- Member Since 28th May, 2015
- offline last seen April 13th
Extradimensional Alien
28-year old fanfiction writer from Russia.
Extradimensional Alien
Joined 28th May, 2015 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- ChamomileTea · 13k words · 54 10 · 1.8k views
- Plotbuster · 60k words · 51 5 · 1.7k views
- Haseo55 · 8.7k words · 24 5 · 1.6k views
- IMNOTHERE889 · 2k words · 75 3 · 4.9k views
Featured In14
Shipping 💖11,669 stories ·9,739 members
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,814 members
The Writers' Group56,386 stories ·9,291 members
Rainbow Dash7,252 stories ·4,142 members
Humanized Ponies!5,597 stories ·3,468 members
NSFW3,907 stories ·1,373 members
I Just Want a Comment15,703 stories ·3,671 members
Official OC Group1,482 stories ·464 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.13 seconds
Total duration
747 users online
660,584 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I let you suprise me about how the romance happens.
I just hope it isn't him acting as obvious as possible about his potential crush, which is probably causing characters like Sunset or Applejack to smirk at him and teasing him about liking Rainbow Dash, maybe even one of them forcing him to advance on her or stuff like that.
I mean the usually thing would be, that he is the one who has the crush, and not what I would like too, that not the main char is starting in a romance. (I hope you can understand what I hopefully right in a way it makes sense).
I know what kind of person he is supposed to be with his table top gaming and stuff like that, but I hope he isn`t the typicall wimp, and that Rainbow has actually a small change in her personality, if she should notice or even return the feelings. I just think she wouldn't need to look cool in those moments too.
I haven't read it yet, i'm just curious if you already can give me some sort of all-clear signal.
7536888
Maybe you meant "oblivious" and not "obvious"? Well, while I might write some teasing, my plan did not involve forcing Scroll Pen to advance on Rainbow Dash.
If I get it right, your preference is when the main character starts the romance? I'm not giving any spoilers on how romance starts. But I am not writing the "usual thing" you described.
I hope Chapter 1 reassures you he is not the typical wimp, specifically the part where he has a P.E. class. And I am doing my best to implement what you said on Rainbow Dash as well - your thoughts on that matter coincide with mine.
Hmm, well, that's my all-clear signal, I think.
7537028
I noticed my sentence was messed up.
I more or less meant, that I actually hope Dash is showing interest to, or is actually the one starting the relationship.
I can only say that in all the storys I had read, it is usually the main char that is getting all the teasing (which isn't always bad) and that characters like Rainbow Dash can't act different than being awesome and bragging pretty much...kind of perfect I mean.
Yes till now he doesn`t looks like a wimp and I like it that you think the same about Rainbow, or have similar thoughts on the matter.
I don't want to sound like I would whine about everything, but I like to think if I don't say anything, I don't have a chance to get what I would like to see. While the author has the say in how it has to be, often enough it happens in the same way, and that is the main Char bein some sort of puppet and....well I explained it already.
Okay sorry, I actually thought I had read it already, I guess I remembered something different, but I`m going to do it now.
I tell you how much I liked it afterwards, but I don't judge it to much till after 5 chapters at least.
I need to finally watch it, even if I don't like that they can still transform that easy without the pony Twilight, even when they had no magic before, and stuff like that.
I like his analytic thinking.
I really like his personality and that he isn't drolling over any girl or Rainbow as if he just discovered what girls are.
I really enjoyed it, and made sure not to judge before I understood the situation, sometimes I can jump the gun if I read something that looks like something that already happened the bad way.
I need to stop worrying about my time, but learning, and searching for work, doing what I want, and other stuff is a bit much lately. The story just made me remember what I actually wanted to change for myself, but can`t exaclty do it because I still have to find a different time when I want to do certain stuff. I would play basketball if I would know enough people that want to play it, and I kind of want to run more too, but I start to understand why some people can`t exactly mae youtube videos because they have to learn or study.
7537590
Answering that one would mean spoilers, no matter what answer I give. Sorry.
That's a trap I'm trying to avoid; will see how it goes, since this is my first romance fic.
Main character being a puppet is not what I like either.
Happens
I'd appreciate any feedback, even before the "five chapters" mark. (Given how I planned the story, it definitely should be more than five.)
7537684
it's preferable if you did; the plot occurs after the events of the movie, and references to it are spoilery.
