Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Rainbow Dash emerged from her deep, dreamless sleep and let out a great yawn before opening her eyes. For a brief moment, her mind was completely blank, filled with blissful nothingness after having just awoken. Then the memories of last night rushed in, and a huge smile stretched across her face. She still couldn’t believe it. Twilight wanted to go out with her! It all felt like a dream. It was almost too good to be true.
Dash’s excitement gave way to nervousness. She had no clue of what to do! She’d never been on a date before! Dash squeezed her eyes shut and turned over, trying to go back to sleep. But the anxiety was nagging at her, preventing her from slipping back into unconsciousness. She tossed and turned for a few more minutes before sighing and dragging herself to her hooves. Plodding sluggishly into her bathroom, she stepped inside the tub and gave her showercloud a swift kick. Hot water cascaded down Rainbow’s body and she exhaled in relaxation. It felt good to let some of her stress rinse down the drain.
While in the shower, a thought struck Rainbow. She should probably look nice for Twilight. Not that she didn’t already look awesome, but maybe a few touch-ups here and there? After all, there was no such thing as looking too awesome, right?
Grabbing the bottle of shampoo and a brush, she squeezed some of the bottle’s contents out onto her mane and tail and began to scrub vigorously with the brush. Rinsing the soap suds out of her hair, she grabbed a bottle of conditioner and lathered herself with that next. Her mane, coat, and tail were all given the cleansing treatment. Once done with the wash she simply stood underneath the cloud for a few more minutes, her eyes closed and a small smile on her face as she daydreamed of what she was going to do on her date with Twilight.
After kicking the cloud again to shut it off, Dash stepped out of the tub and wrapped her mane and tail in Wonderbolt emblazoned towels while using a third towel to dry off her coat. Tossing the towel onto a rack to dry, she unwrapped the other two towels and threw them onto the first towel. She looked around her counter for the hairbrush but couldn’t find it. She sighed. How could Rarity stand to do all this? All the accessories and routines and beautifying. In Dash’s professional opinion, it was excessive and completely pointless.
Opening the medicine cabinet, Dash found her hairbrush somehow wedged in between the shelves. Grabbing it between her hooves, she tugged at it. The hairbrush stubbornly refused to move.
Growling to herself, Dash flapped her wings and planted her hind legs against the cloud wall. Bracing herself, she heaved at the brush with all her might, until it finally broke loose, sending her flying into the opposite wall. She groaned but held up her prize with pride. Success!
Her elation died almost immediately once she realized that she put all her effort into freeing a stupid little hairbrush.
‘Might as well use it,’ Dash sighed to herself. She jerked the brush through her mane a few times, then settled into an easygoing rhythm. It... actually felt kind of nice once she got used to it. Maybe a little awkward holding it in her hooves, but still. ‘Maybe I could get Twilight to brush my hair sometime. Hmm... Not a bad idea. She’s more into that than I am anyway.’
Finished with brushing her hair and tail, Rainbow examined herself in the mirror. Her usual wild, flight-blown hair was flowing smoothly over her forehead and was swept to one side while covering a bit of her eyes. It looked a lot brighter and even felt a lot softer. Her cyan blue coat looked a bit brighter as well, free of all the sweat and grime and dirt that built up from flight routines, workouts, and sleep.
Idly running a hoof over her freshly washed and brushed mane, Dash floated into the kitchen. Opening her fridge, she was given yet another reminder of why she mostly ate out. She was too lazy to buy groceries, other than food for Tank, and even if she did expend the effort to stock up her pantry, she didn’t know how to cook other than simple sandwiches.
Grabbing the last apple in the fridge, Dash sat down at her table and began to brainstorm. What would Twilight like to do? Aside from the obvious, of course. She was from Canterlot, but didn’t really share the same high class tastes as the rich. And she liked to have fun despite her studious nature. Hay, Dash had even seen her cut loose at her birthday party when they held it at Canterlot.
Sighing, Dash threw her apple core into the trash and rested her head on the table. Dating was harder than she thought.
Getting up, Dash walked over to Tank’s enclosure: a good sized terrarium filled with dirt and water. There were patches of grass and even a tiny bush. The whole setup had been relatively cheap. The only thing Dash had to do was get Twilight to cast a permanent cloud-walking enchantment on it, which turned out to be a lot more complex and energy consuming than the temporary version of the spell.
Tank looked up at his owner and gave a slow smile. Dash smiled in return and greeted her pet. “Hey, Tank. Let me fill those up for ya.” Grabbing Tank’s food and water dishes, Dash flew back into the kitchen to refill the bowls. She quickly returned and carefully placed the water bowl down to avoid spilling it, then placed the bowl filled with various leafy greens next to it.
Settling down next to her pet, she watched him amble over to the dishes and begin eating. She sighed for the upteenth time that morning.
“Tank, I’m taking Twilight out on a date today. What do you think?”
The tortoise in question turned his head to smile and nod at Dash, letting her know that he approved.
Smiling, Dash said, “Yeah, she’s great.” Dash’s tail swished anxiously as her smile faded and was replaced by a slightly worried look. “But I’ve never gone out on a date before. What do you think I should do?”
Tank turned his head and indicated the tiny artificial lake in his enclosure.
Dash was confused for a second before it dawned on her. “You think I should take her to the lake?”
Tank slowly nodded.
Dash mulled it over. Yes, that sounded perfect. Nothing too fancy, and it was certainly a beautiful day. Plus, they would most likely have the lake to themselves. It was Friday, so most ponies would be at work. Twilight had the day off today, and Dash’s weather schedule didn’t call for her until the next morning.
“Yeah... A day at the lake... Maybe a picnic, too... Thanks, Tank. You’re a genius,” Dash beamed as she gave Tank a playful noogie. Tank slowly smiled and went back to eating.
“Okay, a picnic at the lake. Need a blanket. Gotta have lunch, too,” Dash said as she slung her saddlebags over her back and stuffed a folded blanket into one pouch. “Applejack oughta have something to eat. And we’ll have the whole day to ourselves,” Dash mused. She threw in a small pouch of bits as well. “Some dinner wouldn’t hurt.” She thought ahead, to fun at the lake to relaxed dinner conversations to romantic walks underneath Luna’s moon. Dash’s normal confidence returned. Oh yeah, she totally had this date in the bag.
Exiting her home, Dash set off for Sweet Apple Acres. She looked down as she flew over the orchards and saw Applejack diligently bucking the apple trees to harvest the crop. Reaching the house, Dash landed and trotted up to the porch. Next to the door was the matriarch of the Apple family, old Granny Smith, snoozing in her rocking chair. The door opened and Big Mac stepped out, presumably to help his sister with the harvest.
