else anywhere near as much as Akane, to a point that distinguished them from his selfish or noble acts of kindness, or his general treatment of the fairer sex.
Ranma's pretty tolerant and forgiving, though, when all is said and done. He doesn't draw his line where we would on a lot of things, so there aren't many characters that he perceives as being purely antagonistic or worthy of hate. It doesn't hurt/help that he often has to be pushed into taking someone seriously, sometimes even when he already treats them with contempt.
He views plenty of people on the positive side, as a result, which includes his mother, who he sought the approval of. I wouldn't be surprised if she was more important to him than Akane, actually. Either way, they're the only two that he's shown any real overt emotion of love toward, as far as I know, so I would personally disagree with the one and a half assessment of who his loved ones are, but it's used for a laugh and ultimately helps Ranma not dwell on the drama of his loss as much, so there's no argument from me there.
9819973
And now you've made curious not only about what Ranma's various fiancees would think of the ponies in general (because, to me, it's hilarious yet adorable to imagine Shampoo cooing over how cute the likes of Rainbow Dash or Applejack is, much to the very tomboyish mare's chagrin), but also which of Ranma's new mare harem their ghosts would root for, presuming the millennia in the afterlife had brought them the maturity to invoke the "I Want My Beloved To Be Happy" trope.
Personally?
> Shampoo would be rooting for Princess Luna, no doubt in my mind, because Luna is the most like herself.
> Ukyo would probably favor either Twilight Sparkle, because she always saw herself as the "sane and normal fiancee", or maybe Applejack, if she had a reason to perceive the latter as being interested.
> Akane... I don't know. She's always been such a prude that I can't help but see her being unable to get over the "perversion" of Ranma making a life for himself in this new world, complete with taking love where it's given.
> Kodachi would definitely root for Swan Song, since that mare is like what 'd happen if Kodachi and Lina Inverse got really drunk and somehow one of them gave birth to a filly after a passionate lesbian tryst.
Ranma cannot be happy. That's the rule. That's the first curse put on him that make it so the others are in effect ten fold.
Well that secret is out of the bag. Nice to know Blood Rite is that crazy that even after hearing about just what happened the last time something messed with the stone he wants to go forward. I hope that his allies find out the truth and turn against him. They can keep their rivalry with Ranma but Rite is just like the nut who started the whole mess.
Just a quick question but is polygamy allowed in this Equestria becuase I think we can add Rainbow Dash to possible love interests.
The Hypocrisy. It burns.
And so the endgame approaches! Though I'd really like to finally see what the 'eff Blood Rite's deal is, especially after all this build-up.
The Twilight and Ranma interactions are cute, but RanmaxTrixie definitely have the best chemistry in my opinion. Even if they weren't shipping material, they just fit each other so well!
Discord's attempt to replicate 'Planet of the Apes' was pretty great also.
Well, I had the feeling Ranma would be learning about what happened sooner or later. Ah, well.
Nice job all-around. Looking forward to the next chapter!
What an excellent pile of chapter! I really wasn't expecting Discord to spill the historical beans, but it works.
And Twi being adorably flustered. Stupid sexy Ranma. How many ponies will end up shipped at him in the end? Rainbow might even want in on this, based on a shipping goggles interpretation of this chapter's events.
Also, Rainbow criticizing his flying technique (and winning the race) was golden. He really doesn't know all there is to know about fight and flight, after all.
9820123
Well, he is a Dragon.
And my bets are on Akane, and Ukyo or 'Ucchan'.
Ukyo did more or less treat him like an actual friend and acted as a confidant to him throughout the series, and they WERE short-lived childhood friends. I wouldn't push it much beyond that, but if his statement in the chapter eliminates his mother from the list, then by process of elimination, I'd say that makes it Ukyo. With Akane being there by default because the story overall required them to care for each other because
Aphrodi-I mean Rumiko Takahashi said so.Nah, not a jerk, only someone with a harsh life surrounded by maniacs.
Still sad though
9820372
While you do have a good point about the railroading with Akane, I think Ryoga was probably closer to a friend since Akane was a serious bitch to him the vast majority of the time. That said, a more plausible interpretation would probably be to write that off as .25 for each because there were serious problems in both relationships.
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Okay, look, I'm not actually going to establish which two it is, come on
Part of the joke is getting the reader to reflect on the people in his life and the ultimate conclusion that only two of them had enough emotional impact to shock him with news of their deaths. The other part is to make the reader wonder about who it was.
Firmly establishing who among the old cast this fanfic's Ranma cared about doesn't serve a narrative purpose unless I wanted him to obsess over them in future chapters, and would probably start way too many comment arguments
9820155
Aw, shucks. I can't fool you guys; the main ship is always the first crush.
… Meaning it's either Trixie or Zecora
9820281
The best part about the Dash ship is that it doesn't matter what her canonical sexuality is! It works either way!
9821055
Good call.
9821062
Stop trying to deflect. First crush is obviously Swan Song.