Thanks
Sometimes it's funny when that happens, but yeah, I didn't want that either.
It happens; I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter. I hope to deliver more high-quality chapters in the future. Thank you for the comment
If you read about a chracter saying something like that, it often sounds much more dirty then they probably mean it. However you already told me how he is.
give him a personality and make him a person, then I'm okay that he is there, I just got used to hate him after a while and some talks with other people.
Okay okay, forgot my last wish, if you make a scene about that, let Flash "play" a person with personality..
To be honest that he is playin that and wasn't Twilight addicted so far looked pretty good.
still not to much with the blushing as an overreaction, and everytime one could think it would start to get to much it is suddenly no more.
Long story short, in chase my writing doesn't makes any sense, I liked it.
7564038
While I am trying not to write Scroll as a pervert, he still has hormones and an eye out for good-looking girls, so some potentially dirty-sounding moments are inavoidable - however, he tries not to make his whole life revolve around that.
I don't personally hate Flash, even if he is the cliched "popular boy that the girl protagonist falls for" incarnate, and I am a shameless TwiFlash shipper (lol I'm such a heretic
) - but I do recognize that Flash's depictions in the movies and shorts are not really defining, and sometiems even contradicting, so he does need more personality. I can't honestly promise much personality for him, since he is not the focus of the story, but I'll see what I can do.
I'm trying my best, glad that you believe so.
Thanks
7564217
it works so far, and I promise not to judge to fast.
7564228
Thanks
7564287 is this going to be updated?
7782916
Yes, I am working on the story, although very slowly. The last three weeks have been madness for me.
I admit I skipped the Dungeon part, mostly because I didn't had the time, normally I enjoy such storys, but this is a more or less difficult month for me.
I know I shouldn't always overreact, but I'm still happy that it looks like this would be an believable romance story between Scroll and Rainbow.
I think he was one of the chases where I hoped that he wouldn't be the typicall wimp that is kind of standing in Rainbow Dash's Shadow while her friends would berate him or make fun of him and stuff like that. However the relationship between him and the group judging by the chapter and what I remember, seems to be a pretty normal one. I'm glad that it doesn't always have to be the typical group setting, that they don't always have to talk about who likes which one, that it Scroll doesn't takes the typicall male main char part that I hate and hopefully if they should start dating they maybe have a heartfelt talk about how they think about each other. I meant that maybe Rainbow would be affraid that she would exactly give the image Applejack described to Scroll and which scroll hated, even if Applejack tried to defent her too.
The part with the heartfelt talk was a sudden with that I probably thought would fit well since the story is going so well. Heck I even liked it that they could talk like mature people in here not counting that joke Rainbow made since you expect it from her. Well maybe I should say mature, but I usually see characters not acting like guys I know or like myself, which doesn't overreact or blush easy if Rarity maybe would wink, or just if one would see her.
I guess what I mean is, sometimes I think the characters are acting always the same way.
7845283
Stuff happens; hopefully, you'll be able to get to this part later. I'm curious to know how well I did.
Glad to hear that
That's what I am aiming for.
Main male character being the wimp is what you hate, right?
I'm glad you liked it; and yeah, if there's anyone I'd expect immature jokes from, it would be Rainbow (and Pinkie Pie, actually, but she's not the focus in this story).
Hmmm, I'm not sure I understand you fully. Could you elaborate, please?
7851936
yep I mostly hate it because it happens to often.
The main char is always blushing, the others always tease him and he is always embrassed by it, he never has a personaliy like mine or others which would overreact like that. Rarity can always manipulate the main char with his good looks and the main char is always doing something because he is actually interessted in it, but the other characters get to believe he does it for certain reasons which is even more embrassing for him.
For example in one story where he is in love with Rainbow, Applejack is transforming into the element of love and already knows that he loves her, even if it was Rainbow that is actually in love with him. Then he is some sort of nerd that likes to read stuff like a biology book, I thin he wanted to be a doctor. Now you can maybe guess that Applejack and other characters started to think that he was reading it only to figure out how Rainbows body works. They pretty much described that this was the reason.
I have no problem with sex or stuff like that, but I start to hate it that that is always the only thing the characters start to get concentrated on. I think I would love more variations in the characters personality.
to be honest I think sometimes it starts to get boring that Pinkie is currently interessted in nothing else than sex or the jokes about it. However I admit it can still be done pretty well.
