Dear Discord
The letter didn't arrive through mail — it came hidden in a scroll, sent via dragon breath. When it appeared, Discord had just been about to enjoy a nice, long nap after a productive day of chaos. The scroll ruined all that, popping out of thin air, and falling on the pillow before the draconequus' head could.
"Now this is plain rude!" The God of Chaos grumbled, then, after a minute of ignoring the message, grabbed and unrolled it. A single white envelope was inside, addressed, as one might imagine, to him. As for the scroll itself — it was completely blank... with the exception of a Don't ask *frownyface* hastily written on one end.
"What idiot spells out 'frownyface'," Discord arched a brow, as he tore up the envelope and started to read.
Dear Discord,
I hate you so much!!!
For a creature claiming to be millennia old, you really are dense! Seriously, how much more obvious must I get? It's not like I haven't been giving you hints every time you were nearby! You really really really annoy me! Actually, you annoy me so much that I've torn up this letter three times already! Really, drake, what's wrong with you?! I would understand if you were blind, but you aren't! When it comes to causing chaos, you can spot a butterfly thousands of miles away, give it giant iron wings and send it off through a cornfield! When it comes to me, however, you are blind as a bat. At most you honour me with an 'oh'. And, yes, I admit that at first I would rush home and secretly blush each time you did, but it's been over six months now and 'oh's and 'ah's don't cut it!
And don't get me started about your old flame! I get she is a Sun Princess and all, but she imprisoned you in stone for over a thousand years! Take a hint — whatever you two had going has long been over, and no amount of groveling will change that. And don't think I haven't noticed all the hidden winks and flowers you've been sending her way 'to celebrate important occasions'. If she wanted to have anything to do with you, she would have said so. Also, that time she laughed during your stupid joke routine at the Gala — that was a pity laugh!
Alright... maybe I got carried away a bit. Sorry. It can really be infuriating sometimes. The reason I am actually writing to you is to remind you that even in this day and age it is customary for the older being to take the first step. That, and I also still get a little shy around you.
Speaking of shy, give Fluttershy a break! Sheesh! You are, like, a thousand times her age! Not that I mind the age difference, but you are making her feel uncomfortable! You have no idea how many times she's come to cry on my shoulder, not knowing what to do. You've been friendzoned, clear and simple, so stop trying to make this into something it isn't! And don't you think I don't know about all the advances you've been making during your weekly 'tea parties'! Just stop, ok? Neither Flutters, nor I appreciate them one bit!
Look, you probably are a smooth guy and all. At the end of the day, you have been around, like, since forever, and probably know much more about Equestria than all the words of all the books in all the libraries. Who knows, maybe you've been in hundreds of relationships before, but don't go flaunting yourself around expecting no reaction! I have feelings too, you know! You can't just waltz in, kick me in the heart, and then pretend nothing has happened! Are you deliberately acting like a tease? It's not nice, you know. Remember how you felt when Fluttershy went to the Gala with Tree Hugger? Well, it's the same for me, only a thousand times worse!
I'm all serious now. I just really really, really want you to notice me, at least a bit when you come over. I get if you want to keep it a secret, between the two of us and all. Seriously, I get it. I can't exactly tell my friends I have a crush on you either. At least, not right now. It will be way too awkward. Also I don't want to break any hearts just yet. Between you and me, I have some issues of my own to resolve as well. You see, things are a bit complicated right now, and I have to act gently, so as not to hurt anyone. Which would be easier if you actually let me know if anything is going on between us! Can't you, you know, give me a sign? Something that I could interpret as a yes? I'm not asking for much here! It's not like I'm demanding roses and candlelight dinners, although those would be nice.
Anyway, I better get going, before someone suspects what I am up to. And just to let you know, if you go around showing this letter to everypony, I'll deny writing it, so there! Also, I'm dictating, so good luck figuring out who this is. Unless you know already. Which you should!!
Happy bla bla, whatever, and all that other stuff!
P.S. I still hate you so much!
P.P.S. Please pass by the next time you visit Ponyville. I really love you, you goof.
Discord finished reading the letter, scratched his paw with his nose, then reread it again. This made no sense whatsoever! And it was precisely why he enjoyed it so much. Interesting who would go through all the trouble to—
"I know what this is!" the draconequus exclaimed, pleased. With the snap of his paw, a calendar appeared in the air in front of him. "April fools... Oh."
The date on the calendar read March 30th. Discord, looked at it, scratched his horn, then poofed the calendar into nothingness again. His mouth opened for a moment, as if to say something, then after several seconds of silence closed shut again. Confused, he reread the letter two more times.
"Well," he said, sitting down heavily on the bed. "Who do I send the reply to?"
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Lise · 1.1k words · 336 5 · 6k views
- Lise · 8.4k words · 392 9 · 5.3k views
- Lise · 10k words · 204 7 · 3.4k views
- Lise · 5.2k words · 89 4 · 2.3k views
- alarajrogers · 5.5k words · 236 4 · 4.4k views
- CoffeeMinion · 6.7k words · 612 26 · 13k views
- SPark · 5.4k words · 355 12 · 7k views
- SpunkyBrony · 1.2k words · 18 1 · 780 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.208 seconds
Total duration
733 users online
891,714 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It's Pinkie, isn't it. :|
I was thinking Dash, but that works just as well.
Oh my! How deliciously delightful! I would love to see a follow up :D
As usual, another excellent piece!
It's from Angel Bunny. The protective concern for Flutters, the 'when you come over' bits, never having specified being a pony, or even female, it all fits.
Seriously though, my guess is Twilight, for how she tore up the message three times in what may have been fits of OCD and wanting to get it juuuust right, the interactions she indicates she's seen, referring to him with a technical term like 'drake,' and that she's dictating the message.
