Apple Orchards

MyEvilPony

MyEvilPony #1 · Jul 21st, 2016 · 1 · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

Awesome as always, can't wait to read about your friends "ideas".

Ashura

Ashura #2 · Jul 21st, 2016 · · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

“N-No, princess! It isn’t like that! Ah’m very grateful! All Ah’m asking fer is a chance ta work of mah debt!”

Unless it's just part of how AJ speaks, shouldn't off be written with 2 'f's?

If it's just AJ's way of speaking (), please ignore this comment.

It is well paid, but it ist he only job that I have to offer.

Just a typo.

Ashura

Ashura #3 · Jul 21st, 2016 · · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

Getting breed like a w**** and impregnated so that she could give birth to strong guards.

Shouldn't it be "getting bred"?
I'm not pointing out the mistakes to be annoying.

hollowblade

hollowblade #4 · Jul 21st, 2016 · 3 · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

This made me want to see what Blueblood is up to with Fluttershy more than anything. Maybe find someone willing to write it as a one shot side story.

The Great Derpsby

The Great Derpsby #5 · Jul 21st, 2016 · 2 · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

7411368
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/6/3/643583__safe_fluttershy_shipping_straight_prince+blueblood_crack+shipping_artist-colon-pixel-dash-prism_twilight+sparkle%27s+secret+shipfic+folder_blueshy.png
"What a beautiful little slut your are. I may just have to keep you. Wouldn't you like that, my dear?"

TheBroJangles

TheBroJangles #6 · Jul 21st, 2016 · 1 · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

Marvelous.

PlieRow666

PlieRow666 #7 · Jul 21st, 2016 · 1 · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

Who the guy doing rainbow dash corruption?

Ugly-Duckling123

Ugly-Duckling123 #8 · Jul 21st, 2016 · · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

A bit too wordy in my opinion - it took too long to get there

But i liked the reference to Fluttershy's Stocks

UniqueSKD

UniqueSKD #9 · Jul 22nd, 2016 · 2 · 3 · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

“Good girl. But before you get to work, you need to prove yourself. So come here and suck my cock!”

And that is the part where I scroll over to the Back button and get the hell out of here.

TheOneWithoutAName

TheOneWithoutAName #10 · Jul 22nd, 2016 · 3 · · The Courtrooms Cockwarmer (Unedited) ·

Reply

7411290
7411352

I corrected it and thank you for pointing it out! I probably should have read over it a second time after finishing it. It is just that I am rather...impatient.

7412741

I can imagine it being too wordy, considering I'm currently trying to improve my writing at one-on-one scenes. I thank you for pointing that out to me. I will try to get the hang of it in the future chapters!

7412976

I admit the last sentence after 'prove yourself' is my least favorite in this entire chapter. I just seemed so...bad. Problem is I couldn't figure out some other way to formulate it. If you have an idea you are welcome to make a suggestion!

But you probably could have meant something over than the wording, now that I think about it! My bad! I would appreciate if you could give me some critique or pointers to help myself improve. I'm still relatively new to writing after all.

Ashura