“Hey, Big Mac.”
Big Mac looked a little surprised to see Dash at the house, and at such an early hour too. For her, that is. He gave a polite nod to Dash. “Miss Dash. Need somethin’?”
“Do you have any lunch I can buy? I need enough for two.”
Big Mac nodded and waved his hoof to indicate that Dash should follow him inside. He led Dash into the kitchen, where he wrapped up a couple of apple fritters in wax paper before grabbing a freshly baked apple pie. He got a small towel and wrapped the pie in it to keep it warm. He placed a plastic knife and a couple of paper plates on top of the towel before passing it to Dash, who took it and placed it in one of her saddlebags.
“Thanks. So how much do I owe you?” asked Dash.
Big Mac shook his head. “No charge, Miss Dash.”
“Really? Thanks Big Mac. Tell everypony hi for me,” said Dash as she turned to leave.
Walking down the porch steps, Dash unfurled her wings and took off for Twilight’s library. Quickly reaching it, she carefully set down and nervously ran a hoof over her mane one last time.
‘Okay, Rainbow Dash. You can do this.’ Taking a deep breath, she raised a hoof and knocked twice on the door.
“Coming!”
The door opened, revealing a frazzled looking Twilight. A slight twitch in her left ear, wide eyes, stray hairs poking out from her mane. Dash took a step back from surprise. She hadn’t seen Twilight look that bad since the tardy incident.
“Uhh, you okay, Twi?” asked Dash in concern.
If Twilight heard the question, she didn’t answer it. “Rainbow?” Twilight asked in surprise as she glanced at her clock. “Aren’t you a little early?”
“Early? What do you mean early?”
“Well, since you asked me out last night, I figured I’d do some research in order to make a schedule for today.”
Dash facehoofed. She should have seen this coming last night, but her giddiness had completely driven out any notion of telling Twilight that she would take care of everything.
“Would you like to come in?” Twilight’s voice brought Dash back to reality.
“Yeah, sure.” Dash trotted through the door and was taken aback by what she saw. There were piles of books next to the desk and papers, along with more books, were scattered across the surface.
“Uh, Twi? What’s with all this? I thought you said you had the day off today,” Rainbow asked as she turned to Twilight.
“Well, yes, but like I said, I wanted to do some research so I could make a schedule for today,” Twilight said as she trotted past Rainbow and stood before her desk.
Dash rolled her eyes. She seemed to be doing that a lot around Twilight lately. “Ugh, I should have told you yesterday not to do anything. Look, Twi, I already have today all planned out so you didn’t need to waste your time studying.”
Twilight’s left eye twitched and a dangerous look covered her face. Waste her time studying? What was this madness the pegasus spoke of? Dash, for her part, gulped audibly and retreated a few steps. She swore she could see something burning in Twilight’s eyes.
“Uh, hehe... what I mean to say is... uh, that I just want you to relax and enjoy yourself,” Dash hastily explained to Twilight, her ears folded backwards and a placating grin on her muzzle.
Thankfully, the burning in Twilight’s eyes subsided, eliciting a sigh of relief from the chromatic pegasus. “Sorry Rainbow. I was just so nervous about this whole thing that I guess I went a bit overboard with studying and planning for it.”
Dash raised an eyebrow at Twilight and pointedly looked at the books piled around her.
“Okay, a lot overboard,” Twilight said sheepishly. “I’ll be right back. Just let me get ready.” Twilight trotted up the stairs and into her bathroom, leaving Dash alone with her thoughts.
Curious, she walked over to the desk to inspect just what Twilight was studying. Once again, she rolled her eyes. The so called ‘research materials’ were mostly sappy romance novels that had been hastily flipped through and tossed aside. The notes were no better. Hastily scribbled down were only a few bullet points of any marginal value, surrounded by Twilight thoughts regarding those same notes. Mostly complaints about how useless the books were and how they didn’t help her at all.
Dash chuckled and rolled her eyes again. She was about to blow Twilight’s misinformed conceptions about dating clean out of the water.
Speaking of clean...
Twilight descended the stairs, looking as though she just emerged from the shower, despite having only been gone for no more than five minutes. She still looked a bit nervous, but much better than she had just moments previously. To Dash, she looked like a million golden bits.
Dash smiled widely at Twilight. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah, I’m ready,” Twilight smiled back. Together they went out the door, Twilight closing it with her magic.
“Sooo, Rainbow... had a good sleep?” asked Twilight in an effort to start a conversation.
“Yup, sure did! One of the best nights of sleep I’ve had yet,” Dash said happily as they trotted towards the outskirts of the town.
“You know, I couldn’t help but notice you look different today,” Twilight remarked. “I can’t really place it, and I’ve never really been one to ogle other ponies, but you look... well... cute.”
Dash flushed at the compliment. Twilight had just called her cute! And not just as a friend complimenting her appearance! Had Dash’s self control been any less awesome, she probably would have squealed like a little filly.
Twilight started in surprise as she heard Dash squeal. Turning, she gazed at Dash with concern. It was Twilight’s turn to ask, “uhh, you okay there, Rainbow?”
Dash found herself hovering off the ground with her hooves at her mouth. Twilight was standing still and had stopped to stare at her. Dash realized what had just happened and felt her face start to burn. “Did I just...”
Twilight started giggling into her hoof, trying, and failing, to stifle her laughter. “Yeah.”
Dash cleared her throat and fell back to the ground, looking everywhere but Twilight, hoping the fire on her face would subside quickly. She gave a quick glance at Twilight once she felt her face cool down sufficiently.
“That never happened.”
“Awww, but you sounded so cute!” Twilight raised the pitch of her voice. “Just wike a wittle fiwwy.”
Dash glared at Twilight and flicked her tail irritably, her cheeks turning several shades darker. She never should have brushed her mane in the first place.
Twilight ignored her and cheerfully continued trotting forward. “So, what are we going to be doing today Rainbow?”
Rainbow quickly caught up to Twilight as her cheeks returned to their normal complexion, the conversation switching to a more comfortable topic. “We’re heading to the lake. Since today’s a weekday we’ll probably have the whole lake to ourselves. Aahhh, just think. Kids at school, adults at work. It’ll be just you, me... and nooopony else around to see or hear us.”
Twilight stopped and stared at Dash. “W- what?! Just what do you think we’re going to be doing today?!” she exclaimed at the pegasus.
Dash tilted her head at Twilight and gave her a wide eyed innocent look. “Whatcha talking about, Twi? All I’m saying is that we’ll be able to enjoy ourselves without having to worry about other ponies getting in the way.”