I had written it wrong so it maybe didn't made completely sense. However like I said before, I wanted to explain that I usually have the same reactions or the same personality in main chars. There are rarely guys like me or my friends that wouldn'T blush over every little thing, that would have nothing else to do than to check out every mare right away.
There is rarely a main char that maybe is more polite and doesn't throw himself down to earth to get a glimpse at some Mares private parts. I now that is an overreaction, but I hate to see always the same.
I know that everyone looks at some point even if it is only to sate your own curiousity, but why do they always make it look like nothing would be more important to the main Char.
I hope it makes more sense, I tried to explain it and I hope you don't understand me wrong. I know I can take stuff to seriously but I actually have some reasons why I hate certain stuff. I bet you have stuff to that you can't see anymore.
7852020
Hmmm, I can't guarantee Scroll wouldn't blush at some teasing, but I'm not planning for him to have no teeth whatsoever either. In any event, there needs to be at least one more chapter (or 2-3 chapters) before I can delve into that.
Did you mean "her good looks"? And yes, manipulative Rarity is a cliche I kinda dislike.
I think a biology nerd would already know how a female body works without any extra reading, y'know...
Same here, "sex-starving maniac" mode is something I really want to avoid.
I thought that Pinkie might be more into immature jokes in general, not just specifically in sex-related ones, but I see your point.
Yes, now it makes more sense to me. Thank you. And indeed, I do have things I really hate seeing in fanfiction.
7854844
that's perfectly fine, I only want to know that not everything gets under his skin like how it happens to many other chars.
exactly, but I bet you understand what I mean with that right? They take every chance to embrass the main char and maybe make a chliche out of him.
most of what you write about them sounds write, it is like they walk on a thin line that feels just write when reading the story.
So err I expected him to say, "No I'm just saying that this is not real".
Didn't thought he would speak like he well don't really likes it. However I guess if some people know how it really is they don't enjoy everything anymore and it is kind of their own fault that they can't enjoy it anymore because of always thinking it is not realistic.
I don't want to call it love right there, but it seems he finally starts to enjoy her company.
It may sounds like an execuse, but it seems he only loosed because he started to forget about any tactics and she was only two points better, I would say it was a good game.
sport person or not, maybe Rainbow Dash should have a scene where she is overwhelmed because of joining to many sport clubs.
Not sure how many sports she plays here, but I feel like she mostly can do anything and probably trains anything, but I'm okay with the Lasertag team.
1. I would like you to somehow write it in a way that makes both of them suddenly realize that they are in love, but don't understand it for a long time. 2. Another good option for me would be that Rainbow Dash would start to well want to spent time with him in a way that she would do it, I think that in to many stories, at least Equestria world stories it is already the main char (which is mostly a guy), that has to take the advantage. 3. Maybe they just get drunk because they either party or manage to get themself get locked into some sort of building where they have only some alcohol left to drink. 4. Then both of them or one of them has a picture with them kissing or something on their phone, which of course they had done themself while being drunk. (I try to get some unique scenes everytime.)
I feel like this would normally be a moment where I say that it happens to fast, but the way you write it it keeps feeling just alright.
This might be one of the first or my favourite equestria girl romance that I had seen so far, even if I still have to watch the sports one. I enjoy the stories more than the movies, especially if they work out without the extra magic stuff.
I say it again, you keep writing it in a way where I can hardly do anything elsem than to believe that he honestly starts to like her. I'm not sure if I would say that he already starts seeing her as a girlfriend, but it feels like because they are making each other angry all the time, suddenly getting along makes the happy feelings stronger they recieve. (I hope it makes sense, finding the words in english or how I say it is difficult sometimes). The moment where they hugged each other where really nice.
I guess it is because it is Rainbow, but I would really enjoy her starting the romance, in her own way and someone else has to explain to Scroll what they think that Rainbow probably wants, but please in a way where they are not alknown. I could image him having to move away or something and then Rainbow starting to notice that she likes him, but that feels like something that should only happen if there is going to be a sequel.
This is a random thought, but maybe you can make them 18 or 20 if you should write a sequel, describe only a little bit of what happened so far and make them move out together. Either still living in town or further away, which would lead to them seeing some of the girls more and others less often because they probably live somewhere else too.
