Lady Lindyne
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Lady Lindyne · 59k words · 77 9 · 2.4k views
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Mind a suggestion? The way both Fluttershy and Rarity lubricate so quickly seems rather unbelievable. This could be solved by a couple lines, here or there, of Rarity doing *something* to get her engine turning over, more than just the thought of taking a foreign cock from her female best friend without so much as a 'do you mind, darling? Thank you'. Something like her tracing her own breast, giving Sunset a look as she strokes fingers through her groin, etc.
Small addition, but it'd help the suspension of disbelief for your readers (Sure. We've already got magical futa pony cocks on a unicorn-turned-human who's the same colour as a bad spray-tan in California. What's not to disbelieve?). Same with the knowledge that they're doing this in rather public places and have to be aware of interruptions at any given moment.
Oop, your strikethrough text in Apple Bloom's letter came out as underscores.
Sunset.exe has encountered a problem...
Good to see that Twilight is the Princess of Friendship with Benefits across two realities, now.
Poor Fluttershy couldn't be with her animal friends the way she wanted to, because she's stuck in a world without magic and thus can't politely ask them to mount her and rut her silly. Good thing Sunset was able to help her out, or someday soon she'd have exploded from the sheer pressure of frustrated teenage hormones, and "
You're going to love me!" would have taken a whole new meaning. 
7102580 It's certainly fair, though as you say these kinds of things aren't maximally about realism. But there might be reasonable ways to do it without breaking up the pacing I want, which is supposed to feel less deliberate than Second Floor Club at least in these chapters. I'll think it over and see what I can do next time I have time to write.
7103000 Dunno how that happened, but fixed, thanks.
Wow, Shy was a bit quicker than her counterpart to get herself something.
Then again, it's probably easier to feel comfortable with sex when what you want is attached to someone who trust and are comfortable with.
Ponyshy hasn't seen one of her best friends with a literal fantasy attached to them yet.
Now Apple Bloom's gotta put a new warning on the bottles.
Hrmm... Damn that was nice! Good visuals!....
7102580 I made some changes to the chapters based on this. Nothing major but I think it both addressed the point and made the pacing better. Hope you agree.
Dang, that's some good sciencing, right there. Sci-Twi really scienced the be-jizz-us out of Sunset.Â
7119083 That pun.
For shame.
Jk that was hillarious.
Bets on who took it? I think it was Pinkie, she was way too happy.
But how about Rainbow or silent Applejack? 
It's good to see that Equestrian magic has its own sense of humour...
7119719
My money is on one of the Dazzlings. Particularly Adagio.
I wonder if the Shadowbolts might get involved at some point?
7104976
Plus my wives, The Dazzlings!
I changed my mind on the water bottle, obviously, contrary to an earlier note that suggested it'd be a side story. I think this was a worthwhile change.
Welp, guess we're going to find out if Sunny is fertile with the spontaneous dick or not.
I feel kinda bad for the school janitor.
7214169 After cleaning up after Sunset's demonic rampage, they're just happy this stuff responds so well to a mop.
7213052
for the change of heart!
7214029 Well if she is, that brings a whole new way of looking at Dinky!
I love to see Derpy give birth to Dinky later on. When things are proper time. Sunset be shedding tears seeing the baby wave her little hands at her father/mother figure.
So... Thanks to Trixie, Sunset got herself a half-siren baby!
Trixie did something "good" for once!
Why do I think Dagi and Aria will try to seduce our favorite bacon haired futanari?
Whelp, there goes the neighborhood. Hope Sunny is ready for dirty diapers and sleepless nights.
So, Sonata and Sunset baby. It will equally be beautiful as it is terrifying.
Still Trixie royally screwed up this chapter. I know this is more of a clopfic than anything else and isn't too concerned with "realism" or more serious tones, but she needs to be bitch slapped for causing an unintended pregnancy because she was petty and horny.
Trixie... There's a reason you don't mess with stuff you can't read.
Also, that begs a question why did Bloom make fertile potions to send over. I'm sure Sunset will be really happy when she finds out about what happened
7221529 Sunset wondered that very thing in the first chapter. The perils of completionism. And/or living in a clop fic with impregnation themes
awwww
7221597 No complains from me though
O h d e a r m e
So now AJ is preggers with RD's kid. Can't wait to see the results of this whole baby making fiesta.
If anybody ever figures out what Trixie did, nobody will ever find her body.
This is the bestestes.
7248756
Bit and pieces but no body.
I can see Cloudchaser sneaking a bottle for fun times with Flitter.
Damn. Just...damn.
Is Sunset forming her own herd? Will Derpy be next to join up then?
Woo teen pregnancy i guess
7303976 Sonata's like a thousand years old.
7304374 yea with the mentality and responsibilities of a teenager
Damd l'm 10,001 I have to look at Ultra porn.
7329873 I somehow noticed that change
Obviously, Celestia and Luna got a few doses from someone and wanted to try it out
This was a great fic. I loved it, and I eagerly await the epilogues.
When I saw the chapter updated:
When I saw story complete:
Does that mean you'll start to work on the original?
Don't forget we need to know how earths first seapony colony is coming along - do Sonatas kids get along with Arias and Adagios? Or will Earths newest race be rendered extinct from civil war?
I personally wouldn't mind a chapter exploring the centaur option.
7602057 That is next on the docket, but I planned it out less extensively which means I have to find more time for it - I have to figure out what to write, not just write what I broadly know I want to.
7602189
exactly, please make a siren life documentary!
that... was a very abrupt and rather confusing ending, if i'll be perfectly honest with you. It felt like things were going one way... then sidelined by this chapter for the most part.
it's still a good story... but i just felt this last chapter didn't quite hold up to the rest of the fic
7640729 Sorry to hear it didn't work for you. It's interesting because it was always supposed to be about this length and wrap up in a kind of unrealistically clean way - basically like a teen sex comedy usually does, but with more actual clop. But I can see how that wasn't clear from the tags/description/title, a set of things I feel like I've struggled with in my stories thus far.