Twilight sputtered at Dash. For her part, Dash only laughed and continued trotting
towards her destination. “Oh, Twi. You’re too easy, you know that?”
Twilight’s face turned from her light lavender hue to a bright pink as she flushed in embarrassment. Muttering to herself, she caught up to Dash.
The rest of the trip was spent in silence as Dash led the way with a bright smile plastered onto her face. Twilight followed Dash as she contemplated how this date was going to go. Passing other ponies running errands, they soon exited the town and reached the lake’s shoreline. Dash stepped onto the sand and took in a deep breath.
She turned to beam at Twilight. “Well, we’re here!”
Twilight sighed as she took in the scenery. “This was a good idea Rainbow. It’s such a beautiful day too.”
Dash slid her saddlebags off and pulled out the blanket before spreading it on the beach. She set her bags on top of it and turned to Twilight. “Hey Twi, let’s go for a swim!”
Twilight smiled and gazed out over the lake. “Sure, the water does look inviting.”
Dash grinned and jumped up, grabbing Twilight between her forelegs. Twilight only had time to yelp before Dash flapped her wings, sending both of them over the lake. Twilight was going into full-on panic mode and she screamed at Dash.
“RAINBOW! What do you think you’re doing?! Put me down!”
Dash came to a hover and put on a devious grin. “Okay Twi. Whatever you say.”
Twilight’s eyes widened and she desperately tried to retract her mistake. “No! Wait, wait!” That was all she managed to get out before being dropped straight into the water, creating a large splash and sending ripples out over the water’s surface. She resurfaced, spitting water out of her mouth and glaring at the pegasus who dumped her into the water.
Dash was busy laughing, so she didn’t notice Twilight’s horn lighting up. She stopped laughing once she felt a force seize her and drag her into the lake. Once under, she felt the magical hold vanish, so she decided to take advantage of her situation and have a little fun. Squinting her eyes, she was able to make out a blurry form above her. She started to slowly float back to the surface and her prey.
Twilight was starting to get a little curious as to why Dash hadn’t resurfaced yet. It had only been a few seconds, so there was no way she drowned. But what if she was drowning? Or what if... wait, this was probably just some kind of prank she was pulling on her. Before Twilight could make up her mind, she felt something wrap itself around her midsection and forcefully start dragging her down. In a panic, she started flailing her legs in an effort to free herself. She felt one of her back hooves connect with something and felt the presence disengage itself from her body.
Soon after, Dash surfaced, grumbling and rubbing the back of her head. It seemed she also got hit on the head a lot more while she was around Twilight.
Twilight turned to face Dash incredulously. “Was that you?!”
“Yes! Who’d you think it was, a sea monster?” Dash snapped.
“First of all, there aren’t any sea monsters here. This is a freshwater lake. And secondly...” Twilight ears folded back and she grinned sheepishly at the glare she received from Dash. “Maybe?”
Dash had long since lost count of how many times she rolled her eyes at Twilight so far that day. Fortunately, she didn’t dwell on it long. Lifting her hooves out of the water, she brought them back down with an audible clap. Water rose and washed over Twilight’s head, making her sputter and flip her soaked mane out of her eyes.
“Splash fight!” Dash declared, before swiping the water to send another wave at the unicorn.
Twilight laughed and turned her head away from the offending water. She began slapping water towards Dash in retaliation. For a good while, the two sent waves back and forth at each other, laughing like foals and flipping their manes out of their faces whenever a splash successfully connected with its intended target.
Eventually, their water war came to an explosive conclusion once Commander Rainbow Dash and her superior aquatic forces obliterated what was left of General Twilight Sparkle’s meager forces. With overwhelming force as her doctrine, and unconditional surrender her terms, Commander Dash showed no mercy to her lavender opponent.
“Okay Dash, okay! You win!” cried Twilight as Dash kept pummeling her with wave after wave. Having wings was a huge advantage for Dash. The powerful flaps sent large waves at Twilight and the constant splashing also prevented Twilight from focusing enough to use her magic to her advantage. She kept stopping to spit out water or flip her bangs out of her eyes. Although, in all actuality, she was having too much fun to really focus all that much anyway.
Dash finally relented, reveling in her victory with a mighty battle cry and a hoof pump. “YES!” she cheered.
Twilight rolled her eyes, but had a smile on her face. The smile shook a little as she felt her stomach complain at her. “I hope you brought lunch Rainbow, cause I’m starving now.”
“Sure did! I told you I had everything planned out didn’t I?” Dash proclaimed with a cocky grin. “Race ya back to shore!” She quickly turned and shot off through the water.
“Hey! No fair!” laughed Twilight. She took off after Dash but had no hope of victory. It almost seemed like Dash was teasing her, pulling back far enough to make it seem like she could take the lead, before rushing back in front and making Twilight eat her... wake?
Dash clambered out of the water and flapped her wings to throw all the water off of them. Leaving the task of drying her coat to the sun, she turned to see Twilight slowly climbing out of water and walking towards her, her head hanging low. Dash was about to brag before she saw Twilight’s sides expanding and contracting rapidly. She got a little worried once she heard Twilight quietly breathing heavily. She trotted forward and nuzzled her head into Twilight’s neck.
“You okay, Twi?” her voice full of concern.
Twilight nodded and took in several gulps of air before giving an audible answer. “Yeah. Sorry, Rainbow. I’m just not as athletic as you.”
Dash shook her head. “Forget about it Twi. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself. I care about you, you know that?”
Twilight took a deep breath before exhaling. She smiled. “Yeah, I know Rainbow. Really, I’m fine. Now, about that lunch?”
“Ah, ah, ah. I won, so I get a prize first,” Rainbow declared, closing her eyes and placing a hoof on her puffed out chest before turning her muzzle upwards in a proud manner. Or arrogant manner.
‘Typical Rainbow,’ Twilight mentally sighed. “Okay, what’s your prize?”
Dash’s stomach growled angrily, quickly joined by Twilight’s. “Hehe, on second thought, I’ll collect later. For now, let’s eat.”
The pair sat down on the blanket and Dash pulled out the wrapped apple fritters and pie. She placed the plates down and put the apple fritters on top, then placed the apple pie and the knife between them.
Levitating her fritter to her mouth, Twilight began eating. Dash was much less elegant, picking up her fritter and tearing into it like a starved wolf. Swallowing it in three bites, she began carving out a slice of the pie. Placing the big slice on her plate, she began to snarf it down but stopped once she felt eyes on her, and looked up to see Twilight watching her with a small smile on her face.