I really hope if they only get together in the end of the story, than you could actually think about making one or two more sequels with at least one of the storys they would adopt a child, and then you could turn this story into a ....oh I noticed it alreadys is a M rated story, I thought it was on teen.
I make it one of my favourites for now.
YES! Update!
Oh, goodie, he's one of those whiners who uses stupid buzzwords like "unrealistic".
7937753
Well, yes, having too little of a suspension of disbelief can really damage one's ability to enjoy things.
I have plans to have Scroll delve a little more into reasons for him disliking Daring Do or some other things popular among his coevals, but not in the next chapter, that's for certain (unless plans change).
I'm glad that you find the way characters interact in the story right
Ma-a-a-a-a-aybe a little...
Scroll did not totally forget about tactics - he still tried to flank or backstab Rainbow, following the "the only unfair advantage is the one my enemy has" principle - but yes, by that time he practically exhausted his tricks and was unable to invent something on the fly, plus he lost his cool somewhat.
I followed the first Equestria Girls movie, where Rainbow is stated to be the captain of every sports team in Canterlot High, since there appears to be no countermanding info in sequels. I do think of showing consequences of her being that much into sports, though.
1. I will see what I can do about it; what you say is close to my own goals, so maybe it might work like this.
2. I have some plans regarding them spending time together. I'm not sure who would be the one to start the romance, though; this is one of the things that I feel I would work out best when the flow of the story already goes somewhere and not in advance.
3. Hmmmm, to be honest, alcohol-induced romantic moments are something that is not to my tastes when done wrong or unoriginally, since I find them too cliche...
4. ...although this actually sounds like an excellent idea! I cannot give any guarantees I will use it, but if I do, I'll give credit to you, and if I forget, don't hesitate to remind me.
Thanks, I try to do my best
I am glad that you feel like it. Honestly, I'm a little flustered, since it's my very first attempt to write such a story
Yes, I think I get what you mean. There's still time before he starts to like her like her, as the saying goes, but the first steps for them to be at least friends (even if a bit vitriolic towards each other) have been made.
Truth be told, sequel to this story isn't something in the works. This story was actually born as a result of a poll I made in my blog, since I had concepts for fics similar to this one but starring different main characters, and Rainbow won it.
If there happens to be a sequel, most likely it will be in the form of another OC/one of Humane 7 romance story set in the same continuity as this one, and it will feature a cameo (or several) of Scroll, maybe something else.
Ahaha, no, it's M-rated, the story description (not the short one) even tells you why.
I'm not sure they will get together only at the end; I have some plans regarding that, but giving even the slightest hint might be spoiler-ish, I'm afraid.
Thanks a lot!
I hope it will remain that way.
7937861
I'm glad that you're happy about the update
7938408
7939495 it seems I had written always "write", if I wanted to say "right"
I'm glad that it looks like you understood me, even if I probably messed up that part of the comment.
Thank you, I just thought it should somehow have some consequences, even if her body should already be strong enough to play every sport after school, I don't think she would really manage it to play everthing after school or help every person that would need her help as a person and stuff like that.
While I don't remember what the cartoon did again, I think her body would cave in sometimes, just because she maybe would even go into that overtraining. I forgot what happened there exactly, but I learned a few weeks ago that you can train to much.
somehow that makes it even better, to know that they aren't even that close yet and just starting to be friends. I like it if it happens slower, but at the same time I always hope for a sequel, but I think I talked about that already.
Well if your are thinking that there most likey isn't going to be a sequel then I hope they start to fall in love with each other before the very end, I like to see them acting like a couple too. I'm always interessted in what happens after the(I love you) for some couples that I really enjoy. Maybe you just wait how the storie works out and continue later or something.
To be honest sometimes it just doesn't feels like a sequel if it continues with a different character, but it Scroll appears enough and sometimes the POV would change to him that would be nice too.
I most likely feel that way because how you write.
My favourite character or the one that got me to watch the show was Fluttershy.
If you can't decide on which to take maybe you make some sort of vote.
I like stories to in which Pinkie can act a bit different as soon as she notice she is in love, which doesn't means she is supposed to change her whole character, but I like it if she can has her serious or desperate moments if she is affraid to lose someone.
There are moments in which I think not evn Pinkie should act that hyper sometimes if you know what I mean, because I have a hard time to exlaint that.
