A pretty good story. but really does it have to be M? Maybe a T

I...WHA...

This is...

Surprisingly enjoyable

I'm a little disappointed with Spike for that Caramel scene, but everything else was perfect. Gotta say - RD is pretty badass in this

778257 Yes... this is defiantly Mature content...

Dragons... don't... have penises...

i.backpackgnome.com/16042851984cb1353068c463.69558659.jpg

Of course they have! Still, a very good piece of literature. Although I think Rarity will sooner or later realize anatomy will stand in their way.

Dude this was not cool at all. This was just a terrible story. Spike having no penis? Not being able to please Rarity? No clop scene? What a complete waste of time.

778360 Are you implying The only way to get a good spike Story is for him to have a penis?

778366 I'm implying that it's just stupid that he has no dragonhood at all. I mean what the heck is that all about?

MegacommentreplytimeGO.

778257
As stands it's obviously 'M'. It could have been written lighter, the sex scenes were both brief and not strictly necessary, but it's frankly difficult to incorporate this premise without some explicit dialog. The original incarnation was going to be a proper clopfic, but I decided that I didn't want to be the kind of person who writes a real clopfic including the word "cloaca."

778293
But Spike just doesn't know any better, he's trying to figure this stuff out

778295
This comment matches your name to a tee. You're so adamant about reproductive biology

778360
Bahahah. So defensive . Still, I'm slightly disappointed that you obviously didn't actually read it, seeing as how the title is both the moral of the story and the answer to your second question.

778366
This comment. I will treasure this comment FOR-E-VER.

778378
What's that about? Biology. Not all animals are mammals, furhead.

778394 I did read it, but man I did not enjoy that story at all.

778360
...
He's not a mammal you know.
Dragons would be... different...
778394
You sir, are a good guy.
Nice story.

778444 I know he's not a mammal, but still though it's really a bad idea that Spike has no penis at all. I mean that's a huge blow to him.

778471
Well there is magic for that stuff as well as toys.
But now I wonder, what would female dragons have?

778479 Let's not think of that.

I will treasure the thanks at the bottom of this story forever.

778504
If everyone did that, we would never have anything.

778479
I'm not just inventing reproductive organs here, both male and female dragons, assuming they're similar to birds, dinosaurs or relevant reptiles, would have cloacas. Reproduction is accomplished by nothing more complicated than careful aim.

Knowledge is power!

In Cutie Mark Chronicles, after Spike hatches, he sucks on his tail. The sucking reflex of babies is found in mammals, so they can get milk. I conclude that Spike is a mammal. Or fictional cartoons set in an alternate universe may not have identical phylogeny to Earth, in which case having a mammalian dragon who also has a cloaca could make perfect sense.

I enjoyed this story. Spike not having a penis was a creative twist. Older Spike is better Spike. Shipping was rushed, but both justified and not the point of the story, so that's okay. This certainly isn't the best fanfic in this genre I've read, but I don't regret having read it. Thank you for writing.

nice use of platonic and i loved it but spike i am upset with you just a slight bit. look at you made rarity cry. actually no shes probbalby crying because it was a beautifully written story i congratulate the writer

778745
Hey hey, time to get some evolutionary biology in here!

(... please don't notice that my description of other reptilian reproduction had a few flaws for the sake of quick and easy reading...)

So, Spike sucked his tail, which is a pretty strong indicator of mammalian ancestry. However, as you indicated in the same sentence, he hatched. If he hatched, but we're insistent that he's a mammal, then that renders him a monotreme (e.g. a platypus or echidna), and hence, cloacal!

Evolution, baby!

... wait, Spike is a platypus? OK, I don't think I've made matters any less confusing here.

BRAIN BLEACH NOW! It was so good until the Caramel part. Seriously... you couldn't even give us Rarity and Spike going at it as a reward for... that!

I can respect you went for the opposite end of the field, where as I give him the hemi, and the writing was really good. Still I feel fucked over. You decribe (in minimal detail notably) the lesbian and gay intercourse but you totally skip the oral hetero... why? Explain it to me.

Also, it would of been nice to warn readers there was gay and lesbian sex in here in the summary.

778745 I want you to know that this is single the smartest comment I have heard in what feels like weeks. You used facts; you deserve a fucking cookie!

778973
My real, hidden goal is that you would read 5,000 words, suddenly realize that I've tricked you into the reading world's most peculiar gay erotica, and then sit for a moment, carefully considering whether your life is on the right track. Then again, does it even count as gay when I've jumped not just the species, not just the genus, not just the family, not just the order, but the class of animals, and even to physiologically distinct and patently incompatible sexual organs? I am a cruel and vicious human being with little remorse

I was actually somewhat disappointed that nobody complained about that, until your post! So thanks!

As per warning readers... can you honestly say that the fact that there's a M/M scene is weirder than the fact that I'm discussing the implications of sex between animals with unrelated sexual organs at all? I mean, with a description like "Rarity and Spike learn a valuable lesson in comparative sexual anatomy," you've got to know that you're in for something truly bizarre.

Per the final scene, I actually did consider throwing in the proper Rarispike scene, but:
1) This is not a clopfic, really. Hence the lack of detail. It's a mindfuck more than a ... er, well, fuck of the conventional variety.
2) I desperately wanted to end with the title, for pith sake.
3) Even if I didn't care about (2), I can't end on clop, so would have to figure out some scene after, which IMHO would make the story trail off in a rather anticlimactic way.