6825293 My vote is Dash too
6825258
6825293
6825330
6825344
:D All good guesses, but... :)
6825330
Don't forget she mentioned that he has more experience than all the books in every library in Equestria!
6825293
I was thinking that or Rarity
6825423 Nice try, Neon :D
Most likely Twilight
6825427
My guess, Angel Bunny.
Totally
.
~Doc
6825496 Always an option. :)
6825685
6825624
Not Angel, no. That much, I can say for. certain.
6825709
B-but...
~Doc
6825711 Oh, you meant Spike?
Thought you meant Angel.
Angel, Celestia and Fluttershy are definitely not the sender.
How do people not realize it's Celestia?
6825719 Wait what? :)
I guess I haven't been reading it deep enough... Or have I? *dramatic music*
Hm, hard to say. I was initially thinking it was Luna based on how much knowledge the writer seemed to have about Celestia's private history, but that doesn't fit with the later elements and especially the bit about visiting in Ponyville at the end. Twilight seems like the next most logical guess based on the vocabulary, background knowledge, and some of the things it mentioned, but something about it just doesn't feel right for her. For the rest of the girls, Dash and AJ are out on account of the vocabulary being too complex for them and Fluttershy is out because she is mentioned in the letter. It also seems too organized and sensible for Pinkie so there is no way she could be the author which only leaves Rarity among the core cast. She could certainly be the author and would be the first pony Fluttershy would go to if she was uncomfortable about something which makes her a very likely choice, but you seem to have ruled her out.
That only leaves secondary characters which becomes a problem because very few of them have a close relationship with Fluttershy, and I cannot think of any that would qualify. Spike is probably the most likely because it did seem to come by dragonfire, but he is very invested in Rarity which would seem to eliminate him. The only other remote possibilities I can think of are the Crusaders who are far too young, Angel who doesn't speak so he couldn't have dictated the letter, and Big Mac who I don't think has a close enough relationship with Flutters to know some of this.
Well, looking back at the evidence and remembering that this is fanfic so you can ignore relationships, I think I'm going to guess Spike no matter how much I would like to see some Discord/Dash because that is virtually nonexistent.
6825719 The letter is explicitly saying that Celestia is not interested. Granted she could be pranking him, but I'm operating under the assumption that it is legitimate because anyone could send a prank letter and a prank letter could be written without knowing Fluttershy or Celestia's actual feelings.
6825758
:) Wow! Quite good analysis :D
And to mess things up, I'll just say that the person writing might have changed the style O:)
6825758 Oh, that's right! It must be Fluttershy that wrote the letter, while Spike dictated.
6825776 Thanks, and while it is possible that the style is deliberately changed, that would only add AJ to the list of possibilities since you already shot down Pinkie, Rainbow, and Twilight in the comments. That said, she would not be someone Fluttershy would ever go to because they don't seem to be very close so she is still out. If I were just going on the story I might shift to Rainbow based on that comment because she could have written this, but no matter how much I may want that to be the case I just cannot ignore the fact that you explicitly shot her down so I am sticking with Spike.
6825779 The problem with that is it would require Flutters to not break down in a quivering ball of embarrassment at the letter she was writing.
6825797 Okay but let's be honest it's really Applejack's eyebrow, right?
6825806 It is the only force in Equestria powerful enough to contain Discord after all.
The answer is Tom, naturally.
6826046 ...What gave it away? :P
Well, I'd just forget about it, the sender is nuts.
...Spike?
6826127 ... Or is she? *ominous music* :)
6826143 :) He might have been forced (thus the message on the scroll itself :))
No wait
It's Sir Jeffers
And Discord is Chad. Or Rebekkah... Maybe..... :|
Yeah, if you were going for Twitwi, I think it's a bit off-sounding. It definitely sounds more like RD than Twitwi. But that's just me.
angel?
I say its Rarity.
Shot it in the dark here but I am fairly certain the answer is...
Rainbow Dash.
With the bluntness of this, the close relationship with Fluttershy and her tendency to be rash and demanding pretty much seals it for me.
The only other character I see is Rarity.
It can only be Twilight. beacuse of
Twilight teleported the scroll to him
"The date on the calendar read March 30rd."
Is this supposed to be 30th, or 3rd? Great story otherwise.
6826673 ... No! :P
6826838 Maybe? :)
6826950
6827046
6827049
The truth is out there :) Although, I can confirm it is not Angel, or Celestia, or Fluttershy.
6827337 True, although it could still be Spike who sent it,
Remember, there was something written on the scroll :)
6827439 oops. I blame Discord!
Thanks for pointing that out :) All fixed now.
6827537 at first i was going to say that but their was no green fire that came with the scrolls witch is a signature for Spike's scroll-porting
6827556 Green flame is only for sending I think :)
They pop on the other side.
6827603 if you se the episode Griffin the brush off you will se Spike sending a bunch of mail to Celestia and they exit with a green flame when they materialis from the Ashes.
6827610 Maybe, I'm mistaken then... Or am I? :D
6827616 well they glow green at a minimum when they materialis Another exemple is the intro song. at the end of the intro do we see Celestia resiving a mail from Twilight. (me tired this grammar suck)
It's somepony.
But I enjoyed this. Seriously. No, wait, not seriously. The other thing that's the opposite.
6827616 This better damn well have a sequel.
Wait! I got it! DISCORD'S PARAMOUR IS DEFINA- hold on, somepony rang the doorbell. Huh, wonder who it is. Pizza's a bit early gettin- oh no! It's you! You're the one who wrote to Disco- what are you doing? NO! PLEASE! NOT THAT! IT'S JUST A- OH SWEET CELESTIA NOOOOOOOOOOOO!