“Mwuf?” asked Dash through a mouthful of pie. She swallowed the morsel. “What?”
Twilight rolled her eyes, but remained smiling. “Nothing. It’s just amusing to watch you act like a pig.”
“Okay then,” Dash shrugged. She went back to shoveling pie into her mouth like it was some kind of contest.
Finishing their lunch, Twilight and Dash lay on their backs side by side to look at the clouds. Dash wrapped her foreleg around Twilight’s shoulders and Twilight rested her head on Dash’s shoulders. Twilight let out a yawn and snuggled closer to Dash’s side. The splashing war and subsequent race through the lake had taken its toll on the bookish unicorn, and the full meal gave her a warm feeling of contentment.
Dash was feeling content as well. ‘So far, so good. Fun at the lake, check. Lunch, check.’ She chuckled to herself. Spending so much time around the unicorn, her eggheaded habits had started rubbing off on her. This was definitely shaping up to be a great day. She felt her own eyelids begin to droop along with Twilight’s, and she descended with her into dreamland.
Unbeknownst to either of the sleeping ponies, a pair of bright yellow eagle eyes glared at them from the cover of the clouds above. Patiently watching. Patiently waiting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Dash was the first to wake, a warm feeling wrapped around her midsection. Opening her eyes, she looked down to see Twilight with her muzzle buried in her chest and her forelegs wrapped around her like a teddy bear. Dash lay back and smiled peacefully. If there was a better place than her current location, she didn’t know where it was.
Examining the substantially darkened sky, she deduced that several hours had passed since they had fallen asleep in each other’s embrace. Tilting her head down, she gently nuzzled Twilight’s head.
“Hey Twi. Wake up.”
Twilight’s only response was a muffled grumble and a tightening of her hold on Dash.
Dash tried again, this time switching tactics. She placed the tip of her hooves on Twilight’s underside and ran them up and down. If Twilight hadn’t been awake earlier, she was now. She squealed and pushed herself away from Dash, rolling off the blanket and into the sand. She sat up and stared at Dash.
“What was that for?”
Dash sat up and grinned at Twilight. “Well, you weren’t waking up. What else was I supposed to do? You’re a deeper sleeper than me.”
Twilight just sighed and rubbed her eyes. Looking up, she saw that several hours had passed since they had eaten. Stretching, she turned her head to see Dash trying, and failing, to fold up the blanket neatly enough to fit it back in her saddlebags. Smiling, Twilight picked everything up with her magic and placed them into the saddlebags for her.
Strapping the saddlebags to her back, Dash smiled at Twilight in thanks. “Okay, let’s start heading back.” Walking with Twilight at her side, they moved back towards the small town.
“Pleasant dreams?”
“Hmm?” Dash turned to Twilight.
“I asked if you had pleasant dreams,” repeated Twilight.
“Well, I didn’t really dream. It was more like a really peaceful sleep, or a really happy sleep,” Dash said as they entered the town. “Did you?”
“It was kinda the same for me. But, I did have this premonition, though. A feeling, I mean.”
Dash raised an eyebrow at this. “Feeling of what?”
“Hmm, I guess a feeling of safety. That’s the closest word I can describe it with. Like a feeling of warmth and security.”
‘I’ll always keep you safe Twi,’ Dash smiled.
“What?”
Dash turned back to Twilight. “What what?”
“Why were you smiling just then?”
“Oh, just thinking.”
Twilight feigned astonishment. “Thinking? Who are you and what have you done with the real Rainbow Dash?”
Dash chuckled good naturedly at the ribbing. “Hey, I can be smart if I want.” Dash led the way towards the park in Ponyville. They trotted along the pathways for several minutes before Twilight broke the silence.
“What were you thinking about?” Twilight asked as they reached the crest of a hill.
Dash sat down and Twilight sat next to her. They looked out over the park, watching other ponies revel in their freedom after work or school. Dash remained silent but had a soft smile on her face.
“Well?”
Dash turned and gazed into Twilight’s eyes. Those beautiful, sparkling pools of lavender. “I was just thinking... You know that I care about you, and I mean as more than just a friend.”
Twilight nodded, her face graced with a small blush.
“Well, since you said that you felt safe when you were sleeping, I kinda... promised myself that I’d always keep you safe,” Dash said as her face warmed up and she looked at her shuffling hooves.
“Huh. I’ll admit, Rainbow, that wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. Care to make that promise to me as well?”
Dash looked up to see Twilight smiling warmly at her. She smiled back. “I promise to always keep you safe, Twi.”
Twilight leaned into Dash. “Thanks, Rainbow. A true Element of Loyalty if I ever saw one.”
Dash leaned into Twilight and hugged her with her wing. She felt something tug on her tail and she quickly looked back to see that Twilight had entwined their tails together. Turning her head back to rest it against Twilight’s, she gazed over the park and watched the sunset, the sky highlighted with shades of red, orange, and yellow all flawlessly seamed together. She had been wrong. There was a better place than the lake.
After a short amount of time spent watching the sunset, Dash stood up, retracting her wing and pulling her tail free. “Come on, the day’s not over yet.”
Twilight stood and followed as Dash led the way out of the park. “Where are we going now?”
“To that new diner that opened up recently near the town hall. I forget the name.”
“The Feeding Trough?”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
“Oh good. I’ve been meaning to try that place.”
“Look forward to it, Twi. Your meal is going to be twenty percent tastier just from being in my awesome presence,” Dash boasted as she bumped her flank against Twilight’s.
Twilight giggled and rolled her eyes exasperatedly. “Just lead the way Rainbow.”
Reaching the diner, they saw that the inside was filled with ponies. There were several tables outside, so they sat at an unoccupied table somewhere within the middle of the outdoor setup, Rainbow’s saddlebags dumped against a table leg. They spent about ten minutes in a comfortable silence, waiting for a waiter to approach their table.
They were approached by a pegasus stallion wearing a jacket and small apron to carry menus. His light blue coat had a slightly ruffled look from sweat and, behind his glasses, his darker blue eyes had a tired look. Dash had to stifle a giggle at the sight of his shiny, maneless head. Pulling out two menus and placing them on the table he pulled out a pad and pen before speaking.
“I apologize for the wait ladies. Would either of you like to start with something to drink?”
Twilight spoke first. “Can I just have some water please?”
“And I’ll have some grape juice,” added Dash.
“Water... and... grape... juice...” the stallion muttered around his pen, his neatly trimmed beard trembling as he manipulated the writing implement. He placed his pen and pad back in his apron and addressed the two ponies. “Alright, I’ll be right back with your drinks and to take your orders.” He quickly trotted back inside the diner, his light brown tail lightly swishing behind him.