I honestly tried to make it work, but I couldn't, so sincere apologies for that one.

Thanks for reading!

779056 NO!

And yes it is weirder. And the title still implied any of a number of ways Spike could have pleasured Rarity toys, oral, fingering, his tail, and any number of other ways. And its not hard to end on a clop scene, "I love you," fade to black, or something to that detail. Oh and I read the comments I knew there was at least some gay material, I know where my sexuality lays so you failed in your goal didn't even stop to question it for a second. Could of done without it notably, but I worked through it cause it was relevant to the story and I refused to lose plot information, and then you just fuck me over. All for nothing!

779096
The point wasn't that you question your sexual orientation... good lord, if this scene made anyone question their sexual orientation, that's horrifying. You're just supposed to question the general track of your life ;)

779111 Then you still failed In fact shouldn't you be questioning the general track of you life since you wrote "5,000 words of the most peculiar gay erotica", hmm

779135
Believe me, I am

778394 Nah, I just picked the name cuz it's mah gamer name.

Also, I am not going to bash you for not giving Spike a dick, lol. That would just be ignorance! Each to his own, I say! It was a good read in the end, so why complain?

WHAT THE FUCK DRAGONS DONT HAVE A PENIS. BULLSHIT THEY HAVE TWO. THIS IS LAW SINCE LIKE D&D. THEIR IS EVEN STORYS OF DRAGONS BANGING HUMANS AND KIRINS DRAGON UNICORN HYBRIDS. I MEAN COME ON MAN YOU TOOK HIS MAN HOOD.

but enough of my little rant it was a good story i liked it. Wish you never took away his d**k but it was still good.

What the writier fails to say is the second time they do it his scales move and two pop out and then raritys like holy shit im f**ked and i like it.

779363
I mentioned reptiles with hemipenes, I just didn't happen to place dragons there :)

779402 you troll you.

778360 I know I found it hard to accept at first but as long as Spike is happy in the end I can be happy supportive.

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/190/171/al%20gore%20wtf%20am%20i%20reading.jpg

I don't know about others but I liked this if only because you explored a what if scenario with spike being a reptile without a penis and the problems that can pose. Well done.

779056 Finally, someone has SCIENCE. I applaud you, my good sir (or madam)

i got to the dragons don't have penis's part and was like

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I loved the story but thats atonamly incorrect being a reptile of species spike would have two manly parts not none. Spelled atonamly wrong my damn i phone keeps auto corecting it.

783798
My paragraph extracted from the imaginary book was not inaccurate in this regard. Not all reptiles have hemipenes, though most extant ones do. There's no clear taxonomy at which to place dragons (duh), but there is plenty of precedent for my interpretation.

783924 you have a point so i guess i can stop harassing you but dragons most relates species,is the snake in which the males have to heads bit don't get me wrong this story was fucking hilariious sorry about any slip ups in ths comment touch screens are a pain in the ass

“Rarity, dragons don't have penises.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
aaand spike is not amused

778444
The Penis is not actually exclusive to mammals. Other animals with them include crocodiles, sharks and ducks.

>You’re gonna be a lesbian today, Spike!
img190.imageshack.us/img190/1268/1257556512043.jpg

779056
By all that is, bless you.

I can't quite explain it but I found the CaraSpike scene somewhat arousing... I know what a cloaca is but I don't know what one looks like... I imagine it to be like a shallow vagina with just the scales (or feathers or only a single pair "lips") covering it and very few muscles around it and the testes(or equivalent organs) and attached gear sort of just sitting there wrapped arou-... Aaaand I'm going into the inner-workings of my mind, which I'm not meant to do for the sake of others.

Up until now the most exotic thing about Spike's draconic genatalia has been the idea that he has two dicks.
The Cloaca Dragon Genatils is now my head canon just 'cause you brought it forth so well.

This just made my night. I had been putting off reading the story for a while, and I am happy I did, the timing is almost perfect. Excellent command of the English language, by the way, really commendable. If the story didn't stop me to say "wow", your style did. Great job!

It was a great story all in all. I liked how all the sexual parts were not explicit, but very gently explained. The Caramel scene you could have removed, felt like it bit off a big chunk of the story.

Anyways, pretty much in my Top10 fimfics yet. Great ending!

:D
...

i love spike and rarity pairings. good job

778859
Well that was a lovely little story. A little swift, but not so much so that it felt incomplete; a rather unusual and inventive arrangement for the obstacle necessary to a good romance; and an interestingly quiet sort of drama, without characters exploding or flinging themselves off cliffs, just confused and unhappily thoughtful. The best joke, however, would have to be the uncomfortable leg-crossing and harrumphing in the comments.

Overall, I... wait a second...

*Tentatively puts a brown fedora on Spike's head*

NO! KEEP HIM AWAY FROM MY -INATOR!

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/dc/Perry_the_Platypus.png

2,000 views.

2,000 views.

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spikes....spikes,........NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most impressive. It's always interesting to read Sparity that actually acknowledges that the two are very, very different species... and yet still makes it work.

779056 I found the Caramel Scene Dreadful too, not because of it being MM but because of it being CHEATING. Spike fucks another guy and only THEN goes to break up with Rarity.