Maybe I would even trust you with a Rarity romance, this time again not in the usually way. To often she has an easy time to seduce the main char to listen to everything he is saying, to make him embrassed and stuff like that. I think I would enjoy a story where the main char either doesn't understand her atempts to flirt with him or just isn't interessted at first.
Okay you can ignore the part after Fluttershy if you want, I just got a bit excited to talk about it, even if it is to soon right now, but I don't know anyone in real life who is watching that.
While love hasn't developed between them yet, it's good to see friendship develop between Rainbow and Scroll. Hopefully We'll see romance develop between the two later on.
7941753
It happens, I have seen this more than once. Usually I can discern what one meant, even if there was an error.
So am I
Personally, I thought there was a set timetable of when a certain team has training sessions that allows Rainbow to preserve some strength, otherwise she would just collapse. Enough to be strength-consuming, but not to the point she would damage herself.
Although, who knows. As far as I know, in real life one doesn't get to be a captain for every school sports team.
No spoilers... but what you say isn't impossible.
If that happens, some moments featuring him most likley will be there, although I don't think he would steal the whole show (I've done some thinking on this and this is the current conclusion).
I will think of it. There are two ways - I can either write the next story which will star Applejack (who had a second place in the vote) and a separate OC for her, or make a new vote since the last one did not include Fluttershy (I did not have the concept for her at that time). In any way, this story must be finished first and I must see the general reception, to conclude whether it is worth to try and continue writing stories similar to this one with other OC/one of Humane 7 shippings.
Sounds similar to how I envision romance with Pinkie. I don't enjoy it when people treat relationships carelessly, and I think that Pinkie would be less of a cloudcuckoolander in terms of romance.
Hmmm, yes, Rarity using good looks for seduction is something I want to avoid, and I hate it when a character is constantly embarrassed.
Not too sure about the character not understanding Rarity's flirting attempts, though (unless Rarity is very subtle with it). While "dense male" cliche is amusing at times, I hate it when it's overdosed. I think I should be able to find an example of what I consider an overdose of that trope. EDIT: Found it! Look at this video until 19;15, when the scene fades to black. The dialogue is between male protagonist and one of potential romantic interests. "Not being interested at first" is more like what I would do, although considering that Rarity most likely has a reputation of one of the (if not the) most gorgeous girls, it might not be fully realistic... anyway, still a little too soon to think of it.
7946522
Well, what's the "Romance" tag for?
Have patience and it will be rewarded!
7947461
Not sure if I understood the last part right even if it is not that difficult, but if you don't want to continue that one, then maybe with a background character?
Right now I have a few favourites it they are done right, I just mention some, only for you to think about it, not that I'm expecting anything. (Mrs. Harshwinney, Derpy? (So far I had only a story with the silent Derpy, one that didn't talked so much), Bon Bon X Human with a jealous Lyra which could be the problem of the story or one of them. I wanted to say Mayor Mare too, but to be honest I image that I only like her as the pony version.
Long story short, I would be also interessted in Equestria Girls story x OC with :
Mrs. Harshwinney
Derpy? (I'mm really not sure about this)
Bon Bon
.... Chrysalis? It would be interessting to see how you try to fit her into that world without making her a slut, letting her work in a similar job or making her destroy the world, but of course I expect her to have a certain mean or tricky personality.
Oh god yes, that happens far to often and it is like no other personaliy would exist where they don't blush all the time.
It seems like you understood my main problem with what I said about it.
Well I guess it depens on the OC if he thinks Rarity is the best looking one too, or if he starts to like her for something else. It could be that he thinks she is overdressed (that's the word right?) or something, like I sometimes think that lipstic on some cartoon characters doesn't look good.
I like to think that even if I understand your points, that Rarity doesn't has to be the most gorgous girl for everyone. However I believe that it is like with some models, that she still owns that titel and that the OC couldn't call her ugly, but would just prefer something different if it is mainly about the looks.
Like I said I believe you understood my main problem with it, that Rarity has and to easy time to make the character blush, embrassed, making them fall in love with her and all the stuff, like that would be even the only thing she is good for. Sometimes I hate it if the main char is treated a certain way from authors and characters.
Me thinks that's going to happen anyway
8615062
LOL, no promises
Me still waiting 2 years later.
Is this dead?