Picking up their menus, Dash and Twilight perused the dining options. Glad the prices weren’t too expensive, Dash spoke up. “Feel free to order anything you want, Twi. I gotcha covered.”
“No, I can’t let you do that. I don’t want to be a bother.”
Deciding on the grilled potatoes and asparagus marinated with olive oil, Dash placed her menu next to her and looked across the table at Twilight. Or, more accurately, the top of her head that poked over the menu. “Seriously Twi, I got this. Don’t worry about it.”
With her decision in mind, Twilight placed down her menu and looked back at Dash. “Are you sure?”
Dash nodded and smiled. “Yes, I’m sure.”
The waiter returned bearing a tray on his back with two glasses. He gave the drinks to their respective owners and pulled out his pad and pen. “Do you know what you’ll be ordering tonight or do you need some more time?”
“We’re good. Can I have the grilled potatoes and asparagus?”
The stallion wrote the order. “Excellent choice, miss. And for the unicorn?”
“I’ll have your cucumber and tomato salad. And can it be with raspberry vinaigrette instead of ranch?”
“Of course, of course.” Putting away his pen and pad, he picked up the menus and placed them on his tray. “Anything else ladies?”
“Can I have a straw please?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Of course,” the waiter replied as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a wrapped straw. “Your orders will be out as soon as possible ladies.” The waiter turned and attended several other tables before returning to the diner to convey the new orders to the chef.
Tearing off the wrapper with her teeth, Dash stuck the straw in her glass and took a sip. It was sweet with a slightly sharp taste. “This is some good juice,” Dash said before taking another sip. “You want a taste?”
“No thanks Rainbow,” said Twilight before she took a sip from her levitating water.
They looked out at the still setting sun, watching as it finally slipped below the horizon, giving up the mantle of sky to the moon and stars.
“Thanks for taking me out Rainbow. Even if this doesn’t work out, I’m glad my first date was with you.”
Dash turned to face a smiling Twilight. “No problem Twi. Hey, if it’s not too much to ask, I’ve been wondering. How come you’ve never been on a date before? Weren’t any colts interested in you at all in Canterlot?”
Twilight gave a humorless chuckle. “Not really. I was Princess Celestia’s protege, her personal student. So, in foal language, I wasn’t just a teacher’s pet. I was the teacher’s pet.”
“That couldn’t have been fun. Other than my earliest years, I was always Rainbow Dash. Fastest flyer in Equestria. First and only to ever pull off a Sonic Rainboom.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean other than your earliest years?”
Dash’s wings rustled and her tail swished across the ground as she shoved the memories back down into their grave and reburied them. “If it’s all the same to you Twi, I’d rather not say right now. I want to enjoy the rest of my night with you. Maybe some other time.”
“Well... if you’re sure,” said Twilight hesitantly. “But just know that I’m here for you Rainbow. You can always tell me anything.”
“Yea. I know,” Dash said softly. She shook her head. “So anyways, is that why you never went on dates before?”
“Partly, yes. Another reason is just that I was completely socially ignorant. A few times I’ve had colts come up to me and offer to buy me ice cream or take a walk in the park, but I’d always say I had to study.” Twilight frowned. “Once I learned what they were trying to do, I felt terrible knowing that I had turned them all down so callously. Poor Dusk Shine. He tried so hard to get my attention, and he was a cute one too.” Twilight gave another humorless chuckle.
Dash laughed heartily at Twilight’s expense. “Wow, that’s messed up, Twi. A real heartbreaker aren’tcha?”
Twilight blushed, but she giggled as well. “It’s not my fault,” she defended. “They were just being too subtle.”
“Twi, if they were any less subtle, they would have just walked up and kissed you,” Dash shot back.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You mean like what you did last night?”
Rainbow blushed and chuckled weakly at her date. Fortunately, Twilight wasn’t upset at all by that recent event.
“Oh relax, Rainbow. I already told you it was okay, didn’t I? Although, you still owe me for that.”
“Pfft, what’s the worst you can do? Make me study?”
Twilight’s wolfish grin made Dash a little uneasy. “Hehe, you sure you want to be giving me ideas, Rainbow?”
Dash needed an escape from this less than favorable conversation. Fortunately for her, the waiter was finally returning to their table with a food laden tray balanced on his back.
“Oh good, food’s here. I am soooo hungry,” said a relieved Dash as she rubbed her hooves together.
“Here you are. Grilled potatoes and asparagus for the pegasus, and a cucumber and tomato salad with raspberry vinaigrette instead of ranch for the unicorn,” said the waiter as he placed the plates of food in front of their respective owners. “Enjoy your meal, and let me know if you need anything else.” With that, the waiter turned to head back inside the building, leaving Twilight and Rainbow to enjoy their dinner.
Balancing a piece of asparagus in her hoof, she tossed it back into her open maw. She slowly chewed and swallowed before voicing her opinion. “Hey, this is pretty darn good. I’ll have to come back here more often.” She lowered her head and took a bite out of the sizeable pile of chunked potatoes on her plate, chewing and nodding in approval.
Across from her, Twilight was spearing cucumber and tomato slices with her levitating fork, eating in a much more civilized manner than her pegasus companion. Although, in a society where most of the inhabitants ate with their mouths, nopony really cared all that much about table manners anyway. “Agreed. Tastes like they used fresh vegetables for these dishes, plus this vinaigrette tastes homemade as well.”
The pair of ponies continued eating in silence, pausing to take sips of their drinks. Something was bugging Rainbow Dash though. Ever since the lake, she couldn’t throw off this strange feeling. She glanced up from her meal to look at Twilight, but she was acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. The fur on the back of Dash’s neck stood on end and she quickly twisted around in her seat. Seeing nothing but ponies trotting along the quiet streets, she turned back to Twilight, who was frowning at her.
“Is something wrong, Rainbow?” asked Twilight, her brow furrowed.
“Yeah... no... I don’t know, maybe? I just have the strangest feeling that I’m being watched.” Dash looked back down at her plate and began eating again, slowly chewing her food, deep in thought.
“You sure you’re not just being paranoid?” asked Twilight nonchalantly, focusing back on the tomato levitating in front of her muzzle.
“I don’t know... maybe I am.” Dash shrugged. “Whatever, though. It’s no big deal.”
