Monanniverse
Joined 26th Apr, 2012 ·
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More, and sequel please.
It felt alittle rushed to me, but I like it though. Good Job mayne.
This is great to be as short as it is.
The cover art intrigued me -- it's a cute character design, and I'm a sucker for schoolgirl outfits. The description started to pull me in more -- sounded like an interesting situation, and I'm something of a fan of the subject matter. I was all set to check this story out when I saw this:
That just killed any interest I had.
6744048
Same here... would it be difficult for the writers to choose a random name?
I mean, seriously...
I would have read this story if not for that.
6744314 Really?
Anon is quite the normal thing to see in these one-shot clops.
It helps for the reader to feel like the protagonist.
6744048
6744314
Why would something as insignificant as a name turn you off from reading an entire story? Seems pretty similar to the "Book by it's Cover" argument.
I'm more asking out of genuine curiosity.
6746937
It is quite simple, really.
I was looking at these Anon stories like you, without thinking any of it.
Then I read those stories, read more and more of them and I grew sicker and sicker of reading Anon, how this 'character' is an empty shell with no details, no personality, nothing.
Your counterargument is that 'this way you can feel like you are in the story' and my countering to that is that no, I can only enjoy the story if I can at least somehow attach myself to the protagonist. In this case, it is not quite possible.
I hope my explanation helped you understand.
Note: who would just downvote my comments? What's the deal with that?
6745267
Only if the reader frequents imageboards.
For me it just looks lazy and silly. Like the author couldn't be arsed to think of a name and fails to see how odd seeing "anon" as a name looks. It doesn't help in stories where "anon" is written to actually have a personality, because then he's clearly a character in his own right, but the author never bothered to give him a name. Might as well just call him "Nameless", as it sounds just as out of place.
A slightly better alternative is when the story is written in first person and the author simply avoids naming the character at all. Sure it's awkward as hell to read, but it at least doesn't break immersion.
6746937
Didn't turn me off from reading it. I just didn't see it as a good thing. I can't see this as being a character in a story when the other characters refer to him as "anonymous". It would be like if the protagonist of a novel was literally named "protagonist". It simply kills suspension of disbelief. A reader isn't going to fill in a name in their head when they read it, they are just awkwardly reading around the poor naming choice. This type of thing does not look normal to the majority of people, and people don't usually bother complaining about it because it is and will remain omnipresent for as long as people think it's a good idea to name their character's "Anon".
6748830
6744048
6746983
You all have very valid reasonings and you can stand by them, for what it's worth, I thought it might be interesting to toss in my two cent on why I chose to make it Anon instead of something like Henry. I never expected the story to reach 5k words, the original plan was to have it only sit at 3.5k max and so I wanted a speedy quick to use character (since this was only meant to be a one shot thing) that could facillitate a delivery of something without me having to explain things. He was just meant to be a random guy that walked in on her doing this. He was never meant to have character because he was meant to be whatever the reader wanted him to be - be it themselves or someone else.
Perhaps if I ever revisit Amber to nudge her this way and that, I might give Anon a proper character. Or, perhaps it might be best not to. I think Amber is an interesting enough character with plenty of room for someone to explore her as well as the topic of a relationship that explores a softer side of BDSM. I would like to think that an Anon character's shallowness would place more emphasis on her struggle and have him only facilitate the progression from A to B instead of setting a solidified example of a relationship of this nature. But oh well, that's for future me to decide if it ever gets to that point.
6749640
I have read several stories with similar premises, in which all of them the main character was never outweighed by the secondary character, however developed that was. In this case, naming this guy and giving him a tiny personality would change none of the story's outcome, but it would create a better, immersing flow, without the constant break of realization of how empty and fake the guy is.
Ehm, what I mean to say is that if you go with a supporting character, he should be either completely nameless (the awkward route of never giving a name, as 6748830 put it), or going in a different direction and make a second person view ('you do this then you think that' style) so the actions of the supporting character are seen through his eyes and the reader achieves full immersion.
I can even provide you a great example in a story, if you are interested.
For the record, I do not mean to cause trouble with any of this, I only try to help creating better stories.
Are you going make a youtube read of this story?
I'll give amore detailed review in a bit but I just had to give you props for this line "painting a soft hue over the white canvas that was mesmerizing like a siren to a wayward sailor"
Damn that was hot! Also awesome job capturing her mentality, it really helped! Hope to read more!
Will there be a sequel to this?
so amazing man
Now that I've finally sat down and read this... the only thing I found out of sorts was you seemed to be jumping between anthro and feral pony.
Like here... the thighs are part of the leg, so not entirely sure what you meant.
Other than that, pretty good.
7571628
Yeah that's fair. When I wrote it, I wanted to keep things as feral pony as possible since that is what I prefer to present to people but most Bondage positions/placements are very much based on humans and feral Ponies just lack a lot of that flexibility needed for the full range of Bondage (the hind legs in particular due to their joint and axles) and so I just want for whatever would get the job done.
7571637 Fair enough, and I understand, having written for both feral and anthro. It's why I only have light, simple bondage in my feral fics nowadays.
Aaaayyyy I like this one.
Great job,
I can't help wondering what happens next. Im strangely invested in the two characters. Deserves A sequel.
The Monk
Hi I know I'm a bit late but please make a sequel I really like your story. but like seriously please make a sequel I really want to see it
10158982
Agreed I think this need a sequel