I think I see where this is going. Blood Rite has some sort of problem with the implication of cutie marks, with destiny. Ranma veers others away from their destiny. Their combined shenanigans with the macguffin stone will solve everything somehow to some comedic extent. Also, remember guys this a Ranma 1/2 fic, I'd be real surprised if Ranma actually ends up with anyone (then again, this IS a Ranma 1/2 fic so hoist the sails?).
9821055
I understood you weren't going to reveal them and that it was a joke, so leave me out of it. XD I was just offering my own perspective to the other commenters because of how different theirs were. After twenty years of experience with Ranma 1/2 and its fan-fiction, I'm thoroughly done with arguments.
Personally, because of how unaffected Ranma was about the thought of everyone being dead in the prequel's Awakening chapter, and how quickly he got over it, I thought the joke might have actually been that he had any loved ones, from the direction of none rather than some.
9821062
Wouldn't his first crush technically be a "video game monster?"
9821055
Never said it had to. This is the internet, we speculate on inane crap all the time. Why would you expect this to be any different?
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CRAP, YOU'RE RIGHT
Damn, this is going to end a lot differently than I thought
I like how everyone seems to have just kind of shrugged off the revelation that this used to be Earth after a while. Ranma at least has a little bit of a good reason. He did witness the apocalypse already, so it wasn't like he was going to get home and his family and 1.5 friends were going to be all there, alive and well, waiting for him to return. Plus what Ranma said about cluing in to it. Even Blood Rite just kind of glazes over it and doesn't give it more than a quick second thought!
As for Ranma's 1.5 friends...Akane is likely the first guess. The other friend (or half a friend) would probably be either Ukyo or Ryouga. Ukyo was Ranma's childhood friend and there's still some of that friendship even as she's changed to pursuing Ranma as a love interest. Ryouga is fairly acerbic at the start of the manga but over time him and Ranma become fairly close fighting best buds, and his defining 'good person' moment is when he defends Ranma when Ranma has all his strength removed from him by the Weakness Moxibustion technique.
Discord telling the ponies Ranma will destroy their destiny is pretty accurate.
Also, is Twilight trying to sidle up to Ranma? Trixie will not be pleased
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To be fair, the ponies react to the lost humans about as well as I react to the lost Aztec and Incan empires. There's nothing to feel.
As for Ranma destroying destinies, bah! One should always remember that where one destiny is destroyed, a new one is created. Destiny is little more than an End Point to a journey through life, being that it is based on the term 'destination'.
On the solid plus side, Discord can't push Ranma around if he doesn't want to discover if he is in fact just as kickable as everything else Ranma's gone up against. On the negative side, the moment Ranma was like 'You can have the McGuffin Stone', I went 'Oh dammit, he's the safest place on the planet for it and he's giving it to the naïve princess of friendship while being watch by the drone orb. Now all roads will converge as Blood Rite does his thing.'
So what do you have against apples and apple accessories, SF? AJ just can't seem to catch a break in your stories. But hey, at least Discord fixed most of the damage this time around (that was a nice touch with Big Mac and the rain of weapons, by the way).
And Spike, as always, playing the voice of reason to offset Twilight's neuroses. It's an underappreciated role, but an important one.
My only complaint is the lack of Trixie in these recent chapters. We know full well that she's the only one who can handle him, as well as the only one that he actually likes (even if he still won't admit it), so she needs to get herself back in gear and pick up Ranma again so they can get back to hospitalizing the countryside together.
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I'm pretty sure I keep destroying Applejack's property because she has way more of it than the other mares, but over time the habit grew and became an addiction. I need help!
And yeah, I know the absence of Great & Powerful Horse is galling, but I promise it will make her re-entry that much sweeter!
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Well... As long as you promise, I suppose I can endure the wait. And we'll make sure to stage an intervention for your Apple problem if it gets too bad, don't worry.
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Still would prefer him to get on with Twi. But that is in part just me being a Twi fan and Trix being more friend than crush material.
Though going with Dash is also something fun... but there is too little buildup there
Been a while since I left a review but still really loving this entire thing.
I'm quite enjoying Ranma's interaction with Twilight in particular and the chance for romance there, but i'm also hoping we haven't seen the last of Trixie, and that theirs still a chance things can be fixed between Trixie and Ranma.
Now may I say I love how you played the revelation in Ranma and the others finally learning that Equestria is Earth, and Ranma realizing the truth of his circumstances.
Wooooo! Loved it. Discord mentioned a mirror. Is that a reference to the Nanban mirror? Does it still exist and could Ranma use it to return to the past and try to 'fix' everything?
9842439
No, he's talking about the magical mirror to the Equestria Girls parallel universe.
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9842439
It was neither. He meant a plain, normal mirror, which Ranma would use to see himself if he was ever turned back to human.
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Didn't even think of the mirror to the Equestria Girls universe. Does that one exist in this universe and do you have any plans for it?
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I mean, I'm not going to say it doesn't exist, but no, it won't feature at any point.