Was it really, though? Dash could have sworn there was something. Or maybe it was just her imagination. Plenty of ponies got paranoid sometimes for no reason. What difference did it make if one more pony jumped onto the bandwagon? Forcing her inexplicable paranoia from her mind, she focused on her food and the beautiful unicorn sitting on the other side of the table. The food was real. She was real. They were what really mattered.
Once finished with their food, they waited for the waiter to return to collect their empty plates. “Check please,” Dash asked the waiter upon arrival.
“In a moment, miss. I’ll get right back to you.” Heading into the kitchen, the waiter dropped off the dishes before returning to the two ponies, bearing a small black folder. After placing it on the table along with two complimentary peppermints, he asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you tonight, ladies?”
“No thank you sir,” smiled Twilight.
“Alright then. We hope you enjoyed dining here and look forward to seeing you both again. Have a pleasant evening.” The waiter nodded and smiled back before turning towards other tables to attend to the other diners.
Dash popped the peppermint into her mouth before opening the folder and glancing at the price. Nothing too hefty. Paying for it wouldn’t be a problem. After rooting around in her saddlebags, she pulled out her sack of bits and counted out enough of the golden coins to cover the bill. Since she was in such a good mood, she also left a generous tip for the waiter. Placing the sack back inside, she put on her saddlebags and stood up before walking out onto the street, followed by Twilight.
The two ponies walked back towards Twilight’s library home, the light from Luna’s moon beaming down upon them. Since Ponyville was just a small country town with very little light pollution, a blanket of stars was shimmering against the dark backdrop of the night sky.
‘Fun at the lake? Check. Lunch? Check. A walk in the park? Check. Dinner? Check. A goodnight kiss? Ehh... yeah... let’s not get too ahead of ourselves shall we?’ Dash looked up to admire the night sky. A flash of inspiration hit her. She knew what to do on their next date. That is, if they have a next date. But why shouldn’t they? Why wouldn’t they?
Reaching the front door of Twilight’s treehouse, Twilight turned to smile at Dash. “Thanks for taking me out, Rainbow. That was the most fun I’ve had in days, maybe even weeks.”
Dash smiled back at her date. “You’re welcome, Twi. I had a lot of fun too. We should do this again sometime.”
“Yes. Definitely.” Twilight was about to turn towards her door but paused. “Oh, and before I forget...” She turned back to Dash and closed her eyes before gently pressing her lips against Rainbow’s.
Dash’s eyes widened in surprise for a brief moment before fluttering shut. Her senses were working on overdrive, scrambling to absorb all the information they could detect. The pronounced taste of peppermint on Twilight’s breath. The velvety softness of Twilight’s lips gently massaging at her own. Twilight's calm, steady breathing. Her own racing heart pounding against her ribs.
In too short a time span, Twilight broke the kiss. She opened her eyes and giggled at Rainbow’s dumbfounded expression. “So how was that for a prize?”
Rainbow just nodded dumbly and made a strange squeaking noise, making Twilight giggle again.
“Goodnight, Rainbow. I’ll see you later,” Twilight said with a small, bashful smile.
“Yeah. Goodnight.” Dash’s voice cracked as she finally got her throat to unclench, making Twilight give one last adorkable giggle. Turning around, she opened her door and walked inside her home, gently closing the door behind herself.
Rainbow Dash turned and took a few steps away from the library. Taking a deep breath then letting it out in a satisfied sigh, she unfolded her wings then flew up into the night sky. Taking an easy pace, she flew towards her cloud home. Outside, she was a rare model of calm and grace. But inside, she was screaming for joy, her inner self leaping around like Pinkie Pie high on a caffeine and sugar mix. She couldn’t have asked for a better date with a better pony.
Except...
There was that feeling again. What was it?
Stopping to hover, Dash turned her body around, looking in every direction. There was that inexplicable feeling again. She couldn’t explain it. Was it just paranoia? She called out, “Hello? Is somepony out flying?” Not hearing a response, or any other sound besides her wing beats, she frowned and turned to fly the rest of the way home.
Lighting upon her porch, she reached out to open her door but froze when she heard an eerily familiar raspy voice.
“Sup, Dash. Long time no see, eh?”
Turning around, Dash laid eyes upon her former best friend. “Gilda,” she growled. “I thought you went back to the Griffon Kingdom.”
“Nah. I hit up Cloudsdale for a while before I decided to come back and check on ya.” Gilda polished her talons on her feathers then examined them cooly. They glinted wickedly in the moonlight. “You fell a long way, Dash. First you ditch me for those dweebs, and now you’re dating that stupid little nerd?” Gilda put down her talon and laughed. “But what can you expect from a flip-flop?”
Dash’s wings flared up aggressively and she took a combative stance. “Twilight’s not a stupid little nerd,” Dash snarled. “And furthermore-”
Dash cut herself off. That feeling she had throughout the day, ever since the lake. Gilda knowing that she was dating Twilight. “You were watching me the whole day, weren’t you?”
Gilda laughed again. “Well, the dullest tool in the shed finally figured something out. And all on her own, too!”
Dash growled again. “What do you want, Gilda?” she spat.
“What? Equestria’s self proclaimed fastest flyer is still the slowest brain?” Gilda taunted. “I guess all you’re really good for are lame little party pranks.”
Dash bit back a retort. She didn’t need this. “Whatever. I don’t need this, and you’re not worth me wasting my time. Get out of here, Gilda.” She turned away to enter her home, but froze at Gilda’s next statement.
“You know, wouldn’t it suck to find out that that pretty little nerd got hurt? But accidents happen. Even in libraries. Falling books and shelves, you know?”
Dash whipped around at this. “What was that?!” she shouted incredulously, but Gilda was already flying away into the night.
Dash stared at the fading speck that was Gilda. She began pacing back and forth in an anxious fury. Gilda’s words kept repeating themselves in Dash’s mind, replaying over and over again, eating away at her. Coming to a decision, she threw her saddlebags through her door then snapped it shut. Leaping off the clouds, Dash shot off towards the library.
Upon reaching the library, Dash saw all the lights were off and the windows were closed... wait, Twilight’s bedroom window was open! Gilda could’ve used it to flee!
Folding her wings, she shot through the window and flared them again, stopping just shy of colliding with the bottom floor of Twilight’s bedroom loft. Flying back up, she saw that the bed was occupied by a peacefully sleeping Twilight. The sight did wonders for calming her racing heart. Sighing with relief, she landed quietly and stepped closer to the lavender unicorn and smiled at the spectacle.
Twilight’s mouth was slightly open and a small line of drool was sliding down her cheek. The blankets rose and fell with each one of Twilight’s breaths. On her bedside table rested a familiar hardcover book. Dash quietly walked around the bed to reach it and, after taking a glance at Twilight, flipped it open to the most recent entry. She felt a little guilty, but what harm could come from it? It wasn’t like she was going to read the entire passage. Besides, she spent the whole day with Twilight. What else would Twilight write about other than their date?
She quickly ran her eyes over several lines before smiling wider and closing the diary. Looking back at Twilight, she gave her a small kiss on the forehead, making her smile and snuggle deeper into her blankets. Dash then walked over to the window and flew out of Twilight’s bedroom, back out into the starry night.
Flying back to her home, Twilight’s words were at the forefront of Dash’s mind.
I had my first ever date today. And it was with Rainbow Dash. I’d say it was the best date of my life, but would that really count, seeing as how I’ve never been on a date before?
I saw a side of Rainbow I’ve never really seen before while we sat on the hill. Even after having known her for this long, I’m still learning more about her. The reading also helped, I’d like to add. Her vocabulary has expanded exponentially since she started.
That kiss with Rainbow was something else. Again, I’d say it was the best kiss of my life, but with no other real kiss to compare it to, what would I know?
But the most prominent line:
I can’t wait to go on another date with her.
Dash smiled against the wind. “Me neither.”
Reaching her home and finally entering it, she checked up on Tank and refilled his water dish before floating up to her bedroom. Despite her happiness, her less than pleasant run in with Gilda left her a bit anxious. ‘Gilda wouldn’t really hurt anypony. Yeah, she’s a bully, but she knows where not to cross the line.’
Dash reached her bed and climbed in, curling up beneath the covers. Before falling asleep, one last doubt made itself heard in her mind.
‘... doesn’t she?’
A/N: Sorry this took forever. I've really got no excuse. I'm just a lazy bastard and I'm on summer vacation, which isn't helping my motivation for writing. This chapter was edited by MajorWheat and Hellpony. Following chapters will most likely be edited by them as well. Go show them some love.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- CaffeinatedKit · 11k words · 75 3 · 2.4k views
- Prof Yana · 18k words · 179 12 · 2.8k views
- Cirrus Sky · 15k words · 163 4 · 4.3k views
- Goatmeal · 5.4k words · 194 8 · 5.1k views
- John H · 13k words · 365 15 · 6.7k views
- Kirara5 · 2.7k words · 56 6 · 2.9k views
- Liechtenstein · 23k words · 154 10 · 4.5k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.32 seconds
Total duration
912 users online
544,712 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
1105875 If you find anything wrong please feel free to yell at me about it.
It's no story without a true plot line. I hate Guilda, but she makes a great enemy.
Don't worry about how long it takes you. These people here? They can wait.
gilda if you touch twilight
generatememes.com/media/created/mc75ph.jpg
Gilda could just be saying empty words to get Dash to stress herself out, or she could be dangerous later on. Either way I think Dash and Twi can handle her.
1106290 Agreed! I'll bring our transport.
encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTTqVVNcTVYB8T6gijMyF9hmEvqQkf4StpxVjGGZDx15QHs-orv-Q
When you said yellow eyes were watching them, for a second I thought to my self "why is Derpy spying on them?"
Im such an idiot! 
ts2.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4683327508972153&id=c35049f22eaced149c987226461dc26d 1107056>>1107056 I got air support.
1107424
encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQirrqBQqPdXpFxhDK28vvIy-SXh0wz2kAVmqg7zB5DsaENLdoMldd1E2Ug
CALCULATING PROBABILITY OF MISSION SUCCESS! ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!
deviantart.com/download/206540552/liberty_prime_by_orga1001-d3eyvpk.jpg
1107660 Sorry bro. Good news is (for you at least): school starts in like two days for me, so I'll be getting back into the work and schedule mentality. Which means more frequent updates for you.
Although, I still hate having to go to school...
I gotta say, I don't remember favoriting this, but I'm glad I did. This whole date sequence was really good. Things felt like a natural progression and it was heartwarming. Only thing is this, maybe it's just me but when someone I know is being quirky in the way that I love I don't usually roll my eyes. Rolling your eyes always seemed to be an annoyed body language thing to me so for it to be a sort of "Oh you" gesture confuses me, but again maybe that's just me. I look forward to reading more of this in the future.
1106290>>1107056>>1107424>>1107473 I have orbital surport blogs.agu.org/martianchronicles/files/2009/03/battlestar-glactica1.jpg
Heavy Armour ready for action army-technology.com/projects/challenger2/images/chal16.jpg
The Battle Brothers are assembled media.photobucket.com/image/space%20marine/dariusZero/avatarji/SpaceMarine-obrezaninzananet.jpg
And I'm bringing these guys just in case
images.wikia.com/tremors/images/8/83/Burtgummer2.jpg patrickseaman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/tr-space-marine.png sharetv.org/images/babylon_5/cast/large/capt_john_sheridan.jpg static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2009/1/27/1233083815413/Commander-William-Adama-001.jpg
1111241 Okay we got air, ground, and space covered. We got Ultramarine Reinforcements and even Liberty Prime. Lets not take any chances and bring these.
pcmedia.ign.com/pc/image/article/768/768767/supreme-commanders-uef-units-part-3-large-units-20070227060132216-000.jpg
pcmedia.ign.com/pc/image/article/768/768767/supreme-commander-20070228034056325.jpg
static.wix.com/media/ee1c87768487f9ffb078981210ead71d.wix_mp
strategywars.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/supreme-commander-gold-game-300x225.jpg
images.wikia.com/supcom/images/7/79/CybranT3Carrier.jpg
1111295 Plus Burt Gummer, Teddy Rooservelt, John Sherdian and William Adama (I'll try and get Creed so we can infiltrate LP behind Gilda)
By the by what game is that
1112319 Join the club and bring firepower
1114181 I think that's Supreme Commander.
1114181>>1114197 Yes that is most assuredly Supreme Commander. Very good game, little lacking on story but still a good game. Haven't played the second but the first is awesome. Especially when you get experimental units fighting. I mean one faction has a submersible aircraft carrier code named Atlantis. How do you fight a attack by 150 aircraft with simultaneous attacks by land and artillery and nukes on top of that?
pcmedia.gamespy.com/pc/image/article/632/632026/supreme-commander-20050707115348346.jpg
1114181 The answer? A return show of power with equal or greater strength that is even better organized.
videogamesblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/supreme-commander-forged-alliance-screenshot-big.jpg
Now I'll just stop talking because this is off topic.
1114416>>1114510 or complete orbital surpremcy or a strone burner
1114559 The Supreme Commander universe isn't really interested in space combat. With access to Quantum gate technology and the Ability to turn energy into mass and convert mass of any material to another kind it just doesn't mean much any more. I mean sure you could use orbital bombardment, but pretty quickly it just ends up being another front that doesn't really give you any extra resources or territory, and is hard to recover lost resources from.
okay i think if Gilda messes with Twilight, it is Gilda who will get hurt.
I mean we are talking about Twilight Sparkle here, not only is she the strongest unicorn in Equestria, but she has 4 friends, 1 marefriend, 2 brothers and a few Alicorn-Princesses which will get very very angry if anything happens to her.
I hope RD is at last smart enough to warn Twilight.
1117401 And don't forget a legion of fans that would cross the Multiverse to protect her.
So, Twilight rejected...herself?
katymunger.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/twilight-zone.jpg
(No pun intended.)
1117764
they couldn't help Fluttershy against Gilda(can you believe they got lost? seriously amateurs), so why would they be any help to Twilight?
Heck these idiots probably would only be in the way and then need to be rescued by Twilight, or get lost (again).
1120725 I think they were just badly organized. But I know I wouldn't let myself get lost in the Multiverse. You see, you have to be methodical about it. I would send out small recon teams to identify the right dimensions for where we're heading, and at the same time gather resources from other dimensions for use by us. Once everything is gathered, we then go to then identify the right moment in the time line to enter and protect Twilight. See? Its easy with proper planning, leadership, and the right amount of methodicalness.
1124523 The heck is the "Multiverse?"
1126828 The Multiverse is the basically the theory that all possible realities exist and are happening. This probably explains it a bit better and more detailed.
1126828
The short version is "Anything anyone can or can't imagine happening is happening somewhere"
1126880
)
dude they where organized, they still ended up in a Universe where Fluttershy and Gilda are lovers and, after beating up Gilda, the strike team got the heaviest Stare ever (they lost good men that day
They whine that the Multiverse doesn't want them to help and does everything to make them look bad, but seriously? That's the worst excuse i ever heard. This part of the Multiverse isn't even alive.
1127354 See? While they may have been organized, they weren't careful or methodical with there actions. They didn't take time to make sure that they were in the right universe, or gather resources to help make sure nothing went wrong. Any proper leader would have made sure that they were in the right universe, before simply charging in. Multiverse doesn't want them to help? Yes, definitely the worse excuse that could I've ever heard.
I'm reading through the fourth chapter.
Showercloud? I love it. What an awesome idea!
Why does Rainbow have an apple in the fridge, of all places??
Stryker, do you edit your writing much? I feel like this story could do with a bit more polish. The fourth chapter is markedly better, which is a great sign.
What I'm saying is that the flow feels a little wonky in some places. It feels as though there's a sentence missing, and it leaves a noticeable gap.
It's all minor stuff though. I'm enjoying this so far, can't wait to stop typing this discombobulated little message and read the rest!
I have a complaint.
Why the hay is Gilda here? Because the story needs conflict? It depends on how you take this, but throwing Gilda in just feels cheap. She literally appeared out of nowhere. If there's going to be a conflict that strengthens the bond between Rainbow and Twilight, I'd prefer something other than Gilda hurting one of them.
For example, maybe one of them got a minor case of food poisoning because the new restaurant is cheap? Maybe you could bring back that book underneath Twilight's bed? Or was it her diary? I forget.
Right now, the story feels a little soured. I really enjoyed it, but Gilda left a bad taste in my mouth. Rather than just reading the story and having some kind of disaster of conflict happen naturally, I'll be expecting something to happen. This reduces my enjoyment of the story, because the effectiveness of conflicts lies in their suddenness. An intimate scene might be going really well, be really immersing to read, but them BAM! something happens.
I'm really tired. I'm trying to be constructive, so I apologize if I sound negative. Do something interesting with Gilda, and you'll be fine.
1249164 Thanks for the feedback.
I might do a rewrite sometime. Or most likely. I feel my story could be better as well. This pile of literary fecal matter was spawned without the help of any kind of detailed outline before I started typing. Unfortunately, I just can't find the time to do anything with it right now. SAT tutoring, college apps, homework, marching band, and music lessons/practice are really just draining me. And that's just the stuff I have to do. I have other things I do for enjoyment, which takes up more time.
On an unrelated note, would you be interested in editing for my story? It'd be nice to have an experienced editor to help me out.
1250072
I'm not an experienced editor (or an editor at all, actually.), but sure, I'll have a go at helping you. Bring able to write a story like this on top of study and stuff is pretty impressive IMO. Don't be so hard on yourself either, this story has way more upvotes and comments than all of my stories combined.
static.fjcdn.com/large/pictures/69/34/693496_2781430.jpg
After reading through the comments, I won't be a dick saying "come on, update NAOW". That would be mean. Take all the time you need.
Also, woo conflict! I like.
Suddenly, Gilda
Now I will espect something to happen..
Nothing to worry about though, I'm sure the awesome writer you are will keep this story epic, annnnnd......
I want moar! I NEED moar!
1111241
media.fakeposters.com/results/2012/03/09/d5a4sweaev.jpg
I got cuteness support!
Well written, thanks for the read. I eagerly await the next update. I'm curious to see how you will use Gilda to further the story. I have to admit, I really hope that you don't throw her in there as some sort of "former lover" or some nonsense.
Nonetheless, keep writing, you work well with words!
9/10
1979462 Gosh, I hate to disappoint, but I'm going to be rewriting the story (at some point or another) and taking Gilda out of it. Throwing her in there like that just for the sake of conflict was a stupid, amateurish mistake. One that I will rectify if I ever get around to it.
1982902 Honestly, I'm glad that you're doing that. I didn't like her being in there, I didn't know how you were going to make that work, but I trusted that you had a plan. If you realized that you made a mistake and are going to rectify that, that's a good plan if I ever heard one! Thanks!
Well I hope you get back to this one soon, mate. If nothing else I'm enjoying the interactions in play here. Don't abandon it, now.
2152638 Don't worry. I'm actually working on a timeline for chapters and events right now so I can plan ahead for this story, instead of just diving in like an idiot. Eventually, I'll be taking down these chapters and putting up new ones for my rewrite.
This story is awesome, it's too bad it hasn't updated in months, I hope you get back to this at some point, I'll be keeping an eye out for it.
More???
2154180 hey, is this ever going to be continued?
well .. you will continue this story?
Had Dash’s self control been any less awesome, she probably would have squealed like a little filly.
Twilight started in surprise as she heard Dash squeal.
Welp, guess Dash has NO self-control...
Dun dun